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Kid Speedy

2026-04-07T17:20:22Z

President Cold One: /* The Game */

{{anewgamenav|kidspeedy}}
{{Infobox Videlectrix Game|screencap=Kid Speedy Title.PNG|scalt=Speedy kid|description=Avoid the sweets! Get the fleet feets! |releasedate=July 10, 2006|gamelink=kidspeedy|boximg=Kid speedy box art.PNG|boxalt=Box art unavailable!}}

<blockquote>''"Who's faster than Kid Speedy? EVERYBODY!! This little fatso is the slowest poke in the bunch. Try not to get dead last while avoiding sweets and insults in this hilarious arcade-style race 'em up."'' {{--}} [[Videlectrix]]</blockquote>

'''Kid Speedy''' is a game in which you play the character Kid Speedy, trying to win a race (or, at least, not come in last). The game was originally only mentioned in the Videlectrix game catalog; it was made available for play on July 10, 2006.

'''Date:''' Monday, July 10, 2006

'''Page Title:''' Don't Forget Your Inhaler!

'''Viidelectrix Page Title:''' Kid Weedy

==The Game==
[[Image:Kidspeedy intstructions.PNG|thumb|left|Instructions]]
[[Image:kidspeedy.PNG|thumb|The slowest of the pokes]]
To qualify for the next race, you must finish the four-man race in third place or above. By collecting vegetables and happy faces, you make your character go faster (with one exception, see [[#Trivia|trivia]]). Collecting junk food or [[swears]] causes your character to lose all speed.
The player can race the chosen character on eleven different courses: Jelly Woods Fun Run, [[Cheese]] Puff Hills 2 Mile, [[Pork]]chop Wilds 5K, [[Egg]] Mountain Minithon, Probate Flats Walk-a-thon, [[Indiana]], [[Wikipedia:Chicago Loop|The Loop]], Demon's Rub Marathon, Doomed Souls Charity Trudge, Caramel Canyon Walk, and Crumble Star Sprintup (the last four tracks are only accessible if you are playing as a specific character, see trivia). Each track has borders resembling the name (example: Cheese Puff Hills has orange borders).

The game consists of two modes: 1 Player and "Online Play". However, all of the runners, in both modes, are computer controlled. The loading online players screen is just for show.

If you lose, you get the message "YOU GOT DEAD LAST!" and will have to try the race again. Otherwise, you "Qualify". If you qualify all eight tracks, you see the character's ending and unlock the next character, if one is available.

==The Ending==
===As Kid Speedy===
[[Image:Kidspeedy ending.PNG|thumb|YOU GOT NOT DEAD LAST!]]
''{Three runners are standing on a stand, cheering. A blimp flies overhead reading "WIN!" The camera pans left to Kid Speedy, who is bouncing up and down.}''

'''NARRATOR:''' ''{subtitled}'' CONGRATULATIONS! YOU GOT NOT DEAD LAST!

''{Kid Speedy walks off-screen to the left and enters a city scene. He is walking down a sidewalk beside a brick wall.}''

'''NARRATOR:''' ''{subtitled}'' KID SPEEDY WON A 2 DOLLAR CONSOLATION PRIZE...

''{Kid Speedy enters a room with a woman and television set inside. Kid Speedy bounces up and down again. Kid Speedy's dialogue is in white subtitles while his mom's is black.}''

'''KID SPEEDY:''' ''{subtitled}'' MOM! I WON 2 BUCKS!

'''KID SPEEDY'S MOM:''' ''{subtitled}'' NOW WE HAVE ENOUGH TO GET THE ORPHANAGE ITS OPERATION!

'''KID SPEEDY'S MOM:''' ''{subtitled}'' HOORAY! 
'''KID SPEEDY:''' ''{simultaneously; subtitled}'' HOORAY!

''{A screen showing yellow, blown-up text "the end" appears.}''

'''NARRATOR:''' ''{subtitled}'' YOU UNLOCKED STRONG SAD MODE!
===As {{Film|Strong Sad}}===
[[Image:Kidspeedy strong sad ending.PNG|thumb|CORRECTION: YOU WON ME 2 BUCKS.]]
''{Three runners are standing on a stand, cheering. A blimp flies overhead reading "WIN!" The camera pans left to Strong Sad, who is bouncing up and down.}''

'''NARRATOR:''' ''{subtitled}'' CONGRATULATIONS! YOU GOT NOT DEAD LAST!

''{Strong Sad walks off-screen to the left and enters [[Strong Badia]], with the white fence in the background.}''

'''NARRATOR:''' ''{subtitled}'' STRONG SAD WON A 2 DOLLAR CONSOLATION PRIZE...

''{Strong Sad enters the [[Basement of the Brothers Strong]]. {{Film|Strong Bad}} is here, along with the [[TROGDOR!|Trogdor arcade game]].}''

'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{subtitled}'' STRONG BAD! I WON 2 BUCKS!

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{subtitled}'' CORRECTION: YOU WON ME 2 BUCKS.

'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{subtitled}'' HOORAY! 
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{simultaneously; subtitled}'' HOORAY!

''{A screen showing yellow, blown-up text "the end" appears.}''

'''NARRATOR:''' ''{subtitled}'' YOU UNLOCKED KOT MODE!

===As {{Film|The King of Town}}===
[[Image:Kidspeedy kot ending.PNG|thumb|(I THINK HE ATE THE 2 BUCKS.)]]
''{Three runners are standing on a stand, cheering. A blimp flies overhead reading "WIN!" The camera pans left to The King of Town, who is bouncing up and down.}''

'''NARRATOR:''' ''{subtitled}'' CONGRATULATIONS! YOU GOT NOT DEAD LAST!

''{The King walks off-screen to the left and enters a green pasture, with mountains in the background.}''

'''NARRATOR:''' ''{subtitled}'' THE KOT WON A 2 DOLLAR CONSOLATION PRIZE...

''{The King enters [[The King of Town's Castle|the castle]], and walks past {{Film|The Poopsmith}}.}''

'''THE POOPSMITH:''' ''{subtitled}'' (I THINK HE ATE THE 2 BUCKS.)

'''THE POOPSMITH:''' ''{subtitled}'' (HOORAY.)

''{A screen showing yellow, blown-up text "the end" appears.}''

'''NARRATOR:''' ''{subtitled}'' YOU UNLOCKED HOMESTAR MODE!

===As {{Film|Homestar Runner}}===
[[Image:Kidspeedy hr ending.PNG|thumb|SOMEHOW HOMESTAR WON LIKE A MILLION DOLLARS...]]
''{Three runners are standing on a stand, cheering. A blimp flies overhead reading "WIN!" The camera pans left to Homestar, who is bouncing up and down.}''

'''NARRATOR:''' ''{subtitled}'' CONGRATULATIONS! YOU GOT NOT DEAD LAST!

''{Homestar walks off-screen to the left and enters a field, with trees and [[The Brick Wall]] in the background.}''

'''NARRATOR:''' ''{subtitled}'' SOMEHOW HOMESTAR WON LIKE A MILLION DOLLARS...

''{Homestar enters {{Film|Marzipan}}'s [[Marzipan's House|house]].}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{subtitled}'' MARZIPAN! I WON A MILLS BILLS!

'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{subtitled}'' NOW WE HAVE ENOUGH FOR A HYBRID CAR, OR MAYBE...

''{Homestar and Marzipan drive for a while in their new car. A screen showing yellow, blown-up text "the end" appears.}''

==Easter Eggs==
*While Homestar and Marzipan are driving at the end of the game, you can control the car with the left and right arrow keys.
*At the title screen, you can press "s", "k" or "h" ten times to start the game as Strong Sad, The King of Town or Homestar Runner, respectively.

==Fun Facts==
[[Image:Kidspeedy strong sad mode.PNG|thumb|Strong Sad mode]]
===Explanations===
*The term "Race 'em up" is based on the widely-recognized genres "Shoot 'em up" and "Beat 'em up".
*Kid Speedy is most likely a parody of "educational" computer games that often promote nutrition.

===Trivia===
*Each race starts with the message "Ready! Set! OK, now go."
*If you win the game, you unlock "Strong Sad Mode", where your character becomes Strong Sad. Beating the game as Strong Sad unlocks "KOT Mode", where you play as The King of Town. Beating the game again finally unlocks "Homestar Mode", where you play as Homestar Runner.
*When you play the last race, a group of runners will pass you and your opponents very quickly (They can be seen in the left margin of every race, running in place, if you play the Flash file). If your last race is the shortest race, Egg Mountain Minithon (#4), then these runners can finish the race in under seven seconds.
*The box art for Kid Speedy reads "BOX ART UNAVAILABLE!".
* The gameplay is very random: It is possible to acquire every healthy food item in the course and only them, and still lose.
*"The Loop" is the only level in the game whose preview shows a design that doesn't loop.
*On July 17, 2006, version 1.new was released, with several changes:
**Added The King of Town and Homestar Runner as unlockable characters – previously, only Strong Sad could be unlocked, and Kid Speedy would still appear at the end of each level and the end of the game.
**Added tomato and cookie items.
**Food items bob up and down on some levels now.
**The 8th level now changes depending on your character:
***Kid Speedy{{--}} Demon's Rub Marathon
***Strong Sad{{--}} Doomed Souls Charity Trudge (the map resembles Strong Sad's head)
***The King of Town{{--}} Caramel Canyon Walk-Take (the map resembles a [[ham]])
***Homestar Runner{{--}} Crumble Star Sprintup (the map resembles a star)
*Your three opponents behave like this: two of them run at a constant speed all the way to the finish line, the third changes every 3 seconds (on average - it can be anywhere from 0 to 6) to be slightly faster than you (how much faster depends on what level you're playing). When you collect a power-down item, the third opponent will always match speeds a second and a half later.
*Kid Speedy, Strong Sad, and The King of Town can achieve third or even second place, but cannot achieve first place. For Homestar Runner, however, first place is possible.
*Although the game was originally hosted on the Videlectrix site, it was also uploaded onto [[Homestarrunner.com]], though this version remained unlinked from the website until the [[post-Flash site update]].
*This game suggests that [[Marzipan's House]] is to the left of [[the brick wall]]. However, in [[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]], it is impossible to reach Marzipan's House any other way than clicking on it from the map.

===Remarks===
*When you beat Strong Sad Mode, he is seen jumping up and down. In [[Strong Sad's Lament]], he revealed that he was unable to jump.
*If you play the game with the Flash file, you can cheat on every level by right-clicking on the game and selecting ''Play'' after the race starts. You'll hear the falling down sound effect and see the congratulations screen for a few seconds, then it will show the typical qualified screen.

===Differences between the characters===
====Strong Sad====
*There's a chance that one of your opponents will be Kid Speedy.
*Speed-up items work 50% better than they do for Kid Speedy.
*Strong Sad slows down twice as fast as Kid Speedy.
*When you collect a speed-down item, the third opponent (see [[#Trivia|trivia]]) will match speeds with you, plus a large amount (more than they usually beat you by), right before you slow down (so if you're going full speed when you hit one, they'll race ahead of you for that 1.5 seconds).

====The King of Town====
*There's a chance that Strong Sad and Kid Speedy will be among your opponents.
*The "good" and "bad" collectibles are reversed - junk food and swears speed you up and good food and smiley faces slow you down.
*He trips and falls on the qualification movie, causing the victory music to abruptly stop.

====Homestar Runner====
*Your opponents will always be Kid Speedy, Strong Sad, and The King of Town.
*Homestar's maximum running speed is 25% higher than the others'.
*Speed-up items work twice as well as they do for Kid Speedy.

===Glitches===
*In Flash Player 6, Kid Speedy's slowest opponent is absent. While getting second place is extremely difficult, it's impossible to lose since he can rank no lower than third.
*If you qualify for a level, but play it again and lose, you will have to beat it again to win the game.
* No matter which race you choose in version 1.new, it will always show the image of your character's eighth race when you qualify.
**This was later fixed for the [[Viidelectrix]] version. However, qualifying for the eighth race will now always show the map of Demon's Rub Marathon, regardless of which character you are.
*Sometimes, if you are playing as the King of Town, the items will have their normal effects: the good items will help you, and the bad items will harm you.
*While watching the demo, changing to the King of Town by pressing "k" ten times before the screen displays the "Lose speed with these" parts will change the aforementioned section, paradoxically making it seem as though collecting the healthy objects will raise ''and'' decrease your speed.
**Likewise, starting the demo with the King of Town and then swapping to anyone else in the same manner as above, the screen will note that junk food and swears increase ''and'' decrease your speed.

===Fixed Glitches===
*When the game first came out, the player had to cross the center of the finish line to finish the level, while the computer players needed only touch the edge of the line. Thus it was possible to finish barely ahead of the last runner, but still lose the level. This has since been fixed.

===Inside References===
*One of the tracks is the "EGG MOUNTAIN MiNiTHON", making this another instance of [[Lowercase i's]] and [[eggs]].
*Homestar Runner's ending includes a reference to [[hybrid cars]].
*The Mini-map sprites are similar to the ones in [[Secret Collect]]. The player's mini-map sprite is [[Strong Bad]]'s and the others are "secrets".
*The narrator says "CONGRATULATIONS! YOU GOT [[NOT]] DEAD LAST!"
*Videlectrix calls the game a "hilarious arcade-style [[X 'em Up|race 'em up]]".

===Real-World References===
*The "Indiana" and "The Loop" levels are likely inspired by the the arcade racing game [[Wikipedia:Cruis'n USA|Cruis'n USA]], which features [[Wikipedia:Chicago|Chicago]] and [[Wikipedia:Indiana|Indiana]] venues.
*"Wide Loading" (on the [[Irregular Loading Screens|loading screen]]) is a reference to the "Wide Load" sign which appears on trucks carrying large items. It is also used as a slang term for "fat".
*In the Flash file of Kid Speedy, there are three other runners to the left of the screen and they seem to be wearing colors of flags. The top runner wears the flag of [[Wikipedia:Germany|Germany]] and the middle runner wears the flag of [[Wikipedia:Sweden|Sweden]]. The lowest runner wears the flag of [[Wikipedia:Kenya|Kenya]] (black, red, and green stripes, separated by white). These runners are later seen racing ahead to the finish line in the 8th race, as well as in the ending.
*At the ending podium, the three "winning" runners each have an animation similar to the animations made by the characters at the end of [[wikipedia:Super Mario Kart|Super Mario Kart]]. Notably, the "first place" winner's ending looks like he is clanging champagne bottles, similar to Koopa Troopa's victory animation in Mario Kart.
*When Kid Speedy trips on the finish line, he does so in the same manner and sound as does the character in the [[wikipedia:NES|NES]] version of [[wikipedia:Track & Field (arcade game)|Track & Field]].
*Kid Speedy's ending sequence is a reference to the common movie theme of competing in a race or other competition to win money to either save an orphanage or pay for an operation.
*Homestar's ending segment which shows him and Marzipan driving towards the sunset is an homage to the [[Wikipedia:Sega|Sega]] racing title [[wikipedia:OutRun|OutRun]]. Its drawing style also resembles the arcade game [[wikipedia:Pole Position|Pole Position]].
*The insult power-downs may be a reference to [[Wikipedia:Duke Nukem (computer game)|Duke Nukem]], where swear words are a powerup instead.
*Mills Bills were part of a [[Wikipedia:General Mills|General Mills]] cereal promotion in which cereal box tops could be collected and redeemed for money for a local school.
*This game is also a reference to an [[Atari 2600]] game called [http://www.atariage.com/software_page.html?SoftwareLabelID=173 Fast Food], with the junk food items replacing the purple pickles.

===Possible Names in Online Mode===
*There are several possible names that you can get as opponents in Online Mode. Each three-letter name includes a number following their name, while four-letter names do not.
**BAM
**BOB
**BSI
**[[DAN]]
**DING
**FMV
**FOOP
**GOB
**JAM
**JIM
**[[Nebulon|NEB]]
**[[Wikipedia: Pogs|POG]]
**QUA
**RIT
**SOT
**STAN
**TOD
*The following names were added in version 1.new.
**[[Wikipedia:Eight ball|8BAL]]
**FRUM
**[[Wikipedia:Gobi Desert|GOBI]]
**GUMB
**JILL
**KOT8 (The King of Town, only available if playing as Homestar Runner)
**KSPE (Kid Speedy, only available if not playing as him)
**[[Lem Sportsinterviews|LEM]]
**PIGG
**SSAD (Strong Sad, only available if playing as The King of Town or Homestar Runner)

==External Links==
{{nextlinks|action=play|kidspeedy|old=kidspeedy}}
{{extlinks|action=play|vii/ks|swf=vii/kidspeedy|site=Videlectrix|title=the Wii version of the game|noquotes=true|9062}}

{{VidelectrixGames}}

[[Category:Videlectrix Games]]
[[Category:Viidelectrix]]

Dangeresque (film series)

2024-06-02T09:37:53Z

President Cold One: /* Series entries */

{{about|film series}} {{for-nothe|other uses of the word "Dangeresque"|Dangeresque}}
[[File:feb10.png|thumb|220px|So dangerous, so dangerous!]]
'''''Dangeresque''''' is a series of amateur {{w|Action film|action movies}} made by [[Strong Bad]], who also stars as [[Dangeresque (character)|the title character]]: "a private eye, a crooked cop, a secret agent, and a celebrity pharmacist" who fights both "the law" and "the crime". He is assisted by [[Renaldo]], played by [[Coach Z]], and encounters several other characters played by the various denizens of [[Free Country, USA]].

The homemade movies, shot with [[The Cheat]]'s video [[camera]], parody cliches of 70s and 80s action filmmaking and are generally [[poor acting|cheaply made and poorly acted]]. Visual effects and titles are applied in-camera rather than through editing, with cardboard sets or [[The Stunt Double|stunt doubles]] very apparent. Dangeresque's method of crime fighting is patent nonsense, but the timely delivery of catch phrases like "Looks like I'm gonna have to jump!" always makes the [[Strong Bad's Ladies|ladies]] smile.

==Series entries==
[[Image:Dangeresque PEOI.png|thumb|"So I'm gonna have to—"]]
The ''Dangeresque'' series has not been released in production order (notably, ''Dangeresque II'' was [[stunt double|the first one shown]]); oftentimes only a portion of the full "movie" is shown in a toon. Series "canon" is very loose, befitting the informal production of entries.

*'''''Dangeresque 0: The Prequel Begins''''' ([[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective Responses (Secret Lab)#Renaldo|mentioned in]] ''The Criminal Projective'')
**Taking place in [[1983]], a conflict with [[Professor Experimento]] results in [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective Responses (Strongborneo)#Bearshark|Dangeresque getting kicked out of the space program]].
*'''''Dangeresque 1: Dangeresque, Too?''''' {{--}} Not in 3D ("digitally remastered" director's cut shown in [[dangeresque 3]])
**Dangeresque and his new partner [[Dangeresque Too]] must put aside their differences to reclaim a serum stolen by [[Perducci]], which will prevent [[Cutesy Buttons]] from getting kidnapped.
*'''''Dangeresque II: This Time, It's Not Dangeresque 1''''' (highlights shown in [[stunt double]])
**Dangeresque risks life and limb to recover a missing VHS tape, coming into conflict with the dastardly [[Baron Darin Diamonocle]].
*'''''Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective''''' {{--}} in 3D! (a playable game released as [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective|the fourth episode]] of [[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]])
**Renaldo is about to retire when the case to get the formula to restore Cutesy Buttons's rainforest escalates into a large adventure climaxing into a confrontation with Uzi Bazooka and Craig.
**[[Dangeresque: THREE in 3D|An edited version of the game's cinematics]] was released in anaglyph 3D on the [[SBCG4AP Collector's DVD]].
*'''''Dangeresque: Put Em on Ice!''''' (featured in a [[rock opera#Easter Eggs|rock opera]] Easter egg)
**A brief scene of Dangeresque ice skating is shown. This may have been a stage production rather than a movie.
*'''''[[Dangeresque: Puppet Squad|Dangeresque: Puppet Squad - The Curly Fried Caper]]'''''
**Dangeresque and Dangeresque Too track down the guy who stole his curly fries that one time.
*'''''Dangeresque 4 ÷ 2 = 6''''' (featured in [[sbemail 206]])
**A fake movie trailer released as an [[April Fools']] joke, Dangeresque and Dangeresque Too encounter [[Duplicate Characters|duplicates of themselves]].
*'''''[[Dangeresque Puppet Squad: The Hot Jones Hijack]]'''''
**Invited to the [[Cheat Commandos]] Bring-Your-Own-Hot-Jones Decemberween Party, Dangeresque and [[Firebert]] must recover the [[Hot Jones]] that has been stolen by [[Stingy Relenque]].
*'''''[[Dangeresque: The Roomisode Triungulate]]''''' (a trilogy of games)
:#[[Dangeresque Roomisode 1: Behind the Dangerdesque|Behind the Dangerdesque]] {{--}} Dangeresque fake-solves a cold case to prevent [[The Chief]] from sending him to jail!
:#[[Dangeresque Roomisode 2: The Intersection of Doom & Boom|The Intersection of Doom & Boom]] {{--}} Dangeresque and Renaldo deal with [[The Gremlin|car]] troubles at a seedy intersection!
:#[[Dangeresque Roomisode 3: Keep My Enemies, Loser|Keep My Enemies, Loser]] {{--}} Dangeresque is forced to take a side-gig doing security consulting for Perducci!
:#[[Dangeresque Roomisode X: Inspection Certificate on File in Building Office|Inspection Certificate on File in Building Office]] {{--}} Dangeresque Too must escape an assassination attempt at the Swissblonkel Hotel!

==Cast==
{{seealso|Characters#Dangeresque}}
[[Image:sbemail80.png|thumb|Renaldo meets with Dangeresque in [[Smoky Office|his office]].]]
===Protagonists===
*[[Dangeresque (character)|Dangeresque]] {{--}} [[Strong Bad]]
*[[Renaldo]] {{--}} [[Coach Z]]
*[[Cutesy Buttons]] {{--}} [[Marzipan]]
*[[Dangeresque Too]] {{--}} [[Homestar Runner]]
*[[Professor Experimento]] {{--}} [[Pom Pom]]
*[[Dadgeresque]] {{--}} [[Senor Cardgage]]
*[[The Chief]]
*[[Kowalski]] (mentioned)
===Antagonists===
*[[Baron Darin Diamonocle]] {{--}} [[Bubs]]
*[[Perducci]] {{--}} [[The King of Town]]
*[[Killingyouguy]] {{--}} [[Strong Mad]] (credited as "himself")
*[[Szechuan Steve]] {{--}} [[The Cheat]]
*[[Uzi Bazooka]] {{--}} Homestar Runner
*[[Sultry Buttons]] {{--}} Marzipan
*[[Craig]] {{--}} The Cheat
*[[The Monster]] {{--}} [[Strong Sad]]
*[[Stingy Relenque]] {{--}} Homestar Runner
===Supporting Cast===
*[[Hot Tub]] {{--}} Strong Sad (credited as "[[Dump|El Dumpo]]")
*[[The Informant]] {{--}} Strong Sad
*[[Kidnapping Victim]] {{--}} [[The Poopsmith]]
*[[Waitre D]] {{--}} The Cheat
===Other===
*[[Istanbul]] {{--}} The Cheat
*[[The Stunt Double]] {{--}} Strong Sad (uncredited)

===Cheat Commandos featured in crossover===
As seen in ''[[Dangeresque Puppet Squad: The Hot Jones Hijack]]''.
*[[Firebert]]
*[[Gunhaver]]
*[[Crackotage]]
*[[Fightgar]]
*[[Reynold]]
*[[Silent Rip]] (voice only)

==Music==

Since nothing says vintage cop shows like a funky groove, Dangeresque employs a [[Wikipedia:Theme from Shaft|Shaft]]-style anthem in "[[The Theme from Dangeresque II]]". The end credits of ''Dangeresque 1'' and ''Dangeresque 3'' have a softer, 1980s buddy movie feel with "[[Today is Alright 4 2Nite]]". The end credits sequence of [[Dangeresque: The Roomisode Triungulate]] uses a similar-sounding song, "You're Gonna Have 2 Jump". The underlying score of the films themselves are short, sparse, rather campy interludes between scenes sung by Strong Bad.

==Fun Facts==
[[Image:D3poster.PNG|thumb|We'll see... [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective|Just you wait...]]]]

*Dangeresque's cool glasses are illustrated in the liner notes of the [[Strong Bad Sings and Other Type Hits|Strong Bad Sings CD]]. Strong Bad himself is obviously the illustrator, since he does not fail to remember the hatching (see [[suntan]]).
*[[The Brothers Chaps]] had [[stunt double#Commentary Transcript|originally planned to name the series]] "Danger Man". However, upon learning that the name had already been used by {{w|Danger Man|a 1960s TV series}}, the decision was made to change to "Dangeresque".
*Elements of Dangeresque may be inspired by the audio show ''{{w|Sounds Dangerous!}}'' from [[Disney|Walt Disney World]]. The show featured undercover cop Charlie Foster ({{w|Drew Carey}}) taking down smuggler Lefty Moreno, who is disguised as circus performer The Great Rinaldi.
* In the email [[the movies]], it is said that Dangeresque 3 will come out "We'll See...". It also shows four crossed out dates, ranging from 2004 to 2006 (all having passed by the time of the email's release). Later in the same email, Strong Sad (who was listing every movie that onscreen actors had starred in), reacts to Strong Bad by stating "He was in Dangeresque 1 and 2!"
**The [[Sega|Genesis]] version of ''{{w|Lufia and the Fortress of Doom}}'', which was eventually cancelled, had a similar ad campaign to that poster for Dangeresque 3.
* When Strong Bad is interviewed in [[DNA Evidence]], he acts in character and costume as Dangeresque, and the Dangeresque theme often plays in the background. The "Looks like I'm gonna have to jump!" catchphrase also makes an appearance.

*[[Homsar]] is the only main character not to have any role in the movies.
{{Dangeresque}}
[[Category: Dangeresque]]
[[Category:Strong Bad Email Spin-offs]]

Dangeresque Too

2024-06-01T09:31:35Z

President Cold One:

{{about|character}} {{for|second movie in the Dangeresque series|stunt double}}

[[Image:dangeresquetoo.PNG|thumb|"The name's Dangeresque. Nice to meet ya."]]

''From his [[Dangeresque: The Roomisode Triungulate]] [[Steam Trading Cards#Dangeresque: The Roomisode Triungulate|trading card]]:''
<blockquote>
"No one knows exactly where Dangeresque Too came from. He claims to have been on 'the force' in the 'inner upwest southwise' precinct but no one has been able to corroborate this. He can do a mean hurrican kick and leaves a trail of first place racquetball trophies wherever he goes."
</blockquote>

'''Dangeresque Too''' is a private eye from the [[Dangeresque (film series)|''Dangeresque'' film series]], played by [[Homestar Runner]]. He wears [[Cool Shades|sunglasses]], like the ''other'' character named [[Dangeresque (character)|Dangeresque]]; however, his are {{wp|shutter shades}} rather than {{w|aviator sunglasses|aviators}}. In ''Dangeresque 1: Dangeresque, Too?'', he is forced to work with Dangeresque against his will to thwart [[Perducci]] and his evil henchman [[Killingyouguy]]. Dangeresque Too defeats Killingyouguy with a well-placed "The pipes are broken!" attack, a parody of the Tatsumaki Senpuu Kyaku attack (known in English as the Hurricane Kick) from the ''[[Street Fighter]]'' video game series. Dangeresque and Dangeresque Too set aside their differences and eventually become friends, Dangeresque Too becoming Dangeresque's "on-again off-again sometimes other partner with the same name as [him]", with [[Renaldo]] remaining Dangeresque's regular partner.

Dangeresque Too returned in ''[[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]]''. In this movie, a lookalike robot named [[Uzi Bazooka]] is created by the villain [[Craig]] to lead Dangeresque to assume that his partner had turned on him. At the end, the real Dangeresque Too showed himself at the space station and revealed Uzi to be a robot. He then went to take Craig, but was easily overpowered, until Dangeresque [[Kicking The Cheat|kicked]] Craig into the airlock. If maximum awesomeness is earned, the player obtains his shades for a clothing item.

Dangeresque Too's shades are an item that [[Strong Bad]] can bet in ''[[Poker Night at the Inventory]]'', which, if won, are unlocked for use in ''{{w|Team Fortress 2}}''.

In ''[[Dangeresque Roomisode X: Inspection Certificate on File in Building Office Responses]]'', Dangeresque Too finds himself in a tight spot when a bad guy sends him plummeting to his doom in a falling elevator while he's on vigil at the Swissblonkel Hotel. He manages to stop the elevator, but finds assassins waiting for him in the lobby. Through some effort, he manages to come up with a disguise, but is forced to fight his way out when his disguise scares the assassins into shooting at him. Ironically, this "attack" would become the case Dangeresque is forced to pretend-solve in ''[[Dangeresque Roomisode 1: Behind the Dangerdesque]]''.

== Complete Filmography ==
*'''Debut:''' Email [[dangeresque 3]]
*[[Dangeresque: Puppet Squad]]
*[[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]]
*Email [[sbemail 206]]
*[[@strongbadactual (Instagram)]] {{--}} August 24, 2017; September 2, 2017
*[[Dangeresque: The Roomisode Triungulate]] (post-game content, ''Roomisode X'' protagonist)

{{Dangeresque|cat=Dangeresque Characters}}
{{Homestar Runner variations}}

Dangeresque Too

2024-06-01T09:30:38Z

President Cold One: Added Roomisode X Info

{{about|character}} {{for|second movie in the Dangeresque series|stunt double}}

[[Image:dangeresquetoo.PNG|thumb|"The name's Dangeresque. Nice to meet ya."]]

''From his [[Dangeresque: The Roomisode Triungulate]] [[Steam Trading Cards#Dangeresque: The Roomisode Triungulate|trading card]]:''
<blockquote>
"No one knows exactly where Dangeresque Too came from. He claims to have been on 'the force' in the 'inner upwest southwise' precinct but no one has been able to corroborate this. He can do a mean hurrican kick and leaves a trail of first place racquetball trophies wherever he goes."
</blockquote>

'''Dangeresque Too''' is a private eye from the [[Dangeresque (film series)|''Dangeresque'' film series]], played by [[Homestar Runner]]. He wears [[Cool Shades|sunglasses]], like the ''other'' character named [[Dangeresque (character)|Dangeresque]]; however, his are {{wp|shutter shades}} rather than {{w|aviator sunglasses|aviators}}. In ''Dangeresque 1: Dangeresque, Too?'', he is forced to work with Dangeresque against his will to thwart [[Perducci]] and his evil henchman [[Killingyouguy]]. Dangeresque Too defeats Killingyouguy with a well-placed "The pipes are broken!" attack, a parody of the Tatsumaki Senpuu Kyaku attack (known in English as the Hurricane Kick) from the ''[[Street Fighter]]'' video game series. Dangeresque and Dangeresque Too set aside their differences and eventually become friends, Dangeresque Too becoming Dangeresque's "on-again off-again sometimes other partner with the same name as [him]", with [[Renaldo]] remaining Dangeresque's regular partner.

Dangeresque Too returned in ''[[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]]''. In this movie, a lookalike robot named [[Uzi Bazooka]] is created by the villain [[Craig]] to lead Dangeresque to assume that his partner had turned on him. At the end, the real Dangeresque Too showed himself at the space station and revealed Uzi to be a robot. He then went to take Craig, but was easily overpowered, until Dangeresque [[Kicking The Cheat|kicked]] Craig into the airlock. If maximum awesomeness is earned, the player obtains his shades for a clothing item.

Dangeresque Too's shades are an item that [[Strong Bad]] can bet in ''[[Poker Night at the Inventory]]'', which, if won, are unlocked for use in ''{{w|Team Fortress 2}}''.

In ''[[Dangeresque Roomisode X: Inspection Certificate on File in Building Office Responses]]'', Dangeresque Too finds himself in a tight spot when a bad guy sends him plummeting to his doom in a falling elevator while he's on vigil at the Swissblonkel Hotel. He manages to stop the elevator, but finds assassins waiting for him in the lobby. Through some effort, he manages to come up with a disguise, but is forced to fight his way out when his disguise scares the assassins into shooting at him. Ironically, this "attack" would become the case Dangeresque is forced to pretend-solve in ''[[Dangeresque Roomisode 1: Behind the Dangerdesque]]''.

== Complete Filmography ==
*'''Debut:''' Email [[dangeresque 3]]
*[[Dangeresque: Puppet Squad]]
*[[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]]
*Email [[sbemail 206]]
*[[@strongbadactual (Instagram)]] {{--}} August 24, 2017; September 2, 2017
*[[Dangeresque: The Roomisode Triungulate]] (post-game content)

{{Dangeresque|cat=Dangeresque Characters}}
{{Homestar Runner variations}}

i rule

2021-03-11T08:48:36Z

President Cold One:

{{sbenav}}

[[Image:sbemail11.PNG|thumb|"Aaaah, my kingdom continues to flourish."]]

When Mike wonders why Strong Bad doesn't rule the world, or at least some kind of field, Strong Bad brings [[Strong Badia]] to the public eye for the first time.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|The Cheat}}

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[Strong Badia]]

'''Computer:''' [[Tandy 400]]

'''Date:''' Monday, January 28, 2002

'''Running Time:''' 0:40

'''Page Title:''' Tandy 400!!!

{{dvd|strongbad_email.exe Disc One}}

'''SBEmail Menu Description:''' Strong Bad checks in on/invents Strong Badia. Apparently it is behind a dumpster we've never seen before.

== Transcript ==

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{muttering}'' Email, grumble grumble, email, grumble... ''{stops muttering}''

<blockquote class="short tandy email">If you are so evil, how come you don't rule 
the world or at least some kind of field? 
 
Mike, UK</blockquote>

''{Strong Bad pronounces UK as "uck"}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' What are you talking about, Mike, UK? ''{pronounces UK as "uck" again}'' I mean I've totally ruled that field out behind the—

''{Cut to Strong Badia. It is windy and has a gray sky. A blue can rolls past.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{offscreen}'' —dumpsters since like diaper school, man.

''{Strong Bad appears and holds his arm up proudly.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Aaaah, my kingdom continues to flourish. Uh, carry on, everyone.

''{The Cheat appears from behind the white fence and approaches the tire.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey! The Cheat! What, you wanna get banished? Don't touch that!

''{[[The Paper]] comes down.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' What're you standing around for, man? Don't you have, like, some of my bidding to do?

== Fun Facts ==
===Trivia===
*This is the first Strong Bad Email in which The Cheat appears.
*This is the first appearance of [[Strong Badia]].
*This is the first Strong Bad Email where the sender gives a location outside of the United States.
*This is the [[Strong Bad Email By Length|second-shortest email]], next to [[sb_email 22]] with a running time of 0:34, and the shortest including Easter eggs, since sb_email 22's Easter egg puts its total running time at 0:58.
*The [[YouTube]] description for this email is "Strong Bad checks in on/invents Strong Badia. Apparently it is behind a dumpster we've never seen before."

===Remarks===
*The back button is on the right side of the screen instead of on the left side of the screen.
*Unlike in most toons, The Cheat has a blinking animation, like Homestar and Marzipan.

===Goofs===
*When the Paper comes down, its shadow is right behind it as if it were directly in front of a flat picture.

===Inside References===
*Strong Bad mentions [[diaper]] school.

===Fast Forward===

*Here, Strong Bad warns The Cheat not to touch the tire. Later, in [[date]], it is revealed what security measures Strong Bad employs to prevent this from happening.
*In [[colonization]], Strong Bad reuses the phrase "out behind the dumpsters" in reference to Strong Badia.

== DVD Version ==
*The DVD version features hidden audio commentary. To access it, switch the DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

=== Commentary Transcript ===
('''Commentary by:''' [[Mike Chapman]], [[Strong Bad]])

'''STRONG BAD:''' Dun dun DUUUN!

'''MIKE:''' OK, so I've been joined in the commentary booth by Strong Bad—

'''STRONG BAD:''' Mr. SuTo.

'''MIKE:''' Mr. SuTo, apparently, is his new name, so—

'''STRONG BAD:''' Supreme Total. It's the shortness for Supreme Total.

'''MIKE:''' Oh, SuTo. Mr. SuTo.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah.

'''MIKE:''' Mr. Supreme Total Strong Bad.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Remember when it used to be windy in Strong Badia all the time?

'''MIKE:''' And the sky was always gray.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah.

'''MIKE:''' The sky's sometimes still gray—

'''STRONG BAD:''' Not anymore! Now—now that I've taken over, things have—

'''MIKE:''' Brightened up.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah. This is before I had the Bear-Shark. I just had verbally—to verbally abuse The Cheat. This a ''short'' email!

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, get outta here.

'''STRONG BAD:''' OK, I'm outta here!

=== Fun Facts ===
*Strong Bad references the [[Bear-Shark]].

== External Links ==
{{sbemailextlinks|11|youtube=UUPcfz6ZHhs}}

{{Strong Bad Email}}

[[Category:Tandy 400 Emails]] [[Category: Emails With DVD Commentary]]

Poor Acting

2020-07-22T04:57:24Z

President Cold One:

[[Image:xmas2002.png|thumb|"Uhh... I found a computer. I think it can help us!"]]

Despite the substantial number of budding actors in [[Free Country, USA]], many of the main [[characters]] appear to have '''poor acting''' abilities. In many commercials and stage-productions, the actors talk awkwardly and with little enthusiasm, and may occasionally laugh unconvincingly. On some occasions, even [[The Brothers Chaps]] themselves will indulge in some deliberately poor acting.

==Appearances==
*[[Fluffy Puff Commercial]] — While filming the [[Fluffy Puff Marshmallows]] commercial, [[Homestar Runner]] mispronounces and later forgets his lines.
*[[First Time Here]] — Homestar once again forgets his lines and goes through 126 takes before [[Strong Bad]] bursts in to mock Homestar for being unable to remember his lines.
*[[A Decemberween Pageant]] — Most of the characters speak flatly throughout the pageant.
**Homestar is unaware that he is on stage when he talks to [[Marzipan]] at the beginning.
**[[Bubs]] mishears one of Strong Bad's lines and later [[G#G as J|mispronounces]] the word "[[gold]]".
**Strong Bad is later "attacked" by a squid and reacts unenthusiastically.
**In one scene, Strong Bad, Bubs, and Marzipan attempt to ad lib while [[Strong Sad]] prepares for his line, but do so with much difficulty.
*Email [[suntan]] — Strong Sad reads his [[Ab-Abber 2000]] testimonial with a slow, stilted tone, like he's reading off a teleprompter. He then talks to Strong Bad off camera while it's still recording.
*Email [[stunt double]] — All of the characters seem to speak quite slowly during the clips.
**Bubs as [[Baron Darin Diamonocle]] mispronounces "Dangeresque" as "Danger-skew".
*[[Cheat Commandos (toon)|Cheat Commandos]] — When Strong Bad provides the voices of each [[Cheat Commando]] toy, he speaks haltingly and unenthusiastically.
*Email [[dangeresque 3]] — Most of the dialogue in this movie can be considered to be clichéd.
**[[Coach Z]] misses his cue, speaks awkwardly on the phone and manages to muddle his line before turning to the camera and asking "How was that?"
**Strong Bad and Homestar seem to forget their lines during the racquetball scene, requiring them to ad lib, and laugh unconvincingly near the end of the movie.
*[[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 9.2]] — Homestar does poor imitations of Marzipan, Strong Bad, Coach Z, Strong Sad, and [[Homestar Runner and Homestar Runner's Relationship|himself]] after he accidentally leaves a bad message on Marzipan's [[PhoneTime XL8|answering machine]].
*[[Sample of Style]] — [[The Brothers Chaps]] talk in cheesy voices throughout the skit.
*[[Blubb-O's Commercial]] — Strong Bad and Homestar Runner act unenthusiastically during this advert.
**Strong Bad, [[The Cheat]] and [[Strong Mad]] laugh forcibly near the beginning.
*[[SBCG4AP Gameplay Trailer]] — For the entire duration of this trailer, Strong Bad and Homestar speak unconvincingly and with little enthusiasm.
**At one point, Strong Bad calls Homestar "Hom...star" and, towards the end, quickly tells The Cheat to "Shut up."
*[[SBCG4AP Tutorial]] — Bubs forgets his part at first. When reminded, he speaks very flatly and unemotionally when he's supposed to be sad.
**Strong Bad and Strong Sad also say their lines rather impassively.
**All three characters break out of their parts and speak to each other normally throughout the tutorial.
*Email [[being mean]] — [[Drama Club|Coach Z's Nicetown Players]], consisting of Coach Z, Marzipan, and Strong Mad, act poorly during their sketch about being nice; many of their lines are non sequiturs.
**Strong Mad misses his cue and later breaks character to tease Coach Z.
*[[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]] — The clichés and unconvincing deliveries prevalent in the first two ''Dangeresque'' movies are still common.
**Strong Bad accidentally starts to answer the door before Marzipan knocks.
**Marzipan breaks character to criticize Strong Bad's explanation of the formula's origin and later again to remind him that she did not want to get her hair cut for the role.
**Strong Bad has to call Marzipan by her real name instead of her [[Cutesy Buttons|character]]'s name in order for her to notice his distraction.
**Bubs continues to constantly mispronounce Dangeresque.
**Bubs also mispronounces [[Perducci]] as "Per-dookie".
**Homestar as [[Uzi Bazooka]] breaks character during the threat video to ask if he should be evil and to order a [[melonade]].
**Coach Z breaks character to say that the resolution to the kidnapping case was dumb.
**Strong Bad never actually tells Senor Cardgage that he is in a movie or gives him a script, and then pretends that what Senor Cardgage is saying is coherent to the movie.
**Strong Bad tells the King of Town to be more emotional when crying over losing the architectural plans to Dangeresque.
**Strong Bad breaks out in laughter when he is supposed to threaten a [[cross-dressing]] [[The Poopsmith|Poopsmith]].
**Senor Cardgage walks away when he is supposed to be [[Death|dead]].
**Marzipan is seen walking away after "jumping out of a helicopter."
**Homestar has trouble trying to determine where to put emphasis in the statement "Come and get him!"
**When Strong Sad plays the Irish [[The Informant|informant]], he throws in an irrelevant quote from ''Dangeresque 1: Dangeresque, Too?'' because he hasn't gotten the latest script update.
**Marzipan accidentally calls Strong Bad by his real name instead of his character's name.
**In his final scene, the King of Town breaks character and walks off, telling the crew to call his agent if they need him.
**[[The Cheat]] hesitates to say his own character's name ([[Craig]]), although this may be for dramatic effect.
*[[Coach Z's 110%]] — For the duration of the commercial, Coach Z speaks in a "more toned-down voice" than usual, thus sounding very static and detached.
**Strong Bad pauses awkwardly during his prerecorded endorsement, and says his line with little enthusiasm.
**In one scene, Homestar acts exhausted and out of breath after a sports game, before suddenly switching to a more enthusiastic manner to advertise the video.
*[[A Death-Defying Decemberween]] — Homestar, Coach Z and Bubs make a cheaply made holiday special in a [[holiday-themed set]].
**In addition to the badly-made set and canned laughter, the characters speak in overstressed voices, making them sound fake, and Homestar and Bubs laugh unenthusiastically.
**Coach Z and Bubs can be seen throwing the "snow" outside the window and Coach Z's arm appears in the shot as he pulls away the cup of Hot Jones.
*[[Sbemailiarized!]] — Strong Bad's acting in the Sbemailiarized toons is very forced, particularly during the first example shown.
*Email [[hremail3184]] — While waiting for Strong Sad's [[wikipedia:Pop-Tart|Pop-Tart]] to [[Explosions|explode]], Strong Bad pretends to eat [[cereal]] from a bowl (empty, no less) and describes the "cereal" as "sooooo cerealy".
*Email [[independent]] — Homestar Runner is referred to as a washed-up actor and acts very stilted and dispassionate in [[because, as it were|Strong Sad's film]].
*[[Poker Night at the Inventory]] — Strong Bad and [[Sam & Max|Max]] attempt to do a plug for [[Telltale Games]]'s store, with Strong Bad speaking in the usual monotone and with Max forgetting his line and reading the punctuation in the URL out loud.
*[[Squintmojis]] — Homestar tiredly mumbles his [[Squintmoji Character Variations|Squintmoji]] testimonial.
*[[Decemberween Dangeresque]] — Homestar Runner as [[Stingy Relenque]] breaks character to insist that his lines are totally [[French]]. He also adds lines such as "I'm still falling!" and "I can't believe I bounced!" in reference to his figurine stunt double.
*[[Trogdor!! The Board Game (video)|Trogdor!! The Board Game Video]] — Strong Bad and Homestar Runner act out a game of [[Trogdor!! The Board Game]] in a flat monotone.
*[[Stack 'Em to the Heavens!]] — Strong Bad and Homestar again play the toon's titular game in flat, bored voices.

==See Also==
*[[Dangeresque (film series)]]
*[[Powered by The Cheat]]
*[[Blatant Lies]]

[[Category:Activity running gags]]

Halfathlon

2020-07-18T04:32:31Z

President Cold One:

[[Image:Halfathlon in Mainframe.png|thumb|The game's portal.]]

'''The Videlectrix Halfathlon''' is a game by [[Videlectrix]]. In the fifth [[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]] episode, [[8-Bit is Enough]], [[Strong Bad]] can go into the game via the [[Videlectrix Mainframe]]. Strong Bad describes it as "pretty [[Swears|half-athed]], all right."

The box art features the [[Videlectrix Mascot]] and claims it features Semi-Legendary [[Russia|Soviet]] Semi-Athlete Putchnya Shotski.

Inside the game, there is a track, complete with a lava pool, an icy field with penguins, a Checkpoint, and a trophy. By the track are [[Coach Z]], who is being attacked by scorpions, and [[Strong Mad]], who thinks he is the [[Wikipedia:Shot put|shot put]] star Putchnya Shotski.

According to Coach Z, to win the Halfathlon, you have to activate the first checkpoint, swing over the lava pit, navigate the chicane through the angry scorpions (which will attack you if you're carrying scorpion food), get through the arctic blasts and killer penguins, and pick up the trophy. Then return to the checkpoint with the trophy, and you win. If you (presumably) fall into the lava pit or get stung by the scorpions, you will respawn at the checkpoint, and you'll have to try again.

{{stub}}
{{SBCG4AP}}
{{VidelectrixGames}}

[[Category:Videlectrix Games]]

Homestar Ruiner Responses (House of Strong)

2020-07-17T05:31:13Z

President Cold One: /* The Cheat */

[[Image:Homestar Ruiner Techno.PNG|thumb|"Ahh, I sometimes get tired of that."]]
[[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]] has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from [[House of the Brothers Strong|House of Strong]] in [[Homestar Ruiner]].

{{SBCG4AP Responses notation legend}}

== Game Introduction ==
:''{over the course of singing the song, Strong Bad walks through the house, starting asleep on the couch in the basement, and finishing upstairs sitting in front of the Lappy in the computer room}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Rhino... Rhino Feeder...''{vigorous head shaking noise}'' wuh oh! I was dreaming about... muffins.

:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{half singing}'' I wake up every morning feeling awesome. Even though I slept on the remote again last night— ow! ''{kicks The Cheat into the dryer}''

:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Time to tear up another day, the Strong Bad freakin' way!

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Like an imploding star, like a burning car, my style shines so bright!

:''{high fives Strong Mad}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' Please, stop trying, to handle my style. 'Cause you can't, no you can't, ''{grunts}'' handle my style.

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Seriously, quit trying to handle my style. Unless you're a lady... ''{Throws box of cereal at Strong Sad}''

:'''STRONG SAD:''' Oh!

:'''STRONG BAD:''' ...Then you're cordially invited to have a giant slice of my styyyyyle!

:''{[[Strong Bad Email|Strong Bad checks his email]]}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm gonna check my email, my email, my email! I'm gonna check my whaaaat?

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Beat Homestar?</div>
Dear Strong Bad, I've got a question: If you hate Homestar 
so much, why dont you just beat the snot out of him? Are 
you chicken or something? 
Confused, 
Eddie M., Frenchtown, CA.
</blockquote>
:''{reads "dont" as spelled, reads confused as "Con-fussed"''}

:'''STRONG BAD''': ''{typing}'' First of all, I don't think a Frenchy like yourself is in any position to be calling anyone "chicken", ''{with a heavy french accent}'' comprende-vous cordon bleu? ''{clears screen, talking normally}'' Secondly, I'm pretty sure I don't want to beat the ''snot'' out of Homestar... I mean, have you ever listened to the guy? He's ''obviously'' got a LOT of gunk up there. I could handle beating tar, the stuffing, or the ''{holds the 'e', but not typed}'' into next week out of him though. ''{steps back from the Lappy}'' I bet I could find Homestar down at Coach Z's Track, running in place or something.

==Basement==

===Couch===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Keep on keepin' my butt print warm for me couch.

===Trogdor Arcade Game===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I can't play Trogdor until '''someone''' gets off their pasty white butt and fixes the joystick.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{muffled}'' I'm workin' on it! But the parts are on back order!

===Television===
:'''Before Homestar's arrival'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, it's that infomercial for the Ab-Abber 2000. It claims you can get a 9-pack in less than 40 scribbles a day!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey! It's the Laugh Trackalicious Adventures of Guy and Girlfriend! Oh, this is the one where Guy thinks he kills Girlfriend's hamster and tries to replace it with another hamster but the first hamster had been dead all along so Girlfriend thinks it came back to life and then the hilarity— and the humor— and the original comedy television writing!
:'''When Homestar is present'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Time for a few hours of retina frying entertainment!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Don't touch that dial!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Why not?
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Look!
::'''TELEVISION ANNOUNCER:''' Have you seen this, um, man? He was last seen streaking out of Coach Z's locker room, naked as the day he was born.
::'''COACH Z:''' ''{on television}'' It all happened so fast... one minute I was definitely not just standing around by myself, and the next thing I knew there was this high-pitched scream!
::'''KING OF TOWN:''' ''{on television}'' Of course I screamed. Who wouldn't scream at the sight of all that pruny, shower-fresh flesh barreling right towards your moustache!
::'''TELEVISION ANNOUNCER:''' The King of Town has issued an all-points bulletin for the mysterious nudenik, and sealed the negatives of this incriminating security photo in his castle's Hall of Records for further study.
::'''KING OF TOWN:''' Studying is fun!
::'''TELEVISION ANNOUNCER:''' In the meantime— ''{Homestar and Strong Bad talk over him}'' if you happen to come across this lewd, nude dude, do not, we repeat, do not approach him, as he may be armed and dangerous. Okay. Maybe not armed.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' See? I'll never be able to show my face in public as long as I've got a criminal record at the King of Town's Hall of Records!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Actually, I don't think it's your face you should be worried about showing.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, you mean my feet? Yeah, they are pretty big.
::{{short hr}}
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Don't change the channel! I'm tracking the progress of my very own personal pan-nationwide manhunt!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' More like nationwide '''''GET OFF MY COUCH!'''''
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, no.
:'''After Homestar has left the couch, but still inhabits the house elsewhere'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' There's nothing I'd rather do than max and relax in front of the TV... but I'll ''never'' be able to enjoy it as long as Homestar's still moping around my house like a wussier version of Strong Sad.
::'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{from upstairs}'' I heard that!
:'''During Party'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I'll never be able to get back to watching scrambled premium cable until I get these annoying party people out of here.

===Homestar Runner===
==== Criminal Record → Homestar ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, take a look at this!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What is it?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's the one and only copy of your criminal record, stolen by awesome Strong Bad out from under the King of Town's butter stained nose.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I don't believe it! Awesome Strong Bad could never pull that off!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' If you don't believe me, then believe the all-knowing wisdom of local television news! ''{turns to watch the television}''
:'''NEWS ANCHOR:''' —cats wearing clown costumes really ''do'' make a difference. Thanks for that important story, Mindi. In other news, citizens were shocked today when the King of Town's Hall of Records was brazenly burglarized by an unknown masked assailant.
:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{on television}'' He took everything! Everything! Cleaned the place out!
:'''NEWS ANCHOR:''' Without the criminal records, the King admits that he has no institutional memory of any crimes being committed... anywhere... ever.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yay! I'm free to show my face in in public again! And maybe the rest of me too!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You nasty. ''{Homestar leaves}'' Finally, the TV belongs to its one true master again!

====Homestar → Television====
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Can we watch something a little less... yokel than local news?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No way, man! I need to keep up-to-date on all the details of my scandalous downfall and nationwide manhunt!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Dude, it's a public nudity charge. I've done more scandalous things while buying a pair of brown and tan socks.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Look, there I am again! Oh the shame!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' So, just to be sure, there's no way I'm gonna talk you off of this couch, right?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Not until I'm no longer a wanted criminal.

== Computer Room ==
=== Floppy Disks ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's where I keep disks one through twenty four of all my favorite games.
=== No Loafing Sign ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I put up that sign, but the stupid walls are still loafing all the time.
=== Stooly ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, my trusty steed. Stooly, I'd ride you into email battle any day.
=== Calendar ===
:'''Before visiting the Track'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Today's the day I finally give Homestar his long overdue pummeling.
:'''After visiting the Track for the first time'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Today's the day I finally give Homestar his long overdue pummelling... in that Race to the End of the Race thing.
:'''After Homestar starts moping around'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Today's the day I finally get Homestar outta' my freakin' house!
:'''During the party'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Today's the day I get this stupid party outta' my house so I can finally finish checkin' my e-mail!

=== Light Switch ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Strong Bad turns the lights off, and then back on}'' Intriguing.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Strong Bad turns the lights off, and then back on}'' Not so intruguing.

=== Rave Switch ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{first time only}'' Check this out!
:''{Camera zooms in and out, light effects and sound clip from [[techno]] play}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ahhh, I sometimes get tired of that.
:{{short hr}}
:''{Strong Bad plays another [[techno]] rave}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, I'm definitely tired of that.

=== Plug ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I can't unplug the Lappy. It takes five to seven business days to fully charge the battery. Lappy don't charge on weekends.

==Homestar Runner==
:'''In any of the three rooms Homestar inhabits'''
===Homestar → Homestar===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, Homestar, it's time for you to go. There's no room in the House of Strong for crybabies.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What about Strong Sad?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I'm not a crybaby, I'm tormented!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Okay, there's room for ''one'' crybaby in the House of Strong, and that position's been filled. Out you go!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No way. I'm not leaving until my life is back to the wonderful way it used to be.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Guess what, Homestar! Everything's all better again!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Prove it.
=== When all Homestars have left the building ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, do you hear that? That, my hot ladies, was the sweet sound of Homestar's tuchus being surgically removed from my house. Ya hear that, house? It's just you and me.
:''{clock wipe to computer room, Strong Bad is sitting at the Lappy}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' So there you have it, Monsieur Manure: the video ga—
:'''PARTY GOERS:''' Surprise!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What the—?
:''{cut to downstairs, pan across to kitchen showing Marzipan, Homestar, Coach Z, Bubs and The King of Town}''
:'''PARTY GOERS:''' Whoopie! ''{singing, out of sync and tune with each other}'' For he's a jolly good fellow, which nobody can deny!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{coming downstairs}'' I'll deny you oxygen to your lungs if you don't get outta here!
===When Strong Bad walks near===
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh the pain...
:{{short hr}}
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Does despair have one ''G'', or two?
:{{short hr}}
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh hi Strong Bad... ''{sighs}''
:{{short hr}}
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{sighs}''

==Kitchen==

=== Banana Peel ===
:'''When the King of Town is eating'''
::''{Strong Bad attempts to pick up the peel, but the King of Town blocks him}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey!
::'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{burp}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Nevermind.
:'''During the Conga line'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Sweet, a banana peel! The King of Town must have been pretty desperate to eat something as healthy as this.

=== Bubs ===
==== Bubs → Bubs ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Wait a minute, if you're here, who's minding the concession stand?
:'''BUBS:''' Oh, I got that covered.
:''{cut to the Concession Stand. The Poopsmith is behind the counter.}''
:'''THE POOPSMITH:''' ''{holds up a sign reading ''Half off all Whatsit!''}''
:''{Strong Bad shakes his head}''
==== Bubs → Music ====
:'''While ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years'' is playing'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Why aren't you out there mope-dancing?
::'''BUBS:''' I'm just too naturally Bubsly to dance like that.
:'''While ''Coach Z's demo'' is playing'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey—
::'''BUBS:''' Can't talk now, everybaddy! I'm doin' the broken robot! ''{robotically}'' Malfunction! Vort! Vort! Vort! Vort!
:'''While ''Jane's Austentacious Chamber Music Jam'' is playing '''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Why aren't you out there cutting a 19th century rug?
::'''BUBS:''' I would, but Coach Z's the only one who's asked me to dance, and he's a big ''green'' job!
::'''COACH Z:''' ''{Calling out to Bubs}'' Yoo-hoo!

==== Bubs → Party ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What are you doing here, Bubs? You ''hate'' Marzipan's parties!
:'''BUBS:''' Yeah, but I love the stuff in ''your'' fridge!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Bubs, I love ya like a distant cousin-in-law, but ''you've got to get out of here''!
:'''BUBS:''' No way, man! I'm just gettin' warmed up!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' '''''Get out!'''''
:'''BUBS:''' Mmmmm... nope.

=== Chef's Hat ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Now that I've gotten rid of Homestar, I can finally put this awesome chef's hat in my photo booth wardrobe.

===Dead Plant===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This is Charlemagne, Strong Sad's plant. It used to be healthy, but after Strong Sad started talking to it, it decided to kill itself!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' That's not true!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's not what the note said!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's Strong Sad's suicidal plant.

===Dishes===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'll do the dishes once our skeet shooty flinger gets fixed.

===Fridge===
:'''Before Party'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hit me witcha best food shot, fridge o' mine! ''{opens fridge}'' The only thing in here is some paleolithic Fluffy Puff Mayonnaise. Looks like someFATbody needs to go to the store.
::'''STRONG SAD:''' It was my turn last time!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Eww, that mayonnaise is so ancient, its expiration date is chiseled on a stone tablet.
:'''Only while Homestar is in the kitchen'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What happened to all the food?
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What food? The fridge was empty when I got here!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh. Yeah.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You know, you plan on staying here, you'll have to take your turn stocking the fridge.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No problem, old chum! Whose turn is it now?
::'''STRONG SAD:''' Strong Bad's!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You shut up!

:'''During Party'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Peanut Extract Cola, Eggplant Fritters, Frozen Double Vegan Sundaes... Yeah, this is a Marziparty all right.

:'''In Extended Play'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I think they say that once it turns a light grey, it's safe to eat again.
=== Fruit & Veggies Pizza ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Normally, I'd be pouncing on these pizzas like The Cheat on a wounded Twinkie, but I draw the line at veggie pizzas. Especially veggie pizzas with olives and extra King of Town slobber.

===Homestar Runner===

=== Candy → Homestar ===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey mopedog!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Have some candy!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Ewww, packing peanuts! That sounds like something Marzipan would like! ''{sighs}'' Marzipan...
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Great, now he's sighing.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sure you don't want any of this (and I use the term loosely) candy?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{sadly}'' No, the smell of organic packing peanuts reminds me of... Marzipan... wah-huh-hah!

=== Cell Phone → Homestar ===
:'''Before giving the candy to Marzipan'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm not giving up this object of enormous pranking potential until it's absolutely necessary.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Not yet, my pretty.
:'''After having successfully left the Candy for Marzipan'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey Homestar! Look who found your cell phone!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What would I want with a phone? It's not like anyone will ever call me again.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Anyone? Not even ''{dials voicemail}'' Marzipan?
::'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{recording on phone}'' Homestar? It's Marzipan. I want you to know that while I'm still a little bit sore ''{Homestar saddens more}'' that you burned down most of my backyard, I've accepted your chocolate apology, ''{Homestar brightens}'' and am prepared to be your girlfriend again. Good bye!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' The candy worked? Hooray! Waitaminute... when did I give her candy?
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You don't remember? You sent me over to her house a few hours ago with a big box of chocolate-covered organic packing peanuts.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh yeah, that ''sounds'' like something I'd do. So what am I doing in your kitchen now with all this cooking stuff?
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Beats the crap outta me.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Well, I'll just go then.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Yes please. ''{Homestar leaves}'' At last, the kitchen and all its four year old condiments are mine again! Bwah-hah-ha-haaa!

==== Homestar → Chef's Hat ====
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What's with all the cooking?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' The Cheat told me that the way to a woman's heart is through her stomach, so I'm endeavoring to prepare a scrumptious confection to win back Marzipan's a-love.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sounds like a plan. How's it going?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Not so good. Marzipan's vegan and most of the food in here contains meat, milk, milky meat, or ...meaty milk?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, don't be dissin' my meaty milk!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Any closer to finishing off that make-up candy for Marzipan?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No. I'm starting to think it's all hopeless.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, maybe Dr. Strong Bad can write a prescription to cure Homestar's broken heart. A candy prescription. For Marzipan. To eat.

=== Jela-ton™ ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey now, what's this? ''{Strong Bad takes and reads note from crate}''
:'''COACH Z:''' ''{voiceover}'' Dear Homestar, even though you thoroughly disgraced yourself at the Race to the End of the Race, rules are rules. Please enjoy this lifetime supply of Fluffy-Puff Jela-Ton™, the official second place prize of the F-C-U-T-R-E-R. Yours truly, Coach Z. PS Never show your giant face around my track ever again!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm. Homestar'll probably feel a lot better if I get rid of this unpleasant reminder of his humiliating defeat. I know ''I'll'' feel a lot better — I ''love'' Jela-Ton.

=== The King of Town ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey!
:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{eating noises}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' He's even more ravenous than usual, almost like he's spent the last few hours in a deep dark hole... or something.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey there!
:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{eating noises}''

===Microwave===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I cant use the WavyMic, its door's stuck shut with nacho entrails and mangled action figures.

===Outside===
:'''During the party only. The same response is received if attempting to leave the area via the map.'''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' No way, man. I'm not going anywhere until I've kicked everyone whose name doesn't begin with "Strong" out of my house! Except The Cheat. I'm just gonna kick him.

==Laundry Room==

===Washer and Dryer===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Only Strong Sad seems to know the secrets to these mysterious mechanical devices.
'''Dryer only, when The Cheat is inside'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' How you doing in there, The Cheat?
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Me-mehr mimimi me mehr mer, me meh! 
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey! Do you kiss your hot mom with that mouth?!?

===The Cheat===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey! Look at that thing, over there.
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Mehr me meh me? 
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Holy pixelated Trogdor, what's that?
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Me mihr? 
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, turn around.
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Wii? 
:{{short hr}}
:''{Regardless of what is said above, Strong Bad kicks The Cheat into the dryer}''

===Pennants===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Those are pennants from various academic institutions, unaccredited and discredited alike.

==Living Room==

=== Banana Peel → Conga Line ===
:'''While the Luxa Louger is up, and the Conga line is moving towards the left'''
::''{Strong Bad places the banana peel in the living room}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You know, this is a really dangerous idea. Someone could trip on this poorly-placed banana peel and go flying right out the window. Yup, sure is dangeous...
::''{each steps on the banana peel in turn, not slipping}''
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Whoops!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Whooo!
::'''BUBS:''' Heeey!
::'''COACH Z:''' Yorp!
::'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' Yip! ''{inadvertantly flings the banana peel, which lands on Strong Bad}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Arrg!

:'''While the Conga line is to the right'''
::''{Strong Bad places the banana peel in the kitchen}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh my, I've dropped my banana peeeeel! I hope no one slips on it!
::''{each steps on the banana peel in turn, not slipping}''
::'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' Yip!
::'''COACH Z:''' Yorp!
::'''BUBS:''' Heeey!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Whooo!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Whoops! ''{inadvertantly flings the banana peel, which lands on Strong Bad}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Arrg!

:'''While Luxa Lounger is down, and the Conga line is moving towards the window'''
::''{Strong Bad places the banana peel in front of the window}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I love the way I think!
::''{each slips on the banana peel in turn at falls out the window}''
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Whoa!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Wh-Whoa!
::'''BUBS:''' Hey— awesome!
::'''COACH Z:''' What the-?! I regret everything!
::'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' Oh, look! A banana! Peeeel!
::''{The King makes a heavier thud than the others when they fall. All are heard groaning}''
::''{Strong Bad turns off the See Dee Spinner}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' That's what happens when you mess with General Flexmypecs! Tha—That's me. I sometimes call myself General William Flexmypecs. Now maybe I can get some freakin' piece of quiet around here...
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{off-screen}'' Ow, my snot!
::''{cut to the epilogue}''

=== Coach Z ===
:'''While ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years'' is playing'''
::'''COACH Z:''' This music really captures the dark empty abyss in my soul!
:'''While ''Coach Z's demo'' is playing'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey—
::'''COACH Z:''' Hey, ho! One, two three. I got this party mad jumpin' cuz I'm Coach Z!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Stop it.
::'''COACH Z:''' Stop it, drop it, don't try it till ya knock it! Coach Z shock like an electrical socket!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' This is getting me nowhere.
::'''COACH Z:''' Nowhere to run, nowhere to walk. I'm gonna draw you up a play with my locker-room chalk.
:'''While ''Jane's Austentacious Chamber Music Jam'' is playing '''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Why aren't you dancing?
::'''COACH Z:''' I would, but that rascal Bubs won't do me the honor! ''{Calling out to Bubs}'' Yoo-hoo!
::'''BUBS:''' ''{annoyed}'' Shut up, dummy!

==== Coach Z → Coach Z → Angel ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You're looking particularly oblivious tonight, Coach.
:'''COACH Z:''' Why thank you there, Strong Bad. Nothing like a praty with lots of free roughage to perk a guy up!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I hear the Swedes were really happy with the way you ran the Race to the End of the blahblahblah
:'''COACH Z:''' Really?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh yeah. I heard them on the TV saying "vimsky vomsky dimalaya libomski, bork bork bork!" ... Or something like that.
:'''COACH Z:''' That's just super!

==== Coach Z → Coach Z → Devil====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm sorry to hear that "Homestar" took the race trophy from you.
:'''COACH Z:''' Oh, that's okay there, Brong Strad. You know what they say, "Records were meant to be broken into little bitty pieces."
:'''STRONG BAD:''' But still, to have your one shining moment of glory so unceremoniously choke-slammed into the trash can of history by such a well-known loser like Homestar?
:'''COACH Z:''' ''{Uncertain}'' No really, it's okay... ''{sighs}''
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, you may not be the Race to the End of the Race Champion any more, but you've still got your creepy health, right?
:'''COACH Z:''' Yeah, I guess.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, what's that?
:'''COACH Z:''' What?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That giant mole on your...
:'''COACH Z:''' Where? Where?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, I'm sure it's nothing.
:'''COACH Z:''' ''{sighs}''

==== Coach Z → Party ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What do you think you're doing here?
:'''COACH Z:''' Thanks for throwing this praty! I love praties!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'll put this in shouts of one syllable: ''GET OUT OF MY HOUSE''!
:'''COACH Z:''' No thanks, SB. I need a hootenanny like this to pick me up after the awful way Pom Pom broke my heart with all his cheatin' and chortin' 'n' nonchalant cavortin'.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I hate you. Leave.
:'''COACH Z:''' Nope.

=== Conga Line ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey—
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Whoo hoo!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Choo choo!

=== Marzipan & Homestar ===
:'''If wearing Homestar disguise'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, hewwo, Marzipan.
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Hello Strong Bad.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What? How did you know it was me?!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Well, you nearly had me fooled, but then I remembered that the real Homestar is standing right next to me!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, he is!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hewwo, evewybody!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Why hello, Homestar...
::'''MARZIPAN:''' You're not fooling anyone, Strong Bad.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, Homestar.

:'''While ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years'' is playing, both speak slowly and sadly'''
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I'm too depressed to talk...
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, me too. I just can't stop gazing at my shoes.
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I wish my hair was black.

:'''While ''Coach Z's demo'' is playing'''
::'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{crossly}'' Hip-hop objectifies women.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{breakdancing}'' Word.

:'''While ''Jane's Austentacious Chamber Music Jam'' is playing '''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey—
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I do believe that dreary Mr. Bad is attempting to interrupt our dance, Mr. Homestar.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I should say, what an appalling breach of common civility.
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I concur.

==== Marzipan & Homestar → Party ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I thought the Homestar Victory Party supposed to be in your backyard?
:'''MARZIPAN:''' It was, but then some not-very-nice person torched most of my very nice decorations.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Booooo!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh yeah. Sorry 'bout that. It was for the greater good. The greatest good, in fact. You know, mine.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What would it take to get you to move this dorkfest someplace that isn't my house?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Twenty-three dollars.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' We're not going anywhere until we've sufficiently busted moves and/or grooves!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, that's not good. It usually takes Marzipan at least eight hours to fully bust moves, and as for Homestar...
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Shake it loose, shake it tight, gimme the juice, it's Saturday night!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' He's busting something, all right. Or maybe he's just plain busted.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' '''''GET OUT!'''''
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No way, man. I gotta keep shakin' this here thang.
==== Marzipan & Homestar → Trophy ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You know, Homestar didn't ''really'' win the ''{fanfare}'' Race to the End of the Race.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I didn't?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No! It was me, in a totally-not-the-head-from-Marzipan's-float Homestar mask!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Bwhaa-ha-ha-ha.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Hee hee hee!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, that's rich, Strong Bad.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No, really! It was me all along!
:'''MARZIPAN:''' The joke's wearing a little thin, Strong Bad.

===Melonade===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You've gotta see it when Strong Mad shotguns one of these things.
:'''During the party'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Mad's gonna be seriously miffed off when he finds out they've tapped his melonade keg!

===See Dee Spinner===
:'''Before party'''
::''{Ordinary background music playing}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Let's see what's in the ol' See Dee Spinner. ''{changes music}'' Uh. It's Strong Sad's copy of ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years.''
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{changes music}'' Sounds like Coach Z has forced another one of his demos unto the world.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I've had just about enough of that. Let's see what else is in there— ''{changes music}'' Oh joy, it's that copy of ''Jane's Austentacious Chamber Music Jam.'' I'd like to use this CD as a chamber ''pot''.
::'''STRONG MAD:''' MISTER DARCY!!! ''{sniff}''
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{changes music}'' Whoa, what's this? The Cheat's Assorted Latin Rhythms?
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Enough with the music already! ''{changes back to original music}''
:'''During Party, when switching to ''The Cheat's Assorted Latin Rhythms''.'''
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' All right! Conga line everybody! Adoot-doot-doot doot-doot doo-''doo''!
::''{The party goers form a conga line}''

===Smoke Detector===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That smoke detector hasn't had a battery since that day I made Strong Sad eat a 9-volt Po'Boy.

===Window===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sometimes I like to stand in front of my window and start flexing in case a girls' volleyball team is walking by.
:''Second time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I know it's hard to tell from this angle, but the view from here is awesome!
:''Each time thereafter''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You wouldn't think, since we're on the first floor and everything, but the drop-off from this window's like, 20 feet or something.

===Luxa Lounger===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{reclines chair}'' The Luxa Lounger is even more comfortable in its "Ridiculously Overextended" mode.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{unreclines chair}'' The Luxa Lounger is great lounging-based needs, but man does it take up a lot of real estate!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{reclines chair}'' Luxa Lounger Powers, activate!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{unreclines chair}'' Doodle-oot!

[[Image:Horse-plaque.png|thumb|135px|The loneliest goat sees the last sunset last...]]

===Plaque (horse)===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{reading plaque}'' "The loneliest goat sees the last sunset last" — that's a horse.

===Plaque (dog)===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{reading plaque}'' "The Cheat, watch your freakin' back, Squeaky!" Man that's one intimidating hushpuppy.

==Outside==
===Mail Box===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Checkin' my snail mail, checkin' my snail mail! Hmmm, what's this? ''{finds a ski cap}'' I'm ready for the big heist! Those smoky red laser beams don't stand a chance when I'm in this get up!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, I think I'll put it in my fancy schmancy transdimensional photo-booth wardrobe.
:'''After being emptied'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' It's empty now. On account of all the emptyin' I did earlier.
===Pile of Dirt===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh nophers, we've got gophers.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{pops out of the bushes}'' Actually, true gopher holes are more elliptical in nature, and—
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, it's gophers...
:'''STRONG SAD:''' (Sigh)... ''{leaves scene}''
===Treasure Marker===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, there's buried treasure just outside my front door! I hope it's a bubblin' crude.
====Shovel → Treasure Marker====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, front yard, hit me with your best shot! ''{digs}'' What the—!? ''{finds a page of the Snake Boxer 5 manual}''

== Strong Bad Emails ==
===When sitting down===
:'''If Strong Bad is wearing the Homestar Runner costume'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{taking off Homestar suit}'' I don't think I should wear my Homestar costume here. It's too confining and um, clumsy.

:''During game intro only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' I'm gonna check my email, my email, my email. I'm gonna check my whaat?
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm just over here checkin' my e-mail, and your breath smells really bad...
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' When Strong Bad checks his e-mail, a cute fish dies.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' Gimme the e-mails, Lappy. Shamalama dingalama domalama damow...
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm checkin' e-mails from Awesome to Zawesome!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I kick you in the head with my e-mail boot!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{rapping}'' Don't brag and boast, just spread a little email all on your toast!

=== When deleting emails ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Survey Says! — Deleted.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Dee! Lee! Ted!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' El Deleto Grande!

:''{After each of these, the deleted sound plays, showing a red DELETED! screen which has the Female Lappy with devil horns.}''

=== When undeleting emails ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deteled! That's... deleted backwards.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted no more!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Delete, meet un!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Undeleted!

:''{After each of these, the deleted sound plays backwards, showing a cyan UNDELETED! screen.}''

=== Email 1: Beat Homestar? ===
:''Email only appears in game intro. See [[#Game Introduction|Game Introduction]].''

=== Email 2: Pummelling? ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Pummelling?</div>
Dear Strong Bad: Is it true that you're going to be 
beating the snot out of Homestar soon? Because I'd 
like a piece of that action. Taking the under over, 
Dan O'Meara, County Cork, Ireland.
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad pronounces the last name "Oooh Meeeera", and says "Country Crock" instead of "County Cork"}''
:{{short hr}}
:'''When checking the email a second time'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh yeah, beating the snot out of Homestar. I should probably get back to that someday.

=== Email 3: Got Bulk? ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Got Bulk?</div>
Dear Mr. Strang L. Bod, Are you feeling athletically 
inadequate? Is your six-pack more of a pony keg? Do your 
muscles have less definition than a first grader's dictionary? 
Then why not get on the Adonis train with a crate of TOTAL 
LOAD TOTAL BODY FITNESS ENERGY ENHANCEMENT 
POWDER!!! Totally Safe! Totally Organic!! Totally 
Awesome!!! Order a free sample of TOTAL LOAD TOTAL 
BODY FITNESS ENERGY ENHANCEMENT POWDER today, 
and begin to TOTALLY TRANSFORM your body today!!!!Limit 
one per customer.
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad reads his misspelled name as a question. After reading the product name the first time, he looks at the camera and says "Hey, this stuff sounds great!", and stops reading the email at that point}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing as he speaks}'' Dear Total Load Peoples, Although I personally am endowed with bulging biceps that have been described as "bad boys," "pipes," and "thunder bludgeons," it never hurts to get a heroically chiseled leg up on the competition. Please send me a free sample of your wonderful product immediately. Grape flavor. Yours truly, Strong Bad.
:{{short hr}}
:'''When checking the email a second time'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I probably can't get another free sample.

=== Email 4: Your Head ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Your Head</div>
Dear Mr. Bad, MY BROTHER AND I WERE WONDERING 
WHOSE HEAD IS BIGGER: yours or Homestar's? 
Quizzically, Jay and Jim Rosen, Brookyln, NY.
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad shouts the capitalized part}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, that's a good question. I should go do some field research.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm.

=== Email 5: Hey There! ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Hey There!</div>
Hey there, every peoples! If you're one of the many bodies 
watching the Race to the End of the Race today, why not 
top if off with a vist  to Bubs Concession Stand! We've got 
candy bars, lawn mowers, ketchup, Egyptian artifacts, and 
games for the kids! Look for our piles of coupons at the 
track, good for one box of awesome free candy while 
supplies last! Bubs Concession Stand - We've Got 
Everything, Twice!
</blockquote>
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Free, eh? I ''might'' be able to afford that...
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I never should've signed up for Bubs' Free Weekly Spamvertisements. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I never did.

=== Email 6: Tie-Things ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Tie-Things</div>
Hey Strtong Bad, 
What's the deal with the little tie-things on 
the backa your mask? 
-Christine B
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad pronounces "Strtong" as "Stir-tong"}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' More like Christine D+, as in you get one, in life! Y'know, I was gonna ask you something similar, Christine. What's the deal with that giant nose-thing on the ''front of your face?!''

=== Email 7: Total Load Confirmation ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Total Load Confirmation</div>
Dear Mr. Strang L Bod, THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST IN 
TOTAL LOAD TOTAL BODY ENERGY ENHANCING POWDER!!! 
A SAMPLE JAR OF TOTAL LOAD TOTAL BODY ENERGY 
ENHANCING POWDER HAS BEEN SENT FROM OUR CENTRAL 
WHEREHOUSE  TO OUR LOCAL DISTRIBUTOR - BUBS C. 
STAND. You will be notified by email when your totally 
awesome jar of TOTAL LOAD TOTAL BODY ENERGY 
ENHANCING POWDER arrives. Thanks you for your interest, 
TOTAL LOAD TOTAL etc., INC. 
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad stresses the incorrectly plural word "Thanks"}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Bubs distributes Total Load? Man, he carries everything!

=== Email 8: Total Load Arrival ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Total Load Arrival</div>
Dear Mr. Strang L. Bod, WE'RE PLEASED TO INFORM YOU 
THAT YOUR FREE SAMPLE SHIPMENT OF TOTAL LOAD 
TOTAL BODY ENERGY ENHANCING POWDER HAS ARRIVED  
FOUND ITS WAY TO OUT LOCAL DISTIRBUTOR  - BUBS C. 
STAND. And may be picked up at your convenience. Thanks 
again for your interest in TOTAL LOAD, TOTAL LOAD TOTAL 
Etc., Inc.
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad ignores the extraneous word "arrived" on the third line, as well as the misspelled word "distirbutor"; He says "etc." twice and adds "whatever" at the end of the email, but makes no further comments}''

==Strong Bad's Room==

===7 Track Player===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, the short lived 7 Track. Your lack of a play button was your undoing.

===Drawing Table===
:'''At the start of the game'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You know what I need to add some much-needed ''hooah!'' to my day? A little thing I like to call Teen Girl Squad!
::''{[[Homestar Ruiner Teen Girl Squad|Teen Girl Squad]] mini-game starts.}
::''{After the mini-game is finished}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, I can never get enough of that Sassy, Injury-Prone Teen Girl Squad! The only thing that could possibly make their adventures even more unfortunate would be if I used those Really Cool Teen Girl Ideas I jotted down last night after a fried chicken pizza bender—
::''{looks around the table}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, what happened to all my Really Cool Teen Girl Squad Ideas?

:'''When Homestar is blocking the table'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, Teen Girl Squad... which one of you wants to get trampled by stampeding Venus fly traps today?
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Get away! I'm pouring my crushed soul and grody guts into an epic 23-part comic 23-part comic zine graphic novel about a really cool guy who wins the Race to the End of the Race!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Can I see?
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' NO! NOT UNTIL I'M DONE!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' When will that be?
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Not until I've emptied out the contents of my tortured brains.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' So, what, five seconds ago?
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Done with your "fictional" story about a cool guy who wins the Race to the End of the Race yet?
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' NO!

:'''While Homestar is still in the house, but not standing at the table, or during the party'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I probably should get back to kicking Homestar out of the house, but I just can't resist that perky Teen Girl Squad!
::''{[[Homestar Ruiner Teen Girl Squad|Teen Girl Squad]] mini-game starts.}''

===Fun Machine===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Nothing like a little snake fisticuffs to clear the mind... ''{picks up controller}'' Ok, show me that logo! ''{singing}'' ''Do do dooo doo... DIII!'' Awesome, Snake Boxer 5! So much better than the unfortunate Snake Boxer 4: Lady Snake Parade.
:''{after the mini-game}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That was awesome! The only thing that could make Snake Boxer 5 even cooler is using that secret code to unlock the game's controversial ''hidden mode.'' It's a good thing I wrote down the code in the manual right— over— ''{looks around}'' Hey! who took my Snake Boxer 5 manual?
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Must. Punch. Snakes.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa! This game is already, like, 50 times cooler than Snake Boxer 2: The Biting of Boxer Joe!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Snake Boxer 5 really put the series back on track. Especially after Snake Boxer 3: Solving Problems through Diplomacy.

====Snake Boxer 5 Gameplay====
:'''Normal gameplay'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Eat my red blocky pom-poms!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Your Cobra Style is no match for the Way of the Drunken Five-Pixel Power Punch!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Here we go...
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Where's that hot girl that tells me what round it is? Oh, yeah. I see her. I think she's that box.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Come on! That's not fair!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Total knockoutitiude!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Take that!
:{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' No way!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oooh! Right in the face!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' This game sucks!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I did not just get beat by a stupid snake... unless it was on of those two-headed freak show snakes. Then it's an honor.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Ka-pow!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Body Punch!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Taste my glove, snakey!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Everybody knows the game cheats.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh man....
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You're going down, snakes!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' No one boxes snakes better than me!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Upper blow!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, I'm pretty much the coolest.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, that was hard!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Quit biting me, snake!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' This screen isn't big enough for the two of us.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Ring the bell! Ring the Bell!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What? I did not just get snake boxed!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What? Oh, that so cheated!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ...And Strong Bad steps into the ring! ''{makes crowd noises}''
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' And the snake goes down!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Stupid Snake!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I've been bited!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, my hand slipped off the controller!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You only got me cause my eyebrows were blocking my view!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' DING DING!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Snakes, gert ready for the pummeling!

:'''While using the secret code'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' That is some sweet low-res fire breath!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Catch fire, snake! ''{makes fwoosh noise}''
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' BURNINATE!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, snake fire! Awesome!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I am the boxy serpent of doom!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Float like a green snake, sting like a light green snake!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Your Marquee de Queensbury rules are no match for my Kill You Dead with Venom rules!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' The black border's great, because it lets you imagine a crowd cheering you on!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, if I had fangs like that, I'd finally get rid of my staple remover.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Taste my pixelated venom!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, I must be some kind of King Cobra, or Czar Cobra...or Genghis Cobra!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Stop trying to get to First Base with me!

=== Homestar → Teen Girl Squad ===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Put your hands up, and back away from the Teen Girl Squad, Homestar. We don't want this situation to escalate.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Not yet, Strong Bad. I've got to finish my 23-Volume Epic Graphic Novel Zine about a Really Cool Guy who wins the ''{fanfare}'' Race to the End of the Race, and slays a dragon, and starts dating a supermodel and makes his old boring girlfriend jealous, and—
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, yeah, I get it. How long will it be before I can use my drawing table again?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh it might be a while. I still haven't figured out what to call my Really Cool lead character.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Grr...
:{{short hr}}
:''Second time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Are you done with your moron opus yet?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I'm almost ready to start... what do you like better, "Goldstar Stunner" or "Dash Bigstar"?
:{{short hr}}
:''Each time thereafter''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Finish your comic already!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I'm trying, but the words keep coming out all misspelled and unintentionally humorous! Oh, if only I knew what it was like to be a winner!

===Homestar's comic===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Wow, Homestar's comic is really something... ''{cut to a view of Homestar's comic, which depicts a story titled "Run For Beans! (and more)"}'' something a blind cat might've thrown up after eating a blind rat.

===Messy Pile===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's possible that my bed's under there, but I'm not touching it to find out.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I sent some Sherpas in there a few weeks ago, but they haven't reported back.

===Metal Detector===

:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, the Taranchula Black Metal Detector! I had to sell, like, 500 magazine subscriptions to get this baby. But it was totally worth it to be able to shoot radioactive positrons into the Earth's crust in search of rusty pennies!

=== Trophy → Homestar ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{talking to camera}'' Hmm, this will require some stra''ter''gery...  ''{talking to Homestar}'' Hey, look at that, thing... over there.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' A thing? Where?! ''{looks around, Strong Bad hits him over the head with the trophy, he collapses}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, dumpwad, wake up!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{gets up}'' Who? What? Why? Oh, crap! I just had a wonderful dream where I won the Race to the End of the Race! ''{fanfare}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' But Homestar, it wasn't a dream, see? ''{gestures to trophy, now sitting on the table}'' You really did win the Race to the End of the Whatchamacallit!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I did? But how?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' How should I know? Maybe you were... sleep-running or something.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yesss... that makes perfect sense. Well, looks like my 23-part graphic novel can wait for another day. ''{leaves, with trophy}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Finally, I was thinking I'd never get to maim another badly drawn teen girl ever again!

===Videlectrix Poster===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's my Videlectrix Poster that I got for sending in ten bucks to become a member of the Videlectrix Good Graphicketeers!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' "Videlectrix — We Use Computers... to Make Video Games!" I don't know why no one else has thought of that...

=== When entering the room ===
:'''Only if Homestar is present'''
::''{music}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What? How? Huh? You were just—
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{sighs} (if in kitchen)'' Siiiiigh...

== Strong Sad's Room ==
=== Strong Sad's Door ===

:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey Strong Sad! You in there?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Yes!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' C'mon, lemme in! I just wanna punch you a few hundred times!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Not interested.
:''Second time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' C'mon Strong Sad, I've got your favorite food, some nasty ethnic food!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I don't believe in favoring one food over another.
:''Each time thereafter''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad Raymond Jenkins, you open this door right now or I'll— I'll— I'll—
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You'll what?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, we'll just wait until your father gets home and see what he says!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You're not even my real mom!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Fine. I didn't want to go in your purple room of doom and gloom anyway!

====Candy → Strong Sad's Door====

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad, if you open the door I'll give you a box of ChocoOpps.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You know I can't have peanuts!

==Game Epilogue==
::''{Cut to Strong Bad sitting at the Lappy, typing}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' So there you have it Monsieur Manure: the video game adaptation of how I finally beat the snot out of Homestar, in the most direct and least convoluted way. Man I'm awesome. Eat snail, Strong Bad.
::''{camera pulls back, Strong Bad turns around and stands up on Stooly}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{half singing}'' So you see people, that's why you can't, no you can't, uhn, handle my style, because it's hot, ''{jumps off Stooly, and lands on the washer (in the basement), hops down and walks to the couch}'' ''{very quickly}'' so please allow 10 to 15 minutes for it to properly cool before you try to handle my styyyyle! ''{lies down and closes his eyes, camera pans up and left, cutting through the wall and to the lappy. Ominous music is heard. The Municipality logo is seen on the Lappy's screen. Slow zoom in and fade}'' ''{Credit roll b/w dimmed out scene of Strong Bad sleeping on the couch}'' ''{Following credits, a preview for [[Strong_Badia the Free#Preview Transcript|Strong Badia the Free]] is seen before returning to the game menu}''
{{SBCG4AP}}

[[Category:Video Game Responses]]

Homestar Ruiner Responses (House of Strong)

2020-07-17T05:30:30Z

President Cold One: /* The Cheat */

[[Image:Homestar Ruiner Techno.PNG|thumb|"Ahh, I sometimes get tired of that."]]
[[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]] has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from [[House of the Brothers Strong|House of Strong]] in [[Homestar Ruiner]].

{{SBCG4AP Responses notation legend}}

== Game Introduction ==
:''{over the course of singing the song, Strong Bad walks through the house, starting asleep on the couch in the basement, and finishing upstairs sitting in front of the Lappy in the computer room}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Rhino... Rhino Feeder...''{vigorous head shaking noise}'' wuh oh! I was dreaming about... muffins.

:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{half singing}'' I wake up every morning feeling awesome. Even though I slept on the remote again last night— ow! ''{kicks The Cheat into the dryer}''

:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Time to tear up another day, the Strong Bad freakin' way!

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Like an imploding star, like a burning car, my style shines so bright!

:''{high fives Strong Mad}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' Please, stop trying, to handle my style. 'Cause you can't, no you can't, ''{grunts}'' handle my style.

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Seriously, quit trying to handle my style. Unless you're a lady... ''{Throws box of cereal at Strong Sad}''

:'''STRONG SAD:''' Oh!

:'''STRONG BAD:''' ...Then you're cordially invited to have a giant slice of my styyyyyle!

:''{[[Strong Bad Email|Strong Bad checks his email]]}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm gonna check my email, my email, my email! I'm gonna check my whaaaat?

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Beat Homestar?</div>
Dear Strong Bad, I've got a question: If you hate Homestar 
so much, why dont you just beat the snot out of him? Are 
you chicken or something? 
Confused, 
Eddie M., Frenchtown, CA.
</blockquote>
:''{reads "dont" as spelled, reads confused as "Con-fussed"''}

:'''STRONG BAD''': ''{typing}'' First of all, I don't think a Frenchy like yourself is in any position to be calling anyone "chicken", ''{with a heavy french accent}'' comprende-vous cordon bleu? ''{clears screen, talking normally}'' Secondly, I'm pretty sure I don't want to beat the ''snot'' out of Homestar... I mean, have you ever listened to the guy? He's ''obviously'' got a LOT of gunk up there. I could handle beating tar, the stuffing, or the ''{holds the 'e', but not typed}'' into next week out of him though. ''{steps back from the Lappy}'' I bet I could find Homestar down at Coach Z's Track, running in place or something.

==Basement==

===Couch===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Keep on keepin' my butt print warm for me couch.

===Trogdor Arcade Game===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I can't play Trogdor until '''someone''' gets off their pasty white butt and fixes the joystick.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{muffled}'' I'm workin' on it! But the parts are on back order!

===Television===
:'''Before Homestar's arrival'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, it's that infomercial for the Ab-Abber 2000. It claims you can get a 9-pack in less than 40 scribbles a day!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey! It's the Laugh Trackalicious Adventures of Guy and Girlfriend! Oh, this is the one where Guy thinks he kills Girlfriend's hamster and tries to replace it with another hamster but the first hamster had been dead all along so Girlfriend thinks it came back to life and then the hilarity— and the humor— and the original comedy television writing!
:'''When Homestar is present'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Time for a few hours of retina frying entertainment!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Don't touch that dial!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Why not?
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Look!
::'''TELEVISION ANNOUNCER:''' Have you seen this, um, man? He was last seen streaking out of Coach Z's locker room, naked as the day he was born.
::'''COACH Z:''' ''{on television}'' It all happened so fast... one minute I was definitely not just standing around by myself, and the next thing I knew there was this high-pitched scream!
::'''KING OF TOWN:''' ''{on television}'' Of course I screamed. Who wouldn't scream at the sight of all that pruny, shower-fresh flesh barreling right towards your moustache!
::'''TELEVISION ANNOUNCER:''' The King of Town has issued an all-points bulletin for the mysterious nudenik, and sealed the negatives of this incriminating security photo in his castle's Hall of Records for further study.
::'''KING OF TOWN:''' Studying is fun!
::'''TELEVISION ANNOUNCER:''' In the meantime— ''{Homestar and Strong Bad talk over him}'' if you happen to come across this lewd, nude dude, do not, we repeat, do not approach him, as he may be armed and dangerous. Okay. Maybe not armed.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' See? I'll never be able to show my face in public as long as I've got a criminal record at the King of Town's Hall of Records!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Actually, I don't think it's your face you should be worried about showing.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, you mean my feet? Yeah, they are pretty big.
::{{short hr}}
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Don't change the channel! I'm tracking the progress of my very own personal pan-nationwide manhunt!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' More like nationwide '''''GET OFF MY COUCH!'''''
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, no.
:'''After Homestar has left the couch, but still inhabits the house elsewhere'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' There's nothing I'd rather do than max and relax in front of the TV... but I'll ''never'' be able to enjoy it as long as Homestar's still moping around my house like a wussier version of Strong Sad.
::'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{from upstairs}'' I heard that!
:'''During Party'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I'll never be able to get back to watching scrambled premium cable until I get these annoying party people out of here.

===Homestar Runner===
==== Criminal Record → Homestar ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, take a look at this!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What is it?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's the one and only copy of your criminal record, stolen by awesome Strong Bad out from under the King of Town's butter stained nose.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I don't believe it! Awesome Strong Bad could never pull that off!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' If you don't believe me, then believe the all-knowing wisdom of local television news! ''{turns to watch the television}''
:'''NEWS ANCHOR:''' —cats wearing clown costumes really ''do'' make a difference. Thanks for that important story, Mindi. In other news, citizens were shocked today when the King of Town's Hall of Records was brazenly burglarized by an unknown masked assailant.
:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{on television}'' He took everything! Everything! Cleaned the place out!
:'''NEWS ANCHOR:''' Without the criminal records, the King admits that he has no institutional memory of any crimes being committed... anywhere... ever.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yay! I'm free to show my face in in public again! And maybe the rest of me too!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You nasty. ''{Homestar leaves}'' Finally, the TV belongs to its one true master again!

====Homestar → Television====
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Can we watch something a little less... yokel than local news?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No way, man! I need to keep up-to-date on all the details of my scandalous downfall and nationwide manhunt!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Dude, it's a public nudity charge. I've done more scandalous things while buying a pair of brown and tan socks.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Look, there I am again! Oh the shame!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' So, just to be sure, there's no way I'm gonna talk you off of this couch, right?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Not until I'm no longer a wanted criminal.

== Computer Room ==
=== Floppy Disks ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's where I keep disks one through twenty four of all my favorite games.
=== No Loafing Sign ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I put up that sign, but the stupid walls are still loafing all the time.
=== Stooly ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, my trusty steed. Stooly, I'd ride you into email battle any day.
=== Calendar ===
:'''Before visiting the Track'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Today's the day I finally give Homestar his long overdue pummeling.
:'''After visiting the Track for the first time'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Today's the day I finally give Homestar his long overdue pummelling... in that Race to the End of the Race thing.
:'''After Homestar starts moping around'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Today's the day I finally get Homestar outta' my freakin' house!
:'''During the party'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Today's the day I get this stupid party outta' my house so I can finally finish checkin' my e-mail!

=== Light Switch ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Strong Bad turns the lights off, and then back on}'' Intriguing.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Strong Bad turns the lights off, and then back on}'' Not so intruguing.

=== Rave Switch ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{first time only}'' Check this out!
:''{Camera zooms in and out, light effects and sound clip from [[techno]] play}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ahhh, I sometimes get tired of that.
:{{short hr}}
:''{Strong Bad plays another [[techno]] rave}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, I'm definitely tired of that.

=== Plug ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I can't unplug the Lappy. It takes five to seven business days to fully charge the battery. Lappy don't charge on weekends.

==Homestar Runner==
:'''In any of the three rooms Homestar inhabits'''
===Homestar → Homestar===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, Homestar, it's time for you to go. There's no room in the House of Strong for crybabies.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What about Strong Sad?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I'm not a crybaby, I'm tormented!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Okay, there's room for ''one'' crybaby in the House of Strong, and that position's been filled. Out you go!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No way. I'm not leaving until my life is back to the wonderful way it used to be.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Guess what, Homestar! Everything's all better again!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Prove it.
=== When all Homestars have left the building ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, do you hear that? That, my hot ladies, was the sweet sound of Homestar's tuchus being surgically removed from my house. Ya hear that, house? It's just you and me.
:''{clock wipe to computer room, Strong Bad is sitting at the Lappy}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' So there you have it, Monsieur Manure: the video ga—
:'''PARTY GOERS:''' Surprise!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What the—?
:''{cut to downstairs, pan across to kitchen showing Marzipan, Homestar, Coach Z, Bubs and The King of Town}''
:'''PARTY GOERS:''' Whoopie! ''{singing, out of sync and tune with each other}'' For he's a jolly good fellow, which nobody can deny!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{coming downstairs}'' I'll deny you oxygen to your lungs if you don't get outta here!
===When Strong Bad walks near===
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh the pain...
:{{short hr}}
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Does despair have one ''G'', or two?
:{{short hr}}
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh hi Strong Bad... ''{sighs}''
:{{short hr}}
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{sighs}''

==Kitchen==

=== Banana Peel ===
:'''When the King of Town is eating'''
::''{Strong Bad attempts to pick up the peel, but the King of Town blocks him}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey!
::'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{burp}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Nevermind.
:'''During the Conga line'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Sweet, a banana peel! The King of Town must have been pretty desperate to eat something as healthy as this.

=== Bubs ===
==== Bubs → Bubs ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Wait a minute, if you're here, who's minding the concession stand?
:'''BUBS:''' Oh, I got that covered.
:''{cut to the Concession Stand. The Poopsmith is behind the counter.}''
:'''THE POOPSMITH:''' ''{holds up a sign reading ''Half off all Whatsit!''}''
:''{Strong Bad shakes his head}''
==== Bubs → Music ====
:'''While ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years'' is playing'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Why aren't you out there mope-dancing?
::'''BUBS:''' I'm just too naturally Bubsly to dance like that.
:'''While ''Coach Z's demo'' is playing'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey—
::'''BUBS:''' Can't talk now, everybaddy! I'm doin' the broken robot! ''{robotically}'' Malfunction! Vort! Vort! Vort! Vort!
:'''While ''Jane's Austentacious Chamber Music Jam'' is playing '''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Why aren't you out there cutting a 19th century rug?
::'''BUBS:''' I would, but Coach Z's the only one who's asked me to dance, and he's a big ''green'' job!
::'''COACH Z:''' ''{Calling out to Bubs}'' Yoo-hoo!

==== Bubs → Party ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What are you doing here, Bubs? You ''hate'' Marzipan's parties!
:'''BUBS:''' Yeah, but I love the stuff in ''your'' fridge!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Bubs, I love ya like a distant cousin-in-law, but ''you've got to get out of here''!
:'''BUBS:''' No way, man! I'm just gettin' warmed up!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' '''''Get out!'''''
:'''BUBS:''' Mmmmm... nope.

=== Chef's Hat ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Now that I've gotten rid of Homestar, I can finally put this awesome chef's hat in my photo booth wardrobe.

===Dead Plant===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This is Charlemagne, Strong Sad's plant. It used to be healthy, but after Strong Sad started talking to it, it decided to kill itself!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' That's not true!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's not what the note said!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's Strong Sad's suicidal plant.

===Dishes===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'll do the dishes once our skeet shooty flinger gets fixed.

===Fridge===
:'''Before Party'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hit me witcha best food shot, fridge o' mine! ''{opens fridge}'' The only thing in here is some paleolithic Fluffy Puff Mayonnaise. Looks like someFATbody needs to go to the store.
::'''STRONG SAD:''' It was my turn last time!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Eww, that mayonnaise is so ancient, its expiration date is chiseled on a stone tablet.
:'''Only while Homestar is in the kitchen'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What happened to all the food?
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What food? The fridge was empty when I got here!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh. Yeah.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You know, you plan on staying here, you'll have to take your turn stocking the fridge.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No problem, old chum! Whose turn is it now?
::'''STRONG SAD:''' Strong Bad's!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You shut up!

:'''During Party'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Peanut Extract Cola, Eggplant Fritters, Frozen Double Vegan Sundaes... Yeah, this is a Marziparty all right.

:'''In Extended Play'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I think they say that once it turns a light grey, it's safe to eat again.
=== Fruit & Veggies Pizza ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Normally, I'd be pouncing on these pizzas like The Cheat on a wounded Twinkie, but I draw the line at veggie pizzas. Especially veggie pizzas with olives and extra King of Town slobber.

===Homestar Runner===

=== Candy → Homestar ===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey mopedog!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Have some candy!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Ewww, packing peanuts! That sounds like something Marzipan would like! ''{sighs}'' Marzipan...
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Great, now he's sighing.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sure you don't want any of this (and I use the term loosely) candy?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{sadly}'' No, the smell of organic packing peanuts reminds me of... Marzipan... wah-huh-hah!

=== Cell Phone → Homestar ===
:'''Before giving the candy to Marzipan'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm not giving up this object of enormous pranking potential until it's absolutely necessary.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Not yet, my pretty.
:'''After having successfully left the Candy for Marzipan'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey Homestar! Look who found your cell phone!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What would I want with a phone? It's not like anyone will ever call me again.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Anyone? Not even ''{dials voicemail}'' Marzipan?
::'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{recording on phone}'' Homestar? It's Marzipan. I want you to know that while I'm still a little bit sore ''{Homestar saddens more}'' that you burned down most of my backyard, I've accepted your chocolate apology, ''{Homestar brightens}'' and am prepared to be your girlfriend again. Good bye!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' The candy worked? Hooray! Waitaminute... when did I give her candy?
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You don't remember? You sent me over to her house a few hours ago with a big box of chocolate-covered organic packing peanuts.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh yeah, that ''sounds'' like something I'd do. So what am I doing in your kitchen now with all this cooking stuff?
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Beats the crap outta me.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Well, I'll just go then.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Yes please. ''{Homestar leaves}'' At last, the kitchen and all its four year old condiments are mine again! Bwah-hah-ha-haaa!

==== Homestar → Chef's Hat ====
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What's with all the cooking?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' The Cheat told me that the way to a woman's heart is through her stomach, so I'm endeavoring to prepare a scrumptious confection to win back Marzipan's a-love.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sounds like a plan. How's it going?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Not so good. Marzipan's vegan and most of the food in here contains meat, milk, milky meat, or ...meaty milk?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, don't be dissin' my meaty milk!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Any closer to finishing off that make-up candy for Marzipan?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No. I'm starting to think it's all hopeless.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, maybe Dr. Strong Bad can write a prescription to cure Homestar's broken heart. A candy prescription. For Marzipan. To eat.

=== Jela-ton™ ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey now, what's this? ''{Strong Bad takes and reads note from crate}''
:'''COACH Z:''' ''{voiceover}'' Dear Homestar, even though you thoroughly disgraced yourself at the Race to the End of the Race, rules are rules. Please enjoy this lifetime supply of Fluffy-Puff Jela-Ton™, the official second place prize of the F-C-U-T-R-E-R. Yours truly, Coach Z. PS Never show your giant face around my track ever again!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm. Homestar'll probably feel a lot better if I get rid of this unpleasant reminder of his humiliating defeat. I know ''I'll'' feel a lot better — I ''love'' Jela-Ton.

=== The King of Town ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey!
:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{eating noises}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' He's even more ravenous than usual, almost like he's spent the last few hours in a deep dark hole... or something.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey there!
:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{eating noises}''

===Microwave===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I cant use the WavyMic, its door's stuck shut with nacho entrails and mangled action figures.

===Outside===
:'''During the party only. The same response is received if attempting to leave the area via the map.'''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' No way, man. I'm not going anywhere until I've kicked everyone whose name doesn't begin with "Strong" out of my house! Except The Cheat. I'm just gonna kick him.

==Laundry Room==

===Washer and Dryer===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Only Strong Sad seems to know the secrets to these mysterious mechanical devices.
'''Dryer only, when The Cheat is inside'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' How you doing in there, The Cheat?
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Me-mehr mimimi me mehr mer, me meh! 
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey! Do you kiss your hot mom with that mouth?!?

===The Cheat===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey! Look at that thing, over there.
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Mehr me meh me? 
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Holy pixelated Trogdor, what's that?
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Me mihr? 
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, turn around.
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Wii? 
:{{short hr}}
::''{Regardless of what is said above, Strong Bad kicks The Cheat into the dryer}''

===Pennants===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Those are pennants from various academic institutions, unaccredited and discredited alike.

==Living Room==

=== Banana Peel → Conga Line ===
:'''While the Luxa Louger is up, and the Conga line is moving towards the left'''
::''{Strong Bad places the banana peel in the living room}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You know, this is a really dangerous idea. Someone could trip on this poorly-placed banana peel and go flying right out the window. Yup, sure is dangeous...
::''{each steps on the banana peel in turn, not slipping}''
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Whoops!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Whooo!
::'''BUBS:''' Heeey!
::'''COACH Z:''' Yorp!
::'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' Yip! ''{inadvertantly flings the banana peel, which lands on Strong Bad}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Arrg!

:'''While the Conga line is to the right'''
::''{Strong Bad places the banana peel in the kitchen}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh my, I've dropped my banana peeeeel! I hope no one slips on it!
::''{each steps on the banana peel in turn, not slipping}''
::'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' Yip!
::'''COACH Z:''' Yorp!
::'''BUBS:''' Heeey!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Whooo!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Whoops! ''{inadvertantly flings the banana peel, which lands on Strong Bad}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Arrg!

:'''While Luxa Lounger is down, and the Conga line is moving towards the window'''
::''{Strong Bad places the banana peel in front of the window}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I love the way I think!
::''{each slips on the banana peel in turn at falls out the window}''
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Whoa!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Wh-Whoa!
::'''BUBS:''' Hey— awesome!
::'''COACH Z:''' What the-?! I regret everything!
::'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' Oh, look! A banana! Peeeel!
::''{The King makes a heavier thud than the others when they fall. All are heard groaning}''
::''{Strong Bad turns off the See Dee Spinner}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' That's what happens when you mess with General Flexmypecs! Tha—That's me. I sometimes call myself General William Flexmypecs. Now maybe I can get some freakin' piece of quiet around here...
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{off-screen}'' Ow, my snot!
::''{cut to the epilogue}''

=== Coach Z ===
:'''While ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years'' is playing'''
::'''COACH Z:''' This music really captures the dark empty abyss in my soul!
:'''While ''Coach Z's demo'' is playing'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey—
::'''COACH Z:''' Hey, ho! One, two three. I got this party mad jumpin' cuz I'm Coach Z!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Stop it.
::'''COACH Z:''' Stop it, drop it, don't try it till ya knock it! Coach Z shock like an electrical socket!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' This is getting me nowhere.
::'''COACH Z:''' Nowhere to run, nowhere to walk. I'm gonna draw you up a play with my locker-room chalk.
:'''While ''Jane's Austentacious Chamber Music Jam'' is playing '''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Why aren't you dancing?
::'''COACH Z:''' I would, but that rascal Bubs won't do me the honor! ''{Calling out to Bubs}'' Yoo-hoo!
::'''BUBS:''' ''{annoyed}'' Shut up, dummy!

==== Coach Z → Coach Z → Angel ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You're looking particularly oblivious tonight, Coach.
:'''COACH Z:''' Why thank you there, Strong Bad. Nothing like a praty with lots of free roughage to perk a guy up!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I hear the Swedes were really happy with the way you ran the Race to the End of the blahblahblah
:'''COACH Z:''' Really?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh yeah. I heard them on the TV saying "vimsky vomsky dimalaya libomski, bork bork bork!" ... Or something like that.
:'''COACH Z:''' That's just super!

==== Coach Z → Coach Z → Devil====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm sorry to hear that "Homestar" took the race trophy from you.
:'''COACH Z:''' Oh, that's okay there, Brong Strad. You know what they say, "Records were meant to be broken into little bitty pieces."
:'''STRONG BAD:''' But still, to have your one shining moment of glory so unceremoniously choke-slammed into the trash can of history by such a well-known loser like Homestar?
:'''COACH Z:''' ''{Uncertain}'' No really, it's okay... ''{sighs}''
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, you may not be the Race to the End of the Race Champion any more, but you've still got your creepy health, right?
:'''COACH Z:''' Yeah, I guess.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, what's that?
:'''COACH Z:''' What?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That giant mole on your...
:'''COACH Z:''' Where? Where?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, I'm sure it's nothing.
:'''COACH Z:''' ''{sighs}''

==== Coach Z → Party ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What do you think you're doing here?
:'''COACH Z:''' Thanks for throwing this praty! I love praties!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'll put this in shouts of one syllable: ''GET OUT OF MY HOUSE''!
:'''COACH Z:''' No thanks, SB. I need a hootenanny like this to pick me up after the awful way Pom Pom broke my heart with all his cheatin' and chortin' 'n' nonchalant cavortin'.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I hate you. Leave.
:'''COACH Z:''' Nope.

=== Conga Line ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey—
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Whoo hoo!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Choo choo!

=== Marzipan & Homestar ===
:'''If wearing Homestar disguise'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, hewwo, Marzipan.
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Hello Strong Bad.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What? How did you know it was me?!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Well, you nearly had me fooled, but then I remembered that the real Homestar is standing right next to me!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, he is!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hewwo, evewybody!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Why hello, Homestar...
::'''MARZIPAN:''' You're not fooling anyone, Strong Bad.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, Homestar.

:'''While ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years'' is playing, both speak slowly and sadly'''
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I'm too depressed to talk...
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, me too. I just can't stop gazing at my shoes.
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I wish my hair was black.

:'''While ''Coach Z's demo'' is playing'''
::'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{crossly}'' Hip-hop objectifies women.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{breakdancing}'' Word.

:'''While ''Jane's Austentacious Chamber Music Jam'' is playing '''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey—
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I do believe that dreary Mr. Bad is attempting to interrupt our dance, Mr. Homestar.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I should say, what an appalling breach of common civility.
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I concur.

==== Marzipan & Homestar → Party ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I thought the Homestar Victory Party supposed to be in your backyard?
:'''MARZIPAN:''' It was, but then some not-very-nice person torched most of my very nice decorations.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Booooo!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh yeah. Sorry 'bout that. It was for the greater good. The greatest good, in fact. You know, mine.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What would it take to get you to move this dorkfest someplace that isn't my house?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Twenty-three dollars.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' We're not going anywhere until we've sufficiently busted moves and/or grooves!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, that's not good. It usually takes Marzipan at least eight hours to fully bust moves, and as for Homestar...
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Shake it loose, shake it tight, gimme the juice, it's Saturday night!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' He's busting something, all right. Or maybe he's just plain busted.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' '''''GET OUT!'''''
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No way, man. I gotta keep shakin' this here thang.
==== Marzipan & Homestar → Trophy ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You know, Homestar didn't ''really'' win the ''{fanfare}'' Race to the End of the Race.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I didn't?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No! It was me, in a totally-not-the-head-from-Marzipan's-float Homestar mask!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Bwhaa-ha-ha-ha.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Hee hee hee!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, that's rich, Strong Bad.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No, really! It was me all along!
:'''MARZIPAN:''' The joke's wearing a little thin, Strong Bad.

===Melonade===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You've gotta see it when Strong Mad shotguns one of these things.
:'''During the party'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Mad's gonna be seriously miffed off when he finds out they've tapped his melonade keg!

===See Dee Spinner===
:'''Before party'''
::''{Ordinary background music playing}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Let's see what's in the ol' See Dee Spinner. ''{changes music}'' Uh. It's Strong Sad's copy of ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years.''
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{changes music}'' Sounds like Coach Z has forced another one of his demos unto the world.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I've had just about enough of that. Let's see what else is in there— ''{changes music}'' Oh joy, it's that copy of ''Jane's Austentacious Chamber Music Jam.'' I'd like to use this CD as a chamber ''pot''.
::'''STRONG MAD:''' MISTER DARCY!!! ''{sniff}''
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{changes music}'' Whoa, what's this? The Cheat's Assorted Latin Rhythms?
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Enough with the music already! ''{changes back to original music}''
:'''During Party, when switching to ''The Cheat's Assorted Latin Rhythms''.'''
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' All right! Conga line everybody! Adoot-doot-doot doot-doot doo-''doo''!
::''{The party goers form a conga line}''

===Smoke Detector===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That smoke detector hasn't had a battery since that day I made Strong Sad eat a 9-volt Po'Boy.

===Window===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sometimes I like to stand in front of my window and start flexing in case a girls' volleyball team is walking by.
:''Second time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I know it's hard to tell from this angle, but the view from here is awesome!
:''Each time thereafter''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You wouldn't think, since we're on the first floor and everything, but the drop-off from this window's like, 20 feet or something.

===Luxa Lounger===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{reclines chair}'' The Luxa Lounger is even more comfortable in its "Ridiculously Overextended" mode.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{unreclines chair}'' The Luxa Lounger is great lounging-based needs, but man does it take up a lot of real estate!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{reclines chair}'' Luxa Lounger Powers, activate!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{unreclines chair}'' Doodle-oot!

[[Image:Horse-plaque.png|thumb|135px|The loneliest goat sees the last sunset last...]]

===Plaque (horse)===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{reading plaque}'' "The loneliest goat sees the last sunset last" — that's a horse.

===Plaque (dog)===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{reading plaque}'' "The Cheat, watch your freakin' back, Squeaky!" Man that's one intimidating hushpuppy.

==Outside==
===Mail Box===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Checkin' my snail mail, checkin' my snail mail! Hmmm, what's this? ''{finds a ski cap}'' I'm ready for the big heist! Those smoky red laser beams don't stand a chance when I'm in this get up!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, I think I'll put it in my fancy schmancy transdimensional photo-booth wardrobe.
:'''After being emptied'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' It's empty now. On account of all the emptyin' I did earlier.
===Pile of Dirt===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh nophers, we've got gophers.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{pops out of the bushes}'' Actually, true gopher holes are more elliptical in nature, and—
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, it's gophers...
:'''STRONG SAD:''' (Sigh)... ''{leaves scene}''
===Treasure Marker===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, there's buried treasure just outside my front door! I hope it's a bubblin' crude.
====Shovel → Treasure Marker====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, front yard, hit me with your best shot! ''{digs}'' What the—!? ''{finds a page of the Snake Boxer 5 manual}''

== Strong Bad Emails ==
===When sitting down===
:'''If Strong Bad is wearing the Homestar Runner costume'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{taking off Homestar suit}'' I don't think I should wear my Homestar costume here. It's too confining and um, clumsy.

:''During game intro only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' I'm gonna check my email, my email, my email. I'm gonna check my whaat?
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm just over here checkin' my e-mail, and your breath smells really bad...
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' When Strong Bad checks his e-mail, a cute fish dies.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' Gimme the e-mails, Lappy. Shamalama dingalama domalama damow...
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm checkin' e-mails from Awesome to Zawesome!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I kick you in the head with my e-mail boot!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{rapping}'' Don't brag and boast, just spread a little email all on your toast!

=== When deleting emails ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Survey Says! — Deleted.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Dee! Lee! Ted!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' El Deleto Grande!

:''{After each of these, the deleted sound plays, showing a red DELETED! screen which has the Female Lappy with devil horns.}''

=== When undeleting emails ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deteled! That's... deleted backwards.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted no more!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Delete, meet un!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Undeleted!

:''{After each of these, the deleted sound plays backwards, showing a cyan UNDELETED! screen.}''

=== Email 1: Beat Homestar? ===
:''Email only appears in game intro. See [[#Game Introduction|Game Introduction]].''

=== Email 2: Pummelling? ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Pummelling?</div>
Dear Strong Bad: Is it true that you're going to be 
beating the snot out of Homestar soon? Because I'd 
like a piece of that action. Taking the under over, 
Dan O'Meara, County Cork, Ireland.
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad pronounces the last name "Oooh Meeeera", and says "Country Crock" instead of "County Cork"}''
:{{short hr}}
:'''When checking the email a second time'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh yeah, beating the snot out of Homestar. I should probably get back to that someday.

=== Email 3: Got Bulk? ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Got Bulk?</div>
Dear Mr. Strang L. Bod, Are you feeling athletically 
inadequate? Is your six-pack more of a pony keg? Do your 
muscles have less definition than a first grader's dictionary? 
Then why not get on the Adonis train with a crate of TOTAL 
LOAD TOTAL BODY FITNESS ENERGY ENHANCEMENT 
POWDER!!! Totally Safe! Totally Organic!! Totally 
Awesome!!! Order a free sample of TOTAL LOAD TOTAL 
BODY FITNESS ENERGY ENHANCEMENT POWDER today, 
and begin to TOTALLY TRANSFORM your body today!!!!Limit 
one per customer.
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad reads his misspelled name as a question. After reading the product name the first time, he looks at the camera and says "Hey, this stuff sounds great!", and stops reading the email at that point}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing as he speaks}'' Dear Total Load Peoples, Although I personally am endowed with bulging biceps that have been described as "bad boys," "pipes," and "thunder bludgeons," it never hurts to get a heroically chiseled leg up on the competition. Please send me a free sample of your wonderful product immediately. Grape flavor. Yours truly, Strong Bad.
:{{short hr}}
:'''When checking the email a second time'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I probably can't get another free sample.

=== Email 4: Your Head ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Your Head</div>
Dear Mr. Bad, MY BROTHER AND I WERE WONDERING 
WHOSE HEAD IS BIGGER: yours or Homestar's? 
Quizzically, Jay and Jim Rosen, Brookyln, NY.
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad shouts the capitalized part}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, that's a good question. I should go do some field research.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm.

=== Email 5: Hey There! ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Hey There!</div>
Hey there, every peoples! If you're one of the many bodies 
watching the Race to the End of the Race today, why not 
top if off with a vist  to Bubs Concession Stand! We've got 
candy bars, lawn mowers, ketchup, Egyptian artifacts, and 
games for the kids! Look for our piles of coupons at the 
track, good for one box of awesome free candy while 
supplies last! Bubs Concession Stand - We've Got 
Everything, Twice!
</blockquote>
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Free, eh? I ''might'' be able to afford that...
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I never should've signed up for Bubs' Free Weekly Spamvertisements. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I never did.

=== Email 6: Tie-Things ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Tie-Things</div>
Hey Strtong Bad, 
What's the deal with the little tie-things on 
the backa your mask? 
-Christine B
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad pronounces "Strtong" as "Stir-tong"}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' More like Christine D+, as in you get one, in life! Y'know, I was gonna ask you something similar, Christine. What's the deal with that giant nose-thing on the ''front of your face?!''

=== Email 7: Total Load Confirmation ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Total Load Confirmation</div>
Dear Mr. Strang L Bod, THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST IN 
TOTAL LOAD TOTAL BODY ENERGY ENHANCING POWDER!!! 
A SAMPLE JAR OF TOTAL LOAD TOTAL BODY ENERGY 
ENHANCING POWDER HAS BEEN SENT FROM OUR CENTRAL 
WHEREHOUSE  TO OUR LOCAL DISTRIBUTOR - BUBS C. 
STAND. You will be notified by email when your totally 
awesome jar of TOTAL LOAD TOTAL BODY ENERGY 
ENHANCING POWDER arrives. Thanks you for your interest, 
TOTAL LOAD TOTAL etc., INC. 
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad stresses the incorrectly plural word "Thanks"}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Bubs distributes Total Load? Man, he carries everything!

=== Email 8: Total Load Arrival ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Total Load Arrival</div>
Dear Mr. Strang L. Bod, WE'RE PLEASED TO INFORM YOU 
THAT YOUR FREE SAMPLE SHIPMENT OF TOTAL LOAD 
TOTAL BODY ENERGY ENHANCING POWDER HAS ARRIVED  
FOUND ITS WAY TO OUT LOCAL DISTIRBUTOR  - BUBS C. 
STAND. And may be picked up at your convenience. Thanks 
again for your interest in TOTAL LOAD, TOTAL LOAD TOTAL 
Etc., Inc.
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad ignores the extraneous word "arrived" on the third line, as well as the misspelled word "distirbutor"; He says "etc." twice and adds "whatever" at the end of the email, but makes no further comments}''

==Strong Bad's Room==

===7 Track Player===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, the short lived 7 Track. Your lack of a play button was your undoing.

===Drawing Table===
:'''At the start of the game'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You know what I need to add some much-needed ''hooah!'' to my day? A little thing I like to call Teen Girl Squad!
::''{[[Homestar Ruiner Teen Girl Squad|Teen Girl Squad]] mini-game starts.}
::''{After the mini-game is finished}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, I can never get enough of that Sassy, Injury-Prone Teen Girl Squad! The only thing that could possibly make their adventures even more unfortunate would be if I used those Really Cool Teen Girl Ideas I jotted down last night after a fried chicken pizza bender—
::''{looks around the table}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, what happened to all my Really Cool Teen Girl Squad Ideas?

:'''When Homestar is blocking the table'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, Teen Girl Squad... which one of you wants to get trampled by stampeding Venus fly traps today?
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Get away! I'm pouring my crushed soul and grody guts into an epic 23-part comic 23-part comic zine graphic novel about a really cool guy who wins the Race to the End of the Race!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Can I see?
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' NO! NOT UNTIL I'M DONE!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' When will that be?
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Not until I've emptied out the contents of my tortured brains.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' So, what, five seconds ago?
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Done with your "fictional" story about a cool guy who wins the Race to the End of the Race yet?
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' NO!

:'''While Homestar is still in the house, but not standing at the table, or during the party'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I probably should get back to kicking Homestar out of the house, but I just can't resist that perky Teen Girl Squad!
::''{[[Homestar Ruiner Teen Girl Squad|Teen Girl Squad]] mini-game starts.}''

===Fun Machine===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Nothing like a little snake fisticuffs to clear the mind... ''{picks up controller}'' Ok, show me that logo! ''{singing}'' ''Do do dooo doo... DIII!'' Awesome, Snake Boxer 5! So much better than the unfortunate Snake Boxer 4: Lady Snake Parade.
:''{after the mini-game}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That was awesome! The only thing that could make Snake Boxer 5 even cooler is using that secret code to unlock the game's controversial ''hidden mode.'' It's a good thing I wrote down the code in the manual right— over— ''{looks around}'' Hey! who took my Snake Boxer 5 manual?
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Must. Punch. Snakes.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa! This game is already, like, 50 times cooler than Snake Boxer 2: The Biting of Boxer Joe!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Snake Boxer 5 really put the series back on track. Especially after Snake Boxer 3: Solving Problems through Diplomacy.

====Snake Boxer 5 Gameplay====
:'''Normal gameplay'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Eat my red blocky pom-poms!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Your Cobra Style is no match for the Way of the Drunken Five-Pixel Power Punch!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Here we go...
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Where's that hot girl that tells me what round it is? Oh, yeah. I see her. I think she's that box.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Come on! That's not fair!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Total knockoutitiude!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Take that!
:{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' No way!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oooh! Right in the face!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' This game sucks!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I did not just get beat by a stupid snake... unless it was on of those two-headed freak show snakes. Then it's an honor.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Ka-pow!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Body Punch!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Taste my glove, snakey!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Everybody knows the game cheats.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh man....
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You're going down, snakes!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' No one boxes snakes better than me!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Upper blow!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, I'm pretty much the coolest.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, that was hard!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Quit biting me, snake!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' This screen isn't big enough for the two of us.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Ring the bell! Ring the Bell!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What? I did not just get snake boxed!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What? Oh, that so cheated!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ...And Strong Bad steps into the ring! ''{makes crowd noises}''
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' And the snake goes down!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Stupid Snake!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I've been bited!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, my hand slipped off the controller!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You only got me cause my eyebrows were blocking my view!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' DING DING!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Snakes, gert ready for the pummeling!

:'''While using the secret code'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' That is some sweet low-res fire breath!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Catch fire, snake! ''{makes fwoosh noise}''
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' BURNINATE!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, snake fire! Awesome!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I am the boxy serpent of doom!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Float like a green snake, sting like a light green snake!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Your Marquee de Queensbury rules are no match for my Kill You Dead with Venom rules!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' The black border's great, because it lets you imagine a crowd cheering you on!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, if I had fangs like that, I'd finally get rid of my staple remover.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Taste my pixelated venom!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, I must be some kind of King Cobra, or Czar Cobra...or Genghis Cobra!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Stop trying to get to First Base with me!

=== Homestar → Teen Girl Squad ===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Put your hands up, and back away from the Teen Girl Squad, Homestar. We don't want this situation to escalate.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Not yet, Strong Bad. I've got to finish my 23-Volume Epic Graphic Novel Zine about a Really Cool Guy who wins the ''{fanfare}'' Race to the End of the Race, and slays a dragon, and starts dating a supermodel and makes his old boring girlfriend jealous, and—
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, yeah, I get it. How long will it be before I can use my drawing table again?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh it might be a while. I still haven't figured out what to call my Really Cool lead character.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Grr...
:{{short hr}}
:''Second time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Are you done with your moron opus yet?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I'm almost ready to start... what do you like better, "Goldstar Stunner" or "Dash Bigstar"?
:{{short hr}}
:''Each time thereafter''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Finish your comic already!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I'm trying, but the words keep coming out all misspelled and unintentionally humorous! Oh, if only I knew what it was like to be a winner!

===Homestar's comic===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Wow, Homestar's comic is really something... ''{cut to a view of Homestar's comic, which depicts a story titled "Run For Beans! (and more)"}'' something a blind cat might've thrown up after eating a blind rat.

===Messy Pile===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's possible that my bed's under there, but I'm not touching it to find out.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I sent some Sherpas in there a few weeks ago, but they haven't reported back.

===Metal Detector===

:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, the Taranchula Black Metal Detector! I had to sell, like, 500 magazine subscriptions to get this baby. But it was totally worth it to be able to shoot radioactive positrons into the Earth's crust in search of rusty pennies!

=== Trophy → Homestar ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{talking to camera}'' Hmm, this will require some stra''ter''gery...  ''{talking to Homestar}'' Hey, look at that, thing... over there.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' A thing? Where?! ''{looks around, Strong Bad hits him over the head with the trophy, he collapses}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, dumpwad, wake up!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{gets up}'' Who? What? Why? Oh, crap! I just had a wonderful dream where I won the Race to the End of the Race! ''{fanfare}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' But Homestar, it wasn't a dream, see? ''{gestures to trophy, now sitting on the table}'' You really did win the Race to the End of the Whatchamacallit!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I did? But how?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' How should I know? Maybe you were... sleep-running or something.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yesss... that makes perfect sense. Well, looks like my 23-part graphic novel can wait for another day. ''{leaves, with trophy}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Finally, I was thinking I'd never get to maim another badly drawn teen girl ever again!

===Videlectrix Poster===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's my Videlectrix Poster that I got for sending in ten bucks to become a member of the Videlectrix Good Graphicketeers!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' "Videlectrix — We Use Computers... to Make Video Games!" I don't know why no one else has thought of that...

=== When entering the room ===
:'''Only if Homestar is present'''
::''{music}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What? How? Huh? You were just—
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{sighs} (if in kitchen)'' Siiiiigh...

== Strong Sad's Room ==
=== Strong Sad's Door ===

:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey Strong Sad! You in there?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Yes!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' C'mon, lemme in! I just wanna punch you a few hundred times!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Not interested.
:''Second time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' C'mon Strong Sad, I've got your favorite food, some nasty ethnic food!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I don't believe in favoring one food over another.
:''Each time thereafter''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad Raymond Jenkins, you open this door right now or I'll— I'll— I'll—
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You'll what?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, we'll just wait until your father gets home and see what he says!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You're not even my real mom!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Fine. I didn't want to go in your purple room of doom and gloom anyway!

====Candy → Strong Sad's Door====

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad, if you open the door I'll give you a box of ChocoOpps.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You know I can't have peanuts!

==Game Epilogue==
::''{Cut to Strong Bad sitting at the Lappy, typing}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' So there you have it Monsieur Manure: the video game adaptation of how I finally beat the snot out of Homestar, in the most direct and least convoluted way. Man I'm awesome. Eat snail, Strong Bad.
::''{camera pulls back, Strong Bad turns around and stands up on Stooly}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{half singing}'' So you see people, that's why you can't, no you can't, uhn, handle my style, because it's hot, ''{jumps off Stooly, and lands on the washer (in the basement), hops down and walks to the couch}'' ''{very quickly}'' so please allow 10 to 15 minutes for it to properly cool before you try to handle my styyyyle! ''{lies down and closes his eyes, camera pans up and left, cutting through the wall and to the lappy. Ominous music is heard. The Municipality logo is seen on the Lappy's screen. Slow zoom in and fade}'' ''{Credit roll b/w dimmed out scene of Strong Bad sleeping on the couch}'' ''{Following credits, a preview for [[Strong_Badia the Free#Preview Transcript|Strong Badia the Free]] is seen before returning to the game menu}''
{{SBCG4AP}}

[[Category:Video Game Responses]]

Hooked on Decemberween

2020-03-01T21:44:18Z

President Cold One: /* Fast Forward */

{{toonnav|Holiday Toon|xmas08_album|Twenty THANXty Six|A Death-Defying Decemberween}}
[[Image:Hooked on Decemberween Screenshot.PNG|thumb|The #1 Decemberween Jam of 2008]]
Several [[Decemberween]] songs of the past, plus two brand-new songs, appear in album form.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{film|Homestar Runner}}, {{film|Strong Bad}} (audio only), {{film|Marzipan}} (audio only), {{film|Strong Sad}} (audio only), {{film|Bubs}} (audio only), {{film|Coach Z}} (audio only), [[Brundo the Decemberween Yak and the Sword of St. Olaf#sheriff|The Sheriff]] (audio only), {{film|The Cheat}} (audio only), {{film|Strong Mad}} (audio only), {{film|The King of Town}} (audio only), [[Brainkrieg]]

'''Date:''' Monday, December 15, 2008 (Flash version) Wednesday, December 13, 2017 (HTML version)

'''Running Time:''' 6:58 (all songs combined)

'''Page Title ([[hr:xmas08_album.html|Flash]]):''' Listen to it Fizz! 
'''Page Title ([[hr:decemberweensongs.html|HTML]]):''' Decemberween Classix!

== Transcript==

''{[[The Cheat's record player]] appears on screen. A record plays, making the same noise as the Old Timey scratch line. After a few seconds, it stops and allows you to choose from The Dethemberween Thnikkaman, Cheer Up Coach Z, Seasonal Sweaters, Homestar Runner Presents: Presents, O, Decemberween, and If I Don't Get Video Games. By default, The Dethemberween Thnikkaman plays.}''

===The Dethemberween Thnikkaman===
{{see|Happy Dethemberween#Transcript|Happy Dethemberween}}

===Cheer Up Coach Z===
{{see|Decemberween Short Shorts#Transcript|Decemberween Short Shorts}}

===Seasonal Sweaters===
{{see|Seasonal Sweaters#Transcript|Seasonal Sweaters}}

===Homestar Runner Presents: Presents===
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{Singing, the Homestar Runner on the record cover moves his mouth with his eyes open.}'' 
Home...star Runner presents: presents. 
 
I'm really sorry that I got you bad presents. 
You should probably try and return all those bad presents. 
You may be shocked to find how little you get for those bad presents. 
I got 'em at the dollar store — they were fifty percent off. 
 
I'm really sorry that I got you bad presents. 
I'm really sorry that I got you bad presents. 

'''STRONG BAD and HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{Singing over the top}'' We're really sorry that you/I got us/you bad presents. 

'''ALL:''' ''{Singing over the top}'' 
We're really sorry that you got us bad presents. 
We're really sorry that you got us bad presents. 

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{Hoarse falsetto}'' I'm really sorry... ''{Clears throat, speaks}'' Ooh, hello, high note.

===O, Decemberween===
{{see|The Best Decemberween Ever#Transcript|The Best Decemberween Ever}}

===If I Don't Get Video Games...===
''{Cut to a [[Paper Background|Teen Girl Squad paper]]. Brainkrieg are drawn on it.}''

'''BRAINKRIEG BASSIST:''' Go.

'''BRAINKRIEG GUITARIST:''' You go.

'''BRAINKRIEG BASSIST:''' Are you even plugged in?

'''BRAINKRIEG GUITARIST:''' Hang on.

''{A stoner rock riff begins to play.}''

'''BRAINKRIEG:''' 
If I don't get video games for Decemberween I'm gonna 
Spell a cuss word on the roof with Christmas lights! 
Invite Crazy Uncle Edgar over, keep his egg nog spiked! 
Hang out behind the mall in a black trench coat! 
Hang out in ''front'' of the mall in a black trench coat! 
If I don't get video games for Decemberween! 
If I don't get video games for Decemberween! 

''{solo}''

I'm talkin' about Night Vision Mode 4, Lord of Armor, Tank Driverer, and Sword Thong Gold Edition! 
If I don't get video games for Decemberween! 
If I don't get video games 
Decemberween! 
Jugga jigga wugga!

==Fun Facts==
===Trivia===
*"Cheer Up Coach Z" was previously downloadable as a [[Quote of the Week]].
*"Homestar Runner Presents: Presents" was originally the background music for the [[Homestar Presents: Presents|toon]] of the same name. The vocal version is presented here for the first time.
*The [[YouTube]] description for this toon is "Check out some Decemberween songs!"

===Remarks===
*This toon does ''not'' include the songs "O Holy Crap" (from [[A Holiday Greeting]]), the holiday version of "[[Intro|Everybody, Everybody]]" (from the same toon as well as on [[Decemberween Email Menu]]), or "Everyone's Looking" (from [[A Decemberween Pageant]]).
*All of the MP3s are hosted on Videlectrix's website. The last time Videlectrix was used to host something other than its own sake was for hosting [[Non-Sequitur Champion]] for use in the [[Store]].
*Brainkrieg's lyrics talk about spelling a cuss word on the roof with ''[[Decemberween#References to Christmas|Christmas'' lights]], not ''Decemberween'' lights.
*Strong Sad can be heard in the background of Homestar Presents: Presents, but he never gets any presents for Decemberween as he's always locked in the bathtub.
*The Brainkrieg video uses the old Flash paper background instead of the new, photographic one. This is probably because the graphics were copied from [[death metal]].
*The [[audio quality]] in this toon is better than normal.

===Fixed Goofs===
*In the [[New Stuff]] section of the Toons menu, this toon was once listed at the bottom of the list as well as the top.

===Inside References===
*The format of this toon echoes that of [[Limozeen vs. Sloshy]].
*Each of the songs either appear in, or refer to, the following Decemberween toons:
**[[The Best Decemberween Ever]] ("O, Decemberween")
**[[Decemberween In July]] ("[[Seasonal Sweaters]]")
**[[Homestar Presents: Presents]] ("Homestar Runner Presents: Presents")
**[[Decemberween Short Shorts]] ("Cheer Up, Coach Z")
**[[Happy Dethemberween]] ("The Dethemberween Thnikkaman")
*Brainkrieg first appeared in [[death metal]].
**Brainkrieg also sung words that start with the letters "De", followed by the refrain of "Jugga jigga wugga!"
*This is another reference to [[swearing]] and [[alcohol]].
*In If I Don't Get Video Games..., Uncle Edgar's cigarette holder is another reference to [[smoking]].
*The Homestar Runner Presents: Presents song references Homestar's past trend of getting terrible presents for the other characters, as seen in [[The Best Decemberween Ever]] and [[Homestar Presents: Presents]].

===Real-World References===
*The toon title refers to [[Wikipedia:Hooked on Classics|Hooked on Classics]], a series of albums issued by K-Tel in the 1980s, where classical music was presented with a disco or dance beat by former [[Wikipedia:Electric Light Orchestra|Electric Light Orchestra]] arranger [[Wikipedia:Louis Clark|Louis Clark]].
*The page title, "Listen to it Fizz!", was a slogan used by [[Wikipedia:Alka-Seltzer|Alka-Seltzer]] in 1930s radio commercials.
*Visible in the background of "hanging out at the mall" are [[Wikipedia:Burdines|Burdines]], a Florida-based department store absorbed by Macy's in 2004, and Babbage's, which was absorbed by [[Wikipedia:GameStop|GameStop]].
*Uncle Edgar resembles [[Wikipedia:Johnny Depp|Johnny Depp]] as Hunter S. Thompson from ''[[Wikipedia:Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (film)|Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas]]''.

===Fast Forward===
*On December 12, 2017, a Twitter user expressed concern to [[@StrongBadActual]] that one of the song download links had stopped working. In response, a plain HTML page version of Hooked on Decemberween was released on the following day. This version contains download links to unzipped MP3s of the same songs, now hosted on homestarrunner.com proper.

<blockquote style="width:50%">
<div style="font-size: 1.25em">'''Up and Download Them!'''</div>
right-click to save-as! remember that?

The Dethemberween Thnikkaman - by Strong Bad

Cheer Up Coach Z - by Homestar

O, Decemberween - by errybody

Homestar Runner Presents: Presents - by Homestar

Seasonal Sweaters - by Marzipan

If I don't get Videogames for Decemberween - by Brainkrieg
</blockquote>

*On December 9, 2019, @StrongBadActual announced that Hooked on Decemberween was added to streaming music services like Spotify and Amazon Music. It includes all the songs from the original, as well as two bonus songs: "Santaman is a Blademan" and "Death-Defying Entertainment."

==YouTube Version==
*The [[YouTube]] version of this toon does not include the video for "If I Don't Get Video Games..."; it stays at the record screen.
*The links to the downloads are missing, for obvious reasons.

==See Also==
*The [[If I Don't Get Video Games... Visuals|visuals]] that appear during the Brainkrieg video.

==External Links==
{{extlinks|xmas08_album|14932|youtube=nh5l5QtsQWc}}
*[[Videlectrix:xmas08/DethemberweenThnikkaman.zip|download the ZIP file for "Dethemberween Thnikkaman"]]
*[[Videlectrix:xmas08/CheerUpCoachZ.zip|download the ZIP file for "Cheer Up, Coach Z"]]
*[[Videlectrix:xmas08/SeasonalSweaters.zip|download the ZIP file for "Seasonal Sweaters"]]
*[[Videlectrix:xmas08/HSRPresentsPresents.zip|download the ZIP file for "Homestar Presents: Presents"]]
*[[Videlectrix:xmas08/ODecemberween.zip|download the ZIP file for "O Decemberween"]]
*[[Videlectrix:xmas08/IfIDontGetVideoGames.zip|download the ZIP file for "If I Don't Get Video Games..."]]
*[[HR:decemberweensongs.html|visit the 2017 HTML version]]
*[[HR:songs/DethemberweenThnikkaman.mp3|download the MP3 file for "Dethemberween Thnikkaman"]]
*[[HR:songs/CheerUpCoachZ.mp3|download the MP3 file for "Cheer Up, Coach Z"]]
*[[HR:songs/ODecemberween.mp3|download the MP3 file for "O Decemberween"]]
*[[HR:songs/HSRPresentsPresents.mp3|download the MP3 file for "Homestar Presents: Presents"]]
*[[HR:songs/SeasonalSweaters.mp3|download the MP3 file for "Seasonal Sweaters"]]
*[[HR:songs/IfIDontGetVideoGames.mp3|download the MP3 file for "If I Don't Get Video Games..."]]

{{decemberweennav}}

[[Category:Decemberween]]

Arcade Game

2019-09-07T21:26:19Z

President Cold One: /* Transcript */

{{about|toon}} {{for|arcade machine|TROGDOR! Arcade Machine}} {{for|game on the arcade machine|TROGDOR!}}
{{toonnav|Shorts|arcadegame|20X6 vs. 1936|Lookin at a Thing in a Bag}}
[[Image:indabasement.PNG|200px|thumb|"We're, uh, doing The Cheat's taxes."]]

Strong Bad, Strong Mad and The Cheat play a ''TROGDOR!'' arcade game in the basement.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Homestar Runner}}, {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|Strong Mad}}, {{Film|The Cheat}}, {{Film|Trogdor}}

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[Basement of the Brothers Strong]]

'''Date:''' Monday, March 17, 2003

'''Running Time:''' 1:41

'''Page title:''' Quite Exciting This Computer Magic!

{{dvd|Everything Else, Volume 1}}

== Transcript ==

''{We start with a familiar scene, the [[Compy 386|Compy]]. Except Strong Bad isn't there, and there's a sticky note on the screen saying "in da basement -sb".}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{offscreen}'' Strong Bad! ''{walks up to the computer}'' Hey Strong Bad, can I borrow your fondue pot again? Oh. You're not here. I'll get to the bottom of this!

''{He sits down at the Compy and starts typing. While he says everything correctly, he misspells "Strong Bad".}''

<blockquote class="email" style="background-image:none">Dear Stong Bah, 
Where are you? 
Your friend, 
Homestar</blockquote>

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{notices the note}'' Oh! "In da basement. From SB." Ohhh, that must stand for Stong Bah.

''{He stands up and heads for the basement. Upon arriving he finds Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and The Cheat playing TROGDOR! the arcade game.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Hey guys! Whatcha playin'?

'''STRONG BAD:''' Uh, playin'? No, we're, uh, we're doing The Cheat's taxes.

'''STRONG MAD:''' W-2!!!

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Bo-ring. I don't wanna play that.

''{Homestar walks off. The game blips with the "SWORDED!" noise from the game.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Argh! Stupid peasant.

''{He kicks the arcade machine, which says, in a computer voice, "Trogdor!".}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa! Pretty cool! ''{kicks it twice more, with the same results}'' All right, who's next?

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Okay, fine.

''{Strong Bad gets off the stool to let The Cheat on, but he just looks at Strong Bad, and makes more noises.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, right. Here ya go, little buddy.

''{He lifts him onto the stool and the theme music begins playing. As soon as it's over...}''

'''STRONG BAD and STRONG MAD:''' TROGDOR!

''{The game says "Trogdor!" and The Cheat begins playing.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, nice move! You're a master!

''{[[The Paper]] comes down with a link to play the Trogdor arcade game. After a little while, Homestar comes back with a stack of papers.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Hey, can you guys do my taxes next? ... You guys? ... Man, that's one big adding machine.

== Easter Eggs ==

*If you wait for Homestar to come by and ask them to do his taxes - after he says, "Man, that is one big adding machine" you can click on the [[TROGDOR!]] game to make it say "[[Trogdor]]."
*You can click on the top of Homestar's pile of papers to see his expenses:

<blockquote>Homestar Runner's 
2002 Expenditures 
________________________ 
 
$150 - [[pork]] [[b/w]] [[beans]] 
 
$2,000 - [[witch's brew]] 
 
$4,000 - refinance my [[Homestar Runner's Hat|hat]] 
 
$2.07 - [[Marzipan]] gift 
 
$1,000 - [[Fluffy Puff Marshmallows|Fluffypuffs]] 
 
$500 - monthly protection 
to SB 
 
$500 - monthly protection 
to SM 
 
$500 - monthly protection 
to The C. 
 
$75 - straps and practice</blockquote>

:*When you have Homestar's expenses displayed, you can click and hold on the last item in the list "straps and practice" to see a picture of something that looks like a hand-drawn baseball card. It bears a resemblance to the [[Kewpie Dan]] drawing from [[The House That Gave Sucky Treats]].

== Fun Facts ==
===Explanations===
*Strong Mad says "[[Wikipedia:Tax forms in the United States#W-2|W-2]]!", which is an [[Wikipedia:U.S. Internal Revenue Service|IRS]] [[tax]] form.
*An [[wikipedia:Adding machine|adding machine]] is a [[wikipedia:Calculator|calculator]] with a printer.
*Homestar paying Strong Mad, Strong Bad, and The Cheat "monthly protection" suggests that the three are [[Wikipedia:Bagman|bagmen]] for a [[Wikipedia:Protection racket|protection racket]].

=== Trivia ===
*The label on the disk in the floppy disk container reads "[[Floppy Disk Container#manhunter new york|manhunter new york]]".
*The top paper in Homestar's stack of papers says "Important Document #402".
*Homestar's total expenditures for one month (as listed) add up to $8727.07.

=== Remarks ===
*On the Monday following [[the show]], there was no new [[Strong Bad Email]]. Instead, there was a post-it note that said "In da Basement". The note included a link to the aformentioned toon short.
*In 2002, Homestar paid a total of $18,000 for "protection", as he paid Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and The Cheat $500 dollars each per month. His other expenditures make up less than 29% of the total $25227.07.
*The Cheat plays the game [[Left Handedness|left-handed]].
*Some of the sounds used in this toon are slightly off from their game counterparts. The peasant burnination sound is higher pitched and the squished peasant sound is played faster.
*Strong Bad has two identical stools (one for his [[Strong Bad's Technology#Computers|computer]] and one for the TROGDOR! game.)
*There is a metal plate at the near bottom of the machine, which is used as a door in most arcade machines to protect the coins collected. However, there are no coin slots, and The Cheat did not put in any coins to start a new game. This would indicate that the machine has been set to free play mode, in which coins are not required to start the game.
*"Straps and Practice" is also the name of a song by [[Matt Chapman]]'s band, "The New You".

=== Glitches ===
*At the start, the Compy's contrast knob is there. When Homestar comes in it is missing, but you can click it anyway. It doesn't do anything either time.
*When Strong Bad kicks the arcade machine, the kicking sound effect comes as his leg is pulling back, not as it is hitting the game.
*The clickable area on the "Back" text at the end of the toon extends much farther to the left.

=== Inside References ===
*[[Pork]] [[b/w]] [[beans]] refers to the Strong Bad Email [[helium]], in which [[Marzipan]] and Homestar discuss the subject briefly.
*"Hey Strong Bad, can I borrow your [[Strong Bad's Fondue Pot|fondue pot]] again?" refers to [[50 emails]].
*This is another mention of the [[Witches' Brew]].
*This is another instance of the misspelling [[Stong Bad]].
*Homestar says "Bo-ring" the same way he says it on the [[Legal]] page.

=== Real-World References ===
*The page title "Quite exciting this computer magic" is a quote from the movie ''[[Spinal Tap|This is Spinal Tap]]''. One of the band members (Viv Savage) says it while playing a game similar to [[Wikipedia:Missile Command|Missile Command]] on a TRS-80 Color Computer in the tour bus.

=== Fast Forward ===
*Cans of "pork b/w beans" would later be seen in the Strong Bad Email [[business trip]].

== DVD Version ==
*The expenses and "straps & practice" Easter eggs are now viewable separately from each other by pushing the angle button on your remote.
*Instead of clicking on the arcade machine to make it say "Trogdor!", after Homestar comments on it being a big adding machine, the "Trogdor!" sound plays automatically once.

== External Links ==
*[[HR:arcadegame.html|watch "Arcade Game"]]
*[[HR:arcadegame.swf|view the Flash file for "Arcade Game"]]

[[Category:Shorts]][[Category:Not Quite Strong Bad Emails]]

alternate universe

2019-09-04T06:38:13Z

President Cold One: /* Fast Forward */

{{sbenav|150}}
[[Image:Doppelgangers.png|thumb|"Save the last email for Strong Bad!"]]
In this, his sesquicentenn-email, Strong Bad constructs an alternate universe portal with the help of The Cheat and visits alternate realities, along with many of his doppelgängers, while Homestar tries to make a real fruit smoothie.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|Strong Sad}}, {{Film|The Cheat}}, {{Film|Strong Badman}}, [[Strong Badman Characters#Deutschman|Deutschman]], {{Film|Old-Timey Strong Bad}}, {{Film|Vector Strong Bad}}, {{Film|Stinkoman}}, {{Film|Tiny-Handed Strong Bad}}, {{Film|Pom Pom}} (silhouette), {{Film|Strong Mad}} (silhouette), {{Film|Coach Z}}, {{Film|Bubs}} (silhouette), {{Film|Marzipan}} (silhouette), {{Film|The Fat Bee}}, {{Film|Casio Head Strong Bad}}, {{Film|Puppet Strong Bad}}, [[Da Huuuuuudge]], [[Teenage Variation#Teenage Strong Bad|Teenage Strong Bad]], {{Film|Homestar Runner}}, {{Film|Senor Cardgage}}, {{Film|Sterrance}}

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[Strong Badman's Apartment]], [[Stages#Old-Timey Stage|Old-Timey Stage]], [[Vector Field]], [[Flashback]] [[Race Track]], [[Strong Badia]] (puppet), [[Places#Made-Up Places|Da Huuuuuudge's Enclosure]], [[Pie Factory]], Interdimensional Void, [[Recording Studio]], [[The Pond]] (Easter Egg), Black Lodge (Easter Egg)

{{Comp|Lappy 486}}

'''Date:''' Tuesday, April 4, 2006

'''Running Time:''' 5:52

'''Page Title:''' Lappy 486

{{dvd|strongbad_email.exe Disc Five}}, {{dvd|Sbemails' 50 Greatest Hits DVD|notitle=true}}

==Transcript==

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing over guitar music}'' I've been walking on clouds and flipping off rainbows, on the wiiiiings of an emaiiil...

''{Cut to a wide view of the desk. Strong Sad is standing to the right of Strong Bad with a classical guitar. Strong Bad turns to face him.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Thanks, man.

'''STRONG SAD:''' No prob, Bob.

''{Cut back to the Lappy.}''

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: alternate univer$e</div>
Dear Strong Bad, 
Got some ?'s for you: 
1. What would you do with a hundred million dollars? 
2. What would you do if you suddenly found yourself in 
an alternate universe somehow? 
Jody (not a girl), TX
</blockquote>

''{Strong Bad says "question marks" for "?'s", and "Number one" and "Number two" for "1." and "2.", respectively.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{says everything inside parentheses normally}'' Ya know, you could probably ditch that (not a girl) thing, if you just replaced it with something tough and cool and kool and tuff. Like (Bulldozer). Jody (Bulldozer). Nobody's gonna think that guy's a girl. ''{clears screen}'' Well Ms. Dozer, you pretty much answered question mark #1 ''{read "number one"}'' with question mark #2 ''{read "number two"}''. Cuz a hundred million dollars is exactly how much The Cheat spent on our alternate universe portal.

''{Cut to a wide view of the desk. The Cheat is standing to the right of the Lappy with a blender containing a [[Nintendo]] Game Boy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Isn't that right, The Cheat?

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' What? This thing only cost us fourteen bucks?

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{agreeing The Cheat noise}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Well... that's like a hundred million dollars in... dog years, right?

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{affirmative The Cheat noise}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{leans towards The Cheat suddenly}'' All right! Mash go on that blender!

''{Camera zooms out a little as The Cheat presses a button on the blender. The blender shoots out white bolts as the lighting in the room flashes. Soon after, the blender stops with the Game Boy intact, and there is a large swirl to the right of the desk.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh-ho-ho! Swirly Photoshop magic! I bet this thing could release some serious Cacodemons. So... ''{The Cheat turns to face Strong Bad}'' What? I—I just jump in?

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{leaning backwards}'' Ohbee Kaybee! ''{jumps off the stool and towards the swirl}'' Jump!

''{As soon as Strong Bad touches the swirl, everything except him and the swirl turns black and white. Strong Bad distorts horizontally and vertically, then "springs" into the swirl. Cut to a panel of a comic strip with a number of buildings drawn in it. A caption at the top of the panel reads "IN A BULDING..."}''

'''NARRATOR:''' In a bulding...

''{Camera shifts to the next panel, which shows an empty room. Strong Bad appears, with "VOIP!" appearing next to him briefly. While in the comic, everything Strong Bad says is also shown in a speech bubble.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa! Where am I?

''{Next panel. Strong Badman is in an action pose on a yellow background. Everything he says also appears in a speech bubble, and is not lip-synced.}''

'''STRONG BADMAN:''' ''{in large red text}'' STINY! ''{normal text}'' We have a visitor from an alternate universe!

''{Next panel. Strong Bad appears in the same room.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{looking to the right}'' It's Strong Badman! And his well drawn abs! ''{looks to the left}'' But... why are we in a crappy apartment instead of a secret underground lair... ''{looks back to the right}'' ...filled with secret underground gadgets?

''{Next panel. Strong Badman is shown from the chest up in front of a blue background.}''

'''STRONG BADMAN:''' Because mere mortal... this apartment...

''{Next panel. Strong Badman appears in front of a red background with his arms in the air. A thunderclap can be heard in the background.}''

'''STRONG BADMAN:''' ''{speech bubble is large, yellow and pointy}'' ...IS RENT CONTROLLED! ''{next speech bubbles are regular}'' And... water's included.

''{Next panel. A kitchen and bathroom sink are shown with the faucets running. The bathroom tap has the word "FROSH!" next to it.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{offscreen}'' Is that why all your faucets are running?

''{Next panel. Strong Badman is standing in a room.}''

'''STRONG BADMAN:''' ''{each syllable appears individually in red text and is not in a speech bubble}'' MU-HU-HA-HA-HAH! ''{regular speech bubble and text}'' Those dimwits down at the public works won't know what hit them!

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{walking in from left}'' So, that's your evil plan? To waste water?

'''STRONG BADMAN:''' And not pay for it!!

'''STRONG BAD:''' I gotta tell ya, Strong Badman... this part of your comic is pretty boring. I'm gonna see what's going on further down the page. ''{jumps out of the current panel}'' Jump!

''{He falls down three panels. There is a woman with a big knife sitting on a giant robotic snake.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh! Now we're talkin'!

''{Next panel. Strong Badman is in the left of the panel, Strong Bad in the center, and there is a TV with the previous panel on it (minus Strong Bad) to the right.}''

'''STRONG BADMAN:''' You're not kidding!

'''STRONG BAD:''' Wha?

'''STRONG BADMAN:''' Now we have expanded basic cable...

''{Next panel. Close-up of a cable running through a hole in the wall.}''

'''STRONG BADMAN:''' ''{offscreen}'' Stolen from my neighbor!

''{Next panel. Strong Bad is in front of a yellow background.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Who's writing this issue? The geniuses behind She-Hulk? ''{looks up}'' The Cheat?

''{Cut back to the Computer Room.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voice is slightly distorted, and a speech bubble appears from the swirl}'' A little frappe action, if you please.

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{single The Cheat noise}''

''{The Cheat turns around and turns on the blender. Cut back to the previous comic panel. Strong Bad disappears with the same "VOIP!" with which he appeared.}''

''{Next panel. Strong Badman is in the same pose as when he first appeared, but flipped around and with a green background.}''

'''STRONG BADMAN:''' ''{in large red text}'' STINY! ''{normal text}'' Keep flushing those toilets!

''{Cut to the Old-Timey stage. Old-Timey Strong Bad is standing on the stage with curtains behind him. To the left of him is a sign that reads "STRONG BAD and his GOODE-TIME PARLOR TRICKS". An audience can be seen silhouetted at the bottom of the screen.}''

'''OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD:''' Yes, and for my next parlor trick, I shan't make anything appear!

''{Strong Bad appears to the left of Old-Timey Strong Bad. He is still in color.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh. H-hi.

'''OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD:''' ''{crowd starts booing}'' You brightly colored baboon! You've ruined my vaudeville!

''{The Homestar Runner's dance music plays as tomatoes are thrown at the two Strong Bads.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah! Shades of gray tomatoes!

''{Strong Bad disappears as Old-Timey Strong Bad looks to the left.}''

''{Cut to Vector Strong Bad floating above a vector field. Strong Bad appears to the right.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' What is up, my enormous vector brother?

''{As Vector Strong Bad speaks, his words come out of his mouth in red vector-style text. They disappear after a short while.}''

'''VECTOR STRONG BAD:''' HELLOTE

'''STRONG BAD:''' So, uh... ''{cut to close-up of Strong Bad}'' what do you do for fun around here? ''{cut back to previous view}''

'''VECTOR STRONG BAD:''' I SPLO STUFF UP

''{Strong Bad jumps backwards slightly to avoid the "UP", which promptly explodes with vector graphics.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, that's pretty cool.

''{Stinkoman walks in from the left.}''

'''STINKOMAN:''' Hey, guys! How's challenges?

'''VECTOR STRONG BAD:''' WHAT IT IS MY DOGE?

'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, you two know each other?

''{Cut to close-up of Stinkoman.}''

'''STINKOMAN:''' ''{smiles}'' Oh, totally sure! ''{leans forward and waves one of his arms}'' He's my training simulator!

''{Cut back to previous view.}''

'''STINKOMAN:''' Check it out!

''{Vector Strong Bad starts moving left and right, shooting squares from his mouth. Stinkoman jumps around and dodges the squares. Strong Bad also jumps over and around the squares, but appears to have more difficulty doing so. Game music from [[video games]] plays. After a few seconds, they all stop.}''

'''STINKOMAN:''' Nice work, big nose!

'''STRONG BAD:''' Big nose?

'''STINKOMAN:''' Your nose!

'''VECTOR STRONG BAD:''' LEVEL 2

'''STINKOMAN AND STRONG BAD:''' Uh-oh.

''{Stinkoman silently laughs as Vector Strong Bad shoots a series of squares directly at Strong Bad. As they explode, Strong Bad disappears. Vector Strong Bad then shoots some squares at Stinkoman, which he dodges.}''

''{Cut to a field in the style of [[flashback]]. Tiny Handed Strong Bad is standing close to the camera. Strong Bad appears to the right. All text appears in a white rectangle near the bottom of the screen.}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' And so, ''{Strong Bad starts looking around}'' both Strong Bads entered the 'Dig To China With Your Ears Contest.'

'''STRONG BAD:''' This is just about...the second or third to worst contest I ever heard of.

''{Cut to a silhouetted view of the field. Pom Pom, Strong Mad, Coach Z, Bubs and Marzipan are standing to the right of a banner which reads "the contest began!!". Tiny Handed Strong Bad is underneath the banner.}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' The contest began!

''{Cut to a close-up of Tiny Handed Strong Bad rubbing his head on the ground near a line marked "start".}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' And tiny-handed Strong Bad rubbed his head on the ground... ''{cut to a wide view; Strong Bad is sitting on a hammock with his Dangeresque sunglasses on.}'' while our Modern Day Hero maxed and relaxed.

''{Cut to Tiny Handed Strong Bad standing near the camera again, as in the first shot. A hole is visible near the background, and a giant glass of root beer appears in the center.}''

'''TINY HANDED STRONG BAD:''' I struck it rich!

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' Said T.H.S.B.

''{Cut to a zoomed out view of the previous scene, but with the giant glass of root beer in the center. The Fat Bee is seen holding Strong Bad's hammock up.}''

'''TINY HANDED STRONG BAD:''' A giant mug of frosty root beer!

''{Old-Timey Strong Bad appears to the left in a bathing suit. Tiny Handed Strong Bad looks at him.}''

'''OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD:''' Zounds! A sarsparilla swimming hole! Last one in's a freemason! ''{he half-runs toward the root beer and jumps in}'' Jump! ''{this last word does not appear in a subtitle}''

''{Strong Bad disappears. Casio Head Strong Bad appears at the bottom left of the screen and dances while playing a tune. Tiny Handed Strong Bad turns his head toward him.}''

''{Cut to a screen in the style of Puppet Stuff. Puppet Strong Bad is standing in front of the Strong Badia fence. The Tire and Stop Sign are visible. Strong Bad appears to the right. Music starts playing and both Strong Bads dance in sync with each other. After a moment, Strong Bad disappears again.}''

''{Cut to Da Huuuuuudge's Enclosure. Strong Bad appears lying down on top of it. He slowly slides down, then disappears.}''

''{Cut to the abandoned factory from [[highschool]]. Teenage Strong Bad is standing to the right. Strong Bad appears to the left.}''

'''TEENAGE STRONG BAD:''' Stripèd pants.

''{Strong Bad disappears. Cut to the interdimensional void, which changes colors constantly.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voice slightly distorted}'' The Cheat! Cool out on the liquefy button, man!

''{Cut to a close-up of Homestar standing next to the blender in the Computer Room. The blender still contains the Game Boy, but now also contains a green substance. One and a half avocados are sitting on the desk, along with a jar that reads "[[Total Load]]". Homestar is pressing buttons on the blender.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I'm trying to make me a real fruit smoothie here!

''{Cut to a wide shot. Tiny Handed Strong Bad is standing to the left, with Senor Cardgage, Old-Timey Strong Bad and Da Huuuuuudge to the right.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Any of you guys got any bee pollen?

''{As Homestar presses another button, Strong Bad appears next to the portal and Strong Badman appears on the left side of the screen.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Homestar! Quit messing with my alternate universe portal!

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{slowly}'' I'm trying to replenish some electrolytes, if you don't mind!

''{Homestar presses another button on the blender. He and the portal both suddenly disappear, and Sterrance appears on the desk.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{looking around}'' Wow. Just look at all these Strong Bad-related faces. What an all-star cast! What say we all form a supergroup and record a number one jam?

''{All of the Strong Bad clones groan.}''

'''STINKOMAN:''' ''{off-screen, simultaneously with Old-Timey Strong Bad}'' I guess...

'''OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD:''' ''{simultaneously with Stinkoman}'' If we must.

''{The screen fades to black, and then cuts to Strong Bad in the recording studio. Some music starts playing, and continues through the rest of the email.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' There's a crazy world of emails in this crazy world. ''{Cut to a reversed view of Strong Bad.}'' Checkin' 'em down, checkin' 'em down...

''{Cut to Stinkoman standing next to Strong Badman and Old-Timey Strong Bad.}''

'''STINKOMAN:''' ''{singing}'' I hope it's from a girrrrrrrl! 

''{Old-Timey Strong Bad winces and looks toward Stinkoman on his last word. Cut to a zoomed out view of the scene, revealing (from left to right), Stinkoman, Strong Badman, Old-Timey Strong Bad, Strong Bad, Vector Strong Bad, Casio Head Strong Bad, Senor Cardgage, Teenage Strong Bad, Sterrance and Tiny Handed Strong Bad. Strong Badman's words appear in speech bubbles next to him.}''

'''ALL STRONG BADS:''' ''{singing}'' Save the last email for Strong Bad!

''{Cut to Senor Cardgage at the recording studio.}''

'''SENOR CARDGAGE:''' ''{singing}'' Let the little children go.

''{Cut to Vector Strong Bad in the field, which now has blue lines running above and below it.}''

'''VECTOR STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' I HOPE THEY DON'T A SPLODE

''{Cut back to a panning view of all the Strong Bads.}''

'''ALL STRONG BADS:''' ''{singing}'' Save the last email for Strong—

''{Cut to Old-Timey Strong Bad in the recording studio just before "Bad".}''

'''ALL STRONG BADS:''' —Bad!

'''OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD:''' Save the last email for Strong Bad!

''{Da Huuuuuudge fades in from the right.}''

'''DA HUUUUUUDGE:''' ''{singing in a high voice with vibrato}'' Save the last email for meeeee!

''{A comic panel with Strong Badman in front of a green background slides into the upper-left corner toward the end of Da Huuuuuudge's line.}''

'''STRONG BADMAN:''' Save the last email!

''{Cut back to a view of all the Strong Bads. The camera slowly zooms out during Strong Bad's line.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' All my Strong Bad doppelgängers represent. Sesquicentenn-email, 2005. I—I mean six.

''{The music stops. [[The Paper]] comes down.}''

==Easter Eggs==
[[Image:coachzeyeballpearhomestar.PNG|thumb|"I'm not at liberty to discuss what I just did in my pants!"]]
*At the end, click on Teenage Strong Bad's hat to see a creation of Strong Sad's ideas from [[Sbemail 150?!?]]:
:''{Piano music, fade in on Coach Z holding a pear covered with eyeballs while black coffee continually streams down his mouthless face. Cut to a close-up of the pear with its eyes googling, then to another shot of the pear from behind Coach Z with his arm raised higher. Then cut to a close-up of Coach Z's head. Fade via black to the original shot. Homestar appears next to Coach Z.}''
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{subtitled, in a fake backwards-sounding voice}'' Coach Z, if you're not going to eat that eyeball pear... ''{clears his throat, starts talking normally with no subtitles}'' I suggest you give it to someone who will.
:'''COACH Z:''' ''{distressed}'' I don't know what's going on, Homestar, but I'm not at liberty to discuss what I just did in my pants!

*At the end, click on Senor Cardgage's head to see Strong Bad's meeting with him:
:''{Senor Cardgage is sitting in a boat on a lake, holding a stick with fishing line tied to the end, hanging over the side. Strong Bad appears in the boat.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Wow, a fishing trip with Senor Cardgage! My life is complete.
:'''SENOR CARDGAGE:''' Alonzo Mourning to you, Myrtlebeth. Say hello to my tacklebox. ''{holds up said tacklebox}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hello there, tacklebox. ''{smiles}'' I'm such a big fan.
:'''SENOR CARDGAGE:''' Well, if you could just sign right here on the dotty line, the adaption will be complete.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''You're'' gonna adopt me?
:''{Strong Bad disappears}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{offscreen and echoing slightly}'' Aw, man!

==Fun Facts==
===Explanations===
*Strong Bad's conversion of fourteen dollars into [[Wikipedia:Aging in dogs|dog years]] refers to the often-confused (and inaccurate) folk formula that dogs age seven "years" for every human year.
*[[Wikipedia:Rent control|Rent control]] is a policy used in some urban communities where the market price is deemed too high. Rent controlled dwellings are highly coveted in the communities where they are available.
*[[Wikipedia:Vaudeville|Vaudeville]] is a style of multi-act theatre that flourished in North America from the 1880s to the 1920s, later succeeded by silent movies. Acts included anything from acrobats to mathematicians and from song-and-dance duos to trick high divers.
*[[Wikipedia:Sarsaparilla|Sarsaparilla]] (spelled incorrectly as "sarsparilla" in the flashback scene) is a type of plant used to make beverages, and is a common ingredient in [[Wikipedia:Root Beer|root beer]]. It is more commonly pronounced "sass-parilla" than "sar-sparilla" or "sar-sa-parilla". It is also commonly misspelled "sasparilla".
*A freemason is a member of a fraternal men's organization such as the [[Wikipedia:York Rite|York Rite]] or the [[Wikipedia:Scottish Rite|Scottish Rite]]. Other organizations permitting women and/or minors as members (including [[Wikipedia:DeMolay International|DeMolay]], [[Wikipedia:Job's Daughters International|Job's Daughters]], [[Wikipedia:Order of the Eastern Star|Eastern Star]]) fall under the umbrella of [[Wikipedia:freemasonry|freemasonry]], etc.
*[[Wikipedia:Bee pollen|Bee pollen]] is a ball or pellet of flower pollen gathered by honeybees. It contains many nutrients and is sold as a health supplement, where it can be added to foods such as smoothies or oatmeal.
*[[Wikipedia:Electrolyte|Electrolytes]] are solutions of [[Wikipedia:Ion|ions]] (such as sodium and potassium salts) that are lost during [[Wikipedia:perspiration|perspiration]]. Drinks containing electrolytes, such as popular sports drinks, are often used to ease [[Wikipedia:Dehydration|dehydration]].
*A [[Wikipedia:Supergroup (music)|Supergroup]] is a musical group comprising artists who were previously members of earlier, well-known groups.
*A [[Wikipedia:Doppelgänger|Doppelgänger]] refers either to a creature from folklore that mimics people's appearances as an omen of death, or to the theory that everyone in the world has someone else that looks exactly like them.
*[[Photoshop|Adobe Photoshop]] is a widely used image editor from Adobe Systems Incorporated. The term "[[Wikipedia:Photoshopping|Photoshopped]]" has come to mean any digital edit done to an image, even if it wasn't done in Photoshop itself. The term is often used pejoratively to say that something is rather obviously edited.
*Stinkoman calls Strong Bad "big nose", a derogatory term used in eastern Asia to describe Westerners, whose noses tend to be genetically larger than Asians'. This is also a reference to the anime art style, where noses are less pronounced than most American cartoons, as well as to the fact that Strong Bad has no apparent nose.

===Trivia===
*This email was the longest email when released, almost a full minute longer than [[flashback]] (previously the longest). However, it has since been surpassed by [[retirement]].
*When Strong Bad jumps down several panels in the Strong Badman comic, he passes a panel containing an explosion (with the word "TADAOW!"), and another panel with [[Strong Badman Characters#Deutschman|Deutschman]] (from [[haircut]]) holding a chain of sausages. Deutschman is saying "KINDER UBERRASCHUNG!!", the German name for [[Wikipedia:Kinder Surprise|Kinder Surprise]] (though "Uberraschung" should be spelled "Überraschung").
*The label on the disk in the floppy disk container reads "[[Floppy Disk Container#weird dreams|weird dreams]]".
*This is the first time Stinkoman has been seen smiling without laughing.
*This is the first time Da Huuuuuudge's voice is heard.
*This marks the second time in which characters from at least two different universes come together in one universe. The first time was in [[20X6 vs. 1936]], in which The Homestar Runner shows up on [[Planet K]].
*When the portal appears, along the side of it, there is some pixel disruption, where the individual pixels can be seen.
*The [[YouTube]] description for this email is "Strong Bad visits alternate universes with his new alternate portal device."

===Remarks===
*Strong Bad has [[Lack of Visible Body Parts#Strong Bad's Nose|no visible nose]] [[Lack of Visible Body Parts#Ears|or ears]], despite the fact that those body parts were mentioned in this email.
*Senor Cardgage is the only one of Strong Bad's alter egos who had been seen talking with him prior to this email, as seen in [[kind of cool]], [[garage sale]], and [[Senorial Day]].
*This is a rare occasion of [[Strong Bad and Strong Sad's Relationship#Strong Bad and Strong Sad Getting Along|Strong Bad being nice to Strong Sad]].
*In [[Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon]], Strong Sad is seen writing with his right hand. In this email, Strong Sad is playing the [[Strong Sad's Guitar|guitar]] [[Left Handedness|left-handed]]. This may suggest that Strong Sad is ambidextrous.
*When Strong Bad types "Well, Ms. Dozer" he types Ms. (pronounced 'miz', used by both married and single women) but pronounces it 'miss', which is the form of address for unmarried women.
*If every dollar was a "dog year", then according to the [[Wikipedia:Dog years|popular formula]], the money would still only sum up to ninety-eight dollars.
**Conversely, if Strong Bad were correct, each "dollar in dog years" would be worth over $70,000.
*Frappé is spelled as "Frappe" when Strong Bad talks to The Cheat. It is lacking the acute accent.
*During the Vector Strong Bad segment, the cartoon's border changes to red.
*When the mug of root beer appears, the hole is under the hammock; before, it was beside the hammock.
*Homestar pronounces the word "fruit" without his usual [[Homestar Runner Without his Speech Impediment|speech impediment]].
*Not all Strong Bad versions were included; the following are missing: 
**[[Super NES]] version
**[[Powered By the Cheat]] version
**[[The Reddest Radish]] version
**[[Lil' Strong Bad]]
**[[Baby Strong Bad]]
**[[Atari Strong Bad]]
**[[Free Petry Dish, USA Variation#Strongbadiophage|Strongbadiophage]]
**[[Made-Up Strong Bad Animals]] (except Sterrance and Da Huuuuuudge)
**[[Senor Muybueno]]
**[[The Castlefunnies]] Strong Bad
*When everyone sings "Save the last email for Strong Bad", Strong Badman's words appear in a speech bubble, but Vector Strong Bad's words do not appear in text as they always otherwise do.
*In the same scene, the wall's grey spot pattern is made from a single image of dots copied and pasted multiple times. This results in some half dots appearing between the copied images.
*In the recording studio, the characters use wireless microphones. While wireless microphones are handy in live performance (to prevent signal loss on a long cable run, as well as to avoid tangling of cables), they are actually rarely used in studio work because cabled microphones deliver truer fidelity.
*The puppet Strong Bad is the only doppelgänger Strong Bad visited that did not appear in the ending screen.
*As Coach Z moves his head during his line in the Black Lodge Easter egg scene, the way the coffee dripping from the bottom of his head is animated makes it look as though the coffee breaks the rules of gravity; it seems to be dripping at an angle.
*In the Easter egg with Senor Cardgage, when Strong Bad disappears, his voice can still be heard even though he is probably far away from where Senor Cardgage is.
*Though Vector Strong Bad's phrase "What it is, my doge?" is supposed to be a bad translation, the word "doge" is an actual word. It refers to a medieval Italian equivalent of a duke.

===Goofs===
[[Image:Altuniv1318-1319.png|thumb|"Because, mere mortal, the panels...CHANGE COLORS!".]]
*At the beginning of the email, Strong Bad's reflection is out of sync with his movements.
*After cutting to the wide shot showing The Cheat with the blender, the Lappy's screen includes the text "Isn't that right, The Cheat?", even though Strong Bad didn't actually type it.
*When Strong Bad first jumps into the alternate universe portal, his stool disappears briefly while he's in the process of warping. It briefly reappears after Strong Bad leaves, but for the remainder of the email, the stool is missing.
*During the comic scene, the panel below the one after "Because, mere mortal..." has a blue background at first. When it moves to the next panel ("Is rent controlled!"), the background changes to green.
*Several times during the email, Strong Bad's pants change color from black to dark navy (although the pant legs remain the same color), such as the first scene with Vector Strong Bad and the recording session at the end.
[[Image:Alternateuniversegoof.png|thumb|And so both Strong Bads entered the "find the missing start line contest".]]
*In the "Dig to China with your ears contest" part, the starting line disappears when the camera cuts to the giant mug of root beer.

*In the "Save The Last Email" song, Vector Strong Bad is behind Strong Badman, yet his white and green lines appear above Strong Badman when talking/singing.
*Stinkoman does not have any shine on his chest. This also happened in [[Happy Trogday]], prior to this toon.
*At the end, Strong Bad is missing a layer of black from his pants, making them purple.
*Strong Bad's face is his seventh design instead of the current one when he says thanks to Strong Sad, and also before he jumps into the portal to meet Strong Badman.

===Fixed Goofs===
*When the email was released, "girl" was misspelled as "gir" in Jody's email. This was fixed shortly thereafter.

===Inside References===
*Strong Bad's intro song refers to flipping [[the bird]].
*Strong Sad was previously seen playing an acoustic guitar in a [[Sketchbook 2006#SK-2006-03-02|Sketchbook]] entry, although that guitar was a twelve-string. Here, he plays a six-string classical guitar.
[[Image:HSRTimeMachine.PNG|thumb|Homestar's Time machine]]
*The alternate dimension machine is a [[Blender#Game Boy in a Blender|Game Boy in a Blender]]. In [[2 emails]], Homestar claims to have made a [[time machine]] by sticking a Game Boy in a [[blender]] while the email is fast-forwarding.
*This is another example of [[mashing]].
*The "In a bulding"  line, including its accent and pronunciation, is straight from the [[Sketchbook (video)|DVD Sketchbook]] (though it was spelled correctly there).
*The woman on Strong Badman's television is holding a [[Big Knives|big knife]].
*"Doge" is a reference to [[Biz Cas Fri 1]], where Homestar misspells the word "[[my dog|dog]]" ("dawg") the same way.
*Strong Bad comments that the "Dig To China With Your Ears Contest" is the "second or third to worst contest I ever heard of." The worst contests that originated in children's storybooks are likely to be the "Strongest Man in the World Contest" from the [[Original Book]], and the "Ten Step Footrace" from [[flashback]].

*The fence used for the puppet Strong Badia set is the same one used in [[Homestar vs. Other Little Girl]].
*This is another appearance of the [[Dangeresque (character)|Dangeresque]] sunglasses.
*Strong Bad previously mentioned "real fruit smoothies" in [[mascot]], saying that he had promised to buy some for the team if they won the game.
*Homestar Runner's "real fruit smoothie" is another example of a [[concoction]].
*Stinkoman's line in the song "I hope it's from a girl" is a possible reference to the [[Strong Bad Email Intros|email song]] in [[dragon]] ("Every week I hope that it's from a female!").
*Strong Bad visits many previous emails in his travels:
**Strong Badman, his well-drawn abs and Stiny originated in [[superhero name]].
**Deutschman originated in [[haircut]].
**Vector Strong Bad is from [[video games]].
**Stinkoman originated in [[japanese cartoon]].
**Tiny-handed Strong Bad is from [[flashback]].
**Casio Head Strong Bad originated in [[crazy cartoon]] and played the same song then as in this email. 
**Da Huuuuuudge and Sterrance are both from [[animal]].
**Teenage Strong Bad and the term "stripèd pants" are from [[highschool]].
**Senor Cardgage originated in [[kind of cool]].
*In addition, some of the music accompanying the scenes Strong Bad visits are also reused from other parts of the website. They include:
**The music from [[action figure]]; later used in [[suntan]] and [[army]] (during the Strong Badman scene).
**Old-Timey Strong Bad's theme music from [[Parsnips A-Plenty]]; later used in [[50 emails]] (during the Old-Timey scene).
**[[The Homestar Runner]]'s dance music (also during the Old-Timey scene).
**The synthesized drum tune from [[Main Page 21]] (during the [[Vector Field]] scene).
**The music from [[flashback]] (during the [[Original Book]] scene).
**Casio Head Strong Bad's demo music from [[crazy cartoon]].
**The music during Coach Z's dream scene from [[A Jorb Well Done]]; later used in [[lures & jigs]] (during the fishing Easter egg scene with Senor Cardgage).
**The music during Strong Sad's storyboard scenes from [[Sbemail 150?!?]] (during the Coach Z Easter egg).
*The Easter egg with coffee-drenched Coach Z and the eyeball pear begins exactly as described and storyboarded by Strong Sad in [[Sbemail 150?!?]].
**The word ''sesquicentenn-email'', ("150th email"; literally "150-year email"), was also coined by Strong Sad in Sbemail 150?!?.
*The fishing boat, lake and background sounds are all from [[lures & jigs]].
*The word "VOIP" is a reference to the [[Visor Robot]]'s sound effect from [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 1]].
*In the fishing trip scene, [[Strong Bad Smiling|Strong Bad smiles]].
*Homestar's first line in the Easter egg is an unusual example of [[reversed dialogue]].

=== Real-World References ===
*[[Wikipedia:Cacodemon|Cacodemons]] are evil spirits or demons, the opposite being an angel or "agathodemon". However, the name "cacodemon" is better known as the flying, red, one-eyed enemy from the ''[[Doom]]'' series of computer games. The plot for these games involved demons escaping hell via portals.
*The pronunciation "ohbee kaybee" for "okay" was frequently said by the character Mushmouth on the animated ''[[Wikipedia:Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids|Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids]]''.
*The [[font]] in the comic book alternative universe, known as "Peanuts", was designed to emulate the style of lettering used in the ''[[Peanuts]]'' comics.
*[[Wikipedia:She-Hulk|She-Hulk]] is a comic book heroine from [[Marvel]] Comics and the cousin of ''[[Wikipedia:Hulk (comics)|The Incredible Hulk]]''. She-Hulk comics were once noted for their [[Fourth Wall Breaks|fourth-wall breaks]], similar to Strong Bad's comments on the quality of the Strong Badman comic and his ability to travel from panel to panel. These not-always-appreciated gags were introduced by writer [[Wikipedia:John Byrne (comics)|John Byrne]], who may be the "genius" Strong Bad ridicules.
**However, in the commentary to this email, the Brothers Chaps claim they were not aware of this when writing the email.
*The phrase "maxed and relaxed" may be a reference to the ''[[Wikipedia:The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air|Fresh Prince of Bel-Air]]'' theme song, in which [[Wikipedia:Will Smith|Will Smith]] states he is "maxin' and relaxin' all cool". Additionally, Smith uses the phrase throughout the series and his own raps.
*The surreal Coach Z Easter egg is an homage to a famous scene from the similarly surreal TV series, ''[[Twin Peaks]]''. The background for the scene featured red drapes, and the starring character, Dale Cooper, spills coffee on himself, represented here by Coach Z's streaming hat of coffee. The unusual speech used by Homestar, meanwhile, was the hallmark of the scene; the actors actually spoke their dialogue backwards, and the recording was then played in reverse, so that the words were heard by the audience in their proper order (though they still sounded unusual and contorted, just as Homestar sounds here). It seems as though Matt Chapman faked this technique, rather than actually recording his lines backwards. ''Twin Peaks'' was co-created by director [[Wikipedia:David Lynch|David Lynch]], whom Strong Sad cited as an influence in [[Sbemail 150?!?]]. Additionally, the phrase "I'm not at liberty to discuss [...]" is a direct lift from the lines of Major Garland Brigs, a character on Twin Peaks, who is often unable to talk about what he does for a living.
*[[Wikipedia:Alonzo Mourning|Alonzo Mourning]] is an NBA basketball player.
*The [[sound effect]] in the fishing Easter egg that starts right after Strong Bad says "Wow, a fishing trip with Senor Cardgage!" is from ''[[Wikipedia:Fishing with John|Fishing With John]]''.



=== Fast Forward ===
*The Total Load was seen again in [[Homestar Ruiner]].
*Marzipan would later use "Kinder Überraschung" as an insult in [[Doomy Tales of the Macabre]].
*A similar backwards-sounding-voice scene (featuring [[Homsar]]) would occur in an Easter egg in [[Haunted Photo Booth]], due to Strong Bad dressing up as Bob from Twin Peaks.
*Strong Bad would record another "number one jam," this time with Coach Z, in [[Fish Eye Lens]].

== DVD Version ==
*[[Alternate Universe Video|Video of Matt singing]] the song from the email is included as a separate Easter egg.
*When Strong Bad meets his puppet double, the scene is shown is closeup. The quality is lower than usual, since most DVD releases of Puppet Stuff have the quality improved.
*The DVD version features creators' commentary. To access it, switch the DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

=== Commentary Transcript ===
'''Commentary by:''' [[Matt Chapman]], [[Mike Chapman]], [[Old-Timey Strong Bad]]

'''OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD:''' I refuse to speak about this SBEmail!

'''MIKE:''' Ohhhh, Old-Timey Strong Bad.

'''OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD:''' Aren't you glad to see-a me?

'''MIKE:''' Do you go by Old-Timey Strong Bad or are you just Strong Bad?

'''OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD:''' I'll go by you with a spine-toothed comb!

'''MIKE:''' Uhh... I forgot—

'''OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD:''' And I'm out!

'''MATT:''' Oh! Uh, who was that, Mike?

'''MIKE:''' I don't know. I guess he didn't think he could make it though the whole email?

'''MATT:''' I don't know. He said he was refusing to comment on it.

'''MIKE:''' I didn't remember that Strong Sad played, uh, backup on the email song.

'''MATT:''' Yeah, it's a sweet— it's one of the few— one of the few tender moments between those brothers. When he says "No prob Bob," it makes me want to cry.

'''MIKE:''' So, it was—

'''MATT:''' Like those times when we were kids and you would be nice and let me hang out with you and John Radle.

'''MIKE:''' They were few and far between. It was usually just so we could beat you up or pour something on you.

'''MATT:''' Yeah...

'''MIKE:''' Spray something in your eye.

'''MATT:''' Uh, Game Boy in a blender, Mike, so that's a reference to— What email is that? The one where Strong Bad fast— The one where he fast forwards. 2 emails?

'''MIKE:''' 2 emails.

'''MATT:''' Yeah.

'''MIKE:''' Look at that!

'''MATT:''' Whoa!

'''MIKE:''' Look at that portal!

'''MATT:''' Whoa! What a portal! ''{pause}'' Definitely. Portals— Anybody that's developing portals right now, in the military or in science needs to stop. 'Cause video— if video games have taught us anything, it's that a bunch of evil demons from Hell are gonna come out of it, and, kill us all. ''{pause}'' Oh! Of— In— In Principal Belving's office!

'''MIKE:''' So, this email was kind of, you know we had to do something, special for 150.

'''MATT:''' Yeah, definitely. Bring all the Strong Bad— the various Strong Bads together.

'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' The many faces of Strong Bad.

'''MATT:''' The many facets, even.

'''MIKE:''' This was, uh... we had written a Strong Badman years ago, three or four years ago, that was sort of based on this premise.

'''MATT:''' Yeah, he was just gonna get an apartment, and feel like his apartment was gonna help him take over the world, and he'd just have a landlord that he would— He hits him with ping— with a ping-pong...

'''MIKE:''' A ping-pong ball, yeah. Is that in here?

'''MATT:''' No.

'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' No.

'''MATT:''' It's not.

'''MIKE:''' I can't remember. He throws a ping-pong ball—

'''MATT:''' At his landlord.

'''MIKE:''' Landlord, yeah.

'''MATT:''' ''{overlapping}'' Yeah. ''{pause}'' Uh, it was just on cable. Whoa. And on Animal Planet. Probably.

'''MIKE:''' So, apparently She-Hulk was well known for breaking the fourth wall.

'''MATT:''' And having good writing. ''{laughs}''

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, too. Which we didn't know.

'''MATT:''' ''{overlapping}'' Yeah, we didn't know. I just assumed She-Hulk— I've never read an issue of She-Hulk. One time she was in this Fantastic Four versus X-Men that I got. That's about as— all the exposure I have.

'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' I think I read about her in the Marvel— Didn't they have those Marvel universe, just kind of encyclopedias?

'''MATT:''' Yeah, yeah. ''{pause}'' Good-time parlor tricks! So, back then, people were apparently so easily amused that you could do nothing. You could make nothing appear, and people would— people would ooh and ahh at you. ''{pause}'' Look, so these guy are buddies, Mike! My doge! That's a reference to a Biz Caz Fri.

'''MATT:''' Oh, Stinkoman. And to the right!

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughs}'' Your nose.

'''MATT:''' Uh... Oh, look out, Stinkoman. ''{pause}'' Uh... There he goes, rubbin' his head on the ground. He's wearing his Dangerask shades.

'''MIKE:''' Dangerask shades.

'''MATT:''' Dangeresque.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, it's like, sort of like danger.

'''MATT:''' What?

'''MIKE:''' Dangeresque. It's means sort of like danger.

'''MATT:''' Yeah, I was saying Dangerask. That's why I corrected myself. Oh, look, there's Casio head Strong Bad. Oh, look, now, he's in the real world, and in a real Strong Badia.

'''MIKE:''' That's in the next room.

'''MATT:''' It is.

'''MIKE:''' It's where we play video games.

'''MATT:''' Mmm hmm. ''{laughs}'' That's all that Strong Bad talks about, is stripèd pants. ''{referring to the vitamin bottle behind Homestar}'' Total Load! Do you think our brother still has some Total Load somewhere in his house. He used to get Ultra-Fuel.

'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' Hy-hydro Fuel and Ultra-Fuel?

'''MATT:''' Yeah, yeah. ''{pause}'' What up, Cardgage?

'''MIKE:''' Is Cardgage's hair backwards there?

'''MATT:''' Probably. I think his hair doesn't follow any— His comb-over switches sides. ''{pause}'' What game is in there? Weird Dreams, remember that game?

'''MIKE:''' I do remember.

'''MATT:''' Sometimes, you were inside a giant cotton candy machine. ''{laughs}'' ''{pause}'' Nobody wants to record a hit— a hit #1 jam with him. ''{pause}'' Hey, we're using a pop screen on our microphone right now, Mike!

'''MIKE:''' And we're sitting in a room with ceiling tiles on the wall just like that!

'''MATT:''' It's true. ''{laughs}'' Old-Timey Strong Bad did not like that high note Stinkoman tried to hit. Sterrence is not singing.

''{pause}''

'''MIKE:''' This is a pretty good song. I like that, uh, guitar going in the background.

'''MATT:''' Yeah.

'''MIKE:''' ''{guitar noises}''

'''MATT:''' The Huuuuuudge has a heavenly voice. Who woulda thought?

'''MIKE:''' Senor Muybueno's not in there.

'''MATT:''' Well, there's a few that it's missing, but this is the, you know—

'''MIKE:''' Those are all the ones that have appeared more than once, probably.

'''MATT:''' Yeah.

'''MIKE:''' Except Da Huuuuuudge has only appeared once before that.

===Fun Facts===
*The unreleased comic featuring Strong Badman buying an apartment would be revealed in a [[@StrongBadActual Tweets 2018#956301241142992896|Tweet]] from [[@StrongBadActual]] in 2018.
*Senor Muybueno is from the [[Strong Libs]] Easter Egg from [[lackey]] and the [[Kicking The Cheat]] Lite scene of [[pop-up]].

==External Links==
{{sbemailextlinks|150|7671|youtube=wv81-ih05vk}}
{{Strong Bad Email}}

[[Category:Old-Timey]][[Category:20X6]][[Category:Podstar Runner]]
[[Category: Emails With DVD Commentary]]

Teen Girl Squad Deaths

2019-08-19T09:12:57Z

President Cold One: /* Injuries and Deaths in Main Teen Girl Squad Episodes */

[[Image:tgs1.PNG|200px|thumb|"Everybody died 'cept me!"]]
The comic "[[Teen Girl Squad]]", written by [[Strong Bad]], often has its characters '''[[Death|die]] (or get [[Characters' Injuries|injured]]) in each episode''', due to being subjected to Strong Bad's overimaginative (and hilarious) cruelty.
{{clear}}
==Injuries and Deaths in Main Teen Girl Squad Episodes==
{| {{standardtable}}
!width="25"|Issue
!width="125"|[[Cheerleader]]
!width="125"|[[So and So]]
!width="125"|[[What's Her Face]]
!width="125"|[[The Ugly One]]
!width="300"|Other
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 1|1]]||N/A||"Voip" by [[Visor Robot]]||"Punt!" by dinosaur||"Arrowed!" by [[Arrow'd Guy]]||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 2|2]]||"Grasp!" (Carried away by a large bat, survived)||N/A||"Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat!" by Thomas (survived)||"Swoop!" (Carried away by a large buzzard, survived)||[[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#No "I" in Team Boy|No "I" in Team Boy]] squashed by "Children!" truck
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 3|3]]||N/A||N/A||"possums..." (survived)||"MSG[['d]]!"(survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 4|4]]||"Cerebellum[['d]]!"||Fell down a bottomless pit||Squashed by "NO pounds" (survived)||Squashed by "YOU'RE NOT" potatoes (survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 5|5]]||"Sailing mishap!"||Punted by Cheerleader (survived)||N/A||"Perch!" (survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 6|6]]||"Double Double Whipless Mochaccino Half Caf!!" Decemberween Gift Exchange Lion (survived)||"Triple Salchow!" Decemberween Gift Exchange Lion (survived)||Wave of Babies (survived)||"Cannonball!!" Decemberween Gift Exchange Lion (survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 7|7]]||"Squished."||[[Mrs. Commanderson]]||[[Mrs. Commanderson]]||[[Mrs. Commanderson]]||[[Tompkins]] "died...somehow" (torso takes silver)
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 8|8]]||Eaten by shark||"Twelve sided died!!" (by a twenty-sided die)||Eaten by shark||"Floor tommed!!!! Step-mommed!!! [[Pom Pom|Pom-Pommed??]]"||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 9|9]]||"Driver's Ed'ed Dead" ([[getting run over|run over]] by [[Learner's Permit Girl]])||Put on a play with port-a-john, didn't get very good reviews (impaled by a spear by Arrow'd Guy)||Ate a bowl of Staple Sauce||BFF-Baow! Fom! [[Froosh]]! (Punched by a tree, which then fell on top of her and spontaneously combusted)||[[Mr. Pitters]] eaten by vultures
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10|10]]||"Caber tossed!!"||[[Internet Slang|p0wned!]] by Tompkins's video game||"Lathe'd!" by A Mighty Warrior|| "ARROWED II!" (saved by Strong Bad)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10|10 (Easter egg)]]||Body parts rearranged||Crushed by giant golf ball||Lampshade covers head||Eaten by carnivorous plant||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 11|11]]||"Blinding Voip!" by Sci-Fi Greg's shirtless torso||Incarcerated after shoplifting (survived)||"MANIAC IN A SPEEDO'D"||"MANIAC IN A SPEEDO'D"||Camp counselor Shortshorts got "MANIAC IN A SPEEDO'D"
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 12|12]]||Killed by flying [[USB dongle goblin]]||Run over by TINES racing car||N/A||"Bad Juju!!"||Class Prez killed by flying USB dongle goblin
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 13|13]]||"Eau de Toilette!"||Garbage disposal (Oh, what a way to go)||The Snack mix, in Tompkins' parlor, with the PRETZEL STICK!||"Dangled off a hotel balcony'd!!" "Then dropped from said balcony'd!" into a bayonet tailgate party||Tompkins: "BABYSAT!"
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 14|14]]||"<strike>Towel Boy'd!!</strike> Team Manager'd!!"||So & So (as [[Scantron]])'s Dixon Ticonderoga Laser Blade Attack vs. MimeogWrath's Hyper Turbo Fill in the Blank Barrage||Revenge of the Cross Country Booster Club Bakesale!!||N/A||Seniors: "Come uppence!" with garbage cans dumped on them (survived)
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 15|15]]||"Pretty Prism!!"||"Betrayal!!" by UbuntuFan91 (Open-Source Greg's Avatar)||"Sparrow'd." (A new twist on an old classic!)||N/A||[[D n' D Greg]]: Gutted like sheep by Manolios Ugly One [[Japanese Culture Greg]]: "Uncanny Valley'd!!!" Tompkins: "[[Tenerence Love|Tenerrow'd!!]]"
|-
|[[Homestar Ruiner Teen Girl Squad|HR]]||Turned into stone by Medusa||"Cliff Noted!" (eaten by Moby Dick)||"A Splode!" (had her car blown up by gangsters)||"GuesswhatVOIPed!" by a robotic penguin||Any of the girls can also be killed by: "Triple Doubled!" (getting dunked through a basketball hoop) Mustard gas caused by perfume stank plus athletic stonk "Alternative Energy Source'd!" (getting fried by sunlight reflected off a mirror while wearing suntan lotion) "Fundamentals!" (getting her hairspray ignited by a flaming basketball) "RATS LIKE METAL! ...Apparently" (trampled by rats after receiving a TXT MSG with the Brainkrieg Ringtone) Getting stomped after METAMORPHOSING into a roach monster. Robotic Penguin: Dies after choking on The Ugly One's chocolate bar
|-
|[[Strong Badia The Free Cave Girl Squad|SBtF]]|||No Unique Deaths||"THE OPPOSITE OF RE-ENTRY'D!" (burned up in the atmosphere after flying a car into space)||No Unique Deaths||No Unique Deaths||Any of the girls can also be killed by: "Di-GESTED WHOLE!" (eaten by an anaconda) "BRAIN OUT OF NOSE WITH A HOOK!" (having brained removed while wrapped up like a mummy) "GORE'D!!!" (during a mammoth stampede) "SPEARROWED! (killed by a hunter after being mistaken for a sickly mammoth "CROSS-FYAH!" (caught in crossfire between storekeeper and shopper with machine gun) "SABER-TOOTH'D! TIGER... in case that wasn't obvious" (eaten by a saber-tooth tiger) "CURSE OF THE GODS! THE NEW ALBUM FROM A-NOOB-IS!" (killed by scarab beetles sent by Anubis as punishment for insolence) "Dead... Dead... Dead... Dead-dead!" (crushed by a monolith) "WONDERFULLY PRESERVED FOR FUTURE RESEARCH!" (sank into a tarpit) "METEOR'D!" (all mammals go extinct after a meteor causes global climate change, to which a Teen Girl reacts) Lizard Teen Girl Squad: "SURVIVAL OF THE PHATTEST!" (killed by Charles Darwin's music)
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Meets Limozeen|BotB]]||"Two Hand and One Foot Tapping Solo!" (Gary playing a guitar solo)||"Roadie Miscommunication Breakdown!" (run over by Limozeen tour bus)||"P-P-Punt!" by Perry, then "Arena Rocked!" (Cut in half by a helicopter propeller)||"English Lit!" (Larry breathing fire)||N/A
|}

== Injuries and Deaths in other Teen Girl Squad appearances ==
*[[404'd]] and [[Neon 404'd]] — The Ugly One is "404'd!" (has arrows shot through her) by Arrow'd Guy.
*[[virus]] — The [[King of Town]] is repeatedly slapped by The Ugly One when [[The Virus]] sends him to the Teen Girl Squad world.
*[[love poems]] — [[Meredith]] and [[Kimberly]] get "Shakespeared!" (have a spear thrown through them) by Arrow'd Guy.
*[[Decomposing Pumpkin]] — [[Brainkrieg]]'s drummer is hit by a decomposing pumpkin.
*[[The House That Gave Sucky Tricks]] — The Ugly One gets "disemjowel'd" by a lunatic with a machété.
*[[Trogdor's Fiery Rage (video)|Trogdor's Fiery Rage]] — What's Her Face and the Gregs are crushed by a deck of cards.

==Analysis==
{| {{standardtable}}
!width="125"|Character
!width="125"|Survived, Uninjured
!width="125"|Survived, Injured
!width="125"|Survived (Total)
!width="125"|Survived Alone
|-
|Cheerleader||'''3''' (TGS 1, 2, 3)||'''1''' (TGS 6)||'''4''' (TGS 1, 2, 3, 6)||'''1''' (TGS 1)
|-
|So and So||'''2''' (TGS 2, 3)||'''3''' (TGS 5, 6, 11)||'''5''' (TGS 2, 3, 5, 6, 11)||'''1''' (TGS 11)
|-
|What's Her Face||'''2''' (TGS 5, 12)||'''4''' (TGS 2, 3, 4, 6)||'''6''' (TGS 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 12)||'''1''' (TGS 12)
|-
|The Ugly One||'''4''' (TGS 2, 10, 14, 15)||'''3''' (TGS 3, 4, 6)||'''7''' (2, 3, 4, 6, 10, 14, 15)||'''3''' (TGS 10, 14, 15)
|}

{{Teen Girl Squad}}
[[Category:Teen Girl Squad]]
[[Category:Violence]]

Strong Bad's Room

2019-08-18T06:27:15Z

President Cold One: More Posters, Less Redundant Links

[[Image:sb_room.png|thumb|Strong Bad's Room]]
'''Strong Bad's Room''' is the messy place where Strong Bad plays video games and music. This room features green carpet, beige walls, and both normal and ultraviolet lighting. Strong Bad has adorned his walls with a [[Hanging Objects#Strong Bad's Room|poster]] of a unicorn with a rainbow (concealing a famous poster of [[Wikipedia:Farrah Fawcett|Farrah Fawcett]]) as well as a crudely drawn poster of [[Homestar Runner]] that Strong Bad [[Homestar Runner and Strong Bad's Relationship|uses as a dartboard]]. In [[Strong Bad's Cool Game For Attractive People]], the Homestar Poster is replaced by a [[Videlectrix]] Poster. In [[Strong Badia The Free]] and [[Baddest of the Bands]], there's also a teaser poster for [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]]. Strong Bad puts little effort into keeping his room clean, evidenced by the discarded chips left on the floor from [[The Cheat]]'s [[cheatday|birthday]] party and the live cockroach (presumably [[Gavin]]) who enjoys them.

Strong Bad spends his time in his room playing such games as the [[Nighttime Driving Type Game]] on his [[FunMachine]] and listening to music by such artists as [[Wikipedia:Peter Frampton|Peter Frampton]] on his stereo. Strong Bad is never seen sleeping in his room but instead sleeps on [[the couch]] in [[Basement of the Brothers Strong|The Basement]]. In Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People, it is shown that the reason for this is that his bed is completely buried in a pile of dirty laundry and other assorted objects. It is possible that Strong Bad has the entire basement to himself.

[[Strong Bad]]'s room has appeared in Easter eggs in Nighttime Driving Type Game, [[Homestar Talker]] and [[Field Day Intro‎]], as well as in the email [[nightlife]]. According to the Easter egg in Nighttime Driving Type Game, Strong Bad's room is in the basement of the house. This is confirmed in [[nightlife]], when Strong Bad is preparing to go to [[Club Technochocolate]] and Strong Sad enters his bedroom from [[Basement of the Brothers Strong|The Basement]]. On the other hand, in Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People Strong Bad's room is on the first floor rather than in the basement.
It's also known that Strong Bad makes his [[Teen Girl Squad]] episodes in this room according to Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People.

==Appearances==
*'''Debut:''' [[Strong Bad Main Page]]
*[[Nighttime Driving Type Game]] (Easter egg)
*[[Field Day]]
*Email [[nightlife]]
*[[Happy Dethemberween]]
*[[Homestar Ruiner]]
*[[Strong Badia the Free]]
*[[Baddest of the Bands]]
*[[8-Bit is Enough]]
*[[Compy Catalog]]

==See Also==
*[[Strong Mad's Room]]
*[[Strong Sad's Room]]
*[[Strong Bad Main Page]]
*[[Basement of the Brothers Strong]]

[[Category:Rooms in the House of the Brothers Strong]]

Main Page 4

2019-08-18T04:20:46Z

President Cold One: /* Fun Facts */ DELETED. This was already noted on the Main Page Glitches Page.

{{mainnav|4|3|5}}
[[Image:Main4.PNG|220px|thumb|Mr. 300!]]

Homestar Runner is in a [[Wikipedia:Bowling|bowling]] alley.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Homestar Runner}}

'''Places:''' A bowling alley

'''Icon:''' Bowling ball and pin

'''Page Title:''' The Comeback Kid!! Also known as Homestar Runner!

==Button Effects==
*'''[[TV Time Toons Menu|Toons]]''' — A bowling ball with [[Wikipedia: Eddie Van Halen|Eddie Van Halen]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Frankenstrat|Frankenstrat]]" stripe scheme bowls a strike.
*'''[[Scrolling Shooter Games Menu|Games]]''' — A watermelon-colored bowling ball gets a 7-10 split. Scroll again and the ball hits both pins for a spare.
*'''[[Character Videos|Characters]]''' — The lights dim, some lighting effects come on, and "[[The System Is Down (song)|The System is Down]]" is played.
*'''[[Downloads]]''' — Homestar holds a ball that looks like [[Strong Bad]]'s head, twirls it and puts it back.
*'''[[Store]]''' — A bowling ball that looks like a globe falls through the floor.
*'''[[Email|E-mail]]''' — The globe ball rolls down the gutter.

==Fun Facts==
===Explanations===
*The 7-10 [[Wikipedia:Split (ten pin bowling)|split]], as seen in the "games" option, is the hardest [[Wikipedia:Spare (bowling)|spare]] to pull off in bowling.

===Trivia===
*For a while, a sample from ''Renegade Master'' by [[Wikipedia:Fatboy Slim|Fatboy Slim]] was played when "Characters" was rolled over. (See [[Secret Pages#Music|Secret Pages]] for the loop.)

===Remarks===
*When scrolling over Store, the falling bowling ball makes no sound.

===Goofs===
*When scrolling over Store, then Toons, the hole from the bowling ball overlaps the globe.

===Inside References===
*The globe bowling ball is the same image used in [[Main Page 1]] and is similar to the one used in the [[Theme Song Video]].

===Real-World References===
*The 4-pointed stars on the back wall are similar to the stars seen in the main bowling alley in ''[[The Big Lebowski]]''.

===Fast Forward===
*The lighting effects are nearly the same as [[The Cheat]]'s light raves that he makes with his own special [[The Cheat's Lightswitch|light switch]] in [[Computer Room|Strong Bad's computer room]], as seen in the email [[techno]], which also included "The System is Down".

== External Links ==
*[[HR:main4.html|go to Main Page 4]]
*[[HR:main4.swf|view the Flash file for Main Page 4]]
{{missinginfo|release date}}
{{Main Page}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Main Page 04}}
[[Category:Main Pages]]

Main Page 4

2019-08-18T04:18:41Z

President Cold One: /* Remarks */

{{mainnav|4|3|5}}
[[Image:Main4.PNG|220px|thumb|Mr. 300!]]

Homestar Runner is in a [[Wikipedia:Bowling|bowling]] alley.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Homestar Runner}}

'''Places:''' A bowling alley

'''Icon:''' Bowling ball and pin

'''Page Title:''' The Comeback Kid!! Also known as Homestar Runner!

==Button Effects==
*'''[[TV Time Toons Menu|Toons]]''' — A bowling ball with [[Wikipedia: Eddie Van Halen|Eddie Van Halen]]'s "[[Wikipedia:Frankenstrat|Frankenstrat]]" stripe scheme bowls a strike.
*'''[[Scrolling Shooter Games Menu|Games]]''' — A watermelon-colored bowling ball gets a 7-10 split. Scroll again and the ball hits both pins for a spare.
*'''[[Character Videos|Characters]]''' — The lights dim, some lighting effects come on, and "[[The System Is Down (song)|The System is Down]]" is played.
*'''[[Downloads]]''' — Homestar holds a ball that looks like [[Strong Bad]]'s head, twirls it and puts it back.
*'''[[Store]]''' — A bowling ball that looks like a globe falls through the floor.
*'''[[Email|E-mail]]''' — The globe ball rolls down the gutter.

==Fun Facts==
===Explanations===
*The 7-10 [[Wikipedia:Split (ten pin bowling)|split]], as seen in the "games" option, is the hardest [[Wikipedia:Spare (bowling)|spare]] to pull off in bowling.

===Trivia===
*For a while, a sample from ''Renegade Master'' by [[Wikipedia:Fatboy Slim|Fatboy Slim]] was played when "Characters" was rolled over. (See [[Secret Pages#Music|Secret Pages]] for the loop.)

===Remarks===
*When scrolling over Store, the falling bowling ball makes no sound.
*When mousing over Games, then Characters, the pins on the second lane are reset.

===Goofs===
*When scrolling over Store, then Toons, the hole from the bowling ball overlaps the globe.

===Inside References===
*The globe bowling ball is the same image used in [[Main Page 1]] and is similar to the one used in the [[Theme Song Video]].

===Real-World References===
*The 4-pointed stars on the back wall are similar to the stars seen in the main bowling alley in ''[[The Big Lebowski]]''.

===Fast Forward===
*The lighting effects are nearly the same as [[The Cheat]]'s light raves that he makes with his own special [[The Cheat's Lightswitch|light switch]] in [[Computer Room|Strong Bad's computer room]], as seen in the email [[techno]], which also included "The System is Down".

== External Links ==
*[[HR:main4.html|go to Main Page 4]]
*[[HR:main4.swf|view the Flash file for Main Page 4]]
{{missinginfo|release date}}
{{Main Page}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Main Page 04}}
[[Category:Main Pages]]

Peasant's Quest Responses

2019-08-15T07:57:13Z

President Cold One: If you haven't already map the took, guy!

{{cleanup|Quotation marks in responses}}
[[Image:PQ_look_footprints.png|thumb|300px|> LOOK FOOTPRINTS]]
The [[Peasant's Quest]] game relies on text commands to complete objectives in the game. While there are programmed responses to all of the necessary actions in the game's storyline, the game contains many responses to unproductive commands as well.

{| border="0" class="toc"
! align="center" | {{int:toc}}
|-
| align="left" |
*[[#Walkthrough Messages|1 Walkthrough Messages]]
*[[#The Three Keepers' Messages|2 The Three Keepers' Messages]]
**[[#The First Keeper|2.1 The First Keeper]]
**[[#The Second Keeper|2.2 The Second Keeper]]
**[[#The Third Keeper|2.3 The Third Keeper]]
*[[#Area Descriptions|3 Area Descriptions]]
*[[#Other Productive Responses|4 Other Productive Responses]]
**[[#Constructive Conversations|4.1 Constructive Conversations]]
**[[#Useful Documents|4.2 Useful Documents]]
**[[#Helpful Hints|4.3 Helpful Hints]]
*[[#Unproductive Responses|5 Unproductive Responses]]
|}

==Walkthrough Messages==
{{spoiler}}
The following are the messages displayed while completing the minimal number of tasks to achieve a perfect score. Note that different messages may be displayed for a game completed differently (e.g. if the Three Keepers' questions are answered), and that there are [[#Unproductive Responses|many other messages]] that may be displayed in response to inputs that are not constructive and/or not essential to completion of the game.

{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="border-collapse:collapse;"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! width="100" | Points !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]
|-
| 0 || (intro) || YOU are Rather Dashing, a humble peasant living in the peasant kingdom of Peasantry. You return home from a vacation on Scalding Lake only to find that TROGDOR THE BURNINATOR has burninated your thatched roof cottage along with all your goods and services. With nothing left to lose, you swear to get revenge on the Wingaling Dragon in the name of burninated peasants everywhere. || 3B
|-
| 0 || (intro) || You head east towards the mountain atop which TROGDOR lives. || 3C
|-
| 0 || (intro) || That's a nice looking lake. || 3D
|-
| 0 || (intro) || You can start playing in a second here. || 2D
|-
| 0 || (intro) || Okay, go for it. || 2E
|-
| 1 || get pebbles || You grab up a handful of fairly substantial pebbles. You make sure to get an even mix of sedentary, igneous, and, um, sureptitious rocks. || 3C
|-
| 2 || put pebbles in bucket || You plunk all your pebbles into the bucket. The weight causes it to descend to the bottom of the well with a quickness! || 1C
|-
| 0 || turn crank || The crank seems to have loosened and you haul the bucket back up. What's this? Why there's a monster maskus in there! No doubt leftover from some pagan ritual. Silly pagans. You grab up the scary moster maskus. Man, this thing could scare a horse! || 1D
|-
| 2 || talk man || "Oh, hi. I'm Mendelev," says the archer. "I used to run a shooting range here with my brother Dongolev. But we don't talk so much anymore. I haven't seen him in a Jhonka's age. If you ever run into him, tell him I said 'haldo'. "You mean 'hello,'" you ask? "Oh, um. No. Shut up. I said 'haldo' and I meant 'haldo.' Tell him I said 'haldo.'"
|| 2D
|-
| 2 || wear mask || You slip on the hideous monster maskus. You scared the crap outta Poor Gary! He broke on through to the other side! || 1A
|-
| 3 || haldo || the archer stops arching and turns to you. "My brother told you to tell me haldo? He must want to start the old business back up!" || Hidden glen
|-
| 2 || get arrow || You pick out a really good one and yank it from the tree. Hooray! Now you have an arrow! || Hidden glen
|-
| 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D
|-
| 1 || get chicken feed || You used to eat this stuff like crazy when you were a kid and your parents weren't watching (which was all too often). You grab several large handfuls. || Baby lady cottage
|-
| 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || the baby lady calls after you, "Hey, you're on some quest right? Well, the little squirt here lost something of mine in the yard the other day. It's yours if you can find it." || Baby lady cottage
|-
| 0 || get berries (first bush) || You reach into the bush to snag some berries but they all just squish in your hand. || 4D
|-
| 0 || get berries (second bush) || Man, nothing in this bush but squished berries either. || 4D
|-
| 0 || get berries (third bush) || Too bad you don't want any squished berries, cuz hey: jackpot! || 4D
|-
| 2 || get berries (fourth bush) || You reach into the bush to snag you some berries but instead find a Super Trinket! These things are awesome! You have a sneaking suspicion that SOMEONE in this game will need this thing. || 4D
|-
| 2 || throw chicken feed || You toss the feed into the lake. You shed a tear for each one. "Goodbye, Monty" you sniff. "Bye Delga, Rasputin. Farewell, Combledon!" and so forth. Woah! That crotchety old man just caught a pantload of fish! "Now I can get back to running the inn," he says and rows to shore and hauls his boat out and cleans, guts, and filets all the fish and a buncha other stuff we didn't animate. || 3D
|-
| 2 || give super trinket || "That'll work," says Mendelev. Just hit 3 bullseyes and you win the SuperTime FunBow TM!" "The ARROW KEYS aim left and right and the SPACE BAR operates the bow. You'll need to press it a couple of times to get a nice shot off but we don't give lessons so you're on your own." || 2C
|-
| 3 || (get [X]=3-5 bullseyes) || "Nice shootin! [X] hits." Says Mendelev. "Here's your prize!" You got the SuperTime FunBow TM! We don't sell ammo, so you'll have to find your own arrows for it. || 2C
|-
| 5 || shoot Kerrek with bow || Here goes nothin', Kid Icarus ARROWED!! Nice shot. You smote the Kerrek! He lay there stinking. A light rain heralds the washing free of the Kerrek's grip on the land. You're feeling pretty good, though, so the artless symbolism doesn't bug you. || 1B or 4C
|-
| 10 || get belt || You strap the Kerrek's belt buckle around your waist. Oh boy. You sure stink now. || 1B or 4C
|-
| 2 || (walk into mud puddle) || Now you've done it! You're covered in sticky, albeit fine smelling, mud. Your "Scalding Lake" T-shirt is all soiled, too. You just washed it last harvest! || 2B
|-
| 3 || jump into hay || You've not known much better than a roll in the hay alone. You leap in the hay like a two years old boy. Uh oh. The hay sticks to your muddy body. You're a walking hay bale! Just like that one guy from that one show! || 2A
|-
| 0 || (walk to Jhonka's cave) || Hey, nice disguise! The Jhonka doesn't seem to notice you. || 3A
|-
| 7 || steal riches || Oh OH! A stiff breeze blew all the hay and, surprisingly, the mud off of you! "You take my riches?!" growls the Jhonka. || 3A
|-
| 0 || No || "Okay. Lemme know if you see riches anywhere," he grunts and goes back to his hopping. You smooth talker, you. || 3A
|-
| 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D
|-
| 5 || give riches || "My riches!!" she screams and snatches up every last gold coin. "Thanks, sucker! Here you go!" she shoves the baby into your hands and bolts out the door. You later learn that she does this all the time and is wanted throughout the countryside. Those riches probably WERE the Jhonka's and who knows whose baby that is. Well, it's yours now. || Baby lady cottage
|-
| 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || This place is dead anyway. || Baby lady cottage
|-
| 5 || throw baby || Something tells you this is a good idea and you lob the little one into the lake. You won't be arrested after all! The little guy has resurfaced safely, carrying an old bottle of soda. You take the soda and stow your swaddling buddy for takeoff. || 3C
|-
| 3 || put baby in bucket || Okay, Father of the Year. You put a baby in a bucket and it quickly descends deep into the well. Yours is a black, black heart. || 1C
|-
| 2 || turn crank || You haul the bucket back up. Lucky for you, the baby is still in it and appears to be unscathed. As a bonus, it looks like he found a Meatball sub down there. Score! You take the sub. Oh, and the baby. You take the baby. || 1C
|-
| 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E
|-
| 5 || give baby || "Well lookit that little guy!" says the Innkeeper. "You want a treat, do ya? What do babies like?" He fishes around in his pockets. "Um, how bout my medication!" You grab the bottle of pills before he can force them on the baby. "Hey, those were for him!" || inn
|-
| 2 || move rock || You slide the stone over to reveal a little hole. If only you could cut off your arms, legs, and head you might be able to squeeze through! || 4A
|-
| 5 || put baby into the hole || Deploying Q-Baby... Way to go, baby! It got the cottage door opened and headed off to a new life. He becomes Valedictorian of his graduating class, goes to Scalding Lake State, gets a degree in Advanced Peasantry and lands a job at Thatch-Pro: building better cottages for a better tomorrow. You grow apart and the letters from him become fewer and fewer. He develops a severe mead problem and blames you for never being there. || 4A
|-
| 0 || open drawer || There's a vintage peasant robe in there! Just like grampa used to wear. || Mysterious cottage
|-
| 10 || get robe || Yeah! Get that robe! || Mysterious cottage
|-
| 1 || close drawer || Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint. || Mysterious cottage
|-
| 3 || wear robe || You slip into the vintage robe. It smells like grampa's lap. Now you're lookin like a serious peasant. || anywhere
|-
| 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E
|-
| 3 || get room || "Okay, youngster," says the decrepit old person. "Just bed on down for the night and I'm sure I'll remember to collect the fee come morning." Night falls like a bad power point presentation. What an uncomfortable bed! You sleep for maybe 20 minutes before the extreme pain in your spine forces you to get up.|| Inside giant inn
|-
| 2 || get pot || You reach way up to the top shelf. Oh great! Now you can't see a thing and your head is covered in highly flammable horse grease. You better get out of here before that disgusting old man comes back. || Inside giant inn
|-
| 3 || (exiting inn with pot on head) || Phew! You discard the big black pot and wipe the horse grease from your eyes. The hood of your robe is still covered in highly flammable horse grease, though. || 3E
|-
| 10 || (walking under candle in burninated trees) || Whoa! The horse grease on your robe caught fire! You're a for-real peasant now. || 4E
|-
| 0 || (exiting 4E) || Man, screens sure get light fast around here. || 1E, 3E, or 4D
|-
| 7 || talk knight || Lookin good, Mr. Peasant. Good luck with ol' Beefy Arm up there. This is it! You can finally get revenge on Trogdor! Nice work so far, stupid! Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter. Disk read error. Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter. || 2E
|-
| 0 || climb || With a new determination you dig your fingers into the cliff face and begin to haul yourself up the mountain like you were in a sports drink commercial The mountain starts rumbling and big loose boulders start tumblin down. You'd best avoid thems. || Cliff base
|-
| 3 || (successfully climbing the cliff without dying) || Nice jorb climbing the cliff. You have a real way with those arrow keys. || Cliffland heights
|-id="bribery_route"
| 0 || (approached by first keeper) || Foolish peasant! How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber! You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too! You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword. And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly. Unless you happen to have something to eat on ya. Then we could forego my question. || Trogdor's outer sanctum
|-
| 5 || give sandwich || No way! I was just kidding but you've really got a meatball sub. This rules! Here, you can have the Trog-Shield. || Trogdor's outer sanctum
|-
| 0 || (approached by second keeper) || Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question! Or we could call it even if I had an ice cold drink right now. || Trogdor's outer sanctum
|-
| 5 || give soda || Sweet deal, peasant. I underestimated you. Wear this Trog-Helmet with style. || Trogdor's outer sanctum
|-
| 0 || (approached by third keeper) || Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION! That is, unless you've got something for my lower back. Man, it's killin me! || Trogdor's outer sanctum
|-
| 5 || give pills || Whoa! Where'd you find this stuff? I don't think this is even legal anymore. These babies'll definitely smote LUMBAGO the, um, LOWER BACKINATOR!! The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant. || Trogdor's outer sanctum
|-
| 0 || (enter Trogdor's cave) || the beaded curtain slams shut behind you. There's no turning back now. || Trogdor's posh lair
|-
| 7 || throw sword || This is it! You hurl the Trog-Sword with all your might at the sleeping Burninator. Now you've done it! Trogdor's awake and the Trog-Sword doesn't seem to be doing a whole lot. Your legs lock in fear, your eyes glaze over and you wish for some Depeasant adult undergarments. But you think you hear Trogdor whimpering! Aw crap, that's you whimpering. At least your voice still works, I guess.|| Trogdor's posh lair
|-
| 10 || talk trogdor || You scream that your name is Rather Dashing and that Trogdor burninated your cottage and you're here for revenge! "Sup, mortal," booms Trogdor. "I really appreciate you making the effort to come all the way up here and vanquish me and all. But, I'm kinda indestructible." "Yeah, I can't be killed. I'm surprised nobody mentioned that to you. I'll admit though, you've gotten farther than anybody else ever has. I bet they'll make a statue or something in honor of you somewheres." "I can honestly say it'll be a pleasure and an honor to burninate you, Rather Dashing." Aw that sure was nice of him! Congratulations! You've won! No one can kill Trogdor but you came closer than anybody ever! Way to go! || Trogdor's posh lair
|-
| 0 || (credits) || Peasant's Quest Written by Matt, Jonathan, and Mike || 3D
|-
| 0 || (credits) || Programmed by Jonathan || 1E
|-
| 0 || (credits) || Graphics by Mike and Matt || 3A
|-
| 0 || (credits) || Quality Assurance Types: Neal Stamper, Don Chapman, and John Radle Nice work on winning and everything. THE END || 3B
|}

==The Three Keepers' Messages==
There are several messages that the game may return while [[Rather Dashing]] is answering questions of [[The Three Keepers of Trogdor]]. The simplest way to complete this part of the game is to bribe the Keepers; the messages returned in this case are listed [[Peasant's Quest Responses#bribery_route|above]]. If Rather Dashing has not acquired the three items necessary to bribe the Keepers, however, he must answer a question from each of them. The messages returned while answering their questions are listed here.

After each Keeper's introductory message, at the command "take the quiz", the game responds: You shake off the Keeper of Trogdor's request. Seriously - this guy should get a job.

===The First Keeper===
====Introductory Message====
How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber! You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too! You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword. And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.
====Possible Questions====
''The First Keeper will ask you one of the following questions (the correct answer is '''bolded'''):''
:Okay here goes. What did you win from the Archery game?
:A. SuperBow FunTime TM
:'''B. SuperTime FunBow TM'''
:C. SuperFun BowTime TM
 
:Okay here goes. What does Mendelev have you tell Dongolev?
:'''A. Haldo'''
:B. Hallo
:C. Allo
 
:Okay here goes. What is the only creature the Jhonka fears?
:A. Poor Gary
:B. The Baby
:'''C. The Kerrek'''

====Response to Correct Answer====
"Ah crap! You're right. Here, take this stupid Trog-Shield!"
====Response to Incorrect Answer====
"Sorry peasant! You fail! And as punishment, you will be turned into...RON CUMBERDALE!!"
 
You ask who the crap Ron Cumberdale is.
 
"Just this kid from 4th grade that I really hated. But he was a BIG LOSER and HE SMELLED!"
 
Well, you not exactly dead. But there's no way you could defeat Trogdor as Ron Cumberdale. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.

===The Second Keeper===
====Introductory Message====
Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!
====Possible Questions====
:Listen careful now. Which one of these letters is the letter C?
:A. B
:'''B. C'''
:C. A
 
:Listen careful now. How many berry bushes are there in the whole kingdom of Peasantry?
:A. 4
:'''B. 5'''
:C. 6
 
:Listen careful now. What was the Innkeeper's pantry full of?
:A. Epsom Salts
:B. Epson Printers
:'''C. Old Man Rub'''
====Response to Correct Answer====
"That's right. Oh. This sucks. Guess I have to give you this Trog-Helmet. Dang."
====Response to Incorrect Answer====
"WRONG! You are hereby cursed to write corny folk songs for the rest of eternity! The kind that only OLD PEOPLE LIKE!!"
 
Well, you not exactly dead. But you certainly can't face Trogdor after writing 'Wheat Grows Sweet, But My Gal's Sweeter'. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.

===The Third Keeper===
====Introductory Message====
Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!
====Possible Questions====
:Riddle me this. To whom did the robe you're wearing originally belong?
:A. Nobleman Nicholas
:B. Nina Neverawesome
:'''C. Naked Ned'''
 
:Riddle me this. What color are the leaves on the tree that grows by the well?
:'''A. Orange'''
:B. Green
:C. Yellow
 
:Riddle me this. Which way does the river that runs through Peasantry flow?
:A. West to East
:B. Northwest to South
:'''C. Northeast to Southwest'''
====Response to Correct Answer====
"Uh oh. You got it right. Trogdor's gonna kill me. Okay, you can have the Trog-Sword. Just promise not to kill any Trogdor's with it, kay?"
 
You just stare at the Keeper blankly.
 
"Okay fine! You can have the dumb thing anyways. Trogdor's through the beaded curtain over there."
 
The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant.
====Response to Incorrect Answer====
YES! I was hoping you'd get mine wrong. No Trog-Sword for you. In fact, no skin for you either!
 
Wow. You sure dead. You had a good run, though. Thanks for playin.

''Note: if you fail to provide "A", "B", or "C" as an answer to any of the above questions, the Keeper will ask the question again, replacing the first sentence with the following one:'' Peasant fool! Choose A, B, or C!

==Area Descriptions==
By typing "look" in an area, you can receive a description of the surrounding area. Sometimes descriptions change as events come to pass.

*'''Hidden Glen:''' Well, looky here! A hidden glen! You LOVE hidden glens. This one has some kinda archer in it.
**''{after Dongolev leaves}'' You're in a hidden glen. There's a tree with zillions of arrows in it.
*'''Poor Gary's Glen ([[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|A1]]):''' Hey! There's a rotten ol' horse over there!
*'''Kerrek Tracks 1 (B1):''' There are large hoof prints in the grass here.
**''{no Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the the grass here. And it smells like a public latrine.
**''{living Kerrek}'' It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!
**''{dead Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. There is a large Kerrek-shaped mound on the grass.
**''{rotting Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Part of the ground looks just like a rotting kerrek.
**''{skeletal Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Looks like someone left their spare bones here.
*'''Old Well (C1):''' There's a really generic well here. Oh, and apparently it's autumn on this screen.
*'''Yellow Tree (D1):''' Rushing river [[b/w]] yellow tree.
*'''Waterfall (E1):''' There's a beautiful, magical waterfall cascading down the cliff side.
*'''That Hay Bale (A2):''' Well, there's that big bale of hay over there.
**''{when in hay disguise, anywhere}'' Right now, you see a bunch of hay.
*'''That Mud Puddle (B2):''' There's a dried out mud puddle. It's all caked and cracked like the kind rock stars are always standing on.
**''{when raining}'' Not much to see. 'Sides that big mud puddle.
*'''Archery Range (C2):''' You've come across some kind of shooting gallery. There's a depressed looking archer at the desk there.
*'''River and Stone (D2):''' Not much to see. River's got a rock in it.
*'''Mountain Pass (E2):''' You've reached the mountain pass that leads to Trogdor's lair. A royal knight blocks the entrance.
*'''Jhonka's Cave (A3):''' There's a little cave with a little door with a little note on it.
**''{before getting riches, after Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.A fat pile of riches lies next to him.
**''{after the Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.
*'''Your Burninated Cottage (B3):''' The remains of your thatched-roof cottage lie before you. You swear revenge against Trogdor.
*'''Pebble Lake West (C3):''' There's definitely half a lake here with a sandy shore.
*'''Pebble Lake East (D3):''' Why it's half a lake.
**''{when the old man is fishing}'' Why it's half a lake.With a fisherman in it. And he's fishing!
*'''Outside Giant Inn (E3):''' There's a giant Inn here. It takes up, like, the entire screen.
**'''Inside Giant Inn:''' What a dump! Only one bed and no minibar? The Innkeeper stands behind the desk and there's a door that's closed.
**'''Inside Giant Inn:''' ''{at night}'' It's still dark out. The grimey old Innkeeper is gone and he left the pantry open.
*'''Outside Mysterious Cottage (A4):''' There's a run-of-the-mill non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.
**'''Inside Mysterious Cottage:''' This place could use some serious sprucing of the 'up' variety. There's a dresser over there and a broom kind of silhouetted all mysterious like.
*'''Wavy Tree (B4):''' Nothing special here except for that weird wavy tree.
*'''Kerrek Tracks 2 (C4):''' ''{same as Kerrek Tracks 1}''
*'''Outside Baby Lady Cottage (D4):''' There's a ranch-style thatched roof cottage here. There are also what appear to be four crunch berry bushes but you can't be sure.
**'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. A lady rocks her baby in a chair. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.
**'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' ''{after the baby lady leaves}'' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. There is one of those self-rocking chairs. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.
*'''Burninated Trees (E4):''' A signal lantern of some kind hangs from a burninated tree.
**''{at night}'' A burning signal lantern hangs from a severely burninated tree.
*'''Cliff Base:''' You're at the base of a very climbable cliff that leads to Trogdor's lair. This cliff is huge - the kind where rocks start falling down the minute you try to climb it.
*'''Cliffland Heights:''' Wow! It sure gets creepy fast around here! What with all the lightning and scary cave entrances.
*'''Trogdor's Outer Sanctum:''' There are 3 openings with a little cliff in front of each. A beaded curtain hangs in a doorway on the far wall.
*'''Trogdor's Posh Lair:''' You're in a giant cavern which houses a giant dragon. You didn't shrink or anything.

==Other Productive Responses==
===Constructive Conversations===
There are some helpful residents of [[Peasantry]] who will provide you with tips about how to proceed in the game. While these conversations are not necessary for completion of the game, many are important to the game's storyline.

{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="border-collapse:collapse;"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! width="100" | Character !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]
|-
| [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (at beginning of game) || You explain your situation to the knight. That Trogdor burninated your cottage and you've sworn revenge. You ask for passage up the mountain to settle your score. (Press RETURN to advance through conversations) "Hang on there, Trogdorkilla," says the knight. "I can only allow actual peasants up the mountain pass to face Trogdor. And you CLEARLY are not one." "Look, Dragonheart..." "You don't STINK like a peasant." "You don't DRESS like a peasant." "And you're definitely not ON FIRE like a peasant." "Once you're those 3 things, come back and maybe we can talk." "Be sure to LOOK around lots. Talk to everyone you see and ASK ABOUT stuff. Type HELP if you get confused and INVENTORY to see your worldly stuff. Type SAVE or LOAD to save or load your game. Duh." || 2E
|-id="belt_only"
| [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt) || "Frankly, Matthew Broderick, you sure stink like a peasant. But you still don't DRESS like a peasant and you're not ON FIRE like a peasant." || 2E
|-id="robe_only"
| [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Naked Ned's robe, whether or not you're on fire) || "My dear Adso, you are dressed well but you don't STINK and you're not ON FIRE. Let us instead exercise our brains and try to solve this tantalizing conundrum." || 2E
|-id="belt_and_robe"
| [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt and Naked Ned's robe) || "Almost there, Dirk the Daring. You stink like a peasant and you dress like one too. But you're clearly still not ON FIRE." || 2E
|-
| [[Baby Lady & Her Baby#The Baby Lady|The Baby Lady]] || talk lady || "Hello, I'm-" you start but the lady cuts you off "Okay, here's why I let you in here," she explains. "My husband got squished by Trogdor. And to make matters worse, the insurance riches I got were stolen by Jhonka. Go steal them back for us and I'll give you something great." || Baby lady cottage
|-
| [[Old Man]] || talk man (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || You holler at the old man about Trogdor, but he just grumbles about the fish not biting. "Must be using the wrong bait..." he says, suggestively. || 3D
|-
| [[Old Man]] || talk man (after throwing chicken feed in lake) || "If you're interested in staying the night, just type 'get a room.'" || Inside giant inn
|-
| [[Old Man]] || get a room (without robe)|| "I only serve peasants here, fancypants!" barks the old guy. "Where's your robe?" || Inside giant inn
|}

===Useful Documents===
There are a few notes and documents lying around Peasantry that help Rather Dashing on his quest.
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="border-collapse:collapse;"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! width="100" | Item !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]
|-
| [[Peasant's Quest Items#map|Map]] || get map || You tuck it nice-like into your short, short pants. Type MAP at nearly any time to check the map. || 3B
|-
| Note on [[Old Man]]'s door || read note (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || It says, "Gone Fishin" just like that grog coozie your cousin got you. || 3E
|-
| Note on [[Jhonka]]'s door || read note (before killing [[Kerrek]]) || It says "scared of kerrek. go way. -j" || 3A
|}

===Helpful Hints===
At times when you stray from the correct path in the game, the computer will respond with suggestions to help keep you on the right track.
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="border-collapse:collapse;"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Action !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]
|-
| After jumping in the haystack, go from 2A to any screen except 3A || Drat. The winds are heavy on all but a couple of key screens... looks like you're no longer in stealth mode. || 1A or 2B
|-
| Type any command while the pot of horse grease is on your head || You need to get out of there before that smelly octogenarian gets back. || Inside giant inn
|-
| Type any command other than "take the quiz" or "give (requested item)" after being apporached by a Keeper || I think he wants something from your inventory. Or you could just tell him "take the quiz" || Trogdor's outer sanctum
|-
| Type any command other than "Talk" or "Talk Trogdor" after Trogdor wakes up || Trogdor is awake and a couple seconds from a Rather Dashing BBQ. Might as well say your peace with him. || Trogdor's Posh Lair
|}

==Unproductive Responses==
[[Image:closedrawer.PNG|thumb|300px|> CLOSE DRAWER]]
There are many messages that the game gives you when you input commands that are not essential to the game's storyline. Here is a list of all that have been found. When more than one option is given, such as "get/take _____", either word will produce the same response.

{{compactTOC3}}
{{clear}}
===#===

===A===
*'''"Ask about _____":'''
**'''Baby:'''
***(to Baby Lady) - "This little guy's all I got left. If only someone would steal back all our riches from that filthy Jhonka."
**'''Fire:'''
***(to knight) - "Well, whenever I see peasants, they tend to be on fire. So get yourself on fire. I hear horse grease gives a nice, controlled burn."
***(to baby lady) - "You need fire? A couple of trees over by the waterfall used to be on fire. But now there's like a signal lantern over there or something." / "So should I ask that signal lantern?" you ask. / "I dunno man! Whattaya want from me?"
***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - "Trogdor just burned down some idiot peasant's cottage. You should ask him," says Mendelev. / "Yeah, this jerk goes on vacation to some prancey lake and..." / They see you staring daggers at them and turn bright red. / "Oh. Nevermind," says Dongolev. "Um, yeah. What's a fire?" adds Mendelwhatever.
***(to Jhonka) - "Burninator make fire! Barbecue all peasants!"
***(to innkeeper) - "I've always preferred being on fire at night. Looks prettier and keeps the butterflies away."
**'''Jhonka:'''
***(to knight) - "Since the Kerrek showed up, we don't see the Jhonka so much anymore. He lives in that little cave over in west Peasantry."
***(to Baby Lady) - "That nasty thing killed my husband and took my riches!!" / "I thought Trogdor killed your husband," you interject. / "Oh right. Yeah. That's what I said. Trogband killed my husbdor."
***(to Jhonka) - "The Kerrek is dead!" he cries and hops around some more. You wonder how someone this primitive could have made that much dough.
**'''Kerrek:'''
***(to knight) - "I call him Big Stinky. He's slow and stupid, but he'll pound you into milks meat without a second thought."
**'''Naked Ned:'''
***(to knight) - "That weirdo used to live over in west Peasantry but now I guess he just prances around the forest in his birthday suit."
***(to baby lady) - "Don't talk about that pervert in front of the baby here."
***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - "That guy creeps us out. In fact, shut up about him."
***(to Jhonka) - "Filthy naked peasant! Stay away from my cave-hole!" Who's he calling naked? HE'S the one wearing the string bikini.
***(to innkeeper) - "He used to be such a nice, clothed young man. Wonder what he's done with all his old clothes?"
**'''robe:'''
***(to knight) - "Peasants wear those brown robes. You know, with the rope around the waist. Get yourself one of those."
***(to baby lady) - "You can't have mine, pervert! I'm not a nudist peasant like that weirdo over in west Peasantry!"
***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - "We wouldn't know. We only wear archer clothes. You just can't arch real well in a robe, y'know?"
***(to Jhonka) - ''see naked ned''
***(to innkeeper) - "I wear my robe hood-down so it's easier to trim my ear-hairs. If you need a robe, maybe try someone that's not using theirs."
**'''smell:'''
***(to knight) - "I never met a peasant that didn't stink. If you wanna smell bad, get the Kerrek involved. That thing reeks!"
***(to baby lady) - "What smells is junior here's drawers! I gotta quit feeding him so much horse!" / "And don't start asking me for his diapers, sicko!"
***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - "That giant pig running around sure smells bad. Maybe talk to him."
***(to Jhonka) - "Kerrek smell! Now Kerrek dead!" screeches the Jhonka. So you can infer from this that all smells are dead? You always sucked at the analytical questions.
***(to innkeeper) - "Well, if you don't stink, maybe find something that does and wear it. Like a dead carcass or summat."
**'''trogdor:'''
***(to knight) - "If I had a gold coin for every whining peasant's cottage that freaking dragon burninated, I'd be rich as a jhonka."
***(to baby lady) - "I hope you kill that stupid dragon. My 'Wives of Squished Peasants' support group would bake you a Poor Gary pie if you did."
***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - "Oh man, there was this one time when I came THIS close to having Trogdor ARROWED!" says Dongolev. / "Hey, shut up! That was me!" interrupts Mendelev, "YOU almost arrowed that blue baby!" says Dongolev. / "Did not!" / "Did so!" / "Did not!" / (You see where this is going.)
***(to Jhonka) - "All hail Burninator! Trogdor Number One! Beat Peasant Tech!" says the grimy Jhonka.
***(to innkeeper) - "Are you talking about that young green boy that lives up the street? He's always tearing my roof off and eating my customers."
**'''anything else:'''
***(to knight) - "I don't know anything about that, short pants."
***(to baby lady) - "I dunno what you're talking about."
***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - "Either we don't know anything about that, or you're real boring."
***(to Jhonka) - "Jhonka don't know nothing bout that!"
***(to innkeeper) - "I don't know nothing about no whatever you just said."
***(anywhere else) - "Ask about what?"
: * - You can only ask Mendelev and Dongolev when they're together.
*'''"attack _____":'''
**'''"sign"''' (at the Mountain Pass) - "I was being facetious, Mr. Smarty-short-pants. No sign attacking for you."
**'''"trogdor''' (while Trogdor's asleep, in his lair) - "Like how?"

===B===
*'''"boo"''' (anywhere) - "Scared me."
*'''"break/kick/punch door"''' (at Outside mysterious cottage) - "Violence is not the answer."
*'''"break sign"''' (at Mountain Pass) - ''See "attack sign"''
*'''"break stump"''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - "Are you THAT bored? Do some questing already!"
*'''"buy kerrek a cold one"''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - "The kerrek is a teetotaller and is offended by your offer. You've really cheesed him off now." '''Warning:''' This speeds the Kerrek up, so be careful. This command was first seen in the email [[for kids]].

===C===
*'''"[[The Cheat|cheat]]"''' (or any phrase involving "cheat"; anywhere) - "Meh."
*'''"climb _____"'''
**'''"cliff"'''
***(anywhere near the bottom of the cliff) - "There aren't enough footholds and you don't have any carabeaners on you."
***(at the top of the cliff) - "They don't show how the sports-drink people get down from the cliff. You've no idea how to start."
***(in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - "Nope. It's too sheer."
**'''"fence"/"jump fence"'''
***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - "No, you have business to attend to here in Peasantry."
***(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - "More like you should walk through that gaping hole in it. Just an idea."
***(at the hidden glen) - "Not going to dignify that with a response."
**'''"in bucket"''' (at the well) - "Your butt is too big."
**'''"in well"''' (at the well) - "No go. Your insurance doesn't cover that."
**'''"tree"'''
***(anywhere but at the wavy tree or hidden glen) - "But then your hands would get all sappy."
***(at the hidden glen) - "Naw, you'd probably figure out some way to kill yourself doing that."
***(at the wavy tree) - "You don't climb wavy trees."
***(after getting a room in the inn) - "Naw. That's dumb. Do better."
*'''"close _____"'''
**'''"door"'''
***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - "Already done. That was easy!"
***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - "You can't. That baby really wrenched it open good."
**'''"drawer"'''
***(without stealing the robe) - "Right, right. Wouldn't want to leave the robes out where any old guy trying to beat an adventure game could take them."
***(when it's closed) - "A riddle: What can be closed that is already closed? (hint: not this drawer)"
*'''"cut off arms, legs, and head"''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) - "Very funny. You have trouble cutting out coupons in the weekly 'Peasant Penny-Pincher' circular. I'd like to see you try."

===D===
*'''"[[dan]]"''' (or any phrase involving Dan; anywhere): "Dan's still okay. Got a place on Dekalb with Rick and his wife. Slimmed up a bit and looking towards the future."
*'''"dance"''' (anywhere) - "You'd rather just stand here and soak up the scene."
*'''"die"''' (anywhere) - "That wasn't very smart. You dead." ''('''Warning:''' This kills you.)''
*'''"drink"''' (or any object after "drink"; anywhere) - "For simplicity's sake you are immune to hunger and thirst in this game. So you got that going for you./Which is nice."
*'''"drop baby"'''
**(once you have baby) - "Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm." '''or''' "Quit tryin to ditch the baby!"
**(before you have baby) - "You don't even have two babies to rub together."
**(at the well) - "Like where?"

===E===
*'''"enter hay"'''
**(by the hay bale, when you're not muddy) - "Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago."
**(near the hay bale, when you're muddy but not right next to it) - "Who do you think you are, MJ? Try from a little closer."

===F===
*'''"feed horse"''' (at Poor Gary's glen before scaring him) - "There's a good chance that horse has NEVER eaten. I doubt he'll start now."

===G===
*'''"get a room"''' (when on fire) - "\oard of Peasant Health says I can't serve any folk that's on fire. Nothing personal. Well, I mean, I don't like you much anyway."
*'''"get/take/steal _____"'''
**'''"(anything not listed and not relevant to the plot)"''' - "You probably WISH you could get that."
**'''"arrow"'''
***(at the archery range) - "They have 'RANGE' printed on them, so it would be kind of embarrassing to have to shoot around with them. Also, that guy over there is giving you the evil eye."
***(at the secret glen while Dongolev is there) - "Something tells me now's not a good time." ''{you get the arrow anyway and Dongolev shoots you}'' "It wasn't a good time. Hey, my mom's making peasant-kabobs for dinner TOO! Right. Anyway. You dead. Thanks for playing, and try not to die." ''('''Warning:''' As you can see, this kills you.)''
***(at the secret glen after getting the first arrow OR at the secret glen after getting the second arrow after killing the Kerrek) - "You're pretty much all set on the arrow front. They're kinda cool, though."
***(at the secret glen after killing the Kerrek) - "You grab yet another arrow from the tree hoping to get some bonus points."
***(at Kerrek's body after killing the Kerrek) - "Eww! No way. That thing's got some serious Kerrek-Brand kooties on it now."
**'''"baby"''' (inside the woman's cottage, while she has the baby) - "'You want to be a part of this family? GO GET US THOSE RICHES!!' she shrieks."
**'''"bell"''' (in the inn, after getting a room) - "You can't. It looks like it's been somehow olded to the desk."
**'''"belt"''' (after getting it) - "You totally got the belt already, as evidenced by the rancid cloud of odor that follows you like a shadow."
**'''"berries"'''
***(the same bush twice outside the woman's cottage) - "You already searched that bush. It was okay. Nothing to write home about... oh, wait... you don't have a home. My b."
***(after you've gotten the trinket, outside the woman's cottage) - "You've searched your fill of berry bushes for this game. If you want to search more press 'reload' on the browser"
***(at the west side of the lake) - "NO MAN! JEEZ!"
**'''"bone/skull"''' (at the top of the cliff) - "Eww. No. Grody. You're grody. No. Eww."
**'''"broom"''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - "No, no. The broom is in the foreground and you can't take things from the foreground. You don't see me all typing 'get browser window', do you?"
**'''"bucket"''' (at the well) - "You can't, it's tied to a rope and you're terrible with knots."
**'''"candle"''' (at night, in the inn) - "It seems like you should be able to do that, doesn't it? Sorry. No dice."
**'''"chair"'''
***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is there) - "No. There's a big bag of something in it. Oh, that's the baby lady."
***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is gone) - "No. Too big for pants."
**'''"club"''' (outside the Jhonka's cottage when he's out) - "Now there's a surefire way to get yourself killed."
**'''"drawer"''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - "You get a hernia from lifting it. -2 Movement points, -10 Constitution. Don't do that again."
**'''"feed"''' (inside the woman's cottage after stealing feed) - "You don't need anymore. It might give rise to old temptations."
**'''"fire"'''
***(at the burninated tree at night, before getting the horse grease) - "You're just not flammable enough."
***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting the horse grease) - "You don't need to get IT. Just let IT get YOU."
***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting on fire) - "You're already on fire! What? You want to be MORE on fire?"
**'''"flies"''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - "You nasty. Besides, they wouldn't survive a minute away from that horse's butt."
**'''"gold/money"''' (inside the woman's cottage) - "Um, that's chicken feed."
**'''"grease"''' (inside the inn, at night, when you already got the grease) - "You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood."
**'''"hay"'''
***(at the hay bale) - "Who do you think you are? Some kind of Thy Dungeonman? You don't need any hay."
***(inside the woman's cottage) - "There's a huge bale a couple of screens over from here. Why bother stealing?"
**'''"kerrek"''' (in the Kerrek's domain whether or not he's still alive) - "Well, he does smell real bad. But he's a bit too big to fit in your pocket."
**'''"lantern"''' (at the signal lantern) - "Better not. There's an engraved plaque on it that says, "Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of 'You Die'."
**'''"mud"'''
***(when it's wet, before you fall in) - "You can't get the mud so much. More like the mud'll get you."
***(when it's wet, after you fall in) - "You've already gotten an heapin' helpin' all up on yo'self."
**'''"map"''' (at your cottage, after you've gotten it) - "Yeah but like you already map the took, guy!"
**'''"note"'''
***(at Jhonka's cave) - "It's been magically sealed to the door with a wondrously whimsical spell."
***(outside the inn) - "What is it with you and notes?! No!!"
**'''"old man rub"''' (in the inn) - "You disgust me."
**'''"paper"''' (in the inn) - "Naw, it might be important to that wrinkly old loon."
**'''"painting"''' (in the inn) - "Weird. It's actually painted right into the wall. Like, the frame and everything."
**'''"pebbles/rocks"'''
***(after you've gotten them) - "Come now. We've been through this jaunty little bit before. You took them from the half lake screen with the cattail and stuff."
***(from the opposite side of where you get the pebbles) "You do your best Mr. Fantastic impression, but you can't reach from here."
**'''"plague"''' (at the signal lantern) - "Wrong game, Mispeller Jones. Try the little button to the left of the 'W'."
**'''"plaque"''' (at the signal lantern) - "You have enough of that on your browning, rotten peasant teeth already."
**'''"pillow"'''
***(in the inn) - "Not a chance. There's even more questionable stains on that pillow than there are on that rug."
***(inside the woman's cottage) - "You don't have anywhere to use it and it is rather bulky, so you leave it."
**'''"pot"''' (in the inn, after you already have horse grease) - "You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood."
**'''"robe"'''
***(in Naked Ned's cottage, after you've gotten it) - "You still remember the time when you took them. Oh, the times have changed ... but the robes?"
***(in Naked Ned's cottage, when the drawer is closed) - "You reach into the closed drawer and nearly break your hand slamming it. Just like a bird on a pane of glass minus the blamelessness."
**'''"rock"'''
***(by the stream) - "For what? Now you're just making up puzzles to solve."
***(at the mud puddle) - "That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me."
***(outside Naked Ned's cottage, after moving it) - "You've already moved the stone out of the way to reveal a less-than peasant-sized hole."
**'''"rug"''' (in the inn) - "You're not touching that thing. Too many questionable stains on it."
**'''"stuff/food"''' (inside the woman's cottage) - "Which foodstuffs?"
**'''"target"''' (at the archery range) - "No. Those will fall on you and more than likely kill you."
*'''"give _____"'''
**'''"(anything not listed)"'''
***(inside the woman's cottage) - "We don't need that mess."
***(anywhere except for the woman's cottage) - "You don't need to give that now."
**'''"baby"'''
***(in the inn, before you get the baby) - "You have no baby nor any immediate prospects."
***(in the inn, when you already have the pills) - "You already milked that fogey for all the pills he's worth."
**'''"riches"'''
***(inside the woman's cottage, before getting the riches) - "'That's right,' she whines. 'Find my riches, and give here.'"
***(outside Jhonka's cave, before jumping in hay) - "The Jhonka will see you! And rip out your jugular with his teeth or something equally horrible."
***(inside the woman's cottage, after giving the riches) - "We did that already, and it was sort of humiliating."
**'''"trinket"'''
***(inside the woman's cottage) - " 'Did you find that thing in my yard?' she asks. 'I got that thing free in a box of Plaguezees. I need some FOR REAL riches!' "
***(inside woman's cottage after giving trinket to Mendelev) - "'Why are you holding your hand out?' she asks. 'I told you I need riches, so I can't give em away.' You don't have a trinket to give, you realize."
*'''"go _____"''' (anything or letter can be put in here) - "Use the arrow keys, pal. Just like a joypad only more like your day job."

===H===
*'''"haldo"'''
**(anywhere but in the hidden glen, before or after talking to Mendelev) - "That's totally not Dongolev."
**(in the secret glade before talking to Mendelev) - "What'd you read that in PQ Stragedy Guide? Go talk to my brother first."
**(in the secret glade after Dongolev leaves) - "Haldo?." you call out... "Hadloooooo"
**(at the archery Range after Dongolev has returned) - "HALDO!!"
*'''"hide in hay"''' (at the hay bale, before getting in) - "Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago."
*'''"hug tree"''' (at the hay bale) - "To every thing, turn, turn, turn. There is a season, turn, turn, turn."

===I===

===J===
*'''"jump in hay"'''
**(by the hay bale, when you're not muddy) - "Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago."
**(near the hay bale, when you're muddy but not right next to it) - "Who do you think you are, MJ? Try from a little closer."

===K===
*'''"kick/kill/punch poor gary"'''
**(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - "You attempt to cause Poor Gary harm for no good reason other than you kinda suck at this game. ''{Poor Gary kicks you}'' WOW! For a decrepit old horse, Poor Gary still packs a mean whallop. You dead. Thanks for playing." ''('''Warning:''' Needless to say, this kills you.)''
**(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - "Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go./Let go!"
*'''"kill _____"'''
**'''"flies"''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - "Those flies and that horse's butt have a symbiotic relationship. You have no right to disrupt that."
**'''"jhonka"''' (after he's outside) - "No way! Jhonka's are born scrappers. He may be little, but he'll crawl ya."
**'''"kerrek"'''
***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is present and you do not have the bow and arrow) - "With what?! You got no weapons except your butter-knife wit."
***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the arrow, but not the bow) - "With what?! You gonna throw that arrow at him?"
***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the bow, but not the arrow) - "With what?! You got no arrow, fool!"
***(after the Kerrek is dead) - "Yeah. You smote the Kerrek. You deserve a trophy full of Mutton-ums."
***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is not there) - "Good idea. But you kinda need the actual Kerrek to be here for that to work."
**'''"trogdor"''' (while Trogdor's asleep, in his lair) - "Like how?"
*'''"knock"'''
**(at the woman's cottage) - " 'It's open,' says a female voice from inside. Um, it's NOT open, but you get her drift."
**(at the woman's cottage, after she leaves) - No one answers. That crazy lady took off. How ever will you get past this closed door now?
**(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - "A gravelly voice inside yells, 'JUST US CHICKENS' '''or:''' 'NO FOR RENT' '''or:''' 'I GIVE LAST YEAR!' '''or:''' 'GAVE AT OFFICE' '''or:''' 'GO WAY!'"
**(at the inn, while it's closed) - "No answer."
**(at the inn, after it's been opened) - "Just open it, man!"
**(at Naked Ned's cottage) - "You could knock until your knuckles bleed. Nobody's home."
*'''"Knock until knuckles bleed"'''
**(at Naked Ned's cottage) - "You knock for about 4 hours until your knuckles are raw and bloody. That was fun!"
**(type it again at Naked Ned's cottage) - "You done that already. A great time was had by all."

===L===
*'''"light"'''
**'''"candle"''' (inside the inn, at night) - "It seems like you should be able to do that, doesn't it? Sorry. No dice."
**'''"lantern"'''
***(at the burninated trees before it is lit) - "With what? Your red-hot intellect?"
***(at the burninated trees after it is lit) - "Already lit, moron."
*'''"load"''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - "You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you."
*'''"look _____"'''
**'''(at anything irrelevant)''' - "You don't need to look at that."
**'''(at anything, while hiding inside the bale of hay)''' - "Right now, you see a bunch of hay."
**'''(at something previously in your inventory but now gone)''' - "You used to have one, before the great item blight of 402. Check your INVENTORY to read about it."
**'''(at something currently in your inventory)''' - "You've totally got one of those! Check your INVENTORY to give'r a serious looksee."
**'''"arrow"''' (at the hidden glen) - "Somebody call a tree doctor. Them puppies are stuck in there like a, um, er ... stuck pig."
**'''"baby"''' (inside the woman's cottage while she has the baby) - "Peasant babies are pretty freaking adorable. This little guy's no exception."
**'''"bed"''' (in the inn) - "Is that just a fitted sheet over a slab of concrete?"
**'''"bell"''' (in the inn) - "Tis broked."
**'''"belt"''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - "Yecch. I wouldn't touch that unless it was, like, an important quest item or something."
**'''"berries"'''
***(at the west side of the lake) "Shut up."
***(outside the woman's cottage) - "Crunch berries maybe."
**'''"boat/dinghy"'''
***(at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - "Keep your eyes off my dinghy!"
***(at the fisherman's lake after he is gone) - "It was loaned out to the [[Fishing Challenge '91|Fishing Challenge videogame]]."
**'''"bone/skeleton/skull"''' (at the top of the cliff for the bone and skull and in Trogdor's outer sanctum for the skeleton) - "You can't be sure but you think those are dead person bones."
**'''"broom"''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - "The broom is all black and artistic, implying perhaps that it is closer to the viewer's eye but unlit to avoid emphasis."
**'''"bush"''' (at the west side of the lake) - "Don't worry about that bush. Yeah, there's red berries on it but never you mind."
**'''"bushes"'''
***(outside the woman's cottage) - "You suspect they might be crunch berry bushes."
***(in the hidden glen) - "There's some thick 'ol bushes up in this hidden glen."
**'''"candle"''' (in the inn after getting a room) - "That candle's not at all on fire."
**'''"cave"'''
***(at the Jhonka's cave) - "Just a little cave. Calm down."
***(at the top of the cliff) - "The cave entrance beckons to you like a hot mutton sandwich might."
**'''"chair"''' (inside the woman's cottage) - "One of those self-rocking kind. Not bad for a brown-collar peasant-type. Must be trickle-down in action."
**'''"club/turkey leg"''' (at the Jhonka's cave when he's outside) - "Turkey leg or no, it looks like the Jhonka's been gnawing on it."
**'''"cottage"'''
***(at the yellow tree) - "You see a cottage in the distance. You hold your fingers up to one eye and pretend to squash it."
***(outside Naked Ned's cottage) - "A run-of-the-mill, non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy."
***(outside the woman's cottage) - "You had a cottage once. A lot like this one. *sniff* Trogdor will pay!"
***(at your burninated cottage) - "All your baubles and trinkets, your flasks and scrolls, your goblets and staffs! BURNINATED!!"/(if you haven't gotten the map yet) "Looks like there's a piece of unburninated paper on the ground."
**'''"crank"'''
***(at the well before putting pebbles in the bucket) - "It looks rusted in place."
***(at the well after putting pebbles in the bucket) - "That is a bonafide crank. It seems to work now."
**'''"curtain/beads"''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - "That thing's awesome. You always wanted one for your dorm room but your roommate was a total drag and said no."
**'''"desk"'''
***(at the archery range) - "It says 'archery' on it. My wife's drunk."
***(inside the inn) - "There's a broken bell and a piece of parchment on there."
**'''"door"'''
***(outside the inn) - "Just a door. A door with a note on it."
***(in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - "A wicked beaded curtain hangs in the doorway."
***(outside the woman's cottage) - "Listen to you, "look door" What kinda gaming is that? It's a door and it's closed."
**'''"drawer/dresser"''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage)
***(while the drawer is closed) - "This dresser needs a good wipe down with new Indenture(tm), the dust busting miracle spray. There is an especially enticing top drawer that is currently closed."
***(after opening the drawer) - "This dresser needs a good wipe down with new Indenture(tm), the dust busting miracle spray. There is a drawer openand there are some brown lumpy clothes in it."
***(after taking the robe) - "This dresser needs a good wipe down with new Indenture(tm), the dust busting miracle spray. There is a drawer open, but it's empty."
**'''"feed"''' (inside the woman's cottage) - "Cool Ranch. Your old favorite."
**'''"fence"'''
***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - "A particularly rickety peasant-issue fence. Trogdor uses bits of these as toothpicks."
***(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - "It's got a big ol' hole in it. For walking through."
***(by haystack/Jhonka's cottage/Naked Ned's cottage) - "A standard peasant fence. Trogdor makes milk's meat outta these things."
***(at the hidden glen) - "Wow! There's a hole in it on THIS side too!"
**'''"flies"''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - "A cloud of buttflies fly around the horse's butt."
**'''"footprints/tracks"'''
***(when the Kerrek is present) - "It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!"
***(when the Kerrek is not present) - "If you weren't a simpleton you might think these were Kerrek prints. But since you are a simpleton, you just go, 'Yay! Piggies!' "
**'''"ground"'''
***(at your burninated cottage) - "Hey, it's your old fireproof map to Peasantry."
**'''"hay"'''
***(at the hay bale) - "It reminds you of a warm, safe place where as a child you'd hide."
***(inside the woman's cottage) - "Hay is for horses!"
**'''"hole"'''
***(at Naked Ned's cottage, before deploying baby) - "You peer into the tiny opening. The cottage appears to be empty."
***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after deploying baby) - "There is no baby here, but there's an open door on the other side of the room. If you could only get to it somehow!"
**'''"horse"''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - "This bag o' bones looks like he's headed for the glue factory. He's got the name 'Poor Gary' branded onto his hide."
**'''"in hay"''' (at the hay bale) - "You search and search through the haystack. Nope. No needles."
**'''"in well"''' (at the well) - "It's dark and welly in there. Smell like stank too."
**'''"inn"''' (outside the inn) - "Looks okay from out here. But do they have a free breakfast buffet?"
**'''"jhonka"''' (at the Jhonka's cottage when he's outside) - "The Jhonka is gray and grody. He's got a cromagnon forehead and jaw with a pair of wicked incisors. He sports an old loin-cheese cloth and carries either a big club or one of those roasted turkey legs you got at the Ren Fest."
**'''"kerrek"'''
***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - "It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!"
***(immediately after killing him) - "He dead. And the only thing of value on him is his stinky belt buckle."
***(immediately after taking the belt) - "He dead."
***(while he's decomposing) - "He dead. You didn't think he could have smelled any worse? Well, guess what: He smells worse."
***(when he's all bones) - "He dead. He wasn't fat, he was just big boned! Poor pig-man."
**'''"knight/man/dude/guy"''' (at the mountain pass) - "He looks way cooler than you."
**'''"lady/woman"'''
***(inside the woman's cottage, while she's still there) - "Typical pasty peasant woman, overbearing and judgemental. Obsessed with goods and land."
***(inside the woman's cottage, after she's gone) - "I can't believe you thought you had a chance with her!/Dork!"
**'''"lake"''' (at the fisherman's lake) - "Why it's half a lake."
**'''"lake/water"''' (at the lake with pebbles) - "It extends onto the next screen and has a sandy shore."
**'''"lantern"'''
***(while unlit; at the burninated trees) - "It's unlit at the moment. That fancy pants royal knight probably lights it on nights when Troggie's on the prowl."
***(while lit; at the burninated trees) - "It's lit! Musta been a Trogdor sighting tonight."
**'''"lightning"''' (at the top of the cliff) - "Scary. Like Auntie Gerelda's crow's feet."
**'''"man"''' (in the inn) - "He's an older peasant with big cotton swabs stuffed up his nose. Oh wait. Those are nose hairs. Grody."
**'''"man/guy/peasant/old guy/old man"''' (at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - "An older peasant sits silently in a boat with his line in the water."
**'''"ned"''' (at the wavy tree, when Naked Ned is peeking out) - "A fairly naked man is peering out from behind that tree."
**'''"openings"''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - "They're mysterious and out of reach. Like girls were to you in high school."
**'''"painting"''' (in the inn) - "It's a painting of dogs playing 'Magic: The Nerdening.'"
**'''"paper"'''
***(in the inn) - "It says, 'Note to self: Wave arms wildly!'"
***(at your burninated cottage) - "Hey, it's your old fireproof map to Peasantry."
**'''"pillow"'''
***(in the inn) - "If you sleep in that bed, you're NOT putting your head on that nasty pillow."
***(in the woman's cottage) - "Swedish foam. Your favorite."
**'''"pot"''' (in the inn after getting a room) - "It's full of horse grease. I guess that sounds useful."
**'''"rock"'''
***(by the stream) - "The ages have worn this rock down. It is a rock of ages. Still a-rollin."
***(at the mud patch) - "That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me."
***(at Naked Ned's cottage before removing it) - "There appears to be a loose stone towards the back of the cottage."
***(at Naked Ned's cottage after removing it) - "Some jerk removed a loose stone from the back of the cottage."
**'''"rug"''' (in the inn) - "Maybe that used to be a magic carpet. But it's sure a cat pee-stained carpet now."
**'''"sand"'''
***(at the fisherman's lake) - "One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty two... One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty three... Drat! You lost count again."
***(at the west side of the lake after getting the pebbles) - "Remember those pebbles on the beach? Man, those were good times."
**'''"shelf"''' (inside the woman's cottage) - "Nothing but a bag of chicken feed."
**'''"sign"'''
***(at the mountain pass) - "What that sign there? That sign says 'Trogdor.'"
***(outside the inn) - "If you can't read that sign, you need to quit playing this game."
**'''"stump"'''
***(at the burninated trees) - "NOT a good place to sit."
***(at Poor Gary's glen) - "You run out of ideas as to what to do next, and stare at the stump."
**'''"target"''' (at the archery range) - "Hey, they had those same targets at Peasant Scout Camp!"
**'''"tree"'''
***(at the burninated trees) - "Severely burninated. They could probably use some salve."
***(at the hay bale) - "It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown!"
***(at the hidden glen) - "Dude, and then the elf, like, totally climbed up it. It was awesome!"
***(at the waterfall) - ""You see some trees in the distance. You hold your fingers up to one eye and pretend to squash it."
***(at the wavy tree) - "It's weird and wavy."
***(at the well) - "That's one orange tree alright."
***(at the yellow tree) - "You're really hurtin' for puzzle solutions, huh?"
**'''"trees"''' (anywhere) - "You are an incredibly boring person."
**'''"trogdor"'''
***(in Trogdor's lair, while he's asleep) - "Holy crap! Trogdor's way bigger in person than he looks in most tapestries you've seen. All of the sudden, losing your cottage doesn't seem so bad anymore."
***(in Trogdor's lair, when he's awake) - "Trogdor is looming menacingly over you with a tiny wee sword stuck in his belly. He looks like he's gonna kill you really soon."
***(at mountain pass) - I know it's labeled 'Trogdor,' but it's really just a sign, silly. I mean, attack it if you want...
**'''"water"''' (by the stream) - Got a rock in it.
**'''"waterfall"''' (at the waterfall) - "Upon closer inspection, you discover it's not magical. That's just mist, not magic sparkles or anything."
**'''"well"''' (at the well) - "Pretty average. You're not a big well person. You're more into bridges. It does have a cute little bucket though. Your dad liked buckets. Oh, and there's a metal crank too. Meemaw loved cranks."
**'''"window"'''
***(outside the inn) - "Check it out! There's an INN in there."
***(inside the inn) - "Check it out! There's a Peasantry out there!"

===M===
*'''"make friends with kerrek"''' - "Look, it didn't work for Strongbad and it's not gonna work for you either." (As seen in [[for kids]])
*'''"make wish"''' (at the well) - "This isn't that kind of well. This is a plaguewater well."
*'''"map"''' (before you find the map; anywhere) - "We are neither confirming nor denying the presence of a map in this game, but irridisregardless, you don't have one."

===N===

===O===
*'''"open _____"'''
**'''"door"'''
***(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - "It's locked. With one o' them SCHLAGE deadbolts, too. Those things are hard core."
***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - "How? There's no knob."
***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - "It's already open. Since this is an adventure game we're gonna proffer you adventure yourself on in there."
***(at the inn, while it's closed) - "It's locked fast!"
***(inside the inn, before getting a room) - "'That's the pantry,' says the Innkeeper. 'Employees only.'"
**'''"drawer"'''
***(in Naked Ned's cottage when it's open) - "Yeah, totally! Except it's already open you moron."
***(in Naked Ned's cottage after getting the robe and closing the drawer) - "You already closed it, which was nice, and so we gave you some points. Let sleeping drawers lie."

===P===
*'''"party"''' (anywhere) - "You are part of the Whig party. They are making gangrene-awareness their number one campaign priority."
*'''"pet horse/poor gary"''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - "Aww, that's sweet. Poor Gary tries in vain to bite your arm off."
*'''"play game"''' (at the archery range, before saying "haldo" to Dongolev) - "The gallery's not open and you got no bow or arrows, Cupid."
*'''"pull/push door"''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) - "It doesn't budge, man."
*'''"put _____"'''
**'''"baby"''' (at the well) - "Where you wanna toss em?"
**'''"baby in bucket/well"''' (at the well, before getting the baby) - "Hmmmm... A baby, eh? You check your sundial. Babies-R-Us is probably closed by now."
**'''"baby in bucket"'''
***(too far from bucket) - "You're not that keen a shot. Try standing a little closer."
***(after getting the sub) - "Li'l tyke seems to enjoy the ride, but - thin or not - we've got a plot to advance here."
**'''"(anything else) in bucket"''' - "That's not heavy enough to weigh down the bucket."
**'''"baby in well"'''
***(at the well with the baby) - "Jeez man! At least put the poor little guy in the bucket! Give him a fighting chance!"
**'''"pebbles"''' - "Where you wanna toss em?"
**'''"pebbles/rocks in bucket"'''
***(at the well, when you don't have them) - "Find some pebbles first and you might have the makings of a good idea. About time."
***(after getting the maskus) - "We've already been through this exercise and it went pretty well, ya?"
**'''"pebbles/rocks in well"'''
***(at the well, when you have them) - "Then it'd be tough to get them back. You never go ANYWHERE without your rocks"
***(at the well, when you don't have them or after you've gotten the maskus) - "Riiight, right. Which ones?"
*'''"[[pwd]]"''' - Prints on-screen your location as a (fake) directory.

===Q===
*'''"quit"''' - "Well fine Boring Sanders! Hope you saved your game cause it is OVER between us!" ''('''Warning:''' The game actually does quit.)''

===R===
*'''"ride horse/poor gary"''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - "Naw, snapping horse spines just doesn't seem as cool as it did in high school."
*'''"ring bell"''' (in the inn) - "Instead of ringing or dinging, it just goes DUNG."

===S===
*'''"search bush"'''
**(the same bush twice outside the woman's cottage) - "You already searched that bush. It was okay. Nothing to write home about... oh, wait... you don't have a home. My b."
**(after you've gotten the trinket, outside the woman's cottage) - "You've searched your fill of berry bushes for this game. If you want to search more press 'reload' on the browser"
*'''"save"''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - "You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you."
*'''"scare horse"''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before getting the mask) - "You tell Gary the "THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!" one but he doesn't act very scared. He's probably heard it before." '''or:''' "You tell Gary about how much cholesterol is in hay and how his arteries are probably all black and clogged. He shrugs it off." '''or:''' "You tell Gary the story about the kid who pops this big zit he has and all these baby spiders come out. It doesn't phase him."
*'''"sit on stump"''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - "Are you THAT bored?! Do some questing already!"
*'''"skip stones"''' (at the west side of the lake) - "You've always been terrible at skipping stones. And you're even worse at just plain throwing rocks in lakes. You decide to save yourself the embarrassment."
*'''"slay trogdor"''' (while Trogdor's asleep, in his lair) - "Like how?"
*'''"sleep _____"''' (can be followed by anything or nothing) (inside the woman's cottage) - "That's probably how the first baby got here. Forget it."
*'''"sleep/sleep on bed"''' (in the inn while the man is there) - "You probably want to talk to that stinky old guy over there about that."
*'''"smell/sniff"''' (anywhere) - "Smells like a computer game."
*'''"swim"'''
**(at the rock in the river) - "Peasants can't swim. Like, it's illegal."
**(at the waterfall) - "That waterfall would probably churn you into one of those weight-gain protein smoothies."
**(at the west side of the lake) - "Not in this game, Swimmer [[Dan]]! In this game, you drown."

===T===
*'''"talk"'''
**(at the archery range, while away from or behind the desk) - "Why don't you saddle up to the front of the table there, cowboy?"
**(at the archery range, after beating the minigame) - "Go away!" says Dongolev. "We're arguing about who's hotter," adds Mendelev.
**(at wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- "You startled him and he disappears!"
*'''"talk ____"'''
**'''(someone not in the screen, inanimate, or nonexistent; anywhere)''' - "It's sad when you have to make up people to talk to."
**'''"baby"''' (inside the woman's cottage, before you get the baby) - "You say some cute, stupid stuff and the baby just blows snot bubbles."
**'''"gary"''' (at Poor Gary's glen when he's there) - "Your attempts at conversation are met with horse grunts and tail flaps. Which is better than you do at conversation with most people."
**'''"jhonka"''' (while inside the hay) - "Not now! You'll blow your cover!"
**'''"kerrek"''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - "'Me llamo Julio,' you begin... It seems only to further anger the already tempramental Kerrek. That stupid 'Learn Kerrek in 3 Weeks' cassette did nothing for you!"
**'''"lady"''' (inside the woman's cottage after she's gone) - "You'd call out her name and let it ring through the empty room, enveloping you in sorrow, but you don't actually know her name."
**'''"Naked Ned"''' (at the wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- "'Never speak of this meeting!' says the nudie and he disapperars."
**'''"tree"''' (at the wavy tree) - "Trees can't talk but a breeze picks up and you swear the leaves whisper the words 'Naked Ned.' Weird."
**'''"trogdor"''' (in Trogdor's lair while he's asleep) - "You yell some choice expletives at Trogdor but he doesn't wake up. There's a cool echo, though."
**'''"well"''' (At the well) "You yell into the well and enjoy the echo. Keep in mind there are no stereos yet."
*'''"this sucks"''' (anywhere) - "Come now. Don't get discouraged."
*'''"throw _____"'''
**(anything but the feed; at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - " 'That isn't gonna work for bait!' the old man screams, at a needlessly harsh volume."
**(feed or baby; at south side of lake, either side) - "Maybe try again from the center of the lake. Looks deeper there."
**(anything; when the fisherman is gone) - "You already fed the fish. Let's get moving, here, people!"
**'''"baby"'''
***(anywhere but the west side of the lake) - "Hmmm. Maybe try someplace else."
***(at the well) - "Throw it where?"
***(at the west side of the lake before getting the baby) - "I think you misread the walkthrough on GameFAQs. You gotta get the baby first."
***(at the west side of the lake after getting the soda) - "Baby Dashing is a little waterlogged from the toss, and you read his soft gurgling to mean that there's no more soda left."
***(anywhere without the baby) - "You don't even have two babies to rub together."
**'''"feed"'''
***(at the east side of the lake before getting the feed) - "You have nothing with which to do that...with."
***(at the east side of the lake after throwing the feed) - "You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!" (The repetition is probably just a goof.)
*'''"try"''' - (at Naked Ned's cottage) - "Okay, fine. You try to cut off your hard-earned extremities. It doesn't work. You dead. Thanks for nothing." ''('''Warning:''' You die.)''
*'''"turn crank"'''
**(at the well, before getting the pebbles, on the other side of the screen) - "You can't reach from there."
**(at the well, before getting the pebbles) — "It won't budge. Maybe if there was something heavy in that bucket..."
**(at the well, after you get the maskus, on the other side of the screen) - "You got a short reach to match your short pants. Try standing closer to that crank."
**(at the well, after you get the maskus) - ''{first time}'' "Down she goes! You could do this all day!" ''{second time}'' "The drama grips you, but the bucket is empty. On the bright side, you're getting a pretty sweet workout for your Deltoidus Rex muscles."

===U===
*'''"use/deploy baby"'''
**(at Naked Ned's hut, before getting the baby) - "Swell idea, but is you ain't my baby? I.e. you ain't got one?"
**(at Naked Ned's hut, before moving the stone) - "Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm."
**(at Naked Ned's hut, after the baby has left) - "Li'l P.B. has moved on, and the door seems to be open... I can't see why we'd go through this all over again."
*'''"use pebbles"''' (at the well) - "What do you propose to do with them? Discuss."

===V===

===W===
*'''"wake up trogdor"''' - "'Troggie...', you murmur. 'Troggie, wake up it's time for Burnination school.' He's not budging."
*'''"wear _____"'''
**'''"belt"''' (after getting the belt) - "You're already wearing it. Too bad you smell like the trash barge off Peasant Isle."
**'''"mask"'''
***(anywhere but Poor Gary's glen) - "Not on this screen. You've got your image to think about. Actually, you might want to start deliberating on that right now."
***(in Poor Gary's glen after scaring him) - "Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go./Let go!"
**'''"robe"'''
***(if the robe is not in your inventory) - "You don't have anything but your 'Scalding Lake' t-shirt. And pants. Forgot to mention the pants."
***(if you are already wearing the robe) - "You're already in the old skool robe. Represent."
*'''"what the f—"''' ''([[Swears|uncensored version]])'' (anywhere) - "Come now. Don't get discouraged."
*'''"where"''' (anywhere) - "You're hanging out in ''{location}''."
*'''"why"''' (anywhere) - "I wish I knew."

===X===

===Y===
*"'''Yes'''" (to the Jhonka when he asks you about his riches) - "'I KILL YOU!!' screams the Jhonka. ''{The Jhonka clubs you to death}'' Club or turkey leg, the jhonka sure just beat you senseless with whatever he was holding. You dead. Thanks for playing!" ''('''Warning:''' Obviously, you will die.)''

===Z===

===Action Based===
'''Warning:''' All of the below will kill you.

*'''(Walk too close to the Kerrek)''' - ''{The Kerrek pounds your head into the ground}'' Your mom always told you not to take head poundings from strange Kerreks. And NOW looks what's happened. You dead. Thanks for playing.
*'''(Walk in the path of Dongolev's arrows)''' - Hopefully this guy will have some sense and not shoot you. ''{Dongolev shoots you in the head}'' That guy has no sense. He shot you. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Nice one, William Tell. You dead. Thanks for playing.
*'''(Leave the screen after putting the baby in the bucket)''' - Nice try. Ditch the baby at the bottom of the well, eh? Thought you'd be able to just walk away and it's nothing by mead and wenches from now on, huh? Well guess what? You dead. Thanks for playing.
*'''(Hit by rock or pterodactyl when climbing the cliff)''' - ''{You fall to the ground and lie in a heap}'' Oops! You climbed real bad. You knew that you were AVOIDING the rocks, right? Not collecting them. Anyways, nice try. You dead. Thanks for playing.
*'''(Walk too close to Trogdor while he's asleep)''' - ''{Trogdor burninates you without waking up}'' Yow. Looks like you got a little too close. You dead. Maybe next time don't get too close.

{{Peasant's Quest}}
[[Category:Peasant's Quest]][[Category:Lists]][[Category:Video Game Responses]]

On Break

2019-07-31T06:50:50Z

President Cold One: /* Explanations */ Strong Bad's Not Even a Mother

{{toonnav|Shorts|onbreak|Compy Catalog|The Animated Adventures of Puppet Homestar}}
[[Image:Mascots.png|thumb|"What is up, my fellow sweat factories?"]]

Three costumed mascots take a break and share their experiences.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{film|Strong Bad}}, {{film|Coach Z}}, {{film|Homestar Runner}}, CGNU Freshmen, {{film|Pom Pom}}, {{film|Bubs}}, Child, {{film|The Announcer}}, {{film|Matt Chapman}} (voice only), {{film|Mike Chapman}} (voice only)

'''Places:''' [[The Field]], [[Crazy Go Nuts University]], [[Bubs' Concession Stand]], [[The Athletic Field]], [[Strong Bad's Mount Ridesplace! USA]] (Easter egg)

'''Date:''' Monday, August 24, 2009

'''Running Time:''' 2:24

'''Page Title:''' Thinking Mascots Union Local 282

==Transcript==
''{Short opens with pan down to the field. Cut to a close-up of the Tragic Clown Dog's face. Zoom out to a medium shot of Strong Bad's face visible in an open flap of the costume, taking a drag off what appears to be a cigarette and exhaling audibly. Coach Z, wearing the Drive-Thru Whale costume, enters screen right.}''

'''COACH Z:''' Well, hey there, fellow mascot! I didn't know you was the smokin' type!

''{Cut to a close-up of Strong Bad}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{whisperingly}'' Shh! I'm not! ''{normally}'' But Bubs only gives me one of each kind of break. I've already used pee, coffee, and maternity leave today. And this is a white crayon.

''{Cut to a medium shot. Homestar Runner enters screen left, wearing the Jolly Dumple costume.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What is up, my fellow sweat factories?

'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, I didn't know ''you'' were working today.

''{Close up of Homestar.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, it's freshman orientation. I'm in charge of orienting them freshly!

''{Cut to Homestar in the field with the CGNU tower visible in the back, and silhouettes of freshmen in the front. The words of Homestar's song are shown at the bottom of the screen, with a ball bouncing as he sings each word.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{singing}'' You're gonna have to 
share a bafroom 
with some kid from Alabama 
that kinda sucks. 
The financial aid office 
is closed on Tuesdays 
and steer clear of the 
beef stroganoff at the 
dining hall!

''{Close-up of Homestar.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' C! G! N! ...U! ''{whispering}'' And then, and then you guys all say "Me?"

''{Cut back to medium shot.}''

'''FRESHMEN:''' ''{mumbling}'' No way, no way.

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Ah, that's good, that's good. ''{dancing, quietly}'' We got spirit!

''{Cut back to Homestar and Strong Bad.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' At least you get college kids! I got little snot-butted kids messing with my costume all day!

''{Pan over to Coach Z.}''

'''COACH Z:''' I used to have that prablem, too, but now I just swallow 'em up and spit 'em out in the baall baath! ''{throws several colored balls out from the mouth of his costume}''

''{Close-up of Coach Z. The top of his costume gains and loses bumps as an unseen child stuck in the costume knocks on it.} ''

'''CHILD:''' Mommy! Mommy! I don'— can't see!

'''COACH Z:''' Oop! Looks like I forgot one. He'll be fine for at least a week.

''{Cut back to medium shot of all three.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, where's Pom Pom, anyway?

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, P-squared's not in the union. He doesn't even get a break.

''{Cut a low shot of Pom Pom strapped to the roof of Bubs' Concession Stand, with a sign that reads "RIGHT CAR! RIGHT PPICE!"}''

'''BUBS:''' What is wrong with you? Attract more customers! ''{Cut to an inflatable gorilla with glasses behind the [[Gremlin]] with a sign that reads "YOUR TEXT HERE!"}'' That gorilla's pulling his own!

''{Cut back to a close-up of Homestar}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{sniffing}'' Man, what ''is'' that smell?

''{Cut to a shot of all three}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Uh, Homestar, we're three grown men working in mascot costumes in the dead of summer! What ''isn't'' that smell? ''{close up of Strong Bad}'' I can name about forty different odors emanating from this thing right now. There's death, rot, decay—

''{Cut to close up of Coach Z}''

'''COACH Z:''' Damp, moist, kimchi!

''{Cut to a close up of Homestar}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{holding yellow alarm clock, which rings once}'' Ah! It's time. ''{shot of all three}'' Let's do this.

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{as Homestar and Coach Z walk off}'' Ugh, not again....

''{Cut to a close-up of a speaker on a wooden pole}''

'''THE ANNOUNCER:''' That's right, ladies and gentlemen! ''{Cut to a shot of The Announcer in the booth}'' For your between-inning unjoyment, it's the Bumbling Mascot Race Around the Field!

''{Matt and Mike sing "Yakety Sax" while Coach Z, Homestar, and Strong Bad move randomly around a baseball diamond.}''

''{Cut to the inflatable gorilla with a sign that reads "The Ending Here!"}''

'''MATT:''' Does it end different?

'''MIKE:''' I dunno. Let's do it again.

==Easter Eggs==
*Click on the Gorilla's mouth at the end to see an animation of a video game with the mascots.
*:''{A black screen with "GAME START!" appears. The mascots run around on platforms and ladders, referencing the old video game 'Burger Time', while Mike and Matt hum the theme music. Eventually, Mike stops humming. "GAME OVER" flashes on screen.}''
*:'''MATT:''' Go longer.
*:''{Mike starts and stops again}''
*:'''MATT:''' No, I mean you stopped longer.

*Click on the word "Here!" at the end to see Homestar and Coach Z (as Poppy and Stoppy, respectively, from [[theme park]]) have a conversation at Mount Ridesplace, USA. Music plays and a pink border is present.
*:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Man, these mascot costumes in Strong Bad's imagination are ''way'' better than the real-life ones!
*:'''COACH Z:''' Boy, I'll say! Mine's got a minibar and air conditionin'!
*:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' My ol' Dumple costume had air conditioning. It conditioned the air to think it smelled like... dead zut.

==Fun Facts==

===Explanations===
*[[Wikipedia:Kimchi|Kimchi]] is a pickled Korean dish made with beef stock, cabbage, and hot peppers, and is known for its distinctive pungent smell and mildly spicy taste.
*Mascots or other costumed figures are featured at [[Wikipedia:Sausage Race|several]] [[Wikipedia:Presidents Race|ballparks]] racing around the field between innings during baseball games.
*[[Wikipedia:Maternity leave in the United States|Maternity leave]] is a cleared leave of absence from work given to women who are about to give birth to or adopt a child. In the United States, under the Family Medical Leave Act, an unpaid leave of up to 12 weeks can be taken.

===Trivia===
*The [[FeedBurner Page#Short - On Break|RSS description]] of this toon is:<blockquote>'''Matt says''' - When you unintentionally create [[HR:sbemail73.html|three different]] [[HR:sbemail121.html|giant foam]] [[HR:blubbos.html|mascot costumes]] several years apart, you KNOW you're doing something right. Mike and I were walking from the car place to Oga's on a very pedestrian unfriendly highway when we wrote most of this short. There were lotsa car dealerships though, with all types of undualting, inflatable eye-catchers to help inspire us. Mike lost his flip flop crossing the 8-lane street and had to wait for the light to change to run back and get it. </blockquote>

===Remarks===
*The collar and tie on Strong Bad's costume have been moved down since their last appearance, to make room for the door.
*Although Strong Bad denies being a [[Smoking|smoker]], he's been seen smoking a cigar in a [[Store Thank You Message]].
**In consideration that the costumes are likely made from [[Polymascotfoamalate]], smoking in one would be potentially dangerous (more so than usual), as seen in [[4 branches]]; however, only the Jolly Dumple costume is known to be made of Polymascotfoamalate.
*Strong Bad indicates that he, Homestar, and Coach Z are grown men; a rare clue as to [[Ages of Characters|their relative ages]].
*Just as it was in [[Blubb-O's Commercial]], the Gremlin's passenger-side window is completely opaque and gray.
*When the scene cuts back to the three mascots after the gorilla balloon, the "ball bath" balls have disappeared.
*When Strong Bad runs around at the end of the toon and in the Easter egg, the door on his costume [[Flipped Images|switches sides]] whenever he turns around. However, the animation in these sequences seems to be intentionally poor.
*Even though Strong Bad says his "cigarette" is a white crayon, its tip seems to be smoking.
*Strong Bad has a much easier time walking in his costume than he did in [[part-time job]].

===Goofs===
*When Homestar is holding his alarm clock, there is a very thin white gap between the black border and the bottom of the green background.
*As Homestar walks away from Strong Bad, he vanishes shortly before he has walked completely offscreen.

===Inside References===
*The various costumes:
**Strong Bad appears as the [[Tragic Clown Dog]], seen in [[part-time job]]. (At the end of that email, however, he quit working for Bubs.)
**Coach Z appears as the [[Drive-Thru Whale]], from [[Blubb-O's Commercial]].
**Homestar once more wears his [[Jolly Dumple]] costume, first seen in [[mascot]]. (The sing-along style of Homestar's song, as well as the ending, are also references to this email.)
**In an Easter egg, Coach Z and Homestar appear as [[Strong Bad's Mount RidesPlace! USA#Mascots|Poppy]] the [[Tire]] and [[Strong Bad's Mount RidesPlace! USA#Mascots|Stoppy]] the [[Stop Sign]], who appeared in [[theme park]].
*The pink border in the [[Mount Ridesplace, USA]] Easter egg is from [[dreamail]].
*Strong Bad [[Smoking|smokes]] a white [[crayon]].
*The background music for Homestar's orientation song is the version of the CGNU Fight Song played by a high school band that was featured as the [[Quote of the Week#QW-2006-02-09|Quote of the Week]] on February 9, 2006.
*Strong Bad mentions "[[Peeing|pee]], [[coffee]], and [[Pregnancy|maternity leave]]" as the types of breaks he has taken that day.
*Homestar mentions [[sucks]] during his song.
*Coach Z mentions his smells as being [[moist]].
*"Kids from Alabama" were previously mentioned in [[An Important Rap Song]].

===Real-World References===
*The instrumental "[[Wikipedia:Yakety Sax|Yakety Sax]]" is [[The Brothers Chaps Singing|sung]] while the mascots race around the Athletic Field.
*The Easter egg activated by clicking the gorilla's mouth is a parody of [[Wikipedia:BurgerTime|BurgerTime]].
*The [[page title]] is a reference to the band [[Wikipedia:Thinking Fellers Union Local 282|Thinking Fellers Union Local 282]].
*When the kid shouts "Mommy! I don- can't see!", it may be a reference to the 1982 film [[Wikipedia:Poltergeist (film)|Poltergeist]], when Carol Anne shouts the same thing from inside another dimension.

==External Links==
{{extlinks|onbreak|15746}}

[[Category:Shorts]]

death metal

2019-07-27T07:52:13Z

President Cold One: /* Fast Forward */

{{sbenav|141}}
[[Image:Sbemail141.PNG|thumb|"...and let the evil flow forth."]]

Strong Bad instructs viewers on how to make an awesome [[Wikipedia:Death metal|death metal]] song.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}, [[Larry Palaroncini]], [[Brainkrieg]], {{Film|Strong Mad}}, [[Taranchula]], {{Film|Homestar Runner}} (Easter egg), {{Film|What's Her Face}} (Easter egg), {{Film|Cheerleader}} (Easter egg), [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#No "i" in team boy|No "i" in team boy]] (Easter Egg), [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Goblins|A Goblin]] (Easter Egg)

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[Basement of the Brothers Strong]]

{{Comp|Lappy 486}}

'''Date:''' Monday, January 16, 2006

'''Running Time:''' 3:48

'''Page Title:''' Lappy 486

{{dvd|strongbad_email.exe Disc Five}}, {{dvd|Sbemails' 50 Greatest Hits DVD|notitle=true}}

==Transcript==

'''STRONG BAD:''' Email, ah ooh, ooh, ooh ah ooh, email. ''{reading}''

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: death metal</div>
Dear Strong Bad, 
I'm in this death metal band at my school, and I am in need 
of some of your expert lyrical advice: what words sound 
really cool when you scream 'em at the top of your lungs? 
Dane 
Corvallis, OR 
</blockquote>

''{He says "Ding dong, string strong, bing bong" instead of "Dear Strong Bad."}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Whoa! You must go to a pretty cool school. Most schools just have a marching band or maybe a jazz ensemble. But a death metal band? That's extracurriculariffic! ''{clears screen}'' Now let's see, first, you'd better be ugly, Dane. Or fat. The gift of death metal does not smile on the good looking. If there's any doubt, go ahead and hot-glue some corn flakes to your face. That'll do the trick. Now, I'm no geographist, but I don't think Oregon is anywhere near Scandinavia, which seems to be the only place left where death metal will get you any chicks. ''{clears screen}'' As for lyrics, you've got it all wrong! Screaming words at the ''top'' of your lungs is for people with blond hair. Ya know, words like 'tonite,' 'wooh-mon,' and the name of any street in L.A. ''{types "run 'webcam'"}'' Check it out! ''{clears screen. A window with a camera shot of Larry Palaroncini pops up.}''

'''LARRY PALARONCINI:''' ''{sings the following lines, which appear below the shot under the screen name "ladeezluvlarry71"}'' tonight! wooh-mon! we'll be drivin' down Sepulveda with the t-top down?

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sarcastically}'' Thanks, Larry.

'''LARRY PALARONCINI:''' ''{the words continue to appear below Larry's image}'' no prob, Strong Bad. HEY! i'm gonna b online later on playing an MMORPG if you wanna join my guild!

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, maybe.

'''LARRY PALARONCINI:''' no wait! ''{the text "you kicked ladeezluvlarry71 offline" appears in red. The window closes.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' So for death metal, you want to scream from the bowels of your lungs. The bowels! Words like, ''{in a deep, sinister voice, and with the words in green, spooky letters}'' 'decay,' 'deranged,' 'decrepit,' and um, 'delouse.' In fact, you really can't go wrong with anything that starts with d-e. 'Cept for maybe

''{cut to the auditorium from [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 8]], with a singer, bassist, and drummer on stage}''

'''SINGER:''' Dentist!

'''BACK-UP:''' Jugga jigga wugga!

'''SINGER:''' Deli-style!

'''BACK-UP:''' Jugga jigga wugga!

''{cut back to the Lappy}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' ''{in Teen Girl Squad voice}'' That was Brainkrieg. They got last place. ''{in normal voice}'' So let's recap: ugly, Nordic, bowels, d-e words. Now all you gotta do is—

''{cut to Strong Mad in the Basement}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' — hunch all up on yourself, ''{Strong Mad gets down on his knee}'' pretend you're holding a mystical orb in each hand ''{Strong Mad holds out his hands and a circular outline appears in each}'' and let the evil flow forth.

''{The scene darkens. The circular outlines fade away. A drum beat begins.}''

'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{bounces up and down}'' DeVito. DE NIRO! DELUISE!! ''{cut back to the Lappy}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing, imitating drum beat}'' Broodle-broodle-broodle blap-biddle-baddle! Broodle-broodle-broodle blap-biddle-blap! Whoa! Boy, do I ever need a quadruple bass pedal. And now, let's watch how it all comes together on the Half-Hour Death Metal Dungeon Hour!

''{Cut to the TV in the basement, on which the text "Half-Hour Death Metal Dungeon [Hour]" is seen. Strong Bad sits on the couch. Taranchula appears on the screen, along with their logo.}''

'''TARANCHULA:''' ''{in pseudo-Scandinavian accents}'' Ja, we are Taranchula!

''{logo disappears}''

'''DAVE OLAFTENSTON:''' You just saw videos from Vinger, Schlaugh-ter and the Winnie Wincent Inwasion.

'''SCHENKEL MCDOO:''' Ja, now here's a sneak peek at our new wideo. ''{lifts tone as if asking a question}''

''{The TV cuts to the video. We see a screw on some rusty metal. Cut to another scene with rusty metal. Cut to a piece of beef slithering across rusty metal.}''

'''TARANCHULA:''' You will submit to the decoupage!

''{Cut to four screws, one of which moves around quickly.}''

'''TARANCHULA:''' The death nail! {{ref|deathknell}} (Death nail!)

''{Cut to the beef, which is stabbed by a nail and then bound with metal wires. The beef explodes.}''

'''TARANCHULA:''' Down with the decoupage!

''{Cut to the beef slithering over the rusty metal, this time in the opposite direction. Cut to Strong Bad on the couch.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Creeping... rusty... meat. Truly the heart and soul of all death metal. Except, now I feel like I really need to brush my teeth. Lookin' at all that rust. And beef. While I'm gone, complete this worksheet I've prepared for you aspiring death metal types. And, uh, careful with the hot-glue gun, Dane.

''{He goes offscreen to the right, while the worksheet floats to the front of the screen. The worksheet includes [[The Paper|The Paper's]] customary "Click here to email Strong Bad" link at the bottom.}''

===Footnote===
# {{note|deathknell}}This line might also be "death knell." A death knell is a church bell rung when somebody dies. The phrase is somewhat of a cliché in songs or poems about death. The phrase "death nail" might also be a pun on "death knell".

==Easter Eggs==
*Click on "fresh juice" at the end to see Homestar Runner come in looking for try-outs.
:''{Homestar Runner walks in, holding a box of corn flakes and with corn flakes glued to his face}''
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Uh, hello? Is anybody here? I'm, uh, here to try out for the, uh, jazz ensemble.
:*Click on "Corn Krunch" during the Easter egg to see a closeup of the [[Breakfast Cereal|cereal]] box which reads:<blockquote><big>'''Corn Krunch'''</big> Free Full-size alto saxophone inside!!!</blockquote>
[[Image:TGS-brainkrieg.png|thumb|"I come for the wuggas, but stay for the jiggy juggas."]]
*Click on "deafening" at the end to see an extra [[Teen Girl Squad]] scene.
:''{cut to the auditorium from Teen Girl Squad Issue 8 again, with the singer and back-up on stage}''
:'''SINGER:''' Deli-style!
:'''BACK-UP:''' Jugga jigga wugga!
:'''SINGER:''' De La Soul!
:'''BACK-UP:''' Jugga jigga wugga!
:''{Cut to What's Her Face and Cheerleader standing in the crowd. What's Her Face seems surprised and pleased to see Cheerleader}''
:'''WHAT'S HER FACE:''' Cheerleader! Are you here to see Brainkrieg?
:'''CHEERLEADER:''' ''{wearing a shirt that says "de"}'' I come for the wuggas, but stay for the jiggy juggas.
:'''BACK-UP:''' Jugga jigga wugga!

==Fun Facts==

===Explanations===
*[[Scandinavia]] is a group of countries in Northern Europe, comprising [[Wikipedia:Norway|Norway]], [[Wikipedia:Sweden|Sweden]], [[Wikipedia:Denmark|Denmark]] and [[Wikipedia:Iceland|Iceland]], where many successful Death and Black Metal bands originate from. Examples of accomplished Death Metal bands from the region include ''Dissection'', ''In Flames'' and ''Amon Amarth''. 
*[[Wikipedia:Sepulveda Boulevard|Sepulveda Boulevard]] is a major street in [[Wikipedia:Los Angeles, California|Los Angeles]].
*[[Wikipedia:MMORPG|MMORPG]] stands for "'''M'''assively '''M'''ultiplayer '''O'''nline '''R'''ole-'''P'''laying '''G'''ame", the most prominent examples of which are ''[[Wikipedia:Everquest|Everquest]]'' and ''[[Wikipedia:World of Warcraft|World of Warcraft]]''.  Many MMORPGs include the option to create or join an organized team of players, most often referred to as a guild.
*[[Wikipedia:Decoupage|Decoupage]] is the art of decorating an object by gluing colored paper bits onto it in combination with special paint effects, gold leaf, etc.
*Although there is no such thing as a quadruple bass pedal, a [[Wikipedia:Bass drum#Double bass|double bass pedal]] is a device used to play one bass drum with both feet, a technique which is practically mandatory for death metal drummers. In a particularly elaborate kit, such as that played by the drummer of [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Brainkrieg|Brainkrieg]], there might be two differently-tuned bass drums, each with a double pedal, for a total of four pedals; this could be what Strong Bad means.
*"Krieg" is [[German]] for "war", often seen as part of the compound word [[Wikipedia:blitzkrieg|blitzkrieg]].
*A [[Wikipedia:Deltoid muscle|deltoid]] is a thick triangular muscle covering the shoulder joint, used to raise the arm from the side.
**The term "deltoid" is also sometimes used to mean a [[Wikipedia:Geometric kite|geometric kite]].
*To [[Wikipedia:Denatured alcohol|denature]] is most commonly to render unfit to eat or drink without destroying usefulness in other applications, especially to add methanol to ethyl alcohol.
**[[Wikipedia:Denaturation (biochemistry)|Denaturation]] also refers to the process by which macromolecules (usually proteins) drastically change in properties, usually caused by change in heat or acidity. As a common example, cooking food is a form of denaturation.
*A "[[Wikipedia:T-top|T-top]]" is an automobile roof with removable panels and a central spine running along the top from the windshield to the aft structure of the car. Notable vehicles that had one either stock or as an option were the [[Wikipedia: Pontiac Firebird|Pontiac Firebird]] and some models of the [[Wikipedia: Chevrolet Corvette|Chevrolet Corvette]].
*Taranchula continuously pronounce W like a V and vice versa, which is common in Scandinavian languages.

===Trivia===
*This is the first time that Strong Bad has admitted to having teeth.
*When this email first came out, there was no "back" button at the end. This was fixed in a matter of minutes.
*This is one of the few emails to end without [[The Paper]].
*"Brainkrieg", "extracurriculariffic" and "geographist" are [[portmanteaus]].
*The AOL Instant Messenger screen name "ladeezluvlarry71" was registered by a fan after this email came out.
*The death metal worksheet is rendered exclusively in purple ink, suggesting it was produced by a [[Wikipedia:Spirit duplicator|spirit duplicator]]; this device, commonly called a "ditto machine", was in widespread use in public schools prior to the introduction of photocopiers. The worksheet features two hands on either side flashing the [[Wikipedia:Corna|corna]] and reads:
<blockquote>Death Metal Worksheet
 
Which words would NOT 
be good death metal lyrics? 
 
destruction 
decapitation 
delicious 
demonic 
fresh juice 
decaying 
deafening 
deteriorate 
deltoid 
deity 
devastation 
denature 
 
click here to email strongbad</blockquote>

*This is the first time that the entire band [[Taranchula]] appears, although Dave Bjornborg appeared in the video for "[[Moving Very Slowly]]".

*This email marks the fastest that Strong Bad has ever typed, at an average of 240 words per minute, during the quadruple bass pedal segment.
*The [[YouTube]] description for this email is "Strong Bad gives lessons in making a death metal song."

===Remarks===
*If Brainkrieg got last place in the "Battle of the Crappy High School Bands", it could be interpreted to say that they were the best.
*One of the members of Taranchula (Schenkel McDoo) is wearing the exact same pink shirt that [[Matt Chapman]] wears in the [[:Image:Videlectrix developers.png|promo photo]] for [[Videlectrix]].
*Dave Bjornborg's black hair has various red dots appear in it during his appearance. This is probably a transparency bug.
*Strong Bad uses a similar email greeting when he says "Ding dong dear Strong Bad" in [[japanese cartoon]].
*The space between "strong" and "bad" in Strong Bad's name is omitted on the end worksheet.
*The music that plays while Larry sings begins playing before Strong Bad even finishes typing the "run webcam" command.
*"Mort", as in the name "Mort Dougland", is derived from a Latin word (mors) meaning "[[death]]".
*When Strong Bad types the word "de-" words, the outline expanding around each word appears before he finishes typing it.
*When the VCR appears, the blinking "12:00" appears offset to the left with the "REC" symbol next to it. On the [[Character Videos|Characters]] page, however, the blinking "12:00" appears in the center.
*This email features a [[live action]] segment.


*Strong Bad says that screaming at the top of your lungs is for people with blonde hair; however, Scandinavian [[Wikipedia:Black metal|black metal]] utilizes this technique frequently.
*The Half Hour Death Metal Dungeon Hour featured videos from Winger, Slaughter, and the Vinnie Vincent Invasion. These bands are glam metal, not death metal.

===Goofs===
*When Strong Bad stands up at the end of the email, his legs are an abnormal gray color. As he walks away they, fluctuate independently between gray and the usual black.

===Inside References===
*Strong Bad's intro song is almost identical to that of [[mile]] in the [[Powered by The Cheat]] cartoon.
*The Teen Girl Squad Battle of the Crappy High School Bands is similar to the Battle of the Bands in [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 8]].
*The popup title "Video [[Thyme]]" is a reference to "Message Thyme" from [[marzipan]].
*The first reference to De la Soul came in [[50 emails]]. Homestar typed it when he was attempting [[DELETED]].
*The name of the director of the Taranchula video, Mort Dougland, is a reference to [[Teeg Dougland]].
*The growling riff that introduces the "[[Half-Hour Death Metal Dungeon Hour]]" accompanies the appearance of "Taranchula" in [[band names]].

*Dave Olaftenson is most likely played by [[Mike Chapman]], as he sounds very similar to PBtC Strong Bad in the Strong Bad Email [[mile]].
*Strong Bad says to hunch "[[all up on]]" yourself.
*Limozeen previously sang about a street in L.A. in [[Because, It's Midnite]]: "Sunset Strip, California, West Hollywood".

===Real-World References===
*[[De La Soul]] is a highly influential eclectic hip-hop group, matching activist lyrics with artistic [[Wikipedia:Jazz rap|jazz rap]] backings. Their second album, [[Wikipedia:De La Soul is Dead|De La Soul Is Dead]], is on [[Matt Chapman]]'s [[Matt Chapman#Favorite Music|favorite album list]].
*The Taranchula video seems to be inspired by the style and imagery of stop-motion animators [[Wikipedia:Brothers Quay|The Brothers Quay]], particularly their short film "The Street of Crocodiles" (which features self-mobile screws, meat, and a similar decrepit industrial setting). It is also reminiscent of a number of videos by the band [[Wikipedia:Tool (band)|Tool]], most notably for the song "Sober"; Tool guitarist Adam Jones, who created the videos, is strongly influenced by the Quays.
*Strong Mad's death metal lyrics are a reference to three film and television actors whose last names begin with "D-e": [[Wikipedia:Danny DeVito|Danny DeVito]], [[Wikipedia:Robert De Niro|Robert De Niro]], and either [[Wikipedia:Dom DeLuise|Dom]], [[Wikipedia:Peter DeLuise|Peter]], [[Wikipedia:Michael DeLuise|Michael]] or [[Wikipedia:David DeLuise|David DeLuise]].
*The "Winnie Wincent Inwasion" is in reference to the [[Wikipedia:Vinnie Vincent Invasion|Vinnie Vincent Invasion]]. Vinnie Vincent formed the Invasion after leaving [[Wikipedia:Kiss (band)|KISS]].
*"Schlaugh-ter" is probably meant to be a reference to [[Wikipedia:Slaughter (band)|Slaughter]], a hair metal band formed near the end of that genre's mass popularity. Interestingly enough, it was formed mostly out of former members of the Vinnie Vincent Invasion.
*"Vinger" is more than likely a reference to [[Wikipedia:Winger (band)|Winger]], an oft-ridiculed hair metal band most famous for songs such as "Headed for a Heartbreak".
*[[Wikipedia:MTV|MTV]] had a show called the Heavy Metal Half-Hour in 1987. It later became the Hard 30, then disappeared entirely.
**The "Half-Hour Death Metal Dungeon Hour" may also be a parody of "[[Wikipedia:Headbanger's Ball|Headbanger's Ball]]", a metal-oriented music-video segment on MTV that aired in the late 1980s up through 1994. Headbanger's Ball had a reputation for disappointing metal fans by claiming to play hardcore metal but often favoring videos by such pop-metal acts as [[Wikipedia:Mötley Crüe|Mötley Crüe]] and [[Wikipedia:Poison (band)|Poison]]. "Half-Hour Death Metal Dungeon Hour" also plays on the name of MTV's "Half-hour Comedy Hour".
*The "Video Thyme" player appears to parody [[Wikipedia:AOL Instant Messenger|AOL Instant Messenger]]'s video chat function.
*Dave Bjornborg's name is probably derived from the name of [[Wikipedia:Björn Borg|Björn Borg]], a famous tennis player. Borg was also mentioned in [[Sample of Style]].
*Strong Bad's suggestion of hotglueing cornflakes to one's face is a possible reference to alternative metal band [[Wikipedia:Mudvayne|Mudvayne]], whose guitarist once glued large triangular cornchips to his already-greasepainted face for a music video.
* The "bowels of your lungs" growl is a reference to the [[Wikipedia:Death growl|death growl]] used in various [[Wikipedia:Death metal|death metal]], [[Wikipedia:Grindcore|grindcore]], [[Wikipedia:Deathcore|deathcore]]/[[Wikipedia:Metalcore|metalcore]] and [[Wikipedia:Sludge metal|sludge metal]] bands. Singing from your gut is an actual death metal technique. [http://www.wikihow.com/Do-Harsh-Death-Metal-Vocals]

===Fast Forward===
*One of Brainkrieg's songs is a ringtone in the [[Homestar Ruiner Teen Girl Squad|Teen Girl Squad minigame]] of [[Homestar Ruiner]].
*Brainkrieg went on to make several more songs, including "If I Don't Get Video Games...", in [[Hooked On Decemberween]], and [[Decomposing Pumpkin]].

== DVD Version ==
*The DVD version features creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.
*Because of Strong Bad's extended email intro, the DVD version running time is 3:51.
*The signing-off sound effect does not play when Strong Bad shuts off Larry's window.
*The sound quality for both Easter eggs is inexplicably the same quality as on the website, rather than enhanced as with the rest of the DVD content.

===Commentary Transcript===

('''Commentary by:''' [[Strong Bad]], [[Mike Chapman]])

'''STRONG BAD:''' This is one of my all-time favorite styles, Mike.

'''MIKE:''' Uh, I'm not gonna be Mike, I'm gonna pretend to be Matt for this commentary.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Okay. That was kind of a very hip hop intro to a death metal email.

'''MIKE:''' ''{pretending to be Matt, sounding nothing like him}'' Yes it was!

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, what's up Matt?

'''MIKE:''' Not too much, I'm Matt Chapman!

'''STRONG BAD:''' Why do you sound like some type of super hero?

'''MIKE:''' Well, I think I am!

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, you ''think'' you are?

'''MIKE:''' ''{mumbles}'' I am!

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{laughing}'' You don't sound very sure of yourself.

'''MIKE:''' Strong Bad, I like this email a lot.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah.

'''MIKE:''' ''{stops pretending to be Matt}'' All right, I'm gonna stop.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Ryan was in the jazz ensemble, at his high school.

'''MIKE:''' I wish he was playing some jazz music for us right now.

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{makes a sound kind of like "baloongalatang"}''

'''MIKE:''' Baloongalatang.

'''STRONG BAD:''' That's my jazz guitar.

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughs}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' That's the best I could do. Um, I think Lemmy from Motörhead has cornflakes on his face.

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughs (in the middle of Strong Bad's previous line)}'' Definitely does.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah.

'''MIKE:''' Do you know what Lemmy's last name is?

'''STRONG BAD:''' Uh, Motorhelm.

'''MIKE:''' Killmeister.

'''STRONG BAD:''' That's right. That's the be— is that true?

'''MIKE:''' I don't know. I hope so.

'''STRONG BAD:''' That's awesome. If I could have a last name like— how could you not be that guy and be in Motörhead?

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, imagine if he was really good looking and a businessman. Named Lemmy Killmeister.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, there's no way he'd be successful.

''{[[Larry Palaroncini]] appears on Strong Bad's computer screen}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, this guy. This guy pops up all the time, on my Video Thyme. And tries to talk to me. He always tries to get me to play massively multiplayer overlord rock play games.

'''MIKE:''' You should change your screen name, I've had to do that before.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh.

'''MIKE:''' When people you don't want keep popping up and... yeah.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah. Like fourteen-year-old girls?

'''MIKE:''' Add a 2005 to your screen name.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Ohh.

'''MIKE:''' That'll— That'll trick 'em.

'''STRONG BAD:''' That's a good idea. ''{pause}'' Oh, man, this is the best feature of the Lappy. It knows what I means.

'''MIKE:''' And it can change the font and font color accordingly?

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, the Compy could do it too, I think.

'''MIKE:''' I think it did.

'''STRONG BAD:''' It did it with the Kerrek smote the Trogdor smote the Kerrek.

''{Brainkrieg appear on screen}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' The trog— Oh. These guys. Look at that— their drummer is out of place.

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughs}'' He's the only one that can play drums.

'''STRONG BAD:''' He's too happy. Yeah, clearly that's the only guy they could find. He's just like, "Well, I don't really listen to the music you guys play, but I'll do it! We're gonna be in the battle of the bands?"

'''MIKE:''' He's in, like, four bands. He's the only drummer at the school.

'''STRONG BAD:''' He looks like Joe Mama Besser from Spinal Tap.

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughs}'' Joe Mama Besser didn't make it very far.

'''STRONG BAD:''' I don't think he did.

''{pause}

''{Strong Bad makes surprised sounds}''

'''MIKE:''' You okay there?

'''STRONG BAD:''' No! It's hard to— to resist... the quadruple bass pedal. ''{pause}'' This is my favorite show.

'''MIKE:''' The hard 30?

'''STRONG BAD:''' The hard 30. Ozzy Ozzy 'ard N Heavy!

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, remember those Hard N Heavy videos?

'''STRONG BAD:''' The video magazine.

'''MIKE:''' Uh huh.

'''STRONG BAD:''' On VHS! ''{pause}'' Oh, that's Schenkel McDoo. ''{Mike laughs}'' That guy's awesome.

'''MIKE:''' What do you think of this video? I like it a lot.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah. It looks— it— Eugh! It's disgusting, look at that grease that that beef left on that rusty thing. Uh, rusty pipe.

'''MIKE:''' Where'd we get that cookie sheet? That rusty cookie sheet.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Uh, I think it was yours.

'''MIKE:''' It might have been mine.

'''STRONG BAD:''' I think you ha— you had just baked some cookies on it and we were like, "Oh, maybe this will give us diseases." ''{pause}'' Yeah, I remember that. Every time I watch that... no, I actually went and gargled with grape soda. After that.

'''MIKE:''' Gave yourself a sweet mouth?

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{laughing}'' Yeah, definitely. ''{mumbling}'' Those things hurt. And the things on your face.

===Fun Facts===
*"The Kerrek smote the Trogdor smote the Kerrek" refers to a line spoken in [[interview]].
*Lemmy from [[Wikipedia:Motörhead|Motörhead]]'s last name was [[Wikipedia:Lemmy Kilmister|Kilmister]], not Killmeister. He was the lead singer and bass player. He was previously mentioned in [[band names]].
*[[Spinal Tap]] is a fictional rock band from the faux-documentary ''This is Spinal Tap''; the band had several drummers die during their heyday. Joe "Mama" Besser himself died only a few seconds after being introduced.

==YouTube Version==
*Strong Bad's [[Strong Bad Email Intros|email intro]] song is a bit longer: "Email, ah ooh, ooh, ooh ah ooh, email, ah ooh, email, ah ooh, ooh."
*None of the Easter eggs play.

==External Links==
{{sbemailextlinks|141|6714|youtube=V72NKRyX1NA}}

{{Strong Bad Email}}

[[Category:Podstar Runner]][[Category:Emails With DVD Commentary]]

Not X

2019-07-27T01:18:54Z

President Cold One: /* Appearances */

[[Image:NotLast.PNG|thumb|200px|"I feel so fine, I feel so elated!"]]
The description '''Not X''' (where "X" can be anything) is sometimes used in odd ways or contexts. It is often used in the context of "something other than".

==Appearances==
*[[Pumpkin Carve-nival]] — [[Bubs]] gets awarded a "'''NOT LAST'''" ribbon for his [[pumpkin]].
*Email [[unused emails]] — In an Easter egg, one of the unused emails seen in the middle stack of emails is signed "YOUR '''NOT BIGGEST FAN''', EVAN".
*Email [[personal favorites]] — The [[Grape-Nuts Robot]] has a "'''Not New'''!" sticker.
**The label reappears in [[specially marked]] on a box of [[Cheat Commandos...O's]].
*[[Ballad of the Sneak]] — The Sneak does the Hully Gully on a [[barrel]] that was specified to be "'''Not the Panama Canal'''".
*Email [[kids' book]] — Strong Bad finishes the book with "no two people are '''not on [[fire]]'''."
*[[Thy Dungeonman]] — One of the exits is "'''Not [[Dennis]]'''".
*Email [[other days]] — Strong Bad's calendar shows he has "'''NOT swim practice'''!" scheduled for Saturday.
*Email [[old comics]] — Strong Bad claims that the reason for needing two authors for [[The Castlefunnies]] was: "one to '''not think of something funny''', and the other to think of something '''not funny'''."
*Email [[the facts]] — [[Strong Mad]]'s "[[floppy disk container]]" drawn on a [[cardboard box]] was originally labeled "'''NOT CAR PARTS'''".
*[[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 12.2]] — [[Marzipan]] leaves herself a prank call, claiming to be "'''Not Marzipan'''".
*Email [[bottom 10]] —
**Strong Bad describes dry T-shirt contests as a "waste of '''not water'''".
**He says that the number 5 item on his bottom 10 is "'''not pigeons'''".
*Email [[geddup noise]] — After the "The Git Outcha-Seat Sound" clip, Strong Bad claims it to be "'''not nu— anything'''".
*Email [[highschool]] —
**Strong Bad concludes with the score report "Strong Bad Emails: 1, '''Not Strong Bad Emails''': 0."
**Baby Coach Z is playing with a cardboard box that reads "'''Not A Ball'''".
*[[Kid Speedy]] — Completing the game awards the player with a message saying, "YOU GOT '''NOT DEAD LAST'''!"
*Email [[theme song]] — It bugs Strong Bad that the emailer's face "doesn't have a '''not tons of [[acne]]'''".
*Email [[trading cards]] — Strong Bad thinks [[Trading Cards|trading cards]] are "the biggest waste of '''not a video game''' on the planet".
*[[Fan Costumes '06]] — Strong Bad comments on a [[Homestar Runner]] costume saying, "Yes, a little chicken wire and papier mâché goes '''not a very long, long way'''."
*Email [[looking old]] — Strong Bad asks, "What am I '''not paying you people''' for?"

*[[Jibblies 2]] — Homestar tells Marzipan he's "busy '''not answering the phone'''", and eventually becomes done "'''not answering the phone'''".
*[[Toikey TV]] —
**Strong Bad wants to watch "'''not football'''".
**[[The King of Town]] decries the dangers of "'''not fried turkeys'''".
*Email [[business trip]] — [[The Cheat]] gets promoted to "Junior Executive Of '''Not Having To Go On Pointless Business Trips'''".
*Email [[diorama]] — Strong Bad reads the email sender's location, "Charlotte, N.C.", as "Charlotte, '''Not Charlotte'''".
*Email [[nightlife]] — [[Strong Sad]] talks about busting out some fresh '''not dancing''', to which Marzipan responds that she plans to bust out some fresh '''not hanging out''' with Strong Sad.
*Email [[environment]] —
**Strong Bad explains his most significant contribution to the environment by saying, "Every day I wake up and the first thing I do is '''NOT drop a piano''' on Marzipan's head."
**He admits that he's rescued greenhouse gases by "'''not mortally wounding ol' Marzipole'''".
*Email [[buried]] — Strong Bad's business card refers to him as "Your Friendly Neighborhood '''Not-The-Police'''".
*[[SBCG4AP Dev Blog]] ([[SBCG4AP Dev Blog#New Screenshots!|24 Apr 2008]]) — Strong Bad's "Currently Playing" field of the post was "'''Not [[MS Paint]]'''".
*Email [[love poems]] — Homestar's acrostic poem has the A in Marzipan stand for "'''not-organic''' apples".
*Email [[magic trick]] — Strong Bad describes "flowy-sleeved" magicians as having "really '''not a lot of magic'''."
*[[Homestar Ruiner]] —
**When Strong Bad finds a [[Teen Girl Squad]] card near the [[Race Track]] with the [[Taranchula Black Metal Detector]], he remarks, "Another Teen Girl Squad idea card, another totally '''not metal object'''."
**Strong Bad boasts that the winner of the Free Country, USA Tri-Annual Race to the End of the Race was actually himself in a "'''not-from-Marzipan's-float'''" Homestar disguise.
*[[Strong Badia the Free]] —
**The newsreel reporter notes Strong Sad's display of "'''not courage'''" when Strong Bad conquers the Bleak House.
**When Strong Bad attempts tp use the lighter on someone else, he says "I'd love to see him '''not not on fire''', but '''not not not now.'''"
*Email [[email thunder]] —
**Strong Bad says he's "almost '''not totally disgusted'''" by [[The Poopsmith]] singing.
**Later, Strong Bad asks Homestar for a tour of his "'''not-in-front-of-your-computer'''".
**During a [[Review Revue|review]], Strong Sad tells the viewers to "be sure and '''not check out [his] [[Strong Sad's Lament|blog]]'''".
*[[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]] — If [[Dangeresque (character)|Dangeresque]] inspects one of the city limit signs, he'll say that that direction is "'''too not dangerous''' enough for [him] to bother with".
*[[8-Bit is Enough]] — Strong Bad asks [[Gel-arshie]] why he's just standing around '''not not loafing'''.
*[[Hremail 62]] — Homestar says that his [[brellow crayon]] can draw '''not quite hornets'''.
*[[Where U Goin' 2]] — Marzipan's choir is labeled "'''not dumb'''" on a chalkboard.
*[[Poker Night at the Inventory]] — Upon being eliminated from play, Strong Bad may say, "Well, that was a quivering pile of '''not fun'''."
*[[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 17.2]] — After leaving depressing messages on the [[PhoneTime XL8|answering machine]], Strong Sad says "Take that, '''not-depressing''' Strong Sad!"
*[[Fan Costumes 2017]] — The game cartridge for Xeliogravius IV says "'''Not a [[total]] rip-off'''!"
{{sectionstub}}

===Non X===
*Email [[flashback]] — Strong Bad says that if Homestar lived in the [[house of the Brothers Strong]], he'd have less '''non-broken bones'''.
*Email [[pop-up]] — Strong Bad claims that pop-up books supply The Cheats and four-year-olds with seconds of '''non-ripped-apart fun'''.
*Email [[web comics]] — Strong Bad advises the creators of video game comics, "when your pixel comic's not funny, MS Paint your way to a '''non-punchline'''!"
*Email [[licensed]] — One of the knock-off DVDs that has a generic title is "Jungle Animals in Decidedly '''Non-Jungle Situations'''".
*[[8-Bit is Enough]] — One of the rankings in the game is called "'''Non-Lame''' Movie Tie-In".

== See Also ==
*[[Nondescript Nouns]]
*[[Integral Article]]
*[[Multiple Negatives]]

[[Category:Variable word running gags]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Not X

2019-07-27T01:18:11Z

President Cold One: /* Appearances */ I'd love to see this example not not added, but not not not not now.

[[Image:NotLast.PNG|thumb|200px|"I feel so fine, I feel so elated!"]]
The description '''Not X''' (where "X" can be anything) is sometimes used in odd ways or contexts. It is often used in the context of "something other than".

==Appearances==
*[[Pumpkin Carve-nival]] — [[Bubs]] gets awarded a "'''NOT LAST'''" ribbon for his [[pumpkin]].
*Email [[unused emails]] — In an Easter egg, one of the unused emails seen in the middle stack of emails is signed "YOUR '''NOT BIGGEST FAN''', EVAN".
*Email [[personal favorites]] — The [[Grape-Nuts Robot]] has a "'''Not New'''!" sticker.
**The label reappears in [[specially marked]] on a box of [[Cheat Commandos...O's]].
*[[Ballad of the Sneak]] — The Sneak does the Hully Gully on a [[barrel]] that was specified to be "'''Not the Panama Canal'''".
*Email [[kids' book]] — Strong Bad finishes the book with "no two people are '''not on [[fire]]'''."
*[[Thy Dungeonman]] — One of the exits is "'''Not [[Dennis]]'''".
*Email [[other days]] — Strong Bad's calendar shows he has "'''NOT swim practice'''!" scheduled for Saturday.
*Email [[old comics]] — Strong Bad claims that the reason for needing two authors for [[The Castlefunnies]] was: "one to '''not think of something funny''', and the other to think of something '''not funny'''."
*Email [[the facts]] — [[Strong Mad]]'s "[[floppy disk container]]" drawn on a [[cardboard box]] was originally labeled "'''NOT CAR PARTS'''".
*[[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 12.2]] — [[Marzipan]] leaves herself a prank call, claiming to be "'''Not Marzipan'''".
*Email [[bottom 10]] —
**Strong Bad describes dry T-shirt contests as a "waste of '''not water'''".
**He says that the number 5 item on his bottom 10 is "'''not pigeons'''".
*Email [[geddup noise]] — After the "The Git Outcha-Seat Sound" clip, Strong Bad claims it to be "'''not nu— anything'''".
*Email [[highschool]] —
**Strong Bad concludes with the score report "Strong Bad Emails: 1, '''Not Strong Bad Emails''': 0."
**Baby Coach Z is playing with a cardboard box that reads "'''Not A Ball'''".
*[[Kid Speedy]] — Completing the game awards the player with a message saying, "YOU GOT '''NOT DEAD LAST'''!"
*Email [[theme song]] — It bugs Strong Bad that the emailer's face "doesn't have a '''not tons of [[acne]]'''".
*Email [[trading cards]] — Strong Bad thinks [[Trading Cards|trading cards]] are "the biggest waste of '''not a video game''' on the planet".
*[[Fan Costumes '06]] — Strong Bad comments on a [[Homestar Runner]] costume saying, "Yes, a little chicken wire and papier mâché goes '''not a very long, long way'''."
*Email [[looking old]] — Strong Bad asks, "What am I '''not paying you people''' for?"

*[[Jibblies 2]] — Homestar tells Marzipan he's "busy '''not answering the phone'''", and eventually becomes done "'''not answering the phone'''".
*[[Toikey TV]] —
**Strong Bad wants to watch "'''not football'''".
**[[The King of Town]] decries the dangers of "'''not fried turkeys'''".
*Email [[business trip]] — [[The Cheat]] gets promoted to "Junior Executive Of '''Not Having To Go On Pointless Business Trips'''".
*Email [[diorama]] — Strong Bad reads the email sender's location, "Charlotte, N.C.", as "Charlotte, '''Not Charlotte'''".
*Email [[nightlife]] — [[Strong Sad]] talks about busting out some fresh '''not dancing''', to which Marzipan responds that she plans to bust out some fresh '''not hanging out''' with Strong Sad.
*Email [[environment]] —
**Strong Bad explains his most significant contribution to the environment by saying, "Every day I wake up and the first thing I do is '''NOT drop a piano''' on Marzipan's head."
**He admits that he's rescued greenhouse gases by "'''not mortally wounding ol' Marzipole'''".
*Email [[buried]] — Strong Bad's business card refers to him as "Your Friendly Neighborhood '''Not-The-Police'''".
*[[SBCG4AP Dev Blog]] ([[SBCG4AP Dev Blog#New Screenshots!|24 Apr 2008]]) — Strong Bad's "Currently Playing" field of the post was "'''Not [[MS Paint]]'''".
*Email [[love poems]] — Homestar's acrostic poem has the A in Marzipan stand for "'''not-organic''' apples".
*Email [[magic trick]] — Strong Bad describes "flowy-sleeved" magicians as having "really '''not a lot of magic'''."
*[[Homestar Ruiner]] —
**When Strong Bad finds a [[Teen Girl Squad]] card near the [[Race Track]] with the [[Taranchula Black Metal Detector]], he remarks, "Another Teen Girl Squad idea card, another totally '''not metal object'''."
**Strong Bad boasts that the winner of the Free Country, USA Tri-Annual Race to the End of the Race was actually himself in a "'''not-from-Marzipan's-float'''" Homestar disguise.
*[[Strong Badia the Free]] —
**The newsreel reporter notes Strong Sad's display of "'''not courage'''" when Strong Bad conquers the Bleak House.
**When Strong Bad attempts tp use the lighter on someone else, he says "I'd love to see him not not on fire, but not not not now."
*Email [[email thunder]] —
**Strong Bad says he's "almost '''not totally disgusted'''" by [[The Poopsmith]] singing.
**Later, Strong Bad asks Homestar for a tour of his "'''not-in-front-of-your-computer'''".
**During a [[Review Revue|review]], Strong Sad tells the viewers to "be sure and '''not check out [his] [[Strong Sad's Lament|blog]]'''".
*[[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]] — If [[Dangeresque (character)|Dangeresque]] inspects one of the city limit signs, he'll say that that direction is "'''too not dangerous''' enough for [him] to bother with".
*[[8-Bit is Enough]] — Strong Bad asks [[Gel-arshie]] why he's just standing around '''not not loafing'''.
*[[Hremail 62]] — Homestar says that his [[brellow crayon]] can draw '''not quite hornets'''.
*[[Where U Goin' 2]] — Marzipan's choir is labeled "'''not dumb'''" on a chalkboard.
*[[Poker Night at the Inventory]] — Upon being eliminated from play, Strong Bad may say, "Well, that was a quivering pile of '''not fun'''."
*[[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 17.2]] — After leaving depressing messages on the [[PhoneTime XL8|answering machine]], Strong Sad says "Take that, '''not-depressing''' Strong Sad!"
*[[Fan Costumes 2017]] — The game cartridge for Xeliogravius IV says "'''Not a [[total]] rip-off'''!"
{{sectionstub}}

===Non X===
*Email [[flashback]] — Strong Bad says that if Homestar lived in the [[house of the Brothers Strong]], he'd have less '''non-broken bones'''.
*Email [[pop-up]] — Strong Bad claims that pop-up books supply The Cheats and four-year-olds with seconds of '''non-ripped-apart fun'''.
*Email [[web comics]] — Strong Bad advises the creators of video game comics, "when your pixel comic's not funny, MS Paint your way to a '''non-punchline'''!"
*Email [[licensed]] — One of the knock-off DVDs that has a generic title is "Jungle Animals in Decidedly '''Non-Jungle Situations'''".
*[[8-Bit is Enough]] — One of the rankings in the game is called "'''Non-Lame''' Movie Tie-In".

== See Also ==
*[[Nondescript Nouns]]
*[[Integral Article]]
*[[Multiple Negatives]]

[[Category:Variable word running gags]]
[[Category:Lists]]

Macaroni

2019-07-26T05:05:08Z

President Cold One: /* Appearances */

[[Image:TendaRONi.png|thumb|"I'LL WAIT FOR YOU!"]]
In [[Homestar Runner]] cartoons, the characters enjoy eating and discussing '''[[Wikipedia:Macaroni|Macaroni]]'''. It is used for arts and crafts and eating, mostly.

== Appearances ==
*Email [[old comics]] — It is used as an ingredient for [[Pasta Salad]] that [[Strong Bad]] put in [[Strong Mad]]'s underwear drawer.
*Email [[record book]] — [[Strong Mad]] holds the record for "Most Macaronis Nailed To A Paper Towel Tube...By Strong Mad."
*Email [[geddup noise]] — Strong Bad reads "marc baroni AZ" as "macaroni from A to Z" in the email (or, as he puts it, "alphabet macaroni").
*Email [[portrait]] — Strong Mad is sprinkling glitter over a macaroni picture.
*[[Sketchbook (video)]] — One of the postcards reads "Cruckscrew Bend's Fairly Oversized Elbow Macaroni".
*[[Strong Badia the Free]] — Bubs offers Strong Bad a macaroni sculpture of [[The Cheat]] as a souvenir from Strong Mad's [[Country]], but Strong Bad turns it down, having seen Strong Mad's attempts at "art and crap" before.

[[Category:Generic food and drinks]]

Redcoat Ghost Patrol

2019-07-23T03:11:43Z

President Cold One:

[[Image:Redcoat Patrol.png|thumb|Vanquishing the spirits of our forefathers]]
'''Redcoat Ghost Patrol''' is a mini-game in ''[[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]]'s'' [[8-Bit Is Enough]]. It is a spin-off from [[Spirits of '76]] that accidentally resulted when [[The Cheat]] removed said game from the [[FunMachine]] without first switching off the power. Combined with the Trogdor arcade game's malfunctioning 8-bit containment field, this allowed the ghosts in Spirits of '76 to escape into Free Country, USA.

This game involved Strong Bad, armed with the Light Musket, hunting down the escaped Redcoat ghosts, scattered through the Free Country locations and shooting them. Each ghost scores 100 points, and 800 points is needed for maximum awesomeness. If he misses a ghost, The Cheat will pop up from behind a bush and laugh at him, in a manner very reminiscent of the dog from [[Wikipedia:Duck Hunt|Duck Hunt]].

==Strategy==
The ghosts will only appear in certain areas in The Field; the [[Cool Car]] is the easiest place to find them. Also, they will usually appear the first time you enter the area. So, in order to quickly get the 800 points, simply keep selecting the Cool Car from your map, arm yourself with the light musket, and then fire at the ghost when it pops up.
{{stub}}
{{SBCG4AP}}

Timeline of Homestar Runner

2019-07-21T09:31:28Z

President Cold One: /* 2009 */

{{Timeline of Homestar Runner}}

This is a brief overview of the history of the '''[[Homestar Runner (body of work)|Homestar Runner]]''' body of work.

==1996==
*July/August — [[Craig Zobel]] and [[Mike Chapman]] write the [[Original Book]], "The Homestar Runner Enters the Strongest Man in the World Contest", and create [[Homestar Runner]], [[Pom Pom]], [[Strong Bad]], and [[The Cheat]].
*September — Sketches are made for a second kids' book, "[[Homestar Runner Goes For The Gold!]]". It is never completed.
*December — [[Matt Chapman|Matt]], Mike and Craig make [[Super NES]] for [[Donnie Chapman|Donnie]] as a Christmas present. This video marks the first appearances of [[Strong Sad]] and [[Strong Mad]] as well as the first animated cartoon.

==1999==
*June — [[Where My Hat Is At?]], which includes the introductions of [[Coach Z]] and [[Bubs]], is created.
*December 6 — The domain name "[[homestarrunner.com]]" is registered.

==[[H*R.com updates 2000|2000]]==
*January 1 — [[Homestarrunner.com]] debuts with at least the [[:Image:old flash stuff.png|original main page]], [[Where My Hat Is At?]], [[Super NES]], [[Pom Pom, Too]], and [[Marshmallow's Last Stand]], the first full-length Homestar Runner [[Flash]] cartoon. [[Marzipan]], [[The King of Town]], and [[The Poopsmith]] first appear in Marshmallow's Last Stand.
*Fall? — The first [[Marzipan's Answering Machine]] is released.
*[[Kick the Can]], a series of short toons, introduces the [[Old-Timey]] universe.

==[[H*R.com updates 2001|2001]]==
*[[Strong Bad Email]]s are released with [[some kinda robot]].
*The [[homsar|second Strong Bad Email]] introduces [[Homsar]].
*[[Marshie]] first appears in [[Fluffy Puff Commercial]], but he does not get to talk until [[Meet Marshie]] is released the following year.
*The website begins selling [[Store T-Shirts|T-shirts]].

==[[H*R.com updates 2002|2002]]==
*February 25 — [[The Cheat Theme Song]] marks the first toon created in [[Powered by The Cheat]] style.
*June 24 — The [[Tandy 400]] explodes in the Strong Bad Email [[gimmicks]]. It is later repaired; the repaired version is used through [[vacation]] (August 11).
*September 9 — The [[Compy 386]] replaces the Tandy 400 in the Strong Bad Email [[invisibility]].
*November 11 — The fiftieth Strong Bad Email, [[50 emails]], released.
*November 17 — The ongoing [[Strong Sad's Lament]] is launched with the Strong Bad Email [[website]].
*December 2 — The Strong Bad Email [[comic]] begins the [[Teen Girl Squad]] series.

==[[H*R.com updates 2003|2003]]==
*January 6 — [[20X6]] debuts with the characters [[Stinkoman]], [[1-Up]] and [[Pan Pan]] in the Strong Bad Email [[japanese cartoon]].
*January 13 — [[Trogdor]] is created in the Strong Bad Email [[dragon]].
*February 3 — The first game from [[Videlectrix]], [[Awexome Cross]], is found in an Easter egg in the email [[monster truck]].
*May 5 — The [[Sweet Cuppin' Cakes]] characters debut in [[crazy cartoon]].
*July 21 — The [[Dangeresque (film series)|Dangeresque]] series of films debuts in [[stunt double]].
*August — Matt quits his job to work on the website full-time.
*September 29 — [[Everybody Knows It]] is the first [[Puppet Stuff]] toon.
*November 17 — [[Strong Bad Sings and Other Type Hits]] is released.
*December 3 — [[Senor Cardgage]] debuts in the Strong Bad Email [[kind of cool]].

==[[H*R.com updates 2004|2004]]==
*February 2 — The tie-in website [[Videlectrix]].com is launched with the game [[Pigs on Head]].
*February 23 — The first collaboration with [[They Might Be Giants]] in the Strong Bad Email [[different town]].
*March 8 — The [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 10.2|tenth Marzipan's Answering Machine]] is released.
*March 16 — The hundredth Strong Bad Email, [[flashback]], released.
*May 10 — The [[Cheat Commandos]] debut in [[Cheat Commandos (toon)|Cheat Commandos]], although the concept was first mentioned in the email [[army]] (released January 5th).
*August 2 — The critically acclaimed [[Peasant's Quest]] game is released.
*November 9 — The first set of [[strongbad_email.exe]] DVDs is released.
*November 15 — The [[Compy 386]] is infected by viruses and destroyed by [[Bubs]]' shotgun in the email [[virus]].
*November 29 — The [[Lappy 486]] debuts in the Strong Bad Email [[animal]].

==[[H*R.com updates 2005|2005]]==
*March 21 — The Brothers Chaps' second large game [[Stinkoman 20X6]] is released with only three levels.
*October 10 — The [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10|tenth Teen Girl Squad]] is released.
*November 14 — Volume one of the [[Everything Else]] DVD series is released.

==[[H*R.com updates 2006|2006]]==
*January 13 — [[Happy Trogday]] is released, celebrating Trogdor's 3rd birthday.
*January 30 — The [[Podstar Runner 2006|Podstar Runner]] service is started.
*April 4 — Another [[Strong Bad Email]] milestone – the 150th email, [[alternate universe]].
*August 21 — [[Strongest Man in the World]] is released, celebrating Homestar Runner's 10th anniversary.

==[[H*R.com updates 2007|2007]]==
*January 28 — [[Viidelectrix]] added, allowing Nintendo Wii owners to play some games with a Wii remote.
*February 12 — A [[New Stuff]] section is added to the Toons menu listing all new toons released.
*June 11 — Strong Bad gets an inkjet printer and the [[New Paper]] in the email [[the paper]]. This was hinted at in [[montage]].
*September 23 — [[Podstar Runner 2006|Podstar Runner]] service is discontinued.
*October 1 — [[YouTube#homestarrunnerdotcom|homestarrunnerdotcom]] is registered on [[YouTube]] but remains inactive.

==[[H*R.com updates 2008|2008]]==
*January 10 — [[Podstar Runner]] service is reestablished with [[looking old]] as its first available email.
*January 10 — [[Trogday 08]] marks another spinoff milestone, the 5th birthday of [[Trogdor]].
*March 27 — [[Limozeen Live! - 27 Mar 2008|Limozeen Live!]] at the 10 High Club in Atlanta.
*April — The first official [[YouTube]] videos from the [[Homestar Runner (body of work)|Homestar Runner]] body of work are released, including video of the [[Limozeen Live! - 27 Mar 2008|Limozeen Live!]] appearance.
*April 10 — [[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]] is first announced.
*August 11 — [[Homestar Ruiner]], the first episode of Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People, is released for the Nintendo Wii and PC.
*September 15 — The second SBCG4AP episode, [[Strong Badia the Free]], is released for the Nintendo Wii and PC.
*September 23 — The 200th Strong Bad Email, [[email thunder]], is released.
*October 27 — The third SBCG4AP episiode, [[Baddest of the Bands]], is released for the Nintendo Wii and PC.
*November 17 — The fourth SBCG4AP episode, [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]], is released for the Nintendo Wii and PC.
*December 15 — The fifth and final SBCG4AP episode, [[8-Bit is Enough]], is released for the Nintendo Wii and PC.

==[[H*R.com updates 2009|2009]]==
*January 26 — The first official [[Hremail]], [[Hremail 62]], is released.
*March 31 — homestarrunnerdotcom uploads their first video, [[guitar]].
*June 30 — [[Strong Bad Emails]] return after a nine-month hiatus, with [[hremail3184]]. The [[Lappy 486]] is destroyed.
* July 2 — All five episodes of Strong Bad's Cool Game For Attractive People are released on the [[SBCG4AP Collector's DVD]].
*July 27 — [[Where My Hat Is At?]] is adapted into [[Where My Hat Is At? (toon)|a cartoon]] in celebration of its 10th birthday.
*August 3 — [[Strong Bad]] buys the [[Compé]] in "[[Compy Catalog]]" and replaces the New Paper with the [[Compé-per]]
*October 11 — [[FeedBurner Page]] is launched. [[Podstar Runner]] service is soon discontinued once again.
*December 1 — Matt announces via RSS that site updates will be fewer due to the arrival of a new baby.

==[[H*R.com updates 2010|2010]]==
*April 1 — After months of only minor store-related updates, the site celebrates [[April Fools' Day]] with [[Xeriouxly Forxe]]. A new [[Main Page 26|main page]] is released a couple of weeks later with the same theme.
*As the extended hiatus continues, two behind-the-scenes looks are released: [[Sbemail 136 Alternate Versions]] and [[Soap Box Doiby]].
*November 22 — [[Telltale Games]] releases [[Poker Night At The Inventory]].
*December 14 — [[A Decemberween Mackerel]], the first bona-fide toon of the year, is released.
*December 22 — The missing Halloween toon, [[Which Ween Costumes?]], is finally released, just in time for Decemberween.

==[[H*R.com updates 2011|2011]]==
*September 29 — [[@StrongBadActual]] is registered.
*Following the December 22, 2010 update, homestarrunner.com was not updated during 2011 and most of the merchandise in the [[Yahoo Store|Store]] were put on sale on May 16.

==[[H*R.com updates 2013|2013]]==
*July — [[Strong Bad]] and [[Homestar Runner]] make an appearance at [[W00tstock 2013]].

==[[H*R.com updates 2014|2014]]==
*April 1 — After a three and a half year hiatus, the site is updated with a brand new toon, [[April Fool 2014]].
*July 7 — Matt reveals in [[The Jeff Rubin Jeff Rubin Show Interview - 7 July 2014|an interview on The Jeff Rubin Jeff Rubin Show]] that he and Mike intend to resume regular updates by the year's end.
*September 26 — [[@StrongBadActual]] begins Tweeting.
*October 3 — [[Fish Eye Lens]] is released, marking the return of semi-regular site updates.
*October 22 — [[Weekly Fanstuff]], the [[Quote of the Week]] and the [[Sketchbook]] are updated after exactly five years of inactivity.
*October 30 — [[I Killed Pom Pom]], the first feature-length [[Halloween]] toon in five years, is released.

==[[H*R.com updates 2015|2015]]==
*April 1 — Strong Bad checks his email for the first time in five years in [[sbemail206]]. The Compé and the Compé-per are unceremoniously "compressed" by dust into the [[Lappier]].
*March 3 — The [[store]] is redesigned and moved to a different website.
*March 27 — [[Site Components#NavBar|NavBar]] updated; "[[FeedBurner|subscribe]]" link replaced with "[[YouTube#homestarrunnerdotcom|youtube]]"

==[[H*R.com updates 2016|2016]]==
*April 1 — [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 17.2]], the first [[Marzipan's Answering Machine]] in seven years, is released. It is the first toon to not be displayed in [[Flash]], and instead an embedded [[YouTube]] player. It is also the longest toon on the site, over half an hour long.
*September 2 — Homestar Runner's 20th anniversary was celebrated at the [[Homestar Runner 20th Anniversary Show - 2 Sep 2016|Homestar Runner 20th Anniversary Show]], where [[Homestar Runner Goes For the Gold]] was presented (and later released on the site on December 24th). A [[Homestar Runner 20th Anniversary Show - 7 Oct 2016|second show]] occurred on October 7.

==[[H*R.com updates 2017|2017]]==
*July 12 — The first [[Skills of an Artist]] segment, [[Sammich]], is released on [[@StrongBadActual]]. New iterations of the series would go on to be released on a frequent basis.
*August 14 — The 207th [[Strong Bad Email]], [[too cool]], is released, marking the first email in two years.
*December 23 — The first Decemberween special in 7 years, [[Decemberween Dangeresque]], is released.

==[[H*R.com updates 2018|2018]]==
*January 13 — The [[Index Page]] is redesigned and the HTML version of [[TROGDOR!]] is released.
*January 24 — The first volume of [[The Deleteheads Download]] is sent to all subscribers at the time.
*July 17 — The [[Trogdor!! The Board Game]] Kickstarter is started and the new version of the [[Index Page]] is revealed.

==See Also==
*[[Firsts]]

[[Category:Past Updates]]

Timeline of Homestar Runner

2019-07-21T09:22:42Z

President Cold One: /* 2008 */

{{Timeline of Homestar Runner}}

This is a brief overview of the history of the '''[[Homestar Runner (body of work)|Homestar Runner]]''' body of work.

==1996==
*July/August — [[Craig Zobel]] and [[Mike Chapman]] write the [[Original Book]], "The Homestar Runner Enters the Strongest Man in the World Contest", and create [[Homestar Runner]], [[Pom Pom]], [[Strong Bad]], and [[The Cheat]].
*September — Sketches are made for a second kids' book, "[[Homestar Runner Goes For The Gold!]]". It is never completed.
*December — [[Matt Chapman|Matt]], Mike and Craig make [[Super NES]] for [[Donnie Chapman|Donnie]] as a Christmas present. This video marks the first appearances of [[Strong Sad]] and [[Strong Mad]] as well as the first animated cartoon.

==1999==
*June — [[Where My Hat Is At?]], which includes the introductions of [[Coach Z]] and [[Bubs]], is created.
*December 6 — The domain name "[[homestarrunner.com]]" is registered.

==[[H*R.com updates 2000|2000]]==
*January 1 — [[Homestarrunner.com]] debuts with at least the [[:Image:old flash stuff.png|original main page]], [[Where My Hat Is At?]], [[Super NES]], [[Pom Pom, Too]], and [[Marshmallow's Last Stand]], the first full-length Homestar Runner [[Flash]] cartoon. [[Marzipan]], [[The King of Town]], and [[The Poopsmith]] first appear in Marshmallow's Last Stand.
*Fall? — The first [[Marzipan's Answering Machine]] is released.
*[[Kick the Can]], a series of short toons, introduces the [[Old-Timey]] universe.

==[[H*R.com updates 2001|2001]]==
*[[Strong Bad Email]]s are released with [[some kinda robot]].
*The [[homsar|second Strong Bad Email]] introduces [[Homsar]].
*[[Marshie]] first appears in [[Fluffy Puff Commercial]], but he does not get to talk until [[Meet Marshie]] is released the following year.
*The website begins selling [[Store T-Shirts|T-shirts]].

==[[H*R.com updates 2002|2002]]==
*February 25 — [[The Cheat Theme Song]] marks the first toon created in [[Powered by The Cheat]] style.
*June 24 — The [[Tandy 400]] explodes in the Strong Bad Email [[gimmicks]]. It is later repaired; the repaired version is used through [[vacation]] (August 11).
*September 9 — The [[Compy 386]] replaces the Tandy 400 in the Strong Bad Email [[invisibility]].
*November 11 — The fiftieth Strong Bad Email, [[50 emails]], released.
*November 17 — The ongoing [[Strong Sad's Lament]] is launched with the Strong Bad Email [[website]].
*December 2 — The Strong Bad Email [[comic]] begins the [[Teen Girl Squad]] series.

==[[H*R.com updates 2003|2003]]==
*January 6 — [[20X6]] debuts with the characters [[Stinkoman]], [[1-Up]] and [[Pan Pan]] in the Strong Bad Email [[japanese cartoon]].
*January 13 — [[Trogdor]] is created in the Strong Bad Email [[dragon]].
*February 3 — The first game from [[Videlectrix]], [[Awexome Cross]], is found in an Easter egg in the email [[monster truck]].
*May 5 — The [[Sweet Cuppin' Cakes]] characters debut in [[crazy cartoon]].
*July 21 — The [[Dangeresque (film series)|Dangeresque]] series of films debuts in [[stunt double]].
*August — Matt quits his job to work on the website full-time.
*September 29 — [[Everybody Knows It]] is the first [[Puppet Stuff]] toon.
*November 17 — [[Strong Bad Sings and Other Type Hits]] is released.
*December 3 — [[Senor Cardgage]] debuts in the Strong Bad Email [[kind of cool]].

==[[H*R.com updates 2004|2004]]==
*February 2 — The tie-in website [[Videlectrix]].com is launched with the game [[Pigs on Head]].
*February 23 — The first collaboration with [[They Might Be Giants]] in the Strong Bad Email [[different town]].
*March 8 — The [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 10.2|tenth Marzipan's Answering Machine]] is released.
*March 16 — The hundredth Strong Bad Email, [[flashback]], released.
*May 10 — The [[Cheat Commandos]] debut in [[Cheat Commandos (toon)|Cheat Commandos]], although the concept was first mentioned in the email [[army]] (released January 5th).
*August 2 — The critically acclaimed [[Peasant's Quest]] game is released.
*November 9 — The first set of [[strongbad_email.exe]] DVDs is released.
*November 15 — The [[Compy 386]] is infected by viruses and destroyed by [[Bubs]]' shotgun in the email [[virus]].
*November 29 — The [[Lappy 486]] debuts in the Strong Bad Email [[animal]].

==[[H*R.com updates 2005|2005]]==
*March 21 — The Brothers Chaps' second large game [[Stinkoman 20X6]] is released with only three levels.
*October 10 — The [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10|tenth Teen Girl Squad]] is released.
*November 14 — Volume one of the [[Everything Else]] DVD series is released.

==[[H*R.com updates 2006|2006]]==
*January 13 — [[Happy Trogday]] is released, celebrating Trogdor's 3rd birthday.
*January 30 — The [[Podstar Runner 2006|Podstar Runner]] service is started.
*April 4 — Another [[Strong Bad Email]] milestone – the 150th email, [[alternate universe]].
*August 21 — [[Strongest Man in the World]] is released, celebrating Homestar Runner's 10th anniversary.

==[[H*R.com updates 2007|2007]]==
*January 28 — [[Viidelectrix]] added, allowing Nintendo Wii owners to play some games with a Wii remote.
*February 12 — A [[New Stuff]] section is added to the Toons menu listing all new toons released.
*June 11 — Strong Bad gets an inkjet printer and the [[New Paper]] in the email [[the paper]]. This was hinted at in [[montage]].
*September 23 — [[Podstar Runner 2006|Podstar Runner]] service is discontinued.
*October 1 — [[YouTube#homestarrunnerdotcom|homestarrunnerdotcom]] is registered on [[YouTube]] but remains inactive.

==[[H*R.com updates 2008|2008]]==
*January 10 — [[Podstar Runner]] service is reestablished with [[looking old]] as its first available email.
*January 10 — [[Trogday 08]] marks another spinoff milestone, the 5th birthday of [[Trogdor]].
*March 27 — [[Limozeen Live! - 27 Mar 2008|Limozeen Live!]] at the 10 High Club in Atlanta.
*April — The first official [[YouTube]] videos from the [[Homestar Runner (body of work)|Homestar Runner]] body of work are released, including video of the [[Limozeen Live! - 27 Mar 2008|Limozeen Live!]] appearance.
*April 10 — [[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]] is first announced.
*August 11 — [[Homestar Ruiner]], the first episode of Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People, is released for the Nintendo Wii and PC.
*September 15 — The second SBCG4AP episode, [[Strong Badia the Free]], is released for the Nintendo Wii and PC.
*September 23 — The 200th Strong Bad Email, [[email thunder]], is released.
*October 27 — The third SBCG4AP episiode, [[Baddest of the Bands]], is released for the Nintendo Wii and PC.
*November 17 — The fourth SBCG4AP episode, [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]], is released for the Nintendo Wii and PC.
*December 15 — The fifth and final SBCG4AP episode, [[8-Bit is Enough]], is released for the Nintendo Wii and PC.

==[[H*R.com updates 2009|2009]]==
*January 26 — The first official [[Hremail]], [[Hremail 62]], is released.
*March 31 — homestarrunnerdotcom uploads their first video, [[guitar]].
*June 30 — [[Strong Bad Emails]] return after a nine-month hiatus, with [[hremail3184]]. The [[Lappy 486]] is destroyed.
*July 27 — [[Where My Hat Is At?]] is adapted into [[Where My Hat Is At? (toon)|a cartoon]] in celebration of its 10th birthday.
*August 3 — [[Strong Bad]] buys the [[Compé]] in "[[Compy Catalog]]" and replaces the New Paper with the [[Compé-per]]
*October 11 — [[FeedBurner Page]] is launched. [[Podstar Runner]] service is soon discontinued once again.
*December 1 — Matt announces via RSS that site updates will be fewer due to the arrival of a new baby.

==[[H*R.com updates 2010|2010]]==
*April 1 — After months of only minor store-related updates, the site celebrates [[April Fools' Day]] with [[Xeriouxly Forxe]]. A new [[Main Page 26|main page]] is released a couple of weeks later with the same theme.
*As the extended hiatus continues, two behind-the-scenes looks are released: [[Sbemail 136 Alternate Versions]] and [[Soap Box Doiby]].
*November 22 — [[Telltale Games]] releases [[Poker Night At The Inventory]].
*December 14 — [[A Decemberween Mackerel]], the first bona-fide toon of the year, is released.
*December 22 — The missing Halloween toon, [[Which Ween Costumes?]], is finally released, just in time for Decemberween.

==[[H*R.com updates 2011|2011]]==
*September 29 — [[@StrongBadActual]] is registered.
*Following the December 22, 2010 update, homestarrunner.com was not updated during 2011 and most of the merchandise in the [[Yahoo Store|Store]] were put on sale on May 16.

==[[H*R.com updates 2013|2013]]==
*July — [[Strong Bad]] and [[Homestar Runner]] make an appearance at [[W00tstock 2013]].

==[[H*R.com updates 2014|2014]]==
*April 1 — After a three and a half year hiatus, the site is updated with a brand new toon, [[April Fool 2014]].
*July 7 — Matt reveals in [[The Jeff Rubin Jeff Rubin Show Interview - 7 July 2014|an interview on The Jeff Rubin Jeff Rubin Show]] that he and Mike intend to resume regular updates by the year's end.
*September 26 — [[@StrongBadActual]] begins Tweeting.
*October 3 — [[Fish Eye Lens]] is released, marking the return of semi-regular site updates.
*October 22 — [[Weekly Fanstuff]], the [[Quote of the Week]] and the [[Sketchbook]] are updated after exactly five years of inactivity.
*October 30 — [[I Killed Pom Pom]], the first feature-length [[Halloween]] toon in five years, is released.

==[[H*R.com updates 2015|2015]]==
*April 1 — Strong Bad checks his email for the first time in five years in [[sbemail206]]. The Compé and the Compé-per are unceremoniously "compressed" by dust into the [[Lappier]].
*March 3 — The [[store]] is redesigned and moved to a different website.
*March 27 — [[Site Components#NavBar|NavBar]] updated; "[[FeedBurner|subscribe]]" link replaced with "[[YouTube#homestarrunnerdotcom|youtube]]"

==[[H*R.com updates 2016|2016]]==
*April 1 — [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 17.2]], the first [[Marzipan's Answering Machine]] in seven years, is released. It is the first toon to not be displayed in [[Flash]], and instead an embedded [[YouTube]] player. It is also the longest toon on the site, over half an hour long.
*September 2 — Homestar Runner's 20th anniversary was celebrated at the [[Homestar Runner 20th Anniversary Show - 2 Sep 2016|Homestar Runner 20th Anniversary Show]], where [[Homestar Runner Goes For the Gold]] was presented (and later released on the site on December 24th). A [[Homestar Runner 20th Anniversary Show - 7 Oct 2016|second show]] occurred on October 7.

==[[H*R.com updates 2017|2017]]==
*July 12 — The first [[Skills of an Artist]] segment, [[Sammich]], is released on [[@StrongBadActual]]. New iterations of the series would go on to be released on a frequent basis.
*August 14 — The 207th [[Strong Bad Email]], [[too cool]], is released, marking the first email in two years.
*December 23 — The first Decemberween special in 7 years, [[Decemberween Dangeresque]], is released.

==[[H*R.com updates 2018|2018]]==
*January 13 — The [[Index Page]] is redesigned and the HTML version of [[TROGDOR!]] is released.
*January 24 — The first volume of [[The Deleteheads Download]] is sent to all subscribers at the time.
*July 17 — The [[Trogdor!! The Board Game]] Kickstarter is started and the new version of the [[Index Page]] is revealed.

==See Also==
*[[Firsts]]

[[Category:Past Updates]]

Timeline of Homestar Runner

2019-07-21T09:22:17Z

President Cold One: /* 2008 */

{{Timeline of Homestar Runner}}

This is a brief overview of the history of the '''[[Homestar Runner (body of work)|Homestar Runner]]''' body of work.

==1996==
*July/August — [[Craig Zobel]] and [[Mike Chapman]] write the [[Original Book]], "The Homestar Runner Enters the Strongest Man in the World Contest", and create [[Homestar Runner]], [[Pom Pom]], [[Strong Bad]], and [[The Cheat]].
*September — Sketches are made for a second kids' book, "[[Homestar Runner Goes For The Gold!]]". It is never completed.
*December — [[Matt Chapman|Matt]], Mike and Craig make [[Super NES]] for [[Donnie Chapman|Donnie]] as a Christmas present. This video marks the first appearances of [[Strong Sad]] and [[Strong Mad]] as well as the first animated cartoon.

==1999==
*June — [[Where My Hat Is At?]], which includes the introductions of [[Coach Z]] and [[Bubs]], is created.
*December 6 — The domain name "[[homestarrunner.com]]" is registered.

==[[H*R.com updates 2000|2000]]==
*January 1 — [[Homestarrunner.com]] debuts with at least the [[:Image:old flash stuff.png|original main page]], [[Where My Hat Is At?]], [[Super NES]], [[Pom Pom, Too]], and [[Marshmallow's Last Stand]], the first full-length Homestar Runner [[Flash]] cartoon. [[Marzipan]], [[The King of Town]], and [[The Poopsmith]] first appear in Marshmallow's Last Stand.
*Fall? — The first [[Marzipan's Answering Machine]] is released.
*[[Kick the Can]], a series of short toons, introduces the [[Old-Timey]] universe.

==[[H*R.com updates 2001|2001]]==
*[[Strong Bad Email]]s are released with [[some kinda robot]].
*The [[homsar|second Strong Bad Email]] introduces [[Homsar]].
*[[Marshie]] first appears in [[Fluffy Puff Commercial]], but he does not get to talk until [[Meet Marshie]] is released the following year.
*The website begins selling [[Store T-Shirts|T-shirts]].

==[[H*R.com updates 2002|2002]]==
*February 25 — [[The Cheat Theme Song]] marks the first toon created in [[Powered by The Cheat]] style.
*June 24 — The [[Tandy 400]] explodes in the Strong Bad Email [[gimmicks]]. It is later repaired; the repaired version is used through [[vacation]] (August 11).
*September 9 — The [[Compy 386]] replaces the Tandy 400 in the Strong Bad Email [[invisibility]].
*November 11 — The fiftieth Strong Bad Email, [[50 emails]], released.
*November 17 — The ongoing [[Strong Sad's Lament]] is launched with the Strong Bad Email [[website]].
*December 2 — The Strong Bad Email [[comic]] begins the [[Teen Girl Squad]] series.

==[[H*R.com updates 2003|2003]]==
*January 6 — [[20X6]] debuts with the characters [[Stinkoman]], [[1-Up]] and [[Pan Pan]] in the Strong Bad Email [[japanese cartoon]].
*January 13 — [[Trogdor]] is created in the Strong Bad Email [[dragon]].
*February 3 — The first game from [[Videlectrix]], [[Awexome Cross]], is found in an Easter egg in the email [[monster truck]].
*May 5 — The [[Sweet Cuppin' Cakes]] characters debut in [[crazy cartoon]].
*July 21 — The [[Dangeresque (film series)|Dangeresque]] series of films debuts in [[stunt double]].
*August — Matt quits his job to work on the website full-time.
*September 29 — [[Everybody Knows It]] is the first [[Puppet Stuff]] toon.
*November 17 — [[Strong Bad Sings and Other Type Hits]] is released.
*December 3 — [[Senor Cardgage]] debuts in the Strong Bad Email [[kind of cool]].

==[[H*R.com updates 2004|2004]]==
*February 2 — The tie-in website [[Videlectrix]].com is launched with the game [[Pigs on Head]].
*February 23 — The first collaboration with [[They Might Be Giants]] in the Strong Bad Email [[different town]].
*March 8 — The [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 10.2|tenth Marzipan's Answering Machine]] is released.
*March 16 — The hundredth Strong Bad Email, [[flashback]], released.
*May 10 — The [[Cheat Commandos]] debut in [[Cheat Commandos (toon)|Cheat Commandos]], although the concept was first mentioned in the email [[army]] (released January 5th).
*August 2 — The critically acclaimed [[Peasant's Quest]] game is released.
*November 9 — The first set of [[strongbad_email.exe]] DVDs is released.
*November 15 — The [[Compy 386]] is infected by viruses and destroyed by [[Bubs]]' shotgun in the email [[virus]].
*November 29 — The [[Lappy 486]] debuts in the Strong Bad Email [[animal]].

==[[H*R.com updates 2005|2005]]==
*March 21 — The Brothers Chaps' second large game [[Stinkoman 20X6]] is released with only three levels.
*October 10 — The [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10|tenth Teen Girl Squad]] is released.
*November 14 — Volume one of the [[Everything Else]] DVD series is released.

==[[H*R.com updates 2006|2006]]==
*January 13 — [[Happy Trogday]] is released, celebrating Trogdor's 3rd birthday.
*January 30 — The [[Podstar Runner 2006|Podstar Runner]] service is started.
*April 4 — Another [[Strong Bad Email]] milestone – the 150th email, [[alternate universe]].
*August 21 — [[Strongest Man in the World]] is released, celebrating Homestar Runner's 10th anniversary.

==[[H*R.com updates 2007|2007]]==
*January 28 — [[Viidelectrix]] added, allowing Nintendo Wii owners to play some games with a Wii remote.
*February 12 — A [[New Stuff]] section is added to the Toons menu listing all new toons released.
*June 11 — Strong Bad gets an inkjet printer and the [[New Paper]] in the email [[the paper]]. This was hinted at in [[montage]].
*September 23 — [[Podstar Runner 2006|Podstar Runner]] service is discontinued.
*October 1 — [[YouTube#homestarrunnerdotcom|homestarrunnerdotcom]] is registered on [[YouTube]] but remains inactive.

==[[H*R.com updates 2008|2008]]==
*January 10 — [[Podstar Runner]] service is reestablished with [[looking old]] as its first available email.
*January 10 — [[Trogday 08]] marks another spinoff milestone, the 5th birthday of [[Trogdor]].
*March 27 — [[Limozeen Live! - 27 Mar 2008|Limozeen Live!]] at the 10 High Club in Atlanta.
*April — The first official [[YouTube]] videos from the [[Homestar Runner (body of work)|Homestar Runner]] body of work are released, including video of the [[Limozeen Live! - 27 Mar 2008|Limozeen Live!]] appearance.
*April 10 — [[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]] is first announced.
*August 11 — [[Homestar Ruiner]], the first episode of Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People, is released for the Nintendo Wii and PC.
*September 15 — The second SBCG4AP episode, [[Strong Badia the Free]] is released for the Nintendo Wii and PC.
*September 23 — The 200th Strong Bad Email, [[email thunder]], is released.
*October 27 — The third SBCG4AP episiode, [[Baddest of the Bands]], is released for the Nintendo Wii and PC.
*November 17 — The fourth SBCG4AP episode, [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]], is released for the Nintendo Wii and PC.
*December 15 — The fifth and final SBCG4AP episode, [[8-Bit is Enough]], is released for the Nintendo Wii and PC.

==[[H*R.com updates 2009|2009]]==
*January 26 — The first official [[Hremail]], [[Hremail 62]], is released.
*March 31 — homestarrunnerdotcom uploads their first video, [[guitar]].
*June 30 — [[Strong Bad Emails]] return after a nine-month hiatus, with [[hremail3184]]. The [[Lappy 486]] is destroyed.
*July 27 — [[Where My Hat Is At?]] is adapted into [[Where My Hat Is At? (toon)|a cartoon]] in celebration of its 10th birthday.
*August 3 — [[Strong Bad]] buys the [[Compé]] in "[[Compy Catalog]]" and replaces the New Paper with the [[Compé-per]]
*October 11 — [[FeedBurner Page]] is launched. [[Podstar Runner]] service is soon discontinued once again.
*December 1 — Matt announces via RSS that site updates will be fewer due to the arrival of a new baby.

==[[H*R.com updates 2010|2010]]==
*April 1 — After months of only minor store-related updates, the site celebrates [[April Fools' Day]] with [[Xeriouxly Forxe]]. A new [[Main Page 26|main page]] is released a couple of weeks later with the same theme.
*As the extended hiatus continues, two behind-the-scenes looks are released: [[Sbemail 136 Alternate Versions]] and [[Soap Box Doiby]].
*November 22 — [[Telltale Games]] releases [[Poker Night At The Inventory]].
*December 14 — [[A Decemberween Mackerel]], the first bona-fide toon of the year, is released.
*December 22 — The missing Halloween toon, [[Which Ween Costumes?]], is finally released, just in time for Decemberween.

==[[H*R.com updates 2011|2011]]==
*September 29 — [[@StrongBadActual]] is registered.
*Following the December 22, 2010 update, homestarrunner.com was not updated during 2011 and most of the merchandise in the [[Yahoo Store|Store]] were put on sale on May 16.

==[[H*R.com updates 2013|2013]]==
*July — [[Strong Bad]] and [[Homestar Runner]] make an appearance at [[W00tstock 2013]].

==[[H*R.com updates 2014|2014]]==
*April 1 — After a three and a half year hiatus, the site is updated with a brand new toon, [[April Fool 2014]].
*July 7 — Matt reveals in [[The Jeff Rubin Jeff Rubin Show Interview - 7 July 2014|an interview on The Jeff Rubin Jeff Rubin Show]] that he and Mike intend to resume regular updates by the year's end.
*September 26 — [[@StrongBadActual]] begins Tweeting.
*October 3 — [[Fish Eye Lens]] is released, marking the return of semi-regular site updates.
*October 22 — [[Weekly Fanstuff]], the [[Quote of the Week]] and the [[Sketchbook]] are updated after exactly five years of inactivity.
*October 30 — [[I Killed Pom Pom]], the first feature-length [[Halloween]] toon in five years, is released.

==[[H*R.com updates 2015|2015]]==
*April 1 — Strong Bad checks his email for the first time in five years in [[sbemail206]]. The Compé and the Compé-per are unceremoniously "compressed" by dust into the [[Lappier]].
*March 3 — The [[store]] is redesigned and moved to a different website.
*March 27 — [[Site Components#NavBar|NavBar]] updated; "[[FeedBurner|subscribe]]" link replaced with "[[YouTube#homestarrunnerdotcom|youtube]]"

==[[H*R.com updates 2016|2016]]==
*April 1 — [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 17.2]], the first [[Marzipan's Answering Machine]] in seven years, is released. It is the first toon to not be displayed in [[Flash]], and instead an embedded [[YouTube]] player. It is also the longest toon on the site, over half an hour long.
*September 2 — Homestar Runner's 20th anniversary was celebrated at the [[Homestar Runner 20th Anniversary Show - 2 Sep 2016|Homestar Runner 20th Anniversary Show]], where [[Homestar Runner Goes For the Gold]] was presented (and later released on the site on December 24th). A [[Homestar Runner 20th Anniversary Show - 7 Oct 2016|second show]] occurred on October 7.

==[[H*R.com updates 2017|2017]]==
*July 12 — The first [[Skills of an Artist]] segment, [[Sammich]], is released on [[@StrongBadActual]]. New iterations of the series would go on to be released on a frequent basis.
*August 14 — The 207th [[Strong Bad Email]], [[too cool]], is released, marking the first email in two years.
*December 23 — The first Decemberween special in 7 years, [[Decemberween Dangeresque]], is released.

==[[H*R.com updates 2018|2018]]==
*January 13 — The [[Index Page]] is redesigned and the HTML version of [[TROGDOR!]] is released.
*January 24 — The first volume of [[The Deleteheads Download]] is sent to all subscribers at the time.
*July 17 — The [[Trogdor!! The Board Game]] Kickstarter is started and the new version of the [[Index Page]] is revealed.

==See Also==
*[[Firsts]]

[[Category:Past Updates]]

Poor Acting

2019-07-21T08:44:55Z

President Cold One: /* Appearances */

[[Image:xmas2002.png|thumb|"Uhh... I found a computer. I think it can help us!"]]

Despite the substantial number of budding actors in [[Free Country, USA]], many of the main [[characters]] appear to have '''poor acting''' abilities. In many commercials and stage-productions, the actors talk awkwardly and with little enthusiasm, and may occasionally laugh unconvincingly. On some occasions, even [[The Brothers Chaps]] themselves will indulge in some deliberately poor acting.

==Appearances==
*[[Fluffy Puff Commercial]] — While filming the commercial, Homestar mispronounces and later forgets his lines.
*[[First Time Here]] — Homestar once again forgets his lines and goes through 126 takes before Strong Bad bursts in to mock Homestar for being unable to remember his lines.
*[[A Decemberween Pageant]] — Most of the characters speak flatly throughout the pageant.
**[[Homestar Runner]] is unaware that he is on stage when he talks to [[Marzipan]] at the beginning.
**[[Bubs]] mishears one of [[Strong Bad]]'s lines and later mispronounces the word "gold".
**Strong Bad is later "attacked" by a squid and reacts unenthusiastically.
**In one scene, Strong Bad, Bubs, and Marzipan attempt to ad lib, but do so with much difficulty.
*Email [[suntan]] — [[Strong Sad]] reads his [[Ab-Abber 2000]] testimonial with a slow, stilted tone, like he's reading off a tele-prompter. He then talks to Strong Bad off camera while it's still recording.
*Email [[stunt double]] — All of the characters seem to speak quite slowly during the clips.
*[[Cheat Commandos (toon)]] — When Strong Bad provides the voices of each [[Cheat Commando]] toy, he speaks haltingly and unenthusiastically.
*Email [[dangeresque 3]] — Most of the dialogue in this movie can be considered to be clichéd.
**[[Coach Z]] misses his cue, speaks awkwardly on the phone and manages to muddle his line before asking the director, "How was that?"
**Strong Bad and Homestar seem to forget their lines during the racquetball scene, requiring them to ad lib, and laugh unconvincingly near the end of the movie.
*[[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 9.2]] — Homestar does poor imitations of Marzipan, Strong Bad, Coach Z, Strong Sad, and [[Homestar Runner and Homestar Runner's Relationship|himself]] after he accidentally leaves a bad message on Marzipan's Answering Machine.
*[[Sample of Style]] — [[The Brothers Chaps]] talk in cheesy voices throughout the skit.
*[[Blubb-O's Commercial]] — Strong Bad and Homestar Runner act unenthusiastically during this advert.
**Strong Bad, [[The Cheat]] and [[Strong Mad]] laugh forcibly near the beginning.
*[[SBCG4AP Gameplay Trailer]] — For the entire duration of this trailer, Strong Bad and Homestar speak unconvincingly and with little enthusiasm.
**At one point, Strong Bad calls Homestar "Hom...star" and, towards the end, quickly tells The Cheat to "Shut up."
*[[SBCG4AP Tutorial]] — Bubs forgets his part at first. When reminded, he speaks very flatly and unemotionally when he's supposed to be sad.
**Strong Bad and Strong Sad also say their lines rather impassively.
**All three characters break out of their parts and speak to each other normally throughout the tutorial.
*Email [[being mean]] — [[Drama Club|Coach Z's Nicetown Players]], consisting of Coach Z, [[Marzipan]] and Strong Mad, act poorly during their sketch about being nice; many of their lines are non sequiturs.
**Strong Mad misses his cue and later breaks character to tease Coach Z.
*[[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]] — The clichés and unconvincing deliveries prevalent in the first two ''Dangeresque'' movies are still common.
**Strong Bad accidentally answers the door before Marzipan knocks.
**Marzipan breaks character to criticize Strong Bad's explanation of the formula's origin and later again to remind him that she did not want to get her hair cut for the role.
**Strong Bad has to call Marzipan by her real name instead of her character's name in order for her to notice his distraction.
**Bubs constantly mispronounces "Dangeresque".
**Bubs mispronounced Perducci.
**Homestar breaks character during the threat video to ask if he should be evil and to order a melonade.
**Coach Z breaks character to say that the resolution to the kidnapping case was dumb.
**Strong Bad never actually tells Senor Cardgage that he is in a movie or gives him a script, and then pretends that what Senor Cardgage is saying is coherent to the movie.
**Strong Bad breaks out in laughter when he is supposed to threaten a [[cross-dressing]] [[The Poopsmith|Poopsmith]].
**Senor Cardgage walks away when he is supposed to be dead.
**Homestar has trouble trying to determine where to put emphasis in the statement "Come and get him!"
**When Strong Sad plays the Irish informant, he throws in an irrelevant quote from ''Dangeresque 1: Dangeresque, Too?'' because he hasn't gotten the latest script update.
**Marzipan accidentally calls Strong Bad by his real name instead of his character's name.
**[[The Cheat]] hesitates to say his own character's name (Craig), although this may be for dramatic effect.
*[[Coach Z's 110%]] — For the duration of the commercial, Coach Z speaks in a "more toned-down voice" than usual, thus sounding very static and detached.
**Strong Bad pauses awkwardly during his prerecorded endorsement.
**In one scene, Homestar acts exhausted and out of breath, before suddenly switching to a more enthusiastic manner.
*[[A Death-Defying Decemberween]] — Homestar, Coach Z and Bubs make a cheaply made holiday special in the [[Holiday-Themed Set]].
**In addition to the badly-made set and canned laughter, the characters speak in overstressed voices, making them sound fake, and Homestar and Bubs laugh unenthusiastically.
**Coach Z and Bubs can be seen throwing the "snow" outside the window and Coach Z's arm appears in the shot as he pulls away the cup of Hot Jones.
*[[Sbemailiarized!]] — Strong Bad's acting in the Sbemailiarized toons is very forced, particularly during the first example shown.
*Email [[hremail3184]] — While waiting for Strong Sad's Pop-Tart to [[Explosions|explode]], Strong Bad pretends to eat cereal from a bowl (empty, no less) and describes the "cereal" as "sooooo cerealy".
*Email [[independent]] — Homestar Runner is referred to as a washed-up actor and acts very stilted and dispassionate in Strong Sad's film.
*[[Poker Night at the Inventory]] — Strong Bad and [[Sam & Max|Max]] attempt to do a plug for Telltale Games's store, with Strong Bad speaking in the usual monotone and with Max forgetting his line and reading the punctuation in the URL out loud.
*[[Decemberween Dangeresque]] — Homestar Runner as [[Stingy Relenque]] breaks character to insist that his lines are totally [[French]]. He also adds lines such as "I'm still falling!" and "I can't believe I bounced!" in reference to his figurine stunt double.
*[[Trogdor!! The Board Game (video)]] — Strong Bad and Homestar Runner act out a game of [[Trogdor!! The Board Game]] in a flat monotone.
*[[Stack 'Em to the Heavens!]] — Strong Bad and Homestar again play the toon's titular game in flat, bored voices.

==See Also==
*[[Dangeresque (film series)]]
*[[Powered by the Cheat]]

[[Category:Activity running gags]]

Talk:Poor Acting

2019-07-21T08:41:21Z

President Cold One: /* Danger-skew! */

== Dangeresque 3 ==

Okay, before we add the newest Dangeresque movie to the article, we're gonna have to see if we can remember all the times they messed up. All I can remember right now is Strong Bad laughing at the costume when he tries to shoot the Poopsmith and Coach Z telling Strong Bad his solution to the kidnapping case was stupid. {{User:Bad Bad Guy/sig}} 21:50, 10 January 2009 (UTC)

== Danger-skew! ==

Is Bub's mispronounciation of Perducci as "Per-dookie" really a case of poor acting? His character, Baron Darin Diamonicle, seems to have it as a trait of his character to mispronounce names, given that he pronounces "Dangeresque" as "Danger-skew." [[User:President Cold One|President Cold One]] 08:41, 21 July 2019 (UTC)

Talk:Poor Acting

2019-07-21T08:40:50Z

President Cold One: /**/Danger-skew!

New Boots

2019-07-21T08:25:05Z

President Cold One: /* Fast Forward */ Link Fix'd! (Ow, my disambiguation page!)

{{toonnav|Powered by The Cheat|newboots|mile|Rap Song}}
[[Image:newboots02.png|thumb|right|220px|"Whoa, The Cheat! I can't believe what cool boots you have on!"]]

The Cheat gets some new boots. Also includes a Coach Z music video, "Hip Hop Dance"!

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|The Cheat}}, {{Film|Homestar Runner}}, {{Film|Coach Z}}, {{Film|Nebulon}}, [[Stripèd Green Rabbit]]

'''Places:''' [[The Field]], [[The Cheat's Computer Room]]

'''Date:''' Wednesday, April 7, 2004

'''Running Time:''' 2:46

'''Page Title:''' Powered by The Cheat!!

{{dvd|Everything Else, Volume 1}}

== Transcript ==
''{This cartoon was created by The Cheat. Strong Bad is singing to himself, while dribbling a basketball with one hand and spinning a second basketball on his other hand. The background is a low-quality photograph of the sky. He is wearing purple boxing gloves and his head appears to be a picture of his store figurine. His pants are hiked up on one side so that his underwear shows on the other side. The Cheat enters wearing cowboy boots with dollar signs on each boot. The background flips horizontally and lightning strikes as Strong Bad speaks.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, The Cheat! I can't believe what cool boots you have on, where did you get them?

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, I see; a cute girl and an astronaut gave them to you.

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{imperative The Cheat noises}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yes, I'll go get you a patty melt.

''{He exits with his different body parts overcrossing. The basketball he was spinning remains in midair. A giant fist, similar to Strong Mad's, sends Homestar, who is wearing a sock in place of his right shoe, tumbling onscreen. The basketball Strong Bad had left behind finally falls to the ground.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Dang The Cheat, I like your boots!

''{Homestar's cell phone rings in his shirt. He answers it.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{on the cell}'' Thanks for calling me. The Cheat is wearing cool boots. Can I have my shoe back?

''{His missing shoe comes flying in and hits him in the face.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''' ''{on the cell}'' Thanks, one million. Talk to you later.

''{Strong Bad walks in, carrying a picnic basket, as Homestar puts the cell away. Strong Bad's arm briefly detaches from his body, then reattaches itself.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' The Cheat I made your favorite, a picnic plate with wine and a baguette. ''{smiles and a "ding" sound is heard}'' Can I get you something else?

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I'll have some, soup.

''{Strong Bad's leg extends, snakes over The Cheat, and finally trips Homestar.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' The Cheat, get that man ''some'' soup.

''{The Cheat makes a noise and pours soup on Homestar's eyes.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' OK! Hot soup is on my eye.

''{The Cheat jumps on Homestar's head and starts doing a dance. A hip-hop-style loop of vocal samples starts up out of nowhere.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh no! Now you're doing a hip-hop dance on my head!

'''COACH Z:''' ''{entering}'' Hey that's a good dance! ''{leaves}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' High five, The Cheat!

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises}''

''{Strong Bad and The Cheat extend their hands into space, where they [[high five]]. The words, 'A very high-five' appear for a moment then disappear. An alien named Nebulon floats on screen.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Talking through his hand}'' Get out of here, Nebulon! No one likes ''your'' style.

''{Nebulon frowns, and sulkily floats off screen. The "[[Sound Effects|Strong Mad in space]]" sound signifies his departure.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Talking through his hand}'' The Cheat, do you like Nebulon's style?

''{We see Strong Bad and The Cheat watching the scene in The Cheat's Computer Room.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Purple boxing gloves?! Did you do any fact-checking before you turned this in? What if I did that to you? Oh yeah, The Cheat, he's a...stripèd, green rabbit! With two butts!

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{angry The Cheat noises}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' But you made my underwears showing! Everybody knows I don't wear underwears!

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{pleading The Cheat noises}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Mmm...all right... You get an...iron cup. Full of Brunswick Stew. ''{places cup of stew on table}''

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{excited The Cheat noises}''

''{The Cheat pulls the cup over to his side of the table}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' But lemme tell ya's. With a little extra effort, it would have been a trophy full of ''Steak-umms.''

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{sad The Cheat noise (in an "Awww" pattern)}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Guy drops a couple of JPEGs in his cartoon and thinks he's like, the guy who draws The Lockhorns or something. Now that guy knows funny!

''{Fade to black, cut to Coach Z's Hip Hop Dance music video.}''

'''COACH Z:''' Ladies all the time be asking me, 
"Coach Z, how come you don't dance no more?" 
And I say, Ladies, ladies! 

Just give me a chance to do a hip-hop... dance 
Give me a chance to do a dance! (Oh yeah!) 
Give me a chance to do a hip-hop dance 
Give me a chance to do a dance! (Cool time!)

The Roger Rabbit, the Cabbage Patch, the Locomotive, 
"Coach Z, how come you don't dance no more?"

Just give me a chance to do a hip-hop... dance 
Give me a chance to do a dance! 
Give me a chance to do a hip-hop dance 
C'mon... 
(Give me a chance to do a dance!) 
Gimme a chance! 

== Easter Eggs ==
[[Image:Lockhorn Comic.PNG|thumb|"yer a bum!"]]
*Click on The Cheat's computer screen when Strong Bad says "Oh yeah, The Cheat; he's a... striped green rabbit with two butts" to see a Powered by The Cheat rendering of such a rabbit.
*Click on The Cheat's computer screen when Strong Bad mentions "the guy who draws The Lockhorns" to see The Cheat drawn in the style of the comic strip ''[[Wikipedia:The Lockhorns|The Lockhorns]]''.

== Fun Facts ==
===Explanations===
*A [[Wikipedia:patty melt|patty melt]] is a sandwich consisting of a hamburger patty, swiss cheese and sautéed onion between two slices of rye bread. The sandwich is grilled so that the cheese melts thoroughly and the outside becomes toasted to a crunchy golden brown.
*[[Wikipedia:Brunswick stew|Brunswick Stew]] is a genuine stew containing various beans, corn, and other vegetables, and one or more types of meat. Most recipes claiming authenticity call for squirrel or rabbit meat, but most contain only chicken, pork, and beef. For more information, see [http://tourbrunswick.org/brunswick_stew.htm this site].

===Trivia===
*When this toon premiered, it was entitled "Powered by the Cheat". When the "Powered by the Cheat" option was added to the [[TV Time Toons Menu]], it was renamed "New Boots".
*Strong Bad's head in this cartoon is a picture of a [[Store#figurines set one|Strong Bad miniature figurine]]'s head.

===Remarks===
*The sky background reverses when The Cheat first walks in.
*When The Cheat starts dancing on Homestar's face, his sprite [[Flipped Images|flips horizontally]], causing the dollar signs on his boots to appear backwards.
**When Strong Bad knocks Homestar over, The Cheat animates this by flipping Homestar horizontally before rotating him. Due to this, it appears that his sock-covered foot switches legs.
*There has actually been evidence of Strong Bad wearing [[underwear]] before, in the Strong Bad Email [[stand-up]]. There has since been further evidence in [[senior prom]], [[Main Page 24]] and [[nightlife]].
*In The Cheat's animation, Homestar Runner's tongue is visible when he talks, while in normal animations this does not happen; there is in fact no indication that Homestar even has a tongue (though his tongue can later be seen in [[hygiene]]).
*The animation also seems to show that Homestar does have shoes, and even wears socks under them. However, The Cheat's cartoons are often not true to reality (or at least to the "reality" of [[Free Country, USA]]).
*The 3D Coach Z animation is actually 3D when viewed through 3D glasses.
*The Wanted sign where Coach Z is dancing appears to be on a wallpaper with flowers.
*Nebulon's graffiti tag, NEB-1, appears briefly in the background.
*Coach Z is shown doing breakdancing moves in the video, including airchairs and windmills.
*Coach Z has his hat colors reversed during the whole video.
*In "step 3" of Coach Z's dance, his arms bend backwards.
*After The Cheat tells where he got the boots, for a brief moment Strong Bad has his natural rectangular mouth and a round mouth overlapping it when he says the "Oh" in "Oh, I see."
* Homestar's shoe would not cover all his sock, therefore he should have a sock sticking up on his shoe covered foot.

===Inside References===
*The part about pouring hot soup in Homestar's eyes is a reference to [[different town]] where Strong Bad initially thinks that's what the author of that email was asking him to do.
*The sound that plays when [[Nebulon]] leaves is the same as when Strong Mad is in space in [[Marshmallow's Last Stand]].
*The "Unda-wears showing" line is a reference to [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 4]].
*The picnic plate with wine and a baguette is an instance of [[alcohol]].
*The loading screen is similar to that of [[Tandy 400]]-era [[Strong Bad Email]]s.
*Coach Z reverts to his old-school ''pink'' The Cheat style during his lines "Cool time!" and "The Locomotive!".
*During Coach Z's video, there is a small 3D clip similar to the Easter egg in [[stunt double]].
*The album title [[All up ons|The Z Is All Up Ins]] is a reference to Strong Bad's comment in [[suntan]] about the ladies being "all up ons".
*The rhythm for Coach Z's Hip Hop Dance was used earlier in [[The House That Gave Sucky Treats]] as the door-knocking rhythm when [[Bubs]] arrives at the door.
*The name of the album "The Z is All Up Ins" appears in the secret music video for [[These peoples try to fade me]] on [[Strong Bad Sings and Other Type Hits]].

===Real-World References===
*The Cheat's boots are possibly a reference to the [[David Bowie]] song "The Man Who Sold The World". On the inside liner cover of the similarly titled [[Wikipedia:The Man Who Sold the World|record album]], there is a picture of a cowboy holding a shotgun, with a pair of boots with dollar signs emblazoned on the sides of them that look almost exactly like the boots The Cheat is wearing in the toon.
*"[http://www.steakumm.com/ Steak-umms]" are a brand of frozen strips of cooked beef that can be heated in a pan and put on sandwiches. They are frequently used in the creation of [[Wikipedia:Philly cheese steak|Philly cheese steaks]].
*''[[Wikipedia:The Lockhorns|The Lockhorns]]'' is a syndicated comic strip currently produced by Bunny Hoest (wife of creator Bill Hoest) and John Reiner.
*The small, pixelated Coach Z appears to be an edited ''[[Wikipedia:Mega Man (video game)|Mega Man]]'' sprite.
*The Roger Rabbit, the Cabbage Patch, and the Locomotive are all real [http://www.inthe80s.com/80sdance.shtml dances].

===Fast Forward===
*The phrase "Get out of here, Nebulon! No one likes your style!" is also used in the game [[Stinkoman 20X6]] when beating the end boss of Level 5. It is also referred to by Alien Marzipan in a [[narrator]] Easter egg, although she admits she's always admired his styles.
*"[[-èd|Stripèd]]" would later be used in [[highschool]], [[alternate universe]], [[That Time of Year]], and [[the paper]].
*Strong Bad (as [[Dangeresque (character)|Dangeresque]]) says "Oh, so that's why you don't dance no more" to Coach Z (as [[Renaldo]]) in [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]].

== DVD Version ==
*The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

===Commentary Transcript===
('''Commentary by:''' [[Mike Chapman]], [[Ryan Sterritt]], [[Matt Chapman]])

'''MIKE:''' Get in here, Ryan, why don't you say hello to the guys here?

'''RYAN:''' Hi, guys! I'm here.

'''MATT:''' Look at The Cheat, Mike! The Cheat usually doesn't have feet, yet how is he wearing those buttes?

'''MIKE:''' And not only boots, but expensive boots, probably.

'''RYAN:''' Money.

'''MATT:''' Yeah.

'''MIKE:''' The price tag is just, uh, embroidered in the boots themselves.

'''MATT:''' Strong Bad, umm... oh—Strong Bad never really expresses much athletic inclination, but in this email, he's twirling two—he's dribbling and twirling a basketball!

'''MIKE:''' He's ta—he's talented!

'''MATT:''' ''{sotto voce}'' And here he is!

'''MIKE:''' He doesn't smile very much, which he does in this cartoon, too!

'''MATT:''' Yeah, that's true. He's got quite a grin.

'''MIKE:''' Ah, "can I get you something else?" We've actually made a song... sampling. ''{as Powered by The Cheat Strong Bad}'' Can I get you something else? Can I get you something else? ''{Matt and/or Ryan starts dropping beats}'' Can I get, can I get, can I get, can I get you something else?

'''MATT:''' Oh, wait— ''{pause}'' That's another good song. The chip-chop dance.

'''MIKE:''' ''{as Coach Z}'' "Hey, that's a good dance!"

'''MATT:''' Hey Mike—so let's talk about how Mike does all the voices, Ryan.

'''MIKE:''' So, whenever we do commentary for Cheat cartoons, I just sit there and do the voices.

'''MATT:''' Yeah. Do the voice of Nebulon.

'''MIKE:''' Bloodleeedleoodleedlee!

'''MATT:''' That's probably my favorite moment in any Homestar cartoon ever, is when Nebulon ages a thousand years when he's so sad. ''{pause}'' Ryan, what if he did that to you?

'''RYAN:''' I might be upset.

'''MATT:''' Yeah. ''{pause}'' What do you think of The Cheat's flash styles, Ryan?

'''RYAN:''' I think he's talented...

'''MATT:''' Mm-hmm.

'''RYAN:''' And an artist.

'''MATT:''' A talented artist! What do you think of Brunswick stew, Ry?

'''RYAN:''' In a chalice?

'''MATT:''' Where do they have good Brunswick stew around here?

'''RYAN:''' Savannah, Georgia.

'''MATT:''' Ah.

'''MIKE:''' ''{simultaneously}'' Sonny's has a pretty good Brunswick stew.

'''MATT:''' Does it?

'''RYAN:''' Riff store has it in a bread bowl.

'''MATT:''' Oh, yeah. A bread bool.

'''MIKE:''' ''{simultaneously}'' Oh, yeah! Is that what they call the volcano?

'''RYAN:''' The volcano.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, that is good.

'''RYAN:''' Oh!

'''MATT:''' Who forgot about this?

'''RYAN:''' I did! Look at those ladies! How c—how—

'''MIKE:''' Those ladies are way out of Coach Z's league, I think.

'''RYAN:''' That's the Roger Rabbit, clearly, and that—or is ''that'' the Roger Rabbit? Nah, he was doing—the first was the cabbage patch, sorry.

'''MIKE:''' ''{sotto voce}'' Yeah.

'''MATT:''' Umm... there you go, see. He lets you know. ''{pause}'' Look at those luscious lips. I like those luscious lips.

'''MIKE:''' Coach Z's got 'em.

'''MATT:''' And there's Neb—Neb 1! My favorite graffiti artist!

'''MIKE:''' ''{simultaneously}'' I like the little Mega Man Coach Z.

'''MATT:''' That's the second hip-hop video that The Cheat's made for Coach Z!

===Real-World References===
*Mike mentions [[Wikipedia:Mega Man|Mega Man]].

== See Also ==
*The [[Hip Hop Dance Visuals|visuals]] for the Hip Hop Dance video.

== External Links ==
*[[HR:newboots.html|watch "New Boots"]]
*[[HR:newboots.swf|view the Flash file for "New Boots"]]
*[[Forum:68|forum thread re: "New Boots"]]
[[Category:Shorts]][[Category:Powered by The Cheat]][[Category:Songs]][[Category:DVD Commentary]]

New Boots

2019-07-21T08:23:54Z

President Cold One: /* Fast Forward */ Dangeresque 3: The Coach Z Don't Dance No More Referrence... IN 3D!

{{toonnav|Powered by The Cheat|newboots|mile|Rap Song}}
[[Image:newboots02.png|thumb|right|220px|"Whoa, The Cheat! I can't believe what cool boots you have on!"]]

The Cheat gets some new boots. Also includes a Coach Z music video, "Hip Hop Dance"!

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|The Cheat}}, {{Film|Homestar Runner}}, {{Film|Coach Z}}, {{Film|Nebulon}}, [[Stripèd Green Rabbit]]

'''Places:''' [[The Field]], [[The Cheat's Computer Room]]

'''Date:''' Wednesday, April 7, 2004

'''Running Time:''' 2:46

'''Page Title:''' Powered by The Cheat!!

{{dvd|Everything Else, Volume 1}}

== Transcript ==
''{This cartoon was created by The Cheat. Strong Bad is singing to himself, while dribbling a basketball with one hand and spinning a second basketball on his other hand. The background is a low-quality photograph of the sky. He is wearing purple boxing gloves and his head appears to be a picture of his store figurine. His pants are hiked up on one side so that his underwear shows on the other side. The Cheat enters wearing cowboy boots with dollar signs on each boot. The background flips horizontally and lightning strikes as Strong Bad speaks.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, The Cheat! I can't believe what cool boots you have on, where did you get them?

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, I see; a cute girl and an astronaut gave them to you.

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{imperative The Cheat noises}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yes, I'll go get you a patty melt.

''{He exits with his different body parts overcrossing. The basketball he was spinning remains in midair. A giant fist, similar to Strong Mad's, sends Homestar, who is wearing a sock in place of his right shoe, tumbling onscreen. The basketball Strong Bad had left behind finally falls to the ground.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Dang The Cheat, I like your boots!

''{Homestar's cell phone rings in his shirt. He answers it.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{on the cell}'' Thanks for calling me. The Cheat is wearing cool boots. Can I have my shoe back?

''{His missing shoe comes flying in and hits him in the face.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''' ''{on the cell}'' Thanks, one million. Talk to you later.

''{Strong Bad walks in, carrying a picnic basket, as Homestar puts the cell away. Strong Bad's arm briefly detaches from his body, then reattaches itself.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' The Cheat I made your favorite, a picnic plate with wine and a baguette. ''{smiles and a "ding" sound is heard}'' Can I get you something else?

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I'll have some, soup.

''{Strong Bad's leg extends, snakes over The Cheat, and finally trips Homestar.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' The Cheat, get that man ''some'' soup.

''{The Cheat makes a noise and pours soup on Homestar's eyes.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' OK! Hot soup is on my eye.

''{The Cheat jumps on Homestar's head and starts doing a dance. A hip-hop-style loop of vocal samples starts up out of nowhere.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh no! Now you're doing a hip-hop dance on my head!

'''COACH Z:''' ''{entering}'' Hey that's a good dance! ''{leaves}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' High five, The Cheat!

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises}''

''{Strong Bad and The Cheat extend their hands into space, where they [[high five]]. The words, 'A very high-five' appear for a moment then disappear. An alien named Nebulon floats on screen.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Talking through his hand}'' Get out of here, Nebulon! No one likes ''your'' style.

''{Nebulon frowns, and sulkily floats off screen. The "[[Sound Effects|Strong Mad in space]]" sound signifies his departure.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Talking through his hand}'' The Cheat, do you like Nebulon's style?

''{We see Strong Bad and The Cheat watching the scene in The Cheat's Computer Room.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Purple boxing gloves?! Did you do any fact-checking before you turned this in? What if I did that to you? Oh yeah, The Cheat, he's a...stripèd, green rabbit! With two butts!

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{angry The Cheat noises}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' But you made my underwears showing! Everybody knows I don't wear underwears!

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{pleading The Cheat noises}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Mmm...all right... You get an...iron cup. Full of Brunswick Stew. ''{places cup of stew on table}''

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{excited The Cheat noises}''

''{The Cheat pulls the cup over to his side of the table}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' But lemme tell ya's. With a little extra effort, it would have been a trophy full of ''Steak-umms.''

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{sad The Cheat noise (in an "Awww" pattern)}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Guy drops a couple of JPEGs in his cartoon and thinks he's like, the guy who draws The Lockhorns or something. Now that guy knows funny!

''{Fade to black, cut to Coach Z's Hip Hop Dance music video.}''

'''COACH Z:''' Ladies all the time be asking me, 
"Coach Z, how come you don't dance no more?" 
And I say, Ladies, ladies! 

Just give me a chance to do a hip-hop... dance 
Give me a chance to do a dance! (Oh yeah!) 
Give me a chance to do a hip-hop dance 
Give me a chance to do a dance! (Cool time!)

The Roger Rabbit, the Cabbage Patch, the Locomotive, 
"Coach Z, how come you don't dance no more?"

Just give me a chance to do a hip-hop... dance 
Give me a chance to do a dance! 
Give me a chance to do a hip-hop dance 
C'mon... 
(Give me a chance to do a dance!) 
Gimme a chance! 

== Easter Eggs ==
[[Image:Lockhorn Comic.PNG|thumb|"yer a bum!"]]
*Click on The Cheat's computer screen when Strong Bad says "Oh yeah, The Cheat; he's a... striped green rabbit with two butts" to see a Powered by The Cheat rendering of such a rabbit.
*Click on The Cheat's computer screen when Strong Bad mentions "the guy who draws The Lockhorns" to see The Cheat drawn in the style of the comic strip ''[[Wikipedia:The Lockhorns|The Lockhorns]]''.

== Fun Facts ==
===Explanations===
*A [[Wikipedia:patty melt|patty melt]] is a sandwich consisting of a hamburger patty, swiss cheese and sautéed onion between two slices of rye bread. The sandwich is grilled so that the cheese melts thoroughly and the outside becomes toasted to a crunchy golden brown.
*[[Wikipedia:Brunswick stew|Brunswick Stew]] is a genuine stew containing various beans, corn, and other vegetables, and one or more types of meat. Most recipes claiming authenticity call for squirrel or rabbit meat, but most contain only chicken, pork, and beef. For more information, see [http://tourbrunswick.org/brunswick_stew.htm this site].

===Trivia===
*When this toon premiered, it was entitled "Powered by the Cheat". When the "Powered by the Cheat" option was added to the [[TV Time Toons Menu]], it was renamed "New Boots".
*Strong Bad's head in this cartoon is a picture of a [[Store#figurines set one|Strong Bad miniature figurine]]'s head.

===Remarks===
*The sky background reverses when The Cheat first walks in.
*When The Cheat starts dancing on Homestar's face, his sprite [[Flipped Images|flips horizontally]], causing the dollar signs on his boots to appear backwards.
**When Strong Bad knocks Homestar over, The Cheat animates this by flipping Homestar horizontally before rotating him. Due to this, it appears that his sock-covered foot switches legs.
*There has actually been evidence of Strong Bad wearing [[underwear]] before, in the Strong Bad Email [[stand-up]]. There has since been further evidence in [[senior prom]], [[Main Page 24]] and [[nightlife]].
*In The Cheat's animation, Homestar Runner's tongue is visible when he talks, while in normal animations this does not happen; there is in fact no indication that Homestar even has a tongue (though his tongue can later be seen in [[hygiene]]).
*The animation also seems to show that Homestar does have shoes, and even wears socks under them. However, The Cheat's cartoons are often not true to reality (or at least to the "reality" of [[Free Country, USA]]).
*The 3D Coach Z animation is actually 3D when viewed through 3D glasses.
*The Wanted sign where Coach Z is dancing appears to be on a wallpaper with flowers.
*Nebulon's graffiti tag, NEB-1, appears briefly in the background.
*Coach Z is shown doing breakdancing moves in the video, including airchairs and windmills.
*Coach Z has his hat colors reversed during the whole video.
*In "step 3" of Coach Z's dance, his arms bend backwards.
*After The Cheat tells where he got the boots, for a brief moment Strong Bad has his natural rectangular mouth and a round mouth overlapping it when he says the "Oh" in "Oh, I see."
* Homestar's shoe would not cover all his sock, therefore he should have a sock sticking up on his shoe covered foot.

===Inside References===
*The part about pouring hot soup in Homestar's eyes is a reference to [[different town]] where Strong Bad initially thinks that's what the author of that email was asking him to do.
*The sound that plays when [[Nebulon]] leaves is the same as when Strong Mad is in space in [[Marshmallow's Last Stand]].
*The "Unda-wears showing" line is a reference to [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 4]].
*The picnic plate with wine and a baguette is an instance of [[alcohol]].
*The loading screen is similar to that of [[Tandy 400]]-era [[Strong Bad Email]]s.
*Coach Z reverts to his old-school ''pink'' The Cheat style during his lines "Cool time!" and "The Locomotive!".
*During Coach Z's video, there is a small 3D clip similar to the Easter egg in [[stunt double]].
*The album title [[All up ons|The Z Is All Up Ins]] is a reference to Strong Bad's comment in [[suntan]] about the ladies being "all up ons".
*The rhythm for Coach Z's Hip Hop Dance was used earlier in [[The House That Gave Sucky Treats]] as the door-knocking rhythm when [[Bubs]] arrives at the door.
*The name of the album "The Z is All Up Ins" appears in the secret music video for [[These peoples try to fade me]] on [[Strong Bad Sings and Other Type Hits]].

===Real-World References===
*The Cheat's boots are possibly a reference to the [[David Bowie]] song "The Man Who Sold The World". On the inside liner cover of the similarly titled [[Wikipedia:The Man Who Sold the World|record album]], there is a picture of a cowboy holding a shotgun, with a pair of boots with dollar signs emblazoned on the sides of them that look almost exactly like the boots The Cheat is wearing in the toon.
*"[http://www.steakumm.com/ Steak-umms]" are a brand of frozen strips of cooked beef that can be heated in a pan and put on sandwiches. They are frequently used in the creation of [[Wikipedia:Philly cheese steak|Philly cheese steaks]].
*''[[Wikipedia:The Lockhorns|The Lockhorns]]'' is a syndicated comic strip currently produced by Bunny Hoest (wife of creator Bill Hoest) and John Reiner.
*The small, pixelated Coach Z appears to be an edited ''[[Wikipedia:Mega Man (video game)|Mega Man]]'' sprite.
*The Roger Rabbit, the Cabbage Patch, and the Locomotive are all real [http://www.inthe80s.com/80sdance.shtml dances].

===Fast Forward===
*The phrase "Get out of here, Nebulon! No one likes your style!" is also used in the game [[Stinkoman 20X6]] when beating the end boss of Level 5. It is also referred to by Alien Marzipan in a [[narrator]] Easter egg, although she admits she's always admired his styles.
*"[[-èd|Stripèd]]" would later be used in [[highschool]], [[alternate universe]], [[That Time of Year]], and [[the paper]].
*Strong Bad (as [[Dangeresque]]) says "Oh, so that's why you don't dance no more" to Coach Z (as [[Renaldo]]) in [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]].

== DVD Version ==
*The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

===Commentary Transcript===
('''Commentary by:''' [[Mike Chapman]], [[Ryan Sterritt]], [[Matt Chapman]])

'''MIKE:''' Get in here, Ryan, why don't you say hello to the guys here?

'''RYAN:''' Hi, guys! I'm here.

'''MATT:''' Look at The Cheat, Mike! The Cheat usually doesn't have feet, yet how is he wearing those buttes?

'''MIKE:''' And not only boots, but expensive boots, probably.

'''RYAN:''' Money.

'''MATT:''' Yeah.

'''MIKE:''' The price tag is just, uh, embroidered in the boots themselves.

'''MATT:''' Strong Bad, umm... oh—Strong Bad never really expresses much athletic inclination, but in this email, he's twirling two—he's dribbling and twirling a basketball!

'''MIKE:''' He's ta—he's talented!

'''MATT:''' ''{sotto voce}'' And here he is!

'''MIKE:''' He doesn't smile very much, which he does in this cartoon, too!

'''MATT:''' Yeah, that's true. He's got quite a grin.

'''MIKE:''' Ah, "can I get you something else?" We've actually made a song... sampling. ''{as Powered by The Cheat Strong Bad}'' Can I get you something else? Can I get you something else? ''{Matt and/or Ryan starts dropping beats}'' Can I get, can I get, can I get, can I get you something else?

'''MATT:''' Oh, wait— ''{pause}'' That's another good song. The chip-chop dance.

'''MIKE:''' ''{as Coach Z}'' "Hey, that's a good dance!"

'''MATT:''' Hey Mike—so let's talk about how Mike does all the voices, Ryan.

'''MIKE:''' So, whenever we do commentary for Cheat cartoons, I just sit there and do the voices.

'''MATT:''' Yeah. Do the voice of Nebulon.

'''MIKE:''' Bloodleeedleoodleedlee!

'''MATT:''' That's probably my favorite moment in any Homestar cartoon ever, is when Nebulon ages a thousand years when he's so sad. ''{pause}'' Ryan, what if he did that to you?

'''RYAN:''' I might be upset.

'''MATT:''' Yeah. ''{pause}'' What do you think of The Cheat's flash styles, Ryan?

'''RYAN:''' I think he's talented...

'''MATT:''' Mm-hmm.

'''RYAN:''' And an artist.

'''MATT:''' A talented artist! What do you think of Brunswick stew, Ry?

'''RYAN:''' In a chalice?

'''MATT:''' Where do they have good Brunswick stew around here?

'''RYAN:''' Savannah, Georgia.

'''MATT:''' Ah.

'''MIKE:''' ''{simultaneously}'' Sonny's has a pretty good Brunswick stew.

'''MATT:''' Does it?

'''RYAN:''' Riff store has it in a bread bowl.

'''MATT:''' Oh, yeah. A bread bool.

'''MIKE:''' ''{simultaneously}'' Oh, yeah! Is that what they call the volcano?

'''RYAN:''' The volcano.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, that is good.

'''RYAN:''' Oh!

'''MATT:''' Who forgot about this?

'''RYAN:''' I did! Look at those ladies! How c—how—

'''MIKE:''' Those ladies are way out of Coach Z's league, I think.

'''RYAN:''' That's the Roger Rabbit, clearly, and that—or is ''that'' the Roger Rabbit? Nah, he was doing—the first was the cabbage patch, sorry.

'''MIKE:''' ''{sotto voce}'' Yeah.

'''MATT:''' Umm... there you go, see. He lets you know. ''{pause}'' Look at those luscious lips. I like those luscious lips.

'''MIKE:''' Coach Z's got 'em.

'''MATT:''' And there's Neb—Neb 1! My favorite graffiti artist!

'''MIKE:''' ''{simultaneously}'' I like the little Mega Man Coach Z.

'''MATT:''' That's the second hip-hop video that The Cheat's made for Coach Z!

===Real-World References===
*Mike mentions [[Wikipedia:Mega Man|Mega Man]].

== See Also ==
*The [[Hip Hop Dance Visuals|visuals]] for the Hip Hop Dance video.

== External Links ==
*[[HR:newboots.html|watch "New Boots"]]
*[[HR:newboots.swf|view the Flash file for "New Boots"]]
*[[Forum:68|forum thread re: "New Boots"]]
[[Category:Shorts]][[Category:Powered by The Cheat]][[Category:Songs]][[Category:DVD Commentary]]

Quesos

2019-07-21T03:30:44Z

President Cold One:

[[File:9.jpg|thumb|"I'll call them Quesos."]]
'''Quesos''' are the form of currency that [[Strong Badia]] uses. They appear to be the money from [[Maps and Minions]] with Strong Bad's image drawn on them, with "Strong Badia", "[[Lowercase i's|i]]'m so great", and "Come on Guys" written around the edges. The image of Strong Bad is similar to [[Powered by The Cheat]] Strong Bad from [[mile]]. Quesos were first used in the [[SBCG4AP]] episode [[Strong Badia the Free]]. Quesos look strikingly similar to [[Monopoly Money]]. According to Strong Bad, Quesos are "the most [[moist]] and juicy of all barely legal tender". According to [[Bubs]], 100 quesos is worth at least a million [[The Poopsmith|Poopees]]. In [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]], one of the thing's [[Uzi Bazooka|Homestar's character]] demands is a million dollars in Quesos. "Quesos" is a pun on [[Wikipedia:Mexican Peso|pesos]], Mexican currency, although in [[Spanish]], "quesos" actually means [[cheese|cheeses]].

==Appearances==
*[[Strong Badia the Free]]
*[[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]] (mentioned)

[[Category:Items]]

the paper

2019-07-21T02:25:03Z

President Cold One: /* Fast-Forward */

{{sbenav|173}}

[[Image:Sbemail173thepaper.PNG|thumb|"Did you hear that? It said 'Preeeeow!'"]]

{{aboutemail}}{{for|[[pseudocharacter]]|The Paper}}

Strong Bad reminisces about [[The Paper]] as it passes away.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{film|Strong Bad}}, [[The Paper]], [[Lil' Strong Bad]], [[Lil' Strong Sad]][[Category: Strong Sad Filmography]], {{film|Homestar Runner}}, {{film|Homsar}}, {{film|Bubs}}, [[New Paper]], {{film|Coach Z}} (Easter egg)

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[Gymnasium]], [[The Island]]

{{Comp|Lappy 486}}

'''Date:''' Monday, June 11, 2007

'''Running Time:''' 3:08

'''Page Title:''' Lappy 486

{{dvd|strongbad_email.exe Disc Six}}

==Transcript==
'''STRONG BAD:''' Check the deck, y'all! Press eject, y'all! Well, it's another email and I'm about to reject y'all!

<blockquote class="lappy email"><div>
subject: The Paper...</div>
Dear Strongbad, 
Is the Paper really quitting? Could you tell me the best 
moment that you had with the paper? 
Thank You 
Kyle Williams 
North Ogden, Utah
</blockquote>

''{Strong Bad reads the state as "Eww-tah".}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' No, The Paper's not quitting, Kyle, you total Ogdenite. Ol' Papes is at the top of his game, the prime of his time, the cusp of his stuff!

''{The printer falls onto Strong Bad, knocking him offscreen.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' OW!!!

''{Cut back to show the full computer room. The wrecked printer is on the ground, with Strong Bad reeling next to it. The printer prints a sheet with a sickly, distorted sound. A dramatic chord plays. Cut to a closeup of The Paper, which reads "I tHiNK i'MM rEAlllyy QUItTinG sTROng BBBaD".}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{offscreen}'' THE PAPER! NO!!!

''{Cut back to a shot of the whole screen.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Why do all my thirty-year-old electronics keep breaking on me?!

''{Cut to a closeup of The Paper, which prints out some more text reading "wE haDd A goOd RUN, oLD buDddy."}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{offscreen}'' We sure did, pal.

''{Cut back}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Why, I remember the day you were born like it was about to happen in a wavy flashback...

''{Harp music plays. It transitions to Lil' Strong Bad and Strong Sad, in front of a computer and printer. Strong Sad is typing.}''

'''LIL' STRONG BAD:''' Hurry up, Diaper Stripe! I wanna print out that butt I made out of hyphens and dollar signs!

''{Strong Sad hits a key, and a paper prints out of the printer.}''

'''LIL' STRONG BAD:''' Did you hear that?

''{Cut to a closeup of The Paper coming out of the printer, which reads "Preeeeow, world."}''

'''LIL' STRONG BAD:''' ''{offscreen}'' It said "Preeeeow!"

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' And you were always phenomenal over the boards on defense!

''{Cut to the stadium. Strong Bad is wearing a headband, dancing in front of a basketball hoop as though blocking it. Homestar Runner holds a football and is wearing kneepads and a purple shirt that reads "Team Kneepads 15". The scoreboard gives a score of "?" for the Home team and "$" for the Visitors.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Homestar had the ball at the top of the key. ''{bounces the football twice}'' Dribble, dribble, ''{throws it toward the hoop}'' shoot!

''{The Paper comes down reading "Manute Bol" in front of the hoop, blocking the shot. Strong Bad looks up.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Ooooh! ''{closeup}'' Get that weak mess outta here!

''{Cut to a closeup of Homestar}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Aw, man! Wish I had a time-and-space-transcending piece of paper on ''my'' team.

''{Cut back a bit. Homsar is hovering in midair behind Homestar, wearing a similar shirt but with the number ".4". He has a kneepad on his hat instead of his legs.}''

'''HOMSAR:''' ''{his hat flies offscreen}'' AaAaAaAaAaAaA ''{his hat lands on Strong Bad}'' aAaAaAaAa...

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover, over Homsar}'' I will admit, I wasn't crazy about your goth phase.

''{Cut to Strong Bad in the computer room, in front of the [[Compy 386|Compy]]. A black version of The Paper designed to resemble bat wings comes down with a purple glow and a drop of [[blood]] that slowly drips off. It has the usual text printed in a Gothic font, but it's nearly unreadable.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Ahh! ''{Looks up, holds up his hands in a defensive stance.}''

''{Cut to Strong Bad in front of the Compy up close.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Or your preppy phase, for that matter.

''{The Paper comes down. It appears to be wearing a pink polo shirt with a turquoise scarf. The shirt has "Tennis" stitched into it with an image of a tennis racket above it. Only the word "golf" is visible on The Paper itself. Strong Bad looks up, then down.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' But you always watched out for your younger brothers and sisters.

''{Another drop of blood drips down from The Paper. Cut to computer room with the Lappy on the desk. Homestar is wrapped up in paper dangling from the ceiling. A bottle of Mountain Dew is visible on the desk.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Look, I was just trying to pour Mountain Dew on it! Ohwait. I mean Mello Yello on it! Ohwait. I mean Sierra Mist!

''{Cut to a closeup of Homestar.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Fresca! ''{pronounced "fresha"}'' Surge!

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' And who knows how many times you saved my shiny black keister?

''{Cut to Strong Bad, on the Island, which has a hole in it and is slowly sinking. Strong Bad is wearing a ragged bandanna. Many shark fins appear circling the island.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' How is this island sinking?! I didn't even kill any end bosses!

''{The Paper comes down reading "Anybody need a lift?"}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{looking up}'' The Paper! I thought you were still in Pyongyang! Let's go! Jump!

''{He jumps up and grabs The Paper, which reels upwards. Cut back to a silhouetted version of the scene over a sunset. Strong Bad and The Paper appear to be flying away from the island. The Population: Tire video game music plays. The words "GAME OVER" and "PROGRAMMERS:" appear after a moment as the island sinks completely. Transition back to the computer room.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' I can't believe this is really it!

''{Cut to a closeup of The Paper. With a dying sound, it prints out "iT is Tiime. YOU kNOw WhHat to dO."}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{offscreen}'' Farewell—

''{Cut to a full shot. Strong Bad pats the printer.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' —my stripèd friend.

''{Strong Bad pulls out the [[BMW Lighter]]. Cut to a closeup of The Paper again. Strong Bad burns it, leaving ashes that read "BYE NOW". Cut back.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing, distressed}'' And The Paper goeth into the ''{a spotlight shines down on Strong Bad}'' niiIIiiIIiiIIght!

''{The scene fades out, then back in to Strong Bad in front of the Lappy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{looking up}'' How's it comin' up there, Bubs?

''{Bubs's hand drops down.}''

'''BUBS:''' I'm almost finished!

''{For a few seconds, Bubs grunts and socket wrench noises are heard.}''

'''BUBS:''' ''{offscreen}'' There!

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Alright, now hit us with some Preeow 2.0!

''{A new paper comes down slowly making shuffling noises. A key with "@" is drawn on the left, and an envelope with Strong Bad's face in it is drawn on the right. The text and graphics on the new paper are slightly striped with white, and the "@" key is striped with cyan, yellow and magenta on the bottom.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' What the? How am I ever supposed to pronounce that garglemesh? ''{imitating the printer's noises}'' Heunh heownh heunh heownh vvvvvt eangt clonk-a-donk. Doesn't quite roll off the tongue. Alright New Paper, you are officially on trial status. So ya better get to impressin'!

''{[[New Paper]] comes down a little more, printing out an [[ASCII art]] butt made with hyphens and dollar signs, with "(but, a butt)" printed next to it.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Hm. Well... that's a start.

==Easter Eggs==

*Click "Butt" at the end to see Homestar tangled in the Paper later on that day.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{Singing to the tune of Neverending Story}'' The blood is rushing to my head... Blacking out, blacking out, blacking out... ''{he blacks out}''
*Click "impressin'" at the end to see a revisit of [[One Two, One Two]].
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{Bouncing his football}'' Dribble dribble, shoot! Dribble dribble, shoot shoot! ''{Continues over Coach Z's lines}''
:'''COACH Z:''' ''{Leaning into frame}'' Ooh, dang! ''{Claps four times}'' Ooh, dang! ''{Claps four times}''
:''{Both continue over Strong Bad's lines}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Leaning into frame}'' Look! We're not doing this again. Look! We're not doing this again. ''{Record scratch, Homestar and Coach Z stop}'' WE'RE REALLY NOT DOING THIS AGAIN!
:''{Scoreboard changes from ? to G as the buzzer sounds.}''

==Fun Facts==

===Explanations===
*"[[Preeeeow]], world", is a reference to [[Wikipedia:"Hello, World!" program|"hello world" programs]].
*Strong Bad's comment about not having killed any end bosses is a reference to [[TVTropes:Main/LoadBearingBoss|load bearing bosses]], bosses in video games that, when defeated, result in the destruction of the surrounding environment.

===Trivia===
*This email was sent in by HRWiki member [[user:Thewi2kbug|thewi2kbug]].
*The [[Floppy Disk Container]] reads "[[Floppy Disk Container#Logo|Logo]]" and "[[Floppy Disk Container#the colonel's bequest|colonel's bequest]]" in the flashbacks. In the present, it reads "[[Floppy Disk Container#rise of the triad|rise of the triad]]".
* Strong Bad [[fourth wall breaks|breaks the fourth wall]] by mentioning that he remembered first meeting The Paper like it was "about to happen in a wavy flashback".
*During the flashback of The Paper's goth phase, the screen of the Compy 386 reads, in part (this is all that is available in the Flash file):
<blockquote class="short compy email">
a> See there Tompo, 
wasted youth. I 
six or eleven
</blockquote>
*During the flashback of The Paper's preppy phase, the screen of the Compy 386 reads:
<blockquote class="short compy email">
a> Kick the booty all day long, I 
say. But, ya know, maybe not.
</blockquote>
*During the flashback of Homestar being tangled up by The Paper, the screen of Lappy 486 reads:
<blockquote class="lappy email" style="background-image: none">
]Look, Darius, if you want me to eat a Philly cheesesteak 
instead of answering an email this week, you got it. No 
skin off my back. I'll eat a couple-a Tastykakes while I'm 
at it, too. Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta skee-dat.
</blockquote>
*The summary for the [[Podstar Runner]] RSS feed reads, "Strong Bad looks back at fond memories of The Paper as he bids farewell to his old pal."
*This email introduces [[Team Kneepads]].

===Remarks===
*Strong Bad's printer [[Hammerspace|seems to fall out of nowhere]]. While The Paper itself frequently appears from seemingly nowhere, this is the first time we have seen the printer do so.
*In [[more armies]], The Paper came down wrinkled and torn. However, when it comes out of the printer here, it is not torn or wrinkled.
*Even though The Paper's plug falls out of the outlet, it is still able to print messages to Strong Bad.
*When the email was originally released, the background crowd noise after The Paper blocked Homestar's shot was somewhat louder and overlapped Homestar's line as well as Homsar's bit. By the end of the first day of release, the background cheers were reduced at the block, and eliminated altogether as Homestar begins to speak.
*Ordinarily, The Paper prints upside-down, with the ''last'' line toward the free edge of the page. When shown together with the printer, however, it prints right-side-up.
*In the goth The Paper flashback, the contrast on the Compy can be changed. Normally, this can't be done on zoomed-out shots. The contrast setting remains the same in the next flashback, rather than resetting, like it usually does.
*While "Click Here to Email Strong Bad strongbad@homestarrunner.com" is usually plastered over in podcasts, the Podstar version of this email leaves the text of the Goth The Paper unaltered.
*At the end of [[guitar]], Strong Bad uses the same Lighter and only scorches The Paper.
*During the Homestar Easter egg, Homestar is slightly more to the left from where he was during the earlier flashback.

===Goofs===
*When the printer falls on top of Strong Bad, there is a section of paper sticking out of it. But when the printer is seen on the ground there's no paper until it starts printing.
*There are extra lengths of paper sticking out when The Paper says, "iT is Tiime. YOU kNOw WhHat to dO." On the next close-up to The Paper, these extra lengths are missing.
*In the Easter egg, some of Coach Z's claps are out of sync to his movements. The same is also true for Homestar's dribble and shooting movements, shortly before Strong Bad appears.
*While The Paper is falling, its reflection is not seen in the Lappy's screen.

===Fixed Goofs===
*During The Paper's "preppy" phase, the contrast control used to affect the area outside the Compy's screen.

===Inside References===
*The departure of The Paper was foretold in [[montage]] and implied in the previous email, [[more armies]].
*The music when Strong Bad is carried off the island is from [[Population: Tire]].
*Strong Bad says "jump" when he jumps in the same manner as in [[alternate universe]].
*After Strong Bad interrupts the rhythmic Easter egg, the scoreboard changes to [[G]].
**This, plus the "$" and "?", are [[Scoreboard#Irregular Scores|irregular scores]].
*Homestar is said to have the ball at the [[top of the key]].
*Lil' Strong Bad's duck shirt is a variation of the [[Duckie Shirt]].
*"And The Paper goeth into the niiIIiiIIiiIIght!" is a reference to the song in [[guitar]], which Strong Bad ended by screaming that the dragon comes [[in the night]]. The Paper was burned with the [[BMW Lighter]] in both instances, but in guitar only the edge was scorched.
**Strong Bad also mirrored this line in [[dragon]], in which he replaced the word "dragon" with "Trogdor".
*The pear and leaves wallpaper was first seen in the email [[no loafing]].
*The computer seen in the flashback is the same computer used in the [[Email Processing Room]].
*Homestar's "Kneepads Team" could be referring to "Homestar's Knees Tech", from [[mascot]], or possibly Coach Z's "spring shin tryouts" in [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 14.2]].
*As Strong Bad attempts to block Homestar's shot, he makes Homsar's walking noise, just as he did in [[retirement]].
*The phrase on the New Paper, "but, a butt" is similar to Strong Bad's line in [[TrogdorCon '97]], "...but, you're... a butt."
*Strong Bad calls The Paper his "[[-èd|stripèd]] friend".
*Homestar poured [[Mountain Dew]] on Strong Bad's other computers in [[anything]] and [[retirement]].
*Strong Bad's remark about "brothers and sisters" is a reference to [[animal]], where he asks The Paper to "come on down and meet your new brother", the brother being the Lappy.
**Strong Bad also pronounces "sisters" as he did in [[sisters]].
*Strong Bad's rhetorical question, "Why do all my 30-year-old electronics keep breaking on me?!?" refers to [[Strong Bad's Computer Malfunctioning|the many malfunctions]] he has had in the past.
*The song Homestar sings is a reference to the Easter egg in the email [[anything]], in which he sang a parody of the [http://users.pandora.be/soundtrack-fm/Reviews/Klaus_Doldinger/neverending_story/neverending_story.htm theme song] of the 1984 fantasy movie [[The NeverEnding Story]].
*The sport that Team Kneepads plays is similar to the sport played in [[In Search of the Yello Dello]] and [[A Jorb Well Done]].
*This is another toon with [[Homestar Runner left behind]] in an Easter egg; in this case, with The Paper being wrapped around Homestar.

===Real-World References===
*[[Mountain Dew]], [[Wikipedia:Mello Yello|Mello Yello]], [[Wikipedia:Sierra Mist|Sierra Mist]], [[Wikipedia:Fresca|Fresca]], and [[Wikipedia:Surge|Surge]] are all citrus-flavored sodas.
*[[Wikipedia:Tastykake|Tastykakes]] are snack cakes made by the Tasty Baking Company in Philadelphia since 1914. Available for the most part only in the Eastern section of the US, the cakes are often shipped to people now in other parts of the world who grew up with the treats while living in the East.
*The football Homestar dribbles in the gym is an old ball from the defunct [[Wikipedia:XFL|XFL]] football league, founded by [[Wikipedia:World Wrestling Entertainment|WWE]] owner [[Wikipedia:Vince McMahon|Vince McMahon]].
*[[Wikipedia:Manute Bol|Manute Bol]] was a Sudanese-born basketball player and activist. He was known for his height (7'7"/2.31 m), which allowed him to become a top shot blocker in the NBA.
*[[Wikipedia:Goth subculture|Goth]] is a subculture of many young people of North America, Europe, and Japan. It is commonly characterized by black or very dark colors, an interest in the macabre and gruesome, and a medieval aesthetic, hence the Paper displaying [[Wikipedia:Blackletter|Gothic script]], a script commonly used between the 12th and 16th centuries in Europe.
*[[Wikipedia:Pyongyang|Pyongyang]] is the capital city of [[Wikipedia:North Korea|North Korea]].
*The shirt Lil' Strong Sad is wearing is the same shirt [[Peanuts|Charlie Brown]] wears.
*The Paper's printer strongly resembles the Panasonic KX-Pxxxx series of dot-matrix printer, most notably the KX-P1080i.



===Fast-Forward===
*Despite its apparent death, The Paper makes a brief reappearance in [[email thunder]], as well as in all the episodes of [[Strong Bad's Cool Game For Attractive People]].

==DVD Version==
{{commentary|email=true}}
=== Commentary Transcript ===
('''Commentary by:''' [[Mike Chapman]], [[Strong Bad]])

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sadly}'' Oh, I can’t watch, Mike. I don't think I can watch.

'''MIKE:''' Strong Bad, come here.

'''STRONG BAD:''' No.

'''MIKE:''' Let me put my arm around you.

'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm too loud. I can't get that close to the mic.

'''MIKE:''' I can— I can pull you through this, okay?

'''STRONG BAD:''' Okay. ''{almost crying}'' Oh, The Paper... ''{whimpers}''

'''MIKE:''' But he came back. But he came back, in Email 200.

'''STRONG BAD:''' No, no, that was a sham.

'''MIKE:''' And then you killed him.

'''STRONG BAD:''' That was a sham marriage.

'''MIKE:''' And then you killed him.

'''STRONG BAD:''' It was a sham marriage.

'''MIKE:''' Um...

'''STRONG BAD:''' Ow! Oh, look at that.

'''MIKE:''' So there's—

'''STRONG BAD:''' An old Epson 20 Deuce. I think is what that model was called. Except it was called an Epsom.

'''MIKE:''' Epsom salt?

'''STRONG BAD:''' Like the salt, yeah. It was a knock-off.

'''MIKE:''' So that printer, was it recessed, like your lighting? Like your recessed lighting?

'''STRONG BAD:''' Ask Bubs. Bubs comes over to deal with my printers. Oh, that old wallpaper. Oh, and that devil ducky shirt, do you remember that?

'''MIKE:''' Nope.

'''STRONG BAD:''' One time, I— I put that and Homestar’s duck shirt, uh, in a dryer, together—

'''MIKE:''' Uh-huh. Who won?

'''STRONG BAD:''' —and made 'em duke it out.

'''MIKE:''' How'd you know who won?

'''STRONG BAD:''' Uh, it came out and it was a shirt with a flag of an eagle on it. Like, they, like mated in there, and had a baby, and it was a flag— an eagle flag.

'''MIKE:''' Uh, I think I might have myself some Team Kneepads shirt printed up, Strong Bad. How do you feel that—

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, I wanna be number .4.

'''MIKE:''' Spud Webb used to—

'''STRONG BAD:''' Ooh!

'''MIKE:''' Spud Webb used to— Ooh, I like that Goth Paper.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah. Oh man, that Paper was so elitist, it would never let me—

'''MIKE:''' Was it always at the country club?

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, it would never let me into the country club.

'''MIKE:''' It had a yacht.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, and we had to race it in the Regatta one time. It was always getting the good girls, even when I'd turn into a werewolf on the basketball team; it still didn't like me.

'''MIKE:''' Um, what was I talking about, though?

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{imitates the water spewing from the island}''

'''MIKE:''' Oh, .4, you said you wanted to be team .4, or number .4.

'''STRONG BAD:''' I do.

'''MIKE:''' Spud Webb tried to be .4.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Really?

'''MIKE:''' Yeah.

'''STRONG BAD:''' They didn’t let him?

'''MIKE:''' They didn't let him, he was just number 4.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Aww. That's a good game ending, right there. Maybe, like, the ending of Jackal.

'''MIKE:''' Jackal or Contra, didn't Contra—

'''STRONG BAD:''' I think there's a nice sunset, with a helicopter.

'''MIKE:''' Un-huh.

''{pause until The Paper burns}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{whimpers, on the verge of tears}'' Ohhhhh... That was recessed lighting, we got, Bubs rigged up a spotlight on our recessed lighting for that one. ''{pause}'' Like, I don't even know where he was. He may have been in another dimension. I think maybe The Paper comes down from another dimension, Mike.

'''MIKE:''' I believe it may, it seems it does, 'cause we see a pretty wide view of your computer frequently, and there's no printer.

'''STRONG BAD:''' I always feel like this Paper is based on this old Canon Inkjet.

'''MIKE:''' That, what, the New Paper?

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, but is wasn't called "inkjet" it was called, like, "photosash".

'''MIKE:''' Bubble, uh—

'''STRONG BAD:''' Bubblejet!

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, they had "bubblejet"

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, I think it might be "bubblejet".

'''MIKE:''' Think there were really bubbles in there? That would have been a problem!

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{simultaneously}'' Yeah, it was the cutest printer. Ooh, a butt! A little saucy.

{{dvdproofread}}

=== Fun Facts ===
*[[Wikipedia:Epsom Salt|Epsom salt]], or magnesium sulfate, is a chemical compound with a variety of uses.
*[[Wikipedia:Spud Webb|Spud Webb]] is a retired professional basketball point guard.
*A [[Wikipedia:Regatta|regatta]] is a term used to describe either a boat race, or series of boat races.
*''[[Wikipedia:Jackal (video game)|Jackal]]'' and ''[[Wikipedia:Contra (arcade game)|Contra]]'' are both video games created by Konami.
**In ''Jackal'', players assume the roles of soldiers in jeeps to save POWs.
**In ''Contra'', players control a commando who battles waves of enemies to save the Earth from an alien race known as Red Falcon.

==External Links==
{{sbemailextlinks|173|11656}}
{{Strong Bad Email}}

[[Category:Podstar Runner]][[Category:strongbad email.exe Disc Six]]

Teen Girl Squad Deaths

2019-07-19T10:42:36Z

President Cold One: /* Injuries and Deaths in other Teen Girl Squad appearances */

[[Image:tgs1.PNG|200px|thumb|"Everybody died 'cept me!"]]
The comic "[[Teen Girl Squad]]", written by [[Strong Bad]], often has its characters '''[[Death|die]] (or get [[Characters' Injuries|injured]]) in each episode''', due to being subjected to Strong Bad's overimaginative (and hilarious) cruelty.
{{clear}}
==Injuries and Deaths in Main Teen Girl Squad Episodes==
{| border="1" cellpadding="2"
!width="25"|Issue
!width="125"|[[Cheerleader]]
!width="125"|[[So and So]]
!width="125"|[[What's Her Face]]
!width="125"|[[The Ugly One]]
!width="300"|Other
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 1|1]]||N/A||"Voip" by [[Visor Robot]]||"Punt!" by dinosaur||"Arrowed!" by [[Arrow'd Guy]]||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 2|2]]||N/A||N/A||"Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat!" by Thomas (survived)||N/A||[[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#No "I" in Team Boy|No "I" in Team Boy]] squashed by "Children!" truck
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 3|3]]||N/A||N/A||"possums..." (survived)||"MSG[['d]]!"(survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 4|4]]||"Cerebellum[['d]]!"||Fell down a bottomless pit||Squashed by "NO pounds" (survived)||Squashed by "YOU'RE NOT" potatoes (survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 5|5]]||"Sailing mishap!"||Punted by Cheerleader (survived)||N/A||"Perch!" (survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 6|6]]||"Double Double Whipless Mochaccino Half Caf!!" Decemberween Gift Exchange Lion (survived)||"Triple Salchow!" Decemberween Gift Exchange Lion (survived)||Wave of Babies (survived)||"Cannonball!!" Decemberween Gift Exchange Lion (survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 7|7]]||"Squished."||[[Mrs. Commanderson]]||[[Mrs. Commanderson]]||[[Mrs. Commanderson]]||[[Tompkins]] "died...somehow" (torso takes silver)
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 8|8]]||Eaten by shark||"Twelve sided died!!" (by a twenty-sided die)||Eaten by shark||"Floor tommed!!!! Step-mommed!!! [[Pom Pom|Pom-Pommed??]]"||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 9|9]]||"Driver's Ed'ed Dead" ([[getting run over|run over]] by [[Learner's Permit Girl]])||Put on a play with port-a-john, didn't get very good reviews (impaled by a spear by Arrowed Guy)||Ate a bowl of Staple Sauce||BFF-Baow! Fom! Froosh! (Punched by a tree, which then fell on top of her and spontaneously combusted)||[[Mr. Pitters]] eaten by vultures
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10|10]]||"Caber tossed!!"||p0wned! by Tompkins's video game||"Lathe'd!" by A Mighty Warrior|| "ARROWED II!" (saved by Strong Bad)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10|10 (Easter egg)]]||Body parts rearranged||Crushed by giant golf ball||Lampshade covers head||Eaten by carnivorous plant||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 11|11]]||"Blinding Voip!" by Sci-Fi Greg's shirtless torso||Incarcerated after shoplifting (survived)||"MANIAC IN A SPEEDO'D"||"MANIAC IN A SPEEDO'D"||Camp counselor Shortshorts got "MANIAC IN A SPEEDO'D"
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 12|12]]||Killed by flying [[USB dongle goblin]]||Run over by TINES racing car||N/A||"Bad Juju!!"||Class Prez killed by flying USB dongle goblin
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 13|13]]||"Eau de Toilette!"||Garbage disposal (Oh, what a way to go)||The Snack mix, in Tompkins' parlor, with the PRETZEL STICK!||"Dangled off a hotel balcony'd!!" "Then dropped from said balcony'd!" into a bayonet tailgate party||Tompkins: "BABYSAT!"
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 14|14]]||"<strike>Towel Boy'd!!</strike> Team Manager'd!!"||So & So (as [[Scantron]])'s Dixon Ticonderoga Laser Blade Attack vs. MimeogWrath's Hyper Turbo Fill in the Blank Barrage||Revenge of the Cross Country Booster Club Bakesale!!||N/A||Seniors: "Come uppence!" with garbage cans dumped on them (survived)
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 15|15]]||"Pretty Prism!!"||"Betrayal!!" by UbuntuFan91 (Open-Source Greg's Avatar)||"Sparrow'd." (A new twist on an old classic!)||N/A||[[D n' D Greg]]: Gutted like sheep by Manolios Ugly One [[Japanese Culture Greg]]: "Uncanny Valley'd!!!" Tompkins: "[[Tenerence Love|Tenerrow'd!!]]"
|-
|[[Homestar Ruiner Teen Girl Squad|HR]]||Turned into stone by Medusa||"Cliff Noted!" (eaten by Moby Dick)||"A Splode!" (had her car blown up by gangsters)||"GuesswhatVOIPed!" by a robotic penguin||Any of the girls can also be killed by: "Triple Doubled!" (getting dunked through a basketball hoop) Mustard gas caused by perfume stank plus athletic stonk "Alternative Energy Source'd!" (getting fried by sunlight reflected off a mirror while wearing suntan lotion) "Fundamentals!" (getting her hairspray ignited by a flaming basketball) "RATS LIKE METAL! ...Apparently" (trampled by rats after receiving a TXT MSG with the Brainkrieg Ringtone) Getting stomped after METAMORPHOSING into a roach monster. Robotic Penguin: Dies after choking on The Ugly One's chocolate bar
|-
|[[Strong Badia The Free Cave Girl Squad|SBtF]]|||No Unique Deaths||"THE OPPOSITE OF RE-ENTRY'D!" (burned up in the atmosphere after flying a car into space)||No Unique Deaths||No Unique Deaths||Any of the girls can also be killed by: "Di-GESTED WHOLE!" (eaten by an anaconda) "BRAIN OUT OF NOSE WITH A HOOK!" (having brained removed while wrapped up like a mummy) "GORE'D!!!" (during a mammoth stampede) "SPEARROWED! (killed by a hunter after being mistaken for a sickly mammoth "CROSS-FYAH!" (caught in crossfire between storekeeper and shopper with machine gun) "SABER-TOOTH'D! TIGER... in case that wasn't obvious" (eaten by a saber-tooth tiger) "CURSE OF THE GODS! THE NEW ALBUM FROM A-NOOB-IS!" (killed by scarab beetles sent by Anubis as punishment for insolence) "Dead... Dead... Dead... Dead-dead!" (crushed by a monolith) "WONDERFULLY PRESERVED FOR FUTURE RESEARCH!" (sank into a tarpit) "METEOR'D!" (all mammals go extinct after a meteor causes global climate change, to which a Teen Girl reacts) Lizard Teen Girl Squad: "SURVIVAL OF THE PHATTEST!" (killed by Charles Darwin's music)
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Meets Limozeen|BotB]]||"Two Hand and One Foot Tapping Solo!" (Gary playing a guitar solo)||"Roadie Miscommunication Breakdown!" (run over by Limozeen tour bus)||"P-P-Punt!" by Perry, then "Arena Rocked!" (Cut in half by a helicopter propeller)||"English Lit!" (Larry breathing fire)||N/A
|}

== Injuries and Deaths in other Teen Girl Squad appearances ==
* [[404'd]] and [[Neon 404'd]]: The Ugly One is "404'd!" (has arrows shot through her) by Arrow'd Guy.
* [[virus]]: The [[King of Town]] is repeatedly slapped by The Ugly One when [[The Virus]] sends him there.
* [[love poems]]: [[Meredith]] and [[Kimberly]] get "Shakespeared!" (have a spear thrown through them) by Arrow'd Guy
* [[Decomposing Pumpkin]]: [[Brainkreig]]'s drummer is hit by a rotten pumpkin.
* [[The House That Gave Sucky Tricks]]: The Ugly One gets "disemjowel'd" by a lunatic with a machété.

==Analysis==
{| border="1" cellpadding="2"
!width="125"|Character
!width="125"|Survived, Uninjured
!width="125"|Survived, Injured
!width="125"|Survived (Total)
!width="125"|Survived Alone
|-
|Cheerleader||3 (TGS 1, 2, 3)||1 (TGS 6)||4 (TGS 1, 2, 3, 6)||1 (TGS 1)
|-
|So and So||2 (TGS 2, 3)||3 (TGS 5, 6, 11)||5 (TGS 2, 3, 5, 6, 11)||1 (TGS 11)
|-
|What's Her Face||2 (TGS 5, 12)||4 (TGS 2, 3, 4, 6)||6 (TGS 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 12)||1 (TGS 12)
|-
|The Ugly One||4 (TGS 2, 10, 14, 15)||3 (TGS 3, 4, 6)||7 (2, 3, 4, 6, 10, 14, 15)||3 (TGS 10, 14, 15)
|}

{{Teen Girl Squad}}
[[Category:Teen Girl Squad]]
[[Category:Violence]]

Marzipan's Outgoing Messages

2019-07-19T09:23:35Z

President Cold One: /* Greetings Used In Other Toons */

[[Image:MarzipanAnsweringMachineV5.png|thumb|"Leave me a message, and I'll get right back to you. Hey!"]]
[[Marzipan]] [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 16.2|once said]] that the '''outgoing messages''' she leaves in [[Marzipan's Answering Machine]] are like her "adopted foreign babies". Here is a list of them, including some that appeared in toons of other genres.
{{clear}}

== The Greetings ==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! width=300 | Version !! width=600 | Greetings
|-
| [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 1.0]] || Hi, this is Marzipan. I'm out looking at the fall colors. Please leave me a message, and I'll call you right back.
|-
| [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 2.0]] || Hi, this is Marzipan. Leave me a message. I am screening my calls today, but I'll pick up if I feel like it. See you later.
|-
| [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 3.0]] || Hi, this is Marzipan. I'm feeling very vivacious today. Please leave me a message.
|-
| [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 4.0]] || Hi, this is Marzipan. I'm out doing some very important things, so please leave me a message, and if this is [[Strong Bad]] calling to prank call me, can you please do the one where I win the radio contest? 'Cause that one's my favorite. Okay. Bye.
|-
| [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 5.0]] || Hi, this is Marzipan. ''{singing}'' Leave me a message, and I'll get right back to you. Hey! Leave me a message, and I'll get right back to you. Hey! Leave me a messa—
|-
| [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 6.0]] || Hi, this is Marzipan. I'm sittin' in my dark room... thinkin'. Please leave me a message.
|-
| [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 7.0]] || Ooo! Oooo! Happy [[Halloween]], don't be too scared... 'cause it's Halloween. Please leave a message. This is Marzipan.
|-
| [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 8.0]] || [[French|Bonjour]], [[Spanish|amigos]]. Je m'appelle Marzipanio. Please leave me a messiaggio and I will call you back-io. Toodle-oo toots, everyone.
|-
| rowspan="2"| [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 9.2]] || Hi, this is M-A-R-Z-I-P-A-N. Please leave me a message after the B-E-E-P.
|-
| '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, hey, this is Marzipan... and, uhm... leave a message after my beeps. Beep.
|-
| [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 10.2]] || Hi guys! Leave me a message, and I'll leave you with an abstract thought. Is a penguin a bird or a duck?
|-
| [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 11.2]] || Hi, this is Marzipan. I'm out expanding my horizons. Leave me a message.
|-
| [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 12.2]] || Yeah, yeah. Leave a message.
|-
| [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 13.2]] || Hi, this is Marzipan. I'm probably outside eating some dirt or something. So just leave me a message.
|-
| [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 14.2]] || Aloha, this is Marzipan. I'm lounging on the lanai, enjoying a wheatgrass-tini, in my wheatgrass-kini. Please leave a mauka-makai-message.
|-
| [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 15.2]] || Hi, this is Marzipan. I'm currently drowning in the abyss, but please leave me a message anyway.
|-
| rowspan="4"| [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 16.2]] || Hi this is Marzipan. I'm off volunteering in the Coches Mountains, teaching the heathens how to bend pipe cleaners. I'll be back in—
|-
| '''STRONG SAD:''' Greetings weary telephone traveler. I sense you have come in search of Marzipan, but you have stumbled upon so much more. 'Tis I, Strong Sad, house-sitter extraordinaire. Please organize your thoughts for Marzipan in order of least depressing to most depressing. As for crank calls, allow me to give you a theme: furtive glances.
|-
| '''STRONG SAD:''' Marzipan be gone! Strong Sad be here, so drop your purpose in mine ear! I'll pass it on before too long...
|-
| '''STRONG SAD:''' Hello, this is Strong Sad, temporary steward of Marzipan's domicile. Please leave your jumbled message at the tone, so I can articulately reword it in journal form for Marzipan to read upon her safe return.
|-
| [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 17.2]] || Hi, this is Marzipan. I'll be out and about for about seven years, so I'll give you a call back after that. Thank you!
|}

===Greetings Used In Other Toons===
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! width=300 | Toon !! width=600 | Greetings
|-
| [[Where's The Cheat?]] || Hi, this is Marzipan. Please leave me a message.
|-
| [[personal favorites]] || Hi! This is Marzipan.
|-
| [[Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon]] || Hi, this is Marzipan.
|-
| [[garage sale]] || It's a great day at Marzipan's! Please leave me a message.
|-
| [[Jibblies 2]] || Boo! This is Marzipan. Leave me a spooky message.
|-
| [[Homestar Ruiner]] (After destroying Marzipan's decorations)|| This is Marzipan. I can't come to the phone right now, because [[Homestar Runner|my boyfriend]] (more like my [[Homestar Runner and Marzipan's Relationship|ex-boyfriend]]) is a louse. Please leave a message after the beep. Unless you're Homestar, in which case you should jump in a polluted lake.
|-
| Homestar Ruiner (After delivering chocolate to Marzipan)|| Oh hi, this is Marzipan. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm preparing a big party for my big boyfriend. Please leave a big message after the tiny beep.
|}
[[Category:Marzipan's Answering Machine]]

Don't Make Daddy P.O.'d

2019-07-19T06:56:31Z

President Cold One:

[[File:DontMakeDaddyPOd.png|thumb|"Watch out! When Daddy's P.O.'d, the family fun ''never'' stops!"]]
'''Don't Make [[Parents|Daddy]] [[Swears|P.O.'d]]''' is a [[board game]] by [[Boardelectrix]]. It was first seen in the [[Trogdor!! The Board Game (video)|promotional video]] for [[Trogdor!! The Board Game]]. The board resembles a backyard. There is a patio in the bottom-left corner with a barbecue on it, grilling sausages. A wiggly path, separated by spaces, weaves through the backyard. The path goes under a white-and-orange-striped hammock, and ends at a lawnmower. In the video, paper pieces of [[the Sad Kids]] are seen on the path. In the middle, a plastic 3D Daddy spins around. Only his top half is visible. He is orange and [[Normal-Human Characters|humanoid]], with eyes, ears, a nose, and an underbite with one tooth. He is wearing a white undershirt with chest hairs underneath, and hairs can faintly be seen on his chin. His arms are reaching into the air. Flat plastic shapes of different colors are spread around the board, and there is a box with a notepad and pencils. There are two green dice with numbers, a blue die with actions, and a four-sided triangular blue die. There are also small cubes; both white opaque ones and yellow translucent ones. There is also a small sand timer.

In [[Six-Sadded, Die. - Don't Make Daddy P.O.'d|an episode of Six-Sadded, Die]], [[Strong Sad]] and [[Lucky Yates]] try to figure out the rules. In their version, it is a two-player game, with each player controlling a different Sad Kid. The goal is to start at the patio, go to the lawnmower to do chores, and then back to the patio. Each turn, the player rolls the two numbered dice and moves the combined number of spaces. If the player lands on a Daddy possession, such as the hammock, they have to roll the blue action dice to determine Daddy's decision. If "move" is rolled, the Daddy moves to the possession. If Daddy moves too close to the player, they get in trouble, and must put a frame in front of him as if he's in a portrait. If the player moves too close to Daddy, they must write a letter of appreciation to him. If the player rolls doubles, they get stonewalled from the barbecue (using a red shape). At some point, they may switch the red wall with a green one to become a lawn, and move it over to the lawnmower, making them no longer stonewalled from the barbecue. If you are not stonewalled from the barbecue, you may go back and get some s'mores. If both players are on the hammock, the next player may bounce on the hammock to send the other player back to the start.

The cubes go on the barbecue. The white ones are marshmallows or s'mores, and the yellow ones are hot coals. The player may put them in Daddy's mouth. It is also an elemental game, with different colored shapes representing different elements (such as grass, water, brick, steel, and wind). The flat shapes may also be sandwich ingredients (such as tomato, lettuce, and [[wikipedia:Hellmann's and Best Foods|Hellmann's]] mayonnaise), and may be stacked up to make a sandwich, but its relevance to the game is unknown. The player can draw Daddy under a time limit (determined by the sand timer), but it is unknown when this occurs, or what effect it has. Under some circumstances, tapping Daddy's head makes him P.O.'d, causing him to move and spin around. The purpose of the four-sided die is unknown.

==Real World Referrences==
This board game is based off the [[Wikipedia:Parker Brothers|Parker Brothers]] board game [[Wikipedia:Don't Wake Daddy|Don't Wake Daddy]].

==Appearances==
*'''Debut:''' [[Trogdor!! The Board Game (video)|Trogdor!! The Board Game]] Video
*[[Six-Sadded, Die. - Don't Make Daddy P.O.'d]]
[[Category:Board Games]]

Teen Girl Squad Deaths

2019-07-19T06:51:48Z

President Cold One: /* Injuries and Deaths in other Teen Girl Squad appearances */

[[Image:tgs1.PNG|200px|thumb|"Everybody died 'cept me!"]]
The comic "[[Teen Girl Squad]]", written by [[Strong Bad]], often has its characters '''[[Death|die]] (or get [[Characters' Injuries|injured]]) in each episode''', due to being subjected to Strong Bad's overimaginative (and hilarious) cruelty.
{{clear}}
==Injuries and Deaths in Main Teen Girl Squad Episodes==
{| border="1" cellpadding="2"
!width="25"|Issue
!width="125"|[[Cheerleader]]
!width="125"|[[So and So]]
!width="125"|[[What's Her Face]]
!width="125"|[[The Ugly One]]
!width="300"|Other
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 1|1]]||N/A||"Voip" by [[Visor Robot]]||"Punt!" by dinosaur||"Arrowed!" by [[Arrow'd Guy]]||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 2|2]]||N/A||N/A||"Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat!" by Thomas (survived)||N/A||[[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#No "I" in Team Boy|No "I" in Team Boy]] squashed by "Children!" truck
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 3|3]]||N/A||N/A||"possums..." (survived)||"MSG[['d]]!"(survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 4|4]]||"Cerebellum[['d]]!"||Fell down a bottomless pit||Squashed by "NO pounds" (survived)||Squashed by "YOU'RE NOT" potatoes (survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 5|5]]||"Sailing mishap!"||Punted by Cheerleader (survived)||N/A||"Perch!" (survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 6|6]]||"Double Double Whipless Mochaccino Half Caf!!" Decemberween Gift Exchange Lion (survived)||"Triple Salchow!" Decemberween Gift Exchange Lion (survived)||Wave of Babies (survived)||"Cannonball!!" Decemberween Gift Exchange Lion (survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 7|7]]||"Squished."||[[Mrs. Commanderson]]||[[Mrs. Commanderson]]||[[Mrs. Commanderson]]||[[Tompkins]] "died...somehow" (torso takes silver)
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 8|8]]||Eaten by shark||"Twelve sided died!!" (by a twenty-sided die)||Eaten by shark||"Floor tommed!!!! Step-mommed!!! [[Pom Pom|Pom-Pommed??]]"||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 9|9]]||"Driver's Ed'ed Dead" ([[getting run over|run over]] by [[Learner's Permit Girl]])||Put on a play with port-a-john, didn't get very good reviews (impaled by a spear by Arrowed Guy)||Ate a bowl of Staple Sauce||BFF-Baow! Fom! Froosh! (Punched by a tree, which then fell on top of her and spontaneously combusted)||[[Mr. Pitters]] eaten by vultures
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10|10]]||"Caber tossed!!"||p0wned! by Tompkins's video game||"Lathe'd!" by A Mighty Warrior|| "ARROWED II!" (saved by Strong Bad)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10|10 (Easter egg)]]||Body parts rearranged||Crushed by giant golf ball||Lampshade covers head||Eaten by carnivorous plant||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 11|11]]||"Blinding Voip!" by Sci-Fi Greg's shirtless torso||Incarcerated after shoplifting (survived)||"MANIAC IN A SPEEDO'D"||"MANIAC IN A SPEEDO'D"||Camp counselor Shortshorts got "MANIAC IN A SPEEDO'D"
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 12|12]]||Killed by flying [[USB dongle goblin]]||Run over by TINES racing car||N/A||"Bad Juju!!"||Class Prez killed by flying USB dongle goblin
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 13|13]]||"Eau de Toilette!"||Garbage disposal (Oh, what a way to go)||The Snack mix, in Tompkins' parlor, with the PRETZEL STICK!||"Dangled off a hotel balcony'd!!" "Then dropped from said balcony'd!" into a bayonet tailgate party||Tompkins: "BABYSAT!"
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 14|14]]||"<strike>Towel Boy'd!!</strike> Team Manager'd!!"||So & So (as [[Scantron]])'s Dixon Ticonderoga Laser Blade Attack vs. MimeogWrath's Hyper Turbo Fill in the Blank Barrage||Revenge of the Cross Country Booster Club Bakesale!!||N/A||Seniors: "Come uppence!" with garbage cans dumped on them (survived)
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 15|15]]||"Pretty Prism!!"||"Betrayal!!" by UbuntuFan91 (Open-Source Greg's Avatar)||"Sparrow'd." (A new twist on an old classic!)||N/A||[[D n' D Greg]]: Gutted like sheep by Manolios Ugly One [[Japanese Culture Greg]]: "Uncanny Valley'd!!!" Tompkins: "[[Tenerence Love|Tenerrow'd!!]]"
|-
|[[Homestar Ruiner Teen Girl Squad|HR]]||Turned into stone by Medusa||"Cliff Noted!" (eaten by Moby Dick)||"A Splode!" (had her car blown up by gangsters)||"GuesswhatVOIPed!" by a robotic penguin||Any of the girls can also be killed by: "Triple Doubled!" (getting dunked through a basketball hoop) Mustard gas caused by perfume stank plus athletic stonk "Alternative Energy Source'd!" (getting fried by sunlight reflected off a mirror while wearing suntan lotion) "Fundamentals!" (getting her hairspray ignited by a flaming basketball) "RATS LIKE METAL! ...Apparently" (trampled by rats after receiving a TXT MSG with the Brainkrieg Ringtone) Getting stomped after METAMORPHOSING into a roach monster. Robotic Penguin: Dies after choking on The Ugly One's chocolate bar
|-
|[[Strong Badia The Free Cave Girl Squad|SBtF]]|||No Unique Deaths||"THE OPPOSITE OF RE-ENTRY'D!" (burned up in the atmosphere after flying a car into space)||No Unique Deaths||No Unique Deaths||Any of the girls can also be killed by: "Di-GESTED WHOLE!" (eaten by an anaconda) "BRAIN OUT OF NOSE WITH A HOOK!" (having brained removed while wrapped up like a mummy) "GORE'D!!!" (during a mammoth stampede) "SPEARROWED! (killed by a hunter after being mistaken for a sickly mammoth "CROSS-FYAH!" (caught in crossfire between storekeeper and shopper with machine gun) "SABER-TOOTH'D! TIGER... in case that wasn't obvious" (eaten by a saber-tooth tiger) "CURSE OF THE GODS! THE NEW ALBUM FROM A-NOOB-IS!" (killed by scarab beetles sent by Anubis as punishment for insolence) "Dead... Dead... Dead... Dead-dead!" (crushed by a monolith) "WONDERFULLY PRESERVED FOR FUTURE RESEARCH!" (sank into a tarpit) "METEOR'D!" (all mammals go extinct after a meteor causes global climate change, to which a Teen Girl reacts) Lizard Teen Girl Squad: "SURVIVAL OF THE PHATTEST!" (killed by Charles Darwin's music)
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Meets Limozeen|BotB]]||"Two Hand and One Foot Tapping Solo!" (Gary playing a guitar solo)||"Roadie Miscommunication Breakdown!" (run over by Limozeen tour bus)||"P-P-Punt!" by Perry, then "Arena Rocked!" (Cut in half by a helicopter propeller)||"English Lit!" (Larry breathing fire)||N/A
|}

== Injuries and Deaths in other Teen Girl Squad appearances ==
* [[404'd]] and [[Neon 404'd]]: The Ugly One is "404'd!" (has arrows shot through her) by Arrow'd Guy.
* [[virus]]: The [[King of Town]] is repeatedly slapped by The Ugly One when [[The Virus]] sends him there.
* [[love poems]]: [[Meredith]] and [[Kimberly]] get "Shakespeared!" (have a spear thrown through them) by Arrow'd Guy
* [[Decomposing Pumpkin]]: [[Brainkreig]]'s drummer is hit by a rotten pumpkin.

==Analysis==
{| border="1" cellpadding="2"
!width="125"|Character
!width="125"|Survived, Uninjured
!width="125"|Survived, Injured
!width="125"|Survived (Total)
!width="125"|Survived Alone
|-
|Cheerleader||3 (TGS 1, 2, 3)||1 (TGS 6)||4 (TGS 1, 2, 3, 6)||1 (TGS 1)
|-
|So and So||2 (TGS 2, 3)||3 (TGS 5, 6, 11)||5 (TGS 2, 3, 5, 6, 11)||1 (TGS 11)
|-
|What's Her Face||2 (TGS 5, 12)||4 (TGS 2, 3, 4, 6)||6 (TGS 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 12)||1 (TGS 12)
|-
|The Ugly One||4 (TGS 2, 10, 14, 15)||3 (TGS 3, 4, 6)||7 (2, 3, 4, 6, 10, 14, 15)||3 (TGS 10, 14, 15)
|}

{{Teen Girl Squad}}
[[Category:Teen Girl Squad]]
[[Category:Violence]]

Teen Girl Squad Deaths

2019-07-19T06:49:05Z

President Cold One: /* Injuries and Deaths in other Teen Girl Squad appearances */

[[Image:tgs1.PNG|200px|thumb|"Everybody died 'cept me!"]]
The comic "[[Teen Girl Squad]]", written by [[Strong Bad]], often has its characters '''[[Death|die]] (or get [[Characters' Injuries|injured]]) in each episode''', due to being subjected to Strong Bad's overimaginative (and hilarious) cruelty.
{{clear}}
==Injuries and Deaths in Main Teen Girl Squad Episodes==
{| border="1" cellpadding="2"
!width="25"|Issue
!width="125"|[[Cheerleader]]
!width="125"|[[So and So]]
!width="125"|[[What's Her Face]]
!width="125"|[[The Ugly One]]
!width="300"|Other
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 1|1]]||N/A||"Voip" by [[Visor Robot]]||"Punt!" by dinosaur||"Arrowed!" by [[Arrow'd Guy]]||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 2|2]]||N/A||N/A||"Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat!" by Thomas (survived)||N/A||[[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#No "I" in Team Boy|No "I" in Team Boy]] squashed by "Children!" truck
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 3|3]]||N/A||N/A||"possums..." (survived)||"MSG[['d]]!"(survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 4|4]]||"Cerebellum[['d]]!"||Fell down a bottomless pit||Squashed by "NO pounds" (survived)||Squashed by "YOU'RE NOT" potatoes (survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 5|5]]||"Sailing mishap!"||Punted by Cheerleader (survived)||N/A||"Perch!" (survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 6|6]]||"Double Double Whipless Mochaccino Half Caf!!" Decemberween Gift Exchange Lion (survived)||"Triple Salchow!" Decemberween Gift Exchange Lion (survived)||Wave of Babies (survived)||"Cannonball!!" Decemberween Gift Exchange Lion (survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 7|7]]||"Squished."||[[Mrs. Commanderson]]||[[Mrs. Commanderson]]||[[Mrs. Commanderson]]||[[Tompkins]] "died...somehow" (torso takes silver)
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 8|8]]||Eaten by shark||"Twelve sided died!!" (by a twenty-sided die)||Eaten by shark||"Floor tommed!!!! Step-mommed!!! [[Pom Pom|Pom-Pommed??]]"||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 9|9]]||"Driver's Ed'ed Dead" ([[getting run over|run over]] by [[Learner's Permit Girl]])||Put on a play with port-a-john, didn't get very good reviews (impaled by a spear by Arrowed Guy)||Ate a bowl of Staple Sauce||BFF-Baow! Fom! Froosh! (Punched by a tree, which then fell on top of her and spontaneously combusted)||[[Mr. Pitters]] eaten by vultures
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10|10]]||"Caber tossed!!"||p0wned! by Tompkins's video game||"Lathe'd!" by A Mighty Warrior|| "ARROWED II!" (saved by Strong Bad)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10|10 (Easter egg)]]||Body parts rearranged||Crushed by giant golf ball||Lampshade covers head||Eaten by carnivorous plant||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 11|11]]||"Blinding Voip!" by Sci-Fi Greg's shirtless torso||Incarcerated after shoplifting (survived)||"MANIAC IN A SPEEDO'D"||"MANIAC IN A SPEEDO'D"||Camp counselor Shortshorts got "MANIAC IN A SPEEDO'D"
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 12|12]]||Killed by flying [[USB dongle goblin]]||Run over by TINES racing car||N/A||"Bad Juju!!"||Class Prez killed by flying USB dongle goblin
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 13|13]]||"Eau de Toilette!"||Garbage disposal (Oh, what a way to go)||The Snack mix, in Tompkins' parlor, with the PRETZEL STICK!||"Dangled off a hotel balcony'd!!" "Then dropped from said balcony'd!" into a bayonet tailgate party||Tompkins: "BABYSAT!"
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 14|14]]||"<strike>Towel Boy'd!!</strike> Team Manager'd!!"||So & So (as [[Scantron]])'s Dixon Ticonderoga Laser Blade Attack vs. MimeogWrath's Hyper Turbo Fill in the Blank Barrage||Revenge of the Cross Country Booster Club Bakesale!!||N/A||Seniors: "Come uppence!" with garbage cans dumped on them (survived)
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 15|15]]||"Pretty Prism!!"||"Betrayal!!" by UbuntuFan91 (Open-Source Greg's Avatar)||"Sparrow'd." (A new twist on an old classic!)||N/A||[[D n' D Greg]]: Gutted like sheep by Manolios Ugly One [[Japanese Culture Greg]]: "Uncanny Valley'd!!!" Tompkins: "[[Tenerence Love|Tenerrow'd!!]]"
|-
|[[Homestar Ruiner Teen Girl Squad|HR]]||Turned into stone by Medusa||"Cliff Noted!" (eaten by Moby Dick)||"A Splode!" (had her car blown up by gangsters)||"GuesswhatVOIPed!" by a robotic penguin||Any of the girls can also be killed by: "Triple Doubled!" (getting dunked through a basketball hoop) Mustard gas caused by perfume stank plus athletic stonk "Alternative Energy Source'd!" (getting fried by sunlight reflected off a mirror while wearing suntan lotion) "Fundamentals!" (getting her hairspray ignited by a flaming basketball) "RATS LIKE METAL! ...Apparently" (trampled by rats after receiving a TXT MSG with the Brainkrieg Ringtone) Getting stomped after METAMORPHOSING into a roach monster. Robotic Penguin: Dies after choking on The Ugly One's chocolate bar
|-
|[[Strong Badia The Free Cave Girl Squad|SBtF]]|||No Unique Deaths||"THE OPPOSITE OF RE-ENTRY'D!" (burned up in the atmosphere after flying a car into space)||No Unique Deaths||No Unique Deaths||Any of the girls can also be killed by: "Di-GESTED WHOLE!" (eaten by an anaconda) "BRAIN OUT OF NOSE WITH A HOOK!" (having brained removed while wrapped up like a mummy) "GORE'D!!!" (during a mammoth stampede) "SPEARROWED! (killed by a hunter after being mistaken for a sickly mammoth "CROSS-FYAH!" (caught in crossfire between storekeeper and shopper with machine gun) "SABER-TOOTH'D! TIGER... in case that wasn't obvious" (eaten by a saber-tooth tiger) "CURSE OF THE GODS! THE NEW ALBUM FROM A-NOOB-IS!" (killed by scarab beetles sent by Anubis as punishment for insolence) "Dead... Dead... Dead... Dead-dead!" (crushed by a monolith) "WONDERFULLY PRESERVED FOR FUTURE RESEARCH!" (sank into a tarpit) "METEOR'D!" (all mammals go extinct after a meteor causes global climate change, to which a Teen Girl reacts) Lizard Teen Girl Squad: "SURVIVAL OF THE PHATTEST!" (killed by Charles Darwin's music)
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Meets Limozeen|BotB]]||"Two Hand and One Foot Tapping Solo!" (Gary playing a guitar solo)||"Roadie Miscommunication Breakdown!" (run over by Limozeen tour bus)||"P-P-Punt!" by Perry, then "Arena Rocked!" (Cut in half by a helicopter propeller)||"English Lit!" (Larry breathing fire)||N/A
|}

== Injuries and Deaths in other Teen Girl Squad appearances ==
* [[404'd]] and [[Neon 404'd]]: The Ugly One is "404'd!" (has arrows shot through her) by Arrow'd Guy.
* [[virus]]: The [[King of Town]] is repeatedly slapped by The Ugly One when [[The Virus]] sends him there.
* [[love poems]]: [[Meredith]] and [[Kimberly]] get "Shakespeared!" (have a spear thrown through them) by Arrow'd Guy

==Analysis==
{| border="1" cellpadding="2"
!width="125"|Character
!width="125"|Survived, Uninjured
!width="125"|Survived, Injured
!width="125"|Survived (Total)
!width="125"|Survived Alone
|-
|Cheerleader||3 (TGS 1, 2, 3)||1 (TGS 6)||4 (TGS 1, 2, 3, 6)||1 (TGS 1)
|-
|So and So||2 (TGS 2, 3)||3 (TGS 5, 6, 11)||5 (TGS 2, 3, 5, 6, 11)||1 (TGS 11)
|-
|What's Her Face||2 (TGS 5, 12)||4 (TGS 2, 3, 4, 6)||6 (TGS 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 12)||1 (TGS 12)
|-
|The Ugly One||4 (TGS 2, 10, 14, 15)||3 (TGS 3, 4, 6)||7 (2, 3, 4, 6, 10, 14, 15)||3 (TGS 10, 14, 15)
|}

{{Teen Girl Squad}}
[[Category:Teen Girl Squad]]
[[Category:Violence]]

Teen Girl Squad Deaths

2019-07-19T06:37:24Z

President Cold One: /* Injuries and Deaths in other Teen Girl Squad appearances */

[[Image:tgs1.PNG|200px|thumb|"Everybody died 'cept me!"]]
The comic "[[Teen Girl Squad]]", written by [[Strong Bad]], often has its characters '''[[Death|die]] (or get [[Characters' Injuries|injured]]) in each episode''', due to being subjected to Strong Bad's overimaginative (and hilarious) cruelty.
{{clear}}
==Injuries and Deaths in Main Teen Girl Squad Episodes==
{| border="1" cellpadding="2"
!width="25"|Issue
!width="125"|[[Cheerleader]]
!width="125"|[[So and So]]
!width="125"|[[What's Her Face]]
!width="125"|[[The Ugly One]]
!width="300"|Other
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 1|1]]||N/A||"Voip" by [[Visor Robot]]||"Punt!" by dinosaur||"Arrowed!" by [[Arrow'd Guy]]||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 2|2]]||N/A||N/A||"Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat!" by Thomas (survived)||N/A||[[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#No "I" in Team Boy|No "I" in Team Boy]] squashed by "Children!" truck
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 3|3]]||N/A||N/A||"possums..." (survived)||"MSG[['d]]!"(survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 4|4]]||"Cerebellum[['d]]!"||Fell down a bottomless pit||Squashed by "NO pounds" (survived)||Squashed by "YOU'RE NOT" potatoes (survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 5|5]]||"Sailing mishap!"||Punted by Cheerleader (survived)||N/A||"Perch!" (survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 6|6]]||"Double Double Whipless Mochaccino Half Caf!!" Decemberween Gift Exchange Lion (survived)||"Triple Salchow!" Decemberween Gift Exchange Lion (survived)||Wave of Babies (survived)||"Cannonball!!" Decemberween Gift Exchange Lion (survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 7|7]]||"Squished."||[[Mrs. Commanderson]]||[[Mrs. Commanderson]]||[[Mrs. Commanderson]]||[[Tompkins]] "died...somehow" (torso takes silver)
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 8|8]]||Eaten by shark||"Twelve sided died!!" (by a twenty-sided die)||Eaten by shark||"Floor tommed!!!! Step-mommed!!! [[Pom Pom|Pom-Pommed??]]"||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 9|9]]||"Driver's Ed'ed Dead" ([[getting run over|run over]] by [[Learner's Permit Girl]])||Put on a play with port-a-john, didn't get very good reviews (impaled by a spear by Arrowed Guy)||Ate a bowl of Staple Sauce||BFF-Baow! Fom! Froosh! (Punched by a tree, which then fell on top of her and spontaneously combusted)||[[Mr. Pitters]] eaten by vultures
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10|10]]||"Caber tossed!!"||p0wned! by Tompkins's video game||"Lathe'd!" by A Mighty Warrior|| "ARROWED II!" (saved by Strong Bad)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10|10 (Easter egg)]]||Body parts rearranged||Crushed by giant golf ball||Lampshade covers head||Eaten by carnivorous plant||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 11|11]]||"Blinding Voip!" by Sci-Fi Greg's shirtless torso||Incarcerated after shoplifting (survived)||"MANIAC IN A SPEEDO'D"||"MANIAC IN A SPEEDO'D"||Camp counselor Shortshorts got "MANIAC IN A SPEEDO'D"
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 12|12]]||Killed by flying [[USB dongle goblin]]||Run over by TINES racing car||N/A||"Bad Juju!!"||Class Prez killed by flying USB dongle goblin
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 13|13]]||"Eau de Toilette!"||Garbage disposal (Oh, what a way to go)||The Snack mix, in Tompkins' parlor, with the PRETZEL STICK!||"Dangled off a hotel balcony'd!!" "Then dropped from said balcony'd!" into a bayonet tailgate party||Tompkins: "BABYSAT!"
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 14|14]]||"<strike>Towel Boy'd!!</strike> Team Manager'd!!"||So & So (as [[Scantron]])'s Dixon Ticonderoga Laser Blade Attack vs. MimeogWrath's Hyper Turbo Fill in the Blank Barrage||Revenge of the Cross Country Booster Club Bakesale!!||N/A||Seniors: "Come uppence!" with garbage cans dumped on them (survived)
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 15|15]]||"Pretty Prism!!"||"Betrayal!!" by UbuntuFan91 (Open-Source Greg's Avatar)||"Sparrow'd." (A new twist on an old classic!)||N/A||[[D n' D Greg]]: Gutted like sheep by Manolios Ugly One [[Japanese Culture Greg]]: "Uncanny Valley'd!!!" Tompkins: "[[Tenerence Love|Tenerrow'd!!]]"
|-
|[[Homestar Ruiner Teen Girl Squad|HR]]||Turned into stone by Medusa||"Cliff Noted!" (eaten by Moby Dick)||"A Splode!" (had her car blown up by gangsters)||"GuesswhatVOIPed!" by a robotic penguin||Any of the girls can also be killed by: "Triple Doubled!" (getting dunked through a basketball hoop) Mustard gas caused by perfume stank plus athletic stonk "Alternative Energy Source'd!" (getting fried by sunlight reflected off a mirror while wearing suntan lotion) "Fundamentals!" (getting her hairspray ignited by a flaming basketball) "RATS LIKE METAL! ...Apparently" (trampled by rats after receiving a TXT MSG with the Brainkrieg Ringtone) Getting stomped after METAMORPHOSING into a roach monster. Robotic Penguin: Dies after choking on The Ugly One's chocolate bar
|-
|[[Strong Badia The Free Cave Girl Squad|SBtF]]|||No Unique Deaths||"THE OPPOSITE OF RE-ENTRY'D!" (burned up in the atmosphere after flying a car into space)||No Unique Deaths||No Unique Deaths||Any of the girls can also be killed by: "Di-GESTED WHOLE!" (eaten by an anaconda) "BRAIN OUT OF NOSE WITH A HOOK!" (having brained removed while wrapped up like a mummy) "GORE'D!!!" (during a mammoth stampede) "SPEARROWED! (killed by a hunter after being mistaken for a sickly mammoth "CROSS-FYAH!" (caught in crossfire between storekeeper and shopper with machine gun) "SABER-TOOTH'D! TIGER... in case that wasn't obvious" (eaten by a saber-tooth tiger) "CURSE OF THE GODS! THE NEW ALBUM FROM A-NOOB-IS!" (killed by scarab beetles sent by Anubis as punishment for insolence) "Dead... Dead... Dead... Dead-dead!" (crushed by a monolith) "WONDERFULLY PRESERVED FOR FUTURE RESEARCH!" (sank into a tarpit) "METEOR'D!" (all mammals go extinct after a meteor causes global climate change, to which a Teen Girl reacts) Lizard Teen Girl Squad: "SURVIVAL OF THE PHATTEST!" (killed by Charles Darwin's music)
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Meets Limozeen|BotB]]||"Two Hand and One Foot Tapping Solo!" (Gary playing a guitar solo)||"Roadie Miscommunication Breakdown!" (run over by Limozeen tour bus)||"P-P-Punt!" by Perry, then "Arena Rocked!" (Cut in half by a helicopter propeller)||"English Lit!" (Larry breathing fire)||N/A
|}

== Injuries and Deaths in other Teen Girl Squad appearances ==
* [[love poems]]: [[Meredith]] and [[Kimberly]] get "Shakespeared!" (have a spear thrown through them) by Arrow'd Guy

==Analysis==
{| border="1" cellpadding="2"
!width="125"|Character
!width="125"|Survived, Uninjured
!width="125"|Survived, Injured
!width="125"|Survived (Total)
!width="125"|Survived Alone
|-
|Cheerleader||3 (TGS 1, 2, 3)||1 (TGS 6)||4 (TGS 1, 2, 3, 6)||1 (TGS 1)
|-
|So and So||2 (TGS 2, 3)||3 (TGS 5, 6, 11)||5 (TGS 2, 3, 5, 6, 11)||1 (TGS 11)
|-
|What's Her Face||2 (TGS 5, 12)||4 (TGS 2, 3, 4, 6)||6 (TGS 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 12)||1 (TGS 12)
|-
|The Ugly One||4 (TGS 2, 10, 14, 15)||3 (TGS 3, 4, 6)||7 (2, 3, 4, 6, 10, 14, 15)||3 (TGS 10, 14, 15)
|}

{{Teen Girl Squad}}
[[Category:Teen Girl Squad]]
[[Category:Violence]]

Teen Girl Squad Deaths

2019-07-19T06:37:04Z

President Cold One: /* Injuries and Deaths */

[[Image:tgs1.PNG|200px|thumb|"Everybody died 'cept me!"]]
The comic "[[Teen Girl Squad]]", written by [[Strong Bad]], often has its characters '''[[Death|die]] (or get [[Characters' Injuries|injured]]) in each episode''', due to being subjected to Strong Bad's overimaginative (and hilarious) cruelty.
{{clear}}
==Injuries and Deaths in Main Teen Girl Squad Episodes==
{| border="1" cellpadding="2"
!width="25"|Issue
!width="125"|[[Cheerleader]]
!width="125"|[[So and So]]
!width="125"|[[What's Her Face]]
!width="125"|[[The Ugly One]]
!width="300"|Other
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 1|1]]||N/A||"Voip" by [[Visor Robot]]||"Punt!" by dinosaur||"Arrowed!" by [[Arrow'd Guy]]||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 2|2]]||N/A||N/A||"Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat!" by Thomas (survived)||N/A||[[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#No "I" in Team Boy|No "I" in Team Boy]] squashed by "Children!" truck
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 3|3]]||N/A||N/A||"possums..." (survived)||"MSG[['d]]!"(survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 4|4]]||"Cerebellum[['d]]!"||Fell down a bottomless pit||Squashed by "NO pounds" (survived)||Squashed by "YOU'RE NOT" potatoes (survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 5|5]]||"Sailing mishap!"||Punted by Cheerleader (survived)||N/A||"Perch!" (survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 6|6]]||"Double Double Whipless Mochaccino Half Caf!!" Decemberween Gift Exchange Lion (survived)||"Triple Salchow!" Decemberween Gift Exchange Lion (survived)||Wave of Babies (survived)||"Cannonball!!" Decemberween Gift Exchange Lion (survived)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 7|7]]||"Squished."||[[Mrs. Commanderson]]||[[Mrs. Commanderson]]||[[Mrs. Commanderson]]||[[Tompkins]] "died...somehow" (torso takes silver)
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 8|8]]||Eaten by shark||"Twelve sided died!!" (by a twenty-sided die)||Eaten by shark||"Floor tommed!!!! Step-mommed!!! [[Pom Pom|Pom-Pommed??]]"||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 9|9]]||"Driver's Ed'ed Dead" ([[getting run over|run over]] by [[Learner's Permit Girl]])||Put on a play with port-a-john, didn't get very good reviews (impaled by a spear by Arrowed Guy)||Ate a bowl of Staple Sauce||BFF-Baow! Fom! Froosh! (Punched by a tree, which then fell on top of her and spontaneously combusted)||[[Mr. Pitters]] eaten by vultures
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10|10]]||"Caber tossed!!"||p0wned! by Tompkins's video game||"Lathe'd!" by A Mighty Warrior|| "ARROWED II!" (saved by Strong Bad)||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10|10 (Easter egg)]]||Body parts rearranged||Crushed by giant golf ball||Lampshade covers head||Eaten by carnivorous plant||N/A
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 11|11]]||"Blinding Voip!" by Sci-Fi Greg's shirtless torso||Incarcerated after shoplifting (survived)||"MANIAC IN A SPEEDO'D"||"MANIAC IN A SPEEDO'D"||Camp counselor Shortshorts got "MANIAC IN A SPEEDO'D"
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 12|12]]||Killed by flying [[USB dongle goblin]]||Run over by TINES racing car||N/A||"Bad Juju!!"||Class Prez killed by flying USB dongle goblin
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 13|13]]||"Eau de Toilette!"||Garbage disposal (Oh, what a way to go)||The Snack mix, in Tompkins' parlor, with the PRETZEL STICK!||"Dangled off a hotel balcony'd!!" "Then dropped from said balcony'd!" into a bayonet tailgate party||Tompkins: "BABYSAT!"
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 14|14]]||"<strike>Towel Boy'd!!</strike> Team Manager'd!!"||So & So (as [[Scantron]])'s Dixon Ticonderoga Laser Blade Attack vs. MimeogWrath's Hyper Turbo Fill in the Blank Barrage||Revenge of the Cross Country Booster Club Bakesale!!||N/A||Seniors: "Come uppence!" with garbage cans dumped on them (survived)
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 15|15]]||"Pretty Prism!!"||"Betrayal!!" by UbuntuFan91 (Open-Source Greg's Avatar)||"Sparrow'd." (A new twist on an old classic!)||N/A||[[D n' D Greg]]: Gutted like sheep by Manolios Ugly One [[Japanese Culture Greg]]: "Uncanny Valley'd!!!" Tompkins: "[[Tenerence Love|Tenerrow'd!!]]"
|-
|[[Homestar Ruiner Teen Girl Squad|HR]]||Turned into stone by Medusa||"Cliff Noted!" (eaten by Moby Dick)||"A Splode!" (had her car blown up by gangsters)||"GuesswhatVOIPed!" by a robotic penguin||Any of the girls can also be killed by: "Triple Doubled!" (getting dunked through a basketball hoop) Mustard gas caused by perfume stank plus athletic stonk "Alternative Energy Source'd!" (getting fried by sunlight reflected off a mirror while wearing suntan lotion) "Fundamentals!" (getting her hairspray ignited by a flaming basketball) "RATS LIKE METAL! ...Apparently" (trampled by rats after receiving a TXT MSG with the Brainkrieg Ringtone) Getting stomped after METAMORPHOSING into a roach monster. Robotic Penguin: Dies after choking on The Ugly One's chocolate bar
|-
|[[Strong Badia The Free Cave Girl Squad|SBtF]]|||No Unique Deaths||"THE OPPOSITE OF RE-ENTRY'D!" (burned up in the atmosphere after flying a car into space)||No Unique Deaths||No Unique Deaths||Any of the girls can also be killed by: "Di-GESTED WHOLE!" (eaten by an anaconda) "BRAIN OUT OF NOSE WITH A HOOK!" (having brained removed while wrapped up like a mummy) "GORE'D!!!" (during a mammoth stampede) "SPEARROWED! (killed by a hunter after being mistaken for a sickly mammoth "CROSS-FYAH!" (caught in crossfire between storekeeper and shopper with machine gun) "SABER-TOOTH'D! TIGER... in case that wasn't obvious" (eaten by a saber-tooth tiger) "CURSE OF THE GODS! THE NEW ALBUM FROM A-NOOB-IS!" (killed by scarab beetles sent by Anubis as punishment for insolence) "Dead... Dead... Dead... Dead-dead!" (crushed by a monolith) "WONDERFULLY PRESERVED FOR FUTURE RESEARCH!" (sank into a tarpit) "METEOR'D!" (all mammals go extinct after a meteor causes global climate change, to which a Teen Girl reacts) Lizard Teen Girl Squad: "SURVIVAL OF THE PHATTEST!" (killed by Charles Darwin's music)
|-
|[[Teen Girl Squad Meets Limozeen|BotB]]||"Two Hand and One Foot Tapping Solo!" (Gary playing a guitar solo)||"Roadie Miscommunication Breakdown!" (run over by Limozeen tour bus)||"P-P-Punt!" by Perry, then "Arena Rocked!" (Cut in half by a helicopter propeller)||"English Lit!" (Larry breathing fire)||N/A
|}

== Injuries and Deaths in other Teen Girl Squad appearances ==
* [[love poems]]: [[Meridith]] and [[Kimberly]] get "Shakespeared!" (have a spear thrown through them) by Arrow'd Guy

==Analysis==
{| border="1" cellpadding="2"
!width="125"|Character
!width="125"|Survived, Uninjured
!width="125"|Survived, Injured
!width="125"|Survived (Total)
!width="125"|Survived Alone
|-
|Cheerleader||3 (TGS 1, 2, 3)||1 (TGS 6)||4 (TGS 1, 2, 3, 6)||1 (TGS 1)
|-
|So and So||2 (TGS 2, 3)||3 (TGS 5, 6, 11)||5 (TGS 2, 3, 5, 6, 11)||1 (TGS 11)
|-
|What's Her Face||2 (TGS 5, 12)||4 (TGS 2, 3, 4, 6)||6 (TGS 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 12)||1 (TGS 12)
|-
|The Ugly One||4 (TGS 2, 10, 14, 15)||3 (TGS 3, 4, 6)||7 (2, 3, 4, 6, 10, 14, 15)||3 (TGS 10, 14, 15)
|}

{{Teen Girl Squad}}
[[Category:Teen Girl Squad]]
[[Category:Violence]]

How do you type with boxing gloves on?

2019-07-19T02:09:02Z

President Cold One: /* Variations */

[[Image:compy 386 side view.png|thumb|left|I don't see any fingers; do ''you'' see any fingers?]]
[[Image:Typing with gloves on.PNG|thumb|Clickety clack clack]]

'''"How do you type with boxing gloves on?"''' and its variants are questions that [[Strong Bad]] is asked on a regular basis in his [[Strong Bad Email|emails]]. [[The Brothers Chaps]] obviously must be asked it so often that they have made it a running gag.

Strong Bad hates this question, and it is often [[DELETED]]. [[Old-Timey Strong Bad]] is apparently frequently asked the similar question, "How do you manage the [[Supra Modern Telegram|telegramophone]] whilst wearing gentleman's sport gloves?" Strong Bad parodies this question in the [[Fan Costume Commentary]] and the email [[vacation]]. In the DVD commentary for the email [[video games]], The Brothers Chaps say that they might come up with a way to answer this question someday. However, in February 2006, they also included this question as one of five topics which will likely [[Flashforward 2006 Seattle - 28 Feb 2006#Pre-animation Process - 4:05 p.m.|never be addressed in a Strong Bad Email]].

Strong Bad himself starts to ask this question when he's forced to type for the first time in an [[Easter egg]] in [[Hremail 7]]. [[The Cheat]] cuts him off with some "smart thinking", suggesting that he is responsible for coming up with Strong Bad's mysterious typing method.

From what little that has been seen, it seems Strong Bad merely presses his gloved hands upon the keyboard just as any typist would, and the appropriate keys are pressed and depressed without interference. On a related note, Strong Bad seems capable of typing not only with his boxing gloves, but with any part of his body he wishes. In [[sisters]], he types "head—hit—keyboard" by striking the keyboard with his head, and in [[funny]], he types "WOAH!! I CAN TYPE WITH ONE FOOT!" by hitting the keyboard with his foot. In [[bottom 10]], he even typed when his keyboard was covered in [[puking|vomit]], and in [[tape-leg]], he typed with one hand while removing tape from his shoe. Likewise, in [[crying]], he typed a complete sentence, with punctuation and spelling, with one hand, while holding up a drawing of [[Li'l Brudder]] with the other.

Oddly enough, in [[dullard]], Strong Bad types with his thumbs facing up, as if he were touching the keys with the bottoms of his fists.

At one point, in the email [[fingers]], he tried prosthetic fingers made of various items such as [[prawns]], action figures, etc. Their effect on his typing skills, though, was disastrous. However, in [[morning routine]], he was able to type successfully with a [[Potate]] bag covering his right hand.

In the email [[highschool]], [[Teenage Character Variations#Teenage Strong Bad|Teenage Strong Bad]] plays the keyboard in [[The Homestar Runner Mysfit-steries]], even though he doesn't have fingers. Strong Bad is also seen playing piano in [[rock opera]].

In the email [[pop-up]], the [[Tandy 400]] was featured in the book asking "HOW TYPE BOX GLOVES?" Strong Bad described this as "his [[crap]]py old computer, asking the same crappy old questions."

In the email [[part-time job]], Strong Bad portrays himself in a drawing without his left glove on, displaying 3 fingers instead.

A similar question that gets asked often is how [[Homestar Runner]], [[Marzipan]], [[The King of Town]], and [[Homsar]], among other characters, are able to pick things up [[Lack of Visible Arms|without having any arms]].

According to [[Fan Costumes 2016]], the gloves he wears are A+ #1 ALL-PRO Panache.

==Appearances==
[[Image:Stoyboard boxing gloves.PNG|thumb|A claustrophobic close-up]]
*Email [[spring cleaning]]
*Email [[50 emails]] (Homestar tries to delete this one)
*Email [[fingers]]
*Email [[huttah!]]
*[[Fan Costume Commentary]]
*Email [[virus]] (at the end, in Strong Bad's crying scene, as "How do you text with boxing gloves on?")
*Email [[pop-up]] (on the Tandy page in the pop-up book as "HOW TYPE BOX GLOVES?")
*[[Sbemail 150?!?]]
*Email [[your funeral]]
*Email [[email thunder]] ([[email thunder#Commentary Transcript|DVD commentary]]) ([[Matt Chapman]] asks, "How does Homestar type with no gloves of any kind on?")
*[[Hremail 7]] (While waving his arm, Strong Bad starts to ask "How am ''I'' supposed to type with—" before [[The Cheat]] cuts him off with a reply. Strong Bad accepts The Cheat's answer.)
*Email [[independent]] — Strong Bad's [[Strong Bad Email Intros|intro]] rap is about how he prefers to click prompts, and typing them "made [his] boxing gloves sick".
*Email [[videography]]
*[[PAX - 8 Apr 2018]] — The question was asked during the Q&A section, and [[Puppet Strong Bad]] demonstrated his ability by flailing around Matt's keyboard.

==Variations==
[[File:Waggly Knuckled Monstrosities.png|thumb|How's he supposed to type with these waggly-knuckled monstrosities?]]
*Email [[some kinda robot]] — Strong Bad is asked if he takes off his boxing gloves before going to bed, to which he replies by asking the sender, "Do you remove your face and hands before you go to bed?"
*Email [[the bird]] — Strong Bad is asked if it is hard to [[Double deuce|flip someone off]] with boxing gloves on.
*[[Fan Costume Commentary]] — Strong Bad comments, "Dear Strong Bad, how do you type with pieces of crappy red foam taped around your hands?" on the first costume.
*[[Nintendo Power July 2008 Interview]] — Strong Bad is asked, "How hard is it to play [[Nintendo|Wii]] with your Power Glove on?"
*[[Strong Badia the Free]] — Strong Bad complains that he can't make template emails on the [[Snacky 186]] with boxing gloves on, and says that "Typing I can handle; don't ask me how."
*[[Doomy Tales of the Macabre]] — Strong Bad's fate is having his gloves replaced with human hands. He then claims that he's hideous and asks how he will ever type with waggly knuckled monstrosities.
*[[Poker Night at the Inventory]] — Tycho asks Strong Bad how he does "anything even remotely interesting with hands like that".
*[[@StrongBadActual]] — "Too many 'How do you tweet with boxing gloves on' tweets! Must... drop... train on em!!"
*Email [[sbemail206]] — Strong Bad says, "All right, boxing gloves. Get ready to work your inexplicable magic!"
*[[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 17.2]] — Strong Bad gets stumped when trying to type in a phone number and passes it on to The Cheat.
{{clear}}

==See Also==
*[[Parents]]
*[[Draw Trogdor Again]]

[[Category:Strong Bad Email running gags]]
[[Category:Research]]

SBCG4AP Intros

2019-07-18T09:08:06Z

President Cold One: /* Fun Facts */

[[Image:HomestarRuinerWiiChannelBanner.png|thumb|"I've got ''other'' plans for the Lappy today..."]]
When a purchased episode of [[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]] is selected from the Wii menu, [[Strong Bad]] will say one of the following statements before the player selects "Start".
{{clear}}
== The Intros ==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=5 style="border-collapse:collapse; text-align: center;"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Number !! Episode !! Intro
|-
| 1 || [[Homestar Ruiner]] || No time for the emails right now, I've got ''other'' plans for the Lappy today.
|-
| 2 || [[Strong Badia the Free]] || Onward to Strong Badia! Strong Badia, the free!
|-
| 3 || [[Baddest of the Bands]] || Strong Bad organizes a legendary Battle Royale of the Bands!
|-
| 4 || [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]] || A dastardly, masterly master-work of cini-magic wonder!
|-
| 5 || [[8-Bit is Enough]] || I think you should be in your own video game; Couch Quest: The Search For My Butt.
|}

== Fun Facts ==
* The Intro message for Homestar Ruiner is the only one that's not a quote from the game.

{{SBCG4AP}}

SBCG4AP Intros

2019-07-18T09:07:53Z

President Cold One: /* Fun Facts */

SBCG4AP Intros

2019-07-18T09:07:38Z

President Cold One: /* The Intros */

Baddest of the Bands Walkthrough

2019-07-18T05:53:31Z

President Cold One: /* Musical Moments */

[[Image:Sbcg4ap103 strongbad.png|thumb|"Rock and roll, Strong Bad!"]]A walkthrough of ''[[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]] Episode 3: [[Baddest of the Bands]]''.

{{spoiler}}

==Legend==
A description of events will be written in plaintext.

*'''Mandatory actions will be bulleted and written in boldface.'''
*Actions that increase your awesomeness rating, but are not mandatory, will be bulleted and written in plaintext.
*''Optional actions that might help you understand the scene will be bulleted and written in italics.''

==Walkthrough==

===House of Strong===
Strong Bad sits down to play his new Limozeen game as the episode begins. Feel free to play it as far as you can... but you won't get far, because the Fun Machine will blow a fuse and the game will glitch up. Guess someone's got to fix it...

*''And that someone isn't Strong Sad. You can ask him about it, but he'll just tell you to go visit Bubs. And Bubs don't come cheap.''
*While you're here, though, be sure to nab your Metal Detector. You won't need it, but it'll help you dig up some bonus items.
*Go down to the basement and open your inventory. You'll notice that you have a microphone there, for no apparent reason. What this bad boy will do is make cardboard boxes appear out of nowhere, if you sing in the right place. Try it out and open the box that appears next to the washer to get a sloshy shirt.
*While you're downstairs, examine the couch to find your leopard print pants.
*Search the Luxa-lounger for a Limozeen collector's glass.
*'''Go to the kitchen and open up the fridge to find some aerosol cheese spray.'''
*Touch the microwave next to the fridge to get a, ahem, shocking surprise. Turns out you get awesomeness points for this. Go figure.
*'''Talk to Strong Mad and he'll mention that he's heading to Cool Tapes practice at Marzipan's.'''
*'''You can also nab the vandalized album sitting on Strong Mad's dresser. Hold on to it; it will be a useful reference later.'''
*'''Get your lighter from next to the Lappy, too.'''
*You can get zapped again by trying to unplug the Lappy.
*Flick the upper light switch to get the first page for the Limozeen game manual.
*''If you talk to Strong Sad, he'll tell you that he's going to become a snooty rock n' roll journalist, something Strong Bad can't seem to imagine.''
*Talking to Strong Sad twice about the bats should reveal that they love dank places, your first Expression of Affection.
*''There are other cool-looking and plot-necessary items in your brothers' rooms, but for now, they'll stop you from taking them. Oh, well.''
*Go outside and rock out with your microphone again. Open the box for another Limozeen shot glass.
*'''Open your map and add Marzipan's House to it. But head for Bubs' Concession Stand first.'''

'''Checkpoint:''' You should have the Fun Machine, Metal Detector, the Aerosol Cheese, the Vandalized Album, and the Lighter. Strong Bad will now be harmed twice. You also have two of the four costume items, two of four collector's glasses, one Limozeen game manual page, and one Expression of Affection.

===Bubs' Concession Stand===
*'''Give Bubs the Fun Machine. He'll fix it in exchange for a big sack of cash — one you currently lack.'''

{{Trophy|bronze|The High Cost of Repairs}}

At this point, Strong Bad gets the idea of running a Battle of the Bands. Not only will it be an awesome excuse to make a lot of noise, but he can use the profits on fixing his Fun Machine. Bubs is willing to help, but first things first. He needs a security officer and some celebrity judges. To help with the former, however, he hands you a security jacket. But who will wear it?

*'''Grab the paper on the side of the stand for help with the other half of the deal. Limozeen will spend the day with whoever can send in the coolest album picture! You already have some concept art (if you took it from Strong Mad's room), but you still need to make it a reality.'''
*'''Get the stencil next to the stand, too.'''
*'''Since you're here, wander through the Field to add all the locations to the map. Unlike in Homestar Ruiner, you're going to need to visit most of them sooner or later anyway.'''
*'''When you get to Strong Badia, put the stencil you just got on the fence. Use the aerosol cheese on the stencil to make it appear as though "SECURITY" is a hot new band. Strong Sad will come in, eager for news to help him in being a snooty rock journalist.'''
*'''Show Strong Sad the security jacket. He'll be convinced it's for a new hot band and put it on. '''

Strong Sad will run over and show it to Bubs, who assumes that Strong Sad is the head of security. Strong Sad gets confused and eventually gives in. Now you just need some celebrity judges. Maybe if you won that Limozeen album art contest...

Take a look at that album cover from Strong Mad's room. Strong Bad declares this the coolest album art ever. It involves a cool-looking car on fire with a star, a blonde in a bikini with a sword, and a dinosaur. If you can set up a photo like that, you'll be in business. And wouldn't you know, there's already a cool car in the area with a convenient oil slick around it!

*'''Go over to the Cool Car and set the oil slick on fire. It looks cool, but there's still a lot left to be done until it's contest-entry worthy.'''
*'''Walk to the right, and you'll eventually notice a stick (not THE Stick) with a starfish and a sign that says "Eat at Bubs". Grab the star and put it on the car. Now you've got the "imploding star" part.'''
*While you're in The Field, use the Detector in front of the fence and to the right of Bubs' Concession Stand to get the Hollywood Boulevard shoes and a Two-O Duo poster, respectively.
*Sing in front of the Brick Wall to make another cardboard box appear, which contains a headband.
*'''Head to Marzipan's house.'''

'''Checkpoint:''' In addition to the items you would have already used in the above, you should have the Limozeen Contest Flyer, all four costume items, and the Two-O Duo poster. You should have automatically gained a second Expression of Affection by talking to Bubs about the Fun Machine. You've lost the lighter, but it won't be as critical to your awesomeness this time around. The Fun Machine is gone too.

===Marzipan's===
We're really only here because Strong Mad won't leave the House of Strong until you see him here. But let's do a couple of extra things while we're here.

*'''Grab that Zen Rock from Marzipan's garden.'''
*Use the Detector outside her house to unearth another Limozeen shotglass.
*''If you want to know why the Cool Tapes are practicing, feel free to ask Marzipan. It involves white vegan bats. That's enough to disinterest Strong Bad.''
*'''Now that we've seen both brothers leave the house, time to head back to the House of Strong.'''

===House of Strong===
Without your brothers' interference, you can now filch all their stuff!

*'''From Strong Sad's room, take the camera and the bat hutch.'''
*'''From the bathroom, take the fake sword.'''
*'''From Strong Mad's room, take Poodonkis. It's in the left side of the closet.'''

'''Checkpoint:''' You should have the Zen Rock, Camera, Bat Hutch, Fake Sword, and Poodonkis. You should have three shot glasses, too.

So back to that album. You need a hot blonde with a sword, and now you have the sword...

*'''It's time to head to Marzipan's house to enlist the help of the hottest blonde around.'''

===Marzipan's===
*Oh, wait, did you think I meant Marzipan? Sorry, Strong Bad is physically incapable of speaking to her without insulting her. Try to give her the fake sword anyway; remember, you get awesomeness points for getting hurt.
*'''No, it's actually The Cheat that you need to offer the sword to.'''
*'''Head back to the Cool Car to complete your masterpiece.'''

'''Checkpoint:''' You'll have lost the sword, but you should have a third Strong Bad abuse point.

===Cool Car===
The Cheat, complete with a disturbing bikini, will already be here. Just one more finishing touch...

*'''Use Poodonkis on the car. Strong Bad will put him on the ground a distance away for perspective reasons.'''
*'''Now snap a picture with Strong Sad's camera. As if the scene wasn't already awesome enough, the Von Blaubloods (er, the bats) will fly in and circle around The Cheat, and Strong Bad will get an unbelievable stroke of luck in the way of awesome lighting. Now THAT is an album cover!'''
*'''Head back to the House of Strong.'''

===House of Strong===
*'''All you need to do now is mail in that picture. Strong Bad wins the contest!'''
*'''Head to Bubs' Concession Stand.'''

===Bubs' Concession Stand===
*'''From your inventory, use the letter from Limozeen on Bubs and the concert is on! He'll give you entry forms and tell you to hire three bands. He recommends Cool Tapes and talking to Pom Pom, but refuses to speak of his old duo with that "big green sellout," Coach Z.'''
{{Trophy|Bronze|We're Going To Put On A Show!}}

'''Checkpoint:''' You'll lose certain items you no longer need; notably, the Limozeen Flyer and the Vandalized Album. Poodonkis won't be in your inventory either, since you used him to set up the photo. What you will have now, however, are some entry forms to give to the bands.

*''Ask Bubs about the Two-O-Duo and he'll reminisce a bit about how he and Coach Z used to be real pranksters. He'll also give you his "DeButt" album. You don't need this, but it'll give hints on how to reunite the Two-O-Duo.''
*'''Open the map. Club Technochocolate and The Track will be added. Let's check out the Club first.'''

===Club Technochocolate===
Pom Pom is well-known for his keyboarding skills, and he's currently looking for a singer to join him. And Homestar is here too, hoping that he'll do well in an audition. On various tables throughout the club are various food items.

*''Pom Pom won't join your concert without a singer, and Homestar is strapped for cash. Better make sure Homestar passes the audition!''
*'''There's a slow cooker near Pom Pom, but it's empty right now. Seems like kind of a waste, with all this food around. Help Pom Pom out by spraying some aerosol cheese in there. It makes a surprisingly good fondue!'''
*'''On the farthest table is an album. Examine it to take it. Turns out that it's Pom Pom's hit, Food-Related Love.'''
*'''Put the record on the player in the DJ booth to prompt Homestar to start singing.'''

Unfortunately for Homestar, he's having trouble making good food-related rhymes. When he gets stuck, he'll talk about whatever he's focusing on. Help him out by standing near the food items that fit the rhyme (click on the item and Strong Bad will automatically move into position.)

*'''For the first line, stand by the Buffalo Wings.'''
*'''Think it's the escargot for the second line? Sorry, Homestar doesn't get it. Try the wine (the merlot) instead.'''
*'''The escargot (snails) work for the third line.'''
*'''And the final line will require that fondue. If you forgot to fill it before, you can quickly fill it before Homestar finishes the song.'''

Pom Pom will be impressed and will hire Homestar as a singer.

*'''Give Pom Pom an entry form for the Battle Royale. Homestar will talk him into signing up for it. You'll get the filled in entry form, but the check's in the mail. (Man, if you can't trust a known criminal with the word "Bad" in his name, who CAN you trust?)'''
*Walk near the bar and use the microphone to make a box appear. Inside the box is a Pom Pom poster.
*'''Let's visit Marzipan next.'''

'''Checkpoint:''' You should have the Two-O-Duo "DeButt" album and Pomstar's entry form. You should also have two out of the four Rare Band Posters.

===Marzipan's===
Marzipan's old aquarium gravel will be in a tipped-over box on the lawn. More on that later.

*''Marzipan won't agree to join your concert. Turns out it's the same day as the benefit concert.''
*'''There are some Cool Tapes pictures on the desk near Marzipan's answering machine. Take one.'''
*''You can have Marzipan autograph a picture, and she can make it out to various characters, each with a different response.''
*Having her sign one for Strong Bad will inspire her ire, but it will still count as a third Expression of Affection.
*'''She'll be hesitant about making one out to Coach Z, but you're going to need that one, and it will net you a fourth Expression of Affection to boot.'''
*'''Now head to the Track.'''

===The Track===
Well, actually, the Locker Room. You can't visit the track proper in this episode. But anyway, Coach Z is in a funk, stamping toilet paper (and just about everything else) to take his mind off his bad mood.

*''Ask him what's wrong, and he'll say that he's depressed over his unrequited stalk of Marzipan.''
*Talking to him about Marzipan a second time will tally up a fifth Expression of Affection.
*'''Show him the autographed picture. Coach Z will be thrilled and will head over to Marzipan's immediately.'''
*'''With Coach Z gone, you're free to rescue a roll of the toilet paper he was stamping from an unspeakable fate.'''
*'''There's also some bleach in the second locker.'''
*Also, in the locker to the left of the one where the bleach is contained, there is a Cool Tapes poster.
*'''And there's a conspicuous bent-out-of-shape hanger in the showers.'''
*'''Head to Strong Bad's house next.'''

'''Checkpoint:''' You should now have added Toilet Paper, Bleach, and the Hanger to your inventory. You should also have 3 out of 4 of the Rare Band Posters and five Expressions of Affection.

===House of Strong===
Marzipan won't join your concert because of some endangered white bats. Well, what if they weren't so endangered? Would she change her mind?

*'''Go to the basement and throw the bat hutch and some bleach into the washer.'''
*'''Kick the washer to get it running. The bats will miraculously survive, and wind up just as white as the bat sitting in Marzipan's house.'''
*'''Time to head back to Marzipan's.'''

===Marzipan's===
Coach Z will be here. He's trying to get Marzipan's attention, but it's not going well.

*''You can ask him to try various methods to get attention.''
**Suggesting he use the Boom Box won't work for him, but will award you with a Musical Moment.
**Encouraging him to recite poetry won't work either, but knocks out a sixth Expression of Affection.
**''You can also get him to throw pebbles at her window, but this too will be unsuccessful.''
*''Check out the Two-O-Duo album. One of the tracks is "Throwin' Rocks through Ol' Man Marzipan's Windows". That sounds like a pro-Strong-Bad idea! And Coach Z is throwing pebbles already, but they lack the requisite oomph.''
*'''Drop the Zen Rock into the pile of pebbles.'''
*'''Now suggest that Coach Z throw pebbles again. Only this time, he'll throw the not-exactly-pebblish Zen Rock and make a not-exactly-pebblish hole in the window. Marzipan will be not-exactly-pleased, but Bubs will conveniently walk by and reminisce a little.'''
*Show an entry form to Strong Mad, inspiring Marzipan to sing a little song, earning you another Musical Moment.
*Showing an entry form to The Cheat (twice) will recall an unfortunate previous promotional deal, and award you with a Musical Moment both times.
*'''Anyway, show Marzipan your mock-albino bats and she'll be thrilled. She'll even set her own bat free to fly among its kin, and cancel her previous gig!'''
**''If you give Marzipan the bats before Coach Z throws the rock, the sequence will play out slightly differently.''
*'''Now give her an entry form. Though she doesn't like Limozeen much, she signs up! But she doesn't trust Strong Bad with money either, so again, check's in the mail.'''

'''Checkpoint:''' You won't have the Bat Hutch or Zen Rock any more. You will, however, have the Cool Tapes entry form, four Musical Moments, and six Expressions of Affection.

*''Back to that Two-O-Duo album, the other tracks are "Stealin' Stuff from My Own Store" and "Let's T.P. The Stick". Well, Bubs liked the results the last time you did what an album track said!''
*'''Head for The Stick.'''

===The Stick===
*'''This one's easy: just throw the toilet paper on The Stick to decorate it. Since Coach Z stamped the toilet paper, he'll be the one to take the blame.'''
*'''Bubs' Concession Stand is the next target. You can walk there or just zip there with your map.'''

===Bubs' Concession Stand===
Hey, one of Bubs' old records is just sitting out asking to be stolen! Not as simple as it seems, though: this one has kind of an esoteric solution.

*'''Try to take the album. Oops, Bubs installed a security robot, which will yell at you and summon Bubs over. Take the alarm that's flashing over the robot. That's right, the alarm, not the record.'''
*''You can try to take the record, but Bubs has superglued it to the counter. Whatever, you didn't want that cheap imitation diamond plated record any dang way.''
*'''Now to put the alarm somewhere that will make Bubs think Coach Z did it. And where better than his office? Head for The Track.'''

===The Track===
*'''Put the alarm in Coach Z's office. Bubs will use his homing beacon to find the alarm, again believing Coach Z did it.
*'''Head back to Bubs' Concession Stand.'''

'''Checkpoint:''' This will be the last checkpoint before a lot of areas become inaccessible until Extended Play, so make sure there's nothing left you want to do right now! You won't have the Toilet Paper any more, but as long as Bubs has agreed to rejoin Coach Z, you've got your third band!

===Bubs' Concession Stand===
*'''Talk to Bubs about Two-O-Duo. They're back together now, and Bubs has already taken care of the paperwork.'''
*'''Give him the entry forms for the other two bands. You're now in business!'''

Okay, so I have some good news, some bad news, some awesome news, and some awful news. Good news? You're making a profit from your concert! Bad news? It's not enough to repair the FunMachine. Awesome news? Strong Bad realizes that he can join the concert himself and use the prize money to make up the rest of the repairs! Awful news? Every competent or even halfway-competent musician is already performing in a band. Only the King of Town and Homsar remain.

Yikes.

===Strong Bad's Stage===
After some offscreen and probably very montagey practice, Strong Bad will ask his bandmates to help him name the band.

*'''Each of the three characters will have five unmarked choices appear; select whatever you like. The choices are, in order:'''
**'''Strong Bad:'''
**# Diamond
**# Devastating
**# Deluxe
**# Degenerate
**# Demonic
**'''The King of Town:'''
**# Octopus
**# Omelette
**# Oyster
**# Oatmeal
**# Oliveloaf
**'''Homsar:'''
**# Itch Machine
**# Iguanodon
**# Insurance
**# Incorporated
**# Insomniacs

*'''After all three characters have said their part of the band name, you can pick the "Angel" option to go with it, or the "Devil" option to do the whole thing over. The band name doesn't matter, so just accept it when you're satisfied. The band's initials will always be DÖI, however.'''

The band will start rocking — with pretty miserable results. Homsar and the King of Town just weren't made for rock concerts. DÖI is way behind in the rankings, too. Strong Bad quickly realizes that the only way he's going to win this concert is if everyone else is sabotaged! Fortunately, sabotage is something Strong Bad excels at.

All the old areas except the House of Strong (and The Track, if you forgot to pick up the hanger from in there) will be removed from the map for now. In their place will be the stages for all four bands. Also, your main inventory has been cleared of everything except the Microphone, Metal Detector, Bleach, Camera, and Hanger. You don't need any of the other items any more, though.

All of the stages will have a cardboard cutout of Limozeen next to them.

*''Examine the cardboard cutout. Turns out that THIS was what was meant by the contest. They'll still happily judge your concert via webcam, luckily. Or not so luckily, given that they don't approve of DÖI's... unique style at all.''
*'''There's a coloring book next to the cutout, too. Who doesn't like coloring books? Take it.'''
*Use the dectector near the D.O.I. banner. You'll find a...D.O.I. Poster?! Strong Bad then gives his approval.
*'''Head for the Cool Tapes stage first.'''

===Cool Tapes Stage===
Their practice has paid off. The Cool Tapes are quite the experienced band, and their music proves it. Homestar, Bubs, and Limozeen strongly approve! Which means nothing good for DÖI, so you're going to have to do something about their approval rating.

*''Talk to "Limozeen". They'll say that they love Cool Tapes' music, but they wish she wasn't so preachy. On cue, Marzipan will speak up against harming sea mammals, destroying wetlands, and exploiting women. If she gets too preachy, she might lose her Limozeen support.''
*'''You'll want that billy club leaning next to the stage. Strong Sad doesn't mind if you take it. He does, however, mind the years of abuse he's suffered at your hands, and now that he has the power, he'll make sure to remind you. But, hey, at least you got the club, right?'''
*Unfortunately, that time doesn't count to your abuse meter. Talk to Strong Sad again in order to get harmed.
*Use the microphone here to conjure a box containing the dedication page of the Limozeen game manual.
*'''Check out Pomstar's Stage next.'''

'''Checkpoint:''' Strong Bad's been harmed four times now, but you'll have the Coloring Book and the Billy Club. You should also have two Limozeen game manual pages and all 4 Rare Band posters.

===Pomstar Stage===
What's going on here? Homestar is being suave and charming, careful with his words, AND wearing silly headphones?!! Something's fishy - and it's high-time we found, gutted and deep-fried that fish.

*''Try talking to Pom Pom. He'll snap at you, and Homestar will repeat what Pom Pom apparently says. Odd...''
*''How about talking to Strong Sad? He'll zap you again (which won't count extra toward your awesomeness, as he already zapped you once), and then speak into his walkie-talkie. Again, Homestar will repeat what Strong Sad says.''

Aha! Pom Pom must be feeding his lines to Homestar through those headphones! The nerve of him! Cheating! I'd say two could play at that game... only you were planning on doing that anyway, weren't you?

*''This stage was set up near the Drive-Thru Whale. Talk to the Whale to hear some nonsense, which will only serve to annoy Marzipan and Coach Z. If only you could get Homestar to repeat the whale's words! Oh, and the spout is missing. If you had spoken to the Whale in The Field, you'd know why.''
*Talking to the Drive-Thru Whale a second time will check off a seventh Expression of Affection.
*'''Put the hanger into the whale's now-evacuated blowhole to form a makeshift antenna.'''
*'''Examine the antenna to turn it. Make sure it's pointed toward the stage.'''
*'''Now talk to the whale. Homestar will repeat the nonsense that the whale says, turning off the crowd. Without a suave singer, Pomstar no longer stands a chance! One down, two to go.'''
*'''While we're here, remember how Marzipan disliked the mistreatment of marine mammals? See that arm on the Limozeen cutout? Put the Billy Club in that arm and it will look like they're hitting the whale.'''
*'''Marzipan's not paying attention, though, so snap a picture of them.'''
*'''Give the picture to Marzipan. She'll be miffed, but will try to contain her emotions.'''
*'''Let's check out the Two-O-Duo's act next.'''

===Two-O-Duo Stage===
Pom Pom, The Cheat, and Limozeen are all enjoying the performance, to Strong Bad's annoyance.

*Talk to Limozeen to see what they like about the Duo. Turns out that the music isn't that stellar, but Coach Z's dance steps are more than cool enough to make up for it. This counts as the eighth Expression of Affection.
*''Check out the records on the edge of the stage. You can rearrange them, and after you leave, Coach Z will do dance steps in the order indicated by the songs.''
**''Left Shift-Alt-Delete: Coach Z will dance to his left.''
**''Roll Wit' 'Da Punches: Coach Z will do a rolling hand move that resembles punches.''
**''Slide to the Right Y'all Bridesmaids: Coach Z will dance to his right.''
**''Doin the Wigglie: Coach Z will do a wiggling dance.''
*''None of the orders will do much to disrupt their groove. Coach Z will reject any dance maneuvers that send him off the stage, and you can't really do much else with this selection.''
*Try dumping the bleach into the pond by the stage. This will bring back painful (albeit awesome) memories of Marzipan's wrath — after all, she's against the destruction of wetlands, remember? — so Strong Bad will refuse to do it. If only you had someone else to take the blame...
*'''Give the bleach bottle to "Limozeen". They'll unwittingly dump the bleach into the pond, killing the fish within.'''
*'''Since Marzipan is nowhere to be found, let's get a picture of this one too.'''
*Poke the dead fish to receive the Mary shot glass.
*Use the metal detector to unearth the lyrics page of the Limozeen game manual.
*'''Head home next.'''

'''Checkpoint:''' You should have a picture of Limozeen dumping bleach into the pond, though you won't have the Bleach or the Billy Club any more. Thanks to Strong Bad's memory, he'll have been hurt five times now, and you should have three pages of the Limozeen game manual and eight Expressions of Affection.

===House of Strong===

*'''Some of Strong Sad's old records are here. Specifically, "Hugo Left Me Miserable" and "The Three O'Clock Twist". Those should come in handy!'''
*'''Let's go see if these new records will help us out with the Two-O-Duo.'''

===Two-O-Duo Stage===
You've got two extra records now, one that makes Coach Z dance left and one that will make him turn ninety degrees. Coach Z still won't do anything as dumb as dance off the stage, but perhaps you can make him do something else that's dumb instead.

*'''Switch out "Doin The Wigglie" and "Slide to the Right" for the two songs you got from the House of Strong.'''
*'''Arrange the songs so that one of the "Left" songs is first, then "The Three O'Clock Twist", then the other "Left" song, and finally "Roll Wit' 'Da Punches".

As a result of your tampering, Coach Z will accidentally dance right up next to Bubs... and hit him in the face! Bubs is so angry at him that he storms offstage. Coach Z can't save himself with his rapping alone, so they drop in the standings too!

With the Duo out of the way, let's go have some words with Cool Tapes' lead singer, Marzipan, over at the Pomstar stage.

===Pomstar Stage===
*'''Give Marzipan the picture from the Duo's stage, further damaging her opinion of Limozeen.'''

===Two-O-Duo Stage===
*To obtain the ninth Expression of Affection, take this opportunity to turn your Hint level to High in Options and head back to the stage of the now-disgraced Two-O-Duo. Clicking randomly around for a bit should lead to Strong Bad eventually hinting that the Teen Girl Squad would love the Duo's stage setup.

===House of the Brothers Strong===
*'''Head on over to the TGS drawing table in Strong Bad's room. Forget notecards with TGS ideas buried in random places, use the coloring book and check out Strong Bad's latest creation: "Teen Girl Squad Meets LIMOZEEN!"'''

===Pomstar Stage===
*'''Finally, give Marzipan the coloring book. She'll now be thoroughly infuriated with Limozeen and will dedicate her next song to trashing them. Of course, insulting judges is never a good way to win competitions, so Cool Tapes' score will plummet.'''
Unfortunately, even with all this sabotage, all three bands are still doing better than DÖI! Time to up the ante. Strong Bad promises good things when he unveils his secret weapon to be revealed with the button in the corner of his stage...

'''Checkpoint:''' You'll still have the two records you stole from Bubs, but no more Coloring Book. No picture either, though you will have nine Expressions of Affection.

===DÖI Stage===
*''Surprise, surprise. The red button doesn't work. The allegedly amazing prop you promised will have to be revealed manually.''
*''But if you try to head toward the ladder to get to the top of the stage, you'll discover that the fan is on so strong that you can't reach it! And worse still, the controls for the fan are, themselves, on the ceiling!''
*'''What you CAN do is try to grab that German helmet on the hatrack. You'll just barely grab it before the wind blows you back... and unintentionally makes you do a cool slide across the floor.'''
*'''Give the hat to Homsar.'''
*'''Now examine Homsar and you can control his swinging. Get him high enough and far enough out and he'll hit the controls for the fan, producing an amazing display of pyrotechnics and deactivating the fan!'''

With the fan offline, the fog machine will make a cloud right in the middle of the stage. The bats from before will fly into that cloud.

*''You can try to get to the manual release now, but the speaker blocks your path.''
*'''Examine the King of Town to introduce him to the crowd. He'll go a bit wild, knocking over the tub of butter with the lobster that is, for whatever reason, sitting on the stage.'''
*'''Grab the lobster.'''
*'''Use the lobster on the speaker's cable. He won't be strong enough to cut it, but the King of Town will suddenly notice and, in a gluttonous rage, he'll swing at the lobster with his axe-like guitar. That's enough to cut the cable, so the speaker falls to the stage. The lobster tries to use it to hide from the King of Town, and the King tries to hit it with his guitar. The crowd goes wild... But you still haven't revealed your coup de grace, so let's keep going.'''
*'''You can now reach the manual controls for your killer prop... but the fog and the bats are in the way, so you're not done yet.'''
*'''Grab the tub of butter, since the King is occupied with the lobster right now.'''
*'''Pour the butter into the fog machine. Now instead of creating ordinary everyday fog, it'll create a rich and creamy buttery fog — which will get all over the bats!'''

The bats will catch the King of Town's attention, and he'll jump after them to catch and eat them. This will send the crowd into an absolute frenzy and will cause you to win the Battle Royale. Of course, no one cares about your prop any more, and the King kinda upstaged you... but DÖI won, at any rate, so you got your prize money and can now afford Fun Machine repairs!

===Extended Play===
*''Homsar remains at the DÖI stage, allowing you to play the theremin minigame at will.''
*Playing the Wigglie record at Club Technochocolate will get you the back cover of the Limozeen game manual, complete with a signed photo of a real-life babelien!
**Playing the Wigglie record a second time will reveal its B-side and award you another Musical Moment, as will playing the "Slide to the Right" record.
*Talking to Strong Sad (hanging out in Strong Badia) will earn you the seventh and final Musical Moment.
*Talking to Coach Z (back at the Track) should reveal his brotherly relationship with Bubs - the tenth and final Expression of Affection.
*Get a score of 45000 or more in Limozeen's Hot Babelien Odyssey to increase your awesomeness rating.
*Obtaining all of the Collectibles, Costume Items, Musical Moments, Strong Bad Abuse, Expressions of Affection, and besting 45000 points in Hot Babelien Odyssey will earn you the highest rank, for which you will receive a special Limozeen t-shirt.

==Collectibles==
===Limozeen Mini Glasses===
There are four stylish Limozeen souvenir shot glasses scattered about featuring the likenesses of the band's long-haired members.
*Larry - Click on the Luxa Lounger in the Strongs' living room
*Perry - Use the Microphone outside the Strongs' house
*Gary - Use the Black Metal Detector outside Marzipan's house
*Mary - Click on the Dead Fish in the pond (after it has been bleached)

===Rare Band Posters===
Each of Free Country USA's musical acts has their own promotional poster. One might question the promotional value of the posters, however, considering how well each of them has been hidden from view.
*Two-O-Duo - Use the Metal Detector near Bubs' Concession Stand
*Cool Tapes - Click on the left locker at the Track
*PomStar - Use the Microphone at Club Technochocolate
*D.O.I. - Use the Metal Detector at the D.O.I. stage

===Limozeen H.B.O. Manual Pages===
Again, Strong Bad has managed to scatter to the winds the manual pages for his game-of-the-month, Limozeen's Hot Babelien Odyssey. These are always awarded in the same order: Front Cover, Dedication, Lyrics, and Back Cover.
*Use the light switch in Strong Bad's Lappy room
*Use the Microphone at the Cool Tapes stage
*Use the Metal Detector at the Two-O-Duo stage
*Use the "Doin' the Wigglie" record at Club Technochocolate in Extended Play

==Costume Items==
There are four items of clothing to be found in Baddest of the Bands, plus one bonus item and another hidden shirt.
*Sloshy shirt - Use the Microphone in the Strong's laundry room
*Leopard print pants - Click on the couch in the Strong's basement
*Chain boots - Use the Metal Detector near the picket fence in The Field
*Leopard headband - Use the Microphone near the brick wall in The Field
*Limozeen shirt - Awarded for obtaining the final rank of Impossibly Rocked Out
*Yellow creature shirt - As with the previous two episodes, walking underneath the doorway of the photo booth will cause Strong Bad to automatically wear a hidden shirt. Get beneath the booth floor by walking off the right edge three times while not wearing any costume items.

==Strong Bad Abuse==
Strong Bad seems to be a bit accident-prone this time around, finding himself physically assaulted by other characters and even inanimate objects.
*Click the Lappy's Plug
*Click the microwave in the Strong's kitchen
*Use the fake sword on Marzipan (Must be done before giving it to The Cheat)
*Talk to Strong Sad at the Battle of the Bands
*Use the bleach directly on the pond at the Battle of the Bands (Must be done before giving it to "Limozeen")

==Musical Moments==
Being a game centered around a Battle of the Bands, it just wouldn't be proper not to celebrate life's occasional (and often impromptu) musical interludes.
*Give Strong Mad an Entry Form (before getting Cool Tapes signed up)
*Give The Cheat an Entry Form (before getting Cool Tapes signed up)
*Give The Cheat an Entry Form a second time (before getting Cool Tapes signed up)
*Use the Boom Box option on Coach Z outside Marzipan's (before getting him to break Marzipan's window)
*Use the "Slide to the Right" record on the Technochocolate turntable in Extended Play
*Use the "Doin' the Wigglie" record on the turntable twice in Extended Play
*Talk to Strong Sad in Extended Play

==Expressions of Affection==
Even in the most cynical and antagonistic of worlds, people will still find ways to speak of love.
*Talk to Strong Sad about the bats twice (at the start of the game)
*Talk to Bubs about the Funmachine
*Talk to Coach Z about Marzipan twice (at the Track, before giving him the glossy)
*Have Marzipan make out a glossy to Strong Bad
*Have Marzipan make out a glossy to Coach Z
*Have Coach Z recite poetry for Marzipan (outside her house)
*Talk to the Limozeen standee about Two-O-Duo (before sabotaging them)
*Talk to the Drive-Thru Whale at the PomStar concert twice (before sabotaging them, and before inserting the coat hanger, or while the hanger is pointed away from anything)
*Sabotage Two-o-Duo, give both the whale and pond photos to Marzipan, and pick up the coloring book (but don't color it yet). Turn your hint level to "High" (in Options) and click randomly around the Two-o-Duo stage until Strong Bad mutters the hint "The Teen Girl Squad would love this..."
*Talk to Coach Z, at the track, three times after sabotaging Two-O-Duo (in Extended Play). Note: This can also be done by talking to him after sabotaging the Two-O Duo, but before PomStar has been.

==Limozeen's Hot Babelien Odyssey Score==
45,000 points are necessary to reach the maximum awesomeness level.

{{SBCG4AP}}
[[Category:Walkthroughs]]

Baddest of the Bands Walkthrough

2019-07-18T05:51:43Z

President Cold One: /* Strong Bad Abuse */

[[Image:Sbcg4ap103 strongbad.png|thumb|"Rock and roll, Strong Bad!"]]A walkthrough of ''[[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]] Episode 3: [[Baddest of the Bands]]''.

{{spoiler}}

==Legend==
A description of events will be written in plaintext.

*'''Mandatory actions will be bulleted and written in boldface.'''
*Actions that increase your awesomeness rating, but are not mandatory, will be bulleted and written in plaintext.
*''Optional actions that might help you understand the scene will be bulleted and written in italics.''

==Walkthrough==

===House of Strong===
Strong Bad sits down to play his new Limozeen game as the episode begins. Feel free to play it as far as you can... but you won't get far, because the Fun Machine will blow a fuse and the game will glitch up. Guess someone's got to fix it...

*''And that someone isn't Strong Sad. You can ask him about it, but he'll just tell you to go visit Bubs. And Bubs don't come cheap.''
*While you're here, though, be sure to nab your Metal Detector. You won't need it, but it'll help you dig up some bonus items.
*Go down to the basement and open your inventory. You'll notice that you have a microphone there, for no apparent reason. What this bad boy will do is make cardboard boxes appear out of nowhere, if you sing in the right place. Try it out and open the box that appears next to the washer to get a sloshy shirt.
*While you're downstairs, examine the couch to find your leopard print pants.
*Search the Luxa-lounger for a Limozeen collector's glass.
*'''Go to the kitchen and open up the fridge to find some aerosol cheese spray.'''
*Touch the microwave next to the fridge to get a, ahem, shocking surprise. Turns out you get awesomeness points for this. Go figure.
*'''Talk to Strong Mad and he'll mention that he's heading to Cool Tapes practice at Marzipan's.'''
*'''You can also nab the vandalized album sitting on Strong Mad's dresser. Hold on to it; it will be a useful reference later.'''
*'''Get your lighter from next to the Lappy, too.'''
*You can get zapped again by trying to unplug the Lappy.
*Flick the upper light switch to get the first page for the Limozeen game manual.
*''If you talk to Strong Sad, he'll tell you that he's going to become a snooty rock n' roll journalist, something Strong Bad can't seem to imagine.''
*Talking to Strong Sad twice about the bats should reveal that they love dank places, your first Expression of Affection.
*''There are other cool-looking and plot-necessary items in your brothers' rooms, but for now, they'll stop you from taking them. Oh, well.''
*Go outside and rock out with your microphone again. Open the box for another Limozeen shot glass.
*'''Open your map and add Marzipan's House to it. But head for Bubs' Concession Stand first.'''

'''Checkpoint:''' You should have the Fun Machine, Metal Detector, the Aerosol Cheese, the Vandalized Album, and the Lighter. Strong Bad will now be harmed twice. You also have two of the four costume items, two of four collector's glasses, one Limozeen game manual page, and one Expression of Affection.

===Bubs' Concession Stand===
*'''Give Bubs the Fun Machine. He'll fix it in exchange for a big sack of cash — one you currently lack.'''

{{Trophy|bronze|The High Cost of Repairs}}

At this point, Strong Bad gets the idea of running a Battle of the Bands. Not only will it be an awesome excuse to make a lot of noise, but he can use the profits on fixing his Fun Machine. Bubs is willing to help, but first things first. He needs a security officer and some celebrity judges. To help with the former, however, he hands you a security jacket. But who will wear it?

*'''Grab the paper on the side of the stand for help with the other half of the deal. Limozeen will spend the day with whoever can send in the coolest album picture! You already have some concept art (if you took it from Strong Mad's room), but you still need to make it a reality.'''
*'''Get the stencil next to the stand, too.'''
*'''Since you're here, wander through the Field to add all the locations to the map. Unlike in Homestar Ruiner, you're going to need to visit most of them sooner or later anyway.'''
*'''When you get to Strong Badia, put the stencil you just got on the fence. Use the aerosol cheese on the stencil to make it appear as though "SECURITY" is a hot new band. Strong Sad will come in, eager for news to help him in being a snooty rock journalist.'''
*'''Show Strong Sad the security jacket. He'll be convinced it's for a new hot band and put it on. '''

Strong Sad will run over and show it to Bubs, who assumes that Strong Sad is the head of security. Strong Sad gets confused and eventually gives in. Now you just need some celebrity judges. Maybe if you won that Limozeen album art contest...

Take a look at that album cover from Strong Mad's room. Strong Bad declares this the coolest album art ever. It involves a cool-looking car on fire with a star, a blonde in a bikini with a sword, and a dinosaur. If you can set up a photo like that, you'll be in business. And wouldn't you know, there's already a cool car in the area with a convenient oil slick around it!

*'''Go over to the Cool Car and set the oil slick on fire. It looks cool, but there's still a lot left to be done until it's contest-entry worthy.'''
*'''Walk to the right, and you'll eventually notice a stick (not THE Stick) with a starfish and a sign that says "Eat at Bubs". Grab the star and put it on the car. Now you've got the "imploding star" part.'''
*While you're in The Field, use the Detector in front of the fence and to the right of Bubs' Concession Stand to get the Hollywood Boulevard shoes and a Two-O Duo poster, respectively.
*Sing in front of the Brick Wall to make another cardboard box appear, which contains a headband.
*'''Head to Marzipan's house.'''

'''Checkpoint:''' In addition to the items you would have already used in the above, you should have the Limozeen Contest Flyer, all four costume items, and the Two-O Duo poster. You should have automatically gained a second Expression of Affection by talking to Bubs about the Fun Machine. You've lost the lighter, but it won't be as critical to your awesomeness this time around. The Fun Machine is gone too.

===Marzipan's===
We're really only here because Strong Mad won't leave the House of Strong until you see him here. But let's do a couple of extra things while we're here.

*'''Grab that Zen Rock from Marzipan's garden.'''
*Use the Detector outside her house to unearth another Limozeen shotglass.
*''If you want to know why the Cool Tapes are practicing, feel free to ask Marzipan. It involves white vegan bats. That's enough to disinterest Strong Bad.''
*'''Now that we've seen both brothers leave the house, time to head back to the House of Strong.'''

===House of Strong===
Without your brothers' interference, you can now filch all their stuff!

*'''From Strong Sad's room, take the camera and the bat hutch.'''
*'''From the bathroom, take the fake sword.'''
*'''From Strong Mad's room, take Poodonkis. It's in the left side of the closet.'''

'''Checkpoint:''' You should have the Zen Rock, Camera, Bat Hutch, Fake Sword, and Poodonkis. You should have three shot glasses, too.

So back to that album. You need a hot blonde with a sword, and now you have the sword...

*'''It's time to head to Marzipan's house to enlist the help of the hottest blonde around.'''

===Marzipan's===
*Oh, wait, did you think I meant Marzipan? Sorry, Strong Bad is physically incapable of speaking to her without insulting her. Try to give her the fake sword anyway; remember, you get awesomeness points for getting hurt.
*'''No, it's actually The Cheat that you need to offer the sword to.'''
*'''Head back to the Cool Car to complete your masterpiece.'''

'''Checkpoint:''' You'll have lost the sword, but you should have a third Strong Bad abuse point.

===Cool Car===
The Cheat, complete with a disturbing bikini, will already be here. Just one more finishing touch...

*'''Use Poodonkis on the car. Strong Bad will put him on the ground a distance away for perspective reasons.'''
*'''Now snap a picture with Strong Sad's camera. As if the scene wasn't already awesome enough, the Von Blaubloods (er, the bats) will fly in and circle around The Cheat, and Strong Bad will get an unbelievable stroke of luck in the way of awesome lighting. Now THAT is an album cover!'''
*'''Head back to the House of Strong.'''

===House of Strong===
*'''All you need to do now is mail in that picture. Strong Bad wins the contest!'''
*'''Head to Bubs' Concession Stand.'''

===Bubs' Concession Stand===
*'''From your inventory, use the letter from Limozeen on Bubs and the concert is on! He'll give you entry forms and tell you to hire three bands. He recommends Cool Tapes and talking to Pom Pom, but refuses to speak of his old duo with that "big green sellout," Coach Z.'''
{{Trophy|Bronze|We're Going To Put On A Show!}}

'''Checkpoint:''' You'll lose certain items you no longer need; notably, the Limozeen Flyer and the Vandalized Album. Poodonkis won't be in your inventory either, since you used him to set up the photo. What you will have now, however, are some entry forms to give to the bands.

*''Ask Bubs about the Two-O-Duo and he'll reminisce a bit about how he and Coach Z used to be real pranksters. He'll also give you his "DeButt" album. You don't need this, but it'll give hints on how to reunite the Two-O-Duo.''
*'''Open the map. Club Technochocolate and The Track will be added. Let's check out the Club first.'''

===Club Technochocolate===
Pom Pom is well-known for his keyboarding skills, and he's currently looking for a singer to join him. And Homestar is here too, hoping that he'll do well in an audition. On various tables throughout the club are various food items.

*''Pom Pom won't join your concert without a singer, and Homestar is strapped for cash. Better make sure Homestar passes the audition!''
*'''There's a slow cooker near Pom Pom, but it's empty right now. Seems like kind of a waste, with all this food around. Help Pom Pom out by spraying some aerosol cheese in there. It makes a surprisingly good fondue!'''
*'''On the farthest table is an album. Examine it to take it. Turns out that it's Pom Pom's hit, Food-Related Love.'''
*'''Put the record on the player in the DJ booth to prompt Homestar to start singing.'''

Unfortunately for Homestar, he's having trouble making good food-related rhymes. When he gets stuck, he'll talk about whatever he's focusing on. Help him out by standing near the food items that fit the rhyme (click on the item and Strong Bad will automatically move into position.)

*'''For the first line, stand by the Buffalo Wings.'''
*'''Think it's the escargot for the second line? Sorry, Homestar doesn't get it. Try the wine (the merlot) instead.'''
*'''The escargot (snails) work for the third line.'''
*'''And the final line will require that fondue. If you forgot to fill it before, you can quickly fill it before Homestar finishes the song.'''

Pom Pom will be impressed and will hire Homestar as a singer.

*'''Give Pom Pom an entry form for the Battle Royale. Homestar will talk him into signing up for it. You'll get the filled in entry form, but the check's in the mail. (Man, if you can't trust a known criminal with the word "Bad" in his name, who CAN you trust?)'''
*Walk near the bar and use the microphone to make a box appear. Inside the box is a Pom Pom poster.
*'''Let's visit Marzipan next.'''

'''Checkpoint:''' You should have the Two-O-Duo "DeButt" album and Pomstar's entry form. You should also have two out of the four Rare Band Posters.

===Marzipan's===
Marzipan's old aquarium gravel will be in a tipped-over box on the lawn. More on that later.

*''Marzipan won't agree to join your concert. Turns out it's the same day as the benefit concert.''
*'''There are some Cool Tapes pictures on the desk near Marzipan's answering machine. Take one.'''
*''You can have Marzipan autograph a picture, and she can make it out to various characters, each with a different response.''
*Having her sign one for Strong Bad will inspire her ire, but it will still count as a third Expression of Affection.
*'''She'll be hesitant about making one out to Coach Z, but you're going to need that one, and it will net you a fourth Expression of Affection to boot.'''
*'''Now head to the Track.'''

===The Track===
Well, actually, the Locker Room. You can't visit the track proper in this episode. But anyway, Coach Z is in a funk, stamping toilet paper (and just about everything else) to take his mind off his bad mood.

*''Ask him what's wrong, and he'll say that he's depressed over his unrequited stalk of Marzipan.''
*Talking to him about Marzipan a second time will tally up a fifth Expression of Affection.
*'''Show him the autographed picture. Coach Z will be thrilled and will head over to Marzipan's immediately.'''
*'''With Coach Z gone, you're free to rescue a roll of the toilet paper he was stamping from an unspeakable fate.'''
*'''There's also some bleach in the second locker.'''
*Also, in the locker to the left of the one where the bleach is contained, there is a Cool Tapes poster.
*'''And there's a conspicuous bent-out-of-shape hanger in the showers.'''
*'''Head to Strong Bad's house next.'''

'''Checkpoint:''' You should now have added Toilet Paper, Bleach, and the Hanger to your inventory. You should also have 3 out of 4 of the Rare Band Posters and five Expressions of Affection.

===House of Strong===
Marzipan won't join your concert because of some endangered white bats. Well, what if they weren't so endangered? Would she change her mind?

*'''Go to the basement and throw the bat hutch and some bleach into the washer.'''
*'''Kick the washer to get it running. The bats will miraculously survive, and wind up just as white as the bat sitting in Marzipan's house.'''
*'''Time to head back to Marzipan's.'''

===Marzipan's===
Coach Z will be here. He's trying to get Marzipan's attention, but it's not going well.

*''You can ask him to try various methods to get attention.''
**Suggesting he use the Boom Box won't work for him, but will award you with a Musical Moment.
**Encouraging him to recite poetry won't work either, but knocks out a sixth Expression of Affection.
**''You can also get him to throw pebbles at her window, but this too will be unsuccessful.''
*''Check out the Two-O-Duo album. One of the tracks is "Throwin' Rocks through Ol' Man Marzipan's Windows". That sounds like a pro-Strong-Bad idea! And Coach Z is throwing pebbles already, but they lack the requisite oomph.''
*'''Drop the Zen Rock into the pile of pebbles.'''
*'''Now suggest that Coach Z throw pebbles again. Only this time, he'll throw the not-exactly-pebblish Zen Rock and make a not-exactly-pebblish hole in the window. Marzipan will be not-exactly-pleased, but Bubs will conveniently walk by and reminisce a little.'''
*Show an entry form to Strong Mad, inspiring Marzipan to sing a little song, earning you another Musical Moment.
*Showing an entry form to The Cheat (twice) will recall an unfortunate previous promotional deal, and award you with a Musical Moment both times.
*'''Anyway, show Marzipan your mock-albino bats and she'll be thrilled. She'll even set her own bat free to fly among its kin, and cancel her previous gig!'''
**''If you give Marzipan the bats before Coach Z throws the rock, the sequence will play out slightly differently.''
*'''Now give her an entry form. Though she doesn't like Limozeen much, she signs up! But she doesn't trust Strong Bad with money either, so again, check's in the mail.'''

'''Checkpoint:''' You won't have the Bat Hutch or Zen Rock any more. You will, however, have the Cool Tapes entry form, four Musical Moments, and six Expressions of Affection.

*''Back to that Two-O-Duo album, the other tracks are "Stealin' Stuff from My Own Store" and "Let's T.P. The Stick". Well, Bubs liked the results the last time you did what an album track said!''
*'''Head for The Stick.'''

===The Stick===
*'''This one's easy: just throw the toilet paper on The Stick to decorate it. Since Coach Z stamped the toilet paper, he'll be the one to take the blame.'''
*'''Bubs' Concession Stand is the next target. You can walk there or just zip there with your map.'''

===Bubs' Concession Stand===
Hey, one of Bubs' old records is just sitting out asking to be stolen! Not as simple as it seems, though: this one has kind of an esoteric solution.

*'''Try to take the album. Oops, Bubs installed a security robot, which will yell at you and summon Bubs over. Take the alarm that's flashing over the robot. That's right, the alarm, not the record.'''
*''You can try to take the record, but Bubs has superglued it to the counter. Whatever, you didn't want that cheap imitation diamond plated record any dang way.''
*'''Now to put the alarm somewhere that will make Bubs think Coach Z did it. And where better than his office? Head for The Track.'''

===The Track===
*'''Put the alarm in Coach Z's office. Bubs will use his homing beacon to find the alarm, again believing Coach Z did it.
*'''Head back to Bubs' Concession Stand.'''

'''Checkpoint:''' This will be the last checkpoint before a lot of areas become inaccessible until Extended Play, so make sure there's nothing left you want to do right now! You won't have the Toilet Paper any more, but as long as Bubs has agreed to rejoin Coach Z, you've got your third band!

===Bubs' Concession Stand===
*'''Talk to Bubs about Two-O-Duo. They're back together now, and Bubs has already taken care of the paperwork.'''
*'''Give him the entry forms for the other two bands. You're now in business!'''

Okay, so I have some good news, some bad news, some awesome news, and some awful news. Good news? You're making a profit from your concert! Bad news? It's not enough to repair the FunMachine. Awesome news? Strong Bad realizes that he can join the concert himself and use the prize money to make up the rest of the repairs! Awful news? Every competent or even halfway-competent musician is already performing in a band. Only the King of Town and Homsar remain.

Yikes.

===Strong Bad's Stage===
After some offscreen and probably very montagey practice, Strong Bad will ask his bandmates to help him name the band.

*'''Each of the three characters will have five unmarked choices appear; select whatever you like. The choices are, in order:'''
**'''Strong Bad:'''
**# Diamond
**# Devastating
**# Deluxe
**# Degenerate
**# Demonic
**'''The King of Town:'''
**# Octopus
**# Omelette
**# Oyster
**# Oatmeal
**# Oliveloaf
**'''Homsar:'''
**# Itch Machine
**# Iguanodon
**# Insurance
**# Incorporated
**# Insomniacs

*'''After all three characters have said their part of the band name, you can pick the "Angel" option to go with it, or the "Devil" option to do the whole thing over. The band name doesn't matter, so just accept it when you're satisfied. The band's initials will always be DÖI, however.'''

The band will start rocking — with pretty miserable results. Homsar and the King of Town just weren't made for rock concerts. DÖI is way behind in the rankings, too. Strong Bad quickly realizes that the only way he's going to win this concert is if everyone else is sabotaged! Fortunately, sabotage is something Strong Bad excels at.

All the old areas except the House of Strong (and The Track, if you forgot to pick up the hanger from in there) will be removed from the map for now. In their place will be the stages for all four bands. Also, your main inventory has been cleared of everything except the Microphone, Metal Detector, Bleach, Camera, and Hanger. You don't need any of the other items any more, though.

All of the stages will have a cardboard cutout of Limozeen next to them.

*''Examine the cardboard cutout. Turns out that THIS was what was meant by the contest. They'll still happily judge your concert via webcam, luckily. Or not so luckily, given that they don't approve of DÖI's... unique style at all.''
*'''There's a coloring book next to the cutout, too. Who doesn't like coloring books? Take it.'''
*Use the dectector near the D.O.I. banner. You'll find a...D.O.I. Poster?! Strong Bad then gives his approval.
*'''Head for the Cool Tapes stage first.'''

===Cool Tapes Stage===
Their practice has paid off. The Cool Tapes are quite the experienced band, and their music proves it. Homestar, Bubs, and Limozeen strongly approve! Which means nothing good for DÖI, so you're going to have to do something about their approval rating.

*''Talk to "Limozeen". They'll say that they love Cool Tapes' music, but they wish she wasn't so preachy. On cue, Marzipan will speak up against harming sea mammals, destroying wetlands, and exploiting women. If she gets too preachy, she might lose her Limozeen support.''
*'''You'll want that billy club leaning next to the stage. Strong Sad doesn't mind if you take it. He does, however, mind the years of abuse he's suffered at your hands, and now that he has the power, he'll make sure to remind you. But, hey, at least you got the club, right?'''
*Unfortunately, that time doesn't count to your abuse meter. Talk to Strong Sad again in order to get harmed.
*Use the microphone here to conjure a box containing the dedication page of the Limozeen game manual.
*'''Check out Pomstar's Stage next.'''

'''Checkpoint:''' Strong Bad's been harmed four times now, but you'll have the Coloring Book and the Billy Club. You should also have two Limozeen game manual pages and all 4 Rare Band posters.

===Pomstar Stage===
What's going on here? Homestar is being suave and charming, careful with his words, AND wearing silly headphones?!! Something's fishy - and it's high-time we found, gutted and deep-fried that fish.

*''Try talking to Pom Pom. He'll snap at you, and Homestar will repeat what Pom Pom apparently says. Odd...''
*''How about talking to Strong Sad? He'll zap you again (which won't count extra toward your awesomeness, as he already zapped you once), and then speak into his walkie-talkie. Again, Homestar will repeat what Strong Sad says.''

Aha! Pom Pom must be feeding his lines to Homestar through those headphones! The nerve of him! Cheating! I'd say two could play at that game... only you were planning on doing that anyway, weren't you?

*''This stage was set up near the Drive-Thru Whale. Talk to the Whale to hear some nonsense, which will only serve to annoy Marzipan and Coach Z. If only you could get Homestar to repeat the whale's words! Oh, and the spout is missing. If you had spoken to the Whale in The Field, you'd know why.''
*Talking to the Drive-Thru Whale a second time will check off a seventh Expression of Affection.
*'''Put the hanger into the whale's now-evacuated blowhole to form a makeshift antenna.'''
*'''Examine the antenna to turn it. Make sure it's pointed toward the stage.'''
*'''Now talk to the whale. Homestar will repeat the nonsense that the whale says, turning off the crowd. Without a suave singer, Pomstar no longer stands a chance! One down, two to go.'''
*'''While we're here, remember how Marzipan disliked the mistreatment of marine mammals? See that arm on the Limozeen cutout? Put the Billy Club in that arm and it will look like they're hitting the whale.'''
*'''Marzipan's not paying attention, though, so snap a picture of them.'''
*'''Give the picture to Marzipan. She'll be miffed, but will try to contain her emotions.'''
*'''Let's check out the Two-O-Duo's act next.'''

===Two-O-Duo Stage===
Pom Pom, The Cheat, and Limozeen are all enjoying the performance, to Strong Bad's annoyance.

*Talk to Limozeen to see what they like about the Duo. Turns out that the music isn't that stellar, but Coach Z's dance steps are more than cool enough to make up for it. This counts as the eighth Expression of Affection.
*''Check out the records on the edge of the stage. You can rearrange them, and after you leave, Coach Z will do dance steps in the order indicated by the songs.''
**''Left Shift-Alt-Delete: Coach Z will dance to his left.''
**''Roll Wit' 'Da Punches: Coach Z will do a rolling hand move that resembles punches.''
**''Slide to the Right Y'all Bridesmaids: Coach Z will dance to his right.''
**''Doin the Wigglie: Coach Z will do a wiggling dance.''
*''None of the orders will do much to disrupt their groove. Coach Z will reject any dance maneuvers that send him off the stage, and you can't really do much else with this selection.''
*Try dumping the bleach into the pond by the stage. This will bring back painful (albeit awesome) memories of Marzipan's wrath — after all, she's against the destruction of wetlands, remember? — so Strong Bad will refuse to do it. If only you had someone else to take the blame...
*'''Give the bleach bottle to "Limozeen". They'll unwittingly dump the bleach into the pond, killing the fish within.'''
*'''Since Marzipan is nowhere to be found, let's get a picture of this one too.'''
*Poke the dead fish to receive the Mary shot glass.
*Use the metal detector to unearth the lyrics page of the Limozeen game manual.
*'''Head home next.'''

'''Checkpoint:''' You should have a picture of Limozeen dumping bleach into the pond, though you won't have the Bleach or the Billy Club any more. Thanks to Strong Bad's memory, he'll have been hurt five times now, and you should have three pages of the Limozeen game manual and eight Expressions of Affection.

===House of Strong===

*'''Some of Strong Sad's old records are here. Specifically, "Hugo Left Me Miserable" and "The Three O'Clock Twist". Those should come in handy!'''
*'''Let's go see if these new records will help us out with the Two-O-Duo.'''

===Two-O-Duo Stage===
You've got two extra records now, one that makes Coach Z dance left and one that will make him turn ninety degrees. Coach Z still won't do anything as dumb as dance off the stage, but perhaps you can make him do something else that's dumb instead.

*'''Switch out "Doin The Wigglie" and "Slide to the Right" for the two songs you got from the House of Strong.'''
*'''Arrange the songs so that one of the "Left" songs is first, then "The Three O'Clock Twist", then the other "Left" song, and finally "Roll Wit' 'Da Punches".

As a result of your tampering, Coach Z will accidentally dance right up next to Bubs... and hit him in the face! Bubs is so angry at him that he storms offstage. Coach Z can't save himself with his rapping alone, so they drop in the standings too!

With the Duo out of the way, let's go have some words with Cool Tapes' lead singer, Marzipan, over at the Pomstar stage.

===Pomstar Stage===
*'''Give Marzipan the picture from the Duo's stage, further damaging her opinion of Limozeen.'''

===Two-O-Duo Stage===
*To obtain the ninth Expression of Affection, take this opportunity to turn your Hint level to High in Options and head back to the stage of the now-disgraced Two-O-Duo. Clicking randomly around for a bit should lead to Strong Bad eventually hinting that the Teen Girl Squad would love the Duo's stage setup.

===House of the Brothers Strong===
*'''Head on over to the TGS drawing table in Strong Bad's room. Forget notecards with TGS ideas buried in random places, use the coloring book and check out Strong Bad's latest creation: "Teen Girl Squad Meets LIMOZEEN!"'''

===Pomstar Stage===
*'''Finally, give Marzipan the coloring book. She'll now be thoroughly infuriated with Limozeen and will dedicate her next song to trashing them. Of course, insulting judges is never a good way to win competitions, so Cool Tapes' score will plummet.'''
Unfortunately, even with all this sabotage, all three bands are still doing better than DÖI! Time to up the ante. Strong Bad promises good things when he unveils his secret weapon to be revealed with the button in the corner of his stage...

'''Checkpoint:''' You'll still have the two records you stole from Bubs, but no more Coloring Book. No picture either, though you will have nine Expressions of Affection.

===DÖI Stage===
*''Surprise, surprise. The red button doesn't work. The allegedly amazing prop you promised will have to be revealed manually.''
*''But if you try to head toward the ladder to get to the top of the stage, you'll discover that the fan is on so strong that you can't reach it! And worse still, the controls for the fan are, themselves, on the ceiling!''
*'''What you CAN do is try to grab that German helmet on the hatrack. You'll just barely grab it before the wind blows you back... and unintentionally makes you do a cool slide across the floor.'''
*'''Give the hat to Homsar.'''
*'''Now examine Homsar and you can control his swinging. Get him high enough and far enough out and he'll hit the controls for the fan, producing an amazing display of pyrotechnics and deactivating the fan!'''

With the fan offline, the fog machine will make a cloud right in the middle of the stage. The bats from before will fly into that cloud.

*''You can try to get to the manual release now, but the speaker blocks your path.''
*'''Examine the King of Town to introduce him to the crowd. He'll go a bit wild, knocking over the tub of butter with the lobster that is, for whatever reason, sitting on the stage.'''
*'''Grab the lobster.'''
*'''Use the lobster on the speaker's cable. He won't be strong enough to cut it, but the King of Town will suddenly notice and, in a gluttonous rage, he'll swing at the lobster with his axe-like guitar. That's enough to cut the cable, so the speaker falls to the stage. The lobster tries to use it to hide from the King of Town, and the King tries to hit it with his guitar. The crowd goes wild... But you still haven't revealed your coup de grace, so let's keep going.'''
*'''You can now reach the manual controls for your killer prop... but the fog and the bats are in the way, so you're not done yet.'''
*'''Grab the tub of butter, since the King is occupied with the lobster right now.'''
*'''Pour the butter into the fog machine. Now instead of creating ordinary everyday fog, it'll create a rich and creamy buttery fog — which will get all over the bats!'''

The bats will catch the King of Town's attention, and he'll jump after them to catch and eat them. This will send the crowd into an absolute frenzy and will cause you to win the Battle Royale. Of course, no one cares about your prop any more, and the King kinda upstaged you... but DÖI won, at any rate, so you got your prize money and can now afford Fun Machine repairs!

===Extended Play===
*''Homsar remains at the DÖI stage, allowing you to play the theremin minigame at will.''
*Playing the Wigglie record at Club Technochocolate will get you the back cover of the Limozeen game manual, complete with a signed photo of a real-life babelien!
**Playing the Wigglie record a second time will reveal its B-side and award you another Musical Moment, as will playing the "Slide to the Right" record.
*Talking to Strong Sad (hanging out in Strong Badia) will earn you the seventh and final Musical Moment.
*Talking to Coach Z (back at the Track) should reveal his brotherly relationship with Bubs - the tenth and final Expression of Affection.
*Get a score of 45000 or more in Limozeen's Hot Babelien Odyssey to increase your awesomeness rating.
*Obtaining all of the Collectibles, Costume Items, Musical Moments, Strong Bad Abuse, Expressions of Affection, and besting 45000 points in Hot Babelien Odyssey will earn you the highest rank, for which you will receive a special Limozeen t-shirt.

==Collectibles==
===Limozeen Mini Glasses===
There are four stylish Limozeen souvenir shot glasses scattered about featuring the likenesses of the band's long-haired members.
*Larry - Click on the Luxa Lounger in the Strongs' living room
*Perry - Use the Microphone outside the Strongs' house
*Gary - Use the Black Metal Detector outside Marzipan's house
*Mary - Click on the Dead Fish in the pond (after it has been bleached)

===Rare Band Posters===
Each of Free Country USA's musical acts has their own promotional poster. One might question the promotional value of the posters, however, considering how well each of them has been hidden from view.
*Two-O-Duo - Use the Metal Detector near Bubs' Concession Stand
*Cool Tapes - Click on the left locker at the Track
*PomStar - Use the Microphone at Club Technochocolate
*D.O.I. - Use the Metal Detector at the D.O.I. stage

===Limozeen H.B.O. Manual Pages===
Again, Strong Bad has managed to scatter to the winds the manual pages for his game-of-the-month, Limozeen's Hot Babelien Odyssey. These are always awarded in the same order: Front Cover, Dedication, Lyrics, and Back Cover.
*Use the light switch in Strong Bad's Lappy room
*Use the Microphone at the Cool Tapes stage
*Use the Metal Detector at the Two-O-Duo stage
*Use the "Doin' the Wigglie" record at Club Technochocolate in Extended Play

==Costume Items==
There are four items of clothing to be found in Baddest of the Bands, plus one bonus item and another hidden shirt.
*Sloshy shirt - Use the Microphone in the Strong's laundry room
*Leopard print pants - Click on the couch in the Strong's basement
*Chain boots - Use the Metal Detector near the picket fence in The Field
*Leopard headband - Use the Microphone near the brick wall in The Field
*Limozeen shirt - Awarded for obtaining the final rank of Impossibly Rocked Out
*Yellow creature shirt - As with the previous two episodes, walking underneath the doorway of the photo booth will cause Strong Bad to automatically wear a hidden shirt. Get beneath the booth floor by walking off the right edge three times while not wearing any costume items.

==Strong Bad Abuse==
Strong Bad seems to be a bit accident-prone this time around, finding himself physically assaulted by other characters and even inanimate objects.
*Click the Lappy's Plug
*Click the microwave in the Strong's kitchen
*Use the fake sword on Marzipan (Must be done before giving it to The Cheat)
*Talk to Strong Sad at the Battle of the Bands
*Use the bleach directly on the pond at the Battle of the Bands (Must be done before giving it to "Limozeen")

==Musical Moments==
Being a game centered around a Battle of the Bands, it just wouldn't be proper not to celebrate life's occasional (and often impromptu) musical interludes.
*Give Strong Mad an Entry Form
*Give The Cheat an Entry Form
*Give The Cheat an Entry Form a second time
*Use the Boom Box option on Coach Z outside Marzipan's
*Use the "Slide to the Right" record on the Technochocolate turntable in Extended Play
*Use the "Doin' the Wigglie" record on the turntable twice in Extended Play
*Talk to Strong Sad in Extended Play

==Expressions of Affection==
Even in the most cynical and antagonistic of worlds, people will still find ways to speak of love.
*Talk to Strong Sad about the bats twice (at the start of the game)
*Talk to Bubs about the Funmachine
*Talk to Coach Z about Marzipan twice (at the Track, before giving him the glossy)
*Have Marzipan make out a glossy to Strong Bad
*Have Marzipan make out a glossy to Coach Z
*Have Coach Z recite poetry for Marzipan (outside her house)
*Talk to the Limozeen standee about Two-O-Duo (before sabotaging them)
*Talk to the Drive-Thru Whale at the PomStar concert twice (before sabotaging them, and before inserting the coat hanger, or while the hanger is pointed away from anything)
*Sabotage Two-o-Duo, give both the whale and pond photos to Marzipan, and pick up the coloring book (but don't color it yet). Turn your hint level to "High" (in Options) and click randomly around the Two-o-Duo stage until Strong Bad mutters the hint "The Teen Girl Squad would love this..."
*Talk to Coach Z, at the track, three times after sabotaging Two-O-Duo (in Extended Play). Note: This can also be done by talking to him after sabotaging the Two-O Duo, but before PomStar has been.

==Limozeen's Hot Babelien Odyssey Score==
45,000 points are necessary to reach the maximum awesomeness level.

{{SBCG4AP}}
[[Category:Walkthroughs]]

Let us give TANKS!

2019-07-18T02:25:21Z

President Cold One: /* Fun Facts */

{{toonnav|Holiday Toon|ccdo5|Fan Costumes '06|Decemberween Short Shorts}}
[[Image:Let Us Give Tanks.PNG|thumb|"I can never tell you two apart!"]]
Blue Laser invites the Cheat Commandos to Thanksgiving dinner.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' [[Green Helmets]], {{film|Gunhaver}}, {{film|Silent Rip}}, {{film|Reinforcements}}, {{film|Crackotage}}, {{film|Reynold}}, {{film|Firebert}}, {{film|Fightgar}}, {{film|Blue Laser Minion}}, {{film|Blue Laser Commander}}, {{Film|Ripberger}}, [[Oliver Smidgen]], [[Reynold's Brother]]

'''Places:''' [[Cheat Commandos HQ]], [[Blue Laser Cottage]], [[Reynold's Parents' House]]

'''Date:''' Tuesday, November 21, 2006

'''Running Time:''' 5:00

'''Page Title:''' A Very Tremendous Chimendez Thanksgiving

{{dvd|Everything Else, Volume 3}}

==Transcript==
''{The title appears — ''"LET US GIVE TANKS!!" written by A. Chimendez'' — over a shot of the Cheat Commando base in red, orange, yellow, and brown hills in the background and falling leaves. Light, percussive music plays.}''

''{Gunhaver and Silent Rip are in front of the control panel and video screen, watching shaky video of three Cheat Commandos being assaulted by blue lasers and explosions on a smoky, war-torn landscape.}''

'''GREEN HELMET:''' We're taking heavy losses, sir. They've got us pinned down! We really need—

''{The video image is interrupted by the Blue Las-alert siren and a yellow and orange screen with the text, "Thanksgiving Break Alert".}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' All right! Thanksgiving break!

''{The screen fades through static back to the Cheat Commandos.}''

'''GREEN HELMET:''' But sir! We could really use some—

''{Gunhaver turns off the monitor and turns to Silent Rip.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' I ''love'' Thanksgiving break!

''{Focus on Silent Rip.}''

'''SILENT RIP:''' Uh, shouldn't we go help him?

''{Cut out to include Gunhaver, along with Reinforcements and Crackotage.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' Naw, he's just one of those green helmets. We got like fifty of them. So, what's everybody doing for the holiday?

''{Shift to Reynold.}''

'''REYNOLD:''' I'm going to stay at my parents' house! If they haven't rented out my room... again... to my brother.

''{Gunhaver salutes the Cheat Commandos as they leave.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' Well, have a good time, soldiers. I'll just be here in case Blue Laser tries to blow up over-the-river-and-through-the-woods... so that no one to grandmother's house... can go.

''{Shift to a small cottage in the autumn woods with a gravel path and smoke rising out of the stone chimney. Transition music plays.}''

''{Cut to the inside of the cottage. A Blue Laser minion is preparing a turkey in the kitchen. Blue Laser Commander enters, brandishing a meat fork.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' I thought I told you to fiendishly dice the evil onions!

'''BLUE LASER MINION 1:''' No sir.

''{Pan to a second Blue Laser Minion chopping onions with fiendish faces drawn on them on the counter.}''

'''BLUE LASER MINION 2:''' That was me, sir.

''{Pan back to Blue Laser Commander.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' I can never tell you two apart! Yah! ''{Hurls the meat fork into the offscreen minion's eye.}''

'''BLUE LASER MINION 2:''' Ow!

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' There! Now you're the one with the fork stuck in your eye!

''{The door crashes open and Fightgar, Firebert, and Silent Rip enter, armed with guns.}''

'''FIGHTGAR:''' Sorry Blue Laser — the only thanks ''you'll'' be giving is getting shot by us with our bullet-shooting guns!

''{Blue Laser Commander approaches the Cheat Commandos.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' ''WHAT?!''

'''FIGHTGAR:''' Aw, just kiddin'. ''{Smiles, along with Firebert.}'' Thanks for havin' us over!

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' ''{laughs and smiles}'' You really had me going for a second there. Get in here, you guys!

''{Fightgar, Firebert, and Silent Rip enter, followed by Ripberger.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' Ripberger, you made it! ''{Ripberger stops at the door}'' I thought you were only available for a limited time with three proofs of purchase!

'''RIPBERGER:''' I brought some ambrosia salad! ''{displays the salad}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' Uh! Where's Gunhaver?!

''{Cut to Fightgar and Silent Rip.}''

'''SILENT RIP:''' ''{scratching his head}'' Uh, we kinda didn't give him your invitation. Gunhaver has a bit of a hard time cutting loose.

''{Cut to Gunhaver in the Cheat Commandos base, saluting a flag labeled "The Flag" which is being blown by a fan.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' Forty-seven! Forty-eight! Forty-nine! Fifty! C'mon Gunhaver, you maggot! Give me fifty more! One! Two! Three!

''{Cut back to the cottage, with Blue Laser Commander and Fightgar at a table with plates, the turkey, and yams with marshmallows.}''

'''FIGHTGAR:''' Uh... I guess... Claude Monet, and um... Manchester United!

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' That's good, that's good! Now what about you, Silent Rip?

''{Pan over to Silent Rip.}''

'''SILENT RIP:''' I'm thankful for this bountiful Blue Laser Thanksgiving action playset!

''{A "ding" noise is heard and the words "CHEAP AS FREE" appear in a cloud bubble in the corner.}''

''{Cut to Crackotage.}''

'''CRACKOTAGE:''' I'm thankful for the gift of rhyme!!

''{Cut to Ripberger.}''

'''RIPBERGER:''' Ambrosia salad!

''{Cut back to Crackotage.}''

'''CRACKOTAGE:''' I'm also thankful for this lime! ''{holds up a lime}'' Hibbety-jeebity!

''{Cuts to Blue Laser Commander.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' Plutonium at closeout prices!

''{Cut to a Blue Laser minion.}''

'''BLUE LASER MINION:''' I'm thankful I don't have a fork in my eye, sir.

''{Cut back to Blue Laser Commander.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' My Nana's new hip!

''{Cut to the Blue Laser minion with a fork stuck through his visor into his eye.}''

'''BLUE LASER MINION WITH FORK IN EYE:''' I'm... thankful for this fork in my eye.

''{Cuts to Gunhaver, facing the camera in front of the control panel.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' So I exchanged it for something of lesser value, and they gave me the rest in store credit!

''{Cut to reveal him standing in front of the video monitor with the Cheat Commando green helmet onscreen.}''

'''GREEN HELMET:''' That's great, sir. A real value. But we could really use some air support!

'''GUNHAVER:''' Yeah, I should go too. Gotta check in on Blue Laser.

'''GREEN HELMET:''' Please, NO—

''{Gunhaver brings up the Blue Laser cottage on the video monitor, showing Blue Laser Commander, Fightgar, Silent Rip, and a Blue Laser minion at the table with the turkey.}''

'''FIGHTGAR:''' Ambros-er-a salad... sayin' right, right, right, right...

'''GUNHAVER:''' Tight buns! Blue Laser's captured the Cheat Commandos and is forcing them to sit down to a delicious meal and pleasant conversation! Hang on, boys. Daddy Gunhavvy's on his way! ''{walks away from the monitor}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' But I'm ''not'' thankful for that guy over there with the camera!

''{Cut to Reinforcements, who is using a camera and lights to record the Thanksgiving dinner.}''

'''REINFORCEMENTS:''' Hey, guys.

''{Focus on Silent Rip and Blue Laser Commander.}''

'''SILENT RIP:''' Uh-oh. You know what ''that'' means.

''{Cuts to Fightgar.}''

'''FIGHTGAR:''' It won't be long before...

''{Gunhaver pops out of the turkey holding a handgun. The Cheat Commandos theme music plays in the background.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' Gobble, gobble... you're in trobble!

'''CRACKOTAGE:''' ''{offscreen}'' Hey, that's not bad!

''{Cut to Blue Laser Commander.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' Gunhaver! You actually have a gun!

''{Cut back to Gunhaver, with the silhouettes of two Cheat Commandos in the foreground.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' Cheat Commandos, run! For cover! ''{camera zooms in}'' Blue Laser is clearly trying to have you all over for dinner!

''{Cut to Silent Rip.}''

'''SILENT RIP:''' Uh, yeah! He invited you too. But we didn't tell you because we were afraid you'd do something like this!

''{Cut back to Gunhaver.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' And I did! The Cheat Commandos win again!

''{Cut to Blue Laser Commander.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' Well, since you're here... ''{clasps his hands together}'' Play us a song, won't you, Charles?

''{Pan past several Cheat Commandos, all murmuring in agreement}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' A—a song? No, I couldn't possibly... it's been so long, I...

''{Cut back to Gunhaver, with a small, dirty Cheat Commando wearing a cap behind him.}''

'''OLIVER SMIDGEN:''' Won't you play us a song, Gun'aver?

'''GUNHAVER:''' All right, you talked me into it. One song!

''{Cut to Gunhaver sitting at a black upright piano with the Cheat Commandos and Blue Laser gathered around.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' This is one everybody knows, so give me a hand, boys. ''{begins playing the piano and singing}'' Buy all our playsets and...

'''CHEAT COMMANDOS AND BLUE LASER:''' Ooh!

'''GUNHAVER:''' ''{singing}'' Buy all our playsets and...

''{Ripberger descends upside-down from the ceiling.}''

'''CHEAT COMMANDOS AND BLUE LASER:''' Ah!

'''GUNHAVER:''' ''{singing}'' Buy all our playsets and...

'''ALL:''' ''{singing}'' Toys!

''{Pan past Fightgar, Silent Rip, and the Blue Laser minion with the fork in his eye. Focus on the piano keys, on which Gunhaver is playing diddy tune of the Cheat Commandos theme song, and then cut back to everyone in front of the piano.}''

'''ALL:''' Yeah!

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' A holiday classic!

''{Smoke begins wafting through the the room.}''

'''SILENT RIP:''' Uh, what's that smell?

'''FIGHTGAR:''' How should I know? You're the one called Silent Rip!

'''GUNHAVER:''' That's all me. I stuck a nuclear device in the oven in case I didn't make it out of here alive! ''{several of the attendees open their mouths in surprise}''

''{Cut to Reynold's room, with his brother playing video games. There are several speakers in the room; the one in the foreground is pulsating as it plays music. The Blue Laser cottage can be seen outside the window with smoke rising from it.}''

'''MUSIC:''' ''No one understands me! No one understands me!''

''{Reynold enters the room, covering his ears.}''

'''REYNOLD:''' Will you turn that noise down?!

'''REYNOLD'S BROTHER:''' You're so lame.

'''MUSIC:''' ''No one understands me... but YOU!''

''{The Blue Laser cottage explodes in a mushroom cloud at the end of the song and the glass window of Reynold's room shatters.}''

''{Cut to a picture of Gunhaver coming out of the turkey, with the message, "Happy Thanksgiving! from those Cheat Commandos". The "Buy all our playsets and toys" music plays, without lyrics.}''

==Easter Eggs==
*At the end, click on "Cheat Commandos" to see Oliver Smidgen and Reynold's brother's action figures.
*At the end, click on the turkey drumstick to see Blue Laser order around a minion. 
*:'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' ''{Holding a plate of food}'' I need you to take this plate of food, make a milkshake out of it, and spread it on Nana's gums for her! 
*:'''BLUE LASER MINION:''' I'm going to go ahead and disobey a direct order, sir. 
*:'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' Understandable!

==Fun Facts==

===Explanations===
*The "Green Helmets" are minor, expendable characters added so "heroes" can die without losing any members of the main cast. Such characters are frequently called "[[Wikipedia:Redshirt (character)|Redshirts]]", due to the fact that such characters in [[Wikipedia:Star Trek|Star Trek]] usually wore red shirts; in G.I. Joe, they were called "[[Wikipedia:Greenshirts (G.I. Joe)|Greenshirts]]".
*[[Wikipedia:Ambrosia (fruit salad)|Ambrosia salad]] is a fruit salad variation that contains sour cream, whipped cream, mandarin oranges, pineapple, and coconut. Some variations also contain bananas, strawberries, or miniature marshmallows.
*Oliver's pronunciation of Gunhaver as "Gun'aver" is a play on "Guv'nor," a term of British origin used to refer to a person of higher social status.

===Trivia===
*Crackotage's "Hey, that's not bad!" line is the first time he is heard not attempting to conclude what he says with a rhyme.
*This toon contains a fairly rare appearance of an actual [[Guns|handgun]].
*The [[YouTube]] description for this toon is "The Cheat Commandos are invited to Thanksgiving dinner with Blue Laser."

===Remarks===
*The leaves at the beginning fall ''in front of'' the [[Wikipedia:character generator|character-generated]] title.
*Gunhaver is shown playing C E F B♭ F E. The notes heard are G G A B♭ A G.
*In action figure form, Reynold's brother still has cartoon-style eyes, although it may be because of his disgruntled facial expression.
*When Fightgar enters Blue Laser Cottage, he threatens Blue Laser Commander with "bullet-shooting guns." The Cheat Commando weapons normally fire lasers.
*Reynold's brother's box says he is a child of the '90s, meaning he is somewhere between age 6 and age 16 at the time of the toon's release.
*If you look closely at [[Gunhaver's gun]] when he bursts out of the turkey, the lines are not properly drawn as one of them is at a slightly awkward angle.
*During the song, [[Ripberger]]'s mouth doesn't move. However, his body moves as though he is singing.
*The fork in the injured Blue Laser Minion's eye switches eyes depending on which direction he is facing. This is due to the fact that each character simply [[Flipped Images|flips horizontally]] when facing a different direction, rather than being redrawn.

===Fixed Goofs===
[[Image:Cheat Commandos Lime No Decend.PNG|thumb| I'm also thankful for this floating lime! Hibbety-jeebity!]]
*Crackotage's arm originally went down after showing the lime, but the lime didn't descend with his arm. This was fixed by removing the downwards arm movement. 

===Inside References===
*The Lil' Steiny piano is a reference to [[Strong Badman Characters#Stiny|Stiny]]'s nickname, Li'l Stiny, from [[superhero name]]. ''(See also: Real-World References)''
*The page title refers to [[A. Chimendez]].
*This is another instance of [[blood]] in a cartoon.
*This is another instance of [[Cheap as Free]] in a cartoon.
*The price of each Easter egg [[Action Figure Character Variations|action figure]] is [[$11.01]].
*The appearance of Ripberger and Reinforcements originated from ideas mentioned in the commentaries for the Cheat Commandos on [[Everything Else, Volume 2]].
*The [[explosions]] on the battlefield with the Green Helmets are the same ones used in [[Sundae Drivin']], as seen in [[redesign]].

===Real-World References===
*The Lil' Steiny piano is a reference to [[Wikipedia:Steinway & Sons|Steinway & Sons]] pianos. ''(See also: Inside References)''
*[[Wikipedia:Over the River and Through the Woods|Over the River and Through the Woods]] is a popular holiday song written by Lydia Maria Child.
*Oliver Smidgen is an allusion to the title character of ''[[Wikipedia:Oliver Twist|Oliver Twist]]''.
*[[Wikipedia:Claude Monet|Claude Monet]] (1840-1926) was a French Impressionist painter.
*[[Wikipedia:Manchester United F.C.|Manchester United]] Football Club is the English football team most well-known to Americans through [[Wikipedia:David Beckham|David Beckham]]. The reference is also made funnier by the joke associated with the club, that it attracts fans from all corners of the globe except Manchester itself (a recent study showed people with Manchester-area post codes are more likely to support [[Wikipedia:Manchester City F.C.|Manchester City]]).
*The poster in Reynold's brother's room displays the [[Wikipedia:Anarchy|anarchy]] symbol.
*The gun that Gunhaver is holding resembles a Colt .45 [[Wikipedia:M1911|M1911]].
*The end of Gunhaver's song on the piano bears a strong resemblance to the ending of ''[[Wikipedia:Rhapsody in Blue|Rhapsody in Blue]]'' by [[Wikipedia:George Gershwin|George Gershwin]].
*In the toy Easter egg, The "Next Gen Gamepad" on the box for Reynold's brother most closely resembles that of the [[Wikipedia:Super Nintendo Entertainment System|Super NES]], which was considered a next-generation console in the early 1990s. Incidentally, two [[Wikipedia:History of video game consoles (seventh generation)|new game consoles]], the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation 3|PlayStation 3]] and the [[Nintendo]] [[Wikipedia:Wii|Wii]], were released just a few days before this toon.
*Oxi Clean is a brand of general-purpose cleaning products.
*The "no one understands me" song is a parody of punk emo rock, with one of the stereotypical themes of teenage angst being "nobody understands me", and the music and song tone coming from punk rock.

===Fast Forward===
*Reynold's brother makes an appearance again later in [[An Important Rap Song]].
*The Commandos get "another lame Thanksgiving special" in [[Toikey TV]].
*Gunhaver would later be called Charles in [[2 Part Episode: Part 1]].

==DVD Version==
*The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

=== Commentary Transcript ===
('''Commentary by:''' [[Mike Chapman]], [[Matt Chapman]])

'''MATT:''' It's fall!

'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' Look at the— The autumn hills by the Cheat Commandos headquarters!

'''MATT:''' The actual hills have changed color. Oh, the poor green helmets, Mike.

'''MIKE:''' So was there a green helmet version in ''G. I. Joe''? Was there just kind of a generic—

'''MATT:''' ''{overlapping}'' Yeah, there was—

'''MIKE:''' —soldier guy?

'''MATT:''' Mm-hmm. There was just this dude, he— he— he just had a... green... y'know, outfit on and a green helmet and he just— whenever they needed a lot of guys to be running somewhere and didn't want to draw a bunch of different drawings, just a bunch of that guy running in the background.

''{pause as the Commandos leave Gunhaver}''

'''MATT:''' This is kind of sad. Nobody wants to hang out with Gunhaver, Mike.

'''MIKE:''' They seem to enjoy his stories, usually, at the beginning of cartoons.

'''MATT:''' Yeah. When he told Blue Laser that he better break himself?

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, they love that.

'''MATT:''' Ummm... I really like Nana's cottage.

'''MIKE:''' Nana's... got some style.

'''MATT:''' Yeah.

'''MIKE:''' Her backyard's kinda nice.

'''MATT:''' That Blue Laser, uh, solider there is puttin' a nice rub on that turkey.

''{laughing}''

'''MATT:''' On that fully cooked turkey.

'''MIKE:''' Doesn't Bubs rub a chicken at some point?

'''MATT:''' He was shinin' up a chicken.

'''MIKE:''' Shinin' up a chicken.

'''MATT:''' Yeah.

''{pause}''

'''MATT:''' That would be the very— you'd have to send away maybe for the... the Blue Laser trooper with the fork stuck in his eye.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, with some proofs of purchase.

'''MATT:''' It'd be worth way more.

''{pause}''

'''MIKE:''' Don't— don't you have a scarf like that—

'''MATT:''' ''{overlapping}'' I do!

'''MIKE:''' —in the background?

'''MATT:''' It sorta looks like a... a Gryfindor scarf, Mike.

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughing}'' Mmmhmmm.

'''MATT:''' But I think those are crimson and gold.

'''MIKE:''' And who— who is that? Is that Ripberger?

'''MATT:''' That's Ripberger, Mike! This is his first appearance! He was only available with... two proofs of purchase.

'''MIKE:''' The Ripbergers lived behind us in Indiana.

'''MATT:''' That's true. Bill Ripberger. He's the only Ripberger I remember—

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughing}''

'''MATT:''' —by name.

''{pause as Gunhaver salutes "The Flag"}''

'''MATT:''' The Flag!

''{pause}''

'''MIKE:''' So they're talking about what they're thankful for here.

'''MATT:''' Yeah, what are you thankful for, Mike, on this... this nice day? In September.

'''MIKE:''' Ummmm...

'''MATT:''' It's almost your birthday.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah. I'm thankful that tomorrow I'm gonna get a bunch of awesome presents.

'''MATT:''' Yeah?

'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' Yeah.

'''MATT:''' From— from who?

'''MIKE:''' Uh... My daughter—

'''MATT:''' ''{laughing}'' Yeah, your one-year-old?

'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' You... My daughter...

'''MATT:''' —the dogs?

''{pause}''

'''MATT:''' What else, Mike? We're listening to it again—

'''MIKE:''' Uh yeah—Yeah! Sometimes I just get mesmerized by our hilarious cartoons and I just have to watch them.

'''MATT:''' That fork in his eye is gross.

'''MIKE:''' This is the extra depressing too—

'''MATT:''' ''{overlapping}'' Oh this is my favorite part right here!

''{pause}''

'''MATT:''' ''{laughing}'' Yeah I should go too! Somehow he interpreted that as he had to go...

'''MIKE:''' ''{sigh}''

'''MATT:''' So, but if Blue Laser is at Nana's who is— Who are the green helmets fighting?

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughing}'' I never thought of that!

'''MATT:''' Because both... both forces the leaders are main people—

'''MIKE:''' They're— They're fighting the Dreadnought.

'''MATT:''' Yeah?

'''MIKE:''' Is that what they were called?

'''MATT:''' The Dreadnoughts.

'''MIKE:''' Dreadnoughts. They were just kinda the middle-in-between, can be good, can be bad—

'''MATT:''' Yeah they kinda were mainly bad.

'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' Oh, okay.

'''MATT:''' They, they, they were—

'''MIKE:''' But they weren't Cobra, right?

'''MATT:''' They were supposed to be for hire! They were supposed to be mercenaries.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah.

'''MATT:''' But G. I. Joe ''{laughing}'' never really took advantage of their services.

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughing}''

'''MATT:''' Uh, so that way we just address my favorite thing in, in old cartoons. Where they show you a scene, and then the good guys or the bad guys would just be watching that scene—

'''MIKE:''' Right.

'''MATT:''' —of the opposing team. From the exact same viewpoint.

'''BOTH:''' ''{laughing}''

'''MIKE:''' Right.

'''MATT:''' And it would change angles too. That was the best part, where it was like, do they have a producer? I think we've talked about that before.

''{pause}''

'''MIKE:''' How did he get inside that turkey, man? That's gross.

''{pause}''

'''MATT:''' Charles Gunhaver.

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughing}''

'''MATT:''' I love the idea, he's like the, just the perfect alpha bear, like comes home with the family and even knows how to play little songs, like "Let's all gather around!"

'''MIKE:''' Did we give a name to that little, uh... little Dickens's's boy?

'''MATT:''' Yeah, I think so. Isn't there— there's an Easter egg with him in it.

'''MIKE:''' Oh is there? Oh, okay! It's, it's, it's his figure.

'''MATT:''' Yeah. Maybe, someday, I'll watch that and find out what his name is.

''{laughing}''

'''MATT:''' Lil' Steiny— look at that. That's a good joke, Mike. Steinway pianos. Look, Ripberger's on the ceiling like ninja's— like a red ninja should be.

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughing}''

'''MATT:''' That ninja's not going to blend in with anything, Mike.

'''MIKE:''' Except, perhaps, a red ceiling.

'''MATT:''' Looks like a red, latex catsuit thing.

'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' Yeah. It looks like pretty thick latex too.

''{pause}''

'''MATT:''' Reynold's brother! Nice 'stache!

'''MIKE:''' He has a pierced... point of his... cheatness.

'''MATT:''' What is he playing? It looks like he's playing Road Rash. On the Genesis.

''{pause}''

'''MATT:''' Thanks. Giving.

{{dvdproofread}}

===Fun Facts===
*The line of Gunhaver telling Blue Laser to "break himself" refers to the opening scene in [[Shopping for Danger]].
*Bubs was "shinin' up a chicken" in [[lunch special]].
*[[Wikipedia:Road Rash|Road Rash]] is a game for the [[Wikipedia:Sega Genesis|Sega Genesis]]/Sega MegaDrive where you race on motorcycles and knock other racers off their motorcycles by punching them or using clubs.
*The [[Wikipedia:Dreadnoks|Dreadnoks]] (incorrectly pronounced as Dreadnoughts in the commentary) are, as mentioned, a mercenary group in [[Wikipedia:G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero|G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero]] that was often hired by Cobra to do dirty work.

===Fast Forward===
*The idea of a mercenary group that wasn't officially on either side was later used in [[2 Part Episode, Part 2]] with the [[Topplegangers]].

==External Links==
{{extlinks|ccdo5|10241|youtube=cEg2ad5bcy0}}
*[[Mirror:ccdo5.html|watch toon with "floating lime" goof]] (mirror)
*[[Mirror:ccdo5.swf|watch the Flash file with the "floating lime" goof]] (mirror)

{{CheatCommandos}}

[[Category:Thanksgiving]]
[[Category:Cheat Commandos]]
[[Category:DVD Commentary]]

Let us give TANKS!

2019-07-18T02:24:36Z

President Cold One: /* Fun Facts */

{{toonnav|Holiday Toon|ccdo5|Fan Costumes '06|Decemberween Short Shorts}}
[[Image:Let Us Give Tanks.PNG|thumb|"I can never tell you two apart!"]]
Blue Laser invites the Cheat Commandos to Thanksgiving dinner.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' [[Green Helmets]], {{film|Gunhaver}}, {{film|Silent Rip}}, {{film|Reinforcements}}, {{film|Crackotage}}, {{film|Reynold}}, {{film|Firebert}}, {{film|Fightgar}}, {{film|Blue Laser Minion}}, {{film|Blue Laser Commander}}, {{Film|Ripberger}}, [[Oliver Smidgen]], [[Reynold's Brother]]

'''Places:''' [[Cheat Commandos HQ]], [[Blue Laser Cottage]], [[Reynold's Parents' House]]

'''Date:''' Tuesday, November 21, 2006

'''Running Time:''' 5:00

'''Page Title:''' A Very Tremendous Chimendez Thanksgiving

{{dvd|Everything Else, Volume 3}}

==Transcript==
''{The title appears — ''"LET US GIVE TANKS!!" written by A. Chimendez'' — over a shot of the Cheat Commando base in red, orange, yellow, and brown hills in the background and falling leaves. Light, percussive music plays.}''

''{Gunhaver and Silent Rip are in front of the control panel and video screen, watching shaky video of three Cheat Commandos being assaulted by blue lasers and explosions on a smoky, war-torn landscape.}''

'''GREEN HELMET:''' We're taking heavy losses, sir. They've got us pinned down! We really need—

''{The video image is interrupted by the Blue Las-alert siren and a yellow and orange screen with the text, "Thanksgiving Break Alert".}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' All right! Thanksgiving break!

''{The screen fades through static back to the Cheat Commandos.}''

'''GREEN HELMET:''' But sir! We could really use some—

''{Gunhaver turns off the monitor and turns to Silent Rip.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' I ''love'' Thanksgiving break!

''{Focus on Silent Rip.}''

'''SILENT RIP:''' Uh, shouldn't we go help him?

''{Cut out to include Gunhaver, along with Reinforcements and Crackotage.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' Naw, he's just one of those green helmets. We got like fifty of them. So, what's everybody doing for the holiday?

''{Shift to Reynold.}''

'''REYNOLD:''' I'm going to stay at my parents' house! If they haven't rented out my room... again... to my brother.

''{Gunhaver salutes the Cheat Commandos as they leave.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' Well, have a good time, soldiers. I'll just be here in case Blue Laser tries to blow up over-the-river-and-through-the-woods... so that no one to grandmother's house... can go.

''{Shift to a small cottage in the autumn woods with a gravel path and smoke rising out of the stone chimney. Transition music plays.}''

''{Cut to the inside of the cottage. A Blue Laser minion is preparing a turkey in the kitchen. Blue Laser Commander enters, brandishing a meat fork.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' I thought I told you to fiendishly dice the evil onions!

'''BLUE LASER MINION 1:''' No sir.

''{Pan to a second Blue Laser Minion chopping onions with fiendish faces drawn on them on the counter.}''

'''BLUE LASER MINION 2:''' That was me, sir.

''{Pan back to Blue Laser Commander.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' I can never tell you two apart! Yah! ''{Hurls the meat fork into the offscreen minion's eye.}''

'''BLUE LASER MINION 2:''' Ow!

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' There! Now you're the one with the fork stuck in your eye!

''{The door crashes open and Fightgar, Firebert, and Silent Rip enter, armed with guns.}''

'''FIGHTGAR:''' Sorry Blue Laser — the only thanks ''you'll'' be giving is getting shot by us with our bullet-shooting guns!

''{Blue Laser Commander approaches the Cheat Commandos.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' ''WHAT?!''

'''FIGHTGAR:''' Aw, just kiddin'. ''{Smiles, along with Firebert.}'' Thanks for havin' us over!

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' ''{laughs and smiles}'' You really had me going for a second there. Get in here, you guys!

''{Fightgar, Firebert, and Silent Rip enter, followed by Ripberger.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' Ripberger, you made it! ''{Ripberger stops at the door}'' I thought you were only available for a limited time with three proofs of purchase!

'''RIPBERGER:''' I brought some ambrosia salad! ''{displays the salad}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' Uh! Where's Gunhaver?!

''{Cut to Fightgar and Silent Rip.}''

'''SILENT RIP:''' ''{scratching his head}'' Uh, we kinda didn't give him your invitation. Gunhaver has a bit of a hard time cutting loose.

''{Cut to Gunhaver in the Cheat Commandos base, saluting a flag labeled "The Flag" which is being blown by a fan.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' Forty-seven! Forty-eight! Forty-nine! Fifty! C'mon Gunhaver, you maggot! Give me fifty more! One! Two! Three!

''{Cut back to the cottage, with Blue Laser Commander and Fightgar at a table with plates, the turkey, and yams with marshmallows.}''

'''FIGHTGAR:''' Uh... I guess... Claude Monet, and um... Manchester United!

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' That's good, that's good! Now what about you, Silent Rip?

''{Pan over to Silent Rip.}''

'''SILENT RIP:''' I'm thankful for this bountiful Blue Laser Thanksgiving action playset!

''{A "ding" noise is heard and the words "CHEAP AS FREE" appear in a cloud bubble in the corner.}''

''{Cut to Crackotage.}''

'''CRACKOTAGE:''' I'm thankful for the gift of rhyme!!

''{Cut to Ripberger.}''

'''RIPBERGER:''' Ambrosia salad!

''{Cut back to Crackotage.}''

'''CRACKOTAGE:''' I'm also thankful for this lime! ''{holds up a lime}'' Hibbety-jeebity!

''{Cuts to Blue Laser Commander.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' Plutonium at closeout prices!

''{Cut to a Blue Laser minion.}''

'''BLUE LASER MINION:''' I'm thankful I don't have a fork in my eye, sir.

''{Cut back to Blue Laser Commander.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' My Nana's new hip!

''{Cut to the Blue Laser minion with a fork stuck through his visor into his eye.}''

'''BLUE LASER MINION WITH FORK IN EYE:''' I'm... thankful for this fork in my eye.

''{Cuts to Gunhaver, facing the camera in front of the control panel.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' So I exchanged it for something of lesser value, and they gave me the rest in store credit!

''{Cut to reveal him standing in front of the video monitor with the Cheat Commando green helmet onscreen.}''

'''GREEN HELMET:''' That's great, sir. A real value. But we could really use some air support!

'''GUNHAVER:''' Yeah, I should go too. Gotta check in on Blue Laser.

'''GREEN HELMET:''' Please, NO—

''{Gunhaver brings up the Blue Laser cottage on the video monitor, showing Blue Laser Commander, Fightgar, Silent Rip, and a Blue Laser minion at the table with the turkey.}''

'''FIGHTGAR:''' Ambros-er-a salad... sayin' right, right, right, right...

'''GUNHAVER:''' Tight buns! Blue Laser's captured the Cheat Commandos and is forcing them to sit down to a delicious meal and pleasant conversation! Hang on, boys. Daddy Gunhavvy's on his way! ''{walks away from the monitor}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' But I'm ''not'' thankful for that guy over there with the camera!

''{Cut to Reinforcements, who is using a camera and lights to record the Thanksgiving dinner.}''

'''REINFORCEMENTS:''' Hey, guys.

''{Focus on Silent Rip and Blue Laser Commander.}''

'''SILENT RIP:''' Uh-oh. You know what ''that'' means.

''{Cuts to Fightgar.}''

'''FIGHTGAR:''' It won't be long before...

''{Gunhaver pops out of the turkey holding a handgun. The Cheat Commandos theme music plays in the background.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' Gobble, gobble... you're in trobble!

'''CRACKOTAGE:''' ''{offscreen}'' Hey, that's not bad!

''{Cut to Blue Laser Commander.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' Gunhaver! You actually have a gun!

''{Cut back to Gunhaver, with the silhouettes of two Cheat Commandos in the foreground.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' Cheat Commandos, run! For cover! ''{camera zooms in}'' Blue Laser is clearly trying to have you all over for dinner!

''{Cut to Silent Rip.}''

'''SILENT RIP:''' Uh, yeah! He invited you too. But we didn't tell you because we were afraid you'd do something like this!

''{Cut back to Gunhaver.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' And I did! The Cheat Commandos win again!

''{Cut to Blue Laser Commander.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' Well, since you're here... ''{clasps his hands together}'' Play us a song, won't you, Charles?

''{Pan past several Cheat Commandos, all murmuring in agreement}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' A—a song? No, I couldn't possibly... it's been so long, I...

''{Cut back to Gunhaver, with a small, dirty Cheat Commando wearing a cap behind him.}''

'''OLIVER SMIDGEN:''' Won't you play us a song, Gun'aver?

'''GUNHAVER:''' All right, you talked me into it. One song!

''{Cut to Gunhaver sitting at a black upright piano with the Cheat Commandos and Blue Laser gathered around.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' This is one everybody knows, so give me a hand, boys. ''{begins playing the piano and singing}'' Buy all our playsets and...

'''CHEAT COMMANDOS AND BLUE LASER:''' Ooh!

'''GUNHAVER:''' ''{singing}'' Buy all our playsets and...

''{Ripberger descends upside-down from the ceiling.}''

'''CHEAT COMMANDOS AND BLUE LASER:''' Ah!

'''GUNHAVER:''' ''{singing}'' Buy all our playsets and...

'''ALL:''' ''{singing}'' Toys!

''{Pan past Fightgar, Silent Rip, and the Blue Laser minion with the fork in his eye. Focus on the piano keys, on which Gunhaver is playing diddy tune of the Cheat Commandos theme song, and then cut back to everyone in front of the piano.}''

'''ALL:''' Yeah!

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' A holiday classic!

''{Smoke begins wafting through the the room.}''

'''SILENT RIP:''' Uh, what's that smell?

'''FIGHTGAR:''' How should I know? You're the one called Silent Rip!

'''GUNHAVER:''' That's all me. I stuck a nuclear device in the oven in case I didn't make it out of here alive! ''{several of the attendees open their mouths in surprise}''

''{Cut to Reynold's room, with his brother playing video games. There are several speakers in the room; the one in the foreground is pulsating as it plays music. The Blue Laser cottage can be seen outside the window with smoke rising from it.}''

'''MUSIC:''' ''No one understands me! No one understands me!''

''{Reynold enters the room, covering his ears.}''

'''REYNOLD:''' Will you turn that noise down?!

'''REYNOLD'S BROTHER:''' You're so lame.

'''MUSIC:''' ''No one understands me... but YOU!''

''{The Blue Laser cottage explodes in a mushroom cloud at the end of the song and the glass window of Reynold's room shatters.}''

''{Cut to a picture of Gunhaver coming out of the turkey, with the message, "Happy Thanksgiving! from those Cheat Commandos". The "Buy all our playsets and toys" music plays, without lyrics.}''

==Easter Eggs==
*At the end, click on "Cheat Commandos" to see Oliver Smidgen and Reynold's brother's action figures.
*At the end, click on the turkey drumstick to see Blue Laser order around a minion. 
*:'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' ''{Holding a plate of food}'' I need you to take this plate of food, make a milkshake out of it, and spread it on Nana's gums for her! 
*:'''BLUE LASER MINION:''' I'm going to go ahead and disobey a direct order, sir. 
*:'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' Understandable!

==Fun Facts==

===Explanations===
*The "Green Helmets" are minor, expendable characters added so "heroes" can die without losing any members of the main cast. Such characters are frequently called "[[Wikipedia:Redshirt (character)|Redshirts]]", due to the fact that such characters in [[Wikipedia:Star Trek|Star Trek]] usually wore red shirts; in G.I. Joe, they were called "[[Wikipedia:Greenshirts (G.I. Joe)|Greenshirts]]".
*[[Wikipedia:Ambrosia (fruit salad)|Ambrosia salad]] is a fruit salad variation that contains sour cream, whipped cream, mandarin oranges, pineapple, and coconut. Some variations also contain bananas, strawberries, or miniature marshmallows.
*Oliver's pronunciation of Gunhaver as "Gun'aver" is a play on "Guv'nor," a term of British origin used to refer to a person of higher social status.

===Trivia===
*Crackotage's "Hey, that's not bad!" line is the first time he is heard not attempting to conclude what he says with a rhyme.
*This toon contains a fairly rare appearance of an actual [[Guns|handgun]].
*The [[YouTube]] description for this toon is "The Cheat Commandos are invited to Thanksgiving dinner with Blue Laser."

===Remarks===
*The leaves at the beginning fall ''in front of'' the [[Wikipedia:character generator|character-generated]] title.
*Gunhaver is shown playing C E F B♭ F E. The notes heard are G G A B♭ A G.
*In action figure form, Reynold's brother still has cartoon-style eyes, although it may be because of his disgruntled facial expression.
*When Fightgar enters Blue Laser Cottage, he threatens Blue Laser Commander with "bullet-shooting guns." The Cheat Commando weapons normally fire lasers.
*Reynold's brother's box says he is a child of the '90s, meaning he is somewhere between age 6 and age 16 at the time of the toon's release.
*If you look closely at [[Gunhaver's gun]] when he bursts out of the turkey, the lines are not properly drawn as one of them is at a slightly awkward angle.
*During the song, [[Ripberger]]'s mouth doesn't move. However, his body moves as though he is singing.
*The fork in the injured Blue Laser Minion's eye switches eyes depending on which direction he is facing. This is due to the fact that each character simply [[Flipped Images|flips horizontally]] when facing a different direction, rather than being redrawn.

===Fixed Goofs===
[[Image:Cheat Commandos Lime No Decend.PNG|thumb| I'm also thankful for this floating lime! Hibbety-jeebity!]]
*Crackotage's arm originally went down after showing the lime, but the lime didn't descend with his arm. This was fixed by removing the downwards arm movement. 

===Inside References===
*The Lil' Steiny piano is a reference to [[Strong Badman Characters#Stiny|Stiny]]'s nickname, Li'l Stiny, from [[superhero name]]. ''(See also: Real-World References)''
*The page title refers to [[A. Chimendez]].
*This is another instance of [[blood]] in a cartoon.
*This is another instance of [[Cheap as Free]] in a cartoon.
*The price of each Easter egg [[Action Figure Character Variations|action figure]] is [[$11.01]].
*The appearance of Ripberger and Reinforcements originated from ideas mentioned in the commentaries for the Cheat Commandos on [[Everything Else, Volume 2]].
*The [[explosions]] on the battlefield with the Green Helmets are the same ones used in [[Sundae Drivin']], as seen in [[redesign]].

===Real-World References===
*The Lil' Steiny piano is a reference to [[Wikipedia:Steinway & Sons|Steinway & Sons]] pianos. ''(See also: Inside References)''
*[[Wikipedia:Over the River and Through the Woods|Over the River and Through the Woods]] is a popular holiday song written by Lydia Maria Child.
*Oliver Smidgen is an allusion to the title character of ''[[Wikipedia:Oliver Twist|Oliver Twist]]''.
*[[Wikipedia:Claude Monet|Claude Monet]] (1840-1926) was a French Impressionist painter.
*[[Wikipedia:Manchester United F.C.|Manchester United]] Football Club is the English football team most well-known to Americans through [[Wikipedia:David Beckham|David Beckham]]. The reference is also made funnier by the joke associated with the club, that it attracts fans from all corners of the globe except Manchester itself (a recent study showed people with Manchester-area post codes are more likely to support [[Wikipedia:Manchester City F.C.|Manchester City]]).
*The poster in Reynold's brother's room displays the [[Wikipedia:Anarchy|anarchy]] symbol.
*The gun that Gunhaver is holding resembles a Colt .45 [[Wikipedia:M1911|M1911]].
*The end of Gunhaver's song on the piano bears a strong resemblance to the ending of ''[[Wikipedia:Rhapsody in Blue|Rhapsody in Blue]]'' by [[Wikipedia:George Gershwin|George Gershwin]].
*In the toy Easter egg, The "Next Gen Gamepad" on the box for Reynold's brother most closely resembles that of the [[Wikipedia:Super Nintendo Entertainment System|Super NES]], which was considered a next-generation console in the early 1990s. Incidentally, two [[Wikipedia:History of video game consoles (seventh generation)|new game consoles]], the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation 3|PlayStation 3]] and the [[Nintendo]] [[Wikipedia:Wii|Wii]], were released just a few days before this toon.
*Oxi Clean is a brand of general-purpose cleaning products.
*The "no one understands me" song is a parody of punk emo rock, with one of the stereotypical themes of teenage angst being "nobody understands me", and the music and song tone coming from punk rock.

===Fast Forward===
*Reynold's brother makes an appearance again later in [[An Important Rap Song]].
*The Commandos get "another lame Thanksgiving special" in [[Toikey TV]].
*Gunhaver would later be called Charles in [[2 Part Episode: Part 1]].

==DVD Version==
*The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

=== Commentary Transcript ===
('''Commentary by:''' [[Mike Chapman]], [[Matt Chapman]])

'''MATT:''' It's fall!

'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' Look at the— The autumn hills by the Cheat Commandos headquarters!

'''MATT:''' The actual hills have changed color. Oh, the poor green helmets, Mike.

'''MIKE:''' So was there a green helmet version in ''G. I. Joe''? Was there just kind of a generic—

'''MATT:''' ''{overlapping}'' Yeah, there was—

'''MIKE:''' —soldier guy?

'''MATT:''' Mm-hmm. There was just this dude, he— he— he just had a... green... y'know, outfit on and a green helmet and he just— whenever they needed a lot of guys to be running somewhere and didn't want to draw a bunch of different drawings, just a bunch of that guy running in the background.

''{pause as the Commandos leave Gunhaver}''

'''MATT:''' This is kind of sad. Nobody wants to hang out with Gunhaver, Mike.

'''MIKE:''' They seem to enjoy his stories, usually, at the beginning of cartoons.

'''MATT:''' Yeah. When he told Blue Laser that he better break himself?

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, they love that.

'''MATT:''' Ummm... I really like Nana's cottage.

'''MIKE:''' Nana's... got some style.

'''MATT:''' Yeah.

'''MIKE:''' Her backyard's kinda nice.

'''MATT:''' That Blue Laser, uh, solider there is puttin' a nice rub on that turkey.

''{laughing}''

'''MATT:''' On that fully cooked turkey.

'''MIKE:''' Doesn't Bubs rub a chicken at some point?

'''MATT:''' He was shinin' up a chicken.

'''MIKE:''' Shinin' up a chicken.

'''MATT:''' Yeah.

''{pause}''

'''MATT:''' That would be the very— you'd have to send away maybe for the... the Blue Laser trooper with the fork stuck in his eye.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, with some proofs of purchase.

'''MATT:''' It'd be worth way more.

''{pause}''

'''MIKE:''' Don't— don't you have a scarf like that—

'''MATT:''' ''{overlapping}'' I do!

'''MIKE:''' —in the background?

'''MATT:''' It sorta looks like a... a Gryfindor scarf, Mike.

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughing}'' Mmmhmmm.

'''MATT:''' But I think those are crimson and gold.

'''MIKE:''' And who— who is that? Is that Ripberger?

'''MATT:''' That's Ripberger, Mike! This is his first appearance! He was only available with... two proofs of purchase.

'''MIKE:''' The Ripbergers lived behind us in Indiana.

'''MATT:''' That's true. Bill Ripberger. He's the only Ripberger I remember—

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughing}''

'''MATT:''' —by name.

''{pause as Gunhaver salutes "The Flag"}''

'''MATT:''' The Flag!

''{pause}''

'''MIKE:''' So they're talking about what they're thankful for here.

'''MATT:''' Yeah, what are you thankful for, Mike, on this... this nice day? In September.

'''MIKE:''' Ummmm...

'''MATT:''' It's almost your birthday.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah. I'm thankful that tomorrow I'm gonna get a bunch of awesome presents.

'''MATT:''' Yeah?

'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' Yeah.

'''MATT:''' From— from who?

'''MIKE:''' Uh... My daughter—

'''MATT:''' ''{laughing}'' Yeah, your one-year-old?

'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' You... My daughter...

'''MATT:''' —the dogs?

''{pause}''

'''MATT:''' What else, Mike? We're listening to it again—

'''MIKE:''' Uh yeah—Yeah! Sometimes I just get mesmerized by our hilarious cartoons and I just have to watch them.

'''MATT:''' That fork in his eye is gross.

'''MIKE:''' This is the extra depressing too—

'''MATT:''' ''{overlapping}'' Oh this is my favorite part right here!

''{pause}''

'''MATT:''' ''{laughing}'' Yeah I should go too! Somehow he interpreted that as he had to go...

'''MIKE:''' ''{sigh}''

'''MATT:''' So, but if Blue Laser is at Nana's who is— Who are the green helmets fighting?

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughing}'' I never thought of that!

'''MATT:''' Because both... both forces the leaders are main people—

'''MIKE:''' They're— They're fighting the Dreadnought.

'''MATT:''' Yeah?

'''MIKE:''' Is that what they were called?

'''MATT:''' The Dreadnoughts.

'''MIKE:''' Dreadnoughts. They were just kinda the middle-in-between, can be good, can be bad—

'''MATT:''' Yeah they kinda were mainly bad.

'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' Oh, okay.

'''MATT:''' They, they, they were—

'''MIKE:''' But they weren't Cobra, right?

'''MATT:''' They were supposed to be for hire! They were supposed to be mercenaries.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah.

'''MATT:''' But G. I. Joe ''{laughing}'' never really took advantage of their services.

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughing}''

'''MATT:''' Uh, so that way we just address my favorite thing in, in old cartoons. Where they show you a scene, and then the good guys or the bad guys would just be watching that scene—

'''MIKE:''' Right.

'''MATT:''' —of the opposing team. From the exact same viewpoint.

'''BOTH:''' ''{laughing}''

'''MIKE:''' Right.

'''MATT:''' And it would change angles too. That was the best part, where it was like, do they have a producer? I think we've talked about that before.

''{pause}''

'''MIKE:''' How did he get inside that turkey, man? That's gross.

''{pause}''

'''MATT:''' Charles Gunhaver.

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughing}''

'''MATT:''' I love the idea, he's like the, just the perfect alpha bear, like comes home with the family and even knows how to play little songs, like "Let's all gather around!"

'''MIKE:''' Did we give a name to that little, uh... little Dickens's's boy?

'''MATT:''' Yeah, I think so. Isn't there— there's an Easter egg with him in it.

'''MIKE:''' Oh is there? Oh, okay! It's, it's, it's his figure.

'''MATT:''' Yeah. Maybe, someday, I'll watch that and find out what his name is.

''{laughing}''

'''MATT:''' Lil' Steiny— look at that. That's a good joke, Mike. Steinway pianos. Look, Ripberger's on the ceiling like ninja's— like a red ninja should be.

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughing}''

'''MATT:''' That ninja's not going to blend in with anything, Mike.

'''MIKE:''' Except, perhaps, a red ceiling.

'''MATT:''' Looks like a red, latex catsuit thing.

'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' Yeah. It looks like pretty thick latex too.

''{pause}''

'''MATT:''' Reynold's brother! Nice 'stache!

'''MIKE:''' He has a pierced... point of his... cheatness.

'''MATT:''' What is he playing? It looks like he's playing Road Rash. On the Genesis.

''{pause}''

'''MATT:''' Thanks. Giving.

{{dvdproofread}}

===Fun Facts===
*The line of Gunhaver telling Blue Laser to "break himself" refers to the opening scene in [[Shopping for Danger]].
*Bubs was "shinin' up a chicken" in [[lunch special]].
*[[Wikipedia:Road Rash|Road Rash]] is a game for the [[Wikipedia:Sega Genesis|Sega Genesis]]/Sega MegaDrive where you race on motorcycles and knock other racers off their motorcycles by punching them or using clubs.
*The [[Wikipedia:Dreadnoks|Dreadnoks]] (incorrectly pronounced as Dreadnoughts in the commentary) are, as mentioned, a mercenary group in [[Wikipedia:G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero]] that was often hired by Cobra to do dirty work.

===Fast Forward===
*The idea of a mercenary group that wasn't officially on either side was later used in [[2 Part Episode, Part 2]] with the [[Topplegangers]].

==External Links==
{{extlinks|ccdo5|10241|youtube=cEg2ad5bcy0}}
*[[Mirror:ccdo5.html|watch toon with "floating lime" goof]] (mirror)
*[[Mirror:ccdo5.swf|watch the Flash file with the "floating lime" goof]] (mirror)

{{CheatCommandos}}

[[Category:Thanksgiving]]
[[Category:Cheat Commandos]]
[[Category:DVD Commentary]]

Let us give TANKS!

2019-07-18T02:20:00Z

President Cold One: /* Fun Facts */

{{toonnav|Holiday Toon|ccdo5|Fan Costumes '06|Decemberween Short Shorts}}
[[Image:Let Us Give Tanks.PNG|thumb|"I can never tell you two apart!"]]
Blue Laser invites the Cheat Commandos to Thanksgiving dinner.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' [[Green Helmets]], {{film|Gunhaver}}, {{film|Silent Rip}}, {{film|Reinforcements}}, {{film|Crackotage}}, {{film|Reynold}}, {{film|Firebert}}, {{film|Fightgar}}, {{film|Blue Laser Minion}}, {{film|Blue Laser Commander}}, {{Film|Ripberger}}, [[Oliver Smidgen]], [[Reynold's Brother]]

'''Places:''' [[Cheat Commandos HQ]], [[Blue Laser Cottage]], [[Reynold's Parents' House]]

'''Date:''' Tuesday, November 21, 2006

'''Running Time:''' 5:00

'''Page Title:''' A Very Tremendous Chimendez Thanksgiving

{{dvd|Everything Else, Volume 3}}

==Transcript==
''{The title appears — ''"LET US GIVE TANKS!!" written by A. Chimendez'' — over a shot of the Cheat Commando base in red, orange, yellow, and brown hills in the background and falling leaves. Light, percussive music plays.}''

''{Gunhaver and Silent Rip are in front of the control panel and video screen, watching shaky video of three Cheat Commandos being assaulted by blue lasers and explosions on a smoky, war-torn landscape.}''

'''GREEN HELMET:''' We're taking heavy losses, sir. They've got us pinned down! We really need—

''{The video image is interrupted by the Blue Las-alert siren and a yellow and orange screen with the text, "Thanksgiving Break Alert".}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' All right! Thanksgiving break!

''{The screen fades through static back to the Cheat Commandos.}''

'''GREEN HELMET:''' But sir! We could really use some—

''{Gunhaver turns off the monitor and turns to Silent Rip.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' I ''love'' Thanksgiving break!

''{Focus on Silent Rip.}''

'''SILENT RIP:''' Uh, shouldn't we go help him?

''{Cut out to include Gunhaver, along with Reinforcements and Crackotage.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' Naw, he's just one of those green helmets. We got like fifty of them. So, what's everybody doing for the holiday?

''{Shift to Reynold.}''

'''REYNOLD:''' I'm going to stay at my parents' house! If they haven't rented out my room... again... to my brother.

''{Gunhaver salutes the Cheat Commandos as they leave.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' Well, have a good time, soldiers. I'll just be here in case Blue Laser tries to blow up over-the-river-and-through-the-woods... so that no one to grandmother's house... can go.

''{Shift to a small cottage in the autumn woods with a gravel path and smoke rising out of the stone chimney. Transition music plays.}''

''{Cut to the inside of the cottage. A Blue Laser minion is preparing a turkey in the kitchen. Blue Laser Commander enters, brandishing a meat fork.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' I thought I told you to fiendishly dice the evil onions!

'''BLUE LASER MINION 1:''' No sir.

''{Pan to a second Blue Laser Minion chopping onions with fiendish faces drawn on them on the counter.}''

'''BLUE LASER MINION 2:''' That was me, sir.

''{Pan back to Blue Laser Commander.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' I can never tell you two apart! Yah! ''{Hurls the meat fork into the offscreen minion's eye.}''

'''BLUE LASER MINION 2:''' Ow!

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' There! Now you're the one with the fork stuck in your eye!

''{The door crashes open and Fightgar, Firebert, and Silent Rip enter, armed with guns.}''

'''FIGHTGAR:''' Sorry Blue Laser — the only thanks ''you'll'' be giving is getting shot by us with our bullet-shooting guns!

''{Blue Laser Commander approaches the Cheat Commandos.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' ''WHAT?!''

'''FIGHTGAR:''' Aw, just kiddin'. ''{Smiles, along with Firebert.}'' Thanks for havin' us over!

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' ''{laughs and smiles}'' You really had me going for a second there. Get in here, you guys!

''{Fightgar, Firebert, and Silent Rip enter, followed by Ripberger.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' Ripberger, you made it! ''{Ripberger stops at the door}'' I thought you were only available for a limited time with three proofs of purchase!

'''RIPBERGER:''' I brought some ambrosia salad! ''{displays the salad}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' Uh! Where's Gunhaver?!

''{Cut to Fightgar and Silent Rip.}''

'''SILENT RIP:''' ''{scratching his head}'' Uh, we kinda didn't give him your invitation. Gunhaver has a bit of a hard time cutting loose.

''{Cut to Gunhaver in the Cheat Commandos base, saluting a flag labeled "The Flag" which is being blown by a fan.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' Forty-seven! Forty-eight! Forty-nine! Fifty! C'mon Gunhaver, you maggot! Give me fifty more! One! Two! Three!

''{Cut back to the cottage, with Blue Laser Commander and Fightgar at a table with plates, the turkey, and yams with marshmallows.}''

'''FIGHTGAR:''' Uh... I guess... Claude Monet, and um... Manchester United!

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' That's good, that's good! Now what about you, Silent Rip?

''{Pan over to Silent Rip.}''

'''SILENT RIP:''' I'm thankful for this bountiful Blue Laser Thanksgiving action playset!

''{A "ding" noise is heard and the words "CHEAP AS FREE" appear in a cloud bubble in the corner.}''

''{Cut to Crackotage.}''

'''CRACKOTAGE:''' I'm thankful for the gift of rhyme!!

''{Cut to Ripberger.}''

'''RIPBERGER:''' Ambrosia salad!

''{Cut back to Crackotage.}''

'''CRACKOTAGE:''' I'm also thankful for this lime! ''{holds up a lime}'' Hibbety-jeebity!

''{Cuts to Blue Laser Commander.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' Plutonium at closeout prices!

''{Cut to a Blue Laser minion.}''

'''BLUE LASER MINION:''' I'm thankful I don't have a fork in my eye, sir.

''{Cut back to Blue Laser Commander.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' My Nana's new hip!

''{Cut to the Blue Laser minion with a fork stuck through his visor into his eye.}''

'''BLUE LASER MINION WITH FORK IN EYE:''' I'm... thankful for this fork in my eye.

''{Cuts to Gunhaver, facing the camera in front of the control panel.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' So I exchanged it for something of lesser value, and they gave me the rest in store credit!

''{Cut to reveal him standing in front of the video monitor with the Cheat Commando green helmet onscreen.}''

'''GREEN HELMET:''' That's great, sir. A real value. But we could really use some air support!

'''GUNHAVER:''' Yeah, I should go too. Gotta check in on Blue Laser.

'''GREEN HELMET:''' Please, NO—

''{Gunhaver brings up the Blue Laser cottage on the video monitor, showing Blue Laser Commander, Fightgar, Silent Rip, and a Blue Laser minion at the table with the turkey.}''

'''FIGHTGAR:''' Ambros-er-a salad... sayin' right, right, right, right...

'''GUNHAVER:''' Tight buns! Blue Laser's captured the Cheat Commandos and is forcing them to sit down to a delicious meal and pleasant conversation! Hang on, boys. Daddy Gunhavvy's on his way! ''{walks away from the monitor}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' But I'm ''not'' thankful for that guy over there with the camera!

''{Cut to Reinforcements, who is using a camera and lights to record the Thanksgiving dinner.}''

'''REINFORCEMENTS:''' Hey, guys.

''{Focus on Silent Rip and Blue Laser Commander.}''

'''SILENT RIP:''' Uh-oh. You know what ''that'' means.

''{Cuts to Fightgar.}''

'''FIGHTGAR:''' It won't be long before...

''{Gunhaver pops out of the turkey holding a handgun. The Cheat Commandos theme music plays in the background.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' Gobble, gobble... you're in trobble!

'''CRACKOTAGE:''' ''{offscreen}'' Hey, that's not bad!

''{Cut to Blue Laser Commander.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' Gunhaver! You actually have a gun!

''{Cut back to Gunhaver, with the silhouettes of two Cheat Commandos in the foreground.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' Cheat Commandos, run! For cover! ''{camera zooms in}'' Blue Laser is clearly trying to have you all over for dinner!

''{Cut to Silent Rip.}''

'''SILENT RIP:''' Uh, yeah! He invited you too. But we didn't tell you because we were afraid you'd do something like this!

''{Cut back to Gunhaver.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' And I did! The Cheat Commandos win again!

''{Cut to Blue Laser Commander.}''

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' Well, since you're here... ''{clasps his hands together}'' Play us a song, won't you, Charles?

''{Pan past several Cheat Commandos, all murmuring in agreement}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' A—a song? No, I couldn't possibly... it's been so long, I...

''{Cut back to Gunhaver, with a small, dirty Cheat Commando wearing a cap behind him.}''

'''OLIVER SMIDGEN:''' Won't you play us a song, Gun'aver?

'''GUNHAVER:''' All right, you talked me into it. One song!

''{Cut to Gunhaver sitting at a black upright piano with the Cheat Commandos and Blue Laser gathered around.}''

'''GUNHAVER:''' This is one everybody knows, so give me a hand, boys. ''{begins playing the piano and singing}'' Buy all our playsets and...

'''CHEAT COMMANDOS AND BLUE LASER:''' Ooh!

'''GUNHAVER:''' ''{singing}'' Buy all our playsets and...

''{Ripberger descends upside-down from the ceiling.}''

'''CHEAT COMMANDOS AND BLUE LASER:''' Ah!

'''GUNHAVER:''' ''{singing}'' Buy all our playsets and...

'''ALL:''' ''{singing}'' Toys!

''{Pan past Fightgar, Silent Rip, and the Blue Laser minion with the fork in his eye. Focus on the piano keys, on which Gunhaver is playing diddy tune of the Cheat Commandos theme song, and then cut back to everyone in front of the piano.}''

'''ALL:''' Yeah!

'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' A holiday classic!

''{Smoke begins wafting through the the room.}''

'''SILENT RIP:''' Uh, what's that smell?

'''FIGHTGAR:''' How should I know? You're the one called Silent Rip!

'''GUNHAVER:''' That's all me. I stuck a nuclear device in the oven in case I didn't make it out of here alive! ''{several of the attendees open their mouths in surprise}''

''{Cut to Reynold's room, with his brother playing video games. There are several speakers in the room; the one in the foreground is pulsating as it plays music. The Blue Laser cottage can be seen outside the window with smoke rising from it.}''

'''MUSIC:''' ''No one understands me! No one understands me!''

''{Reynold enters the room, covering his ears.}''

'''REYNOLD:''' Will you turn that noise down?!

'''REYNOLD'S BROTHER:''' You're so lame.

'''MUSIC:''' ''No one understands me... but YOU!''

''{The Blue Laser cottage explodes in a mushroom cloud at the end of the song and the glass window of Reynold's room shatters.}''

''{Cut to a picture of Gunhaver coming out of the turkey, with the message, "Happy Thanksgiving! from those Cheat Commandos". The "Buy all our playsets and toys" music plays, without lyrics.}''

==Easter Eggs==
*At the end, click on "Cheat Commandos" to see Oliver Smidgen and Reynold's brother's action figures.
*At the end, click on the turkey drumstick to see Blue Laser order around a minion. 
*:'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' ''{Holding a plate of food}'' I need you to take this plate of food, make a milkshake out of it, and spread it on Nana's gums for her! 
*:'''BLUE LASER MINION:''' I'm going to go ahead and disobey a direct order, sir. 
*:'''BLUE LASER COMMANDER:''' Understandable!

==Fun Facts==

===Explanations===
*The "Green Helmets" are minor, expendable characters added so "heroes" can die without losing any members of the main cast. Such characters are frequently called "[[Wikipedia:Redshirt (character)|Redshirts]]", due to the fact that such characters in [[Wikipedia:Star Trek|Star Trek]] usually wore red shirts; in G.I. Joe, they were called "[[Wikipedia:Greenshirts (G.I. Joe)|Greenshirts]]".
*[[Wikipedia:Ambrosia (fruit salad)|Ambrosia salad]] is a fruit salad variation that contains sour cream, whipped cream, mandarin oranges, pineapple, and coconut. Some variations also contain bananas, strawberries, or miniature marshmallows.
*Oliver's pronunciation of Gunhaver as "Gun'aver" is a play on "Guv'nor," a term of British origin used to refer to a person of higher social status.

===Trivia===
*Crackotage's "Hey, that's not bad!" line is the first time he is heard not attempting to conclude what he says with a rhyme.
*This toon contains a fairly rare appearance of an actual [[Guns|handgun]].
*The [[YouTube]] description for this toon is "The Cheat Commandos are invited to Thanksgiving dinner with Blue Laser."

===Remarks===
*The leaves at the beginning fall ''in front of'' the [[Wikipedia:character generator|character-generated]] title.
*Gunhaver is shown playing C E F B♭ F E. The notes heard are G G A B♭ A G.
*In action figure form, Reynold's brother still has cartoon-style eyes, although it may be because of his disgruntled facial expression.
*When Fightgar enters Blue Laser Cottage, he threatens Blue Laser Commander with "bullet-shooting guns." The Cheat Commando weapons normally fire lasers.
*Reynold's brother's box says he is a child of the '90s, meaning he is somewhere between age 6 and age 16 at the time of the toon's release.
*If you look closely at [[Gunhaver's gun]] when he bursts out of the turkey, the lines are not properly drawn as one of them is at a slightly awkward angle.
*During the song, [[Ripberger]]'s mouth doesn't move. However, his body moves as though he is singing.
*The fork in the injured Blue Laser Minion's eye switches eyes depending on which direction he is facing. This is due to the fact that each character simply [[Flipped Images|flips horizontally]] when facing a different direction, rather than being redrawn.

===Fixed Goofs===
[[Image:Cheat Commandos Lime No Decend.PNG|thumb| I'm also thankful for this floating lime! Hibbety-jeebity!]]
*Crackotage's arm originally went down after showing the lime, but the lime didn't descend with his arm. This was fixed by removing the downwards arm movement. 

===Inside References===
*The Lil' Steiny piano is a reference to [[Strong Badman Characters#Stiny|Stiny]]'s nickname, Li'l Stiny, from [[superhero name]]. ''(See also: Real-World References)''
*The page title refers to [[A. Chimendez]].
*This is another instance of [[blood]] in a cartoon.
*This is another instance of [[Cheap as Free]] in a cartoon.
*The price of each Easter egg [[Action Figure Character Variations|action figure]] is [[$11.01]].
*The appearance of Ripberger and Reinforcements originated from ideas mentioned in the commentaries for the Cheat Commandos on [[Everything Else, Volume 2]].
*The [[explosions]] on the battlefield with the Green Helmets are the same ones used in [[Sundae Drivin']], as seen in [[redesign]].

===Real-World References===
*The Lil' Steiny piano is a reference to [[Wikipedia:Steinway & Sons|Steinway & Sons]] pianos. ''(See also: Inside References)''
*[[Wikipedia:Over the River and Through the Woods|Over the River and Through the Woods]] is a popular holiday song written by Lydia Maria Child.
*Oliver Smidgen is an allusion to the title character of ''[[Wikipedia:Oliver Twist|Oliver Twist]]''.
*[[Wikipedia:Claude Monet|Claude Monet]] (1840-1926) was a French Impressionist painter.
*[[Wikipedia:Manchester United F.C.|Manchester United]] Football Club is the English football team most well-known to Americans through [[Wikipedia:David Beckham|David Beckham]]. The reference is also made funnier by the joke associated with the club, that it attracts fans from all corners of the globe except Manchester itself (a recent study showed people with Manchester-area post codes are more likely to support [[Wikipedia:Manchester City F.C.|Manchester City]]).
*The poster in Reynold's brother's room displays the [[Wikipedia:Anarchy|anarchy]] symbol.
*The gun that Gunhaver is holding resembles a Colt .45 [[Wikipedia:M1911|M1911]].
*The end of Gunhaver's song on the piano bears a strong resemblance to the ending of ''[[Wikipedia:Rhapsody in Blue|Rhapsody in Blue]]'' by [[Wikipedia:George Gershwin|George Gershwin]].
*In the toy Easter egg, The "Next Gen Gamepad" on the box for Reynold's brother most closely resembles that of the [[Wikipedia:Super Nintendo Entertainment System|Super NES]], which was considered a next-generation console in the early 1990s. Incidentally, two [[Wikipedia:History of video game consoles (seventh generation)|new game consoles]], the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation 3|PlayStation 3]] and the [[Nintendo]] [[Wikipedia:Wii|Wii]], were released just a few days before this toon.
*Oxi Clean is a brand of general-purpose cleaning products.
*The "no one understands me" song is a parody of punk emo rock, with one of the stereotypical themes of teenage angst being "nobody understands me", and the music and song tone coming from punk rock.

===Fast Forward===
*Reynold's brother makes an appearance again later in [[An Important Rap Song]].
*The Commandos get "another lame Thanksgiving special" in [[Toikey TV]].
*Gunhaver would later be called Charles in [[2 Part Episode: Part 1]].

==DVD Version==
*The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

=== Commentary Transcript ===
('''Commentary by:''' [[Mike Chapman]], [[Matt Chapman]])

'''MATT:''' It's fall!

'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' Look at the— The autumn hills by the Cheat Commandos headquarters!

'''MATT:''' The actual hills have changed color. Oh, the poor green helmets, Mike.

'''MIKE:''' So was there a green helmet version in ''G. I. Joe''? Was there just kind of a generic—

'''MATT:''' ''{overlapping}'' Yeah, there was—

'''MIKE:''' —soldier guy?

'''MATT:''' Mm-hmm. There was just this dude, he— he— he just had a... green... y'know, outfit on and a green helmet and he just— whenever they needed a lot of guys to be running somewhere and didn't want to draw a bunch of different drawings, just a bunch of that guy running in the background.

''{pause as the Commandos leave Gunhaver}''

'''MATT:''' This is kind of sad. Nobody wants to hang out with Gunhaver, Mike.

'''MIKE:''' They seem to enjoy his stories, usually, at the beginning of cartoons.

'''MATT:''' Yeah. When he told Blue Laser that he better break himself?

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, they love that.

'''MATT:''' Ummm... I really like Nana's cottage.

'''MIKE:''' Nana's... got some style.

'''MATT:''' Yeah.

'''MIKE:''' Her backyard's kinda nice.

'''MATT:''' That Blue Laser, uh, solider there is puttin' a nice rub on that turkey.

''{laughing}''

'''MATT:''' On that fully cooked turkey.

'''MIKE:''' Doesn't Bubs rub a chicken at some point?

'''MATT:''' He was shinin' up a chicken.

'''MIKE:''' Shinin' up a chicken.

'''MATT:''' Yeah.

''{pause}''

'''MATT:''' That would be the very— you'd have to send away maybe for the... the Blue Laser trooper with the fork stuck in his eye.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, with some proofs of purchase.

'''MATT:''' It'd be worth way more.

''{pause}''

'''MIKE:''' Don't— don't you have a scarf like that—

'''MATT:''' ''{overlapping}'' I do!

'''MIKE:''' —in the background?

'''MATT:''' It sorta looks like a... a Gryfindor scarf, Mike.

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughing}'' Mmmhmmm.

'''MATT:''' But I think those are crimson and gold.

'''MIKE:''' And who— who is that? Is that Ripberger?

'''MATT:''' That's Ripberger, Mike! This is his first appearance! He was only available with... two proofs of purchase.

'''MIKE:''' The Ripbergers lived behind us in Indiana.

'''MATT:''' That's true. Bill Ripberger. He's the only Ripberger I remember—

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughing}''

'''MATT:''' —by name.

''{pause as Gunhaver salutes "The Flag"}''

'''MATT:''' The Flag!

''{pause}''

'''MIKE:''' So they're talking about what they're thankful for here.

'''MATT:''' Yeah, what are you thankful for, Mike, on this... this nice day? In September.

'''MIKE:''' Ummmm...

'''MATT:''' It's almost your birthday.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah. I'm thankful that tomorrow I'm gonna get a bunch of awesome presents.

'''MATT:''' Yeah?

'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' Yeah.

'''MATT:''' From— from who?

'''MIKE:''' Uh... My daughter—

'''MATT:''' ''{laughing}'' Yeah, your one-year-old?

'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' You... My daughter...

'''MATT:''' —the dogs?

''{pause}''

'''MATT:''' What else, Mike? We're listening to it again—

'''MIKE:''' Uh yeah—Yeah! Sometimes I just get mesmerized by our hilarious cartoons and I just have to watch them.

'''MATT:''' That fork in his eye is gross.

'''MIKE:''' This is the extra depressing too—

'''MATT:''' ''{overlapping}'' Oh this is my favorite part right here!

''{pause}''

'''MATT:''' ''{laughing}'' Yeah I should go too! Somehow he interpreted that as he had to go...

'''MIKE:''' ''{sigh}''

'''MATT:''' So, but if Blue Laser is at Nana's who is— Who are the green helmets fighting?

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughing}'' I never thought of that!

'''MATT:''' Because both... both forces the leaders are main people—

'''MIKE:''' They're— They're fighting the Dreadnought.

'''MATT:''' Yeah?

'''MIKE:''' Is that what they were called?

'''MATT:''' The Dreadnoughts.

'''MIKE:''' Dreadnoughts. They were just kinda the middle-in-between, can be good, can be bad—

'''MATT:''' Yeah they kinda were mainly bad.

'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' Oh, okay.

'''MATT:''' They, they, they were—

'''MIKE:''' But they weren't Cobra, right?

'''MATT:''' They were supposed to be for hire! They were supposed to be mercenaries.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah.

'''MATT:''' But G. I. Joe ''{laughing}'' never really took advantage of their services.

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughing}''

'''MATT:''' Uh, so that way we just address my favorite thing in, in old cartoons. Where they show you a scene, and then the good guys or the bad guys would just be watching that scene—

'''MIKE:''' Right.

'''MATT:''' —of the opposing team. From the exact same viewpoint.

'''BOTH:''' ''{laughing}''

'''MIKE:''' Right.

'''MATT:''' And it would change angles too. That was the best part, where it was like, do they have a producer? I think we've talked about that before.

''{pause}''

'''MIKE:''' How did he get inside that turkey, man? That's gross.

''{pause}''

'''MATT:''' Charles Gunhaver.

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughing}''

'''MATT:''' I love the idea, he's like the, just the perfect alpha bear, like comes home with the family and even knows how to play little songs, like "Let's all gather around!"

'''MIKE:''' Did we give a name to that little, uh... little Dickens's's boy?

'''MATT:''' Yeah, I think so. Isn't there— there's an Easter egg with him in it.

'''MIKE:''' Oh is there? Oh, okay! It's, it's, it's his figure.

'''MATT:''' Yeah. Maybe, someday, I'll watch that and find out what his name is.

''{laughing}''

'''MATT:''' Lil' Steiny— look at that. That's a good joke, Mike. Steinway pianos. Look, Ripberger's on the ceiling like ninja's— like a red ninja should be.

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughing}''

'''MATT:''' That ninja's not going to blend in with anything, Mike.

'''MIKE:''' Except, perhaps, a red ceiling.

'''MATT:''' Looks like a red, latex catsuit thing.

'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' Yeah. It looks like pretty thick latex too.

''{pause}''

'''MATT:''' Reynold's brother! Nice 'stache!

'''MIKE:''' He has a pierced... point of his... cheatness.

'''MATT:''' What is he playing? It looks like he's playing Road Rash. On the Genesis.

''{pause}''

'''MATT:''' Thanks. Giving.

{{dvdproofread}}

===Fun Facts===
*The line of Gunhaver telling Blue Laser to "break himself" refers to the opening scene in [[Shopping for Danger]].
*Bubs was "shinin' up a chicken" in [[lunch special]].
*[[Wikipedia:Road Rash|Road Rash]] is a game for the [[Wikipedia:Sega Genesis|Sega Genesis]]/Sega MegaDrive where you race on motorcycles and knock other racers off their motorcycles by punching them or using clubs.
===Fast Forward===
*The idea of a mercenary group that wasn't officially on either side was later used in [[2 Part Episode, Part 2]] with the [[Topplegangers]].

==External Links==
{{extlinks|ccdo5|10241|youtube=cEg2ad5bcy0}}
*[[Mirror:ccdo5.html|watch toon with "floating lime" goof]] (mirror)
*[[Mirror:ccdo5.swf|watch the Flash file with the "floating lime" goof]] (mirror)

{{CheatCommandos}}

[[Category:Thanksgiving]]
[[Category:Cheat Commandos]]
[[Category:DVD Commentary]]

Peasant's Quest Animatic

2019-07-15T14:20:41Z

President Cold One: /* Visuals */

[[Image:Peasants Quest Animatic.PNG|200px|thumb|And the low quality graphics come in the night...]]
The [[Peasant's Quest Movie Trailer]], done [[Peasant's Quest|in game graphics]] (mostly).

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Rather Dashing}}, {{Film|Kerrek}}, [[Jhonka]], [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]], {{Film|Videlectrix Mascot}}, [[Poor Gary]], [[King of Peasantry]], {{Film|Trogdor}}, [[Baby Lady & Her Baby]], [[Mendelev]], [[Dongolev]], [[Naked Ned]], [[Pterodactyl]], [[The Three Keepers of Trogdor]]

{{dvd|exclusive=TRUE|Everything Else, Volume 1}}
{{clear}}
== Visuals ==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=3 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Transcript !! Movie Trailer !! Animatic
|-
| '''NARRATOR:''' It began— || The words "It Began..." appear on the screen in Gothic text. || The words "It Began..." appear on the screen in the [[font]] Commodore 64.
|-
| —as the best selling video computer TV game of all time. Uh—Not really— || The words "Not Really," appear on the screen in the same font as before. || The words "Not Really," appear on the screen in the same font as before.
|-
| —but still. || The words "But Still." appear, again in the same font as before. || The words "But Still." appear, again in the same font as before.
|-
| A simple peasant wearing short pants quested his way into the heart of the nation. Now, for his greatest adventure yet, he will quest...INTO THEATERS!! || Cut to a shot of the Peasant's Quest video game. The camera zooms in on Rather Dashing. || Cut to the same shot of the Peasant's Quest video game. The camera stays where it is.
|-
| '''RATHER DASHING:''' Where's my cottage? || The video game Rather Dashing fades into a live action version of himself. He looks around. || Rather Dashing turns to the right, and to the left.
|-
| '''RATHER DASHING:''' TROGDOR!!! || Fade through black to Rather Dashing standing in front of his burninated cottage. || Fade through black to Rather Dashing standing in front of his burninated cottage.
|-
| || A few random scenes pass on by, before the Videlectrix logo shows up. It is soon modified to "Videlectrix Films". Cut to the throne room. || A few random scenes pass on by, before the Videlectrix logo shows up. The Videlectrix Mascot is leaning on the logo and smoking, as in [[Peasant's Quest Preview]]. Cut to a [http://www.adventureclassicgaming.com/index.php/gallery/image/855/ throne room] from [[Wikipedia:King's Quest I: Quest for the Crown|King's Quest I]]. Rather Dashing is in front of the King of Peasantry.
|-
| '''KING OF PEASANTRY:''' We have coexisted with the Burninator in these lands for centuries. || Quick clips of a map of Peasantry and peasants being terrorized by a CGI Trogdor pass by. || Quick clips of the in game map of Peasantry and the game [[TROGDOR!]] pass by.
|-
| '''KING OF PEASANTRY:''' I can't have you marching up there in your short pants upsetting the balance! '''RATHER DASHING:''' I'll upset ''your'' balance, my lord! '''KING OF PEASANTRY:''' Rather Dashing, you will not sass back at this council! || Cut back to the throne room. || Cut back to the throne room.
|-
| '''NARRATOR:''' From the sort of people who brought you Trogdor and Litigation Jackson... || Rather Dashing walks up to Poor Gary. || Rather Dashing walks up to Poor Gary.
|-
| '''RATHER DASHING:''' Easy now, Gary, I'm just going to WEAR MASK. || Rather Dashing puts on the mask and scares Poor Gary away. || Rather Dashing puts on the mask and Poor Gary runs through the fence.
|-
| '''BABY LADY:''' Show me you're a real man, Rather Dashing. || Shows close up of the Baby Lady, then shows Rather Dashing gulping. || Rather Dashing standing in the Baby Lady's house.
|-
| '''RATHER DASHING:''' THROW BABY. || Rather Dashing looks at baby, then throws it in lake. || Rather Dashing pulls the baby out of his pocket, then throws it in lake.
|-
| '''MENDELEV AND DONGOLEV:''' Haldo! || They say "Haldo!", then raise their arms up as a gesture of some sort. || Mendelev and Dongolev sitting at the Archery Mini-Game Stand.
|-
| '''MENDELEV:''' I'm Mendelev! '''DONGOLEV:''' I'm Dongolev! || Mendelev jumps from behind a tree, says his line, then Dongolev does the same, only jumping to the other side. || Same scene as before.
|-
| || Naked Ned pokes out his head from behind a tree. || Naked Ned pokes out his head from behind a tree.
|-
| '''BLUE KNIGHT:''' Rather Dashing? More like, rather homely. || After saying "Rather Dashing", the knight lifts the visor on his helmet up. || The knight talks to Rather Dashing.
|-
| || Rather Dashing eating a meatball sub. || Rather Dashing sitting under a tree. An image of a meatball sub, along with the in-game description, is visible.
|-
| '''NARRATOR:''' A Trog-venture for the whole family! || Rather Dashing is shooting arrows, with Dongolev mentoring him. || Dongolev is shooting arrows at a tree as Rather Dashing watches.
|-
| || Rather Dashing runs out of the inn with a pot stuck over his head. He runs into the inn and collapses. || Rather Dashing flails around in front of the inn, with a pot stuck over his head.
|-
| || The Jhonka jumps around in front of his cave. || The Jhonka jumps around in front of his cave.
|-
| '''RATHER DASHING:''' I'm just so mad at Trogdor. || Rather Dashing is seated between Mendelev and Dongolev, talking to them. || Rather Dashing is talking to Mendelev and Dongolev at the Archery Stand.
|-
| '''BLUE KNIGHT:''' Access to Trogdor is strictly for peasants! || Blue Knight is talking to Rather Dashing, who adopts an exaggerated crestfallen look. || Blue Knight is talking to Rather Dashing.
|-
| '''RATHER DASHING:''' He just goes around burning things and doesn't even care! || Cut back to Rather Dashing between Mendelev and Dongolev. || Cut back to Rather Dashing at the Archery Stand.
|-
| '''BLUE KNIGHT:''' You don't smell like a peasant... || Cut back to the Blue Knight talking to Rather Dashing. || Cut back to the Blue Knight talking to Rather Dashing.
|-
| || The Kerrek's face fills the screen as he walks towards Rather Dashing, who looks up nervously. He bonks Rather Dashing over the head. Abrupt cut to Rather Dashing standing in the rain, holding up the Kerrek's belt and screaming. || The Kerrek walks towards Rather Dashing, then pounds him into the ground. Abrupt cut to Rather Dashing standing over the arrow'd Kerrek, holding up his belt.
|-
| '''BLUE KNIGHT:''' You don't dress like a peasant... || Cut back to the Blue Knight talking to Rather Dashing. || Cut back to the Blue Knight talking to Rather Dashing.
|-
| || Rather Dashing is locked in combat with the Jhonka. || The Jhonka repeatedly bashes Rather Dashing with its club.
|-
| || Rather Dashing raises the hood of the stolen peasant's robe. || Rather Dashing, standing in front of Naked Ned's house, puts on Ned's robe.
|-
| '''BLUE KNIGHT:''' And you're certainly not on fire like a peasant! || Cut back to the Blue Knight talking to Rather Dashing. His visor flips down as he says "peasant." || Cut back to the Blue Knight talking to Rather Dashing.
|-
| '''NARRATOR:''' A quest for adventure! || Rather Dashing is climbing up the cliff leading to Trogdor's Cave. || Rather Dashing is climbing up the cliff leading to Trogdor's Cave.
|-
| '''NARRATOR:''' A quest for revenge! || Rather Dashing makes his way to the top of the cliff and approaches Trogdor's Cave. || Rather Dashing is standing outside Trogdor's Cave.
|-
| || Trogdor is shown breathing fire. The Keepers of Trogdor raise their arms and scream. || Trogdor is shown breathing fire. The Keepers of Trogdor raise their arms and scream.
|-
| '''NARRATOR:''' A quest for a peasant! Peasant's Quest! || Rather Dashing walks up the cliff and raises the Trogsword, which gleams. The scene freezes as "Peasant's Quest" appears. The scene resumes after Peasant's Quest disappears, and Rather Dashing eventually loses his balance and lets the sword fall. || Rather Dashing stands in front of Trogdor's cave, holding the Trogsword. He raises it into the air, and it gleams. The scene freezes as "Peasant's Quest" appears. When it disappears, Rather Dashing eventually lowers the sword.
|-
| || The Credits scene for the Peasant's Quest movie is shown. || A similar scene is shown, but it simply says "Peasant's Quest. Programmed by [[Jonathan Howe]]. Videlectrix 1987
|-
| '''KING OF PEASANTRY:''' And the Trogdor comes... in the night. || The King is shown speaking. || Cut back to the King's Throne Room.
|-
| '''RATHER DASHING:''' Not tonight he doesn't! ...Come... in the night... Trogdor. || Rather Dashing stands in front of a fiery background wielding the Trogsword. || Rather Dashing stands between two pillars of flame, holding the Trogsword.
|-
| || Trogdor is shown breathing fire at the camera. || Trogdor is shown breathing fire.
|-
| || The screen cuts to black, with only "Peasant's Quest" showing. || The screen cuts to black, with only "Peasant's Quest" showing.
|}

== See Also ==
*[[Everything Else, Volume 1]]

{{Peasant's Quest}}

[[Category: Peasant's Quest]] [[Category: Everything Else DVD]]

Math Kickers

2019-07-13T09:28:25Z

President Cold One: /* How To Play */

[[Image:MathKickers.png|thumb|left|When are video games gonna learn; you can't learn from video games!]]
[[Image:MathKickerstitlecard.png|thumb|0.7 times more fun than doing actual math!]]
[[Image:MathKickersboxmockup.jpg|thumb|We must restore balance!]]
'''Math Kickers featuring the Algebros''' is a mini-game from [[Videlectrix]] in ''[[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]]'s'' [[Strong Badia The Free]]. The cover art for the fictional box of the game features two martial arts fighters in a city-themed background, a kid smiling in the foreground, and another martial arts fighter over a quadratic formula in the sky.

In the game, you play as two fighters, Dex and Ryu, facing back to back. Dex subtracts and Ryu will add, and the goal is to fight Ninjas and attack number bosses.

A score of 2000 is required for your Awesomeness rank.
{{clear|left}}
==Controls==
<table>
<autocolumn cols="2" width="50%">
===Wii Controls===
''Hold The Wii Remote Sideways''

:+Control Pad: Moves Dex/Ryu
:1: Dex Attack
:2: Ryu Attack
:+: Start the Game
:-: Quit the Game

===PC Controls===
:Arrows: Move Dex/Ryu
:Z: Dex Attack
:X: Ryu Attack
:S: Start the Game
:Q: Quit the Game
:Spacebar: Pause the Game
</autocolumn>
</table>

===PlayStation 3 Controls===
:D-Pad/Left Thumbstick: Move Dex/Ryu
:X/L1: Dex Attack
:O/R1: Ryu Attack
:X: Start the Game
:Select: Pause the Game
:Start: Quit the Game

==How To Play==
Dex's attacks subtract ninjas from his side. Ryu's Energy Ball Attack adds ninjas to his side. The idea is to restore the balance by making it so there's an equal amount of ninjas on each side.

Example:
:3 Ninjas on Left, 1 Ninja on Right: 3 ≠ 1
:Dex subtracts one Ninja from his side: 3 - 1 ≠ 1
:Ryu adds one Ninja to his side: 3 - 1 = 1 + 1

When the Balance is restored, all the Ninjas will disappear, and Dex and Ryu can move on.

After several waves of Ninjas, Dex and Ryu will split up for a boss battle against a [[Wikipedia:quadratic equation|quadratic equation]]. Attack the quadratic equation up on the sidewalk, then, run down to the street when it rises up to slam down into the ground.

As you level up, the going gets tougher, as the Ninjas and Bosses get stronger.

You start the game with 6 "Bros" and lose a Bro every time Dex or Ryu take damage from the ninjas, who throw mathematical operators at you, or if you get crushed by the boss. When all your bros are gone, your game is over.

==Manual==
<div style="margin: 1px; color: #70a9c3; width: 180px; height: 250px; border: solid #70a9c3 7px; padding: 0px 0px 0px; float: left;">
<div style="width: 180px; background-color: #70a9c3; text-align: center; color: #fff; padding: 0px 0px 0px;">
'''MATH KICKERS''' 
'''Featuring the ALGEBROS'''
</div>
<div style="padding-left: 8px;">
notes 
<hr style="position: absolute; top: 0px; width: 152px; color: #70a9c3;">
<div style="color: #000; font-size: 145%; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS', cursive">
 
Logarithm Attack 
← ↓ → ↑ Dex
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="width: 15px; float: left;"></div>
<div style="margin: 1px; color: #70a9c3; width: 180px; height: 250px; border: solid #70a9c3 7px; padding: 0px 0px 0px; float: left;">
<div style="width: 180px; background-color: #70a9c3; text-align: center; color: #fff; padding: 0px 0px 0px;">
'''MATH KICKERS''' 
'''Featuring the ALGEBROS'''
</div>
<div style="padding-left: 8px;">
notes 
<hr style="position: absolute; top: 0px; width: 152px; color: #70a9c3;">
<div style="color: #000; font-size: 145%; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS', cursive">
 
Polar Coordinates 
→ ↑ ← Dex, Ryu
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="width: 15px; float: left;"></div>
<div style="margin: 1px; color: #70a9c3; width: 180px; height: 250px; border: solid #70a9c3 7px; padding: 0px 0px 0px; float: left;">
<div style="width: 180px; background-color: #70a9c3; text-align: center; color: #fff; padding: 0px 0px 0px;">
'''MATH KICKERS''' 
'''Featuring the ALGEBROS'''
</div>
<div style="padding-left: 8px;">
notes 
<hr style="position: absolute; top: 0px; width: 152px; color: #70a9c3;">
<div style="color: #000; font-size: 145%; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS', cursive">
 
Divide By Zero 
← → ← → Ryu
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="clear: both;"></div>

==Fun Facts==

===Goofs===
[[Image:Uber-Pope.png|thumb|Uber-Pope]]
*Math Kickers has a bug in it that causes a secret rank to occur ([]ber/Uber-Pope) See [http://www.telltalegames.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6585 here].
*If the player uses Polar Coordinates while a ninja is being added from Ryu's attack, Polar Coordinates will destroy all but one of the ninjas on Dex's side, and all but one of the ninjas ''not including the one being added'' on Ryu's side. The result is one ninja on Dex's side but two on Ryu's side. The game will automatically reduce the player's "Bro" count to zero as the screen is now unsolvable without special moves.

===Glitches===
*Math Kickers has a bug that occurs frequently in the game, where it will stop responding to directional buttons and attacks, only allowing you to pause or quit the game.
**When this happens, quit out of the current game (on Math Kickers) and quit out of the Fun Machine to go back to Strong Bad's room. Restart the game, and it should work (for now).
*PC and PlayStation 3 versions only: Pausing the game and entering the command for Polar Coordinates will cause Polar Coordinates to be performed as soon as the game is unpaused. Since enemy attacks are frozen while paused, and Dex and Ryu are invincible when performing Polar Coordinates, this essentially allows the player to get an infinite amount of points.
*Sometimes, when playing the Polar Coordinates attack, the Polar Coordinates attack logo will appear and Strong Bad will say "Polar Coordinates!..." but the ninjas will not freeze and remain the same.
**Also, when playing the Polar Coordinates attack, ninjas will disappear to leave one per side, but they will not cancel. You will need to play the Polar Coordinates attack again to get rid of them.

===Real-World References===
*The game strongly resembles ''[[Wikipedia:Double Dragon (video game)|Double Dragon]]'' for [[Nintendo]].
*The name "Ryu" is likely a reference to [[Street Fighter]].

{{SBCG4AP}}
{{VidelectrixGames}}
[[Category:Videlectrix Games]]