Homestar Runner Wiki - User contributions [en]

homestar hair

AWM2004 — Sun, 02 Oct 2022 18:32:05 GMT

AWM2004: /* YouTube Version */

{{sbenav}}

[[Image:sbemail4.PNG|thumb|"How come you people never play my game, man?"]]

Instead of a regular message, Strong Bad receives a [[Hairstyle Runner]] design.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]]

{{Comp|Tandy 400}}

'''Date:''' Thursday, September 27, 2001 

'''Running Time:''' 0:55

'''Page Title:''' Tandy 400!!!

{{dvd|strongbad_email.exe Disc One}}

'''SBEmail Menu Description:''' When he gets an email meant for Homestar, Strong Bad becomes "all cheesed off" as the kids say... in the 50's maybe.

== Transcript ==

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing, types "run Strongbad's__email"}'' I check the email once, I check the email twice, doo doo doo, doo doo doo...'' {stops singing}'' Okay, let's see what we got here...

<blockquote class="short tandy email">Homestar Hair<br />
downloading...</blockquote>

'''STRONG BAD:''' Home...star...Hair...? What the...

''{A graphic from Hairstyle Runner appears, with oddly shaped hair, sideburns and an outline of a beard.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh man! I swear if I get another one of these ''{types "delete that crap"}'' freakin' "Hairstyle Runners" from one of you guys,—

''{The image shrinks until it disappears, and a message reading "crap deleted." appears onscreen.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' —I'm gonna have to start busting some heads, okay? I mean, how come you people never play ''my'' game, man? I never get any Strong Libs in my email. I mean, there's this whole game out there that's all for me that you guys can fill out, you know, and like, send me some hilarious crap or something. Now you got me all cheesed off! I'm gonna play some "Temple of Apshai". ''{types "run"temple__of__apshai""}'' Forget you guys. ''{brings up Temple of Apshai}''

''{Temple of Apshai features a little white warrior walking back and forth in a pink-walled 8-bit dungeon with a blue monster and a green box. To the right are a bunch of statistics. [[The Paper]] comes down.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, my hit points are, like, inexcusable in this dungeon, man. I need to find some elixir or something.

== Fun Facts ==
===Trivia===
*The text on the Temple of Apshai game is as follows. Note that some characters are obscured by Strong Bad's head and others are uncertain, as the font contains many identical-looking characters.
<blockquote class="email">
<p style="padding-left: 30em">
ROOM NO=28<br>
WOUNDS= 91%<br>
FATIGUE=97%<br>
WEIGHT= 87<br><br>
ARROWS=    97<br>
MAG ARROWS  9<br>
SKELETON<br>
APPEARS!<br>
TOTAL SLAIN<br>
9
</p>
</blockquote>

*This is the only email that is not a letter of some kind, and the first one to feature an attachment.
*This is the first time Strong Bad deleted something in anger, although we don't see the now-standard "[[DELETED]]" screen.
*It is also the first Strong Bad Email to feature dialogue that takes place after The Paper comes down.
*This is also the first instance of Strong Bad's computer [[Strong Bad's Computers Surpassing Their Assumed Capabilities|exceeding its technical boundaries]] — in this case, displaying Temple of Apshai and the Hairstyle Runner in full color and resolution on a supposedly monochrome monitor.
*This is the first email to use the word "[[crap]]".

===Remarks===
*When Strong Bad is playing Temple of Apshai, his figure keeps moving in the same pattern.

=== Inside References ===
*The game Strong Bad refers to as his game is [[Strong Libs]].

===Real-World References===
*[[Wikipedia:Temple of Apshai|''Temple of Apshai'']] is a real role-playing computer game from [[Wikipedia:Epyx|Epyx]].

== DVD Version ==
*The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

=== Commentary Transcript ===
('''Commentary by:''' [[Mike Chapman]], [[Matt Chapman]])

'''MATT:''' This has a big inconsistency in it with the abilities of his old computer—

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughs}'' Yeah, displaying the color picture.

'''MATT:''' Yeah. Not only can it display JPEGs, it can display a full-color one. Yeah. And there's also a reference to, uh, to Strong Bad Libs in it, huh?

'''MIKE:''' Yeah. We still occasionally get a Strong Bad Lib if someone's watched this email and then...

'''MATT:''' And then does one.

''{long pause}''

'''MATT:''' Say—

'''MIKE:''' Not a lot of animation going on in this one.

'''MATT:''' Yeah, this was, uh...

'''MIKE:''' This one would probably take us— we could probably do this in under 20 minutes nowadays.

'''MATT:''' ''{laughs a little}'' Probabl—

'''MIKE:''' It probably took us 6 hours at the time, but...

'''MATT:''' Yep. And then now here it's color, color for Temple of Apshai, too.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah.

'''MATT:''' Why? I mean, he could be playing, like, Final Fantasy on this according to—

'''MIKE:''' That's a skeleton. That's a skeleton. That blue, isn't that? Isn't that the skeletons from—

'''MATT:''' Yeah. I always thought it looked like that blue thing, you know, ''{quickly}'' The Close Encounters of the Third Ki—

=== Fun Facts ===
*Matt mentions [[Wikipedia:Final Fantasy|Final Fantasy]], a popular series of role-playing games created by [[Wikipedia:Square Enix|Square Enix]] (formerly [[Wikipedia:Square (video game company)|Squaresoft]]).
*Matt also references [[imdb:tt0075860|Close Encounters of the Third Kind]], a science fiction movie about alien abductions directed by [[Steven Spielberg]].

==YouTube Version==
*At the start of the email, the Windows XP "Hardware Remove" sound can be heard briefly.

== External Links ==
{{sbemailextlinks|4|youtube=jxkUl-JFdIo}}

{{Strong Bad Email}}

[[Category:Tandy 400 Emails]]
[[Category:Emails With DVD Commentary]]

8-Bit is Enough Responses (House of Strong)

AWM2004 — Sat, 01 Oct 2022 16:20:02 GMT

AWM2004: /* When deleting e-mails */

[[Image:Sbcg4ap105 ghosts.png|thumb| "Why do all you video game types always talk in lame clues?"]]
[[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]] has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from [[House of the Brothers Strong|House of Strong]] in [[8-Bit Is Enough]].

{{SBCG4AP Responses notation legend}}

==Game Introduction==
:'''ANNOUNCER:''' Previously, on ''Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People'' ''{pronounced "pepple"}''...
''{The game begins where [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]] finished off - the outcry at the end of the film's premiere.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Uh-oh, this is starting to turn into an unruly mob. And not the good kind like I start at Strong Sad's poetry readings. For REAL this time: Looks like I'm gonna have to jump!
:''{Strong Bad proceeds to jump over the crowd. Cue freeze frame mid-jump.}''
:'''ANNOUNCER:''' And now, the conclusion of ''Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People'' ''{pronounced "pepple" again}''.
:''{The result of Strong Bad's jump leaves him crashing into the Trogdor arcade cabinet. Sparks start flying from the machine, causing everyone to look towards it. Worried about what would happen, they all start fleeing the basement... all but Strong Sad. Noticing this, Strong Bad quickly stands back up.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' NOW look what you did, Dumpalumpa! The Trogdor machine is ruined!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' What ''I'' did? This thing hasn't worked for months! Besides, YOU broke it! Everybody saw!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Look, this is no time to be pointing fat, doughy fingers. This is the time for YOU to figure out how you're going to fix it!
:''{A roar is heard from inside the machine.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What the crap was that?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' It sounds like the fan's broken! You'll have to get it serviced.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{annoyed}'' Serviced?!? Where am I supposed to get fan service around here?
:''{A one-sound-channel variant on Trogdor's theme is heard as wings sprout from the top of the cabinet, legs form at the bottom and a beefy arm sticks out from one of the cabinet's sides. The heavy metal version of the theme fades in as it starts chasing Strong Sad out of the room.}''
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{flees}'' Ahhhhhh!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{approaches the basement door in awe}'' That may be... the coolest thing... that has ever happened.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{off-screen}'' Ahhh! Help!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{leaves the basement, excited}'' Oh, I gotta see this!

==Basement==
===Box===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Wonder what's in the box that ghost was pointing out. ''{Looks under the box; cue prompt for the Cheat Commandos action figure found}''

===Colonial Ghost===
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #4:''' One if by land, two if by sea. Bring one to me!

====8-Bit Lantern → Colonial Ghost====
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #4:''' Hey, great! My lantern! Thanks, man! I'm Paul Revere!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, I wanna ask you a question.
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #4:''' Yeah, not to be rude, but I gotta split! These British people are coming, and I really should tell everybody about it. Thanks again for the lantern!
:''{Colonial Ghost #4 disappears}''

====Any other item → Colonial Ghost====
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #4:''' No, that can't even hold a candle to the object I'm looking for! The clues don't get any clearer than this!

===Couch===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Couch, I think you should be in your ''own'' video game: "Couch Quest: The Search for My Butt"!

===TV===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ooo, it's time for the 8-hour cartoon block of "Videlectrix Saturday Mornideo Games"! This is the one where some real-world kids get sucked into some video game. Ridiculous.

==Bathroom==

===Box===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Wow, I never noticed that box until that friendly ghost pointed it out to me! ''{Looks under the box, finds Stinkoman's boots}'' Stinkoman's whole-lot-cooler robot boots! Now I can totally fly around in space in cool action poses! ''{Strikes a pose}''

===Mirror===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary! Bloody Mary!
:''{Strong Bad looks ahead in silence.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, those ghost stories never wor-
:'''JIBBLIES PAINTING''' ''{suddenly appears from behind}'' Come on in here!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{turns around to face the painting}'' A-jibblie-jibblie-jibblie-jibblie! ''{calms down}'' How does it DO that?
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No way, man. Don't know WHAT could be staring back at me.

===Shower===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I used to like playing "Guess who's hiding outside the shower with a knife" with Strong Sad, until that time he panicked and ran around the house all naturale. ''{disgusted}'' Some things were not meant to be seen.

===Sink===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Those cabinets are empty. We used the last of the toilet paper dressing Strong Mad up as "Squarehotep: The vengeful mummy".

===Toilet===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' If I gaze too long into the abyss, the abyss gazes back at me. And asks to be sanitized.

==Computer Room==
===Colonial Ghost===
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #3:''' I unlocked the door to electricity... using a kite. It's a metaphor, work with me here.

====8-Bit Key → Colonial Ghost====
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #3:''' You have found it! I am free once again! I am Ben Franklin! Thank you, citizen!
:''{Colonial Ghost #3 disappears}''

====Any other item → Colonial Ghost====
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #3:''' That is not the object I'm looking for! Apparently you haven't unlocked my insultingly obvious riddle!

===Calendar===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I gotta replace this thing with a To-Do list. 1: Save world from dragon. 2: Make To-Do list. 3: Buy socks.

===Floppy Disks===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I better keep these disks locked up in case any more videogames come to life.

===Lappy 486===
:''{While the ghost sprites are roaming around the house}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No way am I going near the Lappy while the house is haunted. ''{turns to the camera}'' I could get sucked into the screen or something.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{pops up}'' I heard that's how the Bad Graphics Ghost started! ''{vanishes}''
:{{short hr}}
:''{Using the Lappy at any other time would take the player directly to the '''Strong Bad Emails'''.}''

===Light Switch===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{flicks the switch off and on}'' Whooo, interactivity!
:{{short hr}}
:''{When the house is "haunted"}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{as Dangeresque}'' That's a good idea. But it's wrong.

===Power Cord===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Nah, the Lappy's battery lasts about 45 seconds these days. Those EGA graphics don't come cheap, man.

===Rave Switch===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... a very special lightswitch rave.
:''{Strong Bad does the usual lightswitch rave, but instead of using ''The System Is Down'' as backing music, ''Trogdor'' is heard in the background.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' And the Trogdor comes... in the night.
:{{short hr}}
:''{When the house is "haunted"}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{as Dangeresque}'' That's a good idea. But it's wrong.

===Sign===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm thinking of revising my no loafing policy. Maybe allow loafing during designated hours, or with the express written consent of Major League Baseball.

===Stool===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{walks away from the stool}'' Don't tell Stooly I said this, but he's getting a ferocious case of the... ''{emphasized dramatically}'' ...SBEMAIL BOTTOM STANK.

==Hallway==
===Colonial Ghost===
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #1:''' I dropped mine into the bay! And then I invented beer, or something.

'''Plays the first time Strong Bad speaks to a ghost'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Why do you video game types always talk in lame clues? Why don't you just tell me what you're looking for?
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #1:''' We get more screen time this way!
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #3:''' Triple scale for each spoken line of dialog!
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #4:''' What he said!

====8-Bit Teabag → Colonial Ghost====
:''{Seen only during the "Spirits of '76" game}''
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #1:''' You have found it! I am free once again! I am Samuel Adams! Cheers!
:''{Colonial Ghost #1 disappears}''

====Any other item → Colonial Ghost====
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #1:''' That's not the item I'm looking for. Ahem! I could give you a clue if I weren't so thirsty!

==Kitchen==
===Cereal===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I gotta choke down the rest of that box of Cheat Commandos-Os sometime. Just 23 more box tops, and I can get the free junkyard submarine playset!

===Fridge===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{opens the fridge door, revealing it to be empty}'' Empty. Fridge, I think you should be in your own videogame: "Fridge Quest: The Search for Serving a Purpose!" ''{slams the door shut}''

===Go Outside===
:'''Before getting the key from Strong Sad'''
::'''STRONG SAD:''' Where are you going? You can't take on Trogdor without calling product support first! You'll void your warran-tee! And maybe your bladder!

:'''After getting the key'''
::''{The Trogdor cabinet noticed Strong Bad's presence and flees. Strong Bad proceeds to chase it.}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey! Come back here!
::''{The player is automatically taken to the Field at this point.}''

===Strong Sad===
:'''Only present until Strong Bad replaces the Trogdor machine's logic board'''

:''{First time only}''
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You're finally here! Help me shore up our defenses in case he comes back!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, what happened to Trogdor? I expected to see him pummeling and/or burninating you by now.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I told him my plant Charlemagne was a defenseless peasant baby and threw it out the window! When he went after it, I locked the door behind him! That thing is out of control! You've got to get a new logic board and stop him!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Stop him? No, no... it's pronounced "cheer - him - on"! ''{does curved hand gestures on his last line}''

:'''At intervals when in the scene'''
::'''STRONG SAD:''' Bar the doors! He'll kill us all!

====Strong Sad → Trogdor====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Did you see where Trogdor went?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' He's still outside, just waiting for us to let our guard down!

====Strong Sad → Strong Sad====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' So you finally found a way to put that dead plant out of my misery, huh?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{subdued}'' Charlemagne went out a true hero, defending our house with his final act. He would've wanted it that way.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{surprised}'' Charlemagne was a ''he''?

====Strong Sad → Logic Board====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What's this "logic board" you're babbling about?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' When you broke the machine-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{interrupts}'' We never established who broke what!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' -you must've damaged the 8-Bit Containment field! You'll have to call Videlectrix for a replacement. It's the only way for Trogdor to get safely back into the game!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Why would I want to get him BACK in the game? Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to have my own dragon?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' If Trogdor gets free, the videogame world and the real world will merge! Imagine hearing the repetitive, monophonic music of 8-bit games wherever you are, every second, for the rest of your life!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, I know! That sounds awesome!
:''{Strong Sad then imitates 8-bit videogame music himself, finally annoying Strong Bad on its fourth repetition.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{bitterly}'' All right, I'll fix the machine.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' How am I supposed to get one of those "logic board" things?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You've got to call Videlectrix and order a replacement! Don't you still have Homestar's phone? That you stole? A few months ago? In your room?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{enlightened}'' That's right! Man, it's hard to keep up with all the stuff I steal. I should start keepin' a spreadsheet... or a bedsheet... Fredsheet?

====Strong Bad → Cancel====
:''{First time only}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Wait here, DumpyKong Jr. I've got a reanimated arcade machine to take care of.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Just you? You'd have to be some type of idiot to take on Trogdor alone!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What? You said all I have to do is replace some kind of logic board and everything'd be fine. I just need to remember where I put the key to open the Trogdor machine, then grab a logic board somewhere and pop it in! How hard can ''that'' be?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Plenty! But since you never listen to me and you're probably going to do it anyway, take this case key. ''{reveals the key}'' It's the only way to open the cabinet.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{pinches the key}'' Wait, you've had MY key that opens the Trogdor cabinet this whole time?!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Well, yes, but I was only holding onto it for you so that you wouldn't lose it like you did with your baby blankey and...
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{interrupts}'' Shut up. Shut up nine times.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I can't stand around talking to you. I've got to go vanquish the dragon.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Well, all right. But wash your hands this time!

==Laundry Room==
===8-Bit Artifact===
:''{Seen only during the "Spirits of '76" game; it's an old key}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's an old-timey key! Just look at that resolution!
:''{He takes it}''

===Dryer===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Someday I'm gonna learn not to give The Cheat a ride in the dryer on Tacos 'n' Gravy night.

===Pennants===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' My CGNU class reunion is in two weeks! I better get working on that novel! And marriage. And hair implants. And build that particle accelerator.
:{{short hr}}
:''{After you remove the ghosts from the house}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' From now on, the only kind of spirit I want to see in this house is ''school'' spirit! ''{The following text appears onscreen, and an instrumental version of [[Please Stop Trying to Handle My Style]] plays}''
<blockquote>STRONG BAD'S cool GAME<br>
for ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE<br>
<br>
Directed .......... [[Cherry Greg]]
<br>
Written ........... [[A. Chimendez]]
<br>
Story .... [[Lem Sportsinterviews|"Lem" Sportsinterviews]]
<br>
Visual fx ........ [[The Cheat]]
<br>
Sounds & Smells ....... [[Strong Sad]]
<br>
Props ............ [[Douglas]]
<br>
Unfunnyness .......... [[Levert Burtmore]]
<br>
Slam Dunks ............ [[The Deke]]
<br>
Best Dennis .............. [[Dennis]]
</blockquote>
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{record scratch}'' Okay, that's enough of that.

===Washer===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad's still washing all the Dangeresque 3 costumes, so we'll be ready for all the awards ceremonies!

==Living Room==
===Smoke Detector===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Our last, best defense against burnination.

===Window===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, bushes. Any of you start smiling and dancing, and I'm gonna have to come out and put a stop to it. You have been warned.

==Outside==
===Exiting before applying the logic board to the Trogdor machine===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey! Come back here!
:{Strong Bad chases the Trogdor arcade machine to the Field.}

===On arrival after applying the logic board to the Trogdor machine===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{notices many redcoat ghost sprites appear outside his house}'' Great. And now the house is haunted.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{appears on-screen, frightened}'' G-g-g-ghosts? You go on without me, big guy. I'll stay back in the van with The Cheat!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{annoyed}'' 1 - You don't have a van. 2 - I wish I could get rid of you that easily. And 3 - These aren't even the groundskeeper-wearing-a-sheet-covered-in-phosphorescent-paint kinda ghosts, anyway! They're from "Spirits of 76" ''{emphasized with a dramatic, shaky voice}'', that Bicentennial-themed game where you're a big, spooky pixel running a black screen picking up ''other'' spooky pixels.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Are they... ''{gulps}'' ...spooky GHOST pixels? ''{vanishes}''

===After getting thrown out by the ghosts===
'''Occurs if Strong Bad allows the Redcoat Ghosts to get too close after entering with the Light Musket'''

:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Kicked out on your keester again, huh? Dang old ghosts got the best of ya?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Shut up! ''{Brandishes the light musket}'' This gun's enough to take out all those stupid ghosts!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, but don't forget to fire it! This one time, I was using it to stir my tea (Earl Grey, with honey, no sugar) and then the doorbell rang—
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Interrupting}'' Don't make me come in there!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Argh, stupid Redcoats! Need a taste of The Shot Heard Round Their Boontockles!

===Box===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{looks under the box}'' Ah, I was wondering where the box for my "Lady Crate Ape" game had gone to... I mean Strong Sad's "Lady Crate Ape" game... that sucks, and he sucks, too, because of it.

===Front Door===
:'''If entering the house unarmed'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{enters the house to see everything is pitch black}'' How am I supposed to see anything in here?
::''{A group of ghosts surround him.}''
::'''GHOSTS:''' LEAVE THIS PLACE!
::''{The ghosts throw Strong Bad out of the house, causing him to land on his chest.}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{stands up}'' Ow! Why don't you try doing that to my face, stupid ghost!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{appears next to Strong Bad}'' I think they just DID do'd that to your face.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{turns to Homestar, annoyed}'' No they didn't! Besides, it was too dark to tell. If I could just find that Light Musket peripheral that came with the game, then we'd see who's knocking whom out of whom's house.
::''{Homestar vanishes.}''
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{enters the house to see everything is pitch black}'' How am I supposed to see anything in here?
::''{A group of ghosts surround him.}''
::'''GHOSTS:''' LEAVE THIS PLACE!
::''{The ghosts throw Strong Bad out of the house, causing him to land on his chest.}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I ''need'' to find that Light Musket!

:'''If entering armed'''
::''{Strong Bad activates the light musket and shines it all over the house (it is the only source of light in the otherwise pitch-black house), eventually landing on The Cheat in Strong Bad's room, cowering behind the Taranchula standee}''
::'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{terrified The Cheat noises}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' The Cheat! Did you unleash vengeful spirits into the house again?
::'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{more terrified The Cheat noises}''
::''{Strong Bad shines the light on a ghost}''
::'''COLONIAL GHOST #1:''' ''{in the hall between the living room and Strong Bad's Room}'' He removed the cartridge while it was loading and trapped us here forever!
::'''GHOSTS:''' SAVE US!
::'''COLONIAL GHOST #2:''' ''{in Strong Mad's Room}'' Save me— er, yeah, us!
::''{Return to Strong Bad}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Forever, huh? We'll see what ol' Muskie here has to say about that!
::'''COLONIAL GHOST #3:''' ''{in the computer room}'' Your gun is useless against the sprites of liberty!
::'''COLONIAL GHOST #2:''' Separate rendering layer, Jack! Deal with it!
::'''COLONIAL GHOST #1:''' You must return the items we have lost!
::''{The Paper comes down and provides the instructions on how to play "Redcoat Ghost Patrol"}''
::'''INSTRUCTIONS:''' Help the colonial ghosts and avoid the redcoat ghosts! Use the right mouse button to fire your light musket.
::''{The game [[Spirits of '76]] begins}''

===Mailbox===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{opens the mailbox}'' No mail? There's ALWAYS cool stuff in or around my mailbox. ''{closes the mailbox}'' I blame Trogdor for this.

====Gel-Arshie → Mailbox====
:'''GEL-ARSHIE:''' Special delivery. ''{Deposits a red box}'' It's red, just like me!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I totally didn't see that cardboard box before. How did you do that?
:'''GEL-ARSHIE:''' ''{Shouting}'' It's 'cause I'm an abomination! ''{Creepily}'' And now, I'm gonna follow you EVERYWHERE! ''{Goes away. Strong Bad jiggles uncomfortably}''

===Red Box===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Looks under the box, finds a card}'' A Good Graphicketeers card! This one is for the 360 flapjack to junk in the trunk trick for Pro Fruitboarder.

==Strong Bad Emails==
===When sitting down===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Stage One complete. Stage Two: e-mails.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' A lone space marine against an unstoppable army of zombie elves on the beaches of Normandy. His only weapon: e-mail.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Bad was a single guy who'd given up on love. But then he met... e-mails.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' E-MAIL BOSS FIGHT!

===When deleting e-mails===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Dee! Lee! Ted!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' El Deleto Grande!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Survey says: Deleted!

:''{After each of these, the deleted sound plays, showing a red DELETED! screen which has the Female Lappy with fangs.}''

===When undeleting e-mails===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Undeleted!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted no more!

:''{After each of these, the deleted sound plays backwards, showing a cyan UNDELETED! screen.}''

===Email 1: Good Graphicketeers===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Good Graphicketeers</div>
Ahoy, Good Graphicketeers!<br>
Take a whiff of the all the pixel-packed fun coming your way<br>
from Videlectrix!<br>
Celebrate the "Fright"centennial with Spirits of '76 and its<br>
"Revolutionary" new light musket attachment! The ladder<br>
-building action of Mista Fixit will have you riveted to your<br>
Fun Machine! Maybe include the Mrs. with Lady Crate Ape<br>
from Videlectrix for Her! Experience the mild, sports type<br>
gameplay of the Videlectrix Halfathlon.<br>
And please, for the love of Pete, don't forget old favorites<br>
like Peasant's Quest and Stinkoman (not available in some<br>
territories). And kids, keep your eyes peeled for our<br>
collectible trading cards, probably buried or hidden near<br>
you!
</blockquote>

:''{After reading the greeting, Strong Bad exclaims "Oh boy, it's the Videlectrix newsletter!"; he also omits the first "the" in the following sentence.}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Another great newsletter! Looks like Videlectrix upgraded their ''computer''! Singular. The last "e-mail" I got from them was hand-written on a napkin and shoved under my door.

===Email 2: personality quiz===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: personality quiz</div>
Strong Bad!<br>
Which Cheat Commando are you most like and why?<br>
<br>
Curious,<br>
Doug M, Vermont<br>
</blockquote>

:''{Strong Bad over-emphasizes the greeting and follows it up with "What?!? Don't sneak up on me like that!". He also reads the sender's name as "Dug 'em, VerMONT".}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Is this one of those lame internet personality quizzes that people are always forwarding me? Like "Which character from ''The Color Purple'' are you?" That thing said I was a Celie when everybody knows I'm a Squeak! ''{clears screen}'' Anyways, my favorite Cheat Commando would have to be Gunhaver. Because out of all the action figures I've melted with a soldering iron, he turned into the coolest abomination. Now I call him Twig, Rusty Nail, Some Dead Bugs, and Right Leg of Other Action Figure Haver. But my second choice would be any of the ruthless TOPPLEGANGERS! The sometimes good guys, most-time bad guys guns-for-hire! I don't even have their action figures, but I have a feeling they'd be reeeeeeal melty.

====Email 3: trogdor us storng bad====
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: trogdor us storng bad</div>
what gives in peasants quest it says that nobody can beat<br>
TROGDOR but i thought storng bad could beat anybody so<br>
my question is who would win in a fight you or TROGDOR?<br>
<br>
manny
</blockquote>

:''{Strong Bad reads the entire email without pausing for breath, over-emphasizes Trogdor's name and reads his name as mis-spelt.}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Manny? Manny who? Manny e-mails are better written than this one? Manny people have asked me to use the shift key but I refuse to listen? ''{clears screen}'' Of course I would win! I birthed Trogdor! It's like how your dad always shellacs you at tennis even when he's 70 years old. He knows all your moves! You wouldn't know it to look at him, but that beefy arm has no backhand. And his net game is practically non-existent. I could easily take him in straight sets. ''{realizes the subject matter}'' Oh wait. You asked about a fight... with a dragon... that breathes fire... Hmmm. Maybe I ''should'' come up with some kinda non-tennis related plan to defeat that guy.

====Email 4: Death====
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Death</div>
Dear Strong Bad,<br>
I think you have the best taste in videogames and are never<br>
wrong. But my brother just got this new game where you<br>
can't die at all, you just get stuck! I think this is boring<br>
but what do you think about games where you can't die?<br>
<br>
John Platz, AK
</blockquote>

:''{Strong Bad adds "You're my new best friend" after reading the first sentence, and reads AK as "Ack!".}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' A videogame where you can't die? No, that doesn't sound boring at all, it sounds... ''{suddenly stops typing and falls snoringly asleep for a few seconds}'' ...no offence... ''{wakes up, starts typing again}'' ...wha?!? Sorry. Nodded off there. ''{clears screen}'' But seriously, what are you supposed to do in a game where you can't die? Pick up things? Talk to people? Talk to people about things you just picked up? Let me be first in line NOT to play that game. Sometimes I try to die in games that don't even LET you die. Like Solitaire. I swear if I keep playing 2 cards of the same suit on top of each other, that one-eyed jack'll jump out and stab the crap outta me!

==Strong Bad's Room==
===8-Bit Artifact===
:''{Seen only during the "Spirits of '76" game; it's a feather pen}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sarcastically}'' Wow. It's an enormous... feather. I'm learning so much about history right now.
:''{He takes it}''

===Fun Machine===
:'''Before the ghost sprites get released'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Spirits of '76? Whoa, this is that haunted historical hadventure game that came with that awesome Light Musket peripheral! ''{Looks around}'' Oh man, where's the Light Musket? I gotta find that thing!

:'''While the ghost sprites are roaming around the house'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm not playing any games while the house is still haunted. I don't want anybody sneaking up behind me.

:'''After the ghost sprites are gone'''
:''{First time only}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' "Gel-Arshie's Pro Fruitboarder"? The Cheat must've changed the cartridge without turning the machine off first. Even though, it clearly says on the box that doing so could result in loss of data and/or the physical manifestation of spectral entities. I might as well see if it's worth the zero dollars I paid for it.
:{{short hr}}
:''{subsequent times}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Time to shred some serious air with my totally gelatinous bromide Gel-Arshie!

:'''Start-up sequence'''
::''{Cut to a shot of Strong Bad playing the game on the TV. The Videlectrix title is displayed, followed by the Stinkoman 20X6 version of the Videlectrix Mascot appearing. The Videlectrix music plays, with Strong Bad humming with it}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{as the Mascot trips and falls; to the logo's music}'' Wipe-out.
::''{The Gel-Arshie game title screen is displayed, as Gel-Arshie slides across the screen to the right side on a surfboard. The control instructions are displayed}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{First time only}'' Okay, let me see how this game works.
::''{He plays the game}''

====Gel-Arshie's Pro Fruitboarder → Kill Screen====
:''{The game screen switches to a series of pink text strings flashing, followed by a brief flash of Gel-arshie's face, followed by all the lines having the text "All work and no fruit makes Gel-Arshie a dull boy". After a further few flashes, Gel-Arshie's face could be seen much clearer. Eventually, the screen zooms in on his nose, and he starts to squeeze out of the TV.}''
:'''GEL-ARSHIE:''' ''{struggling}'' Eerrrrgggghhh...
:''{Gel-Arshie frees himself from the TV and starts hovering towards Strong Bad, now backing away to the entrance of his room. Then he suddenly edged forward, causing Strong Bad to fall backwards.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Aaaaaargh!
:'''GEL-ARSHIE:''' Hey kids! I'm Gel-Arshie and I'm in your house! ''{Strong Bad gets up and continues to back away again.}'' You tired old snacks can- ''{realizes that he's not a sprite anymore, and surprises Strong Bad from behind}'' AHH! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY LEGS?!?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{panicked}'' Ahhhh! Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop!
:''{Gel-Arshie vanishes. Strong Bad looks around for him, only to see him re-appear from behind the Taranchula standee.}''
:'''GEL-ARSHIE:''' Just kiddin'! You tired old snacks can go to bed, my fruitactular taste turns everything RED! ''{The entire room glows red on the end of his line.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{disguisted}'' Euglh! Just join my party already!
:'''GEL-ARSHIE:''' ''{edges closer towards Strong Bad}'' Sure thing, kid! I'll follow you EVERYWHERE! ''{vanishes}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{unsettled}'' Man, I HATE that... guy.
:'''ON-SCREEN TEXT:''' GEL-ARSHIE has joined your party!

====At intervals while playing====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Cower at the feet of my awesome moves!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This game is like pure, undiluted 1989 concentrate.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, this game is making me hungry.

====End of level====
:'''GEL-ARSHIE:''' Radical!
:{{short hr}}
:'''GEL-ARSHIE:''' Extreme!
:{{short hr}}
:'''GEL-ARSHIE:''' Dude-acious!

====When losing a life====
:'''GEL-ARSHIE:''' Bogus!
:{{short hr}}
:'''GEL-ARSHIE:''' Gnarly!

====When getting a new high score====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' A new high score!

===Messy Pile===
:''{First time only}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Gotta be all kinds of cool stuff in here... ''{starts searching through it}'' Cool and moist... ''{disgusted}'' ...best not think about that. ''{pulls out a cell phone}'' A-ha! Homestar's cell phone! I probably shouldn't have dialed the Ukranian Weather Update Line and left it on all these months. ''{raises the phone to his head}''
:'''UKRANIAN OPERATOR:''' Is still very cold!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{puts the phone away}'' I hope Homestar's got some crazy roll-over minutes!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Wait, I thought I set this pile on fire a few months ago! Talk about spontaneous re-generation.

===Metal Detector===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{boredly, eyes half-closed}'' Once again, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the Taranchula Black Metal Detector and Shovel Attachment. ''{takes it}''

===Seven Track===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Even without an "on" button, speakers, or any place to insert recorded media, this seven track still has the best sound. Just listen to that thing resonate!

===Taranchula Standee===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I had The Cheat distract Strong Mad while I snuck into his room and stole back my Taranchula cardboard cutout. ''{turns to the camera}'' Of course, Strong Mad is also distracted by dim lights, grass growing, and the rotation of the earth, so I probably could've saved myself the trouble.

===The Cheat===
:'''At game start'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' The Cheat, you know you gotta ask permission before you can play with or be around the Fun Machine.
::'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{pleadingly, holding a game cartridge}'' Meehhh, meh!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Especially when it's to put crap like ''this'' in there. ''{reads the game name}'' Gel-Arshie's Pro Fruitboarder? That's the promo shovelware I got for sending in the proofs of purchase from all that Jela-Ton I won in the Race to the End of the Race! Those things are ''never'' any good! Say it with me, The Cheat...
::'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{slow and by-rote The Cheat noises}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{simultaneously with The Cheat}'' Licenced videogames are never good.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Don't look so down, The Cheat! I'll let you watch me play lots of games later!

:''''While the ghost sprites are roaming around the house'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Don't be such a baby, The Cheat. They're just 8-bit ghosts.
::'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{frightened}'' Meeeeeek!

===Videlectrix Poster===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I bet that place with all the flying videogames looks WAY cooler in person!
:{{short hr}}
:''{After the ghost sprites have gone}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That place looks way cooler on the poster.

===End of Spirits of '76 game===
:''{After the colonial ghosts receive their artifacts, the lights turn back on and the redcoat ghosts are sucked into the Fun Machine}''
:'''REDCOAT GHOST:''' Blimey!
:''{Strong Bad enters the room brandishing his light musket}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's right, stupid ghosts, shoo! Go off and show up as unexplained blurs and mysterious photographs or something!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{appears next to Strong Bad}'' Ghost photography ain't no joke, Strong Bad. You too can take pictures that look like you sneezed on 'em.
:''{Homestar disappears}''

==Strong Mad's Room==

===8-Bit Artifact===
:''{Seen only during the "Spirits of '76" game; it's a lantern}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Looks like a box. With a line in it. Maybe a lantern?
:''{He takes it}''

===Colonial Ghost===
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #2:''' My single greatest claim to fame's the fancy way I signed my name!

====8-Bit Quill Pen → Colonial Ghost====
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #2:''' You have found it! I am free once again! I am John Hancock! Make sure your family's insured in the event of an emergency.
:''{Colonial Ghost #2 disappears}''

====Any other item → Colonial Ghost====
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #2:''' That's not what I'm looking for. Would you like me to draw you a picture? No wait, I can't without my item, can I?

===Closet Door===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I know I don't want to look inside there, but I just can't stop myself...
:''{Strong Bad opens the door with his eyes shut. When he opens them... he sees that the closet is empty.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Wha? ''{turns away from the closet}'' Where'd the painting go?
:'''JIBBLIES PAINTING:''' ''{suddenly appears from behind}'' Come on in here!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{faces the painting}'' AAGGGGHH! A-jibblie-jibblie-jibblie-jibblie!

===Dresser===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, how come Strong Mad can't have Chinese stars and girlie magazines hidden in here like ''all'' good older brothers?

===Dumbell===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's... heavy.

===Painting===
:'''JIBBLIES PAINTING:''' Come on in here!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' A-jibblie-jibblie-jibblie-jibblie! ''{recovers from the jibblies fit}'' Man, that painting is creepy!

==Strong Sad's Room==

===8-Bit Artifact===
:''{Seen only during the "Spirits of '76" game; it's a teabag}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Okay, I've got no idea what this is, but I bet I'm gonna need it.
:''{He takes it}''

===Bookcase===
:''{First time only}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, it's one of my Videlectrix Good Graphicketeers cards! ''{card appears on screen}'' "Carpal Tunnel Connie". ''{unamused}'' Wow, that... is not funny. People must've had a different sense of humor way back in... ''{reads the card}'' "Printed in 2006?" Oh.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad knows better than to leave his books out where I can... ''{gestures with his hands}'' ..."edit" them.

===sloshy Poster===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad needs to make up his mind about these posters! I've had the same booger stuck to my wall since I was seven.

===Strong Sad's Bed===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This is where Strong Sad dreams of impossible things! ''{turns to the camera}'' Like having friends...

{{incomplete}}
{{SBCG4AP}}

[[Category:Video Game Responses]]

Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective Responses (Smoky Office)

AWM2004 — Sat, 01 Oct 2022 16:01:53 GMT

AWM2004: /* When deleting e-mails */

[[File:Dangeresque 3 Office.png|thumb|"The only gun that never runs out of ammo!"]]

[[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]] has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from [[Smoky Office|the Smoky Office]] in [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]].

{{SBCG4AP Responses notation legend}}
==Game Introduction==
''{The camera slowly fades in on a dark room (resembling the Smoky Office) in an apartment high-rise, with the skyline of a nighttime city outside. Thunder can be heard faintly. Cut to an overhead shot of a nunchuck-gun (a pair of nunchucks taped to a revolver) sitting on a desk, with an overhead lamp shining on it. A boxing glove-clad hand reaches out and takes it. Cut to a shot of the room's front door from the inside, the camera slowly panning in to it. The door slowly creaks open}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{offscreen}'' I always knew it would come to this.
''{Cut to an extreme close-up of Dangeresque's mouth}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Did you think I wouldn't find out?
''{Cut to a further-away shot of Dangeresque holding the nunchuck-gun and wearing shades}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Did you really believe that I would never—
''{Cut to an even-further-away shot of Dangeresque standing behind the desk}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' —discover the true face of my greatest enemy?
''{A silhouetted Dangeresque Too walks in and obscures part of the foreground}''
:'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' That's right. But it doesn't matter now because I have the diamond!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' You mean...
''{Dangeresque holds up a diamond}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' THIS DIAMOND!?
''{Thunder crashes}''
:'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' GASP!
''{Cut to black. The title sequence for the game is shown, with the credits being shown amid silhouettes of Strong Bad as Dangeresque, Homestar as Dangeresque Too and Coach Z as Renaldo, and while an instrumental of the music of [[The theme from DANGERESQUE II: This time, it's not Dangeresque I|the "Dangeresque II: This time, it's not Dangeresque 1" theme]] plays. After the credits, fade in on Strong Bad dozing on his computer room desk in front of the [[Lappy 486]]. He suddenly awakens with a start.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Wha-hwoa? Oh, yeah, right. Reply to all...
''{Cut to Strong Bad's perspective of the Lappy, as he starts [[How do you type with boxing gloves on?|typing on the keyboard with his boxing gloves on]]}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Dear, ''{slightly quickly}'' all the annoying morons that have been bugging me about it for four and a half years... ''{normal}'' Yes, I finally finished Dangeresque 3: ''{sultry voice}'' The Criminal Projective, ''{normal voice}'' so you can all EAT IT! ''{clears the screen}'' The critics are stark raving, "A dastardly masterly masterwork of cinemagic wonder."... "More special effects than a Jessica Tandy joint!"... "They may give you the whole tub of popcorn, but you'll only need the edge!" ''{again clears the screen}'' Tickets are selling for like $100 a piece! Everybody who's anybody that gives me a hundred bucks is going to be there!
''{Cut to a different perspective of the computer desk}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, crap! I'm late for the premiere!
''{Cut to a shot of a VHS tape on the desk, which Strong Bad picks up as he leaves the computer room. Cut to the basement, where Bubs, Coach Z, Homestar and Marzipan all are waiting impatiently. Strong Bad enters the room}''
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Where have you been?
:'''COACH Z:''' Hey, we've been waiting here for hours!
:'''BUBS:''' ''{overlapping}'' Finally, let's start the movie!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{overlapping}'' Is that him? I think that's him!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{jumping on top of the VCR atop the [[Telebision]]}'' Okay, peoples, here is the moment you have all been waiting for! The long awaited premiere of... DANGERESQUE... THREE! ''{imitates echoing}'' Three... three... three...
''{Strong Bad gets down from on top of the TV and puts the tape in the VCR. Cut to a front shot of the TV, with the camera zooming in on it, until it fills up the screen. The screen fades in on static and The Cheat's flipper-like hand holding up a crude title card reading the movie title, backed by the Smoky Office. The Cheat then removes the card as Strong Bad as Dangeresque says the following line:}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{talking on the phone}'' Yeah, well, I don't care what the FBI, CIA, RGB and XFL say! I already returned the priceless paintings that were evidence!
''{Dangeresque hangs up the phone and faces the camera}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Dangeresque plays by his own rules!
''{Strong Bad turns his head to his right (the viewer's left) as he hears the door knocking.}''

==Daytime Office==
===On arrival after obtaining the Formula===
:''{Dangeresque and Renaldo arrive through the door.}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Well, Dollface, it was a dangerous and difficult mission, but after narrowly dodging herds of bullets, hoards of henchmen, and hards of punches, I was able to recover your formula, and I didn't even break it and was forced to recreate it in a scientific lab even once!
:''{Camera switches to Coach Z, standing there in silence.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{impatiently}'' Ahem...
:'''COACH Z:''' Oh! Oh, sorry...
:''{Coach Z gets back into character}''
:'''RENALDO:''' Oh my gosh! SHE'S GONE!!!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Yes, but where did she go?
:'''RENALDO:''' You don't think-
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' No time for that now! Cutesy Buttons is in trouble! ''{The camera changes perspective, showing that Dangeresque is standing near a TV and VCR.}'' There's got to be a clue somewhere in this office!

===In extended play===
:'''ON-SCREEN CAPTION:''' Bloopers: Dangeresque's Office
:''{Fade in on Strong Bad and Marzipan talking to each other. They see the camera. Marzipan smiles and walks away, while Strong Bad turns to face it.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Making a summer action blockbuster like this is serious business, but it's not without a few laughs! Especially when things don't always go exactly as planned. Check out some of these bluppers... uh, bloopers.

===Blinds===
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Whoa, there's an outside of this office? Man, these blinds have been blinding me from seeing the city at large.

===Cake===
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{Sniffs the cake. Unsteady voice}'' What is in this cake?
:'''RENALDO:''' My favorites, baloney and olives! My mother still makes me one every year for my birthday!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' And yet, you lived long enough to retire.
:{{short hr}}
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I think I better stay away from that thing. And probably classify it as a biological hazard. ''{Backs away}''

===Chair===
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' In the event of an emergency landing, this chair can also be used as a flotation device.

:'''In extended play'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ooh, comfy chair! ''{Sits in it}'' I guess I could take a little nap. ''{Puts his head down and immediately falls asleep and starts snoring. Scene changes to the nighttime office}''

===Cutesy Buttons===
:'''At intervals while watching Credenza in the shark pond'''
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Kick your feet! Swim to the edge!
::{{short hr}}
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Hang in there, little one!
::{{short hr}}
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Good thing he's an excellent swimmer!
::{{short hr}}
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Hang on, Credenza!
::{{short hr}}
::'''MARZIPAN:''' You're doing great, Credenza, just hang on to the side!

:'''If talked to while Credenza is in the shark pond'''
::'''DANGERESQUE:''' Hey, Cutesy Buttons...
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Not now, Strong Bad, I have to keep an eye on poor Credenza!

====Cutesy Buttons → Cutesy Buttons → Angel====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Cutesy Buttons. That's a fitting name for you.
:'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' Thanks, Dangeresque. You think I'm cute?
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' No, I think you smell like old buttons.
:'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' Oh. Are those supposed to smell bad, or something?

====Cutesy Buttons → Cutesy Buttons → Devil====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Who cares about your stupid rainforest? The only thing the rainforest ever did for me was give me wet splinters.
:'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' The rainforest provides us with oxygen so you and I can breathe. It's like our planet's lungs.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Well, those lungs had better start smoking if they want to be as cool as Dangeresque.

====Cutesy Buttons → Renaldo====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Have you met my partner Renaldo? He's my partner. Well, until he retires in two weeks.
:'''RENALDO:''' Yep! And I'm totally not going to be shot, whacked in the head, shoved off buildings or blown up in any way before then.
:'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' It's very nice to meet you, Renaldo. ''{Sniffs}'' Does something smell like old cold cuts?
:'''RENALDO:''' Aww, you're too kind.
:{{short hr}}
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Renaldo's gonna be helping out on your case. Anything he should know?
:'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' Only that the formula is extremely delicate. You must be very careful not to handle it too rough, or it could be destroyed!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Oh, Renaldo won't be touching it. He's all thumbs.
:'''RENALDO:''' That's me!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' We'll leave the delicate stuff up to these precision instruments. ''{Holds up his hands.}''

====Cutesy Buttons → Formula====
:'''Before getting the formula powder from Strong Borneo'''
::'''DANGERESQUE:''' This... "formula". Tell me more about it.
::'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' In my research, I accidentally discovered an ancient civilization that had accidentally created a formula that had the power to save the rainforest! At the time, the rainforest had no natural enemies, except for giant robot dinosaurs... ''{breaks character}'' Wait, are you serious?
::'''DANGERESQUE:''' Interesting, yes, go on.
::'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' ''{Sighs. Speaks off-handedly}'' So, the formula was hidden away in a safe but dangerous land. And you were the only one brave enough to get it.
::'''DANGERESQUE:''' Yes, that IS true. Good thing I bought some hollow-point anti-robosaur rounds for my nunchuck gun!
::{{short hr}}
::'''DANGERESQUE:''' Where do I find that formula again?
::'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' Deep in the tropical jungles of... Strong Borneo?
::'''DANGERESQUE:''' Strong Borneo, of course! I'll assemble a landing party, and we'll set out within the hour!

:'''After getting the formula powder from Strong Borneo'''
::'''DANGERESQUE:''' That special tree-saving formula, there wouldn't happen to be any more somewhere else, would there?
::'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' This is the very last sample in existence, that's why it's imperative that nothing happens to it.
::'''DANGERESQUE:''' Of course! So I'll just go right out and get it for you, then. Sit tight, babe. Dangeresque is on the job!
::{{short hr}}
::'''DANGERESQUE:''' Just so we're clear, if anything DID happen to that formula... say, Renaldo accidentally dropped it... I mean, he didn't, but if he did, you'd still pay me, right?
::'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' Of course not! But that's why I trusted it in your hands and not your partner's.
::'''DANGERESQUE:''' Right. Well, I'll see you in a few minutes with that formula!

====Cutesy Buttons → Trinket====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Hey, Cutesy. Ever seen anything like this before? ''{Gets out the trinket}''
:'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' Hmm, my sister and I both have lockets that look kinda like that. They're two halves of-
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{Interrupting}'' It's not a dumb girls' locket! It's some kind of cool guy thing that my father left for me. I bet if you get it wet, it transforms into a cool sports car. With built-in fishing tackle. And batting cages.

====Cutesy Buttons → Hair====
:'''Only appears after Dangeresque gets the list of ingredients from Experimento and before Dangeresque gets the hair'''

:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Hey, mind if I grab a chunk of your hair?
:'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{Angrily}'' I most certainly do! It's taken me all summer to grow my hair out, and there's certainly no way I'm cutting it off for you!
:{{short hr}}
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I think you have some gum in your hair. Let me just cut that out for you.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' That's impossible. I use a special herbal shampoo that makes my hair naturally resistant to sticky substances.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' And decent-looking hairstyles, apparently.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Come on! Let me have some of your hair!
:'''MARZIPAN:''' No.

====Diet Cola → Cutesy Buttons====
:'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' DIET Brown? Are you trying to tell me something?
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Of course not, Dollface. At least, not anything the stitching on that dress hasn't already told you!

====Formula Dust → Cutesy Buttons====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I doubt she would pay me for the formula in THIS condition. I should probably fix it first.

====Nunchuck Gun → Cutesy Buttons====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{Pulls out the gun}'' FREEZE!
:'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' Hey! Don't point that thing at me!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Lucky thing you're my meal ticket, lady. I'll spare you... this time.

====Plant → Cutesy Buttons====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I still have your plant.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' You'd better not do anything to harm Credenza! I'm keeping my eye on him!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah. You do that.

====Scissors → Cutesy Buttons====
:'''While she is facing forward'''
::'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{Stalks forward with scissors in hand}'' Hold still, you've got a little something right on the side there.
::'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{Backs away quickly}'' Ahh! What are you doing, you animal? Stay away from my hair with those things!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Stage whisper}'' Marzipan, I'm supposed to get some of your hair in this scene!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{Stage whisper}'' I told you, I won't let you cut my hair for this movie!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Still whispering}'' Come on! You're ruining the shot!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{Still whispering}'' I don't care!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{To the camera}'' Actresses! ''{Puts the scissors away}''
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Pulls the scissors out}'' Would you mind turning around for just a sec?
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Not while you have those scissors in your hand.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, forget it, then.

:'''While she is watching Credenza in the shark pond'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Pulls out the scissors and snips off some of Marzipan's hair}'' Got it!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{Turning back from the window. Angrily}'' You go get Credenza right now, or I'll...
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You'll what?
::''{Jump cut. Strong Bad, with a yellow pencil embedded in the side of his head, is putting Credenza back by the desk.}''
::'''DANGERESQUE:''' I rescued your plant from those bloodthirsty sharks. Er, leafthirsty.
::'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' Thank you, Dangeresque! Now, I think you should keep looking for that formula!
::'''DANGERESQUE:''' Yeah. It's safer out there with the sharks, anyway. ''{Pulls the pencil out, with some effort, looks at it, then tosses it away.}''

====Stickanee Flower → Cutesy Buttons====
''{Strong Bad pulls out the flower}''
:'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' Is that a Stickanee flower for me? How romantic! I thought they were extinct!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Uh, no. This is a... Stink, uh, butt flower. ''{Puts it away}'' ... For my mom.

===Dangeresque Too===
====Dangeresque Too → Dangeresque Too → Angel====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Hey, you've gotta teach me that killer spin kick move you do!
:'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' What are you talking about?
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' You know, when you kicked Killingyouguy's butt that last time.
:'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' No, you must have dreamt that. But yeah, I can probably teach ya.

====Dangeresque Too → Dangeresque Too → Devil====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' You've been screwing up a lot in the past a lot lately. I don't need a loose cannon on this team!
:'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' ''{Angrily}'' Back off, buddy! I don't wanna be here any more than you do, but I'm the only one you got!
:'''RENALDO:''' Hey, hey, hey! Save that kind of banter for the racquetball court, you two!

====Dangeresque Too → Renaldo====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I can't believe Renaldo is retiring!
:'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' I know! He's taken my badge away thirteen times. Good thing I bought a case of 'em.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' He only took mine once. But then I just stole yours, since it already says "Dangeresque" on it.
:{{short hr}}
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I guess after Renaldo retires, I'll have to start looking for a new regular partner.
:'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' What do you think Renaldo's replacement's gonna to be like? Streetwise loose cannon with nothing to lose? Booksmart stuffed shirt with something to prove? Foot-long hot dog in a kaiser roll?
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Oh, wait, I forgot. After Renaldo retires, I work alone!
:'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' Maybe it'll be me. I'm a trash-talking rebel with—
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{Interrupting}'' It won't be you.

====Dangeresque Too → Trinket====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{Pulls out the trinket}'' Check this thing out!
:'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' Wow! What is that thing?
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Well, what do YOU think it is?
:'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' Hmmm... is it animal or mineral?
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Mineral.
:'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' Heavy or light?
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Kinda heavy.
:'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' Sweet or salty?
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' If I were to venture a guess, salty.
:'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' Then I have solved your riddle! The doctor is his MOTHER!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{Pause}'' Never mind. ''{Puts the trinket away}''

====Nunchuck Gun → Dangeresque Too====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{Pulls out his nunchuck gun}'' FREEZE!
:'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' Oh, yeah? You wanna get crazy? Oh, I'll get crazy!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{Putting gun away}'' Nope, that's too crazy for me.

===Diet Cola===
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Diet brown. All the fizzy with none of the flabby!
:'''RENALDO:''' Yeah! If I'm gonna hit the nude beaches on my retirement cruise, I need to start watching my girlish figure!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' It'll work even better if I just take it away! I'm confiscating this. Official corrupt police business. ''{Takes the can}''
:{{short hr}}
:'''In extended play'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Diet brown. All the fizzy with none of the flabby! ''{takes the can}''

===Door===
:''{First time only}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Yeah, I should probably answer that. It's probably a gorgeous dame in desperate need of my help.
:''{He opens the door}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{his head inside the doorway}'' Why, hello beautiful.
:''{Coach Z as Renaldo enters the Smokey Office}''
:'''RENALDO:''' Hello Dangeresque! It's me... Renaldo! Your partner! I'm here with your on-again off-again sometimes other partner with the same name as you, Dangeresque... Too?
:''{Strong Bad starts to close the door, but Homestar Runner as Dangeresque Too enters the office carrying a cake.}''
:'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' Sup, Big D.
:'''RENALDO:''' Are we late for the... uhh...
:''{Breaking character}''
:'''COACH Z:''' ''{stage whisper}'' What's my line?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{stage whisper}'' ...Retirement party.
:'''RENALDO:''' Oh yeah... Retirement party? You know, because I retire in two weeks, and then I'm off to spend my days in the Sidekick Islands where nothing can possibly kill you off ''{he pronounces "off" as "orf"}''!
:'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' I brought cake!
:''{Dangeresque closes the door}''
:{{short hr}}
:''{Second time, if Dangeresque has the nunchuck gun}''
:''{Dangeresque stares at the door}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Oh, I'll get—
:''{As he reaches for the handle, someone stars knocking. He looks down and sighs}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{Flatly}'' Oh, I'll get the door.
:''{Opens the door, revealing Marzipan as Cutesy Buttons}''
:'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' Dangeresque?
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Cutesy Buttons! Are you here for Renaldo's retirement-in-two-weeks party too?
:'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' ''{Walks in, carrying Credenza}'' No, I'm here because I need your help to save millions of helpless rainforest trees, like this one! ''{Holds up Credenza, then puts it down by the desk}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Stage whisper}'' Marzipan, I told you not to bring your stupid plant!
:'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{Stage whisper}'' Credenza's a natural movie star! He deserves to be in this movie!
:''{She gets back into character}''
:'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' Anyway, I'm here because I discovered the location of a secret formula that will save the rainforest! But it's located deep in the jungles of Strong Borneo. For me, that's FAR too dangerous.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Not dangerous... Dangeresque! ''{To Renaldo and Dangeresque Too}'' What do you say, guys? One last case as a team? Just for old this movie's sake?
:'''RENALDO:''' You bet, Dangeresque! We'll just grab the formula and come back. What could possibly go wrong?
:'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' Sorry, buddy, I can't. I've got uh... something else... I have to keep my eye on today. You guys go on without me! ''{Leaves}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Hmmm... ''{Imitating a dramatic riff}'' Doodily-waw!
:{{short hr}}
:''{Before Dangeresque picks up the nunchuck gun}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I'm not going out there without a weapon. This town is dangerous.
:{{short hr}}
:''{Successive clicks simply open the map}''

===Lamp===
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Keep on doin' your swing thing, lamp.

===Lappy 486===
====When sitting down====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I guess I have a minute to spare and check one of these so-called... e-mails. ''{Without moving his lips}'' Chi-ka wha!
:{{short hr}}
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Lemme just check the Dangeresque Database to see if any new important missions have come in.
:{{short hr}}
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I know I'm right in the middle of cracking a hard-boiled case, but I think I have time for an e-mail or two.
:{{short hr}}
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I guess if I'm ever gonna learn to use this thing, I better start checking my e-mail.
:{{short hr}}
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Even though I fight the law, but I also fight the crime, I still can't fight the urge to check a few e-mails.

====When deleting e-mails====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Deleted!
:{{short hr}}
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Dee! Lee! Ted!
:{{short hr}}
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' No one must see this. DELETED!
:{{short hr}}
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' This message will self-delete in... now.

:''{After each of these, the deleted sound plays, showing a red DELETED! screen which has the Female Lappy with fangs.}''

====When undeleting e-mails====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Undeleted!
:{{short hr}}
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I better keep this one so it doesn't fall into the wrong hands. Undeleted.

:''{After each of these, the deleted sound plays backwards, showing a cyan UNDELETED! screen.}''

====Email 1: Bullet Catching====
:'''Appears at the start of the game'''
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Bullet Catching</div>
Dear Strong Bad, have you ever caught a bullet with your<br>
teeth, cause that would be awesome?<br>
<br>
Just wondering, AAlgar,WA.
</blockquote>

:''{Strong Bad reads his name as "Dangeresque" and the sender's name as "Al Gar, worthless agent".}''

:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{typing}'' Of course I can catch bullets with my... ''ahem'' teeth! You learn that on, like, the first day of basic training at Crooked Cop Academy. ''{Clears screen}'' You also learn how to mess with your superior officers in hillarious fashion, and make cool noises with your mouth! ''{Proceeds to make a series of cool noises with his mouth, which sound rather like alien languages and droid noises from ''Star Wars''.}'' Oh, I can also catch bottle rockets, musket shot, heat-seeking missiles, and rusty pennies that have been thrown off skyscrapers! And I'm currently working on my yellow belt in catching throwing stars with my eyelashes! Wink, wink!

====Email 2: My Hero====

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: My Hero</div>
Hey, Strong Bad! You are pretty much my hero. But I have<br>
to be honest, I think Homestar makes me laugh more. That<br>
guy is just hilarious!<br>
<br>
Nicolas B. Philly, PA
</blockquote>

:''{Strong Bad reads his name as "Dangeresque" like in the previous email. He also adds "Yeah, I can see how that would be the case" after the first sentence, reads Homestar's name as "Homeh-star", and reads the sender's name as "Nicolas Beefily, Pathetic Agent".}''

:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{typing}'' First of all, let's get one thing straight, Beefball. Dangeresque is a serious guy, okay? ''{forgets to type the word "is"}'' I don't make people laugh. I make them cry, tremble, and occasionally wet themselves in fear! ''{clears screen}'' Secondly of all, who is this "Homestar" ''{pronounced "Homeh-star" as before}'' person you speak of? Is he some sort of joke telling global terrorist? Or an international spy/comedian? Sounds like someone whose butt I'd kick across the deck of an evil secret underwater aircraft carrier! And definitely not someone who I would occasionally work together and share the same name with.

====Email 3: Dead Tree====
:'''Appears when visiting Brainblow City for the first time after meeting Sultry Buttons at the Secret Lab'''
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Dead Tree</div>
Dear Strong Bad. Thers a dead tree in my neighbors yard<br>
that is really ugly to look at, what can I do about it?<br>
<br>
Pete Da Swede, Las Vegas
</blockquote>

:''{Strong Bad reads his name as "Dangeresque" as before, and emphasizes the incorrect words "thers" and "neighbors".}''

:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{typing}'' Hmmm... Cutesy Buttons would probably say to carefully dig it up and replant it somewhere where it can re-grow. But I say, go out and get yourself a chainsaw or a machete or something and go hack that sucker down! No sense in mourning dead wood, move on man!

===Paintings===
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{sarcastically}'' Oh, how did those get here? I thought sure I returned these priceless paintings that were evidence. Ha! Suckers!
:{{short hr}}
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' These paintings really tie the room together.
:{{short hr}}
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' These belong in a museum! But I'm keeping 'em anyway.

'''In extended play'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sarcastically}'' Oh, how did those get here? I thought sure I returned these pwiceless... Pwiceless? Geez! ''{Background voices laugh as Strong Bad walks off}''
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{Appearing from the side, sotto voce}'' Now I got HIM doing it! ''{Clapper board passes over the screen, scene returns to normal}''
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sarcastically}'' Oh, how did those get here? I thought sure I returned these pwiceless... Argh! I did it again! ''{Background voices laugh. Clapper board passes over the screen, scene returns to normal}''
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Okay, okay. ''{sarcastically}'' Oh, how did those get here? I thought sure I returned these pwiceless- AAARRRGGGHHHH! ''{Background voices laugh}'' This is YOUR fault, mushmouth! ''{Clapper board passes over the screen upside-down, scene returns to normal}''

'''Right-hand painting only, after leaving the phone off the hook in the Nighttime Office in Extended play'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Making a sound effect as the painting slides aside}'' Pshhhh! ''{Finds the tuxedo}'' Whoa! I'll be the life of the super spy party in this! ''{Sultry voice}'' Oh hello, femme fatale ''{pronounced "femmy fataly"}'' won't you accompany me to my car, that turns into a boat, that turns into a rocket, that turns into a... fold-out couch?

===Nunchuck Gun===
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Ah, my trusty nunchuck gun. The only gun that's never out of ammo.

===Phone===
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{Picks up the handset}'' Hello? Commissioner? Do WHAT to a rabbit? You've got the wrong number, pal. I'm not in that business any more. ''{Hangs up}'' Stupid telemarketers.
:{{short hr}}
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{Picks up the handset, then goes to dial, but pauses}'' Hello? Hel— Oh, hey! No, it— No, it didn't even ring! ... Yeah, I know! ''{Camera starts moving around}'' That's so weird! So, yeah, hey, can I call you back? No, I just... ''{Turns away from the camera}'' Yeah. Yeah, I'll call you back. ''{Camera gets placed on the floor. Dangeresque walks away}'' I just gotta... yeah. Yeah. Yeah... okay. Yep, I will. Okay. Bye. ''{Renaldo walks on-screen, if he's in the scene. Dangeresque moves to hang up, then puts the handset back against his ear}'' What? Oh, okay. Give your mom a hug. Ok, bye. ''{Hangs up}''

'''In extended play'''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{Picks up the phone}'' Hello? You got Dangeresque!
:'''COACH Z:''' Boop beep boop! The number you have dialed... ''{Background voices laugh}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Where is he? Coach Z! That guy's nuts.

===Plant===
:''{First time only}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' The moody lighting and smoky atmosphere are being brightèned too much by this plant. Maybe I should take it out for some fresh air and water.
:'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' Okay, he is looking a little pale in here. Perhaps some sunlight would do him good.
:''{Dangeresque takes the plant}''
:{{short hr}}
:''{After it has been returned}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Lemme just... ''{Goes to take the plant}''
:'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' ''{Angrily}'' I think the plant looks just lovely where it is.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{Straightens up}'' You know, you're right. I'm just gonna leave it there.
:{{short hr}}
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Ahem!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{In the middle of taking the plant. Straightens up}'' Oh, right.

===Renaldo===
'''After watching the ransom video'''<br>
'''First time only'''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I can't believe Cutesy Buttons was kidnapped!
:'''RENALDO:''' But it says so right on page 42 of the script... Oh, I mean... if anyone can save her, it's you, Dangeresque!
:{{short hr}}
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I can't believe Cutesy Buttons was kidnapped!
:'''RENALDO:''' If anyone can save her, it's you, Dangeresque!

====Renaldo → Renaldo → Angel====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Now that you're retiring, Old Man, you won't have to make up excuses for being so grossly out of shape.
:'''RENALDO:''' Yeah, now I can accentuate this little bundle of blubber on the beach by lathering it up with sun block and cocoa butter.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' That's an image I didn't need stuck in my brain.

====Renaldo → Renaldo → Devil====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' So, Renaldo, you're finally retiring. I guess it's a good thing to get out now before your skills degrade as much as your looks have.
:'''RENALDO:''' Too late for that, Dangeresque. My skills took a turn for the worse long before my looks faded.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Oh, so that's why you don't dance no more.

====Renaldo → Party====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' How are you enjoying your retirement party?
:'''RENALDO:''' I can't believe that in just two weeks I'll be leaving this office for the last time.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I can't believe that in just two weeks I'll finally be able to get that baloney smell out here office for good!
:'''RENALDO:''' What? I thought you LIKED the smell of my deodorant.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Tucking lunch meat under your arms does not deodorant make, Renaldo.

====Renaldo → Trinket====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' What do you make of this broken half a piece of junk?
:''{Cut to Dangeresque and Renaldo looking down at the camera}''
:'''RENALDO:''' Boy, it looks real familiar, like something your dad had before he—
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{interrupting}'' Kinda looks like a toe. You think it's a toe?
:'''RENALDO:''' ...Sure.

====Renaldo → Dangeresque Too====
:'''Only appears after Dangeresque Too leaves

:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Well, Dangeresque Too left the party in quite a hurry. What do you think he's up to?
:'''RENALDO:''' Ooh, maybe he's planning a surprise party for my retirement!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' We just HAD your retirement party.
:'''RENALDO:''' You did? What a surprise!

====Nunchuck Gun → Renaldo====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{leveling his gun at Renaldo}'' Freeze!
:''{Renaldo screams}''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{laughing as he puts the gun away}'' I never get tired of that.

===Trinket===
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Oh, broken half of a paperweight. You were the last thing my father ever gave me before he left, and the only thing I have to remember him. ''{Takes the trinket}'' Of course, I might not remember him as such a cheapskate if he bothered to give me something that was whole!

'''In extended play'''
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Oh, broken half of a paperweight. You were the last thing my father—
:''{Dangeresque picks up the trinket, but it slips out of his hands and falls on the floor. Background voices laugh.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{breaking character}'' Aw, crap! All right, who got fried chicken grease all over that thing? ''{Clapper board passes over the screen, scene returns to normal}''

====Trinket → Door====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Despite my best efforts, this thing has never really been successful as a door stop sooo... no.

===VCR===
:'''First time only'''
:''{Dangeresque presses play on the VCR. An image shows up on screen, showing Homestar and The Cheat. Homestar is sitting in a chair while obscured from the neck up, and The Cheat is sitting in his lap.}''
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Ok, now? Evil, right? Ok.
:''{swings his chair around and starts grooming The Cheat while speaking his lines}''
:'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' Hello, Dangeresque. If you are watching this, then you have no doubt discovered that I have kidnapped Cutesy Buttons! I also know that you have the formula for the rainforest. Well I can't let that happen! So, here is a list of my demands. First, you bring me the formula so I can destroy it! I also want access to the world's weapons stockpile. And I want a million dollars... in quesos!
:''{He breaks character, speaking cheerfully}''
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ...Ooh, and a pony! ''{The Cheat looks annoyed.}'' Like, the kind with wings and rainbows... ''{swings his chair around}'' ...and, uh, can I get a large melonade? No ice. Thanks The Cheat.
:''{The video stops playing.}''
:'''RENALDO:''' ''{half-heartedly}'' Who was that guy?
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I don't know, Renaldo. He seemed awfully familiar...
:'''RENALDO:''' Oh well, I'll start gathering up his demands. ''{starts walking off}'' I think I know where I can get a used pony cheap.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' No way, Renaldo! Dangeresque doesn't give in to the demands of terrorists! We're going to get Cutesy Buttons back my way... by finding his hideout and breaking into his hideout! Who do you know that can help us?
:'''RENALDO:''' Well, there ''is'' one person, but you're not gonna like it. It's your former enemy, Baron Darin Diamonocle!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{unsettled}'' Aww man, I hate that guy! Once he made me eat a whole bag of stale, three month old, moldy, ranch flavored potato chips. RANCH FLAVORED! So I framed him for endangered puppy trafficking and the murder of several presidents. He's serving hard time in Brainblow State Prison now. I wonder if he remembers me?
:{{short hr}}
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I've seen enough!

===Window===
:'''When Marzipan is absent'''
::'''DANGERESQUE:''' Man, that city is SO at large. ''{Cut to Strong Bad's viewpoint of the "city" with a view of a kiddie pool labeled "SHARK POND!" on it}'' And I have a great view of Brainblow City's majestic public shark pond!

:'''When Cutesy Buttons is present, but Credenza is not in the shark pond'''
::'''DANGERESQUE:''' Take a look at that city, Cutesy Buttons. So full of... stuff that is interesting to turn around and look at. ''{Marzipan briefly looks out the window}''
::'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' Yeah, I don't much like Brainblow City. I can't believe they tore down that mighty oak tree to put in that stupid shark pond!
::{{short hr}}
::'''DANGERESQUE:''' Whoa, check this out! That shark out there is totally making fun of you!
::'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' I don't care. As long as it isn't destroying our precious natural vegetation, it can do whatever it wants.
::{{short hr}}
::'''DANGERESQUE:''' You ever feel like just staring out the window for hours, and not turning around no matter what people are doing to you?
::'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' Not really. I'd rather spend my time tending to the needs of plants whose lives are threatened!

:'''When Marzipan is present, and Credenza is in the shark pond'''
::'''DANGERESQUE:''' Hey, Cutesy Buttons, why don't you take a look out the window?
::'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' Shouldn't you be out getting my formula instead of hanging around the office?
::''{Strong Bad breaks character}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' No, seriously, Marzipan, I think you should look out the window.
::'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{Looks out and sees Credenza in the shark pond}'' Aiiieeee! Credenza, what have they done to you? Hang in there, little one!
::'''COACH Z:''' Aww, that's just mean.

:'''In extended play'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, Brainblow City's majestic shark pond.
::''{Shot of Coach Z sitting in the shark pond}''
::'''COACH Z:''' Come on in, the water's great!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Background voices laugh}'' What the—? Coach Z, get outta there, man! You get out of there! Coach Z...

==Nighttime Office==
'''This scene appears in the game introduction, but is only playable during extended play. It features a more realistic CG version of Strong Bad throughout. Smoke hangs in the air.'''

===On entry===
:''{Strong Bad's POV as he pushes open the door and walks in}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa! I must be dreaming again...

===Chair===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Check out the detail of this chair! You can even see my butt-print worn into the seat if you get close enough! ... But I wouldn't recommend actually getting your face that close.

===Crack===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, crack in the wall. I never knew you had so much character! So much texture! So much... cockroach excrement.

===Door===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, I wonder where this goes? ''{Strong Bad goes through the door, then the scene shifts to Strong Bad coming in through the door of the daytime office.}''

===Desk===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This is my Dangerdesque! Perfect for kicking over and ducking behind for cover.

===Lamp===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The lighting in this room has never been so realistic! It really makes my well-oiled abs stand out!

===Phone===
:''{Strong Bad takes the phone off the hook, and leaves it on the desk.}''
:{{short hr}}
:''{Close-up of Strong Bad's face as he hangs up the phone again.}''

===Window===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Brainblow City has never looked so.... gloomy and dire. It's perfect!

{{SBCG4AP}}

[[Category:Video Game Responses]]

Strong Badia the Free Responses (Bleak House)

AWM2004 — Sat, 01 Oct 2022 16:01:15 GMT

AWM2004: /* When deleting emails */

[[Image:Bleak House.PNG|thumb|"You'll never put out the fire in my people's hearts!"]]
[[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]] has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from [[House of the Brothers Strong|House of Strong]] in [[Strong Badia the Free]].

{{SBCG4AP Responses notation legend}}

==Game Introduction==
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' I don't know but I've been told, E-mail's best when it don't scroll!

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>Dumbest Law</div>
Hey Strong Bad!<br/>
What's the dumbest law the King of Town has ever passed?<br>
Dont you think youd be a better ruler than the King of<br>
Town?<br>
Your pal, Roy T. Castle Hill.
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad pronounces "dont" as dahnt and "youd" as ya-ood}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, Roytee, it goes without saying that I'd be a better ruler than the King of Town. ''{Clears screen}'' But seriously, who wants that job? Stuck in a castle all day, stuck making dumb laws, probably stuck in the bathtub... no thanks, man. ''{Cut to an over the shoulder shot of Strong Bad}'' And the King of Town's mostly harmless. Sure he's stupid looking, ''{Cut to drawing of the King of Town on a sheet of notebook paper, with labeled features including his Dumb Crown, Cheesy Beard, Stupid Red Robe and Fatness.}'' as this scientific diagram illustrates, but he stays out of my business, and that lazy faire approach to government is a welcome alternative. ''{Strong Bad looks at the camera.}'' Ooh, I think I'd like to go the lazy fair.

:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{standing in the doorway}'' Aha! Caught you red gloved-ed.

:'''STRONG BAD:''' The King of Town?! How'd ''you'' get in here?

:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' In flagrant disregard of my new e-mail tax, eh? One Creamy Ding snack cake for every e-mail sent or received!

:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Cut to Strong Bad}'' E-mail tax?! ''{Zoom in}'' Flagrant?! ''{zoom in}'' Creamy ... ''{zoom in}'' Ding?!

:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' Oh, so you refuse to pay? Poopsmith, administer the collar of obedience!

:''{The Poopsmith climbs in through the window, wearing full Municipality riot gear. He clubs Strong Bad off of Stooly to the floor}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' What are you doing?! Hey, cut that out! ''{overlapping}'' Ow! My freedom!

:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' You are under house arrest. You have the right to bribe me. ''{Cut to Strong Bad, who is now wearing a metal collar with a flashing red light.}'' Anything you offer will be eaten by me whether cooked or raw. ''{Cut to exterior shot of front door, showing a pulsating electronic security gate, bearing matching lights to Strong Bad's collar.}'' Try walking past that fence downstairs, and ''{crown flips up}'' ''blammo''! Hope you weren't attached to that head. And one more thing.

:''{The King of Town takes and eats Strong Bad's map from the previous game.}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' My map! I need that!

:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' This'll make sure you stay put until you can pay up! Now let's ride, Poopsmith! Gotta go collect on my new Pour-a-Bag-of-Jellybeans-Down-My-Gullet tax!

:''{The King of Town exits. The Poopsmith follows, crouching behind his shield and walking backwards out of the room.}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' House arrest? Aw man, this is the worse thing to happen to my style in a long line of bad things happening to my style. I gotta find a way outta here, and give that uncharacteristically oppressive King of Town a serious mustache pounding.

==Basement==

===Couch===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The couch is in pretty bad shape. I gotta stop sleeping so hard.

===Couch Stuffing===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Aw man, I knocked the stuffing out of the couch again. ''{Takes stuffing.}'' I gotta stop having those dreams where I'm trapped in an elevator with milkmaid Homestar.

===Television===
:'''DOCUMENTARY NARRATOR:''' ...part 8 of our 24-part series on the history of salt...
:'''Only while under house arrest'''
::'''DOCUMENTARY NARRATOR:''' ...tanks from the 23rd and 48th batallion were flanked by tanks from the enemies' 56th batallion. It was then that General Smedfordshire revealed his secret weapon: a slightly larger tank.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' And we only get the History Unleashed channel! This is torture!
:'''Only after annexing ''The Cheat and Tirerea''.'''
::'''TELEVISION ANNOUNCER:''' Now the long national nightmare is over, thanks to one charismatic leader. Strong Bad, your star is on the rise! ''{Strong Bad chuckles silently}''
:'''Only after annexing ''Bleak House''.'''
::'''TELEVISION ANNOUNCER:''' Better luck next time, dough boy!
:'''Only after annexing ''Pompomerania''.'''
::'''TELEVISION ANNOUNCER:''' Pompomerania, jewel of the east! And now that jewel is in Strong Bad's crown, as he's bounced into their heathen land and showed them how our boys do things back home!
:'''Only after annexing the ''Homsar Reservation''.'''
::'''TELEVISION ANNOUNCER:''' Welcome to the 20th century, Homsar! "Raised by a cup of coffee" indeed!
:'''Only after annexing ''Country''.'''
::'''TELEVISION ANNOUNCER:''' Dateline: Country! Once a proud land filled with proud person, this developing nation now waves a new flag: the Strong Badian empire's.
===Trogdor Game===

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Trogdor continues to torment me with his brokenness and not-workingosity!

==Bathroom==

===Mirror===

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey! who put the Muscleface 2 movie poster up in the bathroom? Uh...oh wait! It's just my reflection!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Who's the star of this game? That's right, you are!

===Red Towel===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad's old security blanket, Strong Mad's new ''{retches}'' "athletic region" towel. ''{Takes towel.}''

===Shower===

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sparkling clean. Must have been Obsessio Depressio's turn to clean the bathroom this week.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{Peeks in}'' It's my turn EVERY week!

===Sink===

:'''STRONG BAD:''' I stopped looking through these cabinets after I found Strong Mad's tube of ''{disgustedly}'' below-the-belt paste. ''{Gets a small case of the jibblies.}''

===Strong Mad's Room===

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Mad's room has been off-limits ever since that crate of bug bombs "mysteriously" went off inside his closet. It should be all cleared out in about a month, though.

===Toilet===

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, toilet humor.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, potty humor.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Uh, commode humor.

==Computer Room==

=== Calendar ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Gotta remember this date: the ''worst'' day in the whimsical history of wrongful imprisonment.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Today, I take over the world! ''{[["Er" pronounced as "Oi"|pronounced ''woild'']]}''

=== Drawing ===
:'''Before adding any objects to the effigy'''
::''{Cut to close up view of the drawing}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Stupid King of stupid Town.
:'''After adding at least one object to the effigy'''
::''{Cut to close up view of the drawing. The body part corresponding with the objects already added is now colored}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I've almost captured the King of Dork's ridorkulous visage, but there's still much work to be dork... I mean, done.
:'''After escaping house arrest'''
::''{Cut to close up view of the drawing}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You, like so many others, will soon learn what it means to cross the Strong Bad.

===Floppy Disks===

:'''STRONG BAD:''' The complete suite of Edgarware anti-spam, anti-virus, anti-malware, anti-mail, anti-productivity, and antidisestablishmentarianism software.

=== Light Switch ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Strong Bad turns the lights off, and then back on}'' Intriguing.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Strong Bad turns the lights off, and then back on}'' Not so intriguing.

===Look at Yard ===
:'''While under house arrest'''
::''{Cut to exterior view. Strong Bad is looking out the window over The Cheat, Homestar, Marzipan, Strong Mad and Coach Z. An effigy of the King of Town stands in front of them, consisting of a white globe mounted on a short pole in the ground bearing the sign "King of Town". A pile of Creamy Dings lies at the base.}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What are ''you'' guys doing here? Can't you see I've got enough troubles? I'm a political prisoner!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{holding her guitar, Carol}'' That's why we're here, Strong Bad. This is a peaceful protest rally.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Peaceful?!
::'''STRONG MAD:''' FREE STRONG BAD!
::'''COACH Z:''' ''{holding a sign which reads ''"KOT = JRK"''}'' No taxin' without representin'!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Save the bats!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I even wrote you a protest song! ''{plays the guitar and sings}'' C'mon everybody now, can't you hear the wind blow? We don't like the King of Town makin' people's heads explode.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Ahh! Cruel and unusual!
:'''After escaping from house arrest'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' At least it's finally quiet out there, and relatively stank-free.

=== Plug ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I can't unplug the Lappy. It takes five to seven business days to fully charge the battery. Lappy don't charge on weekends.

=== Random Shouts ===
:'''Things heard shouted by the protesters outside (also heard when Strong Bad is [[#Looking at Yard|looking out the window]])'''
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No blood for Creamy Dings!
:{{short hr}}
:'''COACH Z:''' No taxin' without representin'!
:{{short hr}}
:'''COACH Z:''' Free Strong Bad!
:{{short hr}}
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{chanting}'' I want a soda!
:{{short hr}}
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Save the bats!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG MAD:''' FREE STRONG BAD!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG MAD:''' LET MY PEOPLE GO!

=== Rave Switch ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{robotically}'' Prepare yourself, test commencing.
:''{Camera zooms in and out, light effects and sound clip from techno play}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{robotically}'' I didn't prepare myself.

=== Sign ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I really gotta update that sign with something more forceful... but, eh, that sounds like too much work.

=== Stooly ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, my trusty steed. Stooly, I'd ride you into email battle any day.

==Kitchen==

===Cereal===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{zoom in on the cereal box}'' What's in the Cheat Commandos-Os box...? ''{finds the eye patch}'' A free sugar-frosted eye patch, just like the one Fightgar wore in the episode "Tickled Pink-Eye!"
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{zoom in on the cereal box}'' Cheat Commandos-Os are a delicious part of this ridiculous breakfast.

===Dead Plant===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{zoom in on Charlemagne}'' Strong Sad's suicidal houseplant. If only we had read his journal, we might have seen the signs...
====Lighter → Dead Plant====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I can't cremate Charlemagne! His license says he's an organ donor.

===Fridge===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{zoom in on Strong Bad opening the fridge}'' I love how the fridge smells like rotting vegetables, when there's never been a vegetable in it. ''{closes the fridge}''

===Front Door===
:'''While under house arrest'''
:''{Cut to Strong Bad walking out the door and past the fence. His head promptly explodes, plastering him against the opposite wall in the Living Room. He peels off and falls to his knees on the floor.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrbbbbt! ''{Shakes the char off his face}'' An invisible fence that makes your head explode when you cross it. Seemed like such an awesome idea when I recommended it at the last town meeting.
:{{short hr}}
:''{He walks out the door. An explosion pastes him to the wall again.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrbbbbt! ''{Shakes the char off his face}'' Shaking off char-head's not nearly as satisfying as shaking off frying pan-head.

==Laundry Room==

===Dryer===
:'''While under house arrest'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{finds camouflage pants}'' I knew if I ran them in the dryer a few hundred times, they'd shrink down to my size.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' The key to surviving in prison is to not hang out in the laundry room for too long. Or Shiv City, as I like to call it.
:'''After escaping from house arrest'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' The emperor's new clothes just need to tumble dry. Then I can put them on.

===Pennants===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Those are pennants from various academic institutions, unaccredited and discredited alike.

===Pillow===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' A big fat pillow filled with big fat dust mites. ''{takes pillow}''

===Washer===
:'''While under house arrest'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' The key to surviving in prison is to not hang out in the laundry room for too long. Or Shiv City, as I like to call it.
:'''After escaping from house arrest'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' The emperor's new clothes just need to tumble dry. Then I can put them on.

==Living Room==

===Carpet===
:''{The first time Strong Bad walks over the carpet only}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Few can withstand the otherwordly horror of Ugrug: the world's ugliest rug.

===Smoke Detector===
:'''Before setting it on fire'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{zoom in on the smoke detector}'' Ah, the smoke detector. AKA: The Place to Find a Spare 9-Volt.
:'''After setting it on fire'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{zoom in on the burning smoke detector}'' To be fair, that fire's not actually smoking.

====Lighter → Smoke Detector====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sets fire to the smoke detector}'' Whoa! That doesn't make me feel very safe.

===Window===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{zoom in on the window}'' Aw, man. Of all the weeks I could've picked to install steel bars on all the ground floor windows. At least it stopped Strong Mad's sleepwalking.
====Lighter → Window====
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Gotta send a top-secret coded message to my man on the outside. ''{holds the lighter in the window, flicking it on and off as he talks}'' Operation...Excelsior...Is...Go. Please...Send...Secret...Plans. ''{receives Teen Girl Squad idea}'' All right! It's... a drawing of an egg. Oh boy, I guess I can make a drawing of an omelet now. ''{signals out the window}'' Thanks...for...nothing...moron.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That'd be a waste of time.

===Plaque (Dog)===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Walks back and forth, watching the plaque}'' I don't like the way that hush puppy's eyes follow me when I walk around.

===Plaque (Horse)===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' How come none of the Dutch Masters ever worked in the medium of wood-burny-on-tree-slice?

==Looking at Yard==
===Invisible Fence===
:''{Cut to view of fence blocking front door}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm a-gonna have to get rid of that fence before I become a sickly pale shut-in like Strong Sad.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{opening the front door}'' Pallor to the people! ''{closes door}''
===King of Town effigy===
:''{Close view of the base of the effigy, surrounded by Creamy Dings, slow pan up, revealing a plain pole bearing the sign "King of Town" and a plain white styrofoam sphere on top}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sarcastically}'' Wow, Marzipan, you've outdone yourself this time. You really nailed the eyes. It's like I'm staring into the King's beer-battered soul.
====If 1-3 inventory items have been used on the Effigy====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Still not quite King of Town like. I better consult my highly scientific schematic diagram.

====Couch Stuffing → Effigy====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The King's ridiculous-looking beard that's supposed to hide his lack of jawline: Check.
:'''The following dialogue occurs after the first inventory item is used on the effigy, regardless of order'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, The Cheat, what's red and fat and smells like rancid meatloaf?
::'''THE CHEAT:''' Mezeh meh?
::'''STRONG BAD:''' No, the other thing!
::'''THE CHEAT:''' Meh, meh!
::''{The Cheat runs towards the effigy (off-screen) and a banging noise is heard. Afterward, cut to the effigy showing the new item added}''
====Paper Crown → Effigy====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Stupid crown that gets the King all up in my grill actin' like he owns the place or somethin': Check.
:''{The Cheat runs towards the effigy (off-screen) and a banging noise is heard. Afterward, cut to the effigy showing the new item added}''
====Pillow → Effigy====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The King's morbid obesity: Check.
:''{The Cheat runs towards the effigy (off-screen) and a banging noise is heard. Afterward, cut to the effigy showing the new item added}''
====Red Towel → Effigy====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Royal Robe in size "husky": Check.
:''{The Cheat runs towards the effigy (off-screen) and a banging noise is heard. Afterward, cut to the effigy showing the new item added}''
:'''The following dialogue occurs after the last of the inventory items is used on the effigy, regardless of order.'''
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, hello King of Town!
::'''COACH Z:''' It's him! That's the guy! Burn 'im up!
::'''STRONG MAD:''' BURN THE KING!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Oh well. Take him out, boys!
::''{Cut to ground up view of The Cheat, Strong Mad, Homestar and Coach Z. The Cheat smiles, pulls out a lighter, lights it, and walks off screen towards the effigy. Cut to a wide shot of the effigy, which bursts into flames and disappears. The two ends of the invisible fence do the same in turn. Cut to a shot of Strong Bad through the window}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Sweet recently divorced lady freedom! ''{He removes the collar and holds it up in the air, it then bursts into flames and disappears}'' Onward to Strong Badia! Strong Badia, ''the Free''!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Hey, that's the name of thi—
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Shut up!
::''{Fade out. fade in on Strong Badia. Strong Bad and The Cheat stand before an audience of Homestar, Marzipan, Pom Pom, Strong Mad, Coach Z and Strong Sad}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Friends and losers, my long incarceration has taught me that we can never be truly free until we reject the fat-thority of The King of Town. Hencetoforthwith, I shall only refer to him as, "The of Town". As of today, Strong Badia is its own independent nation!
::''{All gasp}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' The Cheat, if you will...
::''{The Cheat is shown behind the fence, mashing play on a boom box, organ chords begin to play. Cut to Strong Bad, who stands in front of a Strong Badian flag which fills the whole view}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' We should all live in a place where we are free! Free to pick our friends! Free to pick our noses! And most importantly, free to pick our friends' noses! ''{Strong Badian national anthem begins}'' That's why I, Strong Bad of the Mighty Tighty Whities, declare ''war'' on The of Town! Who's with me?! ''{blowing wind is heard, cut to a wide shot of Strong Badia, where now only Strong Bad and The Cheat remain}'' Where'd everybody go?
::'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises}'' 
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''Seceded!?'' They can't do that! ''I'm'' the only one who gets his own country!

===Mailbox===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, I guess I ''could'' wait for an eviction notice. That would get me out of the house.
===Package===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, ain't that always the way. The one day an interesting package comes in the mail, is the day you get put under house arrest for tax evasion.

===Protestors===
====Protestors → Fence====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Are you losers gonna just stand around losing, or help me get past that fence?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' That would be illegal!
:'''COACH Z:''' I can't go back to the joint again, man! I ain't goin'!
:'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{zoom in on pile of Creamy Dings at the base of the effigy}'' We started a collection to help pay your back taxes. ''You're welcome!''
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Any ideas how I can break house arrest and get past that fence?
:'''MARZIPAN:''' No, but I've got some great ideas for things you can do indoors. Build a birdhouse, make a rabbit lean-to, construct a beetle pagoda—
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Any ideas that don't involve me wanting to blow my brains out?
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Hmm. Probably not.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{whiny}'' I'm never gonna get out of this house!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Don't worry, we'll be here ''every day'' for you until you're released, singing songs 'bout freedom and compression!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{camera slowly zooms out and up into the sky away from Strong Bad}'' Noooooo!

====Protestors → Effigy====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Why'd you bring that ugly, misshapen stick?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' She organized the protest rally!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Not Marzipan! ''{softly}'' Though that's a pretty good one, gotta remember that. ''{speaking normally}'' I'm talking 'bout that stick dangerously close to the invisible fence.
:'''COACH Z:''' That's our orfigy of the King of Town! Er, arfigy. RPG. First person shooter!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Effigy? That looks nothing like the King of Town.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, Marzipan made us take all that stuff off.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Right, Homestar. We're protesting the ''actions'' of the King of Town, not the man himself.
:'''STRONG MAD:''' FIGHT THE POWER!
:'''COACH Z:''' We was gonna burn it, but after lookin' at that pathetic thing, our hearts just ain't in it. We want to fry up the King of Town, not Stickball Jackson.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Shouldn't you all be putting a torch to that quote-unquote effigy?
:'''COACH Z:''' Eh. It's just a stick. Can't really get into protestin' a simple stick.
====Protestors → No King of Town====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, this is ''so'' unfair. I gotta write an angry letter to my doughy congressman.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Didn't you see the warning message about the new e-mail tax?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{imitating Marzipan}'' No, I didn't see the warning message about the new e-mail tax. ''{speaking normally}'' All messages from the King of Town get intercepted with extreme prejudice by my idiot filter.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' But I sent you all kinds of reminder e-mails!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Idiot filter.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' But I sent you all kinds of reminder e-mails!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Idiot— nevermind.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' My people, we can no longer suffer under the invisible boot of this power-mad tyrant. A call to arms! Who's with me?
:'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{shakes his fist in the air}'' STRONG MAD!
:'''COACH Z:''' ''{raises his hand}'' Me!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{looks at his sides}'' I suppose you think you're really funny!

==Outside==

===Mailbox===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's the cover for the instructions for Math Kickers featuring the Algebros! I'm glad I had the foresight to tear the book into individual pages and hide them around the neighbourhood, mailing the cover to myself in case I ever had to secede from the Municipality and unite the country under Strong Badian rule!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Nothing. Say what you will about The Of Town, but at least he got the mail delivered on time.
====Metal Detector → near Mailbox====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{digs up a 3-ring binder}'' All right! It's a priceless treasure from an ancient civilization, AND a great way to get organized for back-to-school!

===Package===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' From: TPA? I wasn't expecting any packages... ''{looks underneath the package}'' Hey, the pilot wings the Trans-Place Airways people awarded me for finishing a flight without crying! Uh... I mean, for LANDING the plane. And saving everybody on board. And making out with all the stewardesses. After the pilot... errr... got a charlie horse. That I gave him.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Nothing interesting.
==Strong Bad Emails==
===When sitting down===
:''During game intro only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' I don't know but I've been told, E-mail's best when it don't scroll!
{{sectionstub}}

=== When deleting emails ===

:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{shouting}'' El Deleto Grande!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Survey says, deleted!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' DEE-LEE-TED!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted!

:''{After each of these, the deleted sound plays, showing a red DELETED! screen which has the Female Lappy with fangs.}''

=== When undeleting emails ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Undeleted!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted no more!

:''{After each of these, the deleted sound plays backwards, showing a cyan UNDELETED! screen.}''

===Email 1: Dumbest Law===
:''Email only appears in game intro. See [[#Game Introduction|Game Introduction]].''

===Email 2: homestarmy===

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: homestarmy</div>
yo strong bad.<br>
is homestar still trying to find ppl to be in the homestarmy.<br>
i want to enlist but only if he helps pay for colledge.<br>
ready to fight, ben f
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad softly pronounces "people" without any vowel emphasis, as spelt in the email. He also over-emphasizes the added "d" in "colledge".}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, benf: the Homestarmy will take jst abt nebdy. ''{the last words of his sentence, "just about anybody", are pronounced briefly and with minimal vowel emphasis like with the "people" spelling above}'' But Homestar ''{an image shows up of Homestar in his Homestarmy getup}'' already blew their entire scholarship fund on an invisible time machine. That I sold him. So sorry, no college fund. ''{clears screen}'' Which bringeth me to my second point: I'm not thinking your biggest obstacle in "colledge" is going to be financial, if you get my drift. I'd start figuring out where in your parents' basement you're gonna hang your Bob Marley poster once you move back in.

===Email 3: Homsar===

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Homsar</div>
Bonjour Strong Bad!<br>
Whats the deal with that Homsar guy? I cant understand a<br>
think he says. Is he making fun of me?<br>
Confused, Paul W. Athens, GA
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad pronounces "Whats" in a nasal voice tone and GA as "nnnn-GUH".}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Bonjour, le Paul. NOBODY can understand a "think" that Homsar says. ''{clears screen}'' Theories abound as to the cause of the baffling condition, but one things for sure: he is, like the rest of us, regardless of language, creed, or beliefs, making fun of you. So thank you, Les Paul, for bringing people together. ''{makes a guitar noise}''

===Email 4: Pom Pom===

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Pom Pom</div>
What's up, Sexy Strong Bad?<br>
Don't take this the wrong way but we think Pom Pom<br>
is the hottest! Is he available?<br>
Jules and Jess, NC.
</blockquote>
:''{After the greeting, Strong Bad replies with "I'm a-liking this one already" in a seducive voice tone. He also reads NC as "noisy chewers".}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, ladies? I guess? If I weren't already swimming in a hundred-dollar-bill-shaped pool full of email offers from co-educated females, I might be offended. ''{A crudely drawn image of Strong Bad swimming in a $100 bill shaped pool filled with email offers appears on screen.}'' But I am--splish! splash! e-mails!--so I can afford to let Pom Pom have a little ovaflow action. ''{clears screen}'' I don't know about his availablity though. He usually stops playing the field at around 100 girlfriends. I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you. Most of the girls Pom Pom dates have names that don't sound suspiciously like TWO DUDES, Jesse the BOY and Jules the VERNES'S great-great grandson. P.S. You both look fat. P.P.S. Double burn.

===Email 5: On Point Kings===

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: On Point Kings</div>
Hey Strong Bad!<br>
What do the rest of the On Point Kings do when your not<br>
hanging out with them? And are you still looking for new<br>
members?<br>
Lloyd, Reno
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad stresses the "your" and pronounces "Reno" as "Reh-NOH". As he types the first paragraph of his reply, a brochure about the On Point Kings shows up on screen.}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' The On Point Kings is a pretty exclusive group, the toughest of the tough, the coolest of the cool, the somethingest of the something. ''{clears screen}'' That pretty much rules out guys in Reno named L-lloyd. We'll keep your resume crumpled up and stuffed down Strong Mad's tube socks, though! As for what The Cheat and Strong Mad do when I'm not around? I imagine they sit around discussing whatever cool thing I did, or said, or sat on earlier that day. Those guys have the unspoken bond of lifelong friends. Which is good, 'cause speaking isn't either of their strong suits.

===Email 6: Tax Decree===

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Tax Decree</div>
Dear citizen,<br>
This message is to inform you of the new EMAIL TAX<br>
effective IMMEDIATELY and RETROACTIVELY in the form of<br>
ONE CREAMY DING SNACK CAKE per message SENT or<br>
RECIEVED, including this one. Please make a note of it.<br>
VIOLATORS WILL BE PERSECUTED.<br>
Your ruler for eternity, the King of Town. P.S. Direct all<br>
complaints to MY HINDER!
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad over-emphasizes all capitalized words in this email.}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' I still say the wording of this message is legally vague.

==Strong Bad's Room==
===Trophy Case===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' My crown from Blubb-O's. ''{takes crown}'' Why did they ever stop making the Jalapeno 'n' King Snake Meat Double Deluxe? ''Why''?!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This is where I usually keep all my trophies and awards, but, uh... they're all out at a ceremony right now, getting trophies for being such good awards.

===Videlectrix Poster===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ahh! My wall is exploding with video games! ''{Quickly zooms in on different parts of the poster}'' Nyaow! Nyaow! Nyaow!

===Dangeresque 3 Poster===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I probably could have finished Dangeresque 3 by now if I hadn't spent so much time working on that teaser poster. Pretty good likeness of the leading man, though. Well hello, Mister Hot-... I'm gonna stop hitting on myself.

===Drawing Table===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Aww, man. I wish I hadn't used up all of my paper drawing that ''{Cuts to the drawing in the computer room}'' scientifically accurate picture of the King of Town. ''{Cuts back to Strong Bad}'' I guess the next issue of Teen Girl Squad will have to wait.

===Metal Detector===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right: the Taranchula Black Metal Detector, now with built-in shovel attachment!!!

===Fun Machine===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Let's see...what game have I got queued up for the Fun Machine! Math Kickers featuring the Algebros? Man, when are videogames gonna learn? You can't learn from videogames!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' A man can never become a warrior until he faces his own darkest equations.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' With the Alge-Bros, math time's fun again!

===Math Kickers Gameplay===

====When defeating a group of enemies====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ha! Take that, played-out internet cliché!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm the MASTER of hand-to-hand arithmetic!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right!

'''If the player used the Divide By Zero move once to clear the group'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sllllice!

'''If the player used the Polar Coordinates move once to clear the group'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Kerrr-ash!

====When approaching a boss====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What's this? Polynomial boss fight attack!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Factor this!

====When defeating a boss====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Take THAT, parabolic equation!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Quadratic formulawesome!

====When moving on to the next level====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Level up!

====When taking damage====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Lame!

====When attacking====
'''Using Ryu's energyball move'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Energyball attack!

'''While punching with Dex or both characters during a boss fight'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Punch! Maim!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ha! Take that, played-out internet cliché!

'''When using the Logarithm move'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Logarithm attack!
:{{short hr}}
'''When using the Divide By Zero move'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Divide by Zero Error!
:{{short hr}}
'''When using the Polar Coordinates move'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Polar Coordinates!

===Bed?===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' With just a bed and a little imagination, home organization is a breeze!
:'''After setting the bed on fire'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Job's done!

====Lighter → Bed?====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Aw mom! I gotta make my bed again? ''{sets the bed on fire}'' Job's done!

==Strong Sad's Room==
===When entering the scene===

'''When Strong Bad walks near, first time only'''
:'''STRONG SAD:''' If you're going to beat me up, make it quick. I've got a full agenda today.

'''When Strong Bad walks near prior to annexing Bleak House, first time only'''
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Welcome to Bleak House, good sir king!

'''Each time thereafter until Bleak House gets annexed'''
:'''STRONG SAD:''' To lasting peace between our nations!

===Strong Sad===
'''While under House Arrest'''
:'''STRONG SAD:''' What was all that noise about?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, great. Stuck under house arrest with no one but Little Lord FATleroy, the most depressing kid brother ever left on the front porch by gross gypsies.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' That's never been proven!

'''When Strong Bad returns after the protesters seceded'''
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Well met, fellow ruler! And welcome to Bleak House, a constitutional monarchy rich in tradition and low in saturated fat. ''{pats his stomach twice}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That is clearly not true.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Yes, yes. I trust you've come to negotiate a peaceful trade agreement between our great nations?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I've come to negotiate a violent military coup between Your Mouthia and Shutupistan.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Hey, you can't push me around anymore, Strong Bad! I'm King of my own nation now, and I've got all the documentation to prove it!

'''During Extended Play'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I hope you learned your lesson, Strong Sad, and you won't do anything as stupid as forming your own country again.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Yes, I've learned much... hey wait, YOU'RE the one who started it!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Tell it to the judge, Dumpling. I'd hate to see what happens to a sweet young thing like you in a treasonous traitors' prison.

====Strong Sad → The King of Town====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The King of Town put me under house arrest!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' HOUSE arrest? That's not fair!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Seriously! I mean... wait. Why are YOU upset?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I was hoping you'd get sent back to prison and I'd get some peace! I've got an unassembled model of the Kon-Tiki that's just waiting for your next incarceration!

====Strong Sad → Fence====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What's the best way to destroy an invisible fence?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Well, if you can short out the transformer, then do that, otherwise burn... hey wait a second. Is this something illegal?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No! It's... a... radio call-in show question. Hurry up so I can be the 4th caller.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I don't want to get charged with aiding and abetting a criminal again!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Come on, Dumplo. Help me get rid of that electric fence.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I won't break the law! You'd probably end up burning the whole house down anyway, with me in it!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, that WAS the plan...

====Strong Sad → Strong Badia====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' So. Doo-doo-ronemy. Why don't you just give up your little delusions of mediocrity and join Strong Badia already?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I'M the one with the flag, the documentation, the infrastructure! Who's to say you shouldn't join MY country?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Okay, no really. You know you're gonna give up and start crying eventually, so why drag it out?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{starts acting nervous}'' I'm still King! I'm still King! I'm still King!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Seriously, your Dumpness. Just give up and join Strong Badia. I got important things to do.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' No! My kingdom will always stand in defiance of you! ''{steps to his left}'' From over here.

'''After Bleak House gets annexed'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, Lumpy. We've got to go annex some more countries if we're gonna attack the Of Town.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Wherever you go, I will follow, my liege!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sigh}'' Don't call me "my liege".

====Strong Sad → Bleak House====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Looks like your invasions of the arts and crafts store have been bountiful, your grayness.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I'm the only one who's doing this secession thing right! As the last of my royal bloodline...
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You can say that again!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ...I have a responsibility to build my country's traditions for generations to come! I sewed that flag by hand! And I bought a whole new calligraphy pen to make our royal constitution and bill of rights!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I take back what I said about your being the last of your bloodline. You TOTALLY know how to impress the ladies. Or at least, how to act like one.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Where'd you find so much black fabric for your stupid flag, anyway?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Oh, I used my old pajamas we threw out for being too highly flammable.

====Strong Sad → Medal====
'''Only available before acquiring the Pilot Wings'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What are you working on now? Gettin' an early start on your terms of surrender?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Shows how much YOU know! I'm designing the medals for all my cabinet members and chiefs of staff!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, you're giving out medals?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Yeah! Purely ceremonial of course, but it makes my subjects feel important.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Who ya got so far?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Well... Senor Cardgage said he'd take my "positron under conflagration", but then I got scared and ran away.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I gotta get in on this givin'-out-medals action.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Hey, that was MY idea first! You probably wouldn't even know where to find one.

====Fake Sword → Strong Sad====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I dub thee... Sir Dumpsalot.

====Katana → Strong Sad====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Naw, it'd take hours to cut through all that blubber. What's the point of using a samurai sword if you can't cleft people in twain?

====Pillow → Strong Sad====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey Dumpelstiltskin. Feeling drowsy?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I am a little... wait a second. Are you going to try and smother me with a pillow again?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, not now, since you've ruined the surprise.

====Pilot Wings → Strong Sad====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey. Your dumpiness, do you want...
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Pilot wings? For me? You really want me on your...
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What was I thinking? No way is Strong Sad cool enough for these things.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No way is Strong Sad cool enough for these things.

===After first item is burned===
:'''STRONG SAD:''' But I... awwww. At least I've still got the other two...

===After second item is burned===
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Hey don't... awwww. Well, I suppose I could become a vassal state...

===After third item is burned===
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Awwwww.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{jumps on Strong Sad's bed}'' Let the Occupation begin!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Well... you can burn whatever you want, but you'll never put out the fire in my people's hearts!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, a resistance movement. How quaint. I trust you've heard of my Secret The Cheat?
:''{Ominous music plays as The Cheat comes towards the front door, holding another lighter and a set of tweezers}''
:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{ignites the lighter}'' Mezehmeh meh meh ze MEH MEH!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' All right, I give up! I'll be usurped by Strong Badia.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Today Blecch House... Tomorrow... the Wo-
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Can I at least be your cultural advisor?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' As long as that doesn't mean you follow me around everywhere and waste my time trying to talk to me. ''{jumps off the bed}''
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Actually, that's exactly what it means.
:''{Old timey music is heard as the screen focuses on the map, with Bleak House now turning red.}''
:'''ANNOUNCER:''' Bleak House surrenders! In a humiliating display of not courage, His Lordship "King" Coolberius Strong Sad Allan Poe the First did everything but collapse into heaving sobs when confronted by Strong Badia's superior military fists. ''{screen focuses on Strong Sad}'' Better luck next time, dough boy!

===sloshy poster===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I used to like sloshy, until I found out they had short hair and glasses.

===Strong Sad's Bed===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad likes to call this his "death bed". I like to call it his "wet-the-bed".

===Bookcase===
'''After escaping from house arrest'''
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{discovers a drawing of a tar pit}'' An ancient scroll with an ancient drawing of an ancient tar pit! This gives me a great idea for the Teen Girl Squad!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Nothing interesting.

===Bleak House Bill of Rights===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' A Proclamation to Prohibit the Burning of Essentiale Itemes ''{pronounced Essentia-lay Item-ay-say}''.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Yeah, I'm the law now, and there'll be no more of you and The Cheat ruining all my stuff and undergarments!

====Lighter → Bleak House Bill of Rights====
''{Strong Bad burns the Bill of Rights; one of the three prompts is triggered.}''

===Bleak House Constitution===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The Constitution of Bleak House, volume one...?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You can't have a country without a constitution, so that was the first thing I made!

====Lighter → Constitution====
''{Strong Bad burns the Constitution; one of the three prompts is triggered.}''

===Bleak House Flag===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Only Strong Sad could make a flag both depressing and so utterly forgettable.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Thanks. It took me forever to make.

====Lighter → Flag====
''{Strong Bad burns the Flag; one of the three prompts is triggered.}''

===Box===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{looks underneath the box}'' A souvenir flag from Blecch House?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I had 2,000 of them made specially for my inauguration. It took my entire life savings.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's empty.

===Fake Sword===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's the dull fake sword Strong Sad uses for his... shudder... live-action role playing. ''{takes it}'' Never before have PVC pipe and duct tape forged so mighty a blade!

{{SBCG4AP}}
[[Category:Video Game Responses]]

Homestar Ruiner Responses (House of Strong)

AWM2004 — Sat, 01 Oct 2022 16:00:01 GMT

AWM2004: /* When deleting emails */

[[Image:Homestar Ruiner Techno.PNG|thumb|"Ahh, I sometimes get tired of that."]]
[[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]] has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from [[House of the Brothers Strong|House of Strong]] in [[Homestar Ruiner]].

{{SBCG4AP Responses notation legend}}

== Game Introduction ==
:''{over the course of singing the song, Strong Bad walks through the house, starting asleep on the couch in the basement, and finishing upstairs sitting in front of the Lappy in the computer room}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Rhino... Rhino Feeder...''{vigorous head shaking noise}'' wuh oh! I was dreaming about... muffins.

:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{half singing}'' I wake up every morning feeling awesome. Even though I slept on the remote again last night— ow! ''{kicks The Cheat into the dryer}''

:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Time to tear up another day, the Strong Bad freakin' way!

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Like an imploding star, like a burning car, my style shines so bright!

:''{high fives Strong Mad}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' Please, stop trying, to handle my style. 'Cause you can't, no you can't, ''{grunts}'' handle my style.

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Seriously, quit trying to handle my style. Unless you're a lady... ''{Throws box of cereal at Strong Sad}''

:'''STRONG SAD:''' Oh!

:'''STRONG BAD:''' ...Then you're cordially invited to have a giant slice of my styyyyyle!

:''{[[Strong Bad Email|Strong Bad checks his email]]}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm gonna check my email, my email, my email! I'm gonna check my whaaaat?

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Beat Homestar?</div>
Dear Strong Bad, I've got a question: If you hate Homestar<br>
so much, why dont you just beat the snot out of him? Are<br>
you chicken or something?<br/>
Confused,<br/>
Eddie M., Frenchtown, CA.
</blockquote>
:''{reads "dont" as spelled, reads confused as "Con-fussed"''}

:'''STRONG BAD''': ''{typing}'' First of all, I don't think a Frenchy like yourself is in any position to be calling anyone "chicken", ''{with a heavy french accent}'' comprende-vous cordon bleu? ''{clears screen, talking normally}'' Secondly, I'm pretty sure I don't want to beat the ''snot'' out of Homestar... I mean, have you ever listened to the guy? He's ''obviously'' got a LOT of gunk up there. I could handle beating tar, the stuffing, or the ''{holds the 'e', but not typed}'' into next week out of him though. ''{steps back from the Lappy}'' I bet I could find Homestar down at Coach Z's Track, running in place or something.

==Basement==

===Couch===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Keep on keepin' my butt print warm for me couch.

===Trogdor Arcade Game===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I can't play Trogdor until '''someone''' gets off their pasty white butt and fixes the joystick.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{muffled}'' I'm workin' on it! But the parts are on back order!

===Television===
:'''Before Homestar's arrival'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, it's that infomercial for the Ab-Abber 2000. It claims you can get a 9-pack in less than 40 scribbles a day!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey! It's the Laugh Trackalicious Adventures of Guy and Girlfriend! Oh, this is the one where Guy thinks he kills Girlfriend's hamster and tries to replace it with another hamster but the first hamster had been dead all along so Girlfriend thinks it came back to life and then the hilarity— and the humor— and the original comedy television writing!
:'''When Homestar is present'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Time for a few hours of retina frying entertainment!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Don't touch that dial!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Why not?
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Look!
::'''TELEVISION ANNOUNCER:''' Have you seen this, um, man? He was last seen streaking out of Coach Z's locker room, naked as the day he was born.
::'''COACH Z:''' ''{on television}'' It all happened so fast... one minute I was definitely not just standing around by myself, and the next thing I knew there was this high-pitched scream!
::'''KING OF TOWN:''' ''{on television}'' Of course I screamed. Who wouldn't scream at the sight of all that pruny, shower-fresh flesh barreling right towards your moustache!
::'''TELEVISION ANNOUNCER:''' The King of Town has issued an all-points bulletin for the mysterious nudenik, and sealed the negatives of this incriminating security photo in his castle's Hall of Records for further study.
::'''KING OF TOWN:''' Studying is fun!
::'''TELEVISION ANNOUNCER:''' In the meantime— ''{Homestar and Strong Bad talk over him}'' if you happen to come across this lewd, nude dude, do not, we repeat, do not approach him, as he may be armed and dangerous. Okay. Maybe not armed.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' See? I'll never be able to show my face in public as long as I've got a criminal record at the King of Town's Hall of Records!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Actually, I don't think it's your face you should be worried about showing.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, you mean my feet? Yeah, they are pretty big.
::{{short hr}}
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Don't change the channel! I'm tracking the progress of my very own personal pan-nationwide manhunt!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' More like nationwide '''''GET OFF MY COUCH!'''''
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, no.
:'''After Homestar has left the couch, but still inhabits the house elsewhere'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' There's nothing I'd rather do than max and relax in front of the TV... but I'll ''never'' be able to enjoy it as long as Homestar's still moping around my house like a wussier version of Strong Sad.
::'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{from upstairs}'' I heard that!
:'''During Party'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I'll never be able to get back to watching scrambled premium cable until I get these annoying party people out of here.

===Homestar Runner===
==== Criminal Record → Homestar ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, take a look at this!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What is it?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's the one and only copy of your criminal record, stolen by awesome Strong Bad out from under the King of Town's butter stained nose.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I don't believe it! Awesome Strong Bad could never pull that off!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' If you don't believe me, then believe the all-knowing wisdom of local television news! ''{turns to watch the television}''
:'''NEWS ANCHOR:''' —cats wearing clown costumes really ''do'' make a difference. Thanks for that important story, Mindi. In other news, citizens were shocked today when the King of Town's Hall of Records was brazenly burglarized by an unknown masked assailant.
:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{on television}'' He took everything! Everything! Cleaned the place out!
:'''NEWS ANCHOR:''' Without the criminal records, the King admits that he has no institutional memory of any crimes being committed... anywhere... ever.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yay! I'm free to show my face in in public again! And maybe the rest of me too!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You nasty. ''{Homestar leaves}'' Finally, the TV belongs to its one true master again!

====Homestar → Television====
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Can we watch something a little less... yokel than local news?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No way, man! I need to keep up-to-date on all the details of my scandalous downfall and nationwide manhunt!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Dude, it's a public nudity charge. I've done more scandalous things while buying a pair of brown and tan socks.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Look, there I am again! Oh the shame!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' So, just to be sure, there's no way I'm gonna talk you off of this couch, right?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Not until I'm no longer a wanted criminal.

== Computer Room ==
=== Floppy Disks ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's where I keep disks one through twenty four of all my favorite games.
=== No Loafing Sign ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I put up that sign, but the stupid walls are still loafing all the time.
=== Stooly ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, my trusty steed. Stooly, I'd ride you into email battle any day.
=== Calendar ===
:'''Before visiting the Track'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Today's the day I finally give Homestar his long overdue pummeling.
:'''After visiting the Track for the first time'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Today's the day I finally give Homestar his long overdue pummelling... in that Race to the End of the Race thing.
:'''After Homestar starts moping around'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Today's the day I finally get Homestar outta' my freakin' house!
:'''During the party'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Today's the day I get this stupid party outta' my house so I can finally finish checkin' my e-mail!

=== Light Switch ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Strong Bad turns the lights off, and then back on}'' Intriguing.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Strong Bad turns the lights off, and then back on}'' Not so intriguing.

=== Rave Switch ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{first time only}'' Check this out!
:''{Camera zooms in and out, light effects and sound clip from [[techno]] play}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ahhh, I sometimes get tired of that.
:{{short hr}}
:''{Strong Bad plays another [[techno]] rave}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, I'm definitely tired of that.

=== Plug ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I can't unplug the Lappy. It takes five to seven business days to fully charge the battery. Lappy don't charge on weekends.

==Homestar Runner==
:'''In any of the three rooms Homestar inhabits'''
===Homestar → Homestar===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, Homestar, it's time for you to go. There's no room in the House of Strong for crybabies.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What about Strong Sad?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I'm not a crybaby, I'm tormented!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Okay, there's room for ''one'' crybaby in the House of Strong, and that position's been filled. Out you go!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No way. I'm not leaving until my life is back to the wonderful way it used to be.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Guess what, Homestar! Everything's all better again!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Prove it.
=== When all Homestars have left the building ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, do you hear that? That, my hot ladies, was the sweet sound of Homestar's tuchus being surgically removed from my house. Ya hear that, house? It's just you and me.
:''{clock wipe to computer room, Strong Bad is sitting at the Lappy}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' So there you have it, Monsieur Manure: the video ga—
:'''PARTY GOERS:''' Surprise!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What the—?
:''{cut to downstairs, pan across to kitchen showing Marzipan, Homestar, Coach Z, Bubs and The King of Town}''
:'''PARTY GOERS:''' Whoopie! ''{singing, out of sync and tune with each other}'' For he's a jolly good fellow, which nobody can deny!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{coming downstairs}'' I'll deny you oxygen to your lungs if you don't get outta here!
===When Strong Bad walks near===
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh the pain...
:{{short hr}}
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Does despair have one ''G'', or two?
:{{short hr}}
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh hi Strong Bad... ''{sighs}''
:{{short hr}}
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{sighs}''

==Kitchen==

=== Banana Peel ===
:'''When the King of Town is eating'''
::''{Strong Bad attempts to pick up the peel, but the King of Town blocks him}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey!
::'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{burp}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Nevermind.
:'''During the Conga line'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Sweet, a banana peel! The King of Town must have been pretty desperate to eat something as healthy as this.

=== Bubs ===
==== Bubs → Bubs ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Wait a minute, if you're here, who's minding the concession stand?
:'''BUBS:''' Oh, I got that covered.
:''{cut to the Concession Stand. The Poopsmith is behind the counter.}''
:'''THE POOPSMITH:''' ''{holds up a sign reading ''Half off all Whatsit!''}''
:''{Strong Bad shakes his head}''
==== Bubs → Music ====
:'''While ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years'' is playing'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Why aren't you out there mope-dancing?
::'''BUBS:''' I'm just too naturally Bubsly to dance like that.
:'''While ''Coach Z's demo'' is playing'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey—
::'''BUBS:''' Can't talk now, everybaddy! I'm doin' the broken robot! ''{robotically}'' Malfunction! Vort! Vort! Vort! Vort!
:'''While ''Jane's Austentacious Chamber Music Jam'' is playing '''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Why aren't you out there cutting a 19th century rug?
::'''BUBS:''' I would, but Coach Z's the only one who's asked me to dance, and he's a big ''green'' job!
::'''COACH Z:''' ''{Calling out to Bubs}'' Yoo-hoo!

==== Bubs → Party ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What are you doing here, Bubs? You ''hate'' Marzipan's parties!
:'''BUBS:''' Yeah, but I love the stuff in ''your'' fridge!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Bubs, I love ya like a distant cousin-in-law, but ''you've got to get out of here''!
:'''BUBS:''' No way, man! I'm just gettin' warmed up!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' '''''Get out!'''''
:'''BUBS:''' Mmmmm... nope.

=== Chef's Hat ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Now that I've gotten rid of Homestar, I can finally put this awesome chef's hat in my photo booth wardrobe.

===Dead Plant===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This is Charlemagne, Strong Sad's plant. It used to be healthy, but after Strong Sad started talking to it, it decided to kill itself!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' That's not true!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's not what the note said!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's Strong Sad's suicidal plant.

===Dishes===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'll do the dishes once our skeet shooty flinger gets fixed.

===Fridge===
:'''Before Party'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hit me witcha best food shot, fridge o' mine! ''{opens fridge}'' The only thing in here is some paleolithic Fluffy Puff Mayonnaise. Looks like someFATbody needs to go to the store.
::'''STRONG SAD:''' It was my turn last time!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Eww, that mayonnaise is so ancient, its expiration date is chiseled on a stone tablet.
:'''Only while Homestar is in the kitchen'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What happened to all the food?
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What food? The fridge was empty when I got here!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh. Yeah.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You know, you plan on staying here, you'll have to take your turn stocking the fridge.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No problem, old chum! Whose turn is it now?
::'''STRONG SAD:''' Strong Bad's!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You shut up!

:'''During Party'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Peanut Extract Cola, Eggplant Fritters, Frozen Double Vegan Sundaes... Yeah, this is a Marziparty all right.

:'''In Extended Play'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I think they say that once it turns a light grey, it's safe to eat again.
=== Fruit & Veggies Pizza ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Normally, I'd be pouncing on these pizzas like The Cheat on a wounded Twinkie, but I draw the line at veggie pizzas. Especially veggie pizzas with olives and extra King of Town slobber.

===Homestar Runner===

=== Candy → Homestar ===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey mopedog!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Have some candy!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Ewww, packing peanuts! That sounds like something Marzipan would like! ''{sighs}'' Marzipan...
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Great, now he's sighing.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sure you don't want any of this (and I use the term loosely) candy?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{sadly}'' No, the smell of organic packing peanuts reminds me of... Marzipan... wah-huh-hah!

=== Cell Phone → Homestar ===
:'''Before giving the candy to Marzipan'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm not giving up this object of enormous pranking potential until it's absolutely necessary.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Not yet, my pretty.
:'''After having successfully left the Candy for Marzipan'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey Homestar! Look who found your cell phone!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What would I want with a phone? It's not like anyone will ever call me again.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Anyone? Not even ''{dials voicemail}'' Marzipan?
::'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{recording on phone}'' Homestar? It's Marzipan. I want you to know that while I'm still a little bit sore ''{Homestar saddens more}'' that you burned down most of my backyard, I've accepted your chocolate apology, ''{Homestar brightens}'' and am prepared to be your girlfriend again. Good bye!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' The candy worked? Hooray! Waitaminute... when did I give her candy?
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You don't remember? You sent me over to her house a few hours ago with a big box of chocolate-covered organic packing peanuts.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh yeah, that ''sounds'' like something I'd do. So what am I doing in your kitchen now with all this cooking stuff?
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Beats the crap outta me.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Well, I'll just go then.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Yes please. ''{Homestar leaves}'' At last, the kitchen and all its four year old condiments are mine again! Bwah-hah-ha-haaa!

==== Homestar → Chef's Hat ====
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What's with all the cooking?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' The Cheat told me that the way to a woman's heart is through her stomach, so I'm endeavoring to prepare a scrumptious confection to win back Marzipan's a-love.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sounds like a plan. How's it going?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Not so good. Marzipan's vegan and most of the food in here contains meat, milk, milky meat, or ...meaty milk?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, don't be dissin' my meaty milk!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Any closer to finishing off that make-up candy for Marzipan?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No. I'm starting to think it's all hopeless.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, maybe Dr. Strong Bad can write a prescription to cure Homestar's broken heart. A candy prescription. For Marzipan. To eat.

=== Jela-ton™ ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey now, what's this? ''{Strong Bad takes and reads note from crate}''
:'''COACH Z:''' ''{voiceover}'' Dear Homestar, even though you thoroughly disgraced yourself at the Race to the End of the Race, rules are rules. Please enjoy this lifetime supply of Fluffy-Puff Jela-Ton™, the official second place prize of the F-C-U-T-R-E-R. Yours truly, Coach Z. PS Never show your giant face around my track ever again!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm. Homestar'll probably feel a lot better if I get rid of this unpleasant reminder of his humiliating defeat. I know ''I'll'' feel a lot better — I ''love'' Jela-Ton.

=== The King of Town ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey!
:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{eating noises}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' He's even more ravenous than usual, almost like he's spent the last few hours in a deep dark hole... or something.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey there!
:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{eating noises}''

===Microwave===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I cant use the WavyMic, its door's stuck shut with nacho entrails and mangled action figures.

===Outside===
:'''During the party only. The same response is received if attempting to leave the area via the map.'''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' No way, man. I'm not going anywhere until I've kicked everyone whose name doesn't begin with "Strong" out of my house! Except The Cheat. I'm just gonna kick him.

==Laundry Room==

===Washer and Dryer===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Only Strong Sad seems to know the secrets to these mysterious mechanical devices.
'''Dryer only, when The Cheat is inside'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' How you doing in there, The Cheat?
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Me-mehr mimimi me mehr mer, me meh! 
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey! Do you kiss your hot mom with that mouth?!?

===The Cheat===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey! Look at that thing, over there.
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Mehr me meh me? 
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Holy pixelated Trogdor, what's that?
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Me mihr? 
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, turn around.
:'''THE CHEAT:''' Wii? 
:{{short hr}}
:''{Regardless of what is said above, Strong Bad kicks The Cheat into the dryer}''

===Pennants===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Those are pennants from various academic institutions, unaccredited and discredited alike.

==Living Room==

=== Banana Peel → Conga Line ===
:'''While the Luxa Louger is up, and the Conga line is moving towards the left'''
::''{Strong Bad places the banana peel in the living room}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You know, this is a really dangerous idea. Someone could trip on this poorly-placed banana peel and go flying right out the window. Yup, sure is dangeous...
::''{each steps on the banana peel in turn, not slipping}''
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Whoops!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Whooo!
::'''BUBS:''' Heeey!
::'''COACH Z:''' Yorp!
::'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' Yip! ''{inadvertantly flings the banana peel, which lands on Strong Bad}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Arrg!

:'''While the Conga line is to the right'''
::''{Strong Bad places the banana peel in the kitchen}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh my, I've dropped my banana peeeeel! I hope no one slips on it!
::''{each steps on the banana peel in turn, not slipping}''
::'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' Yip!
::'''COACH Z:''' Yorp!
::'''BUBS:''' Heeey!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Whooo!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Whoops! ''{inadvertantly flings the banana peel, which lands on Strong Bad}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Arrg!

:'''While Luxa Lounger is down, and the Conga line is moving towards the window'''
::''{Strong Bad places the banana peel in front of the window}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I love the way I think!
::''{each slips on the banana peel in turn at falls out the window}''
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Whoa!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Wh-Whoa!
::'''BUBS:''' Hey— awesome!
::'''COACH Z:''' What the-?! I regret everything!
::'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' Oh, look! A banana! Peeeel!
::''{The King makes a heavier thud than the others when they fall. All are heard groaning}''
::''{Strong Bad turns off the See Dee Spinner}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' That's what happens when you mess with General Flexmypecs! Tha—That's me. I sometimes call myself General William Flexmypecs. Now maybe I can get some freakin' piece of quiet around here...
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{off-screen}'' Ow, my snot!
::''{cut to the epilogue}''

=== Coach Z ===
:'''While ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years'' is playing'''
::'''COACH Z:''' This music really captures the dark empty abyss in my soul!
:'''While ''Coach Z's demo'' is playing'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey—
::'''COACH Z:''' Hey, ho! One, two three. I got this party mad jumpin' cuz I'm Coach Z!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Stop it.
::'''COACH Z:''' Stop it, drop it, don't try it till ya knock it! Coach Z shock like an electrical socket!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' This is getting me nowhere.
::'''COACH Z:''' Nowhere to run, nowhere to walk. I'm gonna draw you up a play with my locker-room chalk.
:'''While ''Jane's Austentacious Chamber Music Jam'' is playing '''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Why aren't you dancing?
::'''COACH Z:''' I would, but that rascal Bubs won't do me the honor! ''{Calling out to Bubs}'' Yoo-hoo!
::'''BUBS:''' ''{annoyed}'' Shut up, dummy!

==== Coach Z → Coach Z → Angel ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You're looking particularly oblivious tonight, Coach.
:'''COACH Z:''' Why thank you there, Strong Bad. Nothing like a praty with lots of free roughage to perk a guy up!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I hear the Swedes were really happy with the way you ran the Race to the End of the blahblahblah
:'''COACH Z:''' Really?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh yeah. I heard them on the TV saying "vimsky vomsky dimalaya libomski, bork bork bork!" ... Or something like that.
:'''COACH Z:''' That's just super!

==== Coach Z → Coach Z → Devil====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm sorry to hear that "Homestar" took the race trophy from you.
:'''COACH Z:''' Oh, that's okay there, Brong Strad. You know what they say, "Records were meant to be broken into little bitty pieces."
:'''STRONG BAD:''' But still, to have your one shining moment of glory so unceremoniously choke-slammed into the trash can of history by such a well-known loser like Homestar?
:'''COACH Z:''' ''{Uncertain}'' No really, it's okay... ''{sighs}''
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, you may not be the Race to the End of the Race Champion any more, but you've still got your creepy health, right?
:'''COACH Z:''' Yeah, I guess.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, what's that?
:'''COACH Z:''' What?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That giant mole on your...
:'''COACH Z:''' Where? Where?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, I'm sure it's nothing.
:'''COACH Z:''' ''{sighs}''

==== Coach Z → Party ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What do you think you're doing here?
:'''COACH Z:''' Thanks for throwing this praty! I love praties!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'll put this in shouts of one syllable: ''GET OUT OF MY HOUSE''!
:'''COACH Z:''' No thanks, SB. I need a hootenanny like this to pick me up after the awful way Pom Pom broke my heart with all his cheatin' and chortin' 'n' nonchalant cavortin'.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I hate you. Leave.
:'''COACH Z:''' Nope.

=== Conga Line ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey—
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Whoo hoo!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Choo choo!

=== Marzipan & Homestar ===
:'''If wearing Homestar disguise'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, hewwo, Marzipan.
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Hello Strong Bad.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What? How did you know it was me?!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Well, you nearly had me fooled, but then I remembered that the real Homestar is standing right next to me!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, he is!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hewwo, evewybody!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Why hello, Homestar...
::'''MARZIPAN:''' You're not fooling anyone, Strong Bad.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, Homestar.

:'''While ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years'' is playing, both speak slowly and sadly'''
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I'm too depressed to talk...
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, me too. I just can't stop gazing at my shoes.
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I wish my hair was black.

:'''While ''Coach Z's demo'' is playing'''
::'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{crossly}'' Hip-hop objectifies women.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{breakdancing}'' Word.

:'''While ''Jane's Austentacious Chamber Music Jam'' is playing '''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey—
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I do believe that dreary Mr. Bad is attempting to interrupt our dance, Mr. Homestar.
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I should say, what an appalling breach of common civility.
::'''MARZIPAN:''' I concur.

==== Marzipan & Homestar → Party ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I thought the Homestar Victory Party supposed to be in your backyard?
:'''MARZIPAN:''' It was, but then some not-very-nice person torched most of my very nice decorations.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Booooo!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh yeah. Sorry 'bout that. It was for the greater good. The greatest good, in fact. You know, mine.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What would it take to get you to move this dorkfest someplace that isn't my house?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Twenty-three dollars.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' We're not going anywhere until we've sufficiently busted moves and/or grooves!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, that's not good. It usually takes Marzipan at least eight hours to fully bust moves, and as for Homestar...
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Shake it loose, shake it tight, gimme the juice, it's Saturday night!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' He's busting something, all right. Or maybe he's just plain busted.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' '''''GET OUT!'''''
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' No way, man. I gotta keep shakin' this here thang.
==== Marzipan & Homestar → Trophy ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You know, Homestar didn't ''really'' win the ''{fanfare}'' Race to the End of the Race.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I didn't?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No! It was me, in a totally-not-the-head-from-Marzipan's-float Homestar mask!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Bwhaa-ha-ha-ha.
:'''MARZIPAN:''' Hee hee hee!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, that's rich, Strong Bad.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No, really! It was me all along!
:'''MARZIPAN:''' The joke's wearing a little thin, Strong Bad.

===Melonade===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You've gotta see it when Strong Mad shotguns one of these things.
:'''During the party'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Mad's gonna be seriously miffed off when he finds out they've tapped his melonade keg!

===See Dee Spinner===
:'''Before party'''
::''{Ordinary background music playing}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Let's see what's in the ol' See Dee Spinner. ''{changes music}'' Uh. It's Strong Sad's copy of ''The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years.''
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{changes music}'' Sounds like Coach Z has forced another one of his demos unto the world.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I've had just about enough of that. Let's see what else is in there— ''{changes music}'' Oh joy, it's that copy of ''Jane's Austentacious Chamber Music Jam.'' I'd like to use this CD as a chamber ''pot''.
::'''STRONG MAD:''' MISTER DARCY!!! ''{sniff}''
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{changes music}'' Whoa, what's this? The Cheat's Assorted Latin Rhythms?
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Enough with the music already! ''{changes back to original music}''
:'''During Party, when switching to ''The Cheat's Assorted Latin Rhythms''.'''
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' All right! Conga line everybody! Adoot-doot-doot doot-doot doo-''doo''!
::''{The party goers form a conga line}''

===Smoke Detector===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That smoke detector hasn't had a battery since that day I made Strong Sad eat a 9-volt Po'Boy.

===Window===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sometimes I like to stand in front of my window and start flexing in case a girls' volleyball team is walking by.
:''Second time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I know it's hard to tell from this angle, but the view from here is awesome!
:''Each time thereafter''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You wouldn't think, since we're on the first floor and everything, but the drop-off from this window's like, 20 feet or something.

===Luxa Lounger===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{reclines chair}'' The Luxa Lounger is even more comfortable in its "Ridiculously Overextended" mode.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{unreclines chair}'' The Luxa Lounger is great lounging-based needs, but man does it take up a lot of real estate!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{reclines chair}'' Luxa Lounger Powers, activate!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{unreclines chair}'' Doodle-oot!

[[Image:Horse-plaque.png|thumb|135px|The loneliest goat sees the last sunset last...]]

===Plaque (horse)===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{reading plaque}'' "The loneliest goat sees the last sunset last" — that's a horse.

===Plaque (dog)===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{reading plaque}'' "The Cheat, watch your freakin' back, Squeaky!" Man that's one intimidating hushpuppy.

==Outside==
===Mail Box===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Checkin' my snail mail, checkin' my snail mail! Hmmm, what's this? ''{finds a ski cap}'' I'm ready for the big heist! Those smoky red laser beams don't stand a chance when I'm in this get up!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, I think I'll put it in my fancy schmancy transdimensional photo-booth wardrobe.
:'''After being emptied'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' It's empty now. On account of all the emptyin' I did earlier.
===Pile of Dirt===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh nophers, we've got gophers.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{pops out of the bushes}'' Actually, true gopher holes are more elliptical in nature, and—
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, it's gophers...
:'''STRONG SAD:''' (Sigh)... ''{leaves scene}''
===Treasure Marker===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, there's buried treasure just outside my front door! I hope it's a bubblin' crude.
====Shovel → Treasure Marker====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, front yard, hit me with your best shot! ''{digs}'' What the—!? ''{finds a page of the Snake Boxer 5 manual}''

== Strong Bad Emails ==
===When sitting down===
:'''If Strong Bad is wearing the Homestar Runner costume'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{taking off Homestar suit}'' I don't think I should wear my Homestar costume here. It's too confining and um, clumsy.

:''During game intro only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' I'm gonna check my email, my email, my email. I'm gonna check my whaat?
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm just over here checkin' my e-mail, and your breath smells really bad...
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' When Strong Bad checks his e-mail, a cute fish dies.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' Gimme the e-mails, Lappy. Shamalama dingalama domalama damow...
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm checkin' e-mails from Awesome to Zawesome!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I kick you in the head with my e-mail boot!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{rapping}'' Don't brag and boast, just spread a little email all on your toast!

=== When deleting emails ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Survey Says! — Deleted.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Dee! Lee! Ted!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' El Deleto Grande!

:''{After each of these, the deleted sound plays, showing a red DELETED! screen which has the Female Lappy with fangs.}''

=== When undeleting emails ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deteled! That's... deleted backwards.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted no more!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Delete, meet un!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Undeleted!

:''{After each of these, the deleted sound plays backwards, showing a cyan UNDELETED! screen.}''

=== Email 1: Beat Homestar? ===
:''Email only appears in game intro. See [[#Game Introduction|Game Introduction]].''

=== Email 2: Pummelling? ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Pummelling?</div>
Dear Strong Bad: Is it true that you're going to be<br/>
beating the snot out of Homestar soon? Because I'd<br/>
like a piece of that action. Taking the under over,<br/>
Dan O'Meara, County Cork, Ireland.
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad pronounces the last name "Oooh Meeeera", and says "Country Crock" instead of "County Cork"}''
:{{short hr}}
:'''When checking the email a second time'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh yeah, beating the snot out of Homestar. I should probably get back to that someday.

=== Email 3: Got Bulk? ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Got Bulk?</div>
Dear Mr. Strang L. Bod, Are you feeling athletically<br/>
inadequate? Is your six-pack more of a pony keg? Do your<br/>
muscles have less definition than a first grader's dictionary?<br/>
Then why not get on the Adonis train with a crate of TOTAL<br/>
LOAD TOTAL BODY FITNESS ENERGY ENHANCEMENT<br/>
POWDER!!! Totally Safe! Totally Organic!! Totally<br/>
Awesome!!! Order a free sample of TOTAL LOAD TOTAL<br/>
BODY FITNESS ENERGY ENHANCEMENT POWDER today,<br/>
and begin to TOTALLY TRANSFORM your body today!!!!Limit<br/>
one per customer.
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad reads his misspelled name as a question. After reading the product name the first time, he looks at the camera and says "Hey, this stuff sounds great!", and stops reading the email at that point}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing as he speaks}'' Dear Total Load Peoples, Although I personally am endowed with bulging biceps that have been described as "bad boys," "pipes," and "thunder bludgeons," it never hurts to get a heroically chiseled leg up on the competition. Please send me a free sample of your wonderful product immediately. Grape flavor. Yours truly, Strong Bad.
:{{short hr}}
:'''When checking the email a second time'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I probably can't get another free sample.

=== Email 4: Your Head ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Your Head</div>
Dear Mr. Bad, MY BROTHER AND I WERE WONDERING<br>
WHOSE HEAD IS BIGGER: yours or Homestar's?<br>
Quizzically, Jay and Jim Rosen, Brookyln, NY.
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad shouts the capitalized part}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, that's a good question. I should go do some field research.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm.

=== Email 5: Hey There! ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Hey There!</div>
Hey there, every peoples! If you're one of the many bodies<br>
watching the Race to the End of the Race today, why not<br>
top if off with a vist  to Bubs Concession Stand! We've got<br>
candy bars, lawn mowers, ketchup, Egyptian artifacts, and<br>
games for the kids! Look for our piles of coupons at the <br>
track, good for one box of awesome free candy while<br>
supplies last! Bubs Concession Stand - We've Got <br>
Everything, Twice!
</blockquote>
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Free, eh? I ''might'' be able to afford that...
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I never should've signed up for Bubs' Free Weekly Spamvertisements. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I never did.

=== Email 6: Tie-Things ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Tie-Things</div>
Hey Strtong Bad,<br>
What's the deal with the little tie-things on<br>
the backa your mask?<br>
-Christine B
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad pronounces "Strtong" as "Stir-tong"}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' More like Christine D+, as in you get one, in life! Y'know, I was gonna ask you something similar, Christine. What's the deal with that giant nose-thing on the ''front of your face?!''

=== Email 7: Total Load Confirmation ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Total Load Confirmation</div>
Dear Mr. Strang L Bod, THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST IN<br/>
TOTAL LOAD TOTAL BODY ENERGY ENHANCING POWDER!!!<br/>
A SAMPLE JAR OF TOTAL LOAD TOTAL BODY ENERGY<br/>
ENHANCING POWDER HAS BEEN SENT FROM OUR CENTRAL<br/>
WHEREHOUSE  TO OUR LOCAL DISTRIBUTOR - BUBS C.<br/>
STAND. You will be notified by email when your totally <br/>
awesome jar of TOTAL LOAD TOTAL BODY ENERGY <br/>
ENHANCING POWDER arrives. Thanks you for your interest,<br/>
TOTAL LOAD TOTAL etc., INC.<br/>
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad stresses the incorrectly plural word "Thanks"}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Bubs distributes Total Load? Man, he carries everything!

=== Email 8: Total Load Arrival ===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Total Load Arrival</div>
Dear Mr. Strang L. Bod, WE'RE PLEASED TO INFORM YOU<br>
THAT YOUR FREE SAMPLE SHIPMENT OF TOTAL LOAD<br>
TOTAL BODY ENERGY ENHANCING POWDER HAS ARRIVED <br>
FOUND ITS WAY TO OUT LOCAL DISTIRBUTOR  - BUBS C.<br>
STAND. And may be picked up at your convenience. Thanks<br>
again for your interest in TOTAL LOAD, TOTAL LOAD TOTAL<br>
Etc., Inc.
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad ignores the extraneous word "arrived" on the third line, as well as the misspelled word "distirbutor"; He says "etc." twice and adds "whatever" at the end of the email, but makes no further comments}''

==Strong Bad's Room==

===7 Track Player===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, the short lived 7 Track. Your lack of a play button was your undoing.

===Drawing Table===
:'''At the start of the game'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You know what I need to add some much-needed ''hooah!'' to my day? A little thing I like to call Teen Girl Squad!
::''{[[Homestar Ruiner Teen Girl Squad|Teen Girl Squad]] mini-game starts.}
::''{After the mini-game is finished}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, I can never get enough of that Sassy, Injury-Prone Teen Girl Squad! The only thing that could possibly make their adventures even more unfortunate would be if I used those Really Cool Teen Girl Ideas I jotted down last night after a fried chicken pizza bender—
::''{looks around the table}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, what happened to all my Really Cool Teen Girl Squad Ideas?

:'''When Homestar is blocking the table'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, Teen Girl Squad... which one of you wants to get trampled by stampeding Venus fly traps today?
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Get away! I'm pouring my crushed soul and grody guts into an epic 23-part comic 23-part comic zine graphic novel about a really cool guy who wins the Race to the End of the Race!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Can I see?
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' NO! NOT UNTIL I'M DONE!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' When will that be?
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Not until I've emptied out the contents of my tortured brains.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' So, what, five seconds ago?
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Done with your "fictional" story about a cool guy who wins the Race to the End of the Race yet?
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' NO!

:'''While Homestar is still in the house, but not standing at the table, or during the party'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I probably should get back to kicking Homestar out of the house, but I just can't resist that perky Teen Girl Squad!
::''{[[Homestar Ruiner Teen Girl Squad|Teen Girl Squad]] mini-game starts.}''

===Fun Machine===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Nothing like a little snake fisticuffs to clear the mind... ''{picks up controller}'' Ok, show me that logo! ''{singing}'' ''Do do dooo doo... DIII!'' Awesome, Snake Boxer 5! So much better than the unfortunate Snake Boxer 4: Lady Snake Parade.
:''{after the mini-game}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That was awesome! The only thing that could make Snake Boxer 5 even cooler is using that secret code to unlock the game's controversial ''hidden mode.'' It's a good thing I wrote down the code in the manual right— over— ''{looks around}'' Hey! who took my Snake Boxer 5 manual?
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Must. Punch. Snakes.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa! This game is already, like, 50 times cooler than Snake Boxer 2: The Biting of Boxer Joe!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Snake Boxer 5 really put the series back on track. Especially after Snake Boxer 3: Solving Problems through Diplomacy.

====Snake Boxer 5 Gameplay====
:'''Normal gameplay'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Eat my red blocky pom-poms!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Your Cobra Style is no match for the Way of the Drunken Five-Pixel Power Punch!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Here we go...
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Where's that hot girl that tells me what round it is? Oh, yeah. I see her. I think she's that box.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Come on! That's not fair!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Total knockoutitiude!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Take that!
:{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' No way!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oooh! Right in the face!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' This game sucks!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I did not just get beat by a stupid snake... unless it was on of those two-headed freak show snakes. Then it's an honor.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Ka-pow!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Body Punch!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Taste my glove, snakey!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Everybody knows the game cheats.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh man....
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You're going down, snakes!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' No one boxes snakes better than me!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Upper blow!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, I'm pretty much the coolest.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, that was hard!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Quit biting me, snake!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' This screen isn't big enough for the two of us.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Ring the bell! Ring the Bell!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What? I did not just get snake boxed!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What? Oh, that so cheated!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ...And Strong Bad steps into the ring! ''{makes crowd noises}''
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' And the snake goes down!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Stupid Snake!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I've been bited!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, my hand slipped off the controller!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You only got me cause my eyebrows were blocking my view!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' DING DING!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Snakes, gert ready for the pummeling!

:'''While using the secret code'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' That is some sweet low-res fire breath!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Catch fire, snake! ''{makes fwoosh noise}''
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' BURNINATE!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, snake fire! Awesome!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I am the boxy serpent of doom!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Float like a green snake, sting like a light green snake!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Your Marquee de Queensbury rules are no match for my Kill You Dead with Venom rules!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' The black border's great, because it lets you imagine a crowd cheering you on!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, if I had fangs like that, I'd finally get rid of my staple remover.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Taste my pixelated venom!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, I must be some kind of King Cobra, or Czar Cobra...or Genghis Cobra!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Stop trying to get to First Base with me!

=== Homestar → Teen Girl Squad ===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Put your hands up, and back away from the Teen Girl Squad, Homestar. We don't want this situation to escalate.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Not yet, Strong Bad. I've got to finish my 23-Volume Epic Graphic Novel Zine about a Really Cool Guy who wins the ''{fanfare}'' Race to the End of the Race, and slays a dragon, and starts dating a supermodel and makes his old boring girlfriend jealous, and—
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, yeah, I get it. How long will it be before I can use my drawing table again?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh it might be a while. I still haven't figured out what to call my Really Cool lead character.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Grr...
:{{short hr}}
:''Second time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Are you done with your moron opus yet?
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I'm almost ready to start... what do you like better, "Goldstar Stunner" or "Dash Bigstar"?
:{{short hr}}
:''Each time thereafter''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Finish your comic already!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I'm trying, but the words keep coming out all misspelled and unintentionally humorous! Oh, if only I knew what it was like to be a winner!

===Homestar's comic===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Wow, Homestar's comic is really something... ''{cut to a view of Homestar's comic, which depicts a story titled "Run For Beans! (and more)"}'' something a blind cat might've thrown up after eating a blind rat.

===Messy Pile===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's possible that my bed's under there, but I'm not touching it to find out.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I sent some Sherpas in there a few weeks ago, but they haven't reported back.

===Metal Detector===

:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, the Taranchula Black Metal Detector! I had to sell, like, 500 magazine subscriptions to get this baby. But it was totally worth it to be able to shoot radioactive positrons into the Earth's crust in search of rusty pennies!

=== Trophy → Homestar ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{talking to camera}'' Hmm, this will require some stra''ter''gery...  ''{talking to Homestar}'' Hey, look at that, thing... over there.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' A thing? Where?! ''{looks around, Strong Bad hits him over the head with the trophy, he collapses}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, dumpwad, wake up!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{gets up}'' Who? What? Why? Oh, crap! I just had a wonderful dream where I won the Race to the End of the Race! ''{fanfare}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' But Homestar, it wasn't a dream, see? ''{gestures to trophy, now sitting on the table}'' You really did win the Race to the End of the Whatchamacallit!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I did? But how?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' How should I know? Maybe you were... sleep-running or something.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yesss... that makes perfect sense. Well, looks like my 23-part graphic novel can wait for another day. ''{leaves, with trophy}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Finally, I was thinking I'd never get to maim another badly drawn teen girl ever again!

===Videlectrix Poster===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's my Videlectrix Poster that I got for sending in ten bucks to become a member of the Videlectrix Good Graphicketeers!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' "Videlectrix — We Use Computers... to Make Video Games!" I don't know why no one else has thought of that...

=== When entering the room ===
:'''Only if Homestar is present'''
::''{music}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What? How? Huh? You were just—
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{sighs} (if in kitchen)'' Siiiiigh...

== Strong Sad's Room ==
=== Strong Sad's Door ===

:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey Strong Sad! You in there?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Yes!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' C'mon, lemme in! I just wanna punch you a few hundred times!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Not interested.
:''Second time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' C'mon Strong Sad, I've got your favorite food, some nasty ethnic food!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I don't believe in favoring one food over another.
:''Each time thereafter''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad Raymond Jenkins, you open this door right now or I'll— I'll— I'll—
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You'll what?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, we'll just wait until your father gets home and see what he says!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You're not even my real mom!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Fine. I didn't want to go in your purple room of doom and gloom anyway!

====Candy → Strong Sad's Door====

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad, if you open the door I'll give you a box of ChocoOpps.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You know I can't have peanuts!

==Game Epilogue==
::''{Cut to Strong Bad sitting at the Lappy, typing}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' So there you have it Monsieur Manure: the video game adaptation of how I finally beat the snot out of Homestar, in the most direct and least convoluted way. Man I'm awesome. Eat snail, Strong Bad.
::''{camera pulls back, Strong Bad turns around and stands up on Stooly}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{half singing}'' So you see people, that's why you can't, no you can't, uhn, handle my style, because it's hot, ''{jumps off Stooly, and lands on the washer (in the basement), hops down and walks to the couch}'' ''{very quickly}'' so please allow 10 to 15 minutes for it to properly cool before you try to handle my styyyyle! ''{lies down and closes his eyes, camera pans up and left, cutting through the wall and to the lappy. Ominous music is heard. The Municipality logo is seen on the Lappy's screen. Slow zoom in and fade}'' ''{Credit roll b/w dimmed out scene of Strong Bad sleeping on the couch}'' ''{Following credits, a preview for [[Strong_Badia the Free#Preview Transcript|Strong Badia the Free]] is seen before returning to the game menu}''
{{SBCG4AP}}

[[Category:Video Game Responses]]

Baddest of the Bands Responses (House of Strong)

AWM2004 — Sat, 01 Oct 2022 15:59:07 GMT

AWM2004: /* When deleting emails */

[[Image:SB House.png|thumb|No pasta salad to be found.]]
[[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]] has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from [[House of the Brothers Strong|House of Strong]] in [[Baddest of the Bands]].

{{SBCG4AP Responses notation legend}}

==Game Introduction==
:''{Strong Bad enters the room from the direction of the basement sits at the Fun Machine}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, Senor Fun Machine, let's see what you've got for me today...
:''{Scene changes to the menu screen for [[Limozeen's Hot Babelien Odyssey]].}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hot dang, it's Limozeen's Hot Babelien Odyssey, loosely based on the life and times of the coolest rock band in the world, Limozeen! Okay, hot babeliens, get ready to be rescued and romanced by my rock 'n' roll ruleage! Rrr.
:''{The game starts automatically.}''
:'''GAME LARRY:''' ''{Distorted monotone}'' Rock and roll, baby!
:''{The player can now play the game, but after a short while, the game picture starts to distort, the colors fluctuate, until it eventually dissolves into a mess of symbols.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, what was that? No... Please... No no no!
:''{The game freezes completely, and a wisp of smoke comes out of the Fun Machine.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' NOOOO!!! C'mon, man, don't do this to me!
:''{A flock of bats flies into the room and start flying around Strong Bad's head. Strong Bad stands up and tries to bat them away.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Bleargh! Go on! Git! Scram!
:''{The bats fly away. Strong Bad turns back to the Fun Machine}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Aww, crapcakes. Not again! I just sprayed three cans of 4W DD in the cartridge slot this morning. Looks like I'll have to take it to the only fully-licensed Videlextrician in town... ''{sighs}'' Bubs. Don't worry, my poor broken Fun Machine, Bubs'll fix you up, better than new.
:''{Strong Bad drops the controller and picks up the Fun Machine.}''

==Basement==

===Couch===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I haven't checked the couch for change, chips, or charred remains recently. ''{Checks the couch, finds pants}'' What's this? Nothin' says "I have no business wearing these" like leopard print pants! I may have to oil myself up just to fit in them at the photo booth!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Checks the couch}'' What's this? Nothin'.

===Television===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Cool, a marathon of those depressing rockumentaries! Uh-oh, they did the inverted negative photo thing... somebody's goin' to rehab...
:{{short hr}}
:''Second time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, this rockumentary's about that band, "Bigg Nife". No way! The lead singer's name isn't really "Rip Nife"? I feel so used!
:{{short hr}}
:''Each time thereafter''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Do we really need a rockumentary about the guys who wrote "Left-Shift-Alt-Delete"?

===Trogdor Game===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Once those replacement parts clear customs, I'll be back to burninating peasants in the comfort of my basement, the way the good Lord Trogdor intended!

==Bathroom==

===LARP Sword===
:'''When Strong Sad is present'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, how'd you get your fake, dress-up sword out of Pompomerania, er, Club Technochocolate?
::'''STRONG SAD:''' That, my friend, is a tale fraught with intrigue, drama and mild adventure! It all started when—
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{interrupting}'' Yeah, yeah, stop talking. Can I borrow it?
::'''STRONG SAD:''' No.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' C'mon, let me borrow your wussy role-playing sword.
::'''STRONG SAD:''' Not for all the gold in Peasantry!

:'''When Strong Sad is absent'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Takes the sword}'' I'm not sure which is duller, my brother or this padded safety sword. Let's call it a tie.

===Mirror===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Why hello, gor-gee-ous!

===Shower===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Welcome to Mildew City. Please fasten your gag reflex.

===Sink===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad keeps the sink clean enough to eat out of... which I often make him do.

===Toilet===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's a miracle the toilet is still functioning after the workout the King of Town gave it last month!

====Bleach → Shower, Sink or Toilet====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm not cleaning the bathroom, man; that's Strong Sad's job! Besides, I think this stuff is laundry bleach.
:''{If subtitles are on, they instead read "The last time I mixed laundry bleach with the exotic chemicals Strong Sad uses to clean the bathroom, I accidentally created ketchup gas... which a lot like mustard gas only slower... and with tomatoes."}''

==Computer Room==
=== Light Switch ===
:''{Strong Bad turns the switch off, waits, then turns it back on again.}''
:''{The first time this is done, Strong Bad finds a page of his Limozeen game manual.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, it's the cover of my Limozeen game manual, in all its hastily licensed glory!

=== Rave Switch ===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{In rap rhythm}'' And now it's time for a breakdown... ''{Plays a [[techno]] rave}'' Ahh, that's the stuff.
:{{short hr}}
:''Third time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Plays a techno rave}'' Whoa, those spinny dots are making me see things.
:{{short hr}}
:''All other times''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Plays a techno rave}''

=== Calendar ===
:'''Start of game'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Looks like today's the day I take my Fun Machine to Bubs for emergency repairs.

:'''After the Fun Machine is given to Bubs'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I guess today's the day I organize a Battle of the Bands to raise money to fix my Fun Machine.

:'''During the Battle of the Bands'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Today's the day I win the Battle Royale of the Bands so that I'll FINALLY have enough money to fix my broken Fun Machine!

:'''During Extended Play'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, now that I've gotten my broken Fun Machine repaired, maybe today's the day I get to work on Dangeresque 3. Hmmm.

===Floppy Disks===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's where I keep all my defunct computer games. Most of them won't even run on the Lappy anymore without, like, turning off all the RAM and hitting it with a brick.

=== Plug ===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I think the Lappy's had enough juice for now... ''{Goes to unplug the Lappy and gets shocked}'' Yaaah! ''{Shaky voice}'' I guess not.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Goes to unplug the Lappy and gets shocked}'' Yaaah! Invigorating.

=== Sign ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' In the time it would take me to read that sign, I could not loaf at least twice!

=== Stooly ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sometimes I think the stool moves an inch or two to the left behind my back, just to mess with my head.

=== Lighter ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Picks up lighter}'' I must have left my lighter here during last night's candlelight ''{smooth voice}'' "SBEmails After Dark" session.

==Kitchen==
===Fridge===
:''{Strong Bad opens/closes fridge door}''

===Aerosol Cheese===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sweet! A can of jalapeno-flavored aerosol cheese! Easily one of my top five foamy orange food products ever! ''{Takes the can}''

===Microwave===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Touches the microwave and gets shocked}'' Yaaah! Geez, think someone balled up a bunch of forks and stuck them in there... yesterday.

===Cereal===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That box of Cheat Commandos-O's is getting a little funky, but I refuse to throw out breakfast cereals until I solve the mazes on the back.

===Dead Plant===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' We're keeping the rotting corpse of Charlemagne around in the hopes that he'll one day rise from the grave.

==Laundry Room==

===Box===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Looks under box}'' A "sloshy" T-shirt? Those glasses-wearing short hair-havers? I guess I'll put it in my pan-dimensional photo booth...
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Nope.

===Dryer===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Last month, Strong Sad sat me down and explained the ins and outs of the "washing machine" to me. The dry-er, however, remains as enigmatic as ever.

====Bleach → Dryer====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The last time I put bleach in the dryer, all of Strong Sad's underwears disintegrated... which sounds really cool, until you contemplate the horror of... freewheelin' Strong Sad!

====Bats → Dryer====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Bats in the dryer? That'd be cruel, inhumane, and not NEARLY as funny as putting them in the washer!

===Pennants===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The great thing about these schools is they hand out a free diploma for every three pennants you buy!

===Washer===
:'''If the bats are not inside'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Kicks washer, which runs. When done, the lid pops open and Strong Bad looks inside}'' Water— successfully wasted.

:'''If the bats but not the bleach is inside'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Runs the washer, then gets the bats out}'' Hmm. Clean bats. Guess I should have expected that.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Runs the washer, then gets the bats out}'' I don't think repeated washings are going to get these guys any cleaner.

:'''If both the bats and the bleach are inside'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Runs the washer, then gets the bats out}'' All right! These bats have been bleached whiter than the King of Town's Richard Pryor impression!

====Bleach → Washer====
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This oughta get the tough stains out of, well, anything.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'd better save some of this bleach for later. It might come in handy.

====Bat Hutch → Washer====
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Sings}'' Washing up Strong Sad's bats... maybe someday, I should wash my pants.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, I hope I know what I'm doin', 'cause these bats are starting to look a little... soggy.

==Living Room==
===Box of Records===
:'''Only appears during the Battle of the Bands'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, It's a box of Strong Sad's old records. I better borrow them for safe-keeping; they could get scratched sitting there in that box. ''{Takes the box}''

===Luxa Lounger===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, something's wedged in the Luxa Lounger... ''{reclines chair, finds shot glass}'' Whoa! Oh man. It's a Limozeen shot glass featuring High-Kicking Larry Palaroncini!
:{{short hr}}
:''{Strong Bad reclines/unreclines chair}''

===Window===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Shouts out the window}'' Good afternoon green bushes, how ya feelin!?

==Outside==
===Mailbox===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Nothin' new here.

====Photo → Mailbox====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Okay, let's do this thing. ''{Gets out the photo and writes on the back}'' Win a day with Limozeen constest... Staten Island... 10301. Limozeen album immortality, here I come! ''{Strong Bad puts the photo into the mailbox and closes it. Screen wipes to black, and back to Strong Bad opening the mailbox again, pulling out a letter. He reads}'' Dear Mr. Bad, are you ready to rock harder than anyone in your pimply male teenage peer group has ever rocked? Because your bodacious album cover is the ''{increases his excitement tone of voice here}'' winner of the Rip-Roarin' Rock-dezvous with Limozeen contest! Just let us know when and where and we'll be there, ready to sock your rocks off! Keep on 'zeening, Limozeen. ''{Puts the letter away}'' All right!
:'''If Strong Sad already has the security jacket, continue below'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I wonder if Bubs'll let me start looking for bands now...

===Box===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Looks under the box}'' Box peering guy, hey! ''{Finds a shot glass}'' Whoa, it's a shot glass with generically tall Limozeen bass player Perry Palaroncini!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Nope.

==Strong Bad Emails==
===When sitting down===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' In a world of stupid emails... one man stands ready with his delete key...
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' When I say "e" you say "mail"! "E"! "Mail"! "E"! "Mail!"
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Email. Ch-ch-choo-wih-choo-wih email.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Starting soft, getting louder}'' Emails, emails, emails, EMAILS!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' 3... 2... 1... ignition. Gentlemen, we have emails.

===When deleting emails===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Dee! Lee! Ted!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' El Deleto Grande!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Survey says: Deleted!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the DELETED!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-leted!

:''{After each of these, the deleted sound plays, showing a red DELETED! screen which has the Female Lappy with fangs.}''

===When undeleting emails===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Undeleted!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted no more!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Singing}'' Undeleted and it feels so good!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This email is undeleted for good behavior.

:''{After each of these, the deleted sound plays backwards, showing a cyan UNDELETED! screen.}''

===Email 1: Band Names===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Band Names</div>
Yo, S to the B,<br/>
I'm trying to come up with a good name for my band, but it<br>
seems like all the good ones are taken. Any ideas?<br>
<br>
No-Name Brand Band
</blockquote>
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's true, Brandy, all the good ones ARE taken. ''{clears screen}'' That's why you need to start thinking of futuristic band names like "My Personal Jetpack" or "The Robot Rebellion." ''{Stops typing}'' Ooh, ooh! ''{Starts typing}'' Or "Really, Really, REALLY, Tiny Cell Phone." That should be enough to get you started, but I'm gonna need my royalties in 2086 dollars, or Globnars, as they will then be called. ''{Line break}'' Thanks. SB.

===Email 2: Rock Eras===
:'''Appears when visiting Marzipan's house for the first time'''

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Rock Eras</div>
Dear Strong Bad,<br/>
In your opinion, what era of rock rocked the hardest?<br>
<br>
Looking for validation<br>
<br>
Mark Darin
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad sings the word "Darin" in a high-pitched voice.}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sorry Mark. I don't validate. Maybe check with Bubs. But I can tell you exactly when rock rocked the hardest. When you're 18 to 24 years old. ''{clears screen}'' But if you're over 24 man, sucks to be you. Cause music rocks less and less with each passing year, until the next thing you know, you're listening to the oldies station and playing air guitar at a stop light next to a car full of teenagers that spit and laugh at you. Stupid kids. They call that noise music! ''{Line break}'' Curmudgeoninglyly, Strongbad.

===Email 3: Creeped Out===
:'''Appears when visiting The Club for the first time'''

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Creeped Out</div>
Dear Strong,<br/>
<span style="visibility:hidden">_</span>You've gotta help me! One of my coworkers won't<br>
stop staring at me!<br>
<br>
Creeped out of my mind,<br>
P. Louise
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad pronounces coworkers as "cow-workers" and the name as "Plou-ise".}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah. How are you Cow Workers supposed to get them do-ggies rollin' if somebody's staring at you? ''{Clears screen}'' When people stare at me, I just divert their attention to something I want them to do, say, or buy for me. Or in your case, cows you'd like punched, barns you'd like raised, or trails you would like to see happy. ''{Line break}'' Yippie kiyiyay, Strongbad.

===Email 4: Bad Rock?===
:'''Appears the first time Strong Bad goes upstairs in the House of Strong in Extended Play'''

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Bad Rock?</div>
Dear Mr. B,<br/>
What's the worst thing you can do in a rock 'n' roll song?<br>
<br>
Sincerely,<br>
Mike S.
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad pronounces "worst" as "woist", and the name as "Mikes".}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, assorted Mikes. You've already committed the worst offence just in your email. ''{Clears screen}'' You referred to "Rock 'n' Roll." You sound like a dad, man! ''{Strong Bad pauses for the comma, but does not type it}'' Oh how-de-hey boys, did you attend a Rock and Roll concerto last night featuring the latest in Rock and Roll bands? What's next? You gonna ask me what video game tapes I have for my new Intenduh system? ''{Line break}'' You're real hip dude, Mike. Nice work.

==Strong Bad's Room==

===Videlectrix Poster===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Over the years I've collected every title featured on this poster... but for some reason I can only ever find about one a month.

===Dangeresque 3 Poster===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's a teaser poster for the oft-delayed cinema classic-to-be, Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' People keep bugging me about Dangeresque 3. Someday I really should get around to writing a script for it... or coming up with a budget... basically anything past the "make poster" phase of development.

===Drawing Table===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Time for a little bit of randomly violent Teen Girl Squad fun! ''{Looks at the table}'' What the crap? Where'd all my notebook paper go? How can I draw any new episodes without any loose-leaf?
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I won't be able to write any new adventures of the loveable Teen Girl Squad until I get some more paper!

====Limozeen Coloring Book → Drawing Table====
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa! Forget stupid note cards hidden under boxes, I just got the bestest Teen Girl Squad idea ever! ''{The player is now shown [[Teen Girl Squad meets Limozeen]]}'' Whoa, that turned out awesome! I should start Teen Girl Squadding our entire set of encyclopedias next!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I think the Teen Girl Squad's been put through the rusty metal wringer enough for one day.

====Entry Forms, Glossy or Photo → Drawing Table====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's a really good idea! But it's wrong.

===Metal Detector===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right: the Taranchula Black Metal Detector, now with built-in shovel attachment! ''{Takes the metal detector and shovel}''

===Fun Machine===
:'''In extended play'''

:'''When sitting down'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, Fun Machine. Give me some of that sweet, long-delayed video game funk! Or metal, as the case may be.

:'''On the title screen'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Babeliens, your savior awaits!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, the things I put up with for a few minutes of entertainment.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Didja miss me?

:'''Level start'''
::'''GAME LARRY:''' ''{Distorted monotone}'' Rock and roll, baby!

:'''During gameplay'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' The power of rock compels you!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Those Flying Vees are everywhere, man!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Eat hot metal death, Nebulon!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Keep your slimy alien paws off my babelien groupie!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, I think that one winked at me!

:'''Level complete'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Bad is the master of babelien rescuery!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Step onto the bus, ladies!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' In space, no one can hear you squeeeal!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Ask not what Limozeen can do for hot babelien groupies!

:'''Losing a life'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oops.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Craaap.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, man.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Arrr!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Nooo!

:'''Game over'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You know, this game's actually pretty hard.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Sobbing voice}'' If only... I could have... saved a few more... hot babelien groupies!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Noooo! Rats!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You've won this battle, groupie-hoarding alien scum, but the war will be Limozeen's!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, THAT was embarrassing.

===Seven-track===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I used to hide Strong Sad's retainer in the seven-track all the time, so it still felt like part of the team.

===Strong Bad's TV===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The TV seems so lonely without the Fun Machine.

:'''In extended play, it performs the same function as clicking on the Fun Machine'''

===Messy Pile===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' C'mon pile, I know you got some change in there! I'll even take Canadian coins at this point. ''{Looks in the pile}'' Aww, man, not even a single Loonie.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm not sticking my gloves in there for at least another month. Probably two.

==Strong Sad's Room==

===Strong Sad===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey there, Sister Christian.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Remarkably, I don't have time for you today, Strong Bad.

====Strong Sad → Strong Sad ====
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm sure I will instantly regret asking you this, but whatcha doin'?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I've finally decided to pursue my dream of becoming a snooty rock 'n' roll journalist.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' A rock... and... roll... journal... ''{laughs}''
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You won't be bwa-ha-haing after I've sold my poignant coming-of-age tale of my snooty exploits to a snooty independent movie studio!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You're right, I, I shouldn't... ''{laughs}''
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{Sighs}''
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I forget. What are you doing again?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I'm preparing to set sail on my dream of becoming a snooty rock 'n' roll—
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Laughs}''
:'''STRONG SAD:''' —journalist.

====Strong Sad → Fun Machine ====
:'''Only available before the Fun Machine is given to Bubs'''
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I don't know how to tell you this, but someone broke the Fun Machine.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Someone?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, I think it was Someone Jackson, or maybe Someone Jackson Jr. Can you fix it?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' No, but Bubs has a black belt in fixing outdated electronics.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' But Bubs'll probably make me pay for it... with money!
:'''BUBS:''' ''{Appears in the doorway}'' I also accept first-born children!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Are you sure you can't fix the Fun Machine?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' All signs point to "Leave me alone and go to Bubs!"

====Strong Sad → Bat====
'''If discussed before looking at the Bat Hutch'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You don't know anything about a bat infestation do ya, Count Suckula?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Ah, I see you've met the Von Blaubloods.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The Von Wha?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' The Von Blaubloods... a rich lineage of fruit bats I'm raising in my bat hutch.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I don't care how cool their last name is. Tell 'em to stay out of my room!
'''If discussed at any other time'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Aren't bat hutches supposed to be out-of-doors? Or in of Marzipan's bed?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Normally, but the Von Blaubloods love the delicate mixture of dank and damp here in my room.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Normally I think bats are pretty cool, especially when someone's biting the heads off them at the climax of an awesome concert, but ''{shouts}'' NOT WHEN THEY'RE IN MY FREAKING HOUSE! OUT! OUT! OUT!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' No, no, no.

====Strong Sad → Battle of the Bands Stage====
:'''Only available after the Fun Machine is given to Bubs'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, I got a story for you, Mister Snooty Rock Journalist: "Prepare ye all butts for maximum kickage, as Strong Bad organizes a legendary Battle Royale of the Bands!!"
:'''STRONG SAD:''' No, you're not.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No, really. It'll have security and celebrity judges and everything!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' And ponies?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, and ponies! Whu-hey!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{Chortles}''

====Strong Sad → Security Jacket====
:'''Only available after the Fun Machine is given to Bubs'''
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{In his hyping-it-up voice}'' Check out this article of clothing.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' What is it?
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' So, about that jacket I showed you.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Yes?

====Strong Sad → Security Jacket → Angel====
:''First time only, and only if the Angel option is selected first''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's a security jacket. Y'know, the kind worn by security guards at concerts.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Okay, I can't stand those guys. They're always laughing at my press pass.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's not really a tour jacket. It's just a run-of-the-mill security jacket.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I don't believe you.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I think you're just trying to cover up for liking a band no one's ever heard of.

====Strong Sad → Security Jacket → Devil====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{If the Angel option was chosen first, add:'' It's not really a security jacket.''}'' It's a tour jacket for this hot new indie rock band called Security!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' "Security"? I've heard people talking about them. A lot of people.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' See? They're hot!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' But talk is cheap. Real indie bands have street teams that use guerilla marketing tactics to get their name and logo up all over the place.

====Strong Sad → Cancel====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, the bile in my throat tells me it's time to stop talking to you. I've got a Fun Machine to get repaired.

===Strong Sad's Bed===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Just as I thought... crinkly! Strong Sad still has one of those plastic wet-the-bed liners under his sheets.

===Bat Hutch===
:'''When Strong Sad is present'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hollerin' Jimmy's Bat Hutch Kit? Since when do you keep bats in your room?
::'''STRONG SAD:''' Not just any bats. The Von Blaubloods are an extended family of majestic fruit bats. They inspire me.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' To what, get rabies?
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Can I borrow your bat hutch? I, uh, wanna do that thing with the tin foil that screws up their sonar.
::'''STRONG SAD:''' You leave the Von Blaubloods alone!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Okay, okay, geez. Don't foam at the mouth.

:'''When Strong Sad is absent'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Sings while taking the bat hutch}'' Puttin' bat hutches in my pants... hope I don't get bit.

===Bookcase===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad ordered this bookshelf from one of them designy, foreign, put-it-together-yourself catalogs. This little guy is called "Flurgendroon."

===Camera===
:'''When Strong Sad is present'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What's that?
::'''STRONG SAD:''' That's my Totalmatic SuddenShot Camera. It's so obsolete that it actually uses a mysterious substance known as "film" to make pictures.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, exotic. Can I borrow it?
::'''STRONG SAD:''' No way, Strong Bad.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG SAD:''' Stop grabbing at my stuff!

:'''When Strong Sad is absent'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Takes the camera}'' With the Totalmatic SuddenShot at my side, I'll totally be able to shoot all sorts of automatic pictures... suddenly!

===West Is Lip Poster===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Stupid British dudes that I thought were ugly British chicks...

==Strong Mad's Room==

===Strong Mad===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, little man.
:'''STRONG MAD:''' WHERE'S MY PICK?

====Strong Mad → Strong Mad ====
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What's new in your monosyllabic world?
:'''STRONG MAD:''' COOL TAPES!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, band practice, huh? Have you kicked Marzipan out yet?
:'''STRONG MAD:''' SHE BRINGS SNACKS!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Fair enough.
:''{Marzipan's house appears on the map after the conversation is finished}''
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I forget, who else is in Marzipan's band?
:'''STRONG MAD:''' THE CHEAT ON SKINS!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, why does Marzipan get to hog all my bros? Why can't she start one of those lame-o core bands with Strong Sad instead?

====Strong Mad → Fun Machine ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Now don't freak out, big fella, but I've got some bad news about the Fun Machine...
:'''STRONG MAD:''' FUN MACHINE OKAY?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Not exactly... see, there's been an accident, and—
:'''STRONG MAD:''' MAKE BETTER! MUST PLAY LADY SNAKE PARADE!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Okay, okay! I'll make the Fun Machine better! Man...
:'''STRONG MAD:''' LADY SNAKE PARADE...
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Just to be sure, what would you do if the Fun Machine were broken?
:'''STRONG MAD:''' SMASH STUFF! BREAK STUFF!!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's what I thought.

====Strong Mad → Bat====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Did you know that Strong Sad is raising bats with a cool last name in his room?
:'''STRONG MAD:''' SAVE THE BATS! LA-LA-LA!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Aww, you like 'em too?

====Strong Mad → Cancel====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, this has been fascinating and articulate, but I've got a Fun Machine to repair. See you later, S-Mad.

===Dresser===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This is where my brother keeps all his extra singlets, gym socks, and athletical supporting devices.

===Old Record===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Strong Bad takes the record, and it gets displayed to the player}'' Whoa! There's something I haven't seen in like, forever! Strong Sad cried for days when I defaced this record into the most awesome album cover idea ever. I bet you could sell like a kajillion records if you put together an album cover like this.

===Bass Guitar===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Mad plays a heavy bass— literally. The strings are actually those cables they use to hold up bridges.

===Dumbell===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This is Belinda, Strong Mad's favorite dumbell. She's a bit on the heavy side, but she has a great personality.

===Right Closet Door===
:'''JIBBLIES PAINTING:''' ''{Dramatic shot}'' Come on in here!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' A-jibblie-jibblie-jibblie-jibblie-jibblie-jibblie ''{Strong Bad jumps all over the place, and eventually closes the closet door.}'' ''Man'', that painting is creepy.

===Left Closet Door===
:''{Strong Bad opens/closes the door}''

====Left Closet Door → Stuffed Animal====
:'''When Strong Mad is present'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' It's Strong Mad's stuffed dinosaur, Poodonkis. ''{Turns to Strong Mad}'' Hey mus-cles, mind if I borrow this?
::'''STRONG MAD:''' POO-DONK-IS!!!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Guess so.

:'''When Strong Mad is absent'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, the mighty Poodonkis. His natural camouflage made him virtually invisible to predators in his native environment... which was, apparently, a clown's house. ''{Takes Poodonkis}''

==Game Epilogue==
:'''ON-SCREEN TEXT:''' EXTENDED PLAY UNLOCKED
:''{Strong Bad walks from the front door to the TV, carrying the Fun Machine. The only visible sign of repair is a pair of crossed band-aids stuck to the top surface.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, between the recording session, the world tour, the fall from glory, the reunion tour, the series of painful rabies shots, I almost forgot to pick up my Fun Machine from Bubs! ''{Puts the Fun Machine down in front of the TV, and pulls out the Limozeen game cartridge.}'' Let the Hot Babelien Oddysey finally commence! ''{Jams the cartridge into the Fun Machine, and sits down to play. Almost immediately, the Fun Machine starts smoking again.}'' What the crippity-crap!? BUUUUBS!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{Appears in the doorway}'' Could you keep it down? I'm working on the screenplay adaptation of my prize-winning articles that I never wrote!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Bubs totally ripped me off, man! Like, more than usual! The Fun Machine is just as broke as ever!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{Inspects the Fun Machine}'' Hmmm... aha! ''{Pulls out the game cartridge}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' It's not broken, there's just a crusty wad of jalapeno cheese spray stuck in the cartridge, see?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Taking the cheese}'' So THAT'S where you ran off to!
:''{Strong Sad replaces the cartridge as Strong Bad sits down and tosses the piece of cheese into his mouth.}''
:'''STRONG BAD, STRONG SAD, AND GAME LARRY:''' ''{Simultaneously}'' Rock and roll, baby!
:''{Strong Bad plays the game as the credits roll. Snippets of songs featured in the game play over the credits.}''
::'''SINGER:''' Boys, boys, boys! Toys, toys, toys! Boys, boys, boys! Toys, toys, toys!
::''{Music fades to the Cool Tapes' ''Doin' the Wigglie''}''
::'''MARZIPAN:''' We're Cool Tapes and we're all jiggly.
::'''MARSHIE:''' Ooooo!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Stuck in here with Marshie and we're doin' the Wigglie.
::'''MARSHIE:''' Doin' the Wigglie! Wiggle, waggle, wiggle...
::''{Music fades to ''Hugo Left Me''}''
::'''SINGER:''' Hugo left, Hugo left, oh, Hugo left me misera-bleh
::''{Music fades to ''Three O'Clock Twist''}''
::'''SINGER:''' One more time, in case ya missed, it's the three o'clock twist!
::''{Music fades to ''Slide to the Right''}''
::'''SINGER:''' You gotta slide to the right, y'all bridesmaids!
::'''BACKING VOCALS:''' Slide to the right!
::''{Music fades to ''Left-Shift-Alt-Delete''}''
::'''SINGER:''' Left-shift, left-shift, left-shift-alt-delete
::''{Music fades to the Two-O-Duo's ''Stealin' Stuff from My Own Store''}''
::'''COACH Z:''' ...and so I throw a fruit punch all the time!
::'''BUBS:''' I may be soft 'round the middle but I'm still hardcore!
::'''COACH Z:''' He's stealin' stuff from his own dang store!
::'''BUBS:''' ''{Simultaneously}'' I'm stealin' stuff from my own dang store!
::''{Music fades to a heavy metal guitar finish.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa! I almost got nailed by a surface-to-air Flying Vee! ''{Puts down the controller and stands up}''
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Sounds pretty dangerous.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No, sounds...
:''{Zoom in on the Dangeresque 3 poster as Strong Bad sings the Dangeresque theme song. Fade to black. The [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective#Preview Transcript|Dangeresque 3 preview]] then plays.}''

{{SBCG4AP}}
[[Category:Video Game Responses]]

User:AWM2004

AWM2004 — Fri, 30 Sep 2022 09:11:03 GMT

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