Homestar Runner Wiki - User contributions [en]

concert

Free Bagels — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 11:50:40 GMT

Free Bagels: /* Remarks */ Made a link to Decemberween. Yay for links!

{{sbenav|175}}
[[Image:Sbemail175_screenshot.PNG|thumb|"And that one guy even had his back to us all night!"]]

Strong Bad talks about how [[sloshy]] became one of his favorite, and then least favourite band.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{film|Strong Bad}}, {{film|Trogdor}}, [[Larry Palaroncini]], {{film|Strong Sad}}, {{film|Homestar Runner}}, [[Mary Palaroncini]], {{film|The Poopsmith}} (Easter Egg), {{film|Senor Cardgage}} (Easter Egg)

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[Strong Bad's Laundry Room]], [[The Field]], [[Strong Bad's Basement]], [[Bathroom of the Brothers Strong]], Mud Baths, [[The Space Machine]] (Easter Egg)

{{Comp|Lappy 486}}

'''Date:''' August 20, 2007

'''Running Time:''' 4:26

'''Page Title:''' Lappy 486

== Transcript ==
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{to a tune I can't identify, someone help me out here}'' I'm running through a field of emails! Paranoia! Paranoia!

<blockquote class="lappy email"><div>
subject: concert</div>
Hey Strong Bad, 
Have you ever been to a concert? If you have what type 
of concert was it? 
Your Dragon, 
Trogdor *smiley face*
</blockquote>

''{Strong Bad's speech begins to stress as he reads the signature, becoming ovbiously distressed by something.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Wipe that smiley face off your the words 'smiley face.' You do ''not'' impersonate The Burninator, got it?

''{As Strong Bad says that, a Trogdor sprite walks on the Lappy screen and burns the email signature. The Trogdor Arcade Game theme music plays in the background.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Yeah, I go to concerts. Why else would I own a pair of Hollywood Boulevards?

''{Scene cuts to the laundry room, showing a pan-out of Strong Bad wearing a pink leapord-pattern bandanna and unusual shoes than what he normally wears [if someone can ID the shoes, please edit this part of the transcript.]}'''

'''STRONG SAD:''' Oh, hello, plea-ted boots. What are you all gusseyed up for?

'''STRONG BAD:''' Shut up, man! I always dress like this.

''{cuts to close-up of Strong Bad}'''

'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm going to see Limozeen tonight. But I never heard of the opening band, so I'm gonna show up fashionably late. What are you all gusseyed ''down'' for?

'''STRONG SAD:''' I'm going to see a show tonight too. But I've never heard of the headliner, so I'm gonna leave fashionably early.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, those two things don't sound at all related. Bye loser!

''{Both Strong Bad and Strong Sad walk off-screen, cut back to Lappy}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Hey, guess what? They were related. Apparently, Limozeen was trying to expand their audience into people that ''{pauses awkwardly}'' went to college. So, they got this band sloshy to open up for them. But Limozeen ended up cancelling because...

''{a paper labelled 'LIMOZEEN Contract Rider' appears on-screen}''

'''LARRY PALARONCINI:''' ''{drums in background}'' Our audience must be 94% hot young females with bangs higher than or equal to our own. ''{Drums get more intense}'' And also a deviled egg tray! ''{The words "Deviled Egg Tray!" appear hand-written on the contract}''

''{Paper disappears}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' So, Limozeen just hung out in their tour bus and watched ESPN Classic all night, while sloshy played both sets. Needless to say, I was perplexed, and intrigued.
''{Strong Bad types and pronounces "intrigued" as intriguéd}''

''{Cut to The Field, at night. Strong Bad and Strong Sad are walking back home.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' So, help me out here. Were they missing some members? Where was their lead guitarist?

'''STRONG SAD:''' Uh, that was the ''whole band.''

'''STRONG BAD:''' What?! You're not allowed to have a band with only ''three people'' in it! And something epse suspicious. What happened to the bassist's sunglasses? Did the lenses fall out?

'''STRONG SAD:''' No, Strong Bad, those were just ''regular glasses.''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Shock and horror!

''{Cut to The Basement. Strong Bad and Strong Sad are playing what looks like an Atari game}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' But they must be like, a brand new band, right?

'''STRONG SAD:''' No, they've been around for five or six years now...

'''STRONG BAD:''' Then why haven't they grown their hair long yet?

'''STRONG SAD:''' I think those are just their haircuts, Strong Bad.

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''Really?''

''{Cut to the bathroom. Strong Sad is brushing his teeth, while Strong Bad is just standing there talking, holding his toothbrush.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' So somebody must've stolen their costume trailer, huh? Man, that's rough. They couldn't wear any of their spandex, or latex, or... Tex-mex...

'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{takes toothbrush out of mouth to speak}'' They don't wear costumes. They were probably just wearing what they've been wearing all day.

'''STRONG BAD:''' But... The music rocked.

'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{takes toothbrush out of mouth again to speak}'' Yes.

'''STRONG BAD:''' And they weren't wearing costumes.

'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{takes toothbrush out of mouth again to speak, and shakes his head}'' ''No.''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Huh... Interesting.

''{cut to a mud-bath area in the field. Strong Bad and Strong Sad both have towels on their heads and cucumber slices on their eyes. Strong Sad's stomach is sticking out of the top of the mud bath}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' There were no high leg kicks, no choreographed spin moves... And that one guy even had his back to us all night.

''{zoom-in to Strong Bad and Strong Sad}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' It's like they don't even really care about me. Like when they played that song called 'We don't even really care about you'?

''{Cut to The Basement. A sloshy CD in [[SeeDees]] is playing the just-mentioned song. Zoom out to Homestar and Strong Bad playing with Cheat Commandoes toys.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' And ''no'' pyrotechnics?

'''STRONG BAD:''' Nope. They just strung a bunch of Christmas lights over their bass drum.

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{somewhat perturbed}'' And they still rocked?

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, totally! And they can't be bothered to play solos, so they always leave a space to sing your own! Check out these ''mow da mows.''

''{Strong bad imitates an electric guitar solo. Homestar is unsurprizingly, amazed at this feat.}''

'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{walking up}'' Hey, hey! ''slosh-ay!''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''slosh-ay!''

'''HOMESTAR:''' You guys are ''so lame.''

''{Cut back to the Lappy}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' And that's how sloshy became one of my favorite metal bands.

'''STRONG SAD:''' Uh, Strong Bad, I wouldn't exactly call sloshy ''metal.''

'''STRONG BAD:''' What're you talkin' about? Of course they're metal. Look at the facts.

'''STRONG BAD:''' No costume.

''{a costume appears on the screen, which is promptly X-ed out}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Short hair.

''{long yellow hair appears, which promptly morphs into short hair}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ...A logo that's not jaggedy or drippety at all...

''{a 'jaggedy,' non upside-down rendition of the sloshy logo appears, which then turns upside-down and becomes the normal sloshy logo}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' And songs that aren't about girls... Los Angeles... or good... times...

''{a CD appears with a track listing reading '1. Smokin' fine honey-child; 2. Sunset Strip(pers); 3. Party Patrol' appears, and then changes to read '1. ok fine; 2. unripe; 3. art troll'}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{record scratch}'' Hey, wait a minute! You tricked me! Sloshy's not metal!

'''STRONG SAD:''' I didn't ''trick'' you, I was just helping you broaden your horizons...

'''STRONG BAD:''' I'll broaden ''your'' horizons!

''{Strong Bad grabs a sloshy record and slams it over Strong Sad's head, shattering it and leaving a piece embedded in the top of Strong Sad's head}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' And that's how sloshy became one of my least favorite bands.

''{New Paper slides down}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Ugh... That sound... It's got no punch. You just kinda slither out, like a boring lizard's tongue. Let's try this.

''{Strong Bad pulls out a floppy disk and chucks it into the paper. It sticks at the top of the screen.}''

''{New Paper prints some more, now saying 'How ya like me now?' A grinding sound can be heard instead of the normal paper sound, and plastic chunks fall from where the floppy disk is}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' There we go... We're good at least until you've completely shred that disk.

''{New Paper retracts slightly. The grinding sound can be heard, and more plastic chunks fall.}''

== Easter Eggs ==
*At the end, click on the word "favorite" to see a short scene with Senor Cardgage.
:''{Cut to the Field. Senor Cardgage is standing on a lawn mower. A bush is nearby.)''
:'''SENOR CARDGAGE:''' Why, hello, Miss Treta. Check out Senor Cardgage's Intregway.
:''{The Intregway logo appears beside him, then disappears}''
:'''SENOR CARDGAGE:''' Don't tell no mandy, ''{the words "Dump Tell No Mandy!" flash at bottom of screen}'' it's just a land mower turned bankways! If you help me buy it, I'll cut you in!
:''{Strong Bad eagerly runs over.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'll help you buy it! I'll help you buy it!
:''{Senor silently drives the Intregway offscreen.}''
*Click on the word "bands" at the end to see a clip of Limozeen: "but they're in space!".
:''{Mary sits in the Space Machine watching what sounds like basketball on ESPN Classic. Larry stands, watching as well with a displeased look. A whistle blow is heard.}''
:'''MARY:''' Wow! That Danny Ainge complains about every call! ''{begins eating what appears to be a basketball}''
:'''LARRY:''' I'm totally mesmerized by Kevin Mchale's armpit haaair! ''{gestures wildly with his hands}'' Oooeeuuh! ''{punches the air with one hand}''
*Click on the reflection of Strong Bad's diamond at the end to see where the mud baths came from.
:''{Strong Bad and Strong Sad are in their mud baths.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Where did these mud baths come from? These things are awesome!
:''{The Poopsmith rises out of Strong Sad's bath, wearing a snorkel and goggles. Strong Bad and Strong Sad scream.}''

== Fun Facts ==
=== Remarks ===
*Strong Sad claims to have never heard of Limozeen, despite the fact that he watched a cartoon starring them in [[best thing]].
*This is one of the few times Christmas has been directly mentioned in the Homestar Runner universe instead of [[Decemberween]].
*This is a rare occasion of [[Strong Bad and Strong Sad's Relationship#Strong Bad and Strong Sad Getting Along|Strong Bad being nice to Strong Sad]].

=== Real-World References ===
*[[Wikipedia:ESPN Classic|ESPN Classic]] is an [[Wikipedia:ESPN|ESPN]]-run TV network showing reruns of sports events and other sports-related programming.
*[[Wikipedia:Danny Ainge|Danny Ainge]] and [[Wikipedia:Kevin McHale|Kevin McHale]] are two former players of the [[Wikipedia:Boston Celtics|Boston Celtics]].
*"Intregway" is a parody of the [[Wikipedia:Segway PT|Segway PT]], a personal transportation device.
*[[Wikipedia:Jenga|Jenga]] and [[Wikipedia:Pictionary|Pictionary]] are games.

== External Links ==
{{sbemailextlinks|175|12251}}
{{Strong Bad Email}}

vacation

Free Bagels — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 03:01:13 GMT

Free Bagels: /* Transcript */ In the commentary for army, Matt says he makes the geddup noise at this point. So there ya go.

{{sbenav|40}}

[[Image:Greatmound.PNG|thumb|Much bigger than the one in Ohio.]]

Strong Bad takes a vacation and writes postcards from the [[Strong Bad's Vacation Spots|places he visits]].

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]]

'''Computer:''' [[Tandy 400]]

'''Date:''' Sunday, August 11, 2002

'''Running Time:''' 4:17 (all options)

'''Page Title:''' Tandy 400: Still Bloke.

{{dvd|strongbad_email.exe Disc One}}

== Transcript ==

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' Oooh, duh ''doo'' doo doo, my email left me, duh ''doo'' doo... ''{stops singing}''

<blockquote class="tandy email">Dear Strong Bad, 
 
You must be a very busy man. You should think 
about a vacation. 
 
Filled with crap, 
BrothaCheese</blockquote>

''{He shakes his head disappointedly and sighs after reading "filled with crap."}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Oh, vacation, eh? You know, I have been sittin at this computer for a long freakin' time. And Strong Mad says I've been lashing out at The Cheat more often than usual... Yeah, you know what? ''{stops typing, scribbles a note while muttering "a little bit of this... little bit of that..."}'' I'm outta here. ''{pause}'' DORKS! ''{He slaps a [[sticky note]] on the screen with a drawing of an angry face with sharp teeth and the word "DORKS!" on it and walks away imitating [[the geddup noise]]. The screen fades to black, and comes back with a menu of postcards.}''

*'''[[#Postcard_1|Postcard 1]]'''
*'''[[#Postcard_2|Postcard 2]]'''
*'''[[#Postcard_3|Postcard 3]]'''
*'''[[#Postcard_4|Postcard 4]]'''
*'''[[#Postcard_5|Postcard 5]]'''

'''Just pick one.'''

=== Postcard 1 ===

'''The Great Mound (Bigger than that one in Ohio!)'''

'''Date:''' Sunday, August 11, 2002

Hey, you guys! Just dropping you a line here from "The Great Mound." I got two words for ya: false advertising. There's ''nothing'' great about this mound, okay? And another thing: there's nothing but old ladies hanging around this mound! You know, wearing their muumuus and their tutus and all their Dainty McDainty crap... Like...I don't like old ladies. I don't even wanna see 'em. Anyways, the mound was a big disappointment. I'll write from my next destination. Later!

=== Postcard 2 ===

'''Fabulous Downtown Pantsburg'''

'''Date:''' Thursday, August 15, 2002

Hey everybody. Don't be fooled. Downtown Pantsburg isn't anywhere ''near'' as fabulous as it appears in that photograph. I mean, they don't even let you ride that bike! In fact, it was, like, welded to that little house! Anyways, I met some guys here, they were pretty cool, we hung out, y'know, made fun of this one girl...pushed some guy into some mud... We traded addresses and stuff and they say they're gonna come visit, but, you know how that ends up. I'll never see 'em again. Come to think of it, I probably should have taken some of their stuff. Oh well. That old highway's a-callin' my name, so, you'll hear from me soon. Peace!

=== Postcard 3 ===

'''It's that CLOCK (look at it go)'''

'''Date:''' Monday, August 19, 2002

''{singing, with acoustic guitar playing in background}'' It's that clooooock...come on you guuuuuuys...you need to check it on ouuuuuuuut... it's that CLOCK! I can't believe it! ''{stops singing}'' Okay, the best thing about this postcard is if you look at the clock, that's the exact same time that I first laid eyes on the clock! 2:55, man. And like, iddi—oh, wait, it still says... 2:55. Okay, well, the clock is broken, but still! It's about the best thing I've ever seen ''{sings}'' in my whole liiiiiife! ''{stops singing}'' Okay, now I got to bust a wicked solo. ''{starts playing a sparse acoustic guitar solo, ending with very high notes}'' Thank you, good night!

=== Postcard 4 ===

'''Two Cars Tennessee'''

'''Date:''' Thursday, August 22, 2002 (approx.)

'Sup, everybody? Here I am in Two Cars, Tennessee, and you know what? I kinda miss you guys and your emails... I can almost hear one of them now: "Dear [[Stong Bad]], You are crap. Crap is the best. Everybody loves crap. Crap is in the mix. Crap is to the max. How does Homestar pick stuff up if he's not wearing any Marzi-pants? Crapfully crap, Monkey D, Seattle, Washington." Ahh... okay! I got my fix. On to the next town! Oh, and incidentally, I highly recommend Two Cars, Tennessee. It's got a ''real'' happenin' arts and crafts scene.

=== Postcard 5 ===

'''Visit Historic Over There'''

'''Date:''' Monday, August 26, 2002

Hey guys, just a quick one while I'm away. So I visited Historic Over There. Don't be fooled by the old-timey photograph—the place really looks like that. Like, everything is tan and brown. The sky? Tan. And the streets are paved with a little different shade of tan. It was nothing but antique stores down there, like I couldn't find a single restaurant! I have a sneaking suspicion the people in Over There ''eat'' antiques. Yeah. ''Screwed up.'' There was one guy out there doing caricatures, though. I stopped by and got one...of myself...he made me...a caric-ter...choor...it was great. Okay. All this old Coca-Cola memorabilia is making me thirsty. I'll talk at ya soon.

== Easter Eggs ==

*You can click on the Post-it note to hear it say different insults and comments:
**Hey!
**Dorks!
**Get offa me!
**You stink!
*On the second postcard, at the end of his spiel, you can click on the window and see Strong Bad being Strong Bad.
:''{A silhouetted Strong Bad peeks his head out from behind the dark rectangle, then runs toward the bike}'' 
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Tee hee hee! ''{jumps on the bike}'' Oh man. My legs don't even reach the pedals! This is about as fun as Mr. Toad's Wild Ride... But actually, that was pretty fun. There's that part where you think you're going to hit the badger, and—what the? 
:''{A second light comes on in the house, and a dog starts barking}'' 
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh geez! 
:''{Strong Bad jumps off the bike, and runs headlong into the mailbox, causing a flurry of mail and falling on the ground}'' 
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ...Hey, coupons!
*On the fourth postcard, at the end of his spiel, you can click on the rightmost headlight to see the crazy Seattle [[Monkey D]] postcard.
*On the fifth postcard, while he is talking about his caricature, you can click on the postcard and see it. The caricature is labeled "[[Leomard Sportsinterviews|LEM]] '02."

== Fun Facts ==

===Trivia===
*Until [[retirement]], this was the only email on the site where you cannot click on anything to email Strong Bad.
*When Strong Bad stands up, he makes [[The Geddup Noise]] with his voice, rather than the stool making it, according to the DVD commentary for [[army]].
*This is the longest Tandy-era email.
*This is the first email to break both the three minute ''and'' four minute mark.
*This toon has [[nondescript nouns]] ("That Clock" and "Over There").
*This email was updated over a period of approximately two weeks, with Strong Bad writing a postcard every few days.

===Inside References===
*Strong Bad expresses his displeasure at BrothaCheese for using [[Crapfully Yours|crap]] in his signature.
*"How does [[Homestar Runner]] pick stuff up if he's not wearing any Marzipants?" is both a reference to Homestar's [[lack of visible arms]] and [[Homestar Runner's Pants|pants]].
*"Get offa me!" is a reference to [[The House That Gave Sucky Treats]], in which rolling over a skull at the ending produces the same message.

===Real-World References===
*Strong Bad's email song is a take on the Elvis song "Heartbreak Hotel."
*"A little bit of this, a little bit of that" is a lyric from the song ''Anatevka'', from the musical [[Wikipedia:Fiddler on the Roof|Fiddler on the Roof]].
*[[Wikipedia:Mr. Toad's Wild Ride|Mr. Toad's Wild Ride]] is an attraction at [[Wikipedia:Disneyland|Disneyland]] based on the Disney movie [[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad|''The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad'']], which in turn was based on [[Wikipedia:The Wind in the Willows|''The Wind in the Willows'']]. The [[Wikipedia:Badger|badger]] refers to a character from the movie and book, appropriately named MacBadger, and the part of the ride that Strong Bad is referring to is the very beginning of the ride.
*In postcard 5, Strong Bad says, "Just a quick one while I'm away," a reference to [[Wikipedia:The Who|The Who's]] song [[Wikipedia:A Quick One While He's Away|"A Quick One While He's Away."]]
*In postcard 1, it says the Great Mound is "Bigger than that one in Ohio!" This is a reference to the [[Wikipedia:Serpent Mound|Serpent Mound]] in Adams County, OH.

== DVD Version ==
*The "DORKS!" sticky note is still clickable, but it only says, "Hey, dorks!"
*The Lem Sportsinterviews caricature can be seen only by hitting your DVD player's Angle button.

== External Links ==
*[[HR:sbemail40.html|watch "vacation"]]
*[[HR:sbemail40.swf|view the Flash file for "vacation"]]

{{Strong Bad Email}}
[[Category:Tandy 400 Emails]]

Peasant's Quest Responses

Free Bagels — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 16:27:32 GMT

Free Bagels: /* Walkthrough Messages */ Unnecessary quotation mark.

[[Image:PQ_look_footprints.png|thumb|300px|> LOOK FOOTPRINTS]]
The [[Peasant's Quest]] game relies on text commands to complete objectives in the game. While there are programmed responses to all of the necessary actions in the game's storyline, the game contains many responses to unproductive commands as well.

{| border="0" class="toc"
! align="center" | {{int:toc}}
|-
| align="left" |
*[[#Walkthrough Messages|1 Walkthrough Messages]]
*[[#The Three Keepers' Messages|2 The Three Keepers' Messages]]
**[[#The First Keeper|2.1 The First Keeper]]
**[[#The Second Keeper|2.2 The Second Keeper]]
**[[#The Third Keeper|2.3 The Third Keeper]]
*[[#Area Descriptions|3 Area Descriptions]]
*[[#Other Productive Responses|4 Other Productive Responses]]
**[[#Constructive Conversations|4.1 Constructive Conversations]]
**[[#Useful Documents|4.2 Useful Documents]]
**[[#Helpful Hints|4.3 Helpful Hints]]
*[[#Unproductive Responses|5 Unproductive Responses]]
|}

==Walkthrough Messages==
{{spoiler}}
The following are the messages displayed while completing the minimal number of tasks to achieve a perfect score. Note that different messages may be displayed for a game completed differently (e.g. if the Three Keepers' questions are answered), and that there are [[#Unproductive Responses|many other messages]] that may be displayed in response to inputs that are not constructive and/or not essential to completion of the game.

{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="border-collapse:collapse;"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! width="100" | Points !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]
|-
| 0 || (intro) || YOU are Rather Dashing, a humble peasant living in the peasant kingdom of Peasantry. You return home from a vacation on Scalding Lake only to find that TROGDOR THE BURNINATOR has burninated your thatched roof cottage along with all your goods and services. With nothing left to lose, you swear to get revenge on the Wingaling Dragon in the name of burninated peasants everywhere. || 3B
|-
| 0 || (intro) || You head east towards the mountain atop which TROGDOR lives. || 3C
|-
| 0 || (intro) || That's a nice looking lake. || 3D
|-
| 0 || (intro) || You can start playing in a second here. || 2D
|-
| 0 || (intro) || Okay, go for it. || 2E
|-
| 1 || get pebbles || You grab up a handful of fairly substantial pebbles. You make sure to get an even mix of sedentary, igneous, and, um, sureptitious rocks. || 3C
|-
| 2 || put rocks in bucket || You plunk all your pebbles into the bucket. The weight causes it to descend to the bottom of the well with a quickness! || 1D
|-
| 0 || turn crank || The crank seems to have loosened and you haul the bucket back up. What's this? Why there's a monster maskus in there! No doubt leftover from some pagan ritual. Silly pagans. You grab up the scary moster maskus. Man, this thing could scare a horse! || 1D
|-
| 2 || talk man || "Oh, hi. I'm Mendelev," says the archer. "I used to run a shooting range here with my brother Dongolev. But we don't talk so much anymore. I haven't seen him in a Jhonka's age. If you ever run into him, tell him I said 'haldo'. "You mean 'hello,'" you ask? "Oh, um. No. Shut up. I said 'haldo' and I meant 'haldo.' Tell him I said 'haldo.'"
|| 2D
|-
| 2 || wear mask || You slip on the hideous monster maskus. You scared the crap outta Poor Gary! He broke on through to the other side! || 1A
|-
| 3 || haldo || the archer stops arching and turns to you. "My brother told you to tell me haldo? He must want to start the old business back up!" || Hidden glen
|-
| 2 || get arrow || You pick out a really good one and yank it from the tree. Hooray! Now you have an arrow! || Hidden glen
|-
| 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D
|-
| 1 || get chicken feed || You used to eat this stuff like crazy when you were a kid and your parents weren't watching (which was all too often). You grab several large handfuls. || Baby lady cottage
|-
| 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || the baby lady calls after you, "Hey, you're on some quest right? Well, the little squirt here lost something of mine in the yard the other day. It's yours if you can find it." || Baby lady cottage
|-
| 0 || get berries (first bush) || You reach into the bush to snag some berries but they all just squish in your hand. || 4D
|-
| 0 || get berries (second bush) || Man, nothing in this bush but squished berries either. || 4D
|-
| 0 || get berries (third bush) || Too bad you don't want any squished berries, cuz hey: jackpot! || 4D
|-
| 2 || get berries (fourth bush) || You reach into the bush to snag you some berries but instead find a Super Trinket! These things are awesome! You have a sneaking suspicion that SOMEONE in this game will need this thing. || 4D
|-
| 2 || throw chicken feed || You toss the feed into the lake. You shed a tear for each one. "Goodbye, Monty" you sniff. "Bye Delga, Rasputin. Farewell, Combledon!" and so forth. Woah! That crotchety old man just caught a pantload of fish! "Now I can get back to running the inn," he says and rows to shore and hauls his boat out and cleans, guts, and filets all the fish and a buncha other stuff we didn't animate. || 3D
|-
| 2 || give super trinket || "That'll work," says Mendelev. Just hit 3 bullseyes and you win the SuperTime FunBow TM!" "The ARROW KEYS aim left and right and the SPACE BAR operates the bow. You'll need to press it a couple of times to get a nice shot off but we don't give lessons so you're on your own." || 2C
|-
| 3 || (get [X]=3-5 bullseyes) || "Nice shootin! [X] hits." Says Mendelev. "Here's your prize!" You got the SuperTime FunBow TM! We don't sell ammo, so you'll have to find your own arrows for it. || 2C
|-
| 5 || shoot Kerrek with bow || Here goes nothin', Kid Icarus ARROWED!! Nice shot. You smote the Kerrek! He lay there stinking. A light rain heralds the washing free of the Kerrek's grip on the land. You're feeling pretty good, though, so the artless symbolism doesn't bug you. || 1B or 4C
|-
| 10 || get belt || You strap the Kerrek's belt buckle around your waist. Oh boy. You sure stink now. || 1B or 4C
|-
| 2 || (walk into mud puddle) || Now you've done it! You're covered in sticky, albeit fine smelling, mud. Your "Scalding Lake" T-shirt is all soiled, too. You just washed it last harvest! || 2B
|-
| 3 || jump into hay || You've not known much better than a roll in the hay alone. You leap in the hay like a two years old boy. Uh oh. The hay sticks to your muddy body. You're a walking hay bale! Just like that one guy from that one show! || 2A
|-
| 0 || (walk to Jhonka's cave) || Hey, nice disguise! The Jhonka doesn't seem to notice you. || 3A
|-
| 7 || steal riches || Oh OH! A stiff breeze blew all the hay and, surprisingly, the mud off of you! "You take my riches?!" growls the Jhonka. || 3A
|-
| 0 || No || "Okay. Lemme know if you see riches anywhere," he grunts and goes back to his hopping. You smooth talker, you. || 3A
|-
| 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D
|-
| 5 || give riches || "My riches!!" she screams and snatches up every last gold coin. "Thanks, sucker! Here you go!" she shoves the baby into your hands and bolts out the door. You later learn that she does this all the time and is wanted throughout the countryside. Those riches probably WERE the Jhonka's and who knows whose baby that is. Well, it's yours now. || Baby lady cottage
|-
| 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || This place is dead anyway. || Baby lady cottage
|-
| 5 || throw baby || Something tells you this is a good idea and you lob the little one into the lake. You won't be arrested after all! The little guy has resurfaced safely, carrying an old bottle of soda. You take the soda and stow your swaddling buddy for takeoff. || 3C
|-
| 3 || put baby in bucket || Okay, Father of the Year. You put a baby in a bucket and it quickly descends deep into the well. Yours is a black, black heart. || 1C
|-
| 2 || turn crank || You haul the bucket back up. Lucky for you, the baby is still in it and appears to be unscathed. As a bonus, it looks like he found a Meatball sub down there. Score! You take the sub. Oh, and the baby. You take the baby. || 1C
|-
| 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E
|-
| 5 || give baby || "Well lookit that little guy!" says the Innkeeper. "You want a treat, do ya? What do babies like?" He fishes around in his pockets. "Um, how bout my medication!" You grab the bottle of pills before he can force them on the baby. "Hey, those were for him!" || inn
|-
| 2 || move rock || You slide the stone over to reveal a little hole. If only you could cut off your arms, legs, and head you might be able to squeeze through! || 4A
|-
| 5 || put baby into the hole || Deploying Q-Baby... Way to go, baby! It got the cottage door opened and headed off to a new life. He becomes Valedictorian of his graduating class, goes to Scalding Lake State, gets a degree in Advanced Peasantry and lands a job at Thatch-Pro: building better cottages for a better tomorrow. You grow apart and the letters from him become fewer and fewer. He develops a severe mead problem and blames you for never being there. || 4A
|-
| 0 || open drawer || There's a vintage peasant robe in there! Just like grampa used to wear. || Mysterious cottage
|-
| 10 || get robe || Yeah! Get that robe! || Mysterious cottage
|-
| 1 || close drawer || Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint. || Mysterious cottage
|-
| 3 || wear robe || You slip into the vintage robe. It smells like grampa's lap. Now you're lookin like a serious peasant. || anywhere
|-
| 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E
|-
| 3 || get room || "Okay, youngster," says the decrepit old person. "Just bed on down for the night and I'm sure I'll remember to collect the fee come morning." Night falls like a bad power point presentation. What an uncomfortable bed! You sleep for maybe 20 minutes before the extreme pain in your spine forces you to get up.|| Inside giant inn
|-
| 2 || get pot || You reach way up to the top shelf. Oh great! Now you can't see a thing and your head is covered in highly flammable horse grease. You better get out of here before that disgusting old man comes back. || Inside giant inn
|-
| 3 || (exiting inn with pot on head) || Phew! You discard the big black pot and wipe the horse grease from your eyes. The hood of your robe is still covered in highly flammable horse grease, though. || 3E
|-
| 10 || (walking under candle in burninated trees) || Whoa! The horse grease on your robe caught fire! You're a for-real peasant now. || 4E
|-
| 0 || (exiting 4E) || Man, screens sure get light fast around here. || 1E, 3E, or 4D
|-
| 7 || talk knight || Lookin good, Mr. Peasant. Good luck with ol' Beefy Arm up there. This is it! You can finally get revenge on Trogdor! Nice work so far, stupid! Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter. Disk read error. Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter. || 2E
|-
| 0 || climb || With a new determination you dig your fingers into the cliff face and begin to haul yourself up the mountain like you were in a sports drink commercial The mountain starts rumbling and big loose boulders start tumblin down. You'd best avoid thems. || Cliff base
|-
| 3 || (successfully climbing the cliff without dying) || Nice jorb climbing the cliff. You have a real way with those arrow keys. || Cliffland heights
|-id="bribery_route"
| 0 || (approached by first keeper) || Foolish peasant! How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber! You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too! You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword. And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly. Unless you happen to have something to eat on ya. Then we could forego my question. || Trogdor's outer sanctum
|-
| 5 || give sandwich || No way! I was just kidding but you've really got a meatball sub. This rules! Here, you can have the Trog-Shield. || Trogdor's outer sanctum
|-
| 0 || (approached by second keeper) || Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question! Or we could call it even if I had an ice cold drink right now. || Trogdor's outer sanctum
|-
| 5 || give soda || Sweet deal, peasant. I underestimated you. Wear this Trog-Helmet with style. || Trogdor's outer sanctum
|-
| 0 || (approached by third keeper) || Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION! That is, unless you've got something for my lower back. Man, it's killin me! || Trogdor's outer sanctum
|-
| 5 || give pills || Whoa! Where'd you find this stuff? I don't think this is even legal anymore. These babies'll definitely smote LUMBAGO the, um, LOWER BACKINATOR!! The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant. || Trogdor's outer sanctum
|-
| 0 || (enter Trogdor's cave) || the beaded curtain slams shut behind you. There's no turning back now. || Trogdor's posh lair
|-
| 7 || throw sword || This is it! You hurl the Trog-Sword with all your might at the sleeping Burninator. Now you've done it! Trogdor's awake and the Trog-Sword doesn't seem to be doing a whole lot. Your legs lock in fear, your eyes glaze over and you wish for some Depeasant adult undergarments. But you think you hear Trogdor whimpering! Aw crap, that's you whimpering. At least your voice still works, I guess.|| Trogdor's posh lair
|-
| 10 || talk trogdor || You scream that your name is Rather Dashing and that Trogdor burninated your cottage and you're here for revenge! "Sup, mortal," booms Trogdor. "I really appreciate you making the effort to come all the way up here and vanquish me and all. But, I'm kinda indestructible." "Yeah, I can't be killed. I'm surprised nobody mentioned that to you. I'll admit though, you've gotten farther than anybody else ever has. I bet they'll make a statue or something in honor of you somewheres." "I can honestly say it'll be a pleasure and an honor to burninate you, Rather Dashing." Aw that sure was nice of him! Congratulations! You've won! No one can kill Trogdor but you came closer than anybody ever! Way to go! || Trogdor's posh lair
|-
| 0 || (credits) || Peasant's Quest Written by Matt, Jonathan, and Mike || 3D
|-
| 0 || (credits) || Programmed by Jonathan || 1E
|-
| 0 || (credits) || Graphics by Mike and Matt || 3A
|-
| 0 || (credits) || Quality Assurance Types: Neal Stamper, Don Chapman, and John Radle Nice work on winning and everything. THE END || 3B
|}

==The Three Keepers' Messages==
There are several messages that the game may return while [[Rather Dashing]] is answering questions of [[The Three Keepers of Trogdor]]. The simplest way to complete this part of the game is to bribe the Keepers; the messages returned in this case are listed [[Peasant's Quest Responses#bribery_route|above]]. If Rather Dashing has not acquired the three items necessary to bribe the Keepers, however, he must answer a question from each of them. The messages returned while answering their questions are listed here.

===The First Keeper===
====Introductory Message====
How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber! You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too! You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword. And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.
====Possible Questions====
''The First Keeper will ask you one of the following questions (the correct answer is '''bolded'''):''
:Okay here goes. What did you win from the Archery game?
:A. SuperBow FunTime TM
:'''B. SuperTime FunBow TM'''
:C. SuperFun BowTime TM
 
:Okay here goes. What does Mendelev have you tell Dongolev?
:'''A. Haldo'''
:B. Hallo
:C. Allo
 
:Okay here goes. What is the only creature the Jhonka fears?
:A. Poor Gary
:B. The Baby
:'''C. The Kerrek'''

====Response to Correct Answer====
"Ah crap! You're right. Here, take this stupid Trog-Shield!"
====Response to Incorrect Answer====
"Sorry peasant! You fail! And as punishment, you will be turned into...RON CUMBERDALE!!"
 
You ask who the crap Ron Cumberdale is.
 
"Just this kid from 4th grade that I really hated. But he was a BIG LOSER and HE SMELLED!"
 
Well, you not exactly dead. But there's no way you could defeat Trogdor as Ron Cumberdale. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.

===The Second Keeper===
====Introductory Message====
Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!
====Possible Questions====
:Listen careful now. Which one of these letters is the letter C?
:A. B
:'''B. C'''
:C. A
 
:Listen careful now. How many berry bushes are there in the whole kingdom of Peasantry?
:A. 4
:'''B. 5'''
:C. 6
 
:Listen careful now. What was the Innkeeper's pantry full of?
:A. Epsom Salts
:B. Epson Printers
:'''C. Old Man Rub'''
====Response to Correct Answer====
"That's right. Oh. This sucks. Guess I have to give you this Trog-Helmet. Dang."
====Response to Incorrect Answer====
"WRONG! You are hereby cursed to write corny folk songs for the rest of eternity! The kind that only OLD PEOPLE LIKE!!"
 
Well, you not exactly dead. But you certainly can't face Trogdor after writing 'Wheat Grows Sweet, But My Gal's Sweeter'. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.

===The Third Keeper===
====Introductory Message====
Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!
====Possible Questions====
:Riddle me this. To whom did the robe you're wearing originally belong?
:A. Nobleman Nicholas
:B. Nina Neverawesome
:'''C. Naked Ned'''
 
:Riddle me this. What color are the leaves on the tree that grows by the well?
:'''A. Orange'''
:B. Green
:C. Yellow
 
:Riddle me this. Which way does the river that runs through Peasantry flow?
:A. West to East
:B. Northwest to South
:'''C. Northeast to Southwest'''
====Response to Correct Answer====
"Uh oh. You got it right. Trogdor's gonna kill me. Okay, you can have the Trog-Sword. Just promise not to kill any Trogdor's with it, kay?"
 
You just stare at the Keeper blankly.
 
"Okay fine! You can have the dumb thing anyways. Trogdor's through the beaded curtain over there."
 
The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant.
====Response to Incorrect Answer====
YES! I was hoping you'd get mine wrong. No Trog-Sword for you. In fact, no skin for you either!
 
Wow. You sure dead. You had a good run, though. Thanks for playin.

''Note: if you fail to provide "A", "B", or "C" as an answer to any of the above questions, the Keeper will ask the question again, replacing the first sentence with the following one:'' Peasant fool! Choose A, B, or C!

==Area Descriptions==
By typing "look" in an area, you can receive a description of the surrounding area. Sometimes descriptions change as events come to pass.

*'''Hidden Glen:''' Well, looky here! A hidden glen! You LOVE hidden glens. This one has some kinda archer in it.
**''{after Dongelev leaves}'' You're in a hidden glen. There's a tree with zillions of arrows in it.
*'''Poor Gary's Glen ([[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|A1]]):''' Hey! There's a rotten ol' horse over there!
*'''Kerrek Tracks 1 (B1):''' There are large hoof prints in the grass here.
**''{no Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the the [sic] grass here. And it smells like a public latrine.
**''{living Kerrek}'' It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!
**''{dead Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. There is a large Kerrek-shaped mound on the grass.
**''{rotting Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Part of the ground looks just like a rotting kerrek.
**''{skeletal Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Looks like someone left their spare bones here.
*'''Old Well (C1):''' There's a really generic well here. Oh, and apparently it's autumn on this screen.
*'''Yellow Tree (D1):''' Rushing river [[b/w]] yellow tree.
*'''Waterfall (E1):''' There's a beautiful, magical waterfall cascading down the cliff side.
*'''That Hay Bale (A2):''' Well, there's that big bale of hay over there.
**''{when in hay disguise, anywhere}'' Right now, you see a bunch of hay.
*'''That Mud Puddle (B2):''' There's a dried out mud puddle. It's all caked and cracked like the kind rock stars are always standing on.
**''{when raining}'' Not much to see. 'Sides that big mud puddle.
*'''Archery Range (C2):''' You've come across some kind of shooting gallery. There's a depressed looking archer at the desk there.
*'''River and Stone (D2):''' Not much to see. River's got a rock in it.
*'''Mountain Pass (E2):''' You've reached the mountain pass that leads to Trogdor's lair. A royal knight blocks the entrance.
*'''Jhonka's Cave (A3):''' There's a little cave with a little door with a little note on it.
**''{before getting riches, after Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.A fat pile of riches lies next to him.
**''{after the Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.
*'''Your Burninated Cottage (B3):''' The remains of your thatched-roof cottage lie before you. You swear revenge against Trogdor.
*'''Pebble Lake West (C3):''' There's definitely half a lake here with a sandy shore.
*'''Pebble Lake East (D3):''' Why it's half a lake.
**''{when the old man is fishing}'' Why it's half a lake.With a fisherman in it. And he's fishing!
*'''Outside Giant Inn (E3):''' There's a giant Inn here. It takes up, like, the entire screen.
**'''Inside Giant Inn:''' What a dump! Only one bed and no minibar? The Innkeeper stands behind the desk and there's a door that's closed.
**'''Inside Giant Inn:''' ''{at night}'' It's still dark out. The grimey old Innkeeper is gone and he left the pantry open.
*'''Outside Mysterious Cottage: (A4)''' There's a run-of-the-mill non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.
**'''Inside Mysterious Cottage:''' This place could use some serious sprucing of the 'up' variety. There's a dresser over there and a broom kind of silhouetted all mysterious like.
*'''Wavy Tree (B4):''' Nothing special here except for that weird wavy tree.
*'''Kerrek Tracks 2 (C4):''' ''{same as Kerrek Tracks 1}''
*'''Outside Baby Lady Cottage (D4):''' There's a ranch-style thatched roof cottage here. There are also what appear to be four crunch berry bushes but you can't be sure.
**'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. A lady rocks her baby in a chair. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.
**'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' ''{after the baby lady leaves}'' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. There is one of those self-rocking chairs. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.
*'''Burninated Trees (E4):''' A signal lantern of some kind hangs from a burninated tree.
**''{at night}'' A burning signal lantern hangs from a severely burninated tree.
*'''Cliff Base:''' You're at the base of a very climbable cliff that leads to Trogdor's lair. This cliff is huge - the kind where rocks start falling down the minute you try to climb it.
*'''Cliffland Heights:''' Wow! It sure gets creepy fast around here! What with all the lightning and scary cave entrances.
*'''Trogdor's Outer Sanctum:''' There are 3 openings with a little cliff in front of each. A beaded curtain hangs in a doorway on the far wall.
*'''Trogdor's Posh Lair:''' You're in a giant cavern which houses a giant dragon. You didn't shrink or anything.

==Other Productive Responses==
===Constructive Conversations===
There are some helpful residents of [[Peasantry]] who will provide you with tips about how to proceed in the game. While these conversations are not necessary for completion of the game, many are important to the game's storyline.

{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="border-collapse:collapse;"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! width="100" | Character !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]
|-
| [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (at beginning of game) || You explain your situation to the knight. That Trogdor burninated your cottage and you've sworn revenge. You ask for passage up the mountain to settle your score. (Press RETURN to advance through conversations) "Hang on there, Trogdorkilla," says the knight. "I can only allow actual peasants up the mountain pass to face Trogdor. And you CLEARLY are not one." "Look, Dragonheart..." "You don't STINK like a peasant." "You don't DRESS like a peasant." "And you're definitely not ON FIRE like a peasant." "Once you're those 3 things, come back and maybe we can talk." "Be sure to LOOK around lots. Talk to everyone you see and ASK ABOUT stuff. Type HELP if you get confused and INVENTORY to see your worldly stuff. Type SAVE or LOAD to save or load your game. Duh." || 2E
|-id="belt_only"
| [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt) || "Frankly, Matthew Broderick, you sure stink like a peasant. But you still don't DRESS like a peasant and you're not ON FIRE like a peasant." || 2E
|-id="robe_only"
| [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Naked Ned's robe) || "My dear Adso, you are dressed well but you don't STINK and you're not ON FIRE. Let us instead exercise our brains and try to solve this tantalizing conundrum." || 2E
|-id="belt_and_robe"
| [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt and Naked Ned's robe) || "Almost there, Dirk the Daring. You stink like a peasant and you dress like one too. But you're clearly still not ON FIRE." || 2E
|-
| [[Baby Lady & Her Baby#The Baby Lady|The Baby Lady]] || talk lady || "Hello, I'm-" you start but the lady cuts you off "Okay, here's why I let you in here," she explains. "My husband got squished by Trogdor. And to make matters worse, the insurance riches I got were stolen by Jhonka. Go steal them back for us and I'll give you something great." || Baby lady cottage
|-
| [[Old Man]] || talk man (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || You holler at the old man about Trogdor, but he just grumbles about the fish not biting. "Must be using the wrong bait..." he says, suggestively. || 3D
|-
| [[Old Man]] || talk man (after throwing chicken feed in lake) || "If you're interested in staying the night, just type 'get a room.'" || Inside giant inn
|-
| [[Old Man]] || get a room (without robe)|| "I only serve peasants here, fancypants!" barks the old guy. "Where's your robe?" || Inside giant inn
|}

===Useful Documents===
There are a few notes and documents lying around Peasantry that help Rather Dashing on his quest.
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="border-collapse:collapse;"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! width="100" | Item !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]
|-
| [[Peasant's Quest Items#map|Map]] || get map || You tuck it nice-like into your short, short pants. Type MAP at nearly any time to check the map. || 3B
|-
| Note on [[Old Man]]'s door || read note (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || It says, "Gone Fishin" just like that grog coozie your cousin got you. || 3E
|-
| Note on [[Jhonka]]'s door || read note (before killing [[Kerrek]]) || It says "scared of kerrek. go way. -j" || 3A
|}

===Helpful Hints===
At times when you stray from the correct path in the game, the computer will respond with suggestions to help keep you on the right track.
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="border-collapse:collapse;"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Action !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]
|-
| After jumping in the haystack, go from 2A to any screen except 3A || Drat. The winds are heavy on all but a couple of key screens... looks like you're no longer in stealth mode. || 1A or 2B
|-
| Type any command while the pot of horse grease is on your head || You need to get out of there before that smelly octogenarian gets back. || Inside giant inn
|-
| Type any command other than "Talk" or "Talk Trogdor" after Trogdor wakes up || Trogdor is awake and a couple seconds from a Rather Dashing BBQ. Might as well say your peace with him. || Trogdor's Posh Lair
|}

==Unproductive Responses==
[[Image:closedrawer.PNG|thumb|300px|> CLOSE DRAWER]]
There are many messages that the game gives you when you input commands that are not essential to the game's storyline. Here is a list of all that have been found. When more than one option is given, such as "get/take _____", either word will produce the same response.

{{compactTOC3}}
{{clear}}
===#===

===A===
*'''"Ask about _____":'''
**'''Baby:'''
***(to Baby Lady) - "This little guy's all I got left. If only someone would steal back all our riches from that filthy Jhonka."
**'''Fire:'''
***(to knight) - "Well, whenever I see peasants, they tend to be on fire. So get yourself on fire. I hear horse grease gives a nice, controlled burn."
***(to baby lady) - "You need fire? A couple of trees over by the waterfall used to be on fire. But now there's like a signal lantern over there or something." / "So should I ask that signal lantern?" you ask. / "I dunno man! Whattaya want from me?"
***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - "Trogdor just burned down some idiot peasant's cottage. You should ask him," says Mendelev. / "Yeah, this jerk goes on vacation to some prancey lake and..." / They see you staring daggers at them and turn bright red. / "Oh. Nevermind," says Dongolev. "Um, yeah. What's a fire?" adds Mendelwhatever.
***(to Jhonka) - "Burninator make fire! Barbecue all peasants!"
***(to innkeeper) - "I've always preferred being on fire at night. Looks prettier and keeps the butterflies away."
**'''Jhonka:'''
***(to knight) - "Since the Kerrek showed up, we don't see the Jhonka so much anymore. He lives in that little cave over in west Peasantry."
***(to Baby Lady) - "That nasty thing killed my husband and took my riches!!" / "I thought Trogdor killed your husband," you interject. / "Oh right. Yeah. That's what I said. Trogband killed my husbdor."
***(to Jhonka) - "The Kerrek is dead!" he cries and hops around some more. You wonder how someone this primitive could have made that much dough.
**'''Kerrek:'''
***(to knight) - "I call him Big Stinky. He's slow and stupid, but he'll pound you into milks meat without a second thought."
**'''Naked Ned:'''
***(to knight) - "That weirdo used to live over in west Peasantry but now I guess he just prances around the forest in his birthday suit."
***(to baby lady) - "Don't talk about that pervert in front of the baby here."
***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - "That guy creeps us out. In fact, shut up about him."
***(to Jhonka) - "Filthy naked peasant! Stay away from my cave-hole!" Who's he calling naked? HE'S the one wearing the string bikini.
***(to innkeeper) - "He used to be such a nice, clothed young man. Wonder what he's done with all his old clothes?"
**'''robe:'''
***(to knight) - "Peasants wear those brown robes. You know, with the rope around the waist. Get yourself one of those."
***(to baby lady) - "You can't have mine, pervert! I'm not a nudist peasant like that weirdo over in west Peasantry!"
***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - "We wouldn't know. We only wear archer clothes. You just can't arch real well in a robe, y'know?"
***(to Jhonka) - ''see naked ned''
***(to innkeeper) - "I wear my robe hood-down so it's easier to trim my ear-hairs. If you need a robe, maybe try someone that's not using theirs."
**'''smell:'''
***(to knight) - "I never met a peasant that didn't stink. If you wanna smell bad, get the Kerrek involved. That thing reeks!"
***(to baby lady) - "What smells is junior here's drawers! I gotta quit feeding him so much horse!" / "And don't start asking me for his diapers, sicko!"
***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - "That giant pig running around sure smells bad. Maybe talk to him."
***(to Jhonka) - "Kerrek smell! Now Kerrek dead!" screeches the Jhonka. So you can infer from this that all smells are dead? You always sucked at the analytical questions.
***(to innkeeper) - "Well, if you don't stink, maybe find something that does and wear it. Like a dead carcass or summat."
**'''trogdor:'''
***(to knight) - "If I had a gold coin for every whining peasant's cottage that freaking dragon burninated, I'd be rich as a jhonka."
***(to baby lady) - "I hope you kill that stupid dragon. My 'Wives of Squished Peasants' support group would bake you a Poor Gary pie if you did."
***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - "Oh man, there was this one time when I came THIS close to having Trogdor ARROWED!" says Dongolev. / "Hey, shut up! That was me!" interrupts Mendelev, "YOU almost arrowed that blue baby!" says Dongolev. [sic] / "Did not!" / "Did so!" / "Did not!" / (You see where this is going.)
***(to Jhonka) - "All hail Burninator! Trogdor Number One! Beat Peasant Tech!" says the grimy Jhonka.
***(to innkeeper) - "Are you talking about that young green boy that lives up the street? He's always tearing my roof off and eating my customers."
**'''anything else:'''
***(to knight) - "I don't know anything about that, short pants."
***(to baby lady) - "I dunno what you're talking about."
***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - "Either we don't know anything about that, or you're real boring."
***(to Jhonka) - "Jhonka don't know nothing bout that!"
***(to innkeeper) - "I don't know nothing about no whatever you just said."
***(anywhere else) - "Ask about what?"
: * - You can only ask Mendelev and Dongolev when they're together.
*'''"attack sign"''' (at the Mountain Pass) - "I was being facetious, Mr. Smarty-short-pants. No sign attacking for you."

===B===
*'''"boo"''' (anywhere) - "Scared me."
*'''"break/kick/punch door"''' (at Outside mysterious cottage) - "Violence is not the answer."
*'''"break sign"''' (at Mountain Pass) - ''See "attack sign"''
*'''"break stump, sit on stump, etc."''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - "Are you THAT bored? Do some questing already!"
*'''"buy kerrek a cold one"''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - "The kerrek is a teetotaller and is offended by your offer. You've really cheesed him off now." '''Warning:''' This speeds the Kerrek up, so be careful. This command was first seen in the email [[for kids]].

===C===
*'''"[[The Cheat|cheat]]"''' (or any phrase involving "cheat"; anywhere) - "Meh."
*'''"climb _____"'''
**'''"cliff"'''
***(anywhere near the bottom of the cliff) - "There aren't enough footholds and you don't have any carabeaners on you."
***(at the top of the cliff) - "They don't show how the sports-drink people get down from the cliff. You've no idea how to start."
***(in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - "Nope. It's too sheer."
**'''"fence"'''
***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - "No, you have business to attend to here in Peasantry."
***(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - "More like you should walk through that gaping hole in it. Just an idea."
***(at the hidden glen) - "Not going to dignify that with a response."
**'''"in bucket"''' (at the well) - "Your butt is too big."
**'''"in well"''' (at the well) - "No go. Your insurance doesn't cover that."
**'''"tree"'''
***(anywhere but at the wavy tree or hidden glen) - "But then your hands would get all sappy."
***(at the hidden glen) - "Naw, you'd probably figure out some way to kill yourself doing that."
***(at the wavy tree) - "You don't climb wavy trees."
***(after getting a room in the inn) - "Naw. That's dumb. Do better."
*'''"close _____"'''
**'''"door"'''
***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - "Already done. That was easy!"
***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - "You can't. That baby really wrenched it open good."
**'''"drawer"'''
***(without stealing the robe) - "Right, right. Wouldn't want to leave the robes out where any old guy trying to beat an adventure game could take them."
***(when it's closed) - "A riddle: What can be closed that is already closed? (hint: not this drawer)"
***(after getting the robe) - "Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint."
*'''"cut off arms, legs, and head"''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) - "Very funny. You have trouble cutting out coupons in the weekly 'Peasant Penny-Pincher' circular. I'd like to see you try."

===D===
*'''"[[dan]]"''' (or any phrase involving Dan; anywhere): "Dan's still okay. Got a place on Dekalb with Rick and his wife. Slimmed up a bit and looking towards the future."
*'''"dance"''' (anywhere) - "You'd rather just stand here and soak up the scene."
*'''"die"''' (anywhere) - "That wasn't very smart. You dead." '''Warning:''' This kills you.
*'''"drink"''' (or any object after "drink"; anywhere) - "For simplicity's sake you are immune to hunger and thirst in this game. So you got that going for you./Which is nice."
*'''"drop baby"'''
**(once you have baby) - "Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm." '''or''' "Quit tryin to ditch the baby!"
**(before you have baby) - "You don't even have two babies to rub together."
**(at the well) - "Like where?"

===E===

===F===
*'''"feed horse"''' (at Poor Gary's glen before scaring him) - "There's a good chance that horse has NEVER eaten. I doubt he'll start now."

===G===
*'''"get a room"''' (when on fire) - "\oard [sic] of Peasant Health says I can't serve any folk that's on fire. Nothing personal. Well, I mean, I don't like you much anyway."
*'''"get/take/steal _____"'''
**'''"(anything not listed and not relevant to the plot)"''' - "You probably WISH you could get that."
**'''"arrow"'''
***(at the archery range) - "They have 'RANGE' printed on them, so it would be kind of embarrassing to have to shoot around with them. Also, that guy over there is giving you the evil eye."
***(at the secret glen while Dongolev is there) - "Something tells me now's not a good time." (you get the arrow anyway and Dongolev shoots you) "It wasn't a good time. Hey, my mom's making peasant-kabobs for dinner TOO! Right. Anyway. You dead. Thanks for playing, and try not to die." '''Warning:''' As you can see, this kills you.
***(at the secret glen after getting the first arrow OR at the secret glen after getting the second arrow after killing the Kerrek) - "You're pretty much all set on the arrow front. They're kinda cool, though."
***(at the secret glen after killing the Kerrek) - "You grab yet another arrow from the tree hoping to get some bonus points."
***(at Kerrek's body after killing the Kerrek) - "Eww! No way. That thing's got some serious Kerrek-Brand kooties on it now."
**'''"baby"''' (inside the woman's cottage, while she has the baby) - "'You want to be a part of this family? GO GET US THOSE RICHES!!' she shrieks."
**'''"bell"''' (in the inn, after getting a room) - "You can't. It looks like it's been somehow olded to the desk."
**'''"belt"''' (after getting it) - "You totally got the belt already, as evidenced by the rancid cloud of odor that follows you like a shadow."
**'''"berries"'''
***(the same bush twice outside the woman's cottage) - "You already searched that bush. It was okay. Nothing to write home about... oh, wait... you don't have a home. My b."
***(after you've gotten the trinket, outside the woman's cottage) - "You've searched your fill of berry bushes for this game. If you want to search more press 'reload' on the browser"
***(at the west side of the lake) - "NO MAN! JEEZ!"
**'''"bone/skull"''' (at the top of the cliff) - "Eww. No. Grody. You're grody. No. Eww."
**'''"broom"''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - "No, no. The broom is in the foreground and you can't take things from the foreground. You don't see me all typing 'get browser window', do you?"
**'''"bucket"''' (at the well) - "You can't, it's tied to a rope and you're terrible with knots."
**'''"candle"''' (at night, in the inn) - "It seems like you should be able to do that, doesn't it? Sorry. No dice."
**'''"chair"'''
***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is there) - "No. There's a big bag of something in it. Oh, that's the baby lady."
***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is gone) - "No. Too big for pants."
**'''"club"''' (outside the Jhonka's cottage when he's out) - "Now there's a surefire way to get yourself killed."
**'''"drawer"''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - "You get a hernia from lifting it. -2 Movement points, -10 Constitution. Don't do that again."
**'''"feed"''' (inside the woman's cottage after stealing feed) - "You don't need anymore. It might give rise to old temptations."
**'''"fire"'''
***(at the burninated tree at night, before getting the horse grease) - "You're just not flammable enough."
***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting the horse grease) - "You don't need to get IT. Just let IT get YOU."
***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting on fire) - "You're already on fire! What? You want to be MORE on fire?"
**'''"flies"''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - "You nasty. Besides, they wouldn't survive a minute away from that horse's butt."
**'''"gold/money"''' (inside the woman's cottage) - "Um, that's chicken feed."
**'''"grease"''' (inside the inn, at night, when you already got the grease) - "You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood."
**'''"hay"'''
***(at the hay bale) - "Who do you think you are? Some kind of Thy Dungeonman? You don't need any hay."
***(inside the woman's cottage) - "There's a huge bale a couple of screens over from here. Why bother stealing?"
**'''"kerrek"''' (in the Kerrek's domain whether or not he's still alive) - "Well, he does smell real bad. But he's a bit too big to fit in your pocket."
**'''"lantern"''' (at the signal lantern) - "Better not. There's an engraved plaque on it that says, "Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of 'You Die'."
**'''"mud"'''
***(when it's wet, before you fall in) - "You can't get the mud so much. More like the mud'll get you."
***(when it's wet, after you fall in) - "You've already gotten an heapin' helpin' all up on yo'self."
**'''"map"''' (at your cottage, after you've gotten it) - "Yeah but like you already map the took, guy!"
**'''"note"'''
***(at Jhonka's cave) - "It's been magically sealed to the door with a wondrously whimsical spell."
***(outside the inn) - "What is it with you and notes?! No!!"
**'''"old man rub"''' (in the inn) - "You disgust me."
**'''"paper"''' (in the inn) - "Naw, it might be important to that wrinkly old loon."
**'''"painting"''' (in the inn) - "Weird. It's actually painted right into the wall. Like, the frame and everything."
**'''"pebbles"'''
***(after you've gotten them) - "Come now. We've been through this jaunty little bit before. You took them from the half lake screen with the cattail and stuff."
***(from the opposite side of where you get the pebbles) "You do your best Mr. Fantastic impression, but you can't reach them from here."
**'''"plague"''' (at the signal lantern) - "Wrong game, Mispeller Jones. Try the little button to the left of the 'W'."
**'''"plaque"''' (at the signal lantern) - "You have enough of that on your browning, rotten peasant teeth already."
**'''"pillow"'''
***(in the inn) - "Not a chance. There's even more questionable stains on that pillow than there are on that rug."
***(inside the woman's cottage) - "You don't have anywhere to use it and it is rather bulky, so you leave it."
**'''"pot"''' (in the inn, after you already have horse grease) - "You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood."
**'''"robe"'''
***(in Naked Ned's cottage, after you've gotten it) - "You still remember the time when you took them. Oh, the times have changed ... but the robes?"
***(in Naked Ned's cottage, when the drawer is closed) - "You reach into the closed drawer and nearly break your hand slamming it. Just like a bird on a pane of glass minus the blamelessness."
**'''"rock"'''
***(by the stream) - "For what? Now you're just making up puzzles to solve."
***(at the mud puddle) - "That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me."
***(outside Naked Ned's cottage, after moving it) - "You've already moved the stone out of the way to reveal a less-than peasant-sized hole."
**'''"rug"''' (in the inn) - "You're not touching that thing. Too many questionable stains on it."
**'''"stuff/food"''' (inside the woman's cottage) - "Which foodstuffs?"
**'''"target"''' (at the archery range) - "No. Those will fall on you and more than likely kill you."
*'''"give _____"'''
**'''"(anything not listed)"'''
***(inside the woman's cottage) - "We don't need that mess."
***(anywhere except for the woman's cottage) - "You don't need to give that now."
**'''"baby"'''
***(in the inn, before you get the baby) - "You have no baby nor any immediate prospects."
***(in the inn, when you already have the pills) - "You already milked that fogey for all the pills he's worth."
**'''"riches"'''
***(inside the woman's cottage, before getting the riches) - "'That's right,' she whines. 'Find my riches, and give here.'"
***(outside Jhonka's cave, before jumping in hay) - "The Jhonka will see you! And rip out your jugular with his teeth or something equally horrible."
***(inside the woman's cottage, after giving the riches) - "We did that already, and it was sort of humiliating."
**'''"trinket"'''
***(inside the woman's cottage) - " 'Did you find that thing in my yard?' she asks. 'I got that thing free in a box of Plaguezees. I need some FOR REAL riches!' "
***(inside woman's cottage after giving trinket to Mendelev) - "'Why are you holding your hand out?' she asks. 'I told you I need riches, so I can't give em away.' You don't have a trinket to give, you realize."
*'''"go _____"''' (anything or letter can be put in here) - "Use the arrow keys, pal. Just like a joypad only more like your day job."

===H===
*'''"haldo"'''
**(anywhere but in the secret glade, before or after talking to Mendelev) - "That's totally not Dongolev."
**(in the secret glade before talking to Mendelev) - "What'd you read that in PQ Stragedy [sic] Guide? Go talk to my brother first."
**(in the secret glade after Dongolev leaves) - "Haldo?.' you call out... 'Hadloooooo' [sic] "
**(at the archery Range after Dongolev has returned) - "HALDO!!"
*'''"hide in hay"''' (at the hay bale, before getting in) - "Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago."
*'''"hug tree"''' (at the hay bale) - "To every thing, turn, turn, turn. There is a season, turn, turn, turn."

===I===

===J===
*'''"jump in hay"'''
**(by the hay bale, when you're not muddy) - "Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago."
**(near the hay bale, when you're muddy but not right next to it) - "Who do you think you are, MJ? Try from a little closer."

===K===
*'''"kick/kill/punch poor gary"'''
**(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - "You attempt to cause Poor Gary harm for no good reason other than you kinda suck at this game. {Poor Gary kicks you} WOW! For a decrepit old horse, Poor Gary still packs a mean whallop. You dead. Thanks for playing." '''Warning:''' Needless to say, this kills you.
**(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - "Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!"
*'''"kill _____"'''
**'''"flies"''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - "Those flies and that horse's butt have a symbiotic relationship. You have no right to disrupt that."
**'''"jhonka"''' (after he's outside) - "No way! Jhonka's are born scrappers. He may be little, but he'll crawl ya."
**'''"kerrek"'''
***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is present and you do not have the bow and arrow) - "With what?! You got no weapons except your butter-knife wit."
***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the arrow, but not the bow) - "With what?! You gonna throw that arrow at him?"
***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the bow, but not the arrow) - "With what?! You got no arrow, fool!"
***(after the Kerrek is dead) - "Yeah. You smote the Kerrek. You deserve a trophy full of Mutton-ums."
***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is not there) - "Good idea. But you kinda need the actual Kerrek to be here for that to work."
**'''"trogdor"''' (while Trogdor's asleep, in his lair) - "Like how?"
*'''"knock"'''
**(at the woman's cottage) - " 'It's open,' says a female voice from inside. Um, it's NOT open, but you get her drift."
**(at the woman's cottage, after she leaves) - No one answers. That crazy lady took off. How ever will you get past this closed door now?
**(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - "A gravelly voice inside yells, 'JUST US CHICKENS' '''or:''' 'NO FOR RENT' '''or:''' 'I GIVE LAST YEAR!' '''or:''' 'GAVE AT OFFICE' '''or:''' 'GO WAY!'"
**(at the inn, while it's closed) - "No answer."
**(at the inn, after it's been opened) - "Just open it, man!"
**(at Naked Ned's cottage) - "You could knock until your knuckles bleed. Nobody's home."
*'''"Knock until knuckles bleed"'''
**(at Naked Ned's cottage)-"You knock for about 4 hours until your knuckles are raw and bloody. That was fun!"
**(type it again at Naked Ned's cottage)-"You done that already. A great time was had by all."

===L===
*'''"light lantern"'''
**(at the burninated trees before it is lit) - "With what? Your red-hot intellect?"
**(at the burninated trees after it is lit) - "Already lit, moron."
*'''"load"''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - "You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you."
*'''"look _____"'''
**'''(at anything, while hiding inside the bale of hay)''' - "Right now, you see a bunch of hay."
**'''(at something previously in your inventory but now gone)''' - "You used to have one, before the great item blight of 402. Check your INVENTORY to read about it."
**'''(at something currently in your inventory)''' - "You've totally got one of those! Check your INVENTORY to give'r a serious looksee."
**'''"arrow"''' (at the hidden glen) - "Somebody call a tree doctor. Them puppies are stuck in there like a, um, er ... stuck pig."
**'''"baby"''' (inside the woman's cottage while she has the baby) - "Peasant babies are pretty freaking adorable. This little guy's no exception."
**'''"bed"''' (in the inn) - "Is that just a fitted sheet over a slab of concrete?"
**'''"bell"''' (in the inn) - "Tis broked."
**'''"belt"''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - "Yecch. I wouldn't touch that unless it was, like, an important quest item or something."
**'''"berries"'''
***(at the west side of the lake) "Shut up."
***(outside the woman's cottage) - "Crunch berries maybe."
**'''"boat/dinghy"'''
***(at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - "Keep your eyes off my dinghy!"
***(at the fisherman's lake after he is gone) - "It was loaned out to the [[Fishing Challenge '91|Fishing Challenge videogame]]."
**'''"bone/skeleton/skull"''' (at the top of the cliff for the bone and skull and in Trogdor's outer sanctum for the skeleton) - "You can't be sure but you think those are dead person bones."
**'''"bush"''' (at the west side of the lake) - "Don't worry about that bush. Yeah, there's red berries on it but never you mind."
**'''"bushes"'''
***(outside the woman's cottage) - "You suspect they might be crunch berry bushes."
***(in the hidden glen) - "There's some thick 'ol bushes up in this hidden glen."
**'''"candle"''' (in the inn after getting a room) - "That candle's not at all on fire."
**'''"cave"'''
***(at the Jhonka's cave) - "Just a little cave. Calm down."
***(at the top of the cliff) - "The cave entrance beckons to you like a hot mutton sandwich might."
**'''"chair"''' (inside the woman's cottage) - "One of those self-rocking kind. Not bad for a brown-collar peasant-type. Must be trickle-down in action."
**'''"club/turkey leg"''' (at the Jhonka's cave when he's outside) - "Turkey leg or no, it looks like the Jhonka's been gnawing on it."
**'''"cottage"'''
***(at the yellow tree) - "You see a cottage in the distance. You hold your fingers up to one eye and pretend to squash it."
***(outside Naked Ned's cottage) - "A run-of-the-mill, non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy."
***(outside the woman's cottage) - "You had a cottage once. A lot like this one. *sniff* Trogdor will pay!"
***(at your burninated cottage) - "All your baubles and trinkets, your flasks and scrolls, your goblets and staffs! BURNINATED!!"
**'''"crank"'''
***(at the well before putting pebbles in the bucket) - "It looks rusted in place."
***(at the well after putting pebbles in the bucket) - "That is a bonafide crank. It seems to work now."
**'''"curtain/beads"''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - "That thing's awesome. You always wanted one for your dorm room but your roommate was a total drag and said no."
**'''"desk"'''
***(at the archery range) - "It says 'archery' on it. My wife's drunk."
***(inside the inn) - "There's a broken bell and a piece of parchment on there."
**'''"door"'''
***(outside the inn) - "Just a door. A door with a note on it."
***(in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - "A wicked beaded curtain hangs in the doorway."
***(outside the woman's cottage) - "Listen to you, "look door" What kinda gaming is that? It's a door and it's closed."
**'''"feed"''' (inside the woman's cottage) - "Cool Ranch. Your old favorite."
**'''"fence"'''
***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - "A particularly rickety peasant-issue fence. Trogdor uses bits of these as toothpicks."
***(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - "It's got a big ol' hole in it. For walking through."
***(by haystack/Jhonka's cottage/Naked Ned's cottage) - "A standard peasant fence. Trogdor makes milk's meat outta these things."
***(at the hidden glen) - "Wow! There's a hole in it on THIS side too!"
**'''"flies"''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - "A cloud of buttflies fly around the horse's butt."
**'''"footprints/tracks"'''
***(when the Kerrek is present) - "It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!"
***(when the Kerrek is not present) - "If you weren't a simpleton you might think these were Kerrek prints. But since you are a simpleton, you just go, 'Yay! Piggies!' "
**'''"ground"''' - "Hey, it's your old fireproof map of Peasantry."
**'''"hay"'''
***(at the hay bale) - "It reminds you of a warm, safe place where as a child you'd hide."
***(inside the woman's cottage) - "Hay is for horses!"
**'''"hole"'''
***(at Naked Ned's cottage, before deploying baby) - "You peer into the tiny opening. The cottage appears to be empty."
***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after deploying baby) - "There is no baby here, but there's an open door on the other side of the room. If you could only get to it somehow!"
**'''"horse"''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - "This bag o' bones looks like he's headed for the glue factory. He's got the name 'Poor Gary' branded onto his hide."
**'''"in hay"''' (at the hay bale) - "You search and search through the haystack. Nope. No needles."
**'''"in well"''' (at the well) - "It's dark and welly in there. Smell like stank too."
**'''"inn"''' (outside the inn) - "Looks okay from out here. But do they have a free breakfast buffet?"
**'''"jhonka"''' (at the Jhonka's cottage when he's outside) - "The Jhonka is gray and grody. He's got a cromagnon forehead and jaw with a pair of wicked incisors. He sports an old loin-cheese cloth and carries either a big club or one of those roasted turkey legs you got at the Ren Fest."
**'''"kerrek"'''
***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - "It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!"
***(while he's decomposing) - "He dead. You didn't think he could have smelled any worse? Well, guess what: He smells worse."
***(when he's all bones) - "He dead. He wasn't fat, he was just big boned! Poor pig-man."
**'''"knight/man/dude/guy"''' (at the mountain pass) - "He looks way cooler than you."
**'''"lady/woman"'''
***(inside the woman's cottage, while she's still there) - "Typical pasty peasant woman, overbearing and judgemental. Obsessed with goods and land."
***(inside the woman's cottage, after she's gone) - "I can't believe you thought you had a chance with her!/Dork!"
**'''"lake"''' (at the fisherman's lake) - "Why it's half a lake."
**'''"lake/water"''' (at the lake with pebbles) - "It extends onto the next screen and has a sandy shore."
**'''"lantern"'''
***(while unlit; at the burninated trees) - "It's unlit at the moment. That fancy pants royal knight probably lights it on nights when Troggie's on the prowl."
***(while lit; at the burninated trees) - "It's lit! Musta been a Trogdor sighting tonight."
**'''"lightning"''' (at the top of the cliff) - "Scary. Like Auntie Gerelda's crow's feet."
**'''"man"''' (in the inn) - "He's an older peasant with big cotton swabs stuffed up his nose. Oh wait. Those are nose hairs. Grody."
**'''"man/guy/peasant/old guy/old man"''' (at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - "An older peasant sits silently in a boat with his line in the water."
**'''"ned"''' (at the wavy tree, when Naked Ned is peeking out) - "A fairly naked man is peeking out behind that tree."
**'''"openings"''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - "They're mysterious and out of reach. Like girls were to you in high school."
**'''"painting"''' (in the inn) - "It's a painting of dogs playing 'Magic: The Nerdening.'"
**'''"paper"'''
***(in the inn) - "It says, 'Note to self: Wave arms wildly!'"
***(at your burninated cottage) - "Hey, it's your old fireproof map to Peasantry."
**'''"pillow"'''
***(in the inn) - "If you sleep in that bed, you're NOT putting your head on that nasty pillow."
***(in the woman's cottage) - "Swedish foam. Your favorite."
**'''"pot"''' (in the inn after getting a room) - "It's full of horse grease. I guess that sounds useful."
**'''"rock"'''
***(by the stream) - "The ages have worn this rock down. It is a rock of ages. Still a-rollin."
***(at the mud patch) - "That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me."
***(at Naked Ned's cottage before removing it) - "There appears to be a loose stone towards the back of the cottage."
***(at Naked Ned's cottage after removing it) - "Some jerk removed a loose stone from the back of the cottage."
**'''"rug"''' (in the inn) - "Maybe that used to be a magic carpet. But it's sure a cat pee-stained carpet now."
**'''"sand"'''
***(at the fisherman's lake) - "One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty two... One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty three... Drat! You lost count again."
***(at the west side of the lake after getting the pebbles) - "Remember those pebbles on the beach? Man, those were good times."
**'''"shelf"''' (inside the woman's cottage) - "Nothing but a bag of chicken feed."
**'''"sign"'''
***(at the mountain pass) - "What that sign there? That sign says 'Trogdor.'"
***(outside the inn) - "If you can't read that sign, you need to quit playing this game."
**'''"stump"'''
***(at the burninated trees) - "NOT a good place to sit."
***(at Poor Gary's glen) - "You run out of ideas as to what to do next, and stare at the stump."
**'''"target"''' (at the archery range) - "Hey, they had those same targets at Peasant Scout Camp!"
**'''"tree"'''
***(at the burninated trees) - "Severely burninated. They could probably use some salve."
***(at the hay bale) - "It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown!"
***(at the hidden glen) - "Dude, and then the elf, like, totally climbed up it. It was awesome!"
***(at the wavy tree) - "It's weird and wavy."
***(at the well) - "That's one orange tree alright."
***(at the yellow tree) - "You're really hurtin' for puzzle solutions, huh?"
**'''"trees"''' (anywhere) - "You are an incredibly boring person."
**'''"trogdor"'''
***(in Trogdor's lair, while he's asleep) - "Holy crap! Trogdor's way bigger in person than he looks in most tapestries you've seen. All of the sudden, losing your cottage doesn't seem so bad anymore."
***(in Trogdor's lair, when he's awake) - "Trogdor is looming menacingly over you with a tiny wee sword stuck in his belly. He looks like he's gonna kill you really soon."
***(at mountain pass) - I know it's labeled 'Trogdor,' but it's really just a sign, silly. I mean, attack it if you want...
**'''"water"''' (by the stream) - Got a rock in it.
**'''"waterfall"''' (at the waterfall) - "Upon closer inspection, you discover it's not magical. That's just mist, not magic sparkles or anything."
**'''"well"''' (at the well) - "Pretty average. You're not a big well person. You're more into bridges. It does have a cute little bucket though. Your dad liked buckets. Oh, and there's a metal crank too. Meemaw loved cranks."
**'''"window"'''
***(outside the inn) - "Check it out! There's an INN in there."
***(inside the inn) - "Check it out! There's a Peasantry out there!"

===M===
*'''"make friends with kerrek"''' - "Look, it didn't work for Strongbad [sic] and it's not gonna work for you either." (As seen in [[for kids]])
*'''"make wish"''' (at the well) - "This isn't that kind of well. This is a plaguewater well."
*'''"map"''' (before you find the map; anywhere) - "We are neither confirming nor denying the presence of a map in this game, but irridisregardless, you don't have one."

===N===

===O===
*'''"open _____"'''
**'''"door"'''
***(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - "It's locked. With one o' them SCHLAGE deadbolts, too. Those things are hard core."
***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - "How? There's no knob."
***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - "It's already open. Since this is an adventure game we're gonna proffer you adventure yourself on in there."
***(at the inn, while it's closed) - "It's locked fast!"
***(inside the inn, before getting a room) - "'That's the pantry,' says the Innkeeper. 'Employees only.'"
**'''"drawer"'''
***(in Naked Ned's cottage when it's open) - "Yeah, totally! Except it's already open you moron."
***(in Naked Ned's cottage after getting the robe and closing the drawer) - "You already closed it, which was nice, and so we gave you some points. Let sleeping drawers lie."

===P===
*'''"party"''' (anywhere) - "You are part of the Whig party. They are making gangrene-awareness their number one campaign priority."
*'''"pet horse/poor gary"''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - "Aww, that's sweet. Poor Gary tries in vain to bite your arm off."
*'''"play game"''' (at the archery range, before saying "haldo" to Dongolev) - "The gallery's not open and you got no bow or arrows, Cupid."
*'''"pull/push door"''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) - "It doesn't budge, man."
*'''"put _____"'''
**'''"baby"''' (at the well) - "Where you wanna toss em?"
**'''"baby in well/bucket"''' (at the well, before getting the baby) - "Hmmmm... A baby, eh? You check your sundial. Babies-R-Us is probably closed by now."
**'''"baby in well"'''
***(after getting the sub) - "Li'l tyke seems to enjoy the ride, but - thin or not - we've got a plot to advance here."
***(at the well with the baby) - "Jeez man! At least put the poor little guy in the bucket! Give him a fighting chance!"
**'''"pebbles"''' - "Where you wanna toss em?"
**'''"pebbles in bucket"'''
***(at the well, when you don't have them) - "Find some pebbles first and you might have the makings of a good idea. About time."
***(after getting the maskus) - "We've already been through this exercise and it went pretty well, ya?"
**'''"pebbles in well"'''
***(at the well, when you have them) - "Then it'd be tough to get them back. You never go ANYWHERE without your rocks"
***(at the well, when you don't have them) - "Riiight, right. Which ones?"
*'''"[[pwd]]"''' - Prints on-screen your location as a (fake) directory.

===Q===
*'''"quit"''' - "Well fine Boring Sanders! Hope you saved your game cause it is OVER between us!" '''Warning:''' The game still quits.

===R===
*'''"ride horse/poor gary"''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - "Naw, snapping horse spines just doesn't seem as cool as it did in high school."
*'''"ring bell"''' (in the inn) - "Instead of ringing or dinging, it just goes DUNG."

===S===
*'''"save"''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - "You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you."
*'''"scare horse"''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before getting the mask) - "You tell Gary the "THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!" one but he doesn't act very scared. He's probably heard it before." '''or:''' "You tell Gary about how much cholesterol is in hay and how his arteries are probably all black and clogged. He shrugs it off." '''or:''' "You tell Gary the story about the kid who pops this big zit he has and all these baby spiders come out. It doesn't phase him."
*'''"sit on stump"''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - "Are you THAT bored?! Do some questing already!"
*'''"skip stones"''' (at the west side of the lake) - "You've always been terrible at skipping stones. And you're even worse at just plain throwing rocks in lakes. You decide to save yourself the embarrassment."
*'''"sleep"'''
**(inside the woman's cottage) - "That's probably how the first baby got here. Forget it."
**(in the inn while the man is there) - "You probably want to talk to that stinky old guy over there about that."
*'''"smell/sniff"''' (anywhere) - "Smells like a computer game."
*'''"swim"'''
**(at the rock in the river) - "Peasants can't swim. Like, it's illegal."
**(at the waterfall) - "That waterfall would probably churn you into one of those weight-gain protein smoothies."
**(at the west side of the lake) - "Not in this game, Swimmer [[Dan]]! In this game, you drown."

===T===
*'''"talk"'''
**(at the archery range, while away from or behind the desk) - "Why don't you saddle up to the front of the table there, cowboy?"
**(at the archery range, after beating the minigame) - "Go away!" says Dongolev. "We're arguing about who's hotter," adds Mendelev.
**(at wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- "You startled him and he disappears!"
*'''"talk ____"'''
**'''(someone not in the screen, inanimate, or nonexistent; anywhere)''' - "It's sad when you have to make up people to talk to."
**'''"baby"''' (inside the woman's cottage, before you get the baby) - "You say some cute, stupid stuff and the baby just blows snot bubbles."
**'''"gary"''' (at Poor Gary's glen when he's there) - "Your attempts at conversation are met with horse grunts and tail flaps. Which is better than you do at conversation with most people."
**'''"jhonka"''' (while inside the hay) - "Not now! You'll blow your cover!"
**'''"kerrek"''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - "Me llamo Julio,' you begin... It seems only to further anger the already temperamental Kerrek. That stupid 'Learn Kerrek in 3 Weeks' cassette did nothing for you!"
**'''"lady"''' (inside the woman's cottage after she's gone) - "You'd call out her name and let it ring through the empty room, enveloping you in sorrow, but you don't actually know her name."
**'''"Naked Ned"''' (at the wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- "'Never speak of this meeting!' says the nudie and he disapperars."
**'''"tree"''' (at the wavy tree) - "Trees can't talk but a breeze picks up and you swear the leaves whisper the words 'Naked Ned.' Weird."
**'''"trogdor"''' (in Trogdor's lair while he's asleep) - "You yell some choice expletives at Trogdor but he doesn't wake up. There's a cool echo, though."
**'''"well"''' (At the well) "You yell into the well and enjoy the echo. Keep in mind there are no stereos yet."
*'''"this sucks"''' (anywhere) - "Come now. Don't get discouraged."
*'''"throw _____"'''
**(anything but the feed; at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - " 'That isn't gonna work for bait!' the old man screams, at a needlessly harsh volume."
**(anything; when the fisherman is gone) - "You already fed the fish. Let's get moving, here, people!"
**'''"baby"'''
***(anywhere but the west side of the lake) - "Hmmm. Maybe try someplace else.
***(at the west side of the lake before getting the baby) - "I think you misread the walkthrough on GameFAQs. You gotta get the baby first."
***(at the west side of the lake after getting the soda) - "Baby Dashing is a little waterlogged from the toss, and you read his soft gurgling to mean that there's no more soda left."
***(anywhere without the baby) - "You don't even have two babies to rub together."
**'''"feed"'''
***(at the east side of the lake before getting the feed) - "You have nothing with which to do that...with."
***(at the east side of the lake after throwing the feed) - "You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!" (The repetition is probably just a goof.)
*'''"try"''' - (at Naked Ned's cottage) - "Okay, fine. You try to cut off your hard-earned extremities. It doesn't work. You dead. Thanks for nothing." '''Warning:''' You die.
*'''"turn crank"'''
**(at the well, on the other side of the screen) - "You got a short reach to match your short pants. Try standing closer to that crank."
**(at well, after you get the maskus) - {first time} "Down she goes! You could do this all day!" {second time} "The drama grips you, but the bucket is empty. On the bright side, you're getting a pretty sweet workout for your Deltoidus Rex muscles."

===U===
*'''"use/deploy baby"'''
**(at Naked Ned's hut, before getting the baby) - "Swell idea, but is you ain't my baby? I.e. you ain't got one?"
**(at Naked Ned's hut, before moving the stone) - "Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm."
**(at Naked Ned's hut, after the baby has left) - "Li'l P.B. has moved on, and the door seems to be open... I can't see why we'd go through this all over again."
*'''"use pebbles"''' (at the well) - "What do you propose to do with them? Discuss."

===V===

===W===
*'''"wake up trogdor"''' - "Troggie...", you murmur. "Troggie, wake up it's time for Burnination school." He's not budging."
*'''"wear _____"'''
**'''"belt"''' (after getting the belt) - "You're already wearing it. Too bad you smell like the trash barge off Peasant Isle."
**'''"mask"'''
***(anywhere but Poor Gary's glen) - "Not on this screen. You've got your image to think about. Actually, you might want to start deliberating on that right now."
***(in Poor Gary's glen after scaring him) - "Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!"
**'''"robe"'''
***(if the robe is not in your inventory) - "You don't have anything but your 'Scalding Lake' t-shirt. And pants. Forgot to mention the pants."
***(if you are already wearing the robe) - "You're already in the old skool robe. Represent."
*'''"what the f—"''' ''([[Swears|uncensored version]])'' (anywhere) - "Come now. Don't get discouraged."
*'''"where"''' (anywhere) - Tells you where you are.
*'''"why"''' (anywhere) - "I wish I knew."

===X===

===Y===
*"'''Yes'''" (to the Jhonka when he asks you about his riches)- "'I KILL YOU!!' screams the Jhonka. ''{The Jhonka clubs you to death}'' Club or turkey leg, the jhonka sure just beat you senseless with whatever he was holding. You dead. Thanks for playing!" '''Warning:''' Obviously, you will die.

===Z===

===Action Based===
'''Warning:''' All of the below will kill you.

*'''(Walk too close to the Kerrek)''' - ''{The Kerrek pounds your head into the ground}'' Your mom always told you not to take head poundings from strange Kerreks. And NOW looks what's happened. You dead. Thanks for playing.
*'''(Walk in the path of Dongelev's arrows)''' - ''{Dongolev shoots you in the head}'' That guy has no sense. He shot you. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Nice one, William Tell. You dead. Thanks for playing.
*'''(Leave the screen after putting the baby in the bucket)''' - Nice try. Ditch the baby at the bottom of the well, eh? Thought you'd be able to just walk away and it's nothing by mead and wenches from now on, huh? Well guess what? You dead. Thanks for playing.
*'''(Hit by rock or pterodactyl when climbing the cliff)''' - ''{You fall to the ground and lie in a heap}'' Oops! You climbed real bad. You knew that you were AVOIDING the rocks, right? Not collecting them. Anyways, nice try. You dead. Thanks for playing.
*'''(Walk too close to Trogdor while he's asleep)''' - ''{Trogdor burninates you without waking up}'' Yow. Looks like you got a little too close. You dead. Maybe next time don't get too close.

{{Peasant's Quest}}
[[Category:Peasant's Quest]] [[Category:Lists]]

Nighttime Driving Type Game

Free Bagels — Sun, 15 Jul 2007 20:35:34 GMT

Free Bagels: /* Glitches */ Red cars DO appear when exploiting this glitch. I just tried it.

[[Image:nightdriver.png|thumb|It's just a four minute drive away]]

'''Nighttime Driving Type Game''' is a game accessible only by clicking the "O" in [[Strong Bad's Message Bored]].

In this game, you must drive through oncoming traffic... at night! Move your car with the mouse.

==Easter Eggs==
[[Image:Nightime_egg.PNG|thumb|300px|Get out of my basement!]]

*If you beat {{film|Strong Bad}}'s high score of 50,000 points, you'll get a short cutscene where Strong Bad shows you that he's now gotten a new high score, exactly one point higher than yours. You can also access this by right-clicking and pressing "Play" when you lose on the Flash File.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, you beat my high score, huh? Well, I just finished the game. Check it out!
:''{Cut to the game on his television screen. His score is one point higher than yours.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, tough luck, man. I guess it's back to the drawing board for you!
:''{Cut back to Strong Bad.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Or, back to the Night Driving board... or, w— ''{yells}'' Get out of my basement!

==Fun Facts==
===Trivia===
*The scoring is as follows:
**Green Car - 100
**Red Car - 500
**Police Car - 500
**Drunk Driver - 1000
*The movement of the cars are as follows:
**Green Car - Takes up one lane and can go in any.
**Red Car - Always Takes up the middle lane, moves very fast.
**Police Car - Always takes up the middle and the right lane.
**Drunk Driver (truck) - Takes up one lane, swerves from the left lane to the right lane most of the time, but on occasion, goes from the right lane to the left.

===Remarks===

*It's not possible to get a score one point higher than another score, like Strong Bad says he did, considering that all point values are multiples of 100.

===Glitches===
[[Image:Nighttime_type_highscore.png|thumb|Two digits are cut off here.]]
*You still earn points for any vehicle that passes your wrecked vehicle.
*You can crash 2–3 times in rapid succession yet only lose one life (in other words, crashing, then immediately crashing again).
*The game sometimes loads data where the green cars always drive on the right side of the road (from your perspective), and the trucks swerve left, then right, meaning if you stay in the left lane, you'll never die. This is more likely to happen in the flash file.
*Right-click and unselect play for unlimited lives. When you run out of lives, your lives will show as "-" and you can keep playing. Select "play" again to get the "game over" screen.
*If you get over 100,000 points, the score will appear to reset to 10,000. This is due to the game only displaying the first five digits in the score; the counter still has the actual score stored.
**When you access the high-score Easter egg, if your score is over 100,000, Strong Bad's score will appear to be the same as yours due to this glitch.
*If you crash into another car, and a drunk driver is there, the drunk driver will crash even though you didn't hit it.

===Inside References===

*The source of the Easter egg is the [[Strong Bad's Room Main Page]], where he brags that he's got the high score of 50,000 points, and challenges you to beat it.
*The "Drunk Drivers" are examples of [[alcohol]].

===Real-World References===

*The game itself is based on the [[Atari 2600]] game "Night Driver", which in turn was based on the 1976 arcade game of the same name.
*Strong Bad beating the player's high score by one point when the player scores more than 50,000 point is a reference to the Marathon Man in The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time. The Marathon Man will challenge Link to a race from the Gerudo Valley to the Kokiri Forest and when Link finishes, the Marathon Man always beats him by one second.

==See Also==

*[[Strong Bad's Message Bored]]
*[[Armless Invaders]]
*[[The Cheat's Smoking Challenge]]

==External Links==

*[[HR:boredgames.html|Go to the Message Bored]] and click on the "O" in "Bored"
*[[HR:superbored.swf|View the Flash file for the Message Bored]]

[[Category:Games]]

Nighttime Driving Type Game

Free Bagels — Sun, 15 Jul 2007 20:29:19 GMT

Free Bagels: /* Trivia */ The drunk driver looks like a truck. At least, I think it does.

[[Image:nightdriver.png|thumb|It's just a four minute drive away]]

'''Nighttime Driving Type Game''' is a game accessible only by clicking the "O" in [[Strong Bad's Message Bored]].

In this game, you must drive through oncoming traffic... at night! Move your car with the mouse.

==Easter Eggs==
[[Image:Nightime_egg.PNG|thumb|300px|Get out of my basement!]]

*If you beat {{film|Strong Bad}}'s high score of 50,000 points, you'll get a short cutscene where Strong Bad shows you that he's now gotten a new high score, exactly one point higher than yours. You can also access this by right-clicking and pressing "Play" when you lose on the Flash File.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, you beat my high score, huh? Well, I just finished the game. Check it out!
:''{Cut to the game on his television screen. His score is one point higher than yours.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, tough luck, man. I guess it's back to the drawing board for you!
:''{Cut back to Strong Bad.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Or, back to the Night Driving board... or, w— ''{yells}'' Get out of my basement!

==Fun Facts==
===Trivia===
*The scoring is as follows:
*Green Car- 100
*Red Car- 500
*Police Car- 500
*Drunk Driver- 1000
*The movement of the cars are as follows:
*Green Car- Takes up one lane and can go in any.
*Red Car- Always Takes up the middle lane, moves very fast.
*Police Car- Always takes up the middle and the right lane.
*Drunk Driver(truck)- Takes up one lane, swerves from the left lane to the right lane most of the time, but on occasion, goes from the right lane to the left.

===Remarks===

*It's not possible to get a score one point higher than another score, like Strong Bad says he did, considering that all point values are multiples of 100.

===Glitches===
[[Image:Nighttime_type_highscore.png|thumb|Two digits are cut off here.]]
*You still earn points for any vehicle that passes your wrecked vehicle.
*You can crash 2–3 times in rapid succession yet only lose one life (in other words, crashing, then immediately crashing again).
*The game sometimes loads data where the green cars always drive on the right side of the road (from your perspective), and the trucks swerve left, then right, meaning if you stay in the left lane, you'll never die. This is more likely to happen in the flash file.
*Right-click and unselect play for unlimited lives. When you run out of lives, your lives will show as "-" and you can keep playing. Select "play" again to get the "game over" screen.
**While exploiting this glitch, no red cars will appear.
*If you get over 100,000 points, the score will appear to reset to 10,000. This is due to the game only displaying the first five digits in the score; the counter still has the actual score stored.
**When you access the high-score Easter egg, if your score is over 100,000, Strong Bad's score will appear to be the same as yours due to this glitch.
*If you crash into another car, and a drunk driver is there, the drunk driver will crash even though you didn't hit it.

===Inside References===

*The source of the Easter egg is the [[Strong Bad's Room Main Page]], where he brags that he's got the high score of 50,000 points, and challenges you to beat it.
*The "Drunk Drivers" are examples of [[alcohol]].

===Real-World References===

*The game itself is based on the [[Atari 2600]] game "Night Driver", which in turn was based on the 1976 arcade game of the same name.
*Strong Bad beating the player's high score by one point when the player scores more than 50,000 point is a reference to the Marathon Man in The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time. The Marathon Man will challenge Link to a race from the Gerudo Valley to the Kokiri Forest and when Link finishes, the Marathon Man always beats him by one second.

==See Also==

*[[Strong Bad's Message Bored]]
*[[Armless Invaders]]
*[[The Cheat's Smoking Challenge]]

==External Links==

*[[HR:boredgames.html|Go to the Message Bored]] and click on the "O" in "Bored"
*[[HR:superbored.swf|View the Flash file for the Message Bored]]

[[Category:Games]]

User:Free Bagels

Free Bagels — Sat, 07 Jul 2007 03:22:32 GMT

Free Bagels:

''"I'm sorry ma'am. Free Bagels just happened."'' -Strong Bad in [[4 Branches]]

You know what? Every time I try to be '''bold''' like you guys say it always gets delorted. So i guess I'll just have to not help the wiki in any way. You guys are just GREAT.

{{userboxtop}}
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{{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:qod 3 - strong sad.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user's favorite character is '''[[Strong Sad]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:qod 16 - stinkoman.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user's second favorite character is '''[[Stinkoman]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:pquesttrailer.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user's third favorite character is '''[[Trogdor]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#FF0000|mainbkgd=#8B0000|codebkgd=#DC143C|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:stinkoman20X6normal.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user loves to play '''[[Stinkoman 20X6|Stinkoman 20X6]]'''.}}
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{{userbox|border=#ADD8E6|mainbkgd=#FFFFFF|codebkgd=#E0FFFF|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:DndGreg.PNG|32px]]|msg=This user doesn't like his/her '''[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 9|style bitten]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF9900|codebkgd=#006600|codecolor=#66FFCC|code=[[Image:sbemail106.PNG|34px]]|msg=Looks like this user's [[dangeresque 3|'''gonna have to jump''']]!}}
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{{userbox|border=blue|mainbkgd=#CCCCCC|codebkgd=red|codecolor=white|code=[[Image:Less_than_b.JPG|43px]]|msg=This user is '''[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 12|less than B]]'''.}}
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{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#3333CD|codebkgd=#FFFFFF|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:homsar_shirt_logo_back.PNG|40px]]|msg=This user was '''[[interview|raised by a cup of coffee]]'''.}}
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|}

Teen Girl Squad Issue 13

Free Bagels — Sat, 23 Jun 2007 01:20:47 GMT

Free Bagels: /* Remarks */ Word balloons, anyone?

{{tgsnav|13|Teen_Girl_Squad_Issue_12|Issue 12|Teen_Girl_Squad_Issue_1|Issue 1}}
[[Image:Tgs13.png|thumb|"Don't let Timkins play my PSone!"]]

So and So is baby-sitting, but her friends interrupt.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Tompkins}}, [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Momkins|Momkins]], [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Timkins|Baby Timkins]], {{Film|So and So}}, {{Film|Arrow'd Guy}}, {{Film|Cheerleader}}, {{Film|What's Her Face}}, {{Film|The Ugly One}}, [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Buttcrack Plumber|Plumber]], [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Peacey P|Peacey P]], [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Olympic Man and Coach|Olympic Man]], [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Policemen|Policemen]]

'''Places:''' [[Teen Girl Squad Locations#Tompkins's House|Tompkins's house]], [[Teen Girl Squad Locations#Hotel Balcony|Hotel Balcony]]

'''Date:''' Monday, June 18th, 2007

'''Running Time:''' 3:25

'''Page Title:''' Bebe's Sitter's Kids!

==Transcript==
''{The toon opens with Tompkins playing his Game Boy with a silhouette of his mother waving to him. The Teen Girl Squad theme music plays.}''

'''TOMPKINS:''' Aww, peas Momkins. I don't need a babysitter.

''{Zoom out to reveal Momkins, a robot wearing cowboy boots and a hat and carrying a pickaxe, along with a baby.}''

'''TOMPKINS:''' I can watch baby Timkins while you go out prospecting for future ex-husbands.

'''MOMKINS:''' Whatevs little man. You can't even take care of your own virtual pet.

''{Cut to a closeup of the Game Boy screen, displaying a bloated pet and the text, "Food: 600%". Music stops}''

'''VIRTUAL PET:''' Please stop feeding me!

''{Music continues. Tompkins begins mashing the buttons on the Game Boy.}''

'''TOMPKINS:''' Teh heh heh heh heh.

''{Cut to Momkins standing next to the front door, which has a large, wrinkly face on it}''

'''FRONT DOOR:''' Ding dong. Ding dong, yo.

''{The door opens to reveal So and So, with fangs.}''

'''SO AND SO:''' Hello Mrs. Tompkinsrobotmomerson. I know I'm 3 hours early, but I wanted to...

'''MOMKINS:''' Listen, I'll be at a place until a time. My cell phone number is some numbers. The baby needs stuff. What's poison control? Punch Tompkins in the gut. Good luck.

''{Momkins rushes out the door with a crazed look on her face and her tongue hanging out of her mouth. Her hat flies off and So and So's hair is disheveled as she leaves.}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' She gone!

''{Cut to So and So speaking to Tompkins, who is playing his Game Boy next to a clock. The clock reads 5:03}''

'''SO AND SO:''' ''{pointing to her watch}'' Alright Tompkins, it is WAY past your bedtime.

'''TOMPKINS:''' ''{pointing at a flustered So and So}'' Listen babysit, I don't need to be babysat. I'll be in my room reorganizing my trenchcoats.

''{As Tompkins leaves, a giant baby that resembles the Arrow'd Guy lands on and crushes him. The music stops.}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' BABY SAT!

'''TOMPKINS:''' Don't let Timkins play my PSone!!!!!

''{Cut to a Teen Girl Squad title screen, featuring Cheerleader (wearing a dress labeled "Ms. Thang"), The Ugly One, and What's Her Face smashing through a wall. "issue 13" and "by: strong bad" appear in the corners. The theme music plays.}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' Teen Girl Squad!!! Cheerleader! ''{$15/hour}'' What's Her Face! ''{$4.75/hour}'' The Ugly One! ''{plain yogurt/hour}''

''{Cut to So and So speaking to the other girls next to the smashed wall}''

'''SO AND SO:''' Not now, you guys. I'm babysitting.

''{Close up on Cheerleader}''

'''CHEERLEADER:''' Oh, we know how to babysit... ''{grows hypnotic eyes and fangs, and pulls out a cell phone and several volumes of "Dem Boys"}'' I'll call EACH AND EVERY BOY!!

''{Cut to What's Her Face}''

'''WHAT'S HER FACE:''' I'll eat all their food!

''{Cut to The Ugly One, wearing a crown and a ruffled collar, holding a remote}''

'''THE UGLY ONE:''' Just call me the queen of pay-per-view! ''{throws off the crown and collar and pushes the remote buttons. The text "t.a.p.s." appears every time the buttons are pushed}'' I think Ola Toya is fighting Camptown Jr. at Caesar's tonight!

''{Cut back to shot of So and So talking to Cheerleader (holding the cell phone), What's Her Face and The Ugly One (holding the remote)}''

'''SO AND SO:''' SHHH! Keep it down! The baby is studying for the SAT.

''{Cut to baby Timkins, under a pile of four books labeled "babySAT"}''

'''TIMKINS:''' Goo goo is ga-ga. Wah wah is ga-ga. ''{raises finger}'' Are all goo goos wah wahs?

''{Cut to an annoyed Cheerleader, holding her cell phone. Her dress now reads "The future Ms. Thang".}''

'''CHEERLEADER:''' Dag! None of my regulars are picking up! Let's see who on my B-list!

''{The phone rings, and the screen splits to show a plumber answering the call on a plunger.}''

'''PLUMBER:''' Uh, Buttcrack Plumbing!

'''CHEERLEADER:''' Hi Randy! I'm babysittin' tonight. Wanna come over and sneak in through the back window?

'''PLUMBER:''' And this is for a how many gallon toilet, ma'am?

'''CHEERLEADER:''' Bring all your hot friends... they've got two pantries!!!

''{A toilet with a beret, a mustache, a goatee, and a loaf of french bread crushes Cheerleader with a plunger.}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' EAU DE TOiLETTE!

'''CHEERLEADER:''' So dignified!

''{Cut to What's Her Face standing between the two pantries}''

'''WHAT'S HER FACE:''' Wow! 2 pantries! I'll have me a diet soda I s'pose.

''{So and So enters, livid with a giant mouth and fangs.}''

'''SO AND SO:''' STOP! How many of those have you had?!?!

'''WHAT'S HER FACE:''' ''{annoyed}'' Uh, negative one sip.

''{So and So holds up a textbook entitled, "<s>urban legends</s> i mean health class"}''

'''SO AND SO:''' Don't you remember health class? You'll microwave the baby!!

'''WHAT'S HER FACE:''' ''{holding up a "Diet Brown" can}'' This is Diet Brown, not PCP.

''{The Ugly One slides into the room. What's Her Face and So and So look surprised.}''

'''THE UGLY ONE:''' Did somebody say Peacey P? I LOVES the Peacey P!

''{Cut to Peacey P, wearing a jersey labeled "☮y P" ("[Peace symbol]y P"), standing with Olympic Man (with a blurred jersey)}''

'''PEACEY P:''' Crample-o stow wha clamminuh whaow. My new album drop next sursdai. Ya'll biscuitheads.

''{The Ugly One enters with a ☮y ([Peace symbol]y) necklace, and a pencil and notepad.}''

'''THE UGLY ONE:''' Can a sista get an autograph?

''{Olympic Man dangles The Ugly One off a balcony}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' DANGLED OFF A HOTEL BALCONY'D!!

'''THE UGLY ONE:''' That's it?

''{Zoom out as The Ugly One is dropped from the balcony into a "bayonet tailgate party"}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' Uh, and then DROPPED FROM SAID HOTEL BALCONY'D!!

'''THE UGLY ONE:''' That's better!

''{Cut to So and So holding a dirty diaper and yelling at baby Timkins}''

'''SO AND SO:''' What kinda dirty diaper is this?! I told you to alphabetize this stuff!

''{Cut to Front Door. A surprised So and So is leaning in, still holding the diaper}''

'''FRONT DOOR:''' BANG! BANG! BANG!

'''THE POLICE:''' ''{from behind the door}'' Open up! It's the police!

''{Cut to a terrified So and So jumping in the air, dropping the diaper}''

'''SO AND SO:''' AHH! THE POPO! I can't do another nickel!

''{So and So jumps into the kitchen sink as background music begins to play.}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' GARBAGE DISPOSAL, 

''{Cut to a shot of the garbage disposal in the sink, with evil eyes and fangs}''

WHAT A WAY TO GO! 

''{Cut to a grinning So and So in the garbage disposal, dancing with a plate, a spoon, a piece of broccoli and a carrot.}''

GARBAGE DISPOSAL, 

''{All but So and So's arm disappears}''

MEET SO AND SO!

''{So and So's arm disappears. The plate, spoon, broccoli and carrot look surprised. Music stops and is replaced by the theme music. Cut to the Front Door, where What's Her Face has let two policemen into the house.}''

'''WHAT'S HER FACE:''' Can I help you gentlemen?

'''POLICEMAN 1:''' Uh, yes, ma'am. We got a report of us wanting to watch the Ola Toya fight. You mind if we investigate?

'''POLICEMAN 2:''' ''{holding up a packet labeled "Snack Mix"}'' I brought snack mix.

''{Cut to a "confidential" envelope out of which three game cards are removed.}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' The Snak Mix, in Tompkins' Parlor, WITH THE PRETZEL STICK!

''{Cut to a life-sized Snak Mix bag with a monocle, who clubs What's Her Face with a pretzel stick}''

'''WHAT'S HER FACE:''' OW! MY STYLE! (or lack thereof)

''{Cut to Momkins, the two policemen, and baby Timkins sitting on a couch watching TV}''

'''TV ANNOUNCER:''' ...anuddah vicious right!!!

'''POLICEMAN 1:''' I need to put an APB out on some microwave popcorn.

'''POLICEMAN 2:''' ''{looking at Momkins}'' I'd like to report a very good-looking robot prospector.

'''MOMKINS:''' Awww, shush!

''{Brief pause. The music stops}''

'''TIMKINS:''' ''{pointing at Policeman 1}'' You're not my real father!

''{Cut to the usual "It's over!" screen}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' It's over!

==Easter Eggs==
[[Image:Deliberance.PNG|thumb|Drops Next Sursdai!]]
*Click on the "O" at the end to see a promo for Peacey P's new album.
:''{The Crample-O Stow Records logo appears. The logo is a gold hand making a C shape in a gold circle. The logo shines a few times. Hip hop music plays in the background}''
:'''ANNOUNCER:''' Crample-O Stow Records presents...
:''{Peacey P's album appears}''
:'''ANNOUNCER:''' ..."Deliberance", the new album from Peacey P...
:''{As the announcer says the following words, they appear in yellow zig-zags}''
:'''ANNOUNCER:''' ...featuring: Large Craig, featuring: The Overripe MC, featuring: Tenerence Love, featuring: Akryllix & 3rd Lung, featuring: Peacey P!
:'''PEACEY P:''' I'm a guest star on my own album, ya'll biscuitheads!
:''{The words "Drops Next Sursdai!" appear in a red oval at the bottom. Music fades.}''

==Fun Facts==

===Explanations===
*[[Wikipedia:Phencyclidine|PCP]], also known as angel dust, is a recreational [[drug]].
*''[[Wikipedia:Perfume|Eau de Toilette]]'' is [[French]] for a light, low concentrate perfume. "Toilet(te)" is used in an obsolete sense in both English and French to refer to personal grooming, the same sense as "toiletry".
*APB stands for [[Wikipedia:all points bulletin|all points bulletin]], a broadcast issued from one law enforcement agency to another, typically containing information about a wanted suspect.
*The [[Wikipedia:SAT|SAT Reasoning Test]] is a test that is frequently taken prior to entry into college in the United States.
**Timkins's line "Goo goo is ga-ga. Wah wah is ga-ga. Are all goo goos wah wahs?" is a [[Wikipedia:Syllogism|syllogism]] of the form "All X are Y. All Z are Y. Are all X Z?" (the correct answer is "not necessarily"). Syllogisms were previously used on the SAT, but were removed in the new edition of the SAT.
*A "nickel" is slang for a five-year prison sentence.
*Olympic Man's jersey is blurred because logos, trademarked designs, and certain words on clothing are often obscured by the producers of visual media (usually television or music videos) when they don't want the logos, designs, or words visible in the final product.

===Trivia===
*This is the first Teen Girl Squad issue to use a [[Wikipedia:Cold open|cold open]] instead of starting immediately with the opening title sequence.
*This is the first Teen Girl Squad issue since [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 7|issue 7]] in which Strong Bad does not work a variation of himself into the comic.

===Remarks===
*The '2 pantries' are mirror images of one another.
*When So-and-So yells "Ah! The popo!" It's not in a word balloon, but her next line is.

===Goofs===
*The "Loading" frames are not rounded at the corners.
*Tompkins is misspelled as "Tomkins" on the [[TV Time Toons Menu|Toons Menu]] description. (See [[#Fixed Goofs|below.]])
*Once the police officer starts talking to What's Her Face, a line appears near the door-knob.

===Fixed Goofs===
*Tompkins's name was misspelled as "Tomkins" through the entire toon, except in the Snack Mix sequence ("Tompkins' Parlor").
*When Cheerleader was telling the plumber to sneak in through the back window, the text read "the through," while she said "through the."

===Inside References===
*When Tompkins' mom answers the door, So and So has [[fangs]].
*What's Her Face comments about the loss of her [[style]].
*When Tompkins pushes the buttons on his [[Nintendo|Game Boy]] to feed his virtual pet, the text [[Mashing|"m.a.s.h."]] appears.
*So and So saying "I can't do another nickel!" is in reference to [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 11]] when So and So was in jail for shoplifting.
*Tompkins's mom's name ends with [[Names ending in -erson|-erson]].
*This issue contains several words or phrases ending in [['d]].
*"Deliberance" is a [[portmanteau]].

===Real-World References===
*Tompkins's virtual pet resembles a [[Wikipedia:Tamagotchi|Tamagotchi]].
*Peacey P's name resembles either [[Wikipedia:Eazy E|Eazy E]] or [[Wikipedia:Percee P|Percee P]], and his voice and singing style are very similar to [[Wikipedia:Snoop Dogg|Snoop Dogg]].
*So and So's line "You'll microwave the baby!!" and the book of urban legends she is holding reference the urban legend of a stoned babysitter [[Snopes:horrors/drugs/babysitter.asp|mistaking a baby for a roast]], and accidentally putting it in the oven (or microwave, in some versions).
*The lines about the Snack Mix prior to What's Her Face's demise are based on the board game [[Wikipedia:Cluedo|Clue]]. The picture of the Snack Mix on the card resembles Clue character [[Wikipedia:Cluedo_characters|Colonel Mustard]] .
*The title of the short is a reference to comedian [[Wikipedia:Robin Harris|Robin Harris's]] "Bébé's Kids" stand-up comedy act. After his death, his routine was adapted into a movie, also called [[Wikipedia:Bebe's Kids|"Bébé's Kids"]], the first animated feature with a majority African cast.
*"Ding dong. Ding dong, yo." is a memorable line from the video for [[Wikipedia:Fat (song)|"Fat"]] by [[Wikipedia:"Weird Al" Yankovic|"Weird Al" Yankovic]].
*Dangling The Ugly One over the balcony is a reference to [[Wikipedia:Vanilla Ice|Vanilla Ice's]] claim that rap record producer [[Wikipedia:Suge Knight|Marion "Suge" Knight]] hung him up upside down on a hotel balcony in order to get Vanilla Ice to turn over his royalties. This relates to the rapper Peacey P shown earlier in the episode.
*The [[Wikipedia:PlayStation#PSone|PSOne]] is a smaller and redesigned version of the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation|PlayStation]] video game console, released by [[Wikipedia:Sony Computer Entertainment|Sony Computer Entertainment]] in 2000.
*"Ola Toya is fighting Camptown Jr. at Caesar's tonight" is a reference to the [[Wikipedia:De_La_Hoya-Mayweather|De La Hoya-Mayweather Jr. Fight]] at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas in May 2007.
*[[Wikipedia:Harrah's Entertainment#Caesars brand|Caesars]] is a casino brand owned by [[Wikipedia:Harrah's Entertainment|Harrah's Entertainment]].

==External Links==
*[[HR:tgs13.html|watch "Teen Girl Squad Issue 13"]]
*[[HR:tgs13.swf|view the Flash file for "Teen Girl Squad Issue 13"]]
*[[Forum:11698|forum thread re: "Teen Girl Squad Issue 13"]]

{{Teen Girl Squad}}

[[Category:Teen Girl Squad]]

Teen Girl Squad Issue 13

Free Bagels — Sat, 23 Jun 2007 01:19:10 GMT

Free Bagels: /* Transcript */ Yay for lowercase i's!

{{tgsnav|13|Teen_Girl_Squad_Issue_12|Issue 12|Teen_Girl_Squad_Issue_1|Issue 1}}
[[Image:Tgs13.png|thumb|"Don't let Timkins play my PSone!"]]

So and So is baby-sitting, but her friends interrupt.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Tompkins}}, [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Momkins|Momkins]], [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Timkins|Baby Timkins]], {{Film|So and So}}, {{Film|Arrow'd Guy}}, {{Film|Cheerleader}}, {{Film|What's Her Face}}, {{Film|The Ugly One}}, [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Buttcrack Plumber|Plumber]], [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Peacey P|Peacey P]], [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Olympic Man and Coach|Olympic Man]], [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Policemen|Policemen]]

'''Places:''' [[Teen Girl Squad Locations#Tompkins's House|Tompkins's house]], [[Teen Girl Squad Locations#Hotel Balcony|Hotel Balcony]]

'''Date:''' Monday, June 18th, 2007

'''Running Time:''' 3:25

'''Page Title:''' Bebe's Sitter's Kids!

==Transcript==
''{The toon opens with Tompkins playing his Game Boy with a silhouette of his mother waving to him. The Teen Girl Squad theme music plays.}''

'''TOMPKINS:''' Aww, peas Momkins. I don't need a babysitter.

''{Zoom out to reveal Momkins, a robot wearing cowboy boots and a hat and carrying a pickaxe, along with a baby.}''

'''TOMPKINS:''' I can watch baby Timkins while you go out prospecting for future ex-husbands.

'''MOMKINS:''' Whatevs little man. You can't even take care of your own virtual pet.

''{Cut to a closeup of the Game Boy screen, displaying a bloated pet and the text, "Food: 600%". Music stops}''

'''VIRTUAL PET:''' Please stop feeding me!

''{Music continues. Tompkins begins mashing the buttons on the Game Boy.}''

'''TOMPKINS:''' Teh heh heh heh heh.

''{Cut to Momkins standing next to the front door, which has a large, wrinkly face on it}''

'''FRONT DOOR:''' Ding dong. Ding dong, yo.

''{The door opens to reveal So and So, with fangs.}''

'''SO AND SO:''' Hello Mrs. Tompkinsrobotmomerson. I know I'm 3 hours early, but I wanted to...

'''MOMKINS:''' Listen, I'll be at a place until a time. My cell phone number is some numbers. The baby needs stuff. What's poison control? Punch Tompkins in the gut. Good luck.

''{Momkins rushes out the door with a crazed look on her face and her tongue hanging out of her mouth. Her hat flies off and So and So's hair is disheveled as she leaves.}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' She gone!

''{Cut to So and So speaking to Tompkins, who is playing his Game Boy next to a clock. The clock reads 5:03}''

'''SO AND SO:''' ''{pointing to her watch}'' Alright Tompkins, it is WAY past your bedtime.

'''TOMPKINS:''' ''{pointing at a flustered So and So}'' Listen babysit, I don't need to be babysat. I'll be in my room reorganizing my trenchcoats.

''{As Tompkins leaves, a giant baby that resembles the Arrow'd Guy lands on and crushes him. The music stops.}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' BABY SAT!

'''TOMPKINS:''' Don't let Timkins play my PSone!!!!!

''{Cut to a Teen Girl Squad title screen, featuring Cheerleader (wearing a dress labeled "Ms. Thang"), The Ugly One, and What's Her Face smashing through a wall. "issue 13" and "by: strong bad" appear in the corners. The theme music plays.}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' Teen Girl Squad!!! Cheerleader! ''{$15/hour}'' What's Her Face! ''{$4.75/hour}'' The Ugly One! ''{plain yogurt/hour}''

''{Cut to So and So speaking to the other girls next to the smashed wall}''

'''SO AND SO:''' Not now, you guys. I'm babysitting.

''{Close up on Cheerleader}''

'''CHEERLEADER:''' Oh, we know how to babysit... ''{grows hypnotic eyes and fangs, and pulls out a cell phone and several volumes of "Dem Boys"}'' I'll call EACH AND EVERY BOY!!

''{Cut to What's Her Face}''

'''WHAT'S HER FACE:''' I'll eat all their food!

''{Cut to The Ugly One, wearing a crown and a ruffled collar, holding a remote}''

'''THE UGLY ONE:''' Just call me the queen of pay-per-view! ''{throws off the crown and collar and pushes the remote buttons. The text "t.a.p.s." appears every time the buttons are pushed}'' I think Ola Toya is fighting Camptown Jr. at Caesar's tonight!

''{Cut back to shot of So and So talking to Cheerleader (holding the cell phone), What's Her Face and The Ugly One (holding the remote)}''

'''SO AND SO:''' SHHH! Keep it down! The baby is studying for the SAT.

''{Cut to baby Timkins, under a pile of four books labeled "babySAT"}''

'''TIMKINS:''' Goo goo is ga-ga. Wah wah is ga-ga. ''{raises finger}'' Are all goo goos wah wahs?

''{Cut to an annoyed Cheerleader, holding her cell phone. Her dress now reads "The future Ms. Thang".}''

'''CHEERLEADER:''' Dag! None of my regulars are picking up! Let's see who on my B-list!

''{The phone rings, and the screen splits to show a plumber answering the call on a plunger.}''

'''PLUMBER:''' Uh, Buttcrack Plumbing!

'''CHEERLEADER:''' Hi Randy! I'm babysittin' tonight. Wanna come over and sneak in through the back window?

'''PLUMBER:''' And this is for a how many gallon toilet, ma'am?

'''CHEERLEADER:''' Bring all your hot friends... they've got two pantries!!!

''{A toilet with a beret, a mustache, a goatee, and a loaf of french bread crushes Cheerleader with a plunger.}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' EAU DE TOiLETTE!

'''CHEERLEADER:''' So dignified!

''{Cut to What's Her Face standing between the two pantries}''

'''WHAT'S HER FACE:''' Wow! 2 pantries! I'll have me a diet soda I s'pose.

''{So and So enters, livid with a giant mouth and fangs.}''

'''SO AND SO:''' STOP! How many of those have you had?!?!

'''WHAT'S HER FACE:''' ''{annoyed}'' Uh, negative one sip.

''{So and So holds up a textbook entitled, "<s>urban legends</s> i mean health class"}''

'''SO AND SO:''' Don't you remember health class? You'll microwave the baby!!

'''WHAT'S HER FACE:''' ''{holding up a "Diet Brown" can}'' This is Diet Brown, not PCP.

''{The Ugly One slides into the room. What's Her Face and So and So look surprised.}''

'''THE UGLY ONE:''' Did somebody say Peacey P? I LOVES the Peacey P!

''{Cut to Peacey P, wearing a jersey labeled "☮y P" ("[Peace symbol]y P"), standing with Olympic Man (with a blurred jersey)}''

'''PEACEY P:''' Crample-o stow wha clamminuh whaow. My new album drop next sursdai. Ya'll biscuitheads.

''{The Ugly One enters with a ☮y ([Peace symbol]y) necklace, and a pencil and notepad.}''

'''THE UGLY ONE:''' Can a sista get an autograph?

''{Olympic Man dangles The Ugly One off a balcony}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' DANGLED OFF A HOTEL BALCONY'D!!

'''THE UGLY ONE:''' That's it?

''{Zoom out as The Ugly One is dropped from the balcony into a "bayonet tailgate party"}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' Uh, and then DROPPED FROM SAiD HOTEL BALCONY'D!!

'''THE UGLY ONE:''' That's better!

''{Cut to So and So holding a dirty diaper and yelling at baby Timkins}''

'''SO AND SO:''' What kinda dirty diaper is this?! I told you to alphabetize this stuff!

''{Cut to Front Door. A surprised So and So is leaning in, still holding the diaper}''

'''FRONT DOOR:''' BANG! BANG! BANG!

'''THE POLICE:''' ''{from behind the door}'' Open up! It's the police!

''{Cut to a terrified So and So jumping in the air, dropping the diaper}''

'''SO AND SO:''' AHH! THE POPO! I can't do another nickel!

''{So and So jumps into the kitchen sink as background music begins to play.}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' GARBAGE DiSPOSAL, 

''{Cut to a shot of the garbage disposal in the sink, with evil eyes and fangs}''

WHAT A WAY TO GO! 

''{Cut to a grinning So and So in the garbage disposal, dancing with a plate, a spoon, a piece of broccoli and a carrot.}''

GARBAGE DiSPOSAL, 

''{All but So and So's arm disappears}''

MEET SO AND SO!

''{So and So's arm disappears. The plate, spoon, broccoli and carrot look surprised. Music stops and is replaced by the theme music. Cut to the Front Door, where What's Her Face has let two policemen into the house.}''

'''WHAT'S HER FACE:''' Can I help you gentlemen?

'''POLICEMAN 1:''' Uh, yes, ma'am. We got a report of us wanting to watch the Ola Toya fight. You mind if we investigate?

'''POLICEMAN 2:''' ''{holding up a packet labeled "Snack Mix"}'' I brought snack mix.

''{Cut to a "confidential" envelope out of which three game cards are removed.}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' The Snak Mix, in Tompkins' Parlor, WITH THE PRETZEL STICK!

''{Cut to a life-sized Snak Mix bag with a monocle, who clubs What's Her Face with a pretzel stick}''

'''WHAT'S HER FACE:''' OW! MY STYLE! (or lack thereof)

''{Cut to Momkins, the two policemen, and baby Timkins sitting on a couch watching TV}''

'''TV ANNOUNCER:''' ...anuddah vicious right!!!

'''POLICEMAN 1:''' I need to put an APB out on some microwave popcorn.

'''POLICEMAN 2:''' ''{looking at Momkins}'' I'd like to report a very good-looking robot prospector.

'''MOMKINS:''' Awww, shush!

''{Brief pause. The music stops}''

'''TIMKINS:''' ''{pointing at Policeman 1}'' You're not my real father!

''{Cut to the usual "It's over!" screen}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' It's over!

==Easter Eggs==
[[Image:Deliberance.PNG|thumb|Drops Next Sursdai!]]
*Click on the "O" at the end to see a promo for Peacey P's new album.
:''{The Crample-O Stow Records logo appears. The logo is a gold hand making a C shape in a gold circle. The logo shines a few times. Hip hop music plays in the background}''
:'''ANNOUNCER:''' Crample-O Stow Records presents...
:''{Peacey P's album appears}''
:'''ANNOUNCER:''' ..."Deliberance", the new album from Peacey P...
:''{As the announcer says the following words, they appear in yellow zig-zags}''
:'''ANNOUNCER:''' ...featuring: Large Craig, featuring: The Overripe MC, featuring: Tenerence Love, featuring: Akryllix & 3rd Lung, featuring: Peacey P!
:'''PEACEY P:''' I'm a guest star on my own album, ya'll biscuitheads!
:''{The words "Drops Next Sursdai!" appear in a red oval at the bottom. Music fades.}''

==Fun Facts==

===Explanations===
*[[Wikipedia:Phencyclidine|PCP]], also known as angel dust, is a recreational [[drug]].
*''[[Wikipedia:Perfume|Eau de Toilette]]'' is [[French]] for a light, low concentrate perfume. "Toilet(te)" is used in an obsolete sense in both English and French to refer to personal grooming, the same sense as "toiletry".
*APB stands for [[Wikipedia:all points bulletin|all points bulletin]], a broadcast issued from one law enforcement agency to another, typically containing information about a wanted suspect.
*The [[Wikipedia:SAT|SAT Reasoning Test]] is a test that is frequently taken prior to entry into college in the United States.
**Timkins's line "Goo goo is ga-ga. Wah wah is ga-ga. Are all goo goos wah wahs?" is a [[Wikipedia:Syllogism|syllogism]] of the form "All X are Y. All Z are Y. Are all X Z?" (the correct answer is "not necessarily"). Syllogisms were previously used on the SAT, but were removed in the new edition of the SAT.
*A "nickel" is slang for a five-year prison sentence.
*Olympic Man's jersey is blurred because logos, trademarked designs, and certain words on clothing are often obscured by the producers of visual media (usually television or music videos) when they don't want the logos, designs, or words visible in the final product.

===Trivia===
*This is the first Teen Girl Squad issue to use a [[Wikipedia:Cold open|cold open]] instead of starting immediately with the opening title sequence.
*This is the first Teen Girl Squad issue since [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 7|issue 7]] in which Strong Bad does not work a variation of himself into the comic.

===Remarks===
*The '2 pantries' are mirror images of one another.

===Goofs===
*The "Loading" frames are not rounded at the corners.
*Tompkins is misspelled as "Tomkins" on the [[TV Time Toons Menu|Toons Menu]] description. (See [[#Fixed Goofs|below.]])
*Once the police officer starts talking to What's Her Face, a line appears near the door-knob.

===Fixed Goofs===
*Tompkins's name was misspelled as "Tomkins" through the entire toon, except in the Snack Mix sequence ("Tompkins' Parlor").
*When Cheerleader was telling the plumber to sneak in through the back window, the text read "the through," while she said "through the."

===Inside References===
*When Tompkins' mom answers the door, So and So has [[fangs]].
*What's Her Face comments about the loss of her [[style]].
*When Tompkins pushes the buttons on his [[Nintendo|Game Boy]] to feed his virtual pet, the text [[Mashing|"m.a.s.h."]] appears.
*So and So saying "I can't do another nickel!" is in reference to [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 11]] when So and So was in jail for shoplifting.
*Tompkins's mom's name ends with [[Names ending in -erson|-erson]].
*This issue contains several words or phrases ending in [['d]].
*"Deliberance" is a [[portmanteau]].

===Real-World References===
*Tompkins's virtual pet resembles a [[Wikipedia:Tamagotchi|Tamagotchi]].
*Peacey P's name resembles either [[Wikipedia:Eazy E|Eazy E]] or [[Wikipedia:Percee P|Percee P]], and his voice and singing style are very similar to [[Wikipedia:Snoop Dogg|Snoop Dogg]].
*So and So's line "You'll microwave the baby!!" and the book of urban legends she is holding reference the urban legend of a stoned babysitter [[Snopes:horrors/drugs/babysitter.asp|mistaking a baby for a roast]], and accidentally putting it in the oven (or microwave, in some versions).
*The lines about the Snack Mix prior to What's Her Face's demise are based on the board game [[Wikipedia:Cluedo|Clue]]. The picture of the Snack Mix on the card resembles Clue character [[Wikipedia:Cluedo_characters|Colonel Mustard]] .
*The title of the short is a reference to comedian [[Wikipedia:Robin Harris|Robin Harris's]] "Bébé's Kids" stand-up comedy act. After his death, his routine was adapted into a movie, also called [[Wikipedia:Bebe's Kids|"Bébé's Kids"]], the first animated feature with a majority African cast.
*"Ding dong. Ding dong, yo." is a memorable line from the video for [[Wikipedia:Fat (song)|"Fat"]] by [[Wikipedia:"Weird Al" Yankovic|"Weird Al" Yankovic]].
*Dangling The Ugly One over the balcony is a reference to [[Wikipedia:Vanilla Ice|Vanilla Ice's]] claim that rap record producer [[Wikipedia:Suge Knight|Marion "Suge" Knight]] hung him up upside down on a hotel balcony in order to get Vanilla Ice to turn over his royalties. This relates to the rapper Peacey P shown earlier in the episode.
*The [[Wikipedia:PlayStation#PSone|PSOne]] is a smaller and redesigned version of the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation|PlayStation]] video game console, released by [[Wikipedia:Sony Computer Entertainment|Sony Computer Entertainment]] in 2000.
*"Ola Toya is fighting Camptown Jr. at Caesar's tonight" is a reference to the [[Wikipedia:De_La_Hoya-Mayweather|De La Hoya-Mayweather Jr. Fight]] at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas in May 2007.
*[[Wikipedia:Harrah's Entertainment#Caesars brand|Caesars]] is a casino brand owned by [[Wikipedia:Harrah's Entertainment|Harrah's Entertainment]].

==External Links==
*[[HR:tgs13.html|watch "Teen Girl Squad Issue 13"]]
*[[HR:tgs13.swf|view the Flash file for "Teen Girl Squad Issue 13"]]
*[[Forum:11698|forum thread re: "Teen Girl Squad Issue 13"]]

{{Teen Girl Squad}}

[[Category:Teen Girl Squad]]

Mashing

Free Bagels — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 12:40:36 GMT

Free Bagels: No one likes bad grammar style.

[[Image:sbemailahundred.png|thumb|200px|And so, The Cheat mashed play on an extremely expensive jambox.]]
There have been many occurrences of '''Mashing Go/Play''' throughout the [[Homestar Runner (body of work)|Homestar Runner]] body of work. This phrase generally replaces the term "push" or "press" in relation to a button. In the southern United States (e.g. Georgia, home of [[The Brothers Chaps|The Brothers Chaps]]), "mash" is actually a common dialect term, so although it has appeared several times in the H*R universe, TBC might not originally have intended for it to become a running gag, as they were probably accustomed to the term.

== Appearances ==
*'''Debut:''' Email [[1 step ahead]] - "Mash spacebar" to peg [[Strong Sad]]
*[[Everybody Knows It]] - "Mash play on that [[Jam Box|jambox]]."
*Email [[flashback]] - "And so, [[The Cheat]] mashed play on an extremely expensive jambox..."
*The introduction to Disk One of [[strongbad_email.exe_Disc_One|strongbad_email.exe]] - "Make your selection and mash GO, moron!"
*Email [[alternate universe]] - "Mash go on that [[blender]]!"
*Email [[senior prom]] - "...when I mash go on it, everybody's [[pants]] will POOF AWAY!"
*[[Weclome Back]] - "...when I mash record on that camera...", then later "...Mash stop when you think you're mashing record and mash record when you think you're mashing stop..."
*[[Marshmallow's Last Stand]] [[Marshmallow's Last Stand#Commentary Transcript|commentary]] - "Pom Pom hit "mash play" on the... jambox."
*[[Blue Laserdisc Challenge]] - "Take control of Blue Laser Commander by mashing left or right on your laserdisc remote when you see this flashing style."
*[[Viidelectrix]] version of [[Duck Guardian One]] - "Point hereabouts and mash A to start."
*[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 13]] - [[Tompkins]] presses buttons on his [[Nintendo|Game Boy]], and as he does, the word "mash" appears intermittently.

[[Category:Word running gags]]

Teen Girl Squad Issue 13

Free Bagels — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 12:36:57 GMT

Free Bagels: Yay for lowercase i's!

{{tgsnav|13|Teen_Girl_Squad_Issue_12|Issue 12|Teen_Girl_Squad_Issue_1|Issue 1}}
[[Image:Tgs13.png|thumb|Don't let Timkins play my PSone!]]

[[So And So]] is baby-sitting, but her friends interrupt.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Tompkins}}, [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Momkins|Momkins]], [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Baby Timkins|Baby Timkins]], {{Film|So and So}}, [[Arrow'd Guy|Baby-Sat guy]][[Category: Arrow'd Guy Filmography]], {{Film|Cheerleader}}, {{Film|What's Her Face}}, {{Film|The Ugly One}}, [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Buttcrack Plumber|Plumber]], [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Peacey P|Peacey P]], [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Olympic Man and Coach|Olympic Man]], [[Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters#Policemen|Policemen]]

'''Places:''' [[Teen Girl Squad Locations#Tompkins's House|Tompkins's house]]

'''Date:''' Monday, June 18th, 2007

'''Running Time:''' 3:25

'''Page Title:''' Bebe's Sitter's Kids!

==Transcript==
''{The toon opens with Tompkins playing his Game Boy with a silhouette of his mother waving to him. The Teen Girl Squad theme music plays.}''

'''TOMPKINS:''' Aww, peas Momkins. I don't need a babysitter.

''{Zoom out to reveal Momkins, a robot wearing cowboy boots and a hat and carrying a pickaxe, along with a baby.}''

'''TOMPKINS:''' I can watch baby Timkins while you go out prospecting for future ex-husbands.

'''MOMKINS:''' Whatevs little man. You can't even take care of your own virtual pet.

''{Cut to a closeup of the Game Boy screen, displaying a bloated pet and the text, "Food: 600%"}''

'''VIRTUAL PET:''' Please stop feeding me!

''{Tompkins begins mashing the buttons on the Game Boy.}''

'''TOMPKINS:''' Teh heh heh heh heh.

''{Cut to Momkins standing next to the front door, which has a large, wrinkly face on it}''

'''FRONT DOOR:''' Ding dong. Ding dong, yo.

''{The door opens to reveal So and So, with fangs.}''

'''SO AND SO:''' Hello Mrs. Tomkinsrobotmomerson. I know I'm 3 hours early, but I wanted to...

'''MOMKINS:''' Listen, I'll be at a place until a time. My cell phone number is some numbers. The baby needs stuff. What's poison control? Punch Tomkins in the gut. Good luck.

''{Momkins rushes out the door with a crazed look on her face and her tongue hanging out of her mouth. Her hat flies off and So and So's hair is disheveled as she leaves.}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' She gone!

''{Cut to So and So speaking to Tompkins, who is playing his Game Boy next to a clock. The clock reads 5:03}''

'''SO AND SO:''' ''{pointing to her watch}'' Alright Tomkins, it is WAY past your bedtime.

'''TOMPKINS:''' ''{pointing at a flustered So and So}'' Listen babysit, I don't need to be babysat. I'll be in my room reorganizing my trenchcoats.

''{As Tompkins leaves, a giant baby resembling the Arrow'd Guy lands on and crushes him. The music stops.}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' BABY SAT!

'''TOMPKINS:''' Don't let Timkins play my PSone!!!!!

''{Cut to a Teen Girl Squad title screen, featuring Cheerleader (wearing a dress labeled "Ms. Thang"), The Ugly One, and What's Her Face smashing through a wall. "issue 13" and "by: strong bad" appear in the corners. The theme music plays.}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' Teen Girl Squad!!! Cheerleader! ''{$15/hour}'' What's Her Face! ''{$4.75/hour}'' The Ugly One! ''{plain yogurt/hour}''

''{Cut to So and So speaking to the other girls next to the smashed wall}''

'''SO AND SO:''' Not now, you guys. I'm babysitting.

''{Close up on Cheerleader}''

'''CHEERLEADER:''' Oh, we know how to babysit... ''{grows hypnotic eyes and fangs, and pulls out a cell phone and several volumes of "Dem Boys"}'' I'll call EACH AND EVERY BOY!!

''{Cut to What's Her Face}''

'''WHAT'S HER FACE:''' I'll eat all their food!

''{Cut to The Ugly One, wearing a crown and a ruffled collar, holding a remote}''

'''THE UGLY ONE:''' Just call me the queen of pay-per-view! ''{throws off the crown and collar and pushes the remote buttons}'' I think Ola Toya is fighting Camptown Jr. at Caesar's tonight!

''{Cut back to shot of So and So talking to Cheerleader (holding the cell phone), What's Her Face and The Ugly One (holding the remote)}''

'''SO AND SO:''' SHHH! Keep it down! The baby is studying for the SAT.

''{Cut to baby Timkins, under a pile of four books labeled "babySAT"}''

'''TIMKINS:''' Goo goo is ga-ga. Wah wah is ga-ga. ''{raises finger}'' Are all goo goos wah wahs?

''{Cut to an annoyed Cheerleader, holding her cell phone. Her dress now reads "The future Ms. Thang".}''

'''CHEERLEADER:''' Dag! None of my regulars are picking up! Let's see who on my B-list!

''{The phone rings, and the screen splits to show a plumber answering the call on a plunger.}''

'''PLUMBER:''' Uh, Buttcrack Plumbing!

'''CHEERLEADER:''' Hi Randy! I'm babysittin' tonight. Wanna come over and sneak in through the back window?

'''PLUMBER:''' And this is for a how many gallon toilet, ma'am?

'''CHEERLEADER:''' Bring all your hot friends... they've got two pantries!!!

''{A toilet with a beret, a mustache, and a loaf of french bread crushes Cheerleader with a plunger.}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' EAU DE TOiLETTE!

'''CHEERLEADER:''' So dignified!

''{Cut to What's Her Face standing between the two pantries}''

'''WHAT'S HER FACE:''' Wow! 2 pantries! I'll have me a diet soda I s'pose.

''{So and So enters, livid with a giant mouth and fangs.}''

'''SO AND SO:''' STOP! How many of those have you had?!?!

'''WHAT'S HER FACE:''' ''{annoyed}'' Uh, negative one sip.

''{So and So holds up a textbook entitled, "<s>urban legends</s> i mean health class"}''

'''SO AND SO:''' Don't you remember health class? You'll microwave the baby!!

'''WHAT'S HER FACE:''' ''{holding up a "Diet Brown" can}'' This is Diet Brown, not PCP.

''{The Ugly One slides into the room. What's Her Face and So and So look surprised.}''

'''THE UGLY ONE:''' Did somebody say Peacey P? I LOVES the Peacey P!

''{Cut to Peacey P, wearing a jersey labeled, "(Peacesign)y P", standing with Olympic Man (with a blurred jersey)}''

'''PEACEY P:''' Crample-o stow wha clamminuh whaow. My new album drop next sursdai. Ya'll biscuitheads.

''{The Ugly One enters with a (Peacesign)y necklace, and a pencil and notepad.}''

'''THE UGLY ONE:''' Can a sista get an autograph?

''{Olympic Man dangles The Ugly One off a balcony}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' DANGLED OFF A HOTEL BALCONY'D!!

'''THE UGLY ONE:''' That's it?

''{Zoom out as The Ugly One is dropped from the balcony into a "bayonet tailgate party"}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' Uh, and then DROPPED FROM SAID HOTEL BALCONY'D!!

'''THE UGLY ONE:''' That's better!

''{Cut to So and So holding a dirty diaper and yelling at baby Timkins}''

'''SO AND SO:''' What kinda dirty diaper is this?! I told you to alphabetize this stuff!

''{Cut to Front Door. A surprised So and So is leaning in, still holding the diaper}''

'''FRONT DOOR:''' BANG! BANG! BANG!

'''THE POLICE:''' ''{from behind the door}'' Open up! It's the police!

''{Cut to a terrifed So and So jumping in the air, dropping the diaper}''

'''SO AND SO:''' AHH! THE POPO! I can't do another nickel!

''{So and So jumps into the kitchen sink as background music begins to play.}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' GARBAGE DISPOSAL, 

''{Cut to a shot of the garbage disposal in the sink, with evil eyes and fangs}''

WHAT A WAY TO GO! 

''{Cut to a grinning So and So in the garbage disposal, dancing with a plate, a spoon, a piece of broccoli and a carrot.}''

GARBAGE DISPOSAL, 

''{All but So and So's arm disappears}''

MEET SO AND SO!

''{So and So's arm disappears. The plate, spoon, broccoli and carrot look surprised. Music stops and is replaced by the theme music. Cut to the Front Door, where What's Her Face has let two policemen into the house.}''

'''WHAT'S HER FACE:''' Can I help you gentlemen?

'''POLICEMAN 1:''' Uh, yes, ma'am. We got a report of us wanting to watch the Ola Toya fight. You mind if we investigate?

'''POLICEMAN 2:''' ''{holding up a packet labelled "Snack Mix"}'' I brought snack mix.

''{Cut to a "confidential" envelope out of which three game cards are removed.}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' The Snak Mix, in Tompkins' Parlor, WITH THE PRETZEL STICK!

''{Cut to a life-sized Snak Mix bag with a monocle, who clubs What's Her Face with a pretzel stick}''

'''WHAT'S HER FACE:''' OW! MY STYLE! (or lack thereof)

''{Cut to Momkins, the two policemen, and baby Timkins sitting on a couch watching TV}''

'''TV ANNOUNCER:''' ...anuddah vicious right!!!

'''POLICEMAN 1:''' I need to put an APB out on some microwave popcorn.

'''POLICEMAN 2:''' ''{looking at Momkins}'' I'd like to report a very good-looking robot prospector.

'''MOMKINS:''' Awww, shush!

''{Brief pause. The music stops}''

'''TIMKINS:''' ''{pointing at Policeman 1}'' You're not my real father!

''{Cut to the usual "It's over!" screen}''

'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' It's over!

==Easter Eggs==
*Click on the "O" at the end to see a promo for Peacey P's new album.
:''{The Crample-O Stow Records logo appears. The logo is a gold hand making a C shape in a gold circle. The logo shines a few times. Hip hop music plays in the background}''
:'''ANNOUNCER:''' Crample-O Stow Records presents...
:''{Peacy P's album appears}''
:'''ANNOUNCER:''' ..."Deliberance", the new album from Peacy P...
:''{As the announcer says the following words, they appear in yellow zig-zags}''
:'''ANNOUNCER:''' ...featuring: Large Craig, featuring: The Overripe MC, featuring: Tenerence Love, featuring: Akryllix & 3rd Lung, featuring: Peacy P!
:'''PEACY P:''' I'm a guest star on my own album, ya'll biscuitheads!
:''{The words "Drops Next Sursdai!" appear in a red oval at the bottom. Music fades out.}''

==Fun Facts==
===Explanations===
*The [[Wikipedia:SAT|SAT Reasoning Test]] is a test that is frequently taken prior to entry into college in America.
*[[Wikipedia:Phencyclidine|PCP]], also known as angel dust, is a recreational drug.
*''Eau de Toilette'' is [[French]] for "Toilet Water", usually signifying a cologne of some sort.
*A "[http://www.dict.org/bin/Dict?Form=Dict2&Database=*&Query=gold+digger gold digger]" is a person who marries/dates for profit.

===Trivia===
*This issue is the first of its kind to use a [[Wikipedia:Cold open|cold open]] instead of starting immediately with the opening credits.
*So and So is not included in the opening, as she has already been shown in the toon.

===Remarks===
* When the toon was first released, the button on the main page said only "teen girl squad" instead of the usual "New teen girl squad!"
* The '2 pantries' are actually one pantry with a reverse image next to it.

===Goofs===
* Tompkins's name is misspelled as "Tomkins" through the entire toon, except in the Snack Mix sequence ("Tompkins' Parlor").
* When Cheerleader is saying to sneak in through the back window, the text reads "the through", while she says "through the".

===Inside References===
*What's Her Face comments about the loss of her [[style]].
*When Tompkins pushes the buttons on his Game Boy to feed his virtual pet, the text [[Mashing Go|"m.a.s.h."]] appears.
*So and So saying "I can't do another nickel!" is in reference to [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 11]] when So and So was in jail for shoplifting.
*Tompkins's mom's name ends with [[Names ending in -erson|-erson]].

===Real-World References===
*Peacey P's voice and singing style is very similar to that of [[Wikipedia:Snoop Dogg|Snoop Dogg]].
**Peacey P might also be a reference to the [[Wikipedia:Stones Throw Records|Stones Throw Records]] artist [[Wikipedia:Percee P|Percee P]].
*So and So's line "You'll microwave the baby!!" and the book of urban legends she is holding reference the urban legend of a stoned babysitter [http://www.snopes.com/horrors/drugs/babysitter.asp mistaking a baby for a roast].
*The lines about the Snack Mix prior to What's Her Face's demise are based on the board game [[Wikipedia:Cluedo|Clue]].
*The title of the short is a reference to comedian Robin Harris' "Bébé's Kids" stand-up comedy act. After his death, his routine was adapted into a movie, also called "Bébé's Kids", the first animated feature with a majority African-American cast.
*"Ding dong. Ding dong, yo." may be a reference to the video for "Fat" by [[Wikipedia:Weird Al Yankovic|"Weird Al" Yankovic]].
*Dangling The Ugly One over the balcony is a reference to [[Wikipedia:Vanilla_Ice|Vanilla Ice's]] claim that rap record producer [[Wikipedia:Suge_Knight|Marion "Suge" Knight]] hung him up upside down on a hotel balcony in order to get Vanilla Ice to turn over his royalties. This relates to the rapper Peacey P shown earlier in the episode.
*The way the other three Teen Girl Squad members burst through the wall is similar to the [[Wikipedia:Kool-Aid Man|Kool-Aid Man]]'s entrances.
*When the police arrive, So and So thinks she is in legal trouble, but all the police want is to watch the fight on Pay-per-view. This is a take of a similar scene in [[Wikipedia:The Simpsons|The Simpsons]] episode [[Wikipedia:Homer_vs._Lisa_and_the_8th_Commandment|Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment]] when two policemen arrive to watch the fight on Homer's illegal cable hookup.
*The [[Wikipedia:PlayStation#PSone|PSOne]] is a smaller and redesigned version of the [[Wikipedia:PlayStation|PlayStation]] video game console, which was produced by [[Wikipedia:Sony Computer Entertainment|Sony Computer Entertainment]] in the mid-1990s.
*[[Wikipedia:M*A*S*H (TV series)|M*A*S*H]] is a comedy television show from the '70s.

==External Links==
*[[HR:tgs13.html|watch "Teen Girl Squad Issue 13"]]
*[[HR:tgs13.swf|view the Flash file for "Teen Girl Squad Issue 13"]]
*[[Forum:11698|forum thread re: "Teen Girl Squad Issue 13"]]

{{Teen Girl Squad}}

[[Category:Teen Girl Squad]]

little animal

Free Bagels — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 02:18:03 GMT

Free Bagels: Its not an egg. Its an easter egg.

{{sbenav|23|sb_email 22|the bird}}

[[Image:Cheatkicktandy.PNG|thumb|"A little animal comes up to me... I'd kick it."]]

Ashley and Anthony ask what Strong Bad would do if a little animal came up to him.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|The Cheat}}, {{Film|Strong Mad}}, {{Film|Old-Timey Strong Bad}} (Easter egg), {{Film|Strong Man}} (Easter egg), {{Film|The Sneak}} (Easter egg)

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[The Field]] (Old-Timey version; Easter egg)

'''Computer:''' [[Tandy 400]]

'''Date:''' Monday, April 15, 2002

'''Running Time:''' 1:16

'''Page Title:''' Tandy 400!!!

{{dvd|strongbad_email.exe Disc One}}

== Transcript ==

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh! What's this? An email? For me?!

<blockquote class="tandy email">What would you do if a little animal came 
up to you. 
 
crapfully yours, 
Ashley and Anthony</blockquote>

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Um, I don't really know. Let's find out. ''{He turns left and calls for The Cheat.}'' Oh, The Cheat! Come here for a moment!

''{The Cheat comes to Strong Bad.}''

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Ummmm...

''{Strong Bad kicks The Cheat hard, causing him to fly offscreen. Strong Bad turns back to the computer and resumes typing.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' So, there's your answer. A little animal comes up to me... I'd kick it. ''{stops typing}'' Okay so until next week, everything is awesome an—

''{Suddenly, Strong Mad appears next to Strong Bad looking very angry. He is gnashing his teeth at Strong Bad.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, er, hey big guy. Er, you know, I's just kicking The Cheat.

''{The Cheat appears beside Strong Mad, also looking angry. Strong Mad leans in menacingly.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Er, it's a little joke. You know we got the people watching at home. Just trying to be kind of funny for 'em, with the joke. A joke-kick... ''{rapidly}'' I'ma kick you, too!! ''{kicks Strong Mad's knee}''

'''STRONG MAD:''' RAAAAH!!

''{Music starts playing as Strong Bad runs away across the room with Strong Mad chasing behind him. [[The Paper]] comes down. The chase scene loops continuously and the music eventually fades.}''

== Easter Eggs ==
*Once Strong Bad starts running, click on his head or hit the 'o' key to toggle between a modern-style chase and an [[Old-Timey]]-style chase.

==Fun Facts==

===Trivia===
*This email marks the first appearance of the [[Floppy Disk Container]].
*This was the first email that was created with an easter egg that opens in the same page as the email itself ([[sb_email 22]] was actually created much later).
*This is the first instance of Strong Bad [[kicking The Cheat]] on the site.
*This is the first appearance of Strong Man and The Sneak.
*This is the first appearance of Strong Mad in a Strong Bad Email.

===Remarks===
* The Old-Timey chase scene loops every 7 frames (about 103 times a minute), which is slightly slower than the normal chase scene's 6 frames (120 times a minute).

===Goofs===
*Strong Bad's right arm disappears right after he kicks Strong Mad and starts running, until the cut to the repeated background.
*When you go to the Old-Timey chase, The Paper is still colored.
*When the music stops in the chase scene, The Paper's sound effect plays again.
*When Strong Bad calls The Cheat, the contrast cannot be changed. However, the buttons still act the same when you pass the cursor over it to click it. This changes when Strong Bad starts typing again.

===Glitches===
*You can still click on the Tandy's contrast buttons while Strong Bad is running. It is also possible to adjust the contrast when Strong Mad is in front of the Tandy.


===Inside References===
*The music played when Strong Mad chases Strong Bad is from the montage in [[Where's The Cheat?]].

===Real-World References===
*While Strong Mad chases Strong Bad through the house, they pass by the computer repeatedly in a manner similar to that of older cartoons, especially [[Wikipedia:Tom and Jerry (MGM)|Tom and Jerry]], where the background would paradoxically repeat itself over and over. This process was actually created by [[Wikipedia:William Hanna|William Hanna]] and [[Wikipedia:Joseph Barbera|Joseph Barbera]] in 1947 and was done in animation to save time and money, since only a section of background had to be drawn and was then looped over and over. The viewer can pretend they are running in a circle.

===Fast Forward===
*In [[do over]], Strong Bad imagines how he would correct the "stnank" he commits in this email.

==DVD Version==
[[Image:Supra Modern Telegram.png|thumb|The Future… Sorta.]]
*If you click the hidden Strong Bad head in front of Strong Mad's foot, you'll get the same Old-Timey Easter egg as in the Web version, but with additional dialog by Old-Timey Strong Bad, The Paper changes to the "Supra Modern Telegram", as well as a music change to The Homestar Runner's little ditty.
*:'''OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD:''' Dear feets. Stop. Don't fail me now! Stop. Signed, Strong Bad.

=== Fun Facts ===
*Old-Timey Strong Bad's dialog in the DVD bonus is done in the style of using a telegramophone, and is probably in particular a reference to his Easter egg appearances in [[50 emails]] and [[flashback]] (which were not created at the time of this email, but were both created well before the DVD was created).
*Feets, Don't Fail Me Now is the title of a disco album by jazz artist [[Wikipedia:Herbie Hancock|Herbie Hancock]].

== External Links ==
*[[HR:sbemail23.html|watch "little animal"]]
*[[HR:sbemail23.swf|view the Flash file for "little animal"]]

{{Strong Bad Email}}
[[Category:Tandy 400 Emails]] [[Category:Old-Timey]]

local news

Free Bagels — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 01:08:59 GMT

Free Bagels: Fixed a spelling mistake.

{{sbenav|89|couch patch|colonization}}
[[Image:minibeast_sbemail89.png|thumb|"The World in CRISIS! ...More on that later."]]

Dan asks Strong Bad if Strong Badia has a [[Action Cool 5|local news program]]. Strong Bad rushes off to make one with the help of Bubs, Strong Mad, The Cheat, The Poopsmith, and the Tire.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|The Cheat}}, {{Film|Strong Mad}}, [[Tire]], {{Film|Homestar Runner}}, {{Film|The King of Town}}, {{Film|Marzipan}}, {{Film|Bubs}}, {{Film|Strong Sad}}, {{Film|The Poopsmith}}

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[Strong Badia]], [[The Classroom]], [[The Field]], [[Bubs' Concession Stand]]

'''Computer:''' [[Compy 386]]

'''Date:''' Monday, November 17, 2003

'''Running Time:''' 3:05

'''Page Title:''' Compy 386!!

{{dvd|strongbad_email.exe Disc Three}}

== Transcript ==
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Singing}'' It's email time again! Doot doodle-ooh-doo, doot doodle-ooh-doo, doot doodle-ooh-doo.

''{reading}''

<blockquote class="compy email">Dear Strong Bad, 
Does Strong Badia have its' own local 
news even? If so, I hope it's better 
than my local news. 
 
Sincerely, 
Dan D. Tallahassee, FL</blockquote>

''{Strong Bad says "Tallaha—... Tasalan—... Gainesville, Florida" instead of "Tallahassee, FL"}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Okay, Dan, I'm only gonna sing this one more time: ''{singing}'' Ohhhhhhh ''{types while singing}'' If you want it to be possessive, it's just "I-T-S." But, if it's supposed to be a contraction then it's "I-T-apostrophe-S," ''{Short pause}'' scalawag. ''{stops typing}'' Ahem. Um, ''{Clears screen, resumes typing}'' Of course we've got local news. It's the—It's the greatest! Um... But I—I have to go now...and...do something...completely unrelated to me...throwing together...the aforementioned local news. Hoight!

''{Strong Bad holds a sign reading "Strong Badia Action Cool News 5" in front of the camera. We can hear The Cheat making noises in the background imitating the musical intros of news shows.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Strong Badia Action Cool News 5!

''{Cut to Strong Bad standing in Strong Badia.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Top Stories with anchorperson Strong Bad!

''{Strong Bad gives a thumbs-up to the camera, as The Cheat holds up an index card reading "Strong Bad with Top Stories." Cut to Strong Mad standing in front of a blackboard holding a football, a tennis racquet, and twirling a cinder block on his left index finger as if it were a basketball.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Mad with the sports!

''{The Cheat holds up an index card reading "Sportscarster Strong Mad". Cut to the Tire with an index card propped up next to it reading "Meteorologist TIRE."}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Local weather with Tire!

''{Cut to The Cheat standing in the field.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' And The Cheat with SkyCheat Traffic!

''{The Cheat grins at the camera and holds up an index card reading "THE FRiGGiN CHEAT" as the SkyCheat logo appears in the lower right-hand corner. Cut to Strong Bad sitting behind a desk situated in front of the fence.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Good evening and tonight. I'm Strong Bad with today's top stories.

''{Cut to a side view of the desk (which now looks more like a cardboard box). The Cheat holds up a sign saying "World Crisis."}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' The World in Crisis! More on that later.

''{The Cheat withdraws the World Crisis sign, and we switch to a frontal angle of the desk again.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Now let's check in with The Cheat with SkyCheat Traffic.

''{Cut to Strong Mad and The Cheat standing in the field. Strong Mad throws The Cheat high into the air. The Cheat hangs there for a split-second and then falls back and is caught offscreen by Strong Mad. This process repeats over and over. Strong Bad makes helicopter sounds.}''

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{subtitled}'' Thanks Strong Bad... This is The Cheat...with SkyCheat Traffic... There appears to be...some congestion...around Bubs' Concession Stand.

''{cuts to the concession stand. Homestar, Marzipan and the King of Town are standing in line. There is a sign that says "Wait in Line: $5"}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Best five bucks I ever spent.

''{Cuts back to Strong Bad behind the news desk.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Thank you, The Cheat. I guess those ''roads'' should not be ''rode'' upon, eh?

''{Cut back to The Cheat, who is still being thrown into the air.}''

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{subtitled}'' not funny... i didn't even mention...any roads.

''{Cut back to Strong Bad behind the news desk.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yes, well, thank you, tonight. We'll return to our top story: The World in Crisis.

''{Bubs holds up the "World Crisis sign." Cut to side angle of the desk again. You can see Bubs, but he quickly runs away, dropping the sign.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' But first, here's Strong Mad with the sports.

''{Cut to the Classroom. The words "SCORE A POINT" are written on the board. Strong Mad is bouncing a football on the floor with a tennis racquet.}''

'''STRONG MAD:''' I SHOULD WIN! I SHOULD WIN IT!

''{Strong Mad swats the football at the camera. You can hear Strong Sad saying "Ow!" Cut back to Strong Bad behind the news desk.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, it looks like our ''eh-sportscaster'' isn't being a very good ''eh-sport'', eh?

''{Cut to The Cheat still being thrown in the air.}''

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{subtitled}'' pathetic.

''{Cut back to the news desk.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Will the winter weather chill your cheeks?

''{The Poopsmith holds up a sign reading "Winter Weather."}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' What's the word, Tire?

''{Cuts to the tire on a desk with a weather map propped up against the fence. The map slowly slides down and falls off the desk, causing the tire to roll away and fall off the desk itself. Cut back to Strong Bad.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' You heard it folks. Bundle up, but keep your swimsuit on outside your pants.

''{Cut to side angle of desk}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Tonight folks, and have a great job. Remember to turn in tomorrow for our special investigative report exposé: The World in Crisis.

''{The Cheat's sound effects start up again}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Badia Action Cool News 5: "We're investiga-awesome."

''{The Cheat holds up a sign saying this. [[The Paper]] comes down.}''

== Easter Eggs ==
*At the very end, you can click on the little Trogdor-style beefy arm to bring up Strong Bad's educational CD, "Strong Bad's Rhythm N' Grammar".
#Ohhhhh... If you want it to be possessive, It's just "I-T-S." But if it's supposed to be a contraction, Then it's "I-T-apostrophe-S," Scalawag.
#Whatever happened to capitalization? It used to be so cooool.
#Girl, don't forget to spellcheck Or I'll come to your house and throw a brick through your dad's windshield... Windshield!
#Y-O-U-R... Y-O-U-Apostrophe-R-E... They're as different as night and day. Don't you think that night and day are different? What's wrong with you?
#And I don't care how they spell things on the Internet. When you email me, you spell the whole word out. And I don't care that your cell phone has a camera in it. ''{He trails off making bass guitar noises.}''

== Fun Facts ==

===Explanations===
*"The World in Crisis" is making fun of the fact that most news stations always start off by telling you about the most interesting news story and keep you waiting to see it for a long time.
*Strong Bad is likely affecting an exaggerated Spanish accent in his pronunciation of "sport" and "sportscaster." Because the s+consonant sound does not appear at the beginning of a word in Spanish, native Spanish speakers often have difficulty pronouncing such words and will add a soft e sound to the beginning.

===Trivia===
*This is the first time Homestar mentions anything about [[Best/Worst X bucks I ever spent|best/worst bucks spent]].

===Remarks===
*The Cheat says that he didn't mention any roads, which may have been out of necessity—there are no known roads in [[Free Country, USA]].
*When it first cuts to Strong Bad standing in Strong Badia, the sky is oddly pink, but for the rest of the email the sky is gray. This is different from Free Country, USA's usual clear blue sky.
*The sportscaster card says "sportscarster," a spelling mistake typical for Strong Bad.
*When The Cheat comes back down from being thrown up in the air, Strong Mad almost instantly grunts and The Cheat shoots back up. This could mean that Strong Mad is not throwing The Cheat very high up in the air.
*Since almost immediately after Strong Mad's sportscast, he is heard throwing The Cheat in the air in the field, either [[The Classroom]] is very close to the field or Strong Mad ran very quickly.

===Goofs===
*None of The Cheat's subtitles from "not funny" onward are capitalized.
*When the tire falls off the desk, the crashing noise is heard before the tire actually hits the ground.
*When Strong Bad is standing at the desk at a side angle, the outlines on the desk are different on the front and back.
*When Bubs holds up the "World in Crisis" sign, it is in his right hand. When the camera changes angles, Bubs holds it in his left hand.

===Inside References===
*The arm on the S in the sign is a reference to [[Trogdor]].
*The stained [[index cards]] used to display the titles and names of Strong Bad, Strong Mad, The Cheat, and the Tire are similar to the ones used in [[band names]].
*The song Strong Bad does after singing "It's email time again" sounds a lot like the song from [[techno]].

===Real-World References===
*This email is from [[Wikipedia:Tallahassee, Florida|Tallahassee, Florida]], but Strong Bad finally says it is from [[Wikipedia:Gainesville, Florida|Gainesville]]. The college football teams of these two cities — the [[Wikipedia:Seminole (tribe)|Seminoles]] of [[Wikipedia:Florida State University|Florida State University]] and [[Wikipedia:Florida Gators|Gators]] of [[Wikipedia:University of Florida|University of Florida]], respectively — are major rivals.
*The Cheat making noises in the background near the beginning is a reference to news programs that play a bit of [[Wikipedia:Morse code|Morse code]] which fades as the anchor starts to speak.
* The "it's email time again!" intro sounds remarkably like the [[Wikipedia:KISS (band)|KISS]] song "Cold Gin" with the title replaced by the word "Email".
*Strong Bad's songs are most likely making fun of [[Wikipedia:Schoolhouse Rock|Schoolhouse Rock]], an educational cartoon that teaches children subjects such as multiplication, grammar, history, etc.
*Sky Cheat Traffic is a possible reference to Sky Team Traffic on the Atlanta News station [http://www.wsbtv.com Channel 2 action news], which happens to have the call letters [[Wikipedia:WSB-TV|W'''SB''']].

===Fast Forward===
*The [[Action Cool 5]] logo would later be used for the station in [[theme song]].

== DVD Version ==
*All 5 Grammar songs have been incorporated into one long Easter egg.
*The DVD version features hidden audio commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

=== Commentary Transcript ===
('''Commentary by:''' [[Strong Bad]], [[Mike Chapman]])

'''STRONG BAD:''' Greetings, Mike.

'''MIKE:''' Greetings, Strong Bad.

'''STRONG BAD:''' It's nice to see you again here—

'''MIKE:''' Thanks for joining me again.

'''STRONG BAD:''' —in the commentary booth.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah. Can I get you anything?

'''STRONG BAD:''' Uhh... Can you get me something else?

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughs}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Maybe a picnic plate with wine and a baguette?

'''MIKE:''' That's The Che—that's what The Cheat likes.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, that's his favorite.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Can I get him something else?

'''MIKE:''' Heh, 'kay... Um...

'''STRONG BAD:''' So this—I need to really put out this album.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, Strong Mad's—"Strong ''Bad's'' Rhythm N' Grammar."

'''STRONG BAD:''' My—What are you, my parents? I'm Strong Bad. ''Bad, bad, bad.''

'''MIKE:''' How can I remember? Do you have any, uh, mnemonic devices?

'''STRONG BAD:''' S. B., times three.

'''MIKE:''' Ohh, I get it.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah.

'''MIKE:''' Okay, so, um, em—actually, this email... um... ''{mumbles}'' I don't wanna say that.

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{laughs}'' Okay, something else? Maybe another factoid.

'''MIKE:''' Uh... I like, um... the Strong Badia logo... right there for the news had an arm coming out of it, kinda like Trogdor.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, yeah. Look at how he—that's amazing. Spinning that cinder block... "The friggin' Cheat," man. I like the Skycheat Traffic logo, too.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, that's good. You guys must have spent some money on that.

'''STRONG BAD:''' ...So, if you're a news...carster...you gotta...you gotta say "tonight" as much as possible.

'''MIKE:''' Mmhmm.

'''STRONG BAD:''' That's what I learned.

'''MIKE:''' Well, you say it a lot in this email.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, you're supposed to. Because you have to remind people, or they'll think it's the afternoon news, and they'll turn it off. Nobody wants to watch that crap.

'''MIKE:''' No, just the evening news.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah. Evening—

'''MIKE:''' "Tonight."

'''STRONG BAD:''' Tonight. The tonight news. We should have called it that. ''{pause}'' ''{referring to Homestar, the King of Town, and Marzipan standing in line at Bubs' Concession Stand}'' Those poor suckers. I mean, look at—you'd think, I mean, the King of Town and Homestar I understand, but Marzipan's usually a little more discerning. A little—

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, she, uh... Maybe she couldn't see that sign.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, and she's just waiting—she wanted a snow cone or something... Yeah. ''{pause}''

''{simultaneously, after newscaster Strong Bad says "Yes. Well, thank you. Tonight."}''

'''MIKE:''' There, he said... There, he did... So, Bubs... Bubs is...

'''STRONG BAD:''' See? Because, see, someone was about to change the channel, they'd be like, "Oh, this is the—this is noonday. I don't want to watch noonday." Oh! Yeah...

'''MIKE:''' So that's where Bubs was. He wasn't at the concession stand because he was helping you with the news. Is he like an intern?

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, he's at the station.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah.

'''STRONG BAD:''' He's trying—he's getting some hours. Community service, actually.

'''MIKE:''' Oh. ''{laughs}'' Really? What did he do?

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah. I—I'm not supposed to say.

'''MIKE:''' Okay. Oh, and the Poopsmith's helping out now too.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh... See, I actually originally drew a picture of butt cheeks with icicles on 'em, but the network wouldn't let me air it.

'''MIKE:''' I can s—I can imagine.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah... ''{pause}'' I, um... ''{After newscaster Strong Bad says "tonight" again}'' ...See? Once again, that was, like, five more viewers—

'''MIKE:''' That doesn't even make any sense.

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{laughs}'' What do you mean?

'''MIKE:''' I mean, you're just saying "tonight."

'''STRONG BAD:''' I s—I kept reiterating that it is tonight!

'''MIKE:''' And you never told us what the World in Crisis was about.

'''STRONG BAD:''' That's to get you to come back ''tomorrow'' night and watch.

===Fun Facts===
*The picnic plate with wine and a baguette being [[The Cheat]]'s favorite is a reference to the [[Powered by The Cheat]] toon "[[New Boots]]."

== External Links ==
*[[HR:sbemail89.html|watch "local news"]]
*[[HR:sbemail89.swf|view the Flash file for "local news"]]

{{Strong Bad Email}}
[[Category:Compy 386 Emails]][[Category: Emails With DVD Commentary]]

Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 7.0

Free Bagels — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 23:12:38 GMT

Free Bagels: /* homestar returns to his normal voice at one point */

{{mamnav|7|Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 6.0|Version 6.0|Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 8.0|Version 8.0}}

[[Image:marzipan_answer7.png|thumb|Stealth of Dead Guy Perez!]]

Strong Sad invites Marzipan to a [[3 Times Halloween Funjob|Halloween party]], Bubs advertises tainted candy, Homsar howls, Dead Guy Perez knocks over the thing, Safety Dan gives us important Halloween tips, and Homestar treats us to a musical performance.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Marzipan}}, {{Film|Strong Sad}}, {{Film|Bubs}}, {{Film|Homsar}}, {{Film|Homestar Runner}}, {{Film|Strong Bad}}

'''Places:''' [[Marzipan's House]]

'''Date:''' Thursday, October 31, 2002

'''Page Title:''' Marzipan's Spooky Answering Machine

{{dvd|Everything Else, Volume 1}}

== Transcript ==
=== Marzipan's Greeting ===
'''MARZIPAN:''' Ooo! Oooo! Happy Halloween, don't be too scared... 'cause it's Halloween. Please leave a message. This is Marzipan. ''{beep}''

=== Message 5 ===
'''STRONG SAD:''' Hey, Marzipan. I was just letting you know that Homsar and I are gonna bust out the Ouija board tonight, and if you're up for it... could be pretty fun. I'm... hoping to see if any dead people will be my friends. All right. See ya.

=== Message 4 ===
'''BUBS:''' Hey, Bubs... this is Marzipan! Oh, snap! I mean... hey, Marzipan, this is Bubs! Just wanted to let you know that, Coach Z got that kick in the crotch you sent him just fine. He's chillin' out on the couch right now. I-I think he'll be out of commission for a while. Uh, anyways, remember, Friday is tainted candy sellback day at the concession stand, so, be sure to stop on by. Later.

=== Message 3 ===
'''HOMSAR:''' ''{crazy wailing}'' AaAah. RaAaAaAah. AaAaAaAaAaah! RaAaAh. Raaerr.

=== Message 2 ===
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Trick or Treat! ''{pause}'' Marzipan?... you got any treats? No? Then you get a trick! ''{attempting ominous voice}'' Ohhh, this isn't Homestar after all! My name is Dead Guy Perez... alternately known as the D.G.P... and I'm... a dead guy! I'm coming to your house. ''{thump, thump, thump, crash} {normal voice}'' Oh. I knocked over the thing. Um... I'm not coming to your house after all, but... leave me a message, and I'll get right back to you.

=== Message 1 ===
'''STRONG BAD:''' Uh, good day to you Mrs. Pan. This is... Safety Dan, over here at the Safety... Squad. Uh, just calling you with some Halloween safety tips. Always remember, when trick-or-treating, to wear all black and paint your face black and dye your hair black... you know, all- everything black. If need be, wrap yourself in electrical tape and walk in the middle of the street at all times and dart quickly into the street, and across intersections. Also, we have recently come to find that your house has in ''no way'' been targeted for multiple eggings and toilet paperings. So you've got nothing to worry about. Probably just go to your stupid boyfriend's party and, um, ''no one at all'' will egg the everloving crap out of your house. Okay. Once again, I'm Safety Dan. Happy Halloween.

== Easter Eggs ==
*After the final message, click on the tape deck to hear Homestar try to sing "Back in Black" by AC/DC.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{singing}'' Doot! Doo doo doot! Doo doo doot! Deedoodadeedoo! Boop! Boo doo doot! Boo doo doot! Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong! Well I'm back in black, and I'm hittin' the sack and everybody does something and all, uh, back in the black ''{stops singing, pauses}'' ...um... I don't know the words. I just like that guy's little schoolboy outfit.

== Fun Facts ==

*After singing ''[[Wikipedia:Back in Black|Back in Black]]'' on the Easter egg, Homestar says he likes "that guy's little schoolboy outfit." Clearly this is a reference to [[Wikipedia:Angus Young|Angus Young]] of [[Wikipedia:AC/DC|AC/DC]]. Homestar showed his love for that outfit by wearing it as his costume in the [[Pumpkin Carve-nival]], released two days prior.
*Safety Dan is a reference to [[Dan]], a running gag.
*This toon was actually released on the exact same day as the Strong Bad Email [[ghosts]].

== External Links ==
*[[HR:answer7.html|watch "Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 7.0"]]
*[[HR:answer7.swf|view the Flash file for "Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 7.0"]]

{{Marzipan's Answering Machine}}

{{subtitlesLinks|answer7}}

[[Category:Marzipan's Answering Machine | 07]]
[[Category: Halloween]]

The Paper

Free Bagels — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 13:19:05 GMT

Free Bagels: He has a printer now.

{{about|[[:Category:Pseudocharacters|Pseudocharacter]]}} {{foremail|the paper}}
[[Image:close Paper.png|thumb|right|The Paper, doing what it does best.]]
'''The Paper''' is the piece of printer paper that comes down from the top of the screen after nearly every [[Strong Bad Email]], up until [[the paper]]. It usually reads:

{| cellspacing="0" cellpadding="4" style="text-align:center;font-family: courier new, monospace;width:350px"
|- style="background:#E0F5E1;"
|  
|- style="background:#F8F8F8;"
| > Click here to e-mail strong bad
|- style="background:#E0F5E1;"
| strongbad@homestarrunner.com
|}

In the first twenty emails, it contained just the first line without an email address. The Paper coming down usually signals the end of the email; however, the majority of [[Easter eggs]] can be found after The Paper has come down. One can either wait around or click on certain words [[Strong Bad]] has typed. It is shown in [[the paper]] that Strong Bad has a printer above his desk, but it is still unclear exactly where it is attached to. This seemingly magical paper can sometimes be seen manifesting itself out of the clear blue sky, where it can seem huge in comparison to its normal size. Some suggest that it's merely in the foreground. On occasion, Strong Bad has touched The Paper in closeup, making The Paper look even more like it's gigantic compared to everything else by having his hand seem notably smaller than The Paper.

From the sound it makes and the quality of the printout, the printer that produces The Paper can be assumed to be of the [[Wikipedia:dot matrix printer|dot matrix]] variety. (However, The Paper prints upside-down from how a real dot-matrix printer would operate; that is, the ''last'' line prints first toward the free edge of the page.) The sprocket holes on the edges further indicate that it has a tractor feed mechanism. Both technologies are almost completely [[Strong Bad's Technology|outmoded]]. According to the Strong Bad Email [[montage]], it will be replaced by an inkjet printer as of email #173. The ending of email #172 [[more armies]] seems to be a prelude to its replacement, as it came down crumpled and torn, with Strong Bad remarking that this is "a bad sign."

[[Image:Broken Paper.png|thumb|The Paper when it's about to die.]]
The Paper finally 'died' in Email #173 [[the paper]] and was in fact replaced by an inkjet printer, resulting in [[New Paper]].

The [[onomatopoeia]] for The Paper's sound effect is "[[preeeeow]]", mentioned in [[autobiography]], [[haircut]], [[part-time job]], [[garage sale]], [[lady fan]], and [[coloring]]. It should also be noted that The Paper is always referred to with an [[integral article]].

== Abnormal Sayings ==
The Paper has displayed messages other than the standard "Click here to e-mail Strong Bad" link.

*At the end of [[Superbowl Dealie]], it reads, "Due to the big game, the Strong Bad Email will be late this week."
*At the end of [[Arcade Game]], it reads, "Click here to play the Trogdor arcade game."
*At the end of [[duck pond]], it reads, "Click here to play '[[Duck Pond]]'".
*At the end of [[King of Town Email]], The Paper comes down and reads, "Nobody wants to e-mail The King of Town. For real."
*In the [[HR:crazycartoon.html|Toons Menu version]] of [[crazy cartoon]], it appears in [[Powered by The Cheat]] form and reads ">>>The End<<<".
*In the [[strongbad_email.exe|DVD]] and [[Podstar Runner]] versions of Strong Bad Emails, it simply reads, ">>The End<<", due to the inability to link to Strong Bad's email address.
*It displays the menu options on the [[strongbad_email.exe]] DVD. There is also a "bottom-feeding Paper" reading "Make your selection and mash GO, moron!"
*In the email [[animal]], it reads "Enough already, Strong Bad" above the usual email information.
*At the end of [[Sick Day]], a very unhealthy-looking (crumpled) The Paper reads "Strong Bad, I can't come in today."
*At the end of [[cliffhangers]], it reads, "Tune in next time for the cliff hanging conclusion!!"
*In [[retirement]], The Paper translates what the broken [[Tandy 400]] and [[Compy 386]] are trying to tell Strong Bad. At the end of retirement A it read, "To Be Continued Tomorrow!" before retirement A and retirement B were merged. At the end of the email The Paper reads, "It was me. I like hushpuppies."

== Other "The Paper" Oddities ==
===General===
*At the end of [[guitar]], Strong Bad uses the [[BMW Lighter]] and unintentionally scorches The Paper.
**In an Easter egg in the DVD version of [[caffeine]], The Paper gets scorched again by Strong Bad's science project, "The Effects Of Gasoline On Fire".
*In [[sb_email 22]], The Paper only comes down at the end of the [[sb_email 22#Easter Eggs|press conference]] Easter egg.
*The printer for The Paper is apparently female; at the end of [[invisibility]], the contrast knobs of the [[Tandy 400]] can be repeatedly clicked to produce the message "tell the printer i'll miss her." However, The Paper itself is male, as mentioned in [[animal]] when Strong Bad asks "him" to come down and meet the new [[Lappy 486]].
*Apparently, The Paper can also produce counterfeit money; in an Easter egg in [[couch patch]], one can click on a hidden link to make The Paper print out an [[ASCII art]] million dollar bill.
*Strong Bad also uses The Paper in [[autobiography]] to print out the actual email. He runs the command "print_of_it.exe" to do so.
**Later in this email, The Paper takes a while to signal the end of the email due to a paper jam (according to Strong Bad).
*In [[theme park]], The Paper comes down twice.
*In [[extra plug]], even when the power is out, The Paper still comes down, with the help of [[Strong Mad]] and [[The Cheat]].
[[Image:The Paper---Shreder'd + montage.PNG|thumb|220px|right|An inkjet printer in the future?]]
*In [[more armies]], The Paper comes down crumpled and torn, prompting Strong Bad to comment, "that's a bad sign."
**[[more armies]] is email number 172, just one before the email mentioned in [[montage]] in which Strong Bad is supposed to upgrade to an inkjet printer.
*The way that the printer/paper is designed in its final sbemail of [[the paper]], at the end of normal sbemails, the text on [[the paper]] would have to be printed upside-down.

===When it has a mind of its own===
*At the end of [[50 emails]] it comes down prematurely, ending an email which, in Strong Bad's opinion, was not quite over.
*The Paper can occasionally follow orders, though. In [[date]] and [[for kids]], Strong Bad instructs The Paper when to come down to bring the email to a close.
*In [[the facts]], The Paper comes down after [[Homestar Runner|Homestar]] says, "And that's the end of my show, DONK!" Strong Bad objects to this.
*In [[animal]], The Paper nervously goes back up when meeting the Lappy. It then tells Strong Bad via printout (see [[#Abnormal Sayings|above]]) that he's stopped being funny for the day.
*In [[part-time job]], The Paper doesn't come down on its own. Instead, "ps: preeeeow" must be clicked to make it come down.
*In [[Sick Day]], The Paper is wrinkled and produces a sick-sounding noise, and tells Strong Bad that it can't come in. It then retreats when Strong Bad asks if he can blow his nose on it.
*In [[retirement]], The Paper suddenly appears and offers to translate the Tandy 400 and Compy 386's language of "extravagantly broken computer." Later, The Paper explains to Strong Bad that it is the one that likes hushpuppies.

===When it shows up in odd places===
*In [[stand-up]], it comes down in front of the [[Telebision]] after the end of [[Strong Sad]]'s video.
*In [[little animal]], it appears at the top of the screen while Strong Mad chases Strong Bad around the room. It also remains there when you switch to [[Strong Man]] chasing [[Old-Timey Strong Bad]] and back.
*In [[the bird]], it comes down from the sky. [[Pom Pom]] lifts the corner and [[Homestar Runner Peeking|peeks out]] from under it.
*In [[property of ones]], it comes down over the [[Cold Ones]] [[:Image:sbemail39.PNG|needlepoint]].
*In [[big white face]], it appears above [[The Poopsmith]], who pokes at it with his shovel.
*In [[replacement]], it appears above Strong Bad's grave.
*In [[garage sale]], it comes down from the sky. When viewing the Homestar Runner Easter egg, it remains centered on the screen even as the scene shifts to the left.
*In [[lady...ing]], The Paper comes down to the right of the Lappy (although centered on the screen), after Strong Bad has fallen asleep on that side.
*In [[redesign]], The Paper comes down in front of the "Redesigning SBEMAILS, JERK FOOT" logo.
*In [[retirement]], it appears on the roof of [[Bubs' Concession Stand]] and in the field.

===When it's not The Paper===
[[Image:Supra Modern Telegram.png|thumb|Old-Timey The Paper]]
[[Image:Soapoperapaper.png|thumb|The Paper in email [[lady fan]]]]
*In the [[little animal#DVD Version|DVD Version]] of [[little animal]], the [[Old-Timey]] version of The Paper is a [[Supra Modern Telegram]] reading "-the end-".
*In [[superhero name]], a comic book with an "email Strong Bad" link appears in lieu of The Paper.
*In [[vacation]], The Paper does not appear at all.
*In [[japanese cartoon]], The Paper is replaced with an anime credits list.
*In [[crazy cartoon]] and [[mile]], a [[Powered by The Cheat]] version of The Paper appears.
*In [[dreamail]], The Paper takes the form of an upside-down copy of the [[Wikipedia:United States Constitution|United States Constitution]], with the Strong Bad email link scribbled at the top.
**This is the fifth time in seven consecutive emails that The Paper has had at least one unusual twist.
*In [[death metal]], the link to Strong Bad's email address is on the bottom of the death metal worksheet.
*In [[lady fan]], The Paper is shown coming out of a printer in a "boring soap-opera comic".

== See Also ==
* [[Sound Effects#the_paper|Sound Effects]] to listen to an audio sample.

[[Category: Items|Paper]]
[[Category: Pseudocharacters|Paper]]

the paper

Free Bagels — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 12:55:00 GMT

Free Bagels: /* Added a goof */

{{aboutemail}}{{for|[[:Category:Pseudocharacters|Pseudocharacter]]|The Paper}}
{{sbenav|173}}
[[Image:Sbemail173thepaper.PNG|thumb|"Hurry up, Diaper Stripe! I wanna print out that butt I made out of hyphens and dollar signs!"]]

Strong Bad reminisces about [[The Paper]].

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{film|Strong Bad}}, [[Lil' Strong Bad]], [[Lil' Strong Sad]][[Category: Strong Sad Filmography]], [[Homestar Runner]], [[Homsar]], [[Bubs]], [[Coach Z]] (Easter egg)

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]]

{{Comp|Lappy 486}}

'''Date:''' Monday, June 11, 2007

'''Running Time:''' 3:08

'''Page Title:''' Lappy 486

==Transcript==
'''STRONG BAD:''' Check the deck, y'all! Press eject, y'all! Well, it's another email and I'm about to reject y'all!

<blockquote class="lappy email"><div>
subject: The Paper...</div>
Dear Strongbad, 
Is the Paper really quitting? Could you tell me the best 
moment that you had with the paper? 
Thank You 
Kyle Williams 
North Ogden, Utah
</blockquote>

''{Strong Bad reads the state as "Ewwwtah".}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' No, The Paper's not quitting, Kyle, you total Ogdenite. Ol' Papes is at the top of his game, the prime of his time, the cusp of his stuff!

''{The printer falls onto Strong Bad, knocking him offscreen.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' OW!!!

''{Cut back to show the full computer room. The wrecked printer is on the ground, with Strong Bad reeling next to it. The printer prints a sheet. A dramatic chords plays. Cut to a closeup of The Paper, which reads "I tHiNK i'MM rEAlllyy QUItTinG sTROng BBBaD".}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{offscreen}'' The Paper! No!!!

''{Cut back to a shot of the whole screen.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Why do all my thirty-year-old electronics keep breaking on me?!

''{Cut to a closeup of The Paper, which prints out some more text reading "wE haDd A goOd RUN, oLD buDddy."}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{offscreen}'' We sure did, pal.

''{Cut back}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Why, I remember the day you were born like it was about to happen in a wavy flashback...

''{Harp music plays. It transitions to Lil' Strong Bad and Strong Sad, in front of a computer and printer. Strong Sad is typing.}''

'''LIL' STRONG BAD:''' Hurry up, Diaper Stripe! I wanna print out that butt I made out of hyphens and dollar signs!

''{Strong Sad hits a key, and a paper prints out of the printer.}''

'''LIL' STRONG BAD:''' Did you hear that?

''{Cut to a closeup of The Paper, which reads "Preeeeow, world."}''

'''LIL' STRONG BAD:''' ''{offscreen}'' It said "Preeeeow!"

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' And you were always phenomenal over the boards on defense!

''{Cut to the stadium. Strong Bad is wearing a headband, dancing in front of a basketball hoop as though blocking it. Homestar Runner holds a football and is wearing kneepads and a purple shirt that reads "Team Kneepads 15". The scoreboard gives a score of "?" for the Home team and "$" for the Visitors.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Homestar has the ball at the top of the key. ''{bounces the football twice}'' Dribble, dribble, ''{throws it toward the hoop}'' shoot!

''{The Paper comes down reading "Manute Bol" in front of the hoop, blocking the shot. Strong Bad looks up.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Ooooh! ''{closeup}'' Get that weak mess outta here!

''{Cut to a closeup of Homestar}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Aw, man! Wish I had a time-and-space-transcending piece of paper on ''my'' team.

''{Cut back a bit. Homsar is hovering in midair behind Homestar, wearing a similar shirt but with the number ".4". He has a kneepag on his hat instead of his legs.}''

'''HOMSAR:''' ''{his hat flies offscreen}'' AaAaAaAaAaAaA ''{his hat lands on Strong Bad}'' aAaAaAaAa...

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover, over Homsar}'' I will admit, I wasn't crazy about your goth phase.

''{Cut to Strong Bad in the computer room, in front of the Compy. A black version of the paper designed to resemble bat wings comes down with a purple glow and a drop of blood that slowly drips off. It has the usual text printed in a Gothic font, but it's nearly unreadable.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Ahh! ''{Looks up, holds up his hands in a defensive stance.}''

''{Cut to Strong Bad in front of the Compy up close.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Or your preppy phase, for that matter.

''{The Paper comes down. It appears to be wearing a pink polo shirt with a turquoise scarf. The shirt has "Tennis" stitched into it with an image of a tennis racket above it. Only the word "golf" is visible on The Paper itself. Strong Bad looks up, then down.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' But you always watched out for your younger brothers and sisters.

''{Another drop of blood drips down from The Paper. Cut to computer room with the Lappy on the desk. Homestar is wrapped up in paper dangling from the ceiling. A bottle of Mountain Dew is visible on the desk.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Look, I was just trying to pour Mountain Dew on it! Ohwait. I mean Mello Yello on it! Ohwait. I mean Sierra Mist!

''{Cut to a closeup of Homestar.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Fresca! Surge!

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' And who knows how many times you saved my shiny black keister?

''{Cut to Strong Bad, on the Island, which has a hole in it and is slowly sinking. Strong Bad is wearing a ragged bandanna. Many shark fins appear circling the island.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' How is this island sinking?! I didn't even kill any end bosses!

''{The Paper comes down reading "Anybody need a lift?"}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{looking up}'' The Paper! I thought you were still in Pyongyang! Let's go! Jump!

''{He jumps up and grabs The Paper, which reels upwards. But back to a silhouetted version of the scene over a sunset. Strong Bad and The Paper appear to be flying away from the island. Video game music plays. The words "GAME OVER" and "PROGRAMMERS:" appear after a moment as the island sinks completely. Transition back to the computer room.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' I can't believe this is really it!

''{Cut to a closeup of The Paper. It prints out "iT is Tiime. YOU kNOw WhHat to dO."}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{offscreen}'' Farewell—

''{Cut to a full shot. Strong Bad pats the printer.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' —my stripèd friend.

''{Strong Bad pulls out the BMW Lighter. Cut to a closeup of The Paper again. Strong Bad burns it, leaving ashes that read "BYE NOW". Cut back.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing, distressed}'' And The Paper goeth into the ''{a spotlight shines down on Strong Bad}'' niiIIiiIIiiIIght!

''{The scene fades out, then back in to Strong Bad in front of the Lappy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{looking up}'' How's it comin' up there, Bubs?

''{Bubs' hand drops down.}''

'''BUBS:''' I'm almost finished!

''{For a few seconds, Bubs mumbles and socket wrench noises are heard.}''

'''BUBS:''' ''{ofscreen}'' There!

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Alright, now hit us with some Preeow 2.0!

''{A new paper comes down slowly making shuffling noises. A key with "@" is drawn on the left, and an evelope with Strong Bad's face in it is drawn on the right.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' What the? How am I ever supposed to pronounce that garglemesh? ''{imitating the printer's noises}'' Heunh heownh heunh heownh vvvvvt eangt clonk-a-donk. Doesn't quite roll off the tongue. Alright New Paper, you are officially on trial status. So ya better get to impressin'!

''{[[New Paper]] comes down a little more, printing out an ASCII butt made with hyphens and dollar signs, with "(but, a butt)" printed next to it.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Hm. Well... that's a start.

==Easter Eggs==

*Click "Butt" at the end to see Homestar tangled in the Paper later on that day.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{Singing}'' The blood is rushing to my head... Blacking out, blacking out, blacking out...
*Click "impressin'" at the end to see a revisit of [[One Two, One Two]].
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{Bouncing his football}'' Dribble dribble, shoot! Dribble dribble, shoot shoot! ''{Continues over Coach Z's lines}''
:'''COACH Z:''' ''{Leaning into frame}'' Ooh, dang! ''{Claps four times}'' Ooh, dang! ''{Claps four times}''
:''{Both continue over Strong Bad's lines}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Leaning into frame}'' Look! We're not doing this again. Look! We're not doing this again. ''{Record scratch, Homestar and Coach Z stop}'' We're really not doing this again!
:''{Scoreboard changes from ? to G}''

==Fun Facts==
===Trivia===
*The Floppy Disk Container reads "Logo" and "colonel's bequest" in the flashbacks. In the present, it reads "rise of the triad".
*During the flashback of Homestar being tangled up by The Paper, the screen of Lappy 386 reads:
<blockquote class="lappy email" style="background-image: none">
Look, Darius, if you want me to eat a Philly cheesesteak 
instead of answering an email this week, you got it. No 
skin off my back. I'll eat a couple-a Tastykakes while I'm 
at it, too. Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta skee-dat.
</blockquote>

===Remarks===
*One of the rare times Homsar's hat doesn't return to him, instead landing on Strong Bad's head.
*When viewing the flash file, you can see the scoreboard reads a score of ? - $

===Goofs===
*During The Paper's "preppy" phase, the contrast can affect the area outside the Compy's screen.
*When Strong Bad is kneeling on the ground in front of the printer, parts of the Lappy's screen are outside where they should be. It's easier to see this while viewing the flash file.

===Inside References===
*The death of The Paper was predicted in [[montage]].
*The music when Strong Bad is carried off the island is from [[Population: Tire]].
*The rhythmic Easter egg is a reference to the previous toon, [[One Two, One Two]].
*After Strong Bad interrupts the rhythmic Easter egg, the scoreboard changes to [[G]].
*Homestar references [[autobiography]] when he says, "Homestar has the ball at the top of the key!"
*Lil' Strong Bad's duck shirt is similar to the shirt Homestar wore in [[flashback]].
*Homestar mentions [[Mountain Dew]] as well as several other real-world brands of similar soda.
*'And The Paper goeth into the niiIIiiIIiiIIght!' is a reference to [[Trogdor]]'s theme first heard in [[guitar]].
*In the easter egg where Homestar sings "The blood is rushing to my head", it is to the same tune as the easter egg in email [[anything]], in which he sang "Never-ending Soda", also in reference to mountain dew.
*The pear and leafs wallpaper was first seen in the email [[no loafing]].

===Real-World References===
*"Preeeeow, world", is a reference to [[Wikipedia:Hello world program|"hello world" programs]].
*The song Homestar sings is a parody of the [http://users.pandora.be/soundtrack-fm/Reviews/Klaus_Doldinger/neverending_story/neverending_story.htm theme song] of the 1984 fantasy movie [[IMDB:tt0088323|The NeverEnding Story]], which he previously sang in [[anything]].
*[[Mountain Dew]], Mello Yello, Sierra Mist, Fresca and Surge are all real world citrus flavored sodas that apparently exist in the Homestar Runner universe.
*Tastykakes are snack cakes made by the Tasty Baking Company in Philidelphia since 1914. Available for the most part only in the Eastern section of the US, the cakes are often shipped to people now in other parts of the world who grew up with the treats while living in the East.
*The football Homestar dribbles in the gym is an old ball from the defunct XFL football league.

==External Links==
{{sbemailextlinks|173|11656}}

{{Strong Bad Email}}

One Two, One Two

Free Bagels — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 20:16:58 GMT

Free Bagels: /* Homestar does say it in time during certain parts. */

{{toonnav|Shorts|onetwo|Sbemail 169 Deleted Scene|Strong Bad Sings}}
[[Image:One Two.png|thumb|"One, two, one, two..."]]

A music video composed of sounds made by all the main characters.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Homestar Runner}}, {{Film|Strong Mad}}, {{Film|The Cheat}}, {{Film|The Poopsmith}}, {{Film|Bubs}}, {{Film|Strong Sad}}, {{Film|Coach Z}}, {{Film|The King of Town}}, {{Film|Pom Pom}}, {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|Homsar}}, {{Film|Marzipan}}

'''Places:''' [[The Field]], [[The King of Town's Grill]], [[The King of Town's Castle]], [[Bubs' Concession Stand]], [[Gymnasium]], [[Marshmallow's Last Stand (place)|Marshmallow's Last Stand]], [[Club Technochocolate]], [[Bathroom of the Brothers Strong]], [[Outer Space]]

'''Date:''' Monday, May 28, 2007

'''Running Time:''' 1:31

'''Page Title:''' Lookout World!

==Transcript==
''{Open to Homestar walking in The Field.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' One, two, one, two, one, two, one, two... ''{continues in background}''

''{Cut to Strong Mad lifting the cover off The King of Town's grill to reveal The Cheat.}''

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{angry The Cheat noise}''

''{Strong Mad replaces the cover; his reflection is clearly visible}''

'''STRONG MAD:''' GAH!

''{This set of sounds continues in the background; cut to The Poopsmith patting a pile of whatsit. As he does, noises are generated.}''

''{Noise continues in background again; cut back to Strong Mad.}''

'''STRONG MAD:''' GAH!

''{All three noises are still playing in background; cut to Bubs using a meat grinder to grind various things into sausages}''

'''BUBS:''' Ooh! Ah! A-rink-a-dink-a-dink-a-dink-a-dink-a-dink-a-dink-a-dink-a...

''{Cut to a 4-way screen split of the four scenes currently going on, sound effects continue.}''

''{Cut back to The Poopsmith. He continues to make noises with the whatsit. Cut to Strong Sad and Coach Z in the gymnasium.}''

'''STRONG SAD:''' Here I go! ''{pats his belly to make noise; scoreboard buzzes}''

'''COACH Z:''' Atta boy!

''{This continues in the background; cut to The King of Town eating marshmallows.}''

'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{eating noises}''

''{Eating noises continue in the background; cut back to Homestar Runner walking.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' One, two...

''{Cut to Coach Z and Strong Sad.}''

'''COACH Z:''' Atta boy!

''{Cut to Pom Pom at Club Technochocolate; he is throwing 100 dollar bills into the air, making bouncing noises.}''

''{Sound effects continue in the background; cut to Bubs}''

'''BUBS:''' A-rink-a-dink-a-dink-a-dink-a-dink...

''{Cut to Strong Bad in the shower, using a showerbrush as a microphone.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' I'm a woman on the prowl and I stick up for myself! The city is at night and I'm-

''{Cut to a 3-way screen split of Pom Pom, Strong Mad and The Cheat, and Homestar.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' -''dancin'!'' ''Dancin'!''

''{Cut back to Strong Bad}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' Homsar solo!

''{All sound effects temporarily cease; cut to Homsar in a starry background.}''

'''HOMSAR:''' ''{vaguely similar to the song Strong Bad was singing}''
AaAaAaA! OurAaAaA! ''{his hat floats around the screen}'' UrAaAaAaA, Uwarwarwarwar! A-way-way-way-waa!

''{All sound effects resume; cut to Marzipan playing Carol.}''

'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{guitar riff}''

''{Sound effects continue; cut to a 4-way screen split of Pom Pom, Bubs, Marzipan and Homestar. Cut to Strong Bad.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Look out world! I'm an independent girl!

''{On each of the next 5 beats, we cut to The Poopsmith, Strong Sad and Coach Z, The King of Town, Strong Mad and The Cheat, and then Pom Pom.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Rollin' around like a motorcade!

''{Cut to a 4-way vertical screen split of Homsar, The King of Town, Marzipan and Homestar. Then cut to Bubs.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Look out world!

''{Cut to a 4-way screen split of Strong Mad and The Cheat, Strong Bad, Strong Sad and Coach Z, and Pom Pom}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm an independent girl! ''{sound effects stop; zoom in on Strong Bad's square}'' ''{out of key}'' You can meet me down at the arcade! ''{no longer singing}'' Whoa. Need to get the acoustics checked out in here. ''{taps the brush he is holding, making a sound like tapping a microphone}'' Is this thing broken?

''{fade out}''

''{The word "END." appears with "MIX YOUR OWN STYLE" written under it. Click on "MIX YOUR OWN STYLE" to go to the [[MixMastah 800]].}''

==Fun Facts==
===Explanations===
*A [[wikipedia:Motorcade|motorcade]] is a procession of cars leading a VIP, usually a political figure, down a main road.

===Trivia===
*When this toon was first released, the MixMastah was loaded into the toon's Flash file, and would automatically appear at the end. Later on, the toon was modified to make the user click a link in order to reach the MixMastah in a separate page instead.
*The items Bubs grinds into sausages include (in order) a [[steak]], a tennis ball, and a [[General Tso's Chicken|Chinese food]] carton.
*Marzipan is the only main character whose face is not shown in this short.

===Remarks===
*Homestar doesn't always say "one, two" in perfect time with his walking.
*The [[Showering|shower]] Strong Bad is in looks exactly like the one on [[Main Page 14]].
*Bubs is making sausages that are already in their casings and split into links by using nothing but a meat grinder. In real life, one has to stuff the casings and twist them into sausages after grinding the meat.
*Strong Bad wears a shower cap even though he said in [[haircut]] that he doesn't have any hair.
*The [[The King of Town's grill|grill]] makes a shutting sound even when Strong Mad opens it.
*[[Carol]] looks like a classical guitar, but is apparently an [[Wikipedia:Electric acoustic guitar|electric acoustic guitar]], capable of producing a distorted tone much like an [[Characters' Instruments#Electric Guitar|electric guitar]].
*Even though Strong Bad is in the shower the entire time he is singing, the sound of the shower running doesn't play until the very end of the toon.



===Goofs===
*The scoreboard is incorrect both times when the scene returns to Strong Sad and Coach Z toward the end. It should read 18 and then 20, but instead reads it 13 and then 18.

*In some shots when Strong Mad is lifting the lid off the Cheat's house, part of the reflection of his legs in the grill is cut off.

===Fixed Goofs===
*When released, this toon had an "Again?" button, but clicking it would cause all the sounds from the MixMastah to continue playing with the replayed toon. This was fixed with the removal of the "Again?" button.
*Before, at one part when The King of Town is eating his marshmallows one would appear to go under and outside his mustache when he eats it.
*In the MixMastah, Pom Pom's sound effect loop also included The Poopsmith's loop. This was fixed when the MixMastah was separated from the main toon.
*At one point, during a cut to Strong Sad and Coach Z, the score on the scoreboard changed from 12 to 2 for a single frame before changing to 13. Also, when it was 13, it just barely stuck out of the box. This has been corrected.


===Inside References===
[[Image:Sketchbook060727.png|thumb|Keep on trucking!]]
*Homestar Runner's animation is based on a [[Sketchbook 2006#SK-2006-07-27|Weekly Sketchbook]] image, and was previously shown at the [[Georgia Tech - 26 Apr 2007|Georgia Tech talk]]. A [[graffiti]] image of Coach Z seen behind Strong Sad was also from a [[Sketchbook#SK-2007-05-24|Sketchbook]] image.
*The starry background in the Homsar solo was previously seen in an Easter egg in [[ghosts]].
*This is another example of the word [[style]].
*Striking Strong Sad's belly also scores points in the [[Peg Strong Sad]] game.

===Real-World References===
*The way Homestar walks references the iconic [http://www.zubeworld.com/crumbmuseum/truckin.html "Truckin'"] images by [[Wikipedia:Robert Crumb|R. Crumb]].
* The 'Fightin' Coach Z's' logo and the 180-degree angle of Coach Z's feet resemble [[Wikipedia:Notre Dame Fighting Irish football|Notre Dame]]'s 'Fighting Irish' logo.
*Pom Pom's money throwing is a reference to the "Makin' It Rain" technique employed by rappers.

==See Also==
*[[MixMastah 800]]

== External Links ==
* [[HR:onetwo.html|watch "One Two, One Two"]]
* [[HR:onetwo.swf|view the Flash file for "One Two, One Two"]]
* [[HR:onetwomixer.html|view the "MixMastah 800"]]
* [[HR:onetwomixer.swf|view the Flash file for the "MixMastah 800"]]
* [[Forum:11543|forum thread re: "One Two, One Two"]]

{{subtitlesLinks|onetwo}}
[[Category:Shorts]] [[Category:Songs]]

HRWiki:Introduction

Free Bagels — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 23:54:43 GMT

Free Bagels: changed the test edits thing to link to the sandbox.

Please practice editing in the [[HRWiki:Sandbox|Sandbox]].

Stinkoman 20X6 Enemies and Items

Free Bagels — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 23:29:20 GMT

Free Bagels: /* fixed a grammatical error */

There are an abundance of enemies and items in the game [[Stinkoman 20X6]].
== Enemies ==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Name !! Image !! Description !! Shots to kill !! Level
|-id="jaro"
| Jaro || align="center" | [[Image:Jaro.PNG]] || '''Jaro''' is a small, jumping robot that can be destroyed in one hit. || 1 || 1,5,6,-0
|-id="greggo"
| Greggo || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-greggo.gif]] || '''Greggo''' is a robot that walks back and forth on its platform. It crouches and becomes immobile and invulnerable when you face it, but if you can hit it while facing away, one hit will take it out. One way to kill Greggo is to stand a distance away, shoot at it, and then quickly turn to face the other way while your shot travels toward it. || 1 || 1,-0
|-id="browntant"
| Browntant || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-browntant.png]] [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-bluetant.gif]] || '''Browntant''' is a stationary robot that shoots straight forward every few seconds. It takes three hits to kill. A blue variety can be found in levels 6 and -0, identical to the original Browntant in every way except color. || 3 || 1,2,5,6,-0
|- id="chorch"
| Chorch || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-chorch.gif]] || '''Chorch''' is a robot that flies back and forth above ground. Don't allow it to pinch you! It takes one hit to destroy this enemy. || 1 || 1,2,5,6, -0
|-id="kolkaryu"
| Kolkaryu || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-kolkaryu.gif]] || '''Kolkaryu''' is a small flying saucer that appears out of the sky in specific places. It hovers for a moment, shoots two downward bursts of four bullets each, then flies away. It is invulnerable to your attacks — just stand or jump out of the way, or stand directly beneath it to avoid its bullets. || inv. || 1,2,5,-0
|-id="pooru-pooru"
| Pooru-Pooru || align="center" | [[Image:Pooru-Pooru.png]] || '''Pooru-Pooru''' is a spiky cucumber, planted firmly in the ground, usually in groups. Touching it will cause you to take damage, so jump over it or otherwise avoid it if possible. || inv. || 1,2,3,-0
|-id="old_sage"
| Old Sage || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-old_sage.png]] || '''Old Sage''' is a sharp, stationary spike, usually found in groups. Touching one of these causes you to die instantly, so be extremely careful around them. ''(Note: While fighting Ekersby, Old Sages only cost you one unit of energy.)'' || inv. || 1,2,4,5,7, -0
|-id="terrell"
| Terrell || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-terrell-ground.png]] [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-terrell-jump.png]] || '''Terrell''' is just a loose chick head that bounces around, easily defeated in one shot. || 1 || 2,-0
|-id="grundy"
| Grundy || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-grundy.gif]] || '''Grundy''' is a wingless chicken wearing running shoes. It walks back and forth on its platform, occasionally speeding up and slowing down. You can kill it in one easy shot, so it is a minor nuisance at most. || 1 || 2,-0
|- id="stobat"
| Stobat || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-stobat.gif]] || '''Stobat''' is a fat chicken with no visible feet. It blocks your path and spits out three bones every few seconds. It takes four hits to kill a Stobat, so time your shots well and step, jump or climb out of the way when it shoots its bones at you. || 4 || 2,-0
|-id="rose_blake"
| Rose Blake || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-rose_blake.png]] || '''Rose Blake''' is an electric burner. Don't step on it when it's white-hot and flashing. Learn its pattern to gain safe passage. || inv. || 2,-0
|-id="lundsford"
| Lundsford || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-lundsford.png]] || '''Lundsford''' is a small flame from a gas burner. Just like Rose Blake, you should learn its pattern so that you can walk or jump over it safely. || inv. || 2,-0
|-id="tortan"
| Tortan || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-tortan.png]] || '''Tortan''' is a bottle of itself according to the [[Stinkomanual]]. It is a green liquid that drips out of bottles (of itself) and will cause damage if it drips on you. || inv. || 2
|- id="clowder"
| Clowder || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-clowder.png]] || '''Clowder''' is an angry cloud, which had a propeller up until Version 7.1. You cannot kill it, so just avoid it. || inv. || 3
|-id="mr._ubbers"
| Mr. Ubbers || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-mrubbers.gif]] || '''Mr. Ubbers''' is an angry raindrop that falls from above in stage 3.1. It can't hurt you, but if you punch it, it will disappear in a splash and produce a gold nugget, which you must collect to pass the level. || 1 || 3
|-id="poorbt"
| Poorbt || align="center" | [[Image:Porrbt-Run.gif]] || '''Poorbt''' is a small humanoid that runs in from offscreen, shoots at you, and then runs away again. In Levels 4.1 and 4.2, you can block his shots with your giant fist. || 1 || 4,-0
|-id="gokul"
| Gokul || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-gokul.png]] || '''Gokul''' is a pile of junk and red goo that blocks 1-Up's path in Levels 4.1 and 4.2. Kill it by crushing it with rocks sent down by your mighty fist. || 1 || 4,-0
|-id="gaspeau"
| Gaspeau  || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-gaspeau.png]] || '''Gaspeau''' is a seeker drone that flies in only one direction. Kill it in the same way as Gokul. || 1 || 4,-0
|-id="pink_cham_cham"
| Pink Cham Cham || align="center" | [[Image:pinkchamcham.gif]] || '''Pink Cham Cham''' is a double-ended laser gun rolled in green coconut. It fires its lasers upwards at Stinkoman, but you can easily block them with your giant fist. Destroy it by smashing the floor above it, while keeping yourself out of the lasers' range. || 1 || 4,-0
|-id="frotzer"
| Frotzer  || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-frotzer.png]] || '''Frotzer''' is a red version of Gaspeau that flies back and forth over a short distance. || 1 || 4,6,-0,
|-id="astromund"
| Astromund || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-astromund.gif|center]] || '''Astromund''' runs toward 1-Up in Level 5. Its shield protects it from 1-Up's frontal attacks - just jump over it, kicking it from behind if you wish. ''(Note: In Level -0, Stinkoman can shoot Astromunds from the front.)'' || 1 || 5,-0
|-id="the_bendini_sisters"
| The Bendini Sisters || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-bendinisister.png|center]] || '''The Bendini Sisters''' are meteors that fall regularly on the moon. Dodge them and don't let them hit you. ''(Note: In Level -0, arrow Platforms can also crash down from above - see '''Other Hazards''' below.)'' || inv. || 5,-0
|-id="downtant.2Fuptant"
| Downtant/Uptant || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-uptant.gif|center]] || '''Downtants''' and '''Uptants''' are related to the Browntant. They only take two hits to kill, but these turrets shoot a spread of five shots at a time, making them dangerous in groups. || 2 || 5,-0
|-id="piedmont"
| Piedmont || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-piedmont.gif|center]] || '''Piedmont''' is a scanner that fires deadly beams of light underneath it. You can't hurt it so dash under it while it is inactive. Touching Piedmont itself doesn't hurt you, so long as it isn't firing its beam at the time. || inv. || 5,-0
|-id="stafulter"
| Stafulter || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-plug.gif]] || '''Stafulter''' is a giant electrical plug that flies around in a fixed pattern. It is invincible and must be avoided at all costs.  || inv. || 6,-0
|-id="protek"
| Protek || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-socket.png]] || '''Protek''' is a giant electrical socket that jumps up and down on its cord, blocking your path. After taking two hits, its cord disappears and it sits there shooting lightning bolts at you (one from each socket), forcing you to jump over each bolt separately. It takes 3 more shots to destroy Protek. While bouncing, touching Protek's cord costs you '''2 units''' of health, while the sockets themselves are harmless. When the cord disappears, the sockets deal 2 units of damage, and the bolts cost you 1. || 5 || 6,-0
|-id="postlethwaite"
| Postlethwaite || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-cloud.gif]] || '''Postlethwaites''' are black storm clouds that move back and forth and strike lightning every few seconds. Get out of their way quickly! || inv. || 6,-0
|-id="porchi"
| Porchi || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-blade.gif|center]] || '''Porchi''' is a buzzsaw that comes out of the clouds at regular intervals. It can't be harmed, so run under it or jump over it while it's retracted. || inv. || 6,-0
|-id="hash-haw"
| Hash-Haw || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-saw.gif|center]] || '''Hash-Haw''' is a saw blade that cuts back and forth along your path. Like Porchi, your best bet is to run under it or jump over it. It is easiest to avoid when it's moving toward you. || inv. || 6,-0
|-id="my_benj"
| My Benj || align="center" | [[Image:StinkomanBlob.PNG|center]] || '''My Benj''' slide back and forth randomly on their platforms. They can be destroyed with one hit each, but their small size makes them difficult to kill. || 1 || 7,-0
|-id="stothos"
| Stothos || align="center" | [[Image:StinkomanRobot.PNG|center]] || '''Stothos''' is a small tank that moves back and forth across its platform, shooting lasers in both directions. The lasers are high enough to make avoidance difficult, so be very careful! Stothos takes three shots to kill. || 3 || 7,-0
|-id="fullbide"
| Fullbide || align="center" | [[Image:StinkomanShip.PNG|40PX|center]] || '''Fullbide''' is a small ship-like enemy that flies in a zig-zag pattern toward Stinkoman when he enters its territory. It can be killed in one hit, but it will continue attacking until it's destroyed. || 1 || 7,-0
|-id="ditmars"
| Ditmars || align="center" | [[Image:StinkomanFreeze.PNG|50px|center]] || '''Ditmars''' will freeze Stinkoman temporarily, causing you to lose control of him and ultimately costing him a unit of energy. They cannot be destroyed. || inv. || 7
|-id="seeper_mo"
| Seeper Mo || align="center" | [[Image:StinkomanBush.PNG|center]] || '''Seeper Mo''' is essentially the same as Pooru-Pooru: You can't kill it, it doesn't move, and touching it costs you a unit of energy. Jump over these icy spikes, but be careful not to slide into the next one when you find them in groups! || inv. || 7,-0
|-id="biztar"
| Biztar || align="center" | [[Image:BiztarAnimated.gif|center]] || '''Biztars''' are large blocks of ice that serve as platforms or obstacles. They are just obstructions. You can destroy them with six hits. || 6 || 7,-0
|-id="cabbage"
| ''Unknown'' || align="center" | [[Image:Unreleased_StinkoBaddie.PNG]] || This enemy is a cabbage-like creature that periodically opens up and shoots out two red balls. Only the left ball can hurt you - the other one is harmless. You can destroy it with one hit only while it is open. ''(Note: While this creature has only appeared in Level -0, it has been in the object library since the first version of the game. It is not covered in the Stinkomanual.)'' || 1 || -0
|-id="prudench"
| Prudench || align="center" | [[Image:Stinkogame-Enemy-Prudench.PNG]] || A '''Prudench''' is a flying shrimp that usually attacks in groups. Kill it with one hit. || 1 || 9
|-id="dolmerlay"
| Dolmerlay || align="center" | [[Image:Dolmerlay.PNG]] [[Image:dolmerlay.png]] || A '''Dolmerlay''' is a robot oyster that shoots three pearls at a time. Wait until it's open to shoot it. || 1 || 9
|-id="roldhap"
| Roldhap || align="center" | [[Image:Stinkogame-Enemy-Roldhap.PNG]] || '''Roldhaps''' are cyborg anemones that shoot at you. Except for their appearance, they are identical to Uptants and Downtants. || 2 || 9
|-id="semulade"
| Semulade || align="center" | [[Image:Stinkogame-Enemy-Semulade.PNG]] || A '''Semulade''' is a mechanical shark that attempts to sneak up from the edge of the screen and then charge at you. It takes two hits to kill. || 2 || 9
|-id="fundlake"
| Fundlake || align="center" | [[Image:Stinkogame-Enemy-Fundlake.PNG]] || A '''Fundlake''' is a coral that blocks your path. It disappears with just one shot, but it reappears quickly, so be careful! || 1 || 9
|-id="sackastano"
| Sackastano || align="center" | [[Image:Stinkogame-Enemy-Sackastano.PNG]] || '''Sackastanos''' are cyborg goldfish that travel in schools like Prudenches. They take three hits to kill, but are only invincible very briefly between hits. They have only appeared once in level 9. || 3 || 9
|-id="quorvekt"
| Quorvekt || align="center" | [[Image:Stinkogame-Enemy-Quorvekt.PNG]] || '''Quorvekts''' are cyborg manta rays that stay in front of you and move vertically to shoot at you. They take three hits each to kill. || 3 || 9
|-id="bloodacre"
| Broodacre || align="center" | [[Image:Broodacre.PNG]] || A '''Broodacre''' is a small volcano that shoots two rocks at a time. Learn to predict its eruption patterns. || inv. || 9
|-id="reid"
| Reid || align="center" | [[Image:reid.png]] || '''Reids''' are cyborg jellyfish that fly in schools. Shoot them twice to kill them. || 2 || 9
|-id="octopus"
| ''Unknown'' || align="center" | [[Image:Stinkogame-Enemy-Reid.PNG]] || This cyborg octopus enemy flies in circular patterns, usually as part of a group, and it takes three hits to kill. It is not covered in the Stinkomanual. || 3 || 9
|}

== Other Hazards ==
These are hazards which are in the game but not named in the manual, so the names here aren't official.
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Name !! Image !! Description !! Level
|-id="drill"
| Drill || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-drill.png|center]] || '''Drills''' come out of both the floor and the ceiling. Avoid them! || 1,2,6,-0
|-id="trapdoor"
| Trapdoor || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-trapdoor.gif|center]] || A '''Trapdoor''' is a platform that alternates between the up and down positions. Get on as soon as it flips up, and be sure to jump to your destination before it flips down again! In Level -0, these platforms are safe only when they appear to be in the down position. || 1,2,5,6,7, -0
|-id="spork"
| Spork || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-spork-down.png]] [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-spork-up.png]] || '''Sporks''' come up out of the ground in a cycle, and will hurt you even when they're down. Jump over them when they're down to avoid getting hurt. || 2,-0
|-id="conveyor_belt"
| Conveyor Belt || align="center" | [[Image:Conveyor Belt.PNG]] || '''Conveyor Belts''' are stationary platforms that carry you left or right. They can help or hinder your progress. The large conveyor belt on Stlunko occasionally switches directions. || 3,5,-0,
|-id="lava-fall"
| Lava-fall || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-lavafall.png|center]] || '''Lava-falls''' are prevalent in the Lava Zone, and you must block them with your giant fist to prevent 1-Up from getting burned. In Level -0, they do nothing. || 4,-0
|-id="tiles_and_platforms"
| Tiles & Platforms || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-tile.png|center]] [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-platform.png|center]] || In the Lava Zone, jump on a '''Tile''' to move its corresponding '''Platform''', catching and carrying 1-Up to safety. Some Tiles control multiple Platforms, so pay attention! In Level -0, green Tiles act as teleporters, and Platforms crash down from the sky like the Bendini Sisters. || 4,-0
|-id="evaporating_clouds"
| Evaporating Clouds || align="center" | [[Image:Evaporating cloud.PNG|center]] || '''Evaporating Clouds''' disappear quickly when you jump on them. They reappear a short time later. They have a blue tint, so you can tell them apart from regular clouds. Be careful not to stay on them for too long! || 6, -0
|-id="retractable_ladder"
| Retractable Ladder || align="center" | [[Image:StinkomanLadder.PNG|center]] || '''Retractable Ladders''', as their name suggest, extend and retract periodically, frequently causing them to be temporarily out of reach. || 7,-0
|-id="poison_capsule"
| Poison Capsule || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-false_capsule.gif|center]] || A '''Poison Capsule''' damages you rather than restoring your energy. Don't be fooled! || -0
|-id="spike_coral"
| Spike Coral || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame enemy spiny.png]] || '''Spike Corals''' are dangerous hazards that spear out from the bottom or top of the caverns in Level 9. They retract after striking, but sometimes they can fool you by retracting only a short distance before extending again. Touching a Spike Coral costs you one unit of energy if you aren't protected by a shield. || 9
|}

== Items ==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Name !! Image !! Description !! Level
|-id="capsule"
|Capsule|| align="center" | [[Image:stinkoman-capsule.gif]] || '''Capsules''' are scattered throughout the levels and fully restore your health. || 1, 2, 5, 6, 7, -0, 9
|-id="extra_life"
|Extra Life || align="center" | [[Image:StinkomanLife.PNG|center]] || Collecting Stinkoman's face awards you one extra life. || 7,-0,9
|-id="gold_nugget"
| Gold Nugget || align="center" | [[Image:gold_nugget.jpg]]|| Each time you kill a Mr. Ubbers in Level 3.1, a '''Gold Nugget''' pops out. Collecting 20 nuggets lets you advance to the next stage. || 3
|-id="bread"
| Bread || align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-bread.png]] || '''Bread''' is the one item you want to pick up in Level 3.2. Touching it will give you one point. || 3
|-id="apple.2C_ear.2C_soap.2C_p"
| Apple, Ear, Soap, and P || align="center" nowrap | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-apple.png]] [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-ear.png]] [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-soap.png]] [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-p.png]] || In Level 3.2, touching any of these items costs you one point. || 3
|-id="shield"
| Shield || align="center" | [[Image:shield.png]] || In level 9, you can use '''Shields''' to briefly protect you from enemies and obstacles. Shield pickups are scattered throughout the levels. || 9
|}

== Bosses ==
{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="border-collapse:collapse"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Name !! Image !! Description !! Shots to kill !! Level
|- id="tampo"
| Tampo
| align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-tampo.png]]
| '''Tampo's''' brain comes back to challenge you at the end of Level 1 for revenge. Its weak point is its cerebellum (the red ball at the base of the brain). Wait for Tampo to move down to the ground, then jump up and shoot the cerebellum. When it shoots from the ground, just stand in place to avoid its mind shots. Move all the way to the far edge of the screen and jump over its mind shots when it fires from the air. Tampo takes 7 hits to kill. The more hits it takes, the faster it gets, so be careful.

For more information, see the [[Stinkoman 20X6 Walkthrough Level 1#Level 1 Boss: Tampo (Guide)|Level 1 Walkthrough]].
| 7
| 1
|-id="brody"
| Brody
| align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-brody_head.png]] [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-brody_feet.png]]
| '''Brody''' is a giant chicken who tries to stomp you with his feet 6 times, then pecks at you with his beak. Just shoot Brody's eye when it appears. Brody takes 5 hits to kill.

For more information, see the [[Stinkoman 20X6 Walkthrough Level 2#Level 2 Boss: Brody (Guide)|Level 2 Walkthrough]].
| 5
| 2
|-id="stlunko"
| Stlunko
| align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-stlunko.png|300px]]
| '''Stlunko''' is the robot hidden underneath the wall that Stinkoman jumps over in Level 3. It has a large conveyor belt that periodically switches directions, and it attempts to crush you with its giant fists. To defeat Stlunko, shoot the wall on its head until all four sections have been destroyed - 16 hits in all.

For more information, see the [[Stinkoman 20X6 Walkthrough Level 3#Level 3 Boss: Stlunko (Guide)|Level 3 Walkthrough]].
| 16
| 3
|-id="saargtsson"
| Saargtsson & Firey-Hot
| align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-saargtsson.png]] [[Image:Firey_Hot.PNG]]
| '''Saargtsson''' is a dragon-like boss that jumps up from the lava and shoots lasers at you, while its flame jet friend ('''Firey-Hot''') shoots at you at random places from the roof. Only the end of its tail is vulnerable. Each segment takes two hits, and the head takes 3 hits, for a total of 15. Firey-Hot is invulnerable.

For more information, see the [[Stinkoman 20X6 Walkthrough Level 4#Level 4 Boss: Saargtsson (Guide)|Level 4 Walkthrough]].
| 15
| 4
|-id="nebulon"
| Nebulon
| align="center" | [[Image:Neb-1.PNG|250px|center]]
| '''[[Nebulon]]''' is a large green space alien that shoots energy bullets out of his mouth in random directions. Each time you damage him, he blows you backwards and starts shooting bullets out the number of times you have attacked him, plus one additional energy bullet. To beat him, you need to hit his eyes 4 times each. In total, he takes 8 hits to destroy.

For more information, see the [[Stinkoman 20X6 Walkthrough Level 5#Level 5 Boss: Nebulon (Guide)|Level 5 Walkthrough]].
| 8
| 5
|-id="the_liekand"
|The Liekand
| align="center" | [[Image:stinkogame-enemy-tornado.png|center]]
| '''The Liekand''' is a giant tornado with sunglasses that shoots out 3 bubbles and then jumps across the screen. Each time it shoots bubbles (except for the first time), it also tries to suck you in. Every third time it jumps across the screen, it stops in the center and causes lightning bolts to fall. When you get The Liekand down to 4 shots, he will start shooting 5 bubbles at you. Its sunglasses are its weak spot. He takes 14 hits to kill.

For more information, see the [[Stinkoman 20X6 Walkthrough Level 6#Level 6 Boss: The Liekand (Guide)|Level 6 Walkthrough]].
| 14
| 6
|-id="an_ice_machine"
|An Ice Machine
| align="center" | [[Image:Better An Ice Machine.png|center]]
| '''An Ice Machine''' is, as its name suggests, a giant ice machine. It shoots ice cubes at you while shooting ice jets at the platform in front of it. After shooting several ice cubes, it turns off its jets and starts shooting ice into the air, causing icicles to fall from the sky. Shoot it 7 times in the eyes while it's shooting icicles to defeat it.

For more information, see the [[Stinkoman 20X6 Walkthrough Level 7#Level 7 Boss: An Ice Machine (Guide)|Level 7 Walkthrough]].
| 7
| 7
|-id="exersby"
|Ekersby
| align="center" | [[Image:level8boss.PNG|center|200px]]
| '''Ekersby''' is a robot formed from a pile of glitchy junk. It staggers back and forth, shooting bullets from its Uptants and Downtants and spearing the top platform with the two Sporks on its head. To damage it, you must hit the refrigerator at its stomach while it's open, and each time you damage it, the door opens from the opposite side of the glitch robot. You cannot kill the turrets, so carefully avoid their shots. The Browntants are just for decoration, so they don't shoot. Ekersby takes 6 shots to kill.

For more information, see the [[Stinkoman 20X6 Walkthrough Level -0#Level -0 Boss: Ekersby (Guide)|Level -0 Walkthrough]].
| 6
| -0
|-id="harvax_xvii"
|Harvax XVII
| align="center" | [[Image:harvaxxvii.png|125px|center]]
| '''Harvax XVII''' is a giant hovering gangster robot that shoots bullets at you with a tommy gun. Every third round of bullets, he charges at you. You must dodge his shots and get out of the way (using shields if necessary) when he charges. Shoot him in the mouth 15 times while it is open to defeat him.

According to the [[Stinkomanual]], Harvax XVII is a small but speedy octopus or squid, though Harvax himself claims in his quote: "That description is ALL WRONG!"

For more information, see the [[Stinkoman 20X6 Walkthrough Level 9#Level 9 Boss: Harvax XVII (Guide)|Level 9 Walkthrough]].
| 15
| 9
|}
{{Template:Stinkoman 20X6}}
[[Category:Stinkoman 20X6]]
[[Category: 20X6 Characters]]

Dangeresque (character)

Free Bagels — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 12:21:48 GMT

Free Bagels: /* Complete Filmography */

[[Image:Dangeresque.PNG|thumb|Looks like he's gonna have to jump.]]
{{aboutcharacter}} {{for-nothe|other uses|Dangeresque}}

Whether he's a private eye, a crooked cop, a secret agent or a celebrity pharmacist, nobody sticks it to the man like '''Dangeresque''', [[Strong Bad]]'s [[Wikipedia:Shaft (1971 movie)|Shaft]]-esque film persona. This cool dude plays both sides of the law, gets all the ladies, and doesn't pull no punches. He wears cool, cool glasses, and works alone, except when he works with [[Renaldo]], which is all the time. He also seems to have to jump a lot—to escape danger, to avoid embarrassment, or just to get out of his office.

==Fun Facts==
*Dangeresque's cool glasses may be [[Wikipedia:Aviator sunglasses|aviators]], a type of sunglasses popular in the '70s.

==Complete Filmography==

*'''Debut:''' Email [[stunt double]]
*Email [[dangeresque 3]]
*Email [[rock opera]] (easter egg)
*Email [[disconnected]] (referenced)
*Email [[alternate universe]] (referenced)
*Email [[the movies]] (referenced)
*[[DNA Evidence]] (referenced)

[[Category:Dangeresque Characters]]

pop-up

Free Bagels — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 12:16:50 GMT

Free Bagels: /* Remarks */

{{sbenav|146|myths & legends|lady fan}}
[[Image:Sbemail146.png|thumb|right|It was the book of my dreeeeams!]]
Strong Bad shows us his own Strong Bad [[Wikipedia:Pop-up book|pop-up book]].

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|The Cheat}}, {{Film|Strong Sad}}, {{Film|Gavin}}, {{Film|Homestar Runner}}, [[The Tire]], {{Film|Bubs}} (Easter egg)

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]]

{{Comp|Lappy 486}}

'''Date:''' Monday, February 20, 2006

'''Running Time:''' 3:12

'''Page Title:''' Lappy 486

{{dvd|strongbad_email.exe Disc Five}}

==Transcript==

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{rapping}'' I was born to check emails and eat lots of cake!

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: dream book</div>
Dear Strong Bad, 
I had a dream that my friend had a Strong Bad 
pop-up book. It was the book of my dreams. 
Kat 
Spokane, Wash.
</blockquote>

''{After reading the main part of the email once, Strong Bad repeats it twice as a rap. He says "Wash." as the word "wash".}'' 

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises from offscreen}''

''{Cut back to show The Cheat next to his keyboard}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, all right. One more time.

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{approving The Cheat noises}''

''{Strong Bad jumps on his stool and dances as The Cheat plays on his keyboard and dances.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{rapping}'' I had a dream that my friend had a Strong Bad pop-up book! It was the book of my dreeeams! ''{on "dreams", he jumps up, almost hits the ceiling, and lands on his stool}'' There you go, little one. Now get back in there and win me a car!

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{affirmative The Cheat noises; he salutes and rushes off.}''

''{Cut back to the Lappy}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' You know, I feel like that sentence could really apply to anything. ''{moves the cursor up to "pop-up book" and replaces it with "salad".}'' Like, uh, "I had a dream that my friend had a Strong Bad salad. ''{scrolls over toward the other "book" and replaces it with "salad" as well.}'' It was the salad of my dreams." Or maybe like, ''{adds "taco" before each "salad"}'' "I had a dream that my friend had a Strong Bad taco salad. It was the taco salad of my dreams." ''{moves the cursor below the email, types}'' Anyways, a Strong Bad pop-up book. This sounds like a job for: makin' stuff up.

''{Cut to an image of a pop-up book. The inside cover reads "From the libarry  of D. Squirrel" with a dead squirrel drawn in. The first page reads "STRONG BAD'S POP-UP BOOK of your dreams by Strong Bad, for Strong Bad".}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' The Strong Bad pop-up book would obviously feature...

''{The page turns to show Strong Bad near two cherubs. The text reads "This is a good kid." A tab is seen under Strong Bad's head.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ...me hangin' out with some of those wing-a-ling babies! ''{The cherubs bob up and down}'' And I'd have a little tab on my flesh-tangle so you could make me talk! ''{As the pop-up Strong Bad, who waves his arms}'' You little almost-naked babies are so cute, I could just dip you in beer batter and fry you right up! ''{As the cherubs, who bob up and down}'' Okay, Mr. Strong Bad! ''{as himself}'' Oh! And don't forget the ab-tab!

''{The tab moves over and Strong Bad's chest obtains Sharpie abs. The page turns to reveal an image of a computer resembling the Tandy 400. On its screen is the message "HOW TYPE BOX GLOVES?" Two tabs are visible, one to the right of the screen and one on the keyboard. A speaker can also be seen on the keyboard.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey look! It's my crappy old computer! Asking the same crappy old questions!

''{The tab on the screen moves and the screen changes to "DELETED!!"}''

'''SPEAKER:''' ''{very indistinctly}'' Deleted!

'''STRONG BAD:''' The lake head? What does that mean?

''{The tab goes back, taking the screen with it, and changes to "DELETED!!" again.}''

'''SPEAKER:''' Deleted!

'''STRONG BAD:''' Police quest?! This thing is obviously broken.

''{The other tab is pulled, and smoke appears above the computer.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' No wonder I got rid of that old buncha beige.

''{The page turns. Strong Sad is seen covered in cement. A backhoe, cement mixer, and Strong Bad in a construction helmet are seen in the background. The text reads "Strong Sad is covered in Gray cement" with "Gray cement" in a box. A turning wheel is seen on the right, and another tab is seen at the bottom.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, look! Strong Sad has wandered onto my construction site. What sweet fate did I bestow on him from the cement mixer? ''{The wheel turns, the liquid on Strong Sad turns red, and the box reads "Ram's blood".}'' Ram's blood? ''{The wheel turns, the color becomes light yellow, and the box reads "Boston Cream".}'' Boston cream? ''{Again, to a transitional color and "Magic Eye".}'' Magic Eye? Don't forget the flab-tab! ''{The tab is pulled out, and Strong Sad's upper body flips down to make him look flabbier.}''

''{The page turns to a "NegativeZero" fridge. It has a sticky note on it that reads "2 more eggs!"}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' The next page is snack time! What am I gonna have to eat today?

''{The door opens to reveal a single burger patty with two pickle slices on it. A carton of "mmmilk", two eggs, a small paper box, a bottle of "pop!", and a jar of mayo are drawn onto the back.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa! A real-live burger! Do I get one of these every time I turn the page?!

''{The page turns back to Strong Sad, then to the fridge again. When the door opens this time, there are two burgers inside.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa! ''Two'' burgers! ''{Gavin appears from under a flap and crawls around a little}'' Clearly, this pop-up book ''{The fridge door closes, and Gavin crawls out from under it a moment later}'' is a source of unspeakable power.

''{Spooky jungle music plays. The page then turns to Homestar Runner's image, which has a black eye and two saws stuck through him.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Why look. It's the Homestar Runner! ''{pauses for a moment}'' Bye, the Homestar Runner!

''{The page turns to a [[lackey#Easter Eggs|StrongBad Libs]] version of Strong Bad and The Cheat in front of a cave. The sun can be seen overhead, and there's a tree in front of the cave. There's a tab above the cave and one at the bottom of the page.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{rapidly decreasing volume}'' SeeyalaterStrongBaaa...

''{A wheel under the cutouts of the sun rays starts moving back and forth.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Uh-oh! It looks like The Cheato Bandito has stolen all of Senor Muybueno's gold!

''{The tree flips down, revealing a pile of gold underneath.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Let's help him get some Cheat-tribution.

''{The lower tab is pulled and pushed back several times, and as it does, "Senor Muybueno"'s foot rises and "The Cheato Bandito" moves upward. "Senor Muybueno"'s head also looks up in the process.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Boot 'em up, boot 'em up, boot 'em up, y'all. This is like kicking The Cheat light! All of the flavor, with only half the chance of rabies!

''{The upper tab is pulled, and a bear pokes down in the cave. The tree goes back to normal, and the page turns. Strong Bad's head, with flashing lights for eyes, is in the center. Two towers with ropes between them, and The Tire hanging from them, are in the upper-left, with a sliding tab below it. A "Cold One" is seen to the right of that, with a turn wheel above it. Near it is the BMW Lighter, with a pull tab to its right. A box is in the lower right. A cherub over a "FAT FRYER" is in the lower left, with a tab to its left. In the background, it reads "Slide! Spin! Grasp! Pull! His Head! Tap the flabs! Pull!!!" near each object.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' And the last page would be a veritable cornucop-pourri of pop-up mastery!

''{The various objects all move. The Tire simply falls off its wires. The Cold One has its label replaced over and over. The BMW opens up with a flame, and closes. The box flips over, revealing the same box tipped the other way. The cherub moves into and out of the fryer.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' There'd be tabs and flaps, flabs and taps, the string thing that doesn't work, and some more sound chips and dips.

'''SPEAKER:''' Holy crap!

'''STRONG BAD:''' Sounds like they improved on the technology since page 2! Aaaaaand, don't forget the crap-flap!

''{A flap turns down with a pile of whatsit underneath. Cut back to the Lappy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' So now the pop-up book is primed and ready for the four year-old, or The Cheat, in your life to use as a tissue! That thing'll provide seconds of non-ripped apart fun! Speaking of seconds, I'm gonna go eat my burgers.

''{He leaves. [[The Paper]] comes down.}''

==Easter Eggs==

*Click ''Kat Spokane, Wash.'' after [[Strong Bad]] raps for [[The Cheat]] to reveal a [[Beverly Sportsinterviews]] book titled ''[["Cat," spoke Anne, "Wash!"]]''.
*Click on the pop-up [[Tandy 400]] after Strong Bad says "The Lake Head" to see a comparison between Strong Sad's head and [[Wikipedia:Manicouagan Reservoir|Manicouagan Reservoir]] in Quebec, a circular lake formed by a meteor impact in the late Triassic.
*At the end, click ''The Cheat'' to see a clip of The Cheat, Strong Sad, and Bubs playing dominoes. Bubs is [[smoking]] a cigar.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Oh, The Cheat wins again. Pay up.
:'''BUBS:''' Well, she's all yours! ''{He hands The Cheat a car key. The Cheat squeals in happiness and does a dance.}''

==Fun Facts==

===Explanations===

*While the name "Senor Muybueno" has no inherent meaning by itself, the corrected Spanish name "Señor Muy Bueno" would be equivalent to "Mister Very Good" in English.

[[Image:magiceye.jpg|thumb|right|Magic Eye]]

===Trivia===

*This is the first time we see the ceiling of the computer room, or any other room on the same level of the [[House of the Brothers Strong|house]]. 
*The label on the disk in the floppy disk container reads "[[Floppy Disk Container#codename iceman|codename: iceman]]".
*Decompiling the Flash file reveals that the Magic Eye image is a working stereogram of Saturn, from [http://www.vision3d.com/book.html ''Magic Eye: How to See 3-D''].
*This is the second time we have seen Strong Bad's tremendous jumping abilities, the first time being in [[unused emails]].

===Remarks===

*Although smoke is shown coming out of the computer in the pop-up book, the [[Tandy 400]] actually met its demise due to an explosion and then being thrown out, not overheating.
*When Strong Bad mentions the sound quality has improved since page 2, he is referring to the second pop-up spread. With a traditional page-counting method, this would be pages 4 and 5.
*One of the quickest ways to destroy a pop-up book is to turn the pages without resetting the tabs to their original positions, as Strong Bad does throughout.
*In the Easter egg, it is implied that Bubs is handing over the key to a car. However, the key more strongly resembles a house key, notably in the shape of the head and the fact that it is cut on only one side, a rarity in car keys.
**Older model GM and AMC cars, such as the AMC [[Gremlin]] that Bubs owns, would have this style of single-cut key. However, those keys are distinctly different in appearance from the key that Bubs had.
*The "Gold Circle" award in the "Cat, spoke Anne" easter egg is, in fact, green.

===Goofs===
*The Cheat's keyboard stays in place in the bottom corner of the screen for the first frame of Strong Bad's jump, instead of staying down on the floor.
*When Strong Bad turns back to the Strong Sad page to create another burger, the flab tab has been reset.
*While Strong Sad's flab tab drops it's the shape of Strong Sad's head with holes in it, not the shape of the flab.
*In the Easter egg, when Bubs moves, so does the column of smoke from his cigar.

*On the page when The Cheato Bandito gets booted up, the line on the other side of the tab when he is near the top of the page isn't lined up with the ground.

===Inside References===

*Strong Bad calling the cherubs "wing-a-ling babies" is a reference to [[dragon]], where Strong Bad calls [[Trogdor]] a "wing-a-ling dragon".
*The "ab tab" shows Strong Bad after using the [[Ab-Abber 2000]].
*The following [[Running Gags]] make appearances in this email:
**[[How Do You Type With Boxing Gloves On?]] (on the Tandy page)
**[[DELETED]] (on the Tandy page)
**[[Kicking The Cheat]] (on Senor Muybueno's page)
**[[Strong Bad and Strong Sad's Relationship#Strong Bad Hurting Strong Sad|Strong Bad Hurting Strong Sad]] (on Strong Sad's page)
**[[BMW Lighter]] (on the last page)
**[[Sticky Notes]] (on the refrigerator door)
**[[Smoking]] (Bubs's cigar in the Easter egg)
**[[Senor]] (Strong Bad refers to himself as "Senor Muybueno")
**[[Cold Ones]] (on the last page)
*The odd-looking Strong Bad in the second-to-last section of the book comes from the Strong Bad Libs Easter egg in [[lackey]].
*"2 more [[eggs]]" was an ingredient in [[Strong Bad's EGGS]] in [[morning routine]].
*The label "Negative Zero" on the fridge is a reference to [[Stinkoman 20X6 Walkthrough Level -0|Level -0]] in [[Stinkoman 20X6]], and its location on the fridge may be a reference to the weak point of the level's boss, Ekersby.
**"Negative Zero" is also a pun on the high-end refrigerator brand [http://www.subzero.com Sub-Zero].
[[Image:Recessed lighting.PNG|thumb|right|Recessed lighting]]
*The [[Cold Ones]] on the last page of the book are from [[property of ones]], excluding the original Cold One, which was briefly seen in the [[Theme Song Video]].
*Strong Bad was also drawn as a construction worker in [[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10]].
*This email confirms Strong Bad's statement in [[different town]] that his house has recessed lighting.
*The arm movements of The Cheat's dance are similar to those of his hip hop dance in [[New Boots]].


===Real-World References===

*The Cheato Bandito is a reference to Tex Avery's famous "[[Wikipedia:Frito Bandito|Frito Bandito]]", a character featured in many [[Wikipedia:Fritos|Frito]] commercials back in the 1970s. Cheetos and Fritos are both brands of snack foods.
*''[[Wikipedia:Police Quest|Police Quest]]'' is a series of adventure games published by [[Wikipedia:Sierra Entertainment|Sierra]] between 1987 and 1993.
*[[Wikipedia:Magic Eye|Magic Eye]] is a series of books that feature [[Wikipedia:autostereogram|autostereograms]], which allow people to see 3D images by focusing on 2D patterns. The viewer must diverge his or her eyes in order to see a hidden 3-dimensional image within the pattern.
*The "Gold Circle" award (found on the book ''"Cat," spoke Anne, "Wash!"'') plays off of the fact that the two best-known awards for children's books in the U.S.—the [http://www.ala.org/ala/alsc/awardsscholarships/literaryawds/newberymedal/aboutnewbery/aboutnewbery.htm Newbery Medal] and the [http://www.ala.org/ala/alsc/awardsscholarships/literaryawds/caldecottmedal/aboutcaldecott/aboutcaldecott.htm Caldecott Medal]—are circular and golden.

==External Links==

{{sbemailextlinks|146|7133}}

{{Strong Bad Email}}
[[Category:Books]]

time capsule

Free Bagels — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 12:35:29 GMT

Free Bagels: /* Fixed some of the line breaks in Strong Bad's song */

{{sbenav|115|the facts|extra plug}}
[[Image:sbemail115.png|thumb|"Some sort of challenge buried in the GROOOUUND??"]]

Strong Bad tells us what he would put in a [[The Time Capsule|time capsule]], to preserve his awesomeness after his death and be opened in at least X0 years.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|Coach Z}} (Easter egg), {{Film|Homestar Runner}}, {{Film|Stinkoman}}, {{Film|1-Up}}

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[Planet K]]

{{Comp|Compy 386}}

'''Date:''' Monday, October 4, 2004

'''Running Time:''' 3:22

'''Page Title:''' Compy 386!!

{{dvd|strongbad_email.exe Disc Four}}

== Transcript ==
'''STRONG BAD:''' Checkin' emails with a VISCOSITY since 2001, it's a Strong Bad Email.

''{reading}''

<blockquote class="email">dear STRONG bad, 
you are extremely awesome but how are 
you going to be soooo awesome if you'rre 
dead? why not make a time capsule of 
stuff filled with stuff about you to 
be opened in at least X0 years. 
please answer this, 
sam concord california</blockquote>

''{Strong Bad puts emphasis on the STRONG in Strong Bad, says "This, I know" after "you are extremely awesome," reads "soooo" as "sue," pronounces "you'rre" as spelled, pronounces "capsule" as "capsoole," and pronounces "X0" as "exty," as in [[20X6]]. He also reads "sam concord california" like "sam concord, california.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Rest assured, Shim-Sham Sam, my time capsule would reign supreme. Like your hot single Mom is gonna wanna date my time capsule. So, the key to a good time capsule is it being an actual capsule. None of these shoe boxes or tennis ball cans. No. Those things are called time boxes and time tennis ball cans. ''{clears screen, continues typing}'' Those are different and lame and differently lame. And they always get dug up in about 4 days. And they're filled with uncool stuff like those leaf rubbin's ''{an image of leaf rubbings pops up}''and current newspaper clippin's ''{a newspaper clipping pops up}'' and... toenail snippin's? ''{toenail snippings pop up onscreen}'' Anybody? ''{clears screen, continues typing}'' Anyways, I'm talking about a f'real capsule. Y'know, like a big old headache medicine. So, what kinda cool stuff should I put in there? I guess I'd throw in a cassette tape with one of my #1 jams on it. And then in the future it'd be a huge hit and they'd send all the royalties and groupies back in time to me right... ''{mumbles to self for a second}'' NOW!

''{The doorbell rings. Cut to zoomed out view of Strong Bad at his computer desk.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Holy gosh! It worked! I'm the meanest genius!

''{Homestar enters holding a shoebox.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Hey, Strong Bad, hey, can I put this gross old wig in your time machine?

''{Homestar produces a gross old wig from the shoebox.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Uhhm, it's a ''capsule'', no, and I hate you get out.

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Cool, cool.

''{Homestar puts the gross old wig on his face.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Why would you want to put that nasty old thing in a time capsule anyway?

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' 'Cause it's gross and nasty and old and I don't want it.

''{Homestar takes the wig off and puts it on Strong Bad's floppy disk container}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' It's not a ''trash'' capsule. Look, this is for ''cool'' stuff so people of the future know how cool I am.

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Well then I'll just make my ''own'' time box with a gross old wig in it. So all the future peoples will know I had a gross old wig!

''{Homestar puts the gross old wig back in the shoebox.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Good. Now leave.

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yep!

''{Homestar leaves. Cut back to Compy 386}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' And I might as well spit in it, just in case they ever figure out how to make people ''{slight pause}'' from spit. Ooh! Then I'd put some dry ice in there so when they open it up it looks all smoky and steamy and it says a-like "froosh" when they first open it. There'll be no doubt about my coolty.

''{Cut to the field, circa 20X6. Stinkoman is kneeling in front of a hole with dirt around his mouth}''

'''STINKOMAN:''' ''Oh man'', those first four hundred bites of dirt were not so good. ''Maybe'' the next one will be ''better''.

''{Stinkoman sticks his hand in the hole where it makes an audible clanging sound against an unseen object}''

'''STINKOMAN:''' ''WHAAAT'' is this? Some sort of a challenge buried in the ''GROUUUND''?

''{Stinkoman snatches a red and white capsule out of the hole. It opens with Strong Bad saying "froosh," and a cassette tape is revealed.}''

'''STINKOMAN:''' Lookie here! A power crunch!

''{Stinkoman grabs the cassette and jams it into his mouth, crunching it up.}''

'''STINKOMAN:''' It tastes like a #1 jam!

''{Stinkoman suddenly stands and bulks up, making the cliché powering-up sound. 1-Up walks in with the gross old wig on his head.}''

'''1-UP:''' ''{not noticing Stinkoman's buffed up form}'' Hey, Stinkoman! Look what I found buried in the time box!

''{Cut back to the present and the Compy 386.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Yeah, cassette tape is definitely the way to go. What could ever replace the durability of magnetic tape? Duct tape maybe. Man, I wonder when those groupies and royalties are getting here. What about right (hamina hooo) NOW! ''{stops typing}'' CRAP! OK, what about right... here it comes, just a little bit longer NOW! Ugh. This could take a while.

''{[[The Paper]] comes down.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, the time is passing by, oh it's such a lovely day NOW! 5-4-3-2-1-NOW! 5-4-3-2-1-NOW! 3-2-1-NOW! 2-1-NOW! NOW! 1-NOW! NOW!

== Easter Eggs ==
*Clicking on "differently lame" shows a small advertisement for Coach Z Ale. Its slogan is "Differently Lame!"
*Clicking on "big ol'headache medicine" shows a bottle of "[[Jobar's Big Ol' Headache Medicine]]." Its slogan is "Eat'em like candy!"
*Clicking on "cassette tape" at the end lets you listen to a R&B-esque song about [[Grumblecakes]] taped over [[The Cheat]]'s [[The Cheatcakes]] theme song.
:'''VOICEOVER:''' Only liars and thieves eat Grumblecakes, 
:and those people go to prison 
:just ask the Cheaaat... ''{tape slows down}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Girl, I know we haven't been through a lot together. 
:In fact one might say we just met standing here in line at the batting cages, 
:but there's one thing I'm sure of already. 
:''{singing}'' Let me get them Grumblecakes 
:and please don't grumble babe, 
:I just need them Grumblecakes. 
:Ohh I'm Grumblecaking with you. 
:Let me get them Grumblecakes, 
:and please don't grumble babe, 
:I just needed them Grumblecakes. 
:Ohh I'm Grumblecaking with you. 
:I'm really going to grumble bake 
:another batch of them Grumblecakes. 
:So let's raise the Grumblestakes. 
:Clean the yard with the Grumblerake. 
:Girl give me a Grumble break. 
:I wanna see you Grumble shake. 
:Don't make a grumble mistake. 
:Let me see you grumble down!

== Fun Facts ==

=== Explanations===
*[[Wikipedia:Viscosity|Viscosity]] is a measure of the fluid's resistance to deformation under shear stress. It is commonly perceived as "thickness," or resistance to pouring. Viscosity describes a fluid's internal resistance to flow and may be thought of as a measure of fluid friction.

===Trivia===
*The date on newspaper clipping, October 4, is the day this email was released.
*The newspaper clipping reads:
<blockquote>
Oct. 4 
Little Boy Saves Turtle! 
"I found it in my shoe!!!" 
''News'' - A local boy known as 
"Geoff," found a turtle in his shoe 
and returned it to the terrarium 
on his desk. "His name is Slowbie, 
but now I think I'll call him Mr. 
Shoe." The boy's mother is very 
proud of her son. Calls to the 
turtle's mother were not 
immediately returned, but most 
agree she would be proud of 
Slowbie/ Mr. Shoe.</blockquote>
*The label on the disk in the floppy disk container reads "[[Floppy Disk Container#lunar lander|lunar lander]]".

===Remarks===
*After making fun of Sam's typos, Strong Bad proceeds to miscapitalize "Mom," which is supposed to take the lowercase after the possessive "your."
*Homestar's eyes appear to be placed closer together than usual in this email.
*When Stinkoman opens the time capsule, the wheels of the tape are still (or already) turning.
*[[Wikipedia:Dry ice|Dry ice]] is a genericized trademark for solid carbon dioxide, which is very cold. This solid form is constantly sublimating to carbon dioxide gas, which would build up pressure in a closed container. If dry ice ''had'' been put into the capsule, then it would have popped open just a few moments after Strong Bad closed it. If the container was sealed it runs the risk of exploding if there is enough dry ice placed within. Gaseous carbon dioxide is not visible, but dry ice is indeed often used for mist effects, as Strong Bad points out: this is because the cold temperature causes water vapour to condense in its vicinity. After X0 years, though, the dry ice will have all heated up and turned to gas, so it would not have the effect shown in the flashforward.
*The time capsule and box were found on Planet K, which may hint that Planet K is the future version of [[Free Country, USA]], and not a separate planet.
*[[Old-Timey Strong Bad]] effectively left a time capsule for Strong Bad by enclosing half his mustache in a letter (see [[flashback]] Easter egg). To date, Strong Bad hasn't been seen with this envelope or the mustache.
*When Homestar opens the box and pulls the wig out, he would have to have three [[Lack of Visible Arms|invisible arms]]: one to hold the box, one to hold the lid, and one to hold the wig. A similar phenomenon occurs in [[the show]].
*The sound made when Stinkoman opens the time capsule is a recycle of Strong Bad saying "Froosh" from only seconds before, and therefore Strong Bad perfectly predicted the sound that would be produced on opening the capsule.

===Inside References===
*Homestar Runner's Time Box is a [[Freshley's]] shoe box, the same one he wore on one of his feet in "[[anything]]."
*The turtle featured in the newspaper clipping is the same one used in [[new hands]].
*Stinkoman is willing to eat dirt as he was in [[Under Construction]].
*Slowbie is probably a reference to [[2 years]], when Strong Bad calls The Cheat a "slowbie."
*The time capsule looks an awful lot like the [[Pom Pom, Too|Isle of Pom]].
*Strong Bad sounds like [[Senor Cardgage]] when he mumbles.
*The hole in the ground is the exact same shape as the one that will be in [[Strong Badia]] 2 years from when the email [[2 years]] was written.
*There is another use of [[Duct Tape]].
*[[Grumblecakes]] are from the email "[[stupid stuff]]."

===Real-World References===
*Stinkoman's huge, buff form is a reference to [[Wikipedia:Broly|Broly's]] [[Wikipedia:Broly#Legendary Super Saiyan|Legendary Super Saiyan]] transformation, seen in a few [[Wikipedia:Dragon Ball Z|Dragon Ball Z]] movies.
*"[http://usembassy.state.gov/niamey/wwwhjobaria.html Jobar]" is the name of a large monster from [[Wikipedia:Tuareg|Tuareg]] mythology.
*Strong Bad's calling the e-mail sender 'Shim Sham Sam' could be a reference to the 1960s rock and roll band [[Wikipedia:Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs|Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs]]
*Powered Up Stinkoman is a reference to the powerups found in [[Wikipedia: Altered Beast|Altered Beast]].

=== Fast Forward ===
*1-Up later "borrows" Stinkoman's "[[power crunch]]" in the game [[Stinkoman 20X6]].
*A [[Grumblecakes (video)|music video]] for the Grumblecakes song was later made to the [[strongbad_email.exe Disc Four|Strong Bad Email DVD]].
*Marzipan says she's eating dirt in [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 13.2]].

==DVD Version==
*The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.
===Commentary Transcript===
('''Commentary by:''' [[Mike Chapman]], [[Marzipan]], [[Homestar Runner]])

'''MIKE:''' So in the email— the DVD commentary for this email, I'm joined in the booth by...

'''MARZIPAN:''' Marzipan. M... M-A-R—

'''MIKE:''' —And also—

'''HOMESTAR:''' ''{flatly}'' Homestar Runner.

'''MARZIPAN:''' —Z-I-P-A-N.

'''HOMESTAR:''' H-A-L.

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughing}'' Hal?

'''HOMESTAR:''' What—

'''MIKE:''' H-A... H-A-L?

'''MARZIPAN:''' That is his middle name.

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughing}'' Really?

'''HOMESTAR:''' ''{surprised}'' Really?!

'''MARZIPAN:''' I— That's my pet name for him.

'''HOMESTAR:''' Yeah. She calls me H-A-L.

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughing}''

'''MARZIPAN:''' For "Hal."

'''MIKE:''' All right, so this email is about, uh, time capsules.

'''MARZIPAN:''' That's correct.

'''MIKE:''' Did you ever make a time capsule, Marzipan?

'''MARZIPAN:''' No.

'''MIKE:''' Homesta— uh, Hal?

'''HOMESTAR:''' Yes! Yes, thank you, Ron. Dick Stabile. ''{sounding important}'' I made a time capsule one time, in my spare time, in... school time.

'''MIKE:''' What was in it?

'''HOMESTAR:''' Uh, many times, and a two—

'''MIKE:''' Marzipan, why don't you start talking?

'''MARZIPAN:''' Well, I know that he had an airplane in it.

'''HOMESTAR:''' Yes, a small Cessna.

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughs}'' Really?

'''HOMESTAR:''' Yes.

'''MARZIPAN:''' With a propeller.

'''MIKE:''' Wow. Like, from your beanie cap?

'''HOMESTAR:''' Are you talking about my buzzer, ''{Mike laughs}'' Mike?

'''MIKE:''' Uh, your buzzer?

'''HOMESTAR:''' Yes!

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, I was talking about the propeller on your beanie cap.

'''HOMESTAR:''' Yes! It's called my buzzer, Mike.

'''MARZIPAN:''' Okay, let's pay attention here.

'''HOMESTAR:''' Okay. Um, I need a big ol' headache medicine right about now.

'''MARZIPAN:''' Yeah!

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughs}''

''{Pause}''

'''HOMESTAR:''' Strong Bad's time travel technique doesn't seem to work very well.

'''MIKE:''' It worked right— Oh, look! ''{Homestar appears in the email}'' Whoa!

'''HOMESTAR:''' Oh! I remember those Freshley's shoes I got!

'''MIKE:''' Is that what you were wearing right there—

'''HOMESTAR:''' Yeah.

'''MIKE:''' —the... the blue soles taped to your foot?

'''MARZIPAN:''' What— What is that?

'''HOMESTAR:''' What? Those are my shoes. Look at that nasty old wig! That thing's gross!

'''MARZIPAN:''' Oh.

'''HOMESTAR:''' It had two bugs in it! One was a moth, and the other was... a ground bug.

'''MARZIPAN:''' Mike had a bug in his hair this morning.

'''HOMESTAR:''' ''{cracking up}'' Did you, Mike?! What were you doing with Mike this morning, Marzipan?!

'''MARZIPAN:''' Oh, don't tell anybody. ''{Mike laughs}'' Mike is my—

'''HOMESTAR:''' ''{Homestar leaves the scene}'' Here I go!

'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{simultaneously}'' My—

'''HOMESTAR:''' That was my big theme you guys.

'''MARZIPAN:''' My special friend.

'''MIKE:''' ''{laughs}'' Thanks, Marzipan.

'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{gasps}'' Dry ice.

'''HOMESTAR:''' Yeah, don't try and put dry ice on your— on your, um, extremities.

'''MARZIPAN:''' I read something about dry ice.

''{Stinkoman appears in the email}''

'''HOMESTAR:''' Who's that guy?

'''MIKE:''' What'd you read?

'''MARZIPAN:''' I don't remember.

'''MIKE:''' One time a roommate of mine showed up— uh, came back from class with a bag full of dry ice. It was a great day.

'''HOMESTAR:''' What'd you guys do? Did you make a laboratory? ''{pronounced "Luh-BOR-uh-tor-ee"}''

'''MIKE:''' Put it in the sink and put in a little soap in there, and had a little haunted house in the middle of April.

'''HOMESTAR:''' Did you make a volcano?

'''MIKE:''' Well...

''{Stinkoman bulks up}''

'''HOMESTAR:''' Oh my goodness, that's terrifying!

'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{gasps}'' Look at that body!

'''MIKE:''' You like that?

''{1-Up walks on}''

'''HOMESTAR:''' Hey, that guy's got my old wig! It kind of looks like me, except... cuter.

'''MARZIPAN:''' He was very shiny.

'''HOMESTAR:''' Um... duct tape seems to be a running theme, an undercurrent, Mike.

'''MARZIPAN:''' I feel bad for the ducks, though.

'''MIKE:''' ''Duct''.

'''MARZIPAN:''' Oh.

'''HOMESTAR:''' Duh-ct-tuh! Right, Mike?

'''MIKE:''' That's right, Hal.

'''HOMESTAR:''' Oh, see, he's still talking.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, we're not done yet. Not off the hook yet.

'''HOMESTAR:''' Oh, uh... ''{sings random doo-doo-doo's. Continues.}''

'''MIKE:''' Say something, Marzipan.

'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{sings random doo-doo-doo's.}''

'''MIKE:''' ''{joins in.}''

===Fun Facts===
*[[Wikipedia:Cessna|Cessna]] is a manufacturer of small, light airplanes.
*Here Marzipan says that Homestar's middle name is Hal, but in [[Halloween Potion-ma-jig]], she calls him Homestar Michael Runner.

== External Links ==
{{sbemailextlinks|115|994}}
{{Strong Bad Email}}
[[Category:20X6]][[Category: Emails With DVD Commentary]]

Talk:Who Said What Now?

Free Bagels — Sat, 02 Jun 2007 01:20:28 GMT

Free Bagels: /**/For kids?

Does anyone know where I can find that fan music video for Strong Sad's line? I always liked it. --[[User:VolatileChemical|VolatileChemical]] 04:20, 1 May 2005 (UTC)

:I know where you can find it. It's called "Strong Bad Rocks Out" by [[The Skate Party]]. You can listen to it (or download it) using a link on my forum. Here's the URL: [http://www.strongfans.com/portal/show_entry.asp?TYP=2&EntryID=169] Enjoy! {{User:The Paper/sig}} 14:43, 25 May 2005 (UTC)

::Or go here- http://newgrounds.com/portal/view/187036. [[User:Ookelaylay|Ookelaylay]] 20:59, 12 Aug 2005 (UTC)

==The tab==
the tab has 3-type-D animation, ie, when you pull it, it comes up horizontal, when its at rest its at a diagonal angle. {{User:Csours/sig}} 09:07, 11 February 2006 (UTC)

== Is That A Cold One? ==

i always thought that the "dink" heard during strong bads say was a cold one bottle cap coming off. and i still think it is. should i put this up in stuff? -{{User:Homsar7/sig}}
:I think it's pretty hard to say what it is, as there's no visual to match it to. Anything at all is pretty much speculation. --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]]

==Name Change==
This game is now called "Who said what?" I think it's because of the copyright issue thing. - {{User:The Joe/sig}} 21:42, 14 February 2007 (UTC)
:Noted and moved. Thanks for the update! --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]] 21:44, 14 February 2007 (UTC)
::Is it worth noting somewhere in the article the reason for the name change? {{User:KieferSkunk/sig}} 00:21, 15 February 2007 (UTC)
:::Doubtful. That's not really part of the encyclopedic significance. — {{User:Lapper/sig}} 00:24, 15 February 2007 (UTC)
::::I think it's an important part of the game's history. But we should wait how everything turns out before we add it.{{User:Loafing/sig}} 00:29, 15 February 2007 (UTC)
:::::Yeah. When did it change? Boy, this is getting to be an interesting week. --[[User:Jnelson09|Jnelson09]] 22:40, 15 February 2007 (UTC)

==Picture==
Now that the game has been changed, is it permissible to put a picture of the new game up? {{User:Geshmalderborgen/sig}} 22:04, 14 February 2007 (UTC)
:I should think so, yes. --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]] 22:11, 14 February 2007 (UTC)

== Locked? ==

Somehow I ended up logged out, and when I noticed this page on RecentChanges, I noticed it was locked. The only explanation given is that it was "at the request of [[Karen Wagner]]"... I suppose, looking at the above comments, I might have a guess why it was locked (copyright issues?), but that said, how accurate is my guess? And does it still need to be locked? --{{User:Jay/sig}} 23:49, 14 February 2007 (UTC)
:Also, the image was removed per KW (according to the history) and now has been restored. a) are we allowed to do this and b) can someone please explain what's going on? --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 05:07, 15 February 2007 (UTC)
::Well, it's a new image. Different image. But I should probably check first... *sweatdrop* I've commented it out for now, until I get an okay... --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]] 05:13, 15 February 2007 (UTC)
Is it still appropriate for this page to be locked?{{User:Bryanc/sig}} 16:06, 30 April 2007 (UTC)
:It probably doesn't need to be locked for too much longer, but we're trying to tread through this issue carefully, so hold on a little longer... {{User:Trey56/sig}} 16:19, 30 April 2007 (UTC)

== Request for article link change ==

The line ''The game is a parody of Mattel's "See 'n Say."'' should, I think, instead of linking to Mattel's wiki entry, should more appropriately link to the [[Wikipedia:See 'n Say|See 'n Say]] page. --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 11:41, 15 February 2007 (UTC)
:Done. {{User:Phlip/sig}} 12:17, 15 February 2007 (UTC)
::Cool, thanks! Also, I don't mean to be knit picker, but I was hoping that the Mattel link would go away or look a bit better, since having the word be half link/half text doesn't look as pleasing as if it looked like: [[Wikipedia:Mattel|Mattel's]]. --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 05:24, 16 February 2007 (UTC)
::That is odd. Isn't the appended bit normally swallowed into the link, or is that only for inside links? {{User:Qermaq/sig}} 10:06, 16 February 2007 (UTC)
:::Mine swallows both internal and external links, except any with an "'s". Then it just goes '''Blue Words Here'''<nowiki>'s</nowiki>. Dunno why. *shrugs* --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]] 18:42, 16 February 2007 (UTC)
::::My guess is that extra characters are automatically apparended to the link when they are only letters. My guess is that the apostrophe breaks that "autolink". I personally don't like that feature and opt to link it myself. --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 03:11, 17 February 2007 (UTC)
:::::But don't. The link is to the noun, not the possessive, and shouldn't be linked as though it were. Also, we should avoid piped links when possible. — [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 00:10, 18 February 2007 (UTC)
::::::True. The link is a noun and not the possessive, but it just looks soooo much prettier! Lol. And we rename things all the time! Oh is that what you mean by avoiding piped links when possible? But I like piped links! They're my frieeend! ... *awkward silence* Right. Anyway, I just think form over function might be a nice idea in this very... isolated... case. Yeah. Isolated. --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 02:22, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

== Add some links ==

Would it be appropiate to add links to the original version? I couldn't add them myself because the edit buttons appear to be hidden.
:I don't think we should. --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]] 00:23, 19 February 2007 (UTC)
::If anything, we should put it on [[Secret Pages]], but only after this page and the other pages involving the toy are unprotected, and the copyright issue is resolved {{User:Dr._Clash/sig}} 00:27, 19 February 2007 (UTC)
:::I think we should pretend "Sp*n 'N S*y" never existed and it has always been Who Said What?. --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]] 00:29, 19 February 2007 (UTC)
::::I concur. {{User:Qermaq/sig}} 00:31, 19 February 2007 (UTC)
Well, there are places where the forbidden name is used, such as the [[Third Games Menu]] and [[Why Come Only One Girl?]]. Also the old [[Handheld Games Menu]] mirrors. I say that we don't do anything more until we get the Chapmans' ok. - {{User:Dr._Clash/sig}} 00:42, 19 February 2007 (UTC)
:That is likely for the best. {{User:Qermaq/sig}} 02:43, 19 February 2007 (UTC)
How can [[Secret Pages]] and [[Astro-Lite 2600]] include links to Lite Brite if it is a registered trademark of Hasbro? [[User:Bad Bad Guy|Bad Bad Guy]] 15:30, 30 April 2007 (UTC)

::That issue hasn't yet surfaced as a problem (and hopefully never will). {{User:Trey56/sig}} 15:59, 30 April 2007 (UTC)
Is it possible for us to pretend this game was always this state without creating the impression Kidelectrix predates Videlectrix? [[User:Bad Bad Guy|Bad Bad Guy]] 19:59, 23 May 2007 (UTC)

Well, you're doing a damn good job of erasing The Game That Apparently Must Not Be Named from history, let me say. I came across this page and thought, "Ah, it's been changed", but then found no reference to [that game]. I know how obsessive you fanboys are at documenting every little thing about Homestar Runner, so I frantically searched for any reference at all to [that game] on the wiki, but found none, and thought to myself, "Have I gone mad? Did I just imagine [that game]? Why on earth isn't there a reference to it?" Nothing made sense until I found this talk page, from which the situation can be inferred.

Pandering to the dictates of the Chaps aside, I don't see why there shouldn't be a reference to it on this site. It isn't affiliated to homestarrunner.com, so there can't be any ramifications, can there? Well, there's my bit. Thanks for causing so much confusion. --[[User:84.67.250.92|84.67.250.92]] 22:16, 23 May 2007 (UTC)
:Hey, no problem. Unfortunately, it's not going to change anytime soon, at least not until the dust finally settles. You may think we're pandering fanboys—and that's fine, you can think that if you want—but really we're being respectful of them and their request. Also, I think it shows poor discretion if one's bottom line in making decisions is "Meh, what's the worst that can happen?". In cases like that, it's almost always better not to find out. — [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 22:58, 23 May 2007 (UTC)
::Wait, why is this an issue? Is it because of the copyright on the original errm... thing by mattel? I got lost. Suddenly everyone's acting like we need to clean up after a murder. --{{User:Super Martyo Brother/sig}} 23:07, 23 May 2007 (UTC)
:::The nature of the issue is such that we won't be discussing it at present; however, in due time we will explain the full reasoning behind everything. I know it's frustrating, but we are asking for your patience for a while longer. Thanks for your cooperation. — [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 23:49, 23 May 2007 (UTC)
::::I understand. When a legal issue comes up like this, the best thing to do is exactly what you and all the other sysops and admins are doing. --{{User:Super Martyo Brother/sig}} 03:44, 24 May 2007 (UTC)

== About a Fun Fact ==

I don't like the word "parody". Please change the text "This game is a '''parody''' of Mattel's See 'n' Say" to something else. Thank you. Remember: YOU made me hate this word. {{unsigned|76.184.188.124|17:32, 8 March 2007 (UTC)}}
:Look for a second at the [[ahd:61/94/P0079400.html|definition]] of the word, the relevant part of which I will highlight here: "An artistic work that imitates the characteristic style of another work for comic effect." That is ''exactly'' what this game is. But never mind that. TBC, via their representative, ''specifically'' asked us to use that word. It stays. — [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 18:00, 8 March 2007 (UTC)

== They're s'posed to what? ==

Where can I find out more about the copyright issue? Did Mattel try to sue them or something? [[User:Bad Bad Guy|Bad Bad Guy]] 23:40, 14 March 2007 (UTC)
:We don't know. All we know is [[Talk:Who Said What Now?#Add some links|this was always "Who Said What"]], and the rest doesn't need to be elaborated on. --{{User:TotalSpaceshipGuy3/sig}} 23:59, 14 March 2007 (UTC)
::I don't know if we can pull that off since the original name is still used in [[Secret Pages]] and [[Old Flash Stuff]]. [[User:Bad Bad Guy|Bad Bad Guy]] 22:03, 15 March 2007 (UTC)

==Homsar==
Hey, Homsar has a line but it's not translated to text!

'''HOMSAR:'''AaAaAh, My cheese is 50 cent!

-Ben from the fanstuff wiki

:<s>You can just put it on the page you know :)</s> This must be an addition to the original because I've noticed that all of the timings for the subtitles are out of sync now.{{User:Bryanc/sig}} 23:45, 25 April 2007 (UTC)
::Nevermind, I didn't realize the page was locked from editing.{{User:Bryanc/sig}} 23:54, 25 April 2007 (UTC)
::An administrator will need to add this.{{User:Bryanc/sig}} 02:07, 27 April 2007 (UTC)

== Stuff To Add ==

*The [[Handheld Games Menu]] still calls this game Who Said What?
*Include a link in Marzipan's quote to [[The Only Girl]]. Thank you for your time. [[User:Bad Bad Guy|Bad Bad Guy]] 05:40, 28 April 2007 (UTC)

:The first one would fit better on [[Handheld Games Menu]] than on this page, I think. As for the second one, we usually don't link characters' speech in transcripts. I tried figuring out a different way to work it in, but nothing came to me. Any suggestions? {{User:Trey56/sig}} 05:53, 28 April 2007 (UTC)
::I'd say add is as a fun fact:
::*Marzipan's line refers to the fact that she is considered [[The Only Girl|the only female lead]].
::Feel free to reword to make it sound better. --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 13:17, 28 April 2007 (UTC)
:::I think that sounds prooty grood — I {{p|l=http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=Who_Said_What_Now%3F&diff=451063&oldid=449987 added it}}. {{User:Trey56/sig}} 15:55, 30 April 2007 (UTC)
::::Another thing to mention is that Homestar doesn't have a mouth on his picture. I'm still cheesed off that this page is protected in the first place (I'm not going to ask why). Can we just ban it from annonies? Or is it that bad? --{{User:Super Martyo Brother/sig}} 00:55, 24 May 2007 (UTC)
:::::Please see [http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=Talk%3AWho_Said_What_Now%3F&diff=461958&oldid=461925]. Sorry about this, and thanks for understanding.{{User:Loafing/sig}} 00:58, 24 May 2007 (UTC)

== New Fun Fact ==

I noticed that the characters on the buttons resemble the character designs from the back page of the FAQ. Just puttin' this up here, in case you want to STUFF it. [[User:76.184.199.4|76.184.199.4]] 02:07, 12 May 2007 (UTC)
:What part of the FAQ? {{User:Homestar-winner/sig}} 02:12, 12 May 2007 (UTC)

::Oh, you mean the static characters on the last page — they're very close, but I can find subtle differences in all of them except Pom Pom... {{User:Trey56/sig}} 03:59, 12 May 2007 (UTC)

== For kids? ==

Anyone else notice that Homsar's picture in this resembles the one used in [[For Kids]] in [[Whaddaya Know, Haddi-Man?]]'s theme song? -[[User:Free Bagels|Free Bagels]] 01:20, 2 June 2007 (UTC)

User:Free Bagels

Free Bagels — Mon, 28 May 2007 16:28:12 GMT

Free Bagels: /* Stop reading this and do something important.*/

''"I'm sorry ma'am. Free Bagels just happened."'' -Strong Bad in [[4 Branches]]

Okay. All I really have on this page is the helpful userbox over there.. I'll add stuff soon.

{{userboxtop}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#CCCCCC|codebkgd=#15317E|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:sbemail55.PNG|53px]]|msg=This user uses '''[[Wikipedia:Microsoft Windows|Windows]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#ED9121|codebkgd=#FFFFFF|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:Ffox.png|53px]]|msg=This user contributes using '''[[Wikipedia:Mozilla Firefox|Mozilla Firefox]]'''}}
{{userbox|border=#008000|mainbkgd=#E0FFFF|codebkgd=#20B2AA|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=GO|msg=This user found the wiki from a '''[[Google:|Google]]''' search.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF9900|codebkgd=#FFCC00|codecolor=#663333|code=TEEN|msg=This user is between '''13 and 19 years old'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#C9C9C9|codebkgd=#000000 |codecolor=#00FF00|code=[[Image:sbemail lappy2.png|43px]]|msg=This user enjoys '''[[:Category:Lappy 486 Emails|Lappy-era]]''' emails the best.}}
{{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:qod 3 - strong sad.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user's favorite character is '''[[Strong Sad]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:qod 16 - stinkoman.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user's second favorite character is '''[[Stinkoman]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:pquesttrailer.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user's third favorite character is '''[[Trogdor]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#FF0000|mainbkgd=#8B0000|codebkgd=#DC143C|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:stinkoman20X6normal.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user loves to play '''[[Stinkoman 20X6|Stinkoman 20X6]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:d3win.png|43px]]|msg=This user hath beaten '''[[Thy Dungeonman 3]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#008000|mainbkgd=#7CFC00|codebkgd=#32CD32|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:20X6.png|43px]]|msg=This user loves '''[[20X6]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#008000|mainbkgd=#7CFC00|codebkgd=#32CD32|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:unnatural_tea_party.png|43px]]|msg=This user has tampered with the '''[[DNA evidence]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF6EC7|codebkgd=#7EC0EE|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:Hillary.png|40px]]|msg=This user is being '''[[kids' book|fangoriously devoured by a gelatinous monster]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#ADD8E6|mainbkgd=#FFFFFF|codebkgd=#E0FFFF|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:DndGreg.PNG|32px]]|msg=This user doesn't like his/her '''[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 9|style bitten]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF9900|codebkgd=#006600|codecolor=#66FFCC|code=[[Image:sbemail106.PNG|34px]]|msg=Looks like this user's [[dangeresque 3|'''gonna have to jump''']]!}}
{{userbox|border=blue|mainbkgd=red|codebkgd=purple|codecolor=white|code=[[Image:Sbrocket.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user has caught a [[Europa-pean Lobster]] with a '''[[Strong Bad's Rocket|water rocket]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=blue|mainbkgd=#CCCCCC|codebkgd=red|codecolor=white|code=[[Image:Less_than_b.JPG|43px]]|msg=This user is '''[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 12|less than B]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#CCFFCC|codebkgd=#FFFFFF|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:Trogdor hoodie.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user owns a '''[[Store#hoodie_trogdor|Trodgor hoodie]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#3333CD|codebkgd=#FFFFFF|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:homsar_shirt_logo_back.PNG|40px]]|msg=This user was '''[[interview|raised by a cup of coffee]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=purple|mainbkgd=red|codebkgd=#B22222|codecolor=#99CCFF|code=[[Image:sbemail_opera.png|50px]]|msg=This user is '''[[rock opera|awesome singing backwards metal]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#9900CC|codebkgd=#000000|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:level5intro.png|43px]]|msg=This user is on the '''[[Stinkoman 20X6 Walkthrough Level 5|mooooooon!]]'''}}

|}

Poorly Written Emails

Free Bagels — Mon, 28 May 2007 16:20:20 GMT

Free Bagels:

{{cleanup}}

[[Image:Lackofpunction_winner_sbemail.png|250px|thumb|"Well, let's just see here... Zero capitalization... Misspelling... Lack of punctuation... Looks like a winner to me!"]]
[[Strong Bad]] regularly receives '''[[Strong Bad Email|emails]] with poor grammar and spelling''', which he rarely hesitates to point out. He even released an entertaining/informational CD on the subject in an Easter egg in [[local news]] called "[[local_news#Easter_Eggs|Strong Bad's Rhythm 'n' Grammar]]."

While many emails do contain these sort of errors, this list only contains errors that are either famous in their own right or have affected how Strong Bad read the email.

In contrast to the many criticisms of poor spelling and grammar, Strong Bad often recieves [[List of emails that meet Strong Bad's approval|emails that meet his approval]].

==List of Poorly Written E-mails==
These are the list of emails starting from oldest to newest, containing any and all errors.

{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 width=100% style="border-collapse:collapse;"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Email !! Poor Grammar and Punctuation !! Poor Spelling !! Poor Capitalization
|-
| [[homsar]] || None || Vinnie C. misspells "Homestar" as "[[Homsar]]" || None
|-
| [[i love you]] || No punctuation mark at end of sentence || [[Fhqwhgads|fhqwhgadshgnsdhjsdbkhsdabkfabkveybvf]] uses [[Internet Slang|internet shorthand]]; uses a gibberish name || No capitalization
|-
| [[trevor the vampire]] || Email ends abruptly || None || None
|-
| [[i she be]] || Tenuous grasp on english language; lack of punctuation || Misspells "should" as "she" || No capitalization
|-
| [[duck pond]] || None || None || No capitalization
|-
| [[the basics]] || "How do you do it," does not end with a question mark; unnecessary apostrophe in "trick's" || None || No capitalization
|-
| [[band names]] || None || None || No capitalization
|-
| [[stand-up]] || None || Joe p. uses internet shorthand; misspells "funny" as "funy" and "comedic" as "comidic" || No capitalization
|-
| [[tape-leg]] || None || None || Strong Bad and my other words are not capitalized
|-
| [[spring cleaning]] || Steve writes "crush ''with'' Marzipan" instead of "''on'' Marzipan" || Sue misspells surprised as "suprised" || Steve does not capitalize his city and name
|-
| [[cartoon]] || "[[Wikipedia:Mr.|mr]]" does not have a period at the end of it; the email's greeting does not have a comma at the end of it || Geroge uses internet shorthand; quite possibly misspells his own name as "Geroge" || No capitalization
|-
| [[little animal]] || Question ends with a period instead of a question mark || None || None
|-
| [[CGNU]] || None || None || "dear strong bad", both "i"s and "thank" is not capitalized
|-
| [[1 step ahead]] || None || None || Entire email, except "I," is not capitalized
|-
| [[12:00]] || "Thankyou" does not have a space in between || None || "vcr" is not capitalized
|-
| [[sugarbob]] || None || None || Entire email capitalized
|-
| [[weird dream]] || None || None || No capitalization
|-
| [[sisters]] || Ali says "My sister and me" instead of "My sister and 'I'," and "There is two of us," not "There 'are' two of us." The anonymous author of the second email has awful grammar, and Strong Bad believes he/she's "not even literate." || None || The greeting "hello" in the second email is not capitalized
|-
| [[invisibility]] || None || "Invisible" misspelled as "invisable" || No capitalization
|-
| [[little questions]] || Tenuous grasp on English language || None || None
|-
| [[lures and jigs]] || None || Misspells "fish" as "fishs" || None
|-
| [[your friends]] || None || None || Entire email capitalized
|-
| [[50 emails]] || Mike ends his question with an exclamation mark || Matt misspells "Strong" as "Stong" || Matt does not capitalize "what", "example" and his name on his email
|-
| [[website]] || The word "website" is used too often || None || None
|-
| [[island]] || "An" is supposed to be "a" for "desert" || Where is supposed to be were || None
|-
| [[comic]] || None || Brittany misspells "appreciate" to "appriciate"; "they" is misspelled as "Tey" || None
|-
| [[morning routine]] || "Whats" does not have an apostrophe || None || None
|-
| [[japanese cartoon]] || None || None || James' name is not capitalized along with "what"
|-
| [[dragon]] || None || Kaizer uses internet shorthand || Kaizer's name is not capitalized
|-
| [[huttah!]] || Holmes types, "WHERE THE HECK IS YOU SHIRT???" || None || Nobuyoshi does not capitalize his "i"s and the beginning of his sentences; Holmes' entire email is capitalized (except "California"); Derek does not capitalize his question and his name
|-
| [[fingers]] || None || None || Aaron's email has no capitalization; Frankdog's entire email is capitalized
|-
| [[english paper]] || None || Kyle Smith misspells "english" as "englilsh" || None
|-
| [[unused emails]] || The first and second anonymous sender's e-mails make no sense; Evan, Andrew and Stephanie all have tenuous grasps on the English language; Stephanie does not put punctuations in her sentences; Andrew uses the word "crap" too often; The third anonymous sender's comma in "dear Strong Bad" is in the wrong place || The third anonymous sender misspells "enjoy reading" as "enloy reasing"; Andrew misspells Homestar Runner's name to "hamesturrunner" || Evan's entire email is capitalized; the second anonymous sender does not capitalize his/her question; Stephanie's email is not capitalized
|-
| [[the show]] || None || Tori misspells "tournament" as "tounament" || Homestar is not capitalized
|-
| [[personal favorites]] || No comma after "e-mails"; uses a period instead of a question mark || None || None
|-
| [[privileges]] || Question ends with a period instead of a question mark || Crazyclemens misspells "privileges" as "privalages" || No capitalization (except for "Dear")
|-
| [[sibbie]] || Question says "your are" instead of "you are" and says that Strong Bad is the most "awesomest" thing ever || None || None
|-
| [[anything]] || None || None || "hi", "have" and "bye" are not capitalized
|-
| [[the process]] || The question was "How long does it to answer an e-mail?" || None || None
|-
| [[couch patch]] || None || "Behind" is misspelled as "behiend"; "from" is misspelled as "form" || No capitalization
|-
| [[local news]] || Email uses wrong form of its causing Strong Bad to sing one of his Rhythm 'n' Rhyme song || None || None
|-
| [[kind of cool]] || None || "Thinking" and "wondering" are missing their Gs || Strong Bad is not capitalized
|-
| [[different town]] || "I just wondering" is missing "was" || "Sincerely" is misspelled as "sincerley" || None
|-
| [[car]] || "Do you have a car" is supposed to end with a question mark along with the second sentence|| None || Use of random capitalization
|-
| [[lunch special]] || None || "Luncch" is misspelled with a second c; "sincerely" is misspelled as "sincerly" || none
|-
| [[theme park]] || None || None || The sentences do not have capitals in the beginning
|-
| [[dangeresque 3]] || None || "Coming" is misspelled as "comeing" || No capitalization
|-
| [[cheatday]] || Question has no punctuation || None || All three emails The Cheat answers are not capitalized
|-
| [[crying]] || There are two greetings in the email which Strong Bad points out; there's no punctuation before "I was wondering" || None || None
|-
| [[for kids]] || There's an unecessary comma between "would love you" and "and your awesomeness." || None || None
|-
| [[other days]] || Janus has a tenuous grasp on the english language || None || Brian has no capitalization in his email (except for "CA")
|-
| [[old comics]] || None || None || No capitalization (except for "SB" and "NY")
|-
| [[pizzaz]] || The question does not have any punctuation and makes little sense || None || The ending of the email is not capitalized
|-
| [[time capsule]] || Sam uses period at the end of last sentence instead of question mark || "You're" has two Rs || No captalization (except "STRONG" and "X0")
|-
| [[montage]] || None || "Create" is misspelled as "creat" || None
|-
| [[animal]] || The question,"What would you like as if you were your own made up animal" does not make much sense; the question does not have a question mark in the end || None || None
|-
| [[dreamail]] || "Another words" is supposed to be "In other words" || None || None
|-
| [[origins]] || "I have recently been wondering" is supposed to be "I've been recently wondering" || None || None
|-
| [[long pants]] || The email uses the word "pants" too much; the email gets off-topic || None || None
|-
| [[rampage]] || There is an unecessary comma after Peter's name || "Dear" is misspelled as "Der"; "I thinks" is is supposed to be "I think" || None
|-
| [[garage sale]] || None || "Da" is supposed to be "the" || No capitalization (except the I's)
|-
| [[modeling]] || None || There is an extra "u" in "truly" || "dear" and "i" not capitalized, types "Strong Bad" in all caps along with exclamation marks.
|-
| [[record book]] || None || None || No capitalization
|-
| [[geddup noise]] || None || None || Marc Baroni's name is not capitalized
|-
| [[bedtime story]] || "Good Night" is supposed to have a comma in the end, not a period || "lately" is misspelled as "latley" ||
|-
| [[secret identity]] || None || None || Chris uses random capitalization
|-
| [[disconnected]] || "...and you didn't even know were your body is or your head," is supposed to be "''where'' your body ''was''" || None || None
|-
| [[candy product]] || The email overuses ellipsis, a comma missing after "chick-magnet," and "dont" and "thats" are missing apostrphes || "Someone" is misspelled as "Somone" || "homestarrunner" should be "Homestar Runner"
|-
| [[senior prom]] || "... did you ever have a senior prom," is supposed to be "if you ever had a senior prom" || None || None
|-
| [[redesign]] || None || None || No capitalization
|-
| [[trading cards]] || "N.S." is not necessary as you can just type "NS" || The subject reads, "Trading Stong-gum" || None
|-
| [[retirement]] || Josh lacks punctuation in his email || Josh misspells "sincerely" as "sincerly" || Josh has no capitalization
|-
| [[coloring]] || There are question marks after the ellipsis || Ridiculous" is misspelled as "rediculous"; "thats" does not have an apostrophe || None
|-
| [[4 branches]] || "N.Y." is not necessary as you can just type "NY"; the email lacks two commas: one after "Hey Strong Bad" and another after "ur biggest fan" || Spanky uses internet shorthand || "elgrondo" is supposed to be capitalized
|-
| [[the chair]] || None || "Doesnt" is missing an apostrophe; "truly" is misspelled as "truely" || None
|-
| [[strong badathlon]] || None || None || "Bad", "I've", "The Cheat" and "Homestar" is not capitalized
|-
| [[the movies]] || There is an unnecessary period at the end of "TN" || None || "has" is not capitalized
|-
| [[rough copy]] || Malinko says "I hope you interested" || Misspells "problems" as "promblems" || Unnecessarily capitalizes "Draw", forgets to capitalize "I" and "The Cheat" several times
|-
| [[more armies]] || Paul uses a period instead of a question mark. || None || None
|}

===Other Poorly Written Emails===
This is the list for secret emails in the [[strongbad_email.exe]] extras.

{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 width=100% style="border-collapse:collapse;"
|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
! Email !! Poor Grammar and Punctuation !! Poor Spelling !! Poor Capitalization
|-
| [[E-mail Birds]] || Bettina is missing punctuations in her sentence; Jeffrey uses the word dork too often; Naomi has a tenuous grasp on the english language || None || Bettina's e-mail has no capitalization
|-
| [[Videro Games]] || There is an unnecessary "in" in Wilbur's email making it sound like, "the effects of in video games on children." || None || None
|}

== Emails that spell Strong Bad/Strong Badia as one word ==
An error where two words are spelled as one word is often unnoticed by Strong Bad.

<table width="90%">
<autocolumn cols="2" width="40%">
*[[halloweener]]
*[[sugarbob]]
*One from [[fingers]]
*One from [[2 emails]]
*[[privileges]]
*[[pom pom]]
*[[crying]]
*[[part-time job]]
*[[dreamail]] (Written as "StrongBad".)
*[[long pants]]
*[[do over]]
*[[boring (really)]]
*[[space program]]
*[[secret identity]]
*[[myths & legends]] (Spells "Strong Badia" correctly.)
*[[candy product]]
*[[keep cool]]
*[[trading cards]]
*[[what I want]]
*[[looking old]]
*[[unnatural]] (Spells "Strong Badia" correctly.)
*[[rough copy]]
*[[more armies]] (Spells "Strong Badia" correctly in the subject line, but incorrectly in the body of the email.)
</autocolumn>
</table>

==See Also==
*[[Strong Bad's Spelling]]

{{StrongBadEmailInfo}}

[[Category:Strong Bad Email running gags]]
[[Category:Lists]]
[[Category:Strong Bad Email]]

The Jolly Dumple

Free Bagels — Mon, 28 May 2007 00:48:20 GMT

Free Bagels: /* Quotes of the Week */

[[Image:Jolly_Dumple.PNG|thumb|Homestar as The Jolly Dumple]]

[[Image:qod dumple.png|left|GO DUMPLES!!]]'''The Jolly Dumple''' is the mascot for [[Crazy Go Nuts University]], and can be seen cheering on CGNU's Golf Club Team. He appears in the email [[mascot]], and on a (now discontinued) T-shirt. He could have been named The Jolly Dumpling, but [[Strong Bad]] was really hungry and tired at the time he created the mascot and couldn't think straight. He is played by [[Homestar Runner]].

In [[4 branches]], the Dumple appears in an example of Homestar doing stupid stuff in a college mascot costume, where Homestar locks himself out of his own house, makes the costume a tent, and tries to roast a juice box the way one would a marshmallow. The Dumple costume is destroyed in a fiery explosion.

He appears to be a dumpling with two large hands forming "thumbs-up" signs, with a drop of saliva flying out of his mouth, and wearing a tricorn hat. The costume is made of a [[Explosions|highly combustible]] material called [[polymascotfoamalate]].

==Appearances==
*'''Debut:''' Email [[mascot]]
*Email [[4 branches]]
*Email [[rough copy]]

==Quotes of the Week==

{{qotwstart}}
*{{qotw|Special Fanstuff Quote of the Day!! High school band actually playing the [[Crazy Go Nuts University|CGNU]] Fight Song!|Quote of the Week exclusive; references the emails [[mascot]] (song) and [[mile]] (beginning and end)|Mirror:cgnu fightsong.mp3}}
|}

[[Category: Mascots|Jolly Dumple, The]]

User:Free Bagels

Free Bagels — Mon, 28 May 2007 00:46:16 GMT

Free Bagels:

''"I'm sorry ma'am. Free Bagels just happened."'' -Strong Bad in [[4 Branches]]

Okay. All I really have on this page is the helpful userbox over there.. I'll add stuff soon.

{{userboxtop}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#CCCCCC|codebkgd=#15317E|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:sbemail55.PNG|53px]]|msg=This user uses '''[[Wikipedia:Microsoft Windows|Windows]]'''.}}
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{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF9900|codebkgd=#FFCC00|codecolor=#663333|code=TEEN|msg=This user is between '''13 and 19 years old'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#C9C9C9|codebkgd=#000000 |codecolor=#00FF00|code=[[Image:sbemail lappy2.png|43px]]|msg=This user enjoys '''[[:Category:Lappy 486 Emails|Lappy-era]]''' emails the best.}}
{{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:qod 3 - strong sad.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user's favorite character is '''[[Strong Sad]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#FF0000|mainbkgd=#8B0000|codebkgd=#DC143C|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:stinkoman20X6normal.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user loves to play '''[[Stinkoman 20X6|Stinkoman 20X6]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:d3win.png|43px]]|msg=This user hath beaten '''[[Thy Dungeonman 3]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#008000|mainbkgd=#7CFC00|codebkgd=#32CD32|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:20X6.png|43px]]|msg=This user loves '''[[20X6]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#008000|mainbkgd=#7CFC00|codebkgd=#32CD32|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:unnatural_tea_party.png|43px]]|msg=This user has tampered with the '''[[DNA evidence]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF6EC7|codebkgd=#7EC0EE|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:Hillary.png|40px]]|msg=This user is being '''[[kids' book|fangoriously devoured by a gelatinous monster]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#ADD8E6|mainbkgd=#FFFFFF|codebkgd=#E0FFFF|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:DndGreg.PNG|32px]]|msg=This user doesn't like his/her '''[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 9|style bitten]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF9900|codebkgd=#006600|codecolor=#66FFCC|code=[[Image:sbemail106.PNG|34px]]|msg=Looks like this user's [[dangeresque 3|'''gonna have to jump''']]!}}
{{userbox|border=blue|mainbkgd=red|codebkgd=purple|codecolor=white|code=[[Image:Sbrocket.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user has caught a [[Europa-pean Lobster]] with a '''[[Strong Bad's Rocket|water rocket]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=blue|mainbkgd=#CCCCCC|codebkgd=red|codecolor=white|code=[[Image:Less_than_b.JPG|43px]]|msg=This user is '''[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 12|less than B]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#CCFFCC|codebkgd=#FFFFFF|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:Trogdor hoodie.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user owns a '''[[Store#hoodie_trogdor|Trodgor hoodie]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#3333CD|codebkgd=#FFFFFF|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:homsar_shirt_logo_back.PNG|40px]]|msg=This user was '''[[interview|raised by a cup of coffee]]'''.}}
|}

User:Free Bagels

Free Bagels — Mon, 28 May 2007 00:45:24 GMT

Free Bagels:

"I'm sorry ma'am. Free Bagels just happened." -Strong Bad in [[4 Branches]]

Okay. All I really have on this page is the helpful userbox over there.. I'll add stuff soon.

{{userboxtop}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#CCCCCC|codebkgd=#15317E|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:sbemail55.PNG|53px]]|msg=This user uses '''[[Wikipedia:Microsoft Windows|Windows]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#ED9121|codebkgd=#FFFFFF|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:Ffox.png|53px]]|msg=This user contributes using '''[[Wikipedia:Mozilla Firefox|Mozilla Firefox]]'''}}
{{userbox|border=#008000|mainbkgd=#E0FFFF|codebkgd=#20B2AA|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=GO|msg=This user found the wiki from a '''[[Google:|Google]]''' search.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF9900|codebkgd=#FFCC00|codecolor=#663333|code=TEEN|msg=This user is between '''13 and 19 years old'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#C9C9C9|codebkgd=#000000 |codecolor=#00FF00|code=[[Image:sbemail lappy2.png|43px]]|msg=This user enjoys '''[[:Category:Lappy 486 Emails|Lappy-era]]''' emails the best.}}
{{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:qod 3 - strong sad.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user's favorite character is '''[[Strong Sad]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#FF0000|mainbkgd=#8B0000|codebkgd=#DC143C|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:stinkoman20X6normal.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user loves to play '''[[Stinkoman 20X6|Stinkoman 20X6]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:d3win.png|43px]]|msg=This user hath beaten '''[[Thy Dungeonman 3]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#008000|mainbkgd=#7CFC00|codebkgd=#32CD32|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:20X6.png|43px]]|msg=This user loves '''[[20X6]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#008000|mainbkgd=#7CFC00|codebkgd=#32CD32|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:unnatural_tea_party.png|43px]]|msg=This user has tampered with the '''[[DNA evidence]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF6EC7|codebkgd=#7EC0EE|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:Hillary.png|40px]]|msg=This user is being '''[[kids' book|fangoriously devoured by a gelatinous monster]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#ADD8E6|mainbkgd=#FFFFFF|codebkgd=#E0FFFF|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:DndGreg.PNG|32px]]|msg=This user doesn't like his/her '''[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 9|style bitten]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF9900|codebkgd=#006600|codecolor=#66FFCC|code=[[Image:sbemail106.PNG|34px]]|msg=Looks like this user's [[dangeresque 3|'''gonna have to jump''']]!}}
{{userbox|border=blue|mainbkgd=red|codebkgd=purple|codecolor=white|code=[[Image:Sbrocket.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user has caught a [[Europa-pean Lobster]] with a '''[[Strong Bad's Rocket|water rocket]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=blue|mainbkgd=#CCCCCC|codebkgd=red|codecolor=white|code=[[Image:Less_than_b.JPG|43px]]|msg=This user is '''[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 12|less than B]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#CCFFCC|codebkgd=#FFFFFF|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:Trogdor hoodie.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user owns a '''[[Store#hoodie_trogdor|Trodgor hoodie]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#3333CD|codebkgd=#FFFFFF|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:homsar_shirt_logo_back.PNG|40px]]|msg=This user was '''[[interview|raised by a cup of coffee]]'''.}}
|}

User:Free Bagels

Free Bagels — Mon, 28 May 2007 00:44:26 GMT

Free Bagels:

[[4_branches|"I'm sorry ma'am. Free Bagels just happened." - Strong bad]]

Okay. All I really have on this page is the helpful userbox over there.. I'll add stuff soon.

{{userboxtop}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#CCCCCC|codebkgd=#15317E|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:sbemail55.PNG|53px]]|msg=This user uses '''[[Wikipedia:Microsoft Windows|Windows]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#ED9121|codebkgd=#FFFFFF|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:Ffox.png|53px]]|msg=This user contributes using '''[[Wikipedia:Mozilla Firefox|Mozilla Firefox]]'''}}
{{userbox|border=#008000|mainbkgd=#E0FFFF|codebkgd=#20B2AA|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=GO|msg=This user found the wiki from a '''[[Google:|Google]]''' search.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF9900|codebkgd=#FFCC00|codecolor=#663333|code=TEEN|msg=This user is between '''13 and 19 years old'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#C9C9C9|codebkgd=#000000 |codecolor=#00FF00|code=[[Image:sbemail lappy2.png|43px]]|msg=This user enjoys '''[[:Category:Lappy 486 Emails|Lappy-era]]''' emails the best.}}
{{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:qod 3 - strong sad.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user's favorite character is '''[[Strong Sad]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#FF0000|mainbkgd=#8B0000|codebkgd=#DC143C|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:stinkoman20X6normal.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user loves to play '''[[Stinkoman 20X6|Stinkoman 20X6]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:d3win.png|43px]]|msg=This user hath beaten '''[[Thy Dungeonman 3]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#008000|mainbkgd=#7CFC00|codebkgd=#32CD32|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:20X6.png|43px]]|msg=This user loves '''[[20X6]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#008000|mainbkgd=#7CFC00|codebkgd=#32CD32|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:unnatural_tea_party.png|43px]]|msg=This user has tampered with the '''[[DNA evidence]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF6EC7|codebkgd=#7EC0EE|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:Hillary.png|40px]]|msg=This user is being '''[[kids' book|fangoriously devoured by a gelatinous monster]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#ADD8E6|mainbkgd=#FFFFFF|codebkgd=#E0FFFF|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:DndGreg.PNG|32px]]|msg=This user doesn't like his/her '''[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 9|style bitten]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF9900|codebkgd=#006600|codecolor=#66FFCC|code=[[Image:sbemail106.PNG|34px]]|msg=Looks like this user's [[dangeresque 3|'''gonna have to jump''']]!}}
{{userbox|border=blue|mainbkgd=red|codebkgd=purple|codecolor=white|code=[[Image:Sbrocket.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user has caught a [[Europa-pean Lobster]] with a '''[[Strong Bad's Rocket|water rocket]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=blue|mainbkgd=#CCCCCC|codebkgd=red|codecolor=white|code=[[Image:Less_than_b.JPG|43px]]|msg=This user is '''[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 12|less than B]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#CCFFCC|codebkgd=#FFFFFF|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:Trogdor hoodie.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user owns a '''[[Store#hoodie_trogdor|Trodgor hoodie]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#3333CD|codebkgd=#FFFFFF|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:homsar_shirt_logo_back.PNG|40px]]|msg=This user was '''[[interview|raised by a cup of coffee]]'''.}}
|}

User:Free Bagels

Free Bagels — Mon, 28 May 2007 00:38:14 GMT

Free Bagels: /* Why are you reading this? Get back to editing! */

"I'm sorry ma'am. Free Bagels just happened." - Strong bad

Okay. All I really have on this page is the helpful userbox over there.. I'll add stuff soon.

{{userboxtop}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#CCCCCC|codebkgd=#15317E|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:sbemail55.PNG|53px]]|msg=This user uses '''[[Wikipedia:Microsoft Windows|Windows]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#ED9121|codebkgd=#FFFFFF|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:Ffox.png|53px]]|msg=This user contributes using '''[[Wikipedia:Mozilla Firefox|Mozilla Firefox]]'''}}
{{userbox|border=#008000|mainbkgd=#E0FFFF|codebkgd=#20B2AA|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=GO|msg=This user found the wiki from a '''[[Google:|Google]]''' search.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF9900|codebkgd=#FFCC00|codecolor=#663333|code=TEEN|msg=This user is between '''13 and 19 years old'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#C9C9C9|codebkgd=#000000 |codecolor=#00FF00|code=[[Image:sbemail lappy2.png|43px]]|msg=This user enjoys '''[[:Category:Lappy 486 Emails|Lappy-era]]''' emails the best.}}
{{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:qod 3 - strong sad.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user's favorite character is '''[[Strong Sad]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#FF0000|mainbkgd=#8B0000|codebkgd=#DC143C|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:stinkoman20X6normal.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user loves to play '''[[Stinkoman 20X6|Stinkoman 20X6]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:d3win.png|43px]]|msg=This user hath beaten '''[[Thy Dungeonman 3]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#008000|mainbkgd=#7CFC00|codebkgd=#32CD32|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:20X6.png|43px]]|msg=This user loves '''[[20X6]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#008000|mainbkgd=#7CFC00|codebkgd=#32CD32|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:unnatural_tea_party.png|43px]]|msg=This user has tampered with the '''[[DNA evidence]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF6EC7|codebkgd=#7EC0EE|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:Hillary.png|40px]]|msg=This user is being '''[[kids' book|fangoriously devoured by a gelatinous monster]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#ADD8E6|mainbkgd=#FFFFFF|codebkgd=#E0FFFF|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:DndGreg.PNG|32px]]|msg=This user doesn't like his/her '''[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 9|style bitten]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF9900|codebkgd=#006600|codecolor=#66FFCC|code=[[Image:sbemail106.PNG|34px]]|msg=Looks like this user's [[dangeresque 3|'''gonna have to jump''']]!}}
{{userbox|border=blue|mainbkgd=red|codebkgd=purple|codecolor=white|code=[[Image:Sbrocket.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user has caught a [[Europa-pean Lobster]] with a '''[[Strong Bad's Rocket|water rocket]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=blue|mainbkgd=#CCCCCC|codebkgd=red|codecolor=white|code=[[Image:Less_than_b.JPG|43px]]|msg=This user is '''[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 12|less than B]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#CCFFCC|codebkgd=#FFFFFF|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:Trogdor hoodie.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user owns a '''[[Store#hoodie_trogdor|Trodgor hoodie]]'''.}}
{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#3333CD|codebkgd=#FFFFFF|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:homsar_shirt_logo_back.PNG|40px]]|msg=This user was '''[[interview|raised by a cup of coffee]]'''.}}
|}

User:Free Bagels

Free Bagels — Mon, 28 May 2007 00:33:07 GMT

Free Bagels: Such a strange name.

User talk:Free Bagels

Free Bagels — Mon, 28 May 2007 00:03:24 GMT

Free Bagels: /* Why the heck are you reading this? */

Edited! I just happened to have [[DELETED]] the helpful information they had here when I signed up.

Really guys. If anyone sees this, feel free to say something.