http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/GWR_2004 From Homestar Runner Wiki en MediaWiki 1.15.4 Wed, 16 Sep 2026 04:30:17 GMT http://hrwiki.org/wiki/specially_marked <p>GWR 2004:&#32;/* Transcript */ ?</p> <hr /> <div>{{sbenav|194}}<br /> [[Image:Sbemail194.png|thumb|&quot;...fundamentally-sound college basketball players.&quot;]]<br /> Strong Bad educates us on the free toys found in cereal boxes.<br /> <br /> '''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{film|Strong Bad}}, {{film|The Cheat}}, {{film|Homestar Runner}}<br /> <br /> '''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[Strong Badia]], [[Marzipan's House]]<br /> <br /> {{Comp|Lappy 486}}<br /> <br /> '''Date:''' April 21, 2008<br /> <br /> '''Running Time:''' 3:08<br /> <br /> '''Page Title:''' Lappy 486<br /> <br /> ==Transcript==<br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' If everybody in the world checked their email, the internet would probably break.<br /> <br /> &lt;blockquote class=&quot;lappy email&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div&gt;subject: cerial box toys&lt;/div&gt;<br /> Hey ho, Strongbad.&lt;br&gt;<br /> What kind of free toys would you put in specially marked&lt;br&gt;<br /> cerial boxes?&lt;br&gt;<br /> PB&lt;br&gt;<br /> Over the hills&lt;br&gt;<br /> &lt;/blockquote&gt;<br /> <br /> ''{Strong Bad reads 'cerial' as 'keh-ree-al'.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Ooh, I'm glad you asked, Problem Brian. I've been wanting to give specially marked boxes of cereal a specially marked piece of my mind for some time now.<br /> <br /> ''{A dotted-line circle appears near the top of Strong Bad's head. Two lines appear, going from the circle to a new circle, this time larger and in front of Strong Bad's head. In the bigger circle, there is a picture of Strong Bad's brain.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' I choose...this piece.<br /> <br /> ''{An arrow points to a spot on the left side of Strong Bad's brain. He clears the screen, and the circles dissapear.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Well before you get the toys inside, you first have to navigate the treacherous, jaggedy rock filled class 5 rapids of specially marked cereal box fake outs! Luckily, I'm a lame sandal wearing hippie with a ponytail that's been down these rapids with groups of tourists many times!<br /> <br /> ''{Cuts to Strong Badia, where Strong Bad and The Cheat, wearing a ponytail and a helmet, respectively, are in the 'Riverquest Safariventure' box, with a hose running in front of it.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' Ok, gang, now I'm gonna need everyone to lean hard to the right! (Strong Bad pulls out some sort of microphone and makes a click noise}<br /> <br /> ''{Cut to Marzipan's kitchen. Strong Bad walks in from the right.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' The first hazard you have to watch out for is cereals with anything grown in Iowa in the name. You know...<br /> <br /> ''{As Strong Bad says the items, boxes of Corn Flakes, Wheat Chaff, Oh T'meel, Crispy Hog Crunchies, and Fundament-o's appear, in that order.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ...corn, wheat, oats, hogs, fundamentally-sound college basketball players. Please, do stay away from these. Those cereals only put fitness-related crap in specially marked boxes. <br /> <br /> ''{A picture of a step counter appears against a blue background. In flashing letters on the bottom, it says 'One Free Takesteppa&lt;sup&gt;TM&lt;/sup&gt; Step Take Monitor!}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Voiceover}'' Oh, great! I can count how many steps I took today!<br /> <br /> ''{A picture of a defibrillator appears on-screen. At the top of the screen, it reads 'Clear?! One Free&lt;sup&gt;TM&lt;/sup&gt; Defib Kit Inside!}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Voiceover}'' Fantastic! I can restart my heart if it stops!<br /> <br /> ''{Cut back to Marzipan's kitchen, where Strong Bad's face is on a box of 'Hypothetic-O's'.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' What you do want to look for are cereals with sound effects in the name.<br /> <br /> ''{The box flies off-screen. When Strong Bad names the sound effects, boxes for Fruit Smacks, Chocolate Breakfast Candy Bar Pops, Soundy Puffs, Blue Laser Blasts, and Sugar Rittled Gunshots in a Crowded Mall.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Smacks, pops, puffs, blasts, and, um, gunshots in a crowded mall.<br /> <br /> ''{Cut to Strong Bad standing in the kitchen.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' You know, the kind with the squarey, sugared pieces of styrofoam that they claim are marshmallows. These are guaranteed to have a nice, big&amp;mdash;<br /> <br /> ''{Cut to a dirty Strong Bad hand reaching in the box of Cheat Commandos O's}'' <br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' &amp;mdash;reach-your-nasty-unwashed-hand-straight-to-the-bottom-of-the-box toy in it. <br /> <br /> ''{Cut to Strong Bad standing in the kitchen.}'' <br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' Next up are the three most useless letters in the specially marked alphabet. <br /> <br /> ''{Zoom to Strong Bad's mouth}'' <br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' U...P...C. <br /> <br /> ''{Cut back to Strong Bad standing.}'' <br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' If you spot these wastes of serif on a cereal box, <br /> <br /> ''{Cut to a bar code}'' <br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' turn and run as fast as you can. <br /> <br /> ''{Cut back to Strong Bad standing.}'' <br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' This means not only are they going to make you buy several more boxes that you have to cut the bar codes off of, <br /> <br /> ''{cut to a cereal box}'' <br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' but you're also going to have to involve your mom to write a check for the shipping and handling if she's back from Vegas! <br /> <br /> ''{Cut back to Strong Bad standing, talking angrily}'' The nerve of those cereals! <br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' You leave my mom out of this! <br /> <br /> ''{Screen changes, there is now a box of cereal on the desk.}'' <br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' Some cereals can't even be bothered with a toy at all. <br /> <br /> ''{Cut to box}'' <br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' They try and pass off the back of the box&amp;mdash;<br /> <br /> ''{Box flips, revealing a cutout of Crack Stuntman's head, with holes at the side so that it can be made into a mask.}'' <br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' &amp;mdash;as some kind of prize. That dotted line you expect me to cut along is like a toyless slap in my face! Masks, <br /> <br /> ''{The image of Crack's face becomes a maze. Gunhaver appears in the bottom left at the maze's entrance.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' mazes, <br /> <br /> ''{The top part of the maze becomes a word search. Most of the word search consists of uncommon letters like Q, while the words &quot;'''BUY MORE CEREAL'''&quot; appear in bold.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' word searches, PAH! <br /> <br /> ''{Throws box, cut back to Strong Bad standing}'' <br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' I know the kind of kids that enjoyed these funtivities on the backs of cereal boxes, and let me tell you, they were real easy to beat up.<br /> <br /> ''{Homestar Runner walks in wearing a Crack Stuntman mask.}''<br /> <br /> '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Blah, Strong Bad, Blah! I'm a crappy Stuntman!<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' You know what kind of toys I'd put in specially marked boxes?<br /> <br /> '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yes.<br /> <br /> ''{Zoom in on Strong Bad}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' Anything ''{Reaches into a cereal box}'' heavy and pointy enough ''{Zoom in on box}'' to do lasting damage to the face.<br /> <br /> ''{Strong Bad takes out a chainsaw-car and throws it at Homestar, who is knocked backwards.}''<br /> <br /> '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Strong Bad, while I'm down here, can you help me solve this word search? I can't find 'dextrose-flavornoids'.<br /> <br /> ''{[[New Paper]] comes down}''<br /> <br /> ==Easter Eggs==<br /> *Click the words &quot;Problem Brian&quot; to see the book by [[Lem Sportsinterviews#Beverly Sportsinterviews|Bev Sportsinterviews]].<br /> *Click on Homestar's foot at the end to see a [[printable]] [[Crack Stuntman]] mask.<br /> *Click on Strong Bad's head at the end to see [[Breakfast Cereals from Specially Marked|all the cereal boxes shown in the email]].<br /> <br /> ==Fun Facts==<br /> ===Explanations===<br /> *[[Wikipedia:Whitewater#Classification of whitewater|Class 5 rapids]] have rocks, waves and possibly a steep drop, requiring advanced rafting experience. It is the second highest of the six whitewater classifications.<br /> <br /> ===Trivia===<br /> *The Cheat Commandos O's box now has Fightgar saying &quot;Those still aren't O's!&quot;, similar to Fightgar's comment &quot;These aren't O's!&quot; in the previous 'toon.<br /> <br /> === Goofs ===<br /> *The &quot;Problem Brian&quot; Easter egg is still clickable when hidden by the closeup of Strong Bad's brain.<br /> *The Email Strong Bad and Back buttons at the end of the email are still clickable when hidden by the Crack Stuntman mask's background in the Easter egg.<br /> *UPC codes and the numbers beneath them are actually [[Wikipedia:Sans-serif|sans-serif]].<br /> <br /> === Inside References ===<br /> *The chainsaw car is from [[what I want]].<br /> *Strong Bad's ponytail was first seen in [[bike thief]] as part of his college student persona.<br /> *The walking man on the step counter is from [[50K Racewalker]].<br /> *Corn Crunch was previously seen in [[death metal]], where it contained a full-size alto saxophone (contradicting Strong Bad's claims in this email).<br /> *The &quot;riverquest safariventure&quot; ride was first seen in [[theme park]]. The running hose next to it, as well as the mic/speaker PA, are also from said email.<br /> *Strong Bad pulls a [[Ser-g-geant Marshie]] toy out of the box of Cheat Commandos...O's.<br /> **Also, one of the &quot;squarey, sugary pieces of styrofoam&quot; marshmallows is shaped like [[Marshie]] himself.<br /> *This toon prominently features [[Breakfast Cereal|cereal]].<br /> <br /> [[Image:SBbrain.PNG|150px|thumb|Strong Bad's brain!]]<br /> <br /> === Real World References ===<br /> *The opening of the email, &quot;Hey, ho, Strong Bad,&quot; is said in a way reminiscent of &quot;[[Wikipedia:Blitzkrieg Bop|Blitzkrieg Bop]]&quot; by [[Wikipedia:Ramones|the Ramones]]. The song's chant was previously parodied in [[The House That Gave Sucky Treats]], in which [[Marzipan]] dressed up as [[Wikipedia:Joey Ramone|Joey Ramone]].<br /> * Strong Bad's [[Brains|brain]] is based off the second form of the final boss in the [[Nintendo#Super Nintendo Entertainment System (SNES)|Super Nintendo]] game ''[[Wikipedia:Contra III: The Alien Wars|Contra III: The Alien Wars]]''.<br /> * The Fundament-O's box resembles cereal brands like [[Wikipedia:Wheaties|Wheaties]], in which they put a popular athlete on the front of every box.<br /> * The 'One Free Takesteppa Step Take Monitor!' is a reference to the free [[Wikipedia:pedometer|pedometers]] which have actually come free in boxes of certain healthy cereals.<br /> *&quot;Every step U take&quot; is a line from the song &quot;[[Wikipedia:Every Breath You Take|Every Breath You Take]]&quot; by [[Wikipedia:The Police|The Police]].<br /> * The [[portmanteau]] &quot;funtivities&quot; was coined by Michael Scott, a character in [[Wikipedia:The Office (U.S. TV series)|The Office]], during the episode entitled [[Wikipedia:Beach Games|Beach Games]].<br /> *There is a cereal named [[Wikipedia:Smacks|Smacks]].<br /> <br /> ==External Links==<br /> {{sbemailextlinks|194|13929}}<br /> <br /> {{Strong Bad Email}}</div> Mon, 21 Apr 2008 23:47:46 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Talk:specially_marked http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Blubb-O%27s_Commercial <p>GWR 2004:&#32;/* Transcript */</p> <hr /> <div>{{toonnav|Shorts|blubbos|Limozeen vs. Sloshy|Limozeen Live!}}<br /> [[Image:Blubb-OsCommercial.png|thumb|&quot;Register does not contain more than fifty doctors.&quot;]]<br /> Come the heck down to Blubb-O's!<br /> <br /> '''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{film|Strong Bad}}, {{film|Strong Mad}}, {{film|The Cheat}}, [[Drive-Thru Whale]], {{film|Homestar Runner}}, {{film|Marzipan}}, {{film|Coach Z}}, {{film|Strong Sad}}, [[Peacey P]], {{film|Bubs}} (Easter egg)<br /> <br /> '''Places:''' [[Strong Badia]] ([[Behind the Fence]]), [[Blubb-O's]], [[The Field]]<br /> <br /> '''Date:''' Monday, March 10, 2008<br /> <br /> '''Running time:''' 1:53<br /> <br /> '''Page title:''' See Participating Stores for Details!<br /> ==Transcript==<br /> <br /> ''{Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and The Cheat are walking along behind the fence in Strong Badia. Corny advertisement music plays quietly under them.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{haltingly, as a bad actor}'' Man, you guys! All this walking around behind the fence being a young person sure has gotten my hunger all up in a dander!<br /> <br /> ''{Suddenly, the Drive-Thru Whale shoots up from the ground in front of them}''<br /> <br /> '''DRIVE-THRU WHALE:''' Relinquish your pipes please, fellas!<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{without much emotion}'' Relinquish our pipes? We'd love to!<br /> <br /> ''{Strong Bad, Strong Mad and The Cheat all start laughing. The scene fades slightly as a huge Blubb-O's logo comes on screen, with the words &quot;Come The Heck Down&quot; written underneath.}''<br /> <br /> '''ANNOUNCER:''' Come the heck down to Blubb-O's and try your dang self the Blubb-O's Classic.<br /> <br /> ''{The scene changes to a red background and a burger appears, with a label below saying &quot;Classic&quot; when the announcer names it.}''<br /> <br /> '''ANNOUNCER:''' The Original. The Regular. The New Original. The Old Classic.<br /> <br /> ''{Each time the announcer mentions another burger, another label with the burger's name appears on top of the previous ones, and the new type of burger replaces the old one, even though each burger is identical (except that it is flipped around each time). Then, a huge deep-fried triangle of fish appears between a burger bun, and another label appears over the others saying &quot;Isosceles Fish Sandwich??&quot;}''<br /> <br /> '''ANNOUNCER:''' And the Isosceles Fish Sandwich. Wait, fish sandwich? ''{A record scratch and the music stops.}'' We have a fish sandwich? Has anybody ever ordered that thing?<br /> <br /> ''{A beep is heard as the scene cuts abruptly to a kitchen with a lettuce, two onions, and two tomatoes lying on a counter top.}''<br /> <br /> '''ANNOUNCER:''' At Blubb-O's, all our vegetables are hand tossed through a refreshing cascade of water, and chopped in mid air.<br /> <br /> ''{As the announcer mentions this, the vegetables are thrown through a waterfall and chopped in half with a knife. The scene then changes to a Blubb-O's restaurant counter, with Homestar behind it, looking exhausted, wearing a yellow deli-style hat with the Drive-Thru Whale on it and a yellow apron.}''<br /> <br /> '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Welcome the crap to Blubb-O's. Would you like to try a combo meal, ''{Holds up a Blubb-O's meal bag.}'' some Chipotle Potato Nudules ''{Holds up a small paper dish with some [[French Fries|fries]].}'' or our Attempt-At-Competing-With-National-Coffee-Chains Premium Mocha-Chip Meltshake? ''{Holds up a cup with some cocoa beans and the word &quot;PREMIUM&quot; printed on it.}''<br /> <br /> ''{The camera cuts to Marzipan on the other side of the counter.}''<br /> <br /> '''MARZIPAN:''' I just have a question: do you actually use whale meat, or just regular fast food meat? I just need to know how hard I should protest you.<br /> <br /> ''{Marzipan holds up two signs, one with the Drive-Thru Whale with the text &quot;SAVE THE BLUBB-O WHALE&quot;, and the other with a caricature of the Drive-Thru Whale with the text &quot;really SAVE THE BLUBB-O WHALE&quot;.}''<br /> <br /> '''ANNOUNCER:''' ''{laughs}'' Family fun, and I'm talkin' about men in costumes, is what Blubb-O's is all about.<br /> <br /> ''{Cut to the field. Coach Z is in a large Drive-Thru Whale costume with some balloons next to him.}''<br /> <br /> '''COACH Z:''' Hey there kids! I'm the Drive-Thru Whale! ''{Jumps up and down and shouts.}'' I'll chop off your legs!<br /> <br /> ''{The view changes and Strong Sad is standing beside him.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG SAD:''' Sometimes it seems like you're ''trying'' to go to prison, Coach Z.<br /> <br /> '''COACH Z:''' Hey, three square meals a day!<br /> <br /> ''{The camera pans to the left where Strong Bad and The Cheat sit in a cardboard box with &quot;HMS Locash&quot; written on the side. Strong Bad is wearing his Archibald outfit from [[A Decemberween Pageant]] and holding a harpoon and The Cheat has a harpoon gun.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' Thar she blows, The Cheat! Aim for the blowhole!<br /> <br /> '''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' What? Whoa, I didn't even see Coach Z standing in a whale costume. Yeah, shoot him too!<br /> <br /> ''{As the sound of The Cheat firing the harpoon gun is heard, it cuts again to a red background with a pale Blubb-O's watermark.}''<br /> <br /> '''ANNOUNCER:''' And now for a limited time, introducing the Blubb-O's Thick 'n Nasty.<br /> <br /> ''{A burger with a really thick patty falls into frame, and a gold plate with &quot;THICK 'n NASTY&quot; on it appears on top. A drawing of Peacey P then pops up with a speech bubble saying &quot;that's right. ya'll blubb-o heads. the thick 'n nasty!&quot;}''<br /> <br /> '''PEACEY P:''' That's right, y'all Blubb-O heads. The Thick 'n Naaaaaaasty. ''{grunts}''<br /> <br /> ''{The camera pans right until a picture of Peacy P's mouth, with gold teeth with &quot;THICK 'N NASTY&quot; engraved on them, fills the screen with another speech bubble saying &quot;eeungh!&quot; The camera then cuts to the image of the Blubb-O's logo with &quot;YOU GUESSED IT...WE'RE CALLED BLUBB-O'S&quot; written below it.}''<br /> <br /> '''ANNOUNCER:''' Blubb-O's. You guessed it, we're called Blubb-O's.<br /> <br /> ''{Small lightning symbols start coming out of the logo's whale's mouth, and a speech bubble appears briefly saying &quot;REGISTER DOES NOT CONTAIN MORE THAN FIFTY DOCTORS.&quot; The logo shifts slightly, and rubbery sounds are heard, as if the logo were on a balloon.}''<br /> <br /> '''DRIVE-THRU WHALE:''' Register does not contain more than fifty doctors.<br /> <br /> ==Easter Eggs==<br /> *At the end, click on the whale's spout to see Bubs ordering burgers.<br /> :''{An angry Bubs is seen through the grill of the Drive-Thru Whale.}''<br /> :'''BUBS:''' No, I will not slice my fingers thin! I just wanna dang hambloiger!<br /> :''{Cut to see Bubs in the [[Gremlin]], without wheels and on cinder blocks, pulled up next to the Drive-Thru Whale.}''<br /> :'''BUBS:''' I got places to be, man!<br /> :'''DRIVE-THRU WHALE:''' You're living a lie. Would you like cash back?<br /> <br /> ==Fun Facts==<br /> ===Explanations===<br /> *The name &quot;Isosceles Fish Sandwich&quot; is a play on an [[Wikipedia:Triangle#Types of triangles|isosceles triangle]], a triangle with two of its three sides identical in length.<br /> *&quot;HMS&quot; is a British Naval designation used on ships, standing for [[Wikipedia:Her Majesty's Ship|Her Majesty's Ship]] or [[Wikipedia:His Majesty's Ship|His Majesty's Ship]] depending on the gender of the monarch.<br /> *Drive-Thru Whale's line &quot;register does not contain more than fifty doctors,&quot; is a corruption of &quot;register does not contain more than fifty dollars&quot;, a notice similar to one that businesses or restaurants might display to deter robbery.<br /> <br /> ===Trivia===<br /> *The Blubb-O's menu behind Homestar reads:<br /> {| class=&quot;wikitable&quot;<br /> |-<br /> |BLUBBO CLASSIC || 1.99 || NUDULES || 5.99<br /> |-<br /> |THE ORIGINAL || 2.99 || KETCHUP PACKET || 6.99<br /> |-<br /> |THE REGULAR || 3.99 || COFFEE STIRRER || 7.99<br /> |-<br /> |THE NEW ORIGINAL || 4.99 || GRAIN OF SALT || 8.99<br /> |}<br /> *Originally, each vegetable was cut as soon as it went through the waterfall, but this was changed soon after the toon was uploaded, so that they all get washed and then chopped separately.<br /> *The background shown on the loading screen and during the scenes that show the burgers and the vegetables is the same background used for [[Puppet Stuff]], with red instead of blue.<br /> <br /> ===Remarks===<br /> *According to [[road trip]], Bubs should not have been able to open the Gremlin's windows from the inside, and none of the car's external features suggest they could be opened from outside the vehicle.<br /> *The Gremlin's passenger-side window is completely opaque, and appears to be covered by a sheet of steel or other gray material.<br /> <br /> ===Goofs===<br /> *When The Cheat turns around to talk to Strong Bad in the HMS Locash, his lower back (or leg) pokes outside the box.<br /> <br /> ===Inside References===<br /> *&quot;Would you like to try a combo meal...?&quot; was the Drive-Thru Whale's first line in [[Drive-Thru]].<br /> *Strong Mad was shown holding a Blubb-O's bag in [[nightlife]].<br /> *&quot;I'll chop off your legs!&quot; is a variation of &quot;Sever your leg please, sir&quot;, and the background music is a variation of the Whale's music from [[Drive-Thru]].<br /> *The term &quot;meltshake&quot; was first used in [[road trip]].<br /> *Strong Bad is wearing his [[Archibald]] costume from [[A Decemberween Pageant]] when attempting to harpoon Strong Sad. &lt;!-- this is strong sad, strong bad says that he didn't even see coach z there, that's the joke. --&gt;<br /> *Bubs saying he wants &quot;a dang hambloiger&quot; is an instance of [[&quot;Er&quot; pronounced as &quot;Oi&quot;]].<br /> *&quot;Nudules&quot; were last mentioned in [[from work]]. There they were also associated with whales.<br /> *Strong Bad [[Strong Bad Smiling|smiles]], and so does [[Strong Mad Smiling|Strong Mad]].<br /> *Homestar's greeting is &quot;Welcome the [[crap]] to Blubb-O's.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===Real-World References===<br /> *Sandwiches named &quot;The Original&quot;, &quot;The Regular&quot; and &quot;The New Original&quot; may be a reference to the pseudo-band [[Spinal Tap]]. Early in their history they changed their name to The New Originals when they discovered that The Originals was already in use. According to the band, The Originals later changed their name to The Regulars.<br /> *The Attempt-At-Competing-With-National-Coffee-Chains Premium Mocha-Chip Meltshake is a reference to how many fast food outlets, like [[Wikipedia:McDonald's|McDonald's]], are touting their new &quot;high-quality&quot; coffee drinks as a way of competing with [[Wikipedia:Starbucks|Starbucks]].<br /> *The sign on Strong Bad's cardboard box boat reads &quot;HMS Locash&quot;, a reference to the movie [[Wikipedia:CB4|CB4]], a mockumentary about a fictional rap group that became famous for the song &quot;Straight Outta Locash&quot;. Locash is also the name of the town the band started from.<br /> *The phrase &quot;Save the Blubb-O Whale&quot;, which appears on Marzipan's protest signs, is derived from the name of [http://www.savethewhales.org/ Save the Whales], a non-profit organization founded in 1977 which focuses on marine mammal welfare.<br /> *The Thick 'n Nasty is a parody of the [[Wikipedia:Big N' Tasty|Big N' Tasty]], a hamburger from McDonald's that was designed to compete with [[Wikipedia:Burger King|Burger King]]'s Whopper.<br /> *The narrator's surprise at the Isosceles Triangle Fish sandwich comes from the general low quality and unpopularity of most fast food fish sandwiches.<br /> *Strong Bad's line, &quot;There she blows!&quot; is a famous quote from the [[Wikipedia:Herman Melville|Herman Melville]] novel [[Wikipedia:Moby-Dick|Moby-Dick]].<br /> <br /> ==External Links==<br /> *[[HR:blubbos.html|watch &quot;Blubb-O's Commercial&quot;]]<br /> *[[HR:blubbos.swf|view the Flash file for &quot;Blubb-O's Commercial&quot;]]<br /> *[[Forum:13717|forum thread re: &quot;Blubb-O's Commercial&quot;]]<br /> <br /> {{subtitlesLinks|blubbos}}<br /> <br /> [[Category:Shorts]]</div> Sat, 05 Apr 2008 00:14:49 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Talk:Blubb-O%27s_Commercial http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004 <p>GWR 2004:&#32;/* &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;About the User&lt;/span&gt; */</p> <hr /> <div>&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: 'trebuchet ms', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; background-color: #000066; color: #FFFFFF; border: 2px solid #0000FF; padding: 2px; font-size: 110%;&quot; class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #FF0000; padding: 2px; font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;GWR 2004&lt;/div&gt;<br /> &lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;border: 2px solid #FF9900; background-color: #FF0000; color: #FFFFFF;&quot;&gt;''GWR 2004 is inactive. You can [[User_talk:GWR_2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;add to my stack&lt;/span&gt;]] or just [http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=User:GWR_2004&amp;action=purge &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;purge the cache&lt;/span&gt;].''&lt;/div&gt;&lt;!-- &lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;border: 2px solid #FF9900; background-color: #00FF00; color: #000000;&quot;&gt;'''GWR 2004 is Active! You can [[User_talk:GWR_2004|bother me]]!'''&lt;/div&gt; --&gt;<br /> '''No more monospace!'''<br /> __FORCETOC__<br /> {{userboxtop}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#006400|mainbkgd=#ADFF2F|codebkgd=#2E8B57|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:HomsarPotion-ma-jig.png|30px]]|msg=This user enjoys doing '''[[HRWiki:WikiGnome|Gnome work]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF6103|codebkgd=#000000 |codecolor=#FF6103|code=RC|msg=This user patrols '''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent Changes]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#00008B|mainbkgd=#F5F5F5|codebkgd=#0000CD |codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=WP|msg=This user is also on '''[[Wikipedia:User:Gwr2004|Wikipedia]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#DAA520|mainbkgd=#FAFAD2|codebkgd=#F0E68C|codecolor=#000000|code=UN|msg=This user is also on '''&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004 Uncyclopedia]&lt;/span&gt;'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#FFFF00|mainbkgd=#FFFF00|codebkgd=#FF0000|codecolor=#9900FF|code=YIM|msg=This user has an '''&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;Instant message address (that I almost never use, so don't ask me for it)&lt;/span&gt;'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FFFFFF|codebkgd=#000000|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=EM|msg=This user has an '''Email address'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FFF|msg=&lt;table width=&quot;100%&quot;&gt;&lt;tr style=&quot;background:#E0F5E1&quot;&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Courier New, monospace&quot;&gt;'''&gt; [[Special:Emailuser/{{PAGENAME}}|Click here]] to'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr style=&quot;background:#E0F5E1&quot;&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Courier New, monospace&quot;&gt;'''email this user'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:qod 2 - strong bad.PNG|35px]]|msg=This user's favorite character is '''[[Strong Bad]]'''.}}<br /> |}<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;About the Formatting&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> No matter how much you try to make your computer screen a piece of paper, all that white will strain your eyes. It's light! It's going to do that! Light text on a dark background will cut down the light and conserve your eyes. Hence, this heavy formatting.<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;About the User&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> === &lt;div style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Time Spent at Home&lt;/div&gt; ===<br /> &lt;table cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; width=&quot;100%&quot;&gt;&lt;tr&gt;<br /> &lt;td style=&quot;background-color: #FF0000;&quot; width=&quot;55%&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #FFFFFF;&quot;&gt;Bedroom&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;background-color: #00FF00; color: #000000;&quot; width=&quot;45%&quot;&gt;Elsewhere&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Basic Information&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> {| style=&quot;background-color: #000099; border: 2px solid #00FFFF; color: #FFFFFF;&quot;<br /> |-<br /> ! Field !! Data<br /> |-<br /> | Age || 16<br /> |-<br /> | Gender || Male<br /> |-<br /> | E-Mail || See the pretty toolbox or the even ''prettier'' userbox!<br /> |-<br /> | State || [[Wikipedia:Missouri|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Missouri&lt;/span&gt;]]<br /> |}<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;The HRWiki and me&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> I've been a member of this fine wiki since October 4, 2004. I mainly fix grammatical and spelling errors and vote in the [useful] [[HRWiki:STUFF|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;STUFF&lt;/span&gt;]]. Occasionally I participate in discussions. [[HRWiki:Da Basement|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;I really don't think trolls will be enough of a problem for me to twart any.&lt;/span&gt;]] Well, here at least, but I am a [[Wikipedia:User:Gwr2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Wikipedian&lt;/span&gt;]]. Now I'm just ramblin', so [[huttah!|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;MOVING ON&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Miscellaneous Crap&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> <br /> ==== &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Interests&lt;/span&gt; ====<br /> *NOT TV... except for news. I'm an infomaniac.<br /> *HRWiki. Duh.<br /> *Wikipedia<br /> *Algebra<br /> *Heavy-duty walking<br /> *Cats... just not 15 or more in the same room.<br /> *Computers... I'm a geek.<br /> *VAMPIRES!!!<br /> *Testing gullibility<br /> <br /> == [http://www.homestarrunner.com/ &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;Homestar Runner&lt;/span&gt;] &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;and '''Him'''&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> '''Come back tomorrow'''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Wiki Contributions&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> Yes, I know this is sad. I just browse the wiki, not recent changes. Maybe that will change some day!<br /> <br /> ''02:25, 14 October 2005 (UTC)''<br /> <br /> ''Reverted '''1''' troll edit.''<br /> <br /> ''Added '''1''' troll to the [[HRWiki:WikiTroll|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;troll list&lt;/span&gt;]].''<br /> <br /> ''Welcomed '''1''' user successfully ('''1''' unsuccessful welcome&amp;mdash;[[User:Nintendork|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Nintendork&lt;/span&gt;]] - odd sitcheeation)''<br /> <br /> ''Joined '''2''' committees:&lt;br /&gt;[[HRWiki:Welcoming committee|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Welcoming Committee&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;br /&gt;[[HRWiki:Recent changes patrol|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Recent Changes Patrol&lt;/span&gt;]]''<br /> <br /> ''Beat the crap out of spelling and grammatical errors and made some text &lt;sup&gt;superscript&lt;/sup&gt;''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Support Spelling, Capitalization, Punctuation, and Grammar!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> I hereby promise that any grammatical or spelling error that is spotted by me will be immediately fixed.<br /> <br /> Examples of misspelling/grammatical errors (somehow, my '''''language arts''''' teacher made these stnanks):<br /> *Common ''curtsey''... (Curtsey? Don't you mean ''courtesy''?)<br /> *make-up work | make up work | makeup work (Um... the first one is the best choice, but at least be consistent!)<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Support Firefox!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> [http://www.getfirefox.com &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;Get Firefox!&lt;/span&gt;]<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Sig!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #FFFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #00FF00; padding: 2px;&quot;&gt;{{User:gwr2004/sig}}&lt;/div&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == {{subst:User:GWR2004/headtemplate|Miscellaneous Crap}} ==<br /> Goodbye, and [http://gwr.gotdns.com &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;This&lt;/span&gt;] is a (my) Website!!! --&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Notes&lt;/span&gt; == --&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Modules&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #FFCCCC; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #00FF00; padding: 2px; overflow: scroll; height: 250px;&quot;&gt;<br /> === What the crap is a module box? ===<br /> You're looking at one right now. These are for sections that can get kinda outta hand. They have their own scroll box so that it's harder to misinterpret the amount of ''actual'' content just by using the mail window's scrollbar. These are useful for user interaction, like the ever-so-popular guestbook (see below). Made by explicitly stating the size in CSS and using a cool property: &lt;code&gt;&amp;lt;div style=&quot;&lt;/code&gt; your other CSS code &lt;code&gt;overflow: scroll; height: &lt;/code&gt;x&lt;code&gt;;&quot;&amp;gt;content&amp;lt;/div&amp;gt;&lt;/code&gt;<br /> &lt;/div&gt; --&gt;<br /> &lt;/div&gt;</div> Wed, 30 Jan 2008 00:59:56 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses <p>GWR 2004:&#32;/* Walkthrough Messages */ Telll him I said 'haldo'.</p> <hr /> <div>[[Image:PQ_look_footprints.png|thumb|300px|&gt; LOOK FOOTPRINTS]]<br /> The [[Peasant's Quest]] game relies on text commands to complete objectives in the game. While there are programmed responses to all of the necessary actions in the game's storyline, the game contains many responses to unproductive commands as well.<br /> <br /> {| border=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;toc&quot;<br /> ! align=&quot;center&quot; | {{int:toc}}<br /> |-<br /> | align=&quot;left&quot; |<br /> *[[#Walkthrough Messages|1 Walkthrough Messages]]<br /> *[[#The Three Keepers' Messages|2 The Three Keepers' Messages]]<br /> **[[#The First Keeper|2.1 The First Keeper]]<br /> **[[#The Second Keeper|2.2 The Second Keeper]]<br /> **[[#The Third Keeper|2.3 The Third Keeper]]<br /> *[[#Area Descriptions|3 Area Descriptions]]<br /> *[[#Other Productive Responses|4 Other Productive Responses]]<br /> **[[#Constructive Conversations|4.1 Constructive Conversations]]<br /> **[[#Useful Documents|4.2 Useful Documents]]<br /> **[[#Helpful Hints|4.3 Helpful Hints]]<br /> *[[#Unproductive Responses|5 Unproductive Responses]]<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==Walkthrough Messages==<br /> {{spoiler}}<br /> The following are the messages displayed while completing the minimal number of tasks to achieve a perfect score. Note that different messages may be displayed for a game completed differently (e.g. if the Three Keepers' questions are answered), and that there are [[#Unproductive Responses|many other messages]] that may be displayed in response to inputs that are not constructive and/or not essential to completion of the game.<br /> <br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Points !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || YOU are Rather Dashing, a humble peasant living in the peasant kingdom of Peasantry.&lt;br&gt;You return home from a vacation on Scalding Lake only to find that TROGDOR THE BURNINATOR has burninated your thatched roof cottage along with all your goods and services.&lt;br&gt;With nothing left to lose, you swear to get revenge on the Wingaling Dragon in the name of burninated peasants everywhere. || 3B<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || You head east towards the mountain atop which TROGDOR lives. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || That's a nice looking lake. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || You can start playing in a second here. || 2D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || Okay, go for it. || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || get pebbles || You grab up a handful of fairly substantial pebbles. You make sure to get an even mix of sedentary, igneous, and, um, sureptitious rocks. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || put rocks in bucket || You plunk all your pebbles into the bucket. The weight causes it to descend to the bottom of the well with a quickness! || 1D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || turn crank || &quot;The crank seems to have loosened and you haul the bucket back up. What's this? Why there's a monster maskus in there! No doubt leftover from some pagan ritual. Silly pagans.&lt;br&gt;You grab up the scary moster maskus. Man, this thing could scare a horse! || 1D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || talk man || &quot;Oh, hi. I'm Mendelev,&quot; says the archer. &quot;I used to run a shooting range here with my brother Dongolev. But we don't talk so much anymore. I haven't seen him in a Jhonka's age. If you ever run into him, tell him I said 'haldo'.&lt;br&gt;&quot;You mean 'hello,'&quot; you ask?&lt;br&gt;&quot;Oh, um. No. Shut up. I said 'haldo' and I meant 'haldo.' Tell him I said 'haldo.'&quot;<br /> || 2D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || wear mask || You slip on the hideous monster maskus.&lt;br&gt;You scared the crap outta Poor Gary! He broke on through to the other side! || 1A<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || haldo || the archer stops arching and turns to you. &quot;My brother told you to tell me haldo? He must want to start the old business back up!&quot; || Hidden glen<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || get arrow || You pick out a really good one and yank it from the tree. Hooray! Now you have an arrow! || Hidden glen<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || get chicken feed || You used to eat this stuff like crazy when you were a kid and your parents weren't watching (which was all too often). You grab several large handfuls. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || the baby lady calls after you, &quot;Hey, you're on some quest right? Well, the little squirt here lost something of mine in the yard the other day. It's yours if you can find it.&quot; || Baby lady cottage<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (first bush) || You reach into the bush to snag some berries but they all just squish in your hand. || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (second bush) || Man, nothing in this bush but squished berries either. || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (third bush) || Too bad you don't want any squished berries, cuz hey: jackpot! || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 2 || get berries (fourth bush) || You reach into the bush to snag you some berries but instead find a Super Trinket! These things are awesome! You have a sneaking suspicion that SOMEONE in this game will need this thing. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || throw chicken feed || You toss the feed into the lake. You shed a tear for each one. &quot;Goodbye, Monty&quot; you sniff. &quot;Bye Delga, Rasputin. Farewell, Combledon!&quot; and so forth.&lt;br&gt;Woah! That crotchety old man just caught a pantload of fish! &quot;Now I can get back to running the inn,&quot; he says and rows to shore and hauls his boat out and cleans, guts, and filets all the fish and a buncha other stuff we didn't animate. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || give super trinket || &quot;That'll work,&quot; says Mendelev. Just hit 3 bullseyes and you win the SuperTime FunBow TM!&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;The ARROW KEYS aim left and right and the SPACE BAR operates the bow. You'll need to press it a couple of times to get a nice shot off but we don't give lessons so you're on your own.&quot; || 2C<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (get [X]=3-5 bullseyes) || &quot;Nice shootin! [X] hits.&quot; Says Mendelev. &quot;Here's your prize!&quot; You got the SuperTime FunBow TM! We don't sell ammo, so you'll have to find your own arrows for it. || 2C<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || shoot Kerrek with bow || Here goes nothin', Kid Icarus&lt;br&gt;ARROWED!! Nice shot. You smote the Kerrek! He lay there stinking.&lt;br&gt;A light rain heralds the washing free of the Kerrek's grip on the land. You're feeling pretty good, though, so the artless symbolism doesn't bug you. || 1B or 4C<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || get belt || You strap the Kerrek's belt buckle around your waist. Oh boy. You sure stink now. || 1B or 4C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || (walk into mud puddle) || Now you've done it! You're covered in sticky, albeit fine smelling, mud. Your &quot;Scalding Lake&quot; T-shirt is all soiled, too. You just washed it last harvest! || 2B<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || jump into hay || You've not known much better than a roll in the hay alone.&lt;br&gt;You leap in the hay like a two years old boy. Uh oh. The hay sticks to your muddy body. You're a walking hay bale! Just like that one guy from that one show! || 2A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (walk to Jhonka's cave) || Hey, nice disguise! The Jhonka doesn't seem to notice you. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 7 || steal riches || Oh OH! A stiff breeze blew all the hay and, surprisingly, the mud off of you! &quot;You take my riches?!&quot; growls the Jhonka. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || No || &quot;Okay. Lemme know if you see riches anywhere,&quot; he grunts and goes back to his hopping. You smooth talker, you. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give riches || &quot;My riches!!&quot; she screams and snatches up every last gold coin. &quot;Thanks, sucker! Here you go!&quot; she shoves the baby into your hands and bolts out the door.&lt;br&gt;You later learn that she does this all the time and is wanted throughout the countryside. Those riches probably WERE the Jhonka's and who knows whose baby that is. Well, it's yours now. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || This place is dead anyway. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || throw baby || Something tells you this is a good idea and you lob the little one into the lake.&lt;br&gt;You won't be arrested after all! The little guy has resurfaced safely, carrying an old bottle of soda. You take the soda and stow your swaddling buddy for takeoff. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || put baby in bucket || Okay, Father of the Year. You put a baby in a bucket and it quickly descends deep into the well. Yours is a black, black heart. || 1C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || turn crank || You haul the bucket back up. Lucky for you, the baby is still in it and appears to be unscathed. As a bonus, it looks like he found a Meatball sub down there. Score! You take the sub.&lt;br&gt;Oh, and the baby. You take the baby. || 1C<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give baby || &quot;Well lookit that little guy!&quot; says the Innkeeper. &quot;You want a treat, do ya? What do babies like?&quot; He fishes around in his pockets.&lt;br&gt;&quot;Um, how bout my medication!&quot; You grab the bottle of pills before he can force them on the baby. &quot;Hey, those were for him!&quot; || inn<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || move rock || You slide the stone over to reveal a little hole. If only you could cut off your arms, legs, and head you might be able to squeeze through! || 4A<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || put baby into the hole || Deploying Q-Baby...&lt;br&gt;Way to go, baby! It got the cottage door opened and headed off to a new life. He becomes Valedictorian of his graduating class, goes to Scalding Lake State, gets a degree in Advanced Peasantry and lands a job at Thatch-Pro: building better cottages for a better tomorrow.&lt;br&gt;You grow apart and the letters from him become fewer and fewer. He develops a severe mead problem and blames you for never being there. || 4A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open drawer || There's a vintage peasant robe in there! Just like grampa used to wear. || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || get robe || Yeah! Get that robe! || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || close drawer || Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint. || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || wear robe || You slip into the vintage robe. It smells like grampa's lap. Now you're lookin like a serious peasant. || anywhere<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || get room || &quot;Okay, youngster,&quot; says the decrepit old person. &quot;Just bed on down for the night and I'm sure I'll remember to collect the fee come morning.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Night falls like a bad power point presentation.&lt;br&gt;What an uncomfortable bed! You sleep for maybe 20 minutes before the extreme pain in your spine forces you to get up.|| Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || get pot || You reach way up to the top shelf.&lt;br&gt;Oh great! Now you can't see a thing and your head is covered in highly flammable horse grease. You better get out of here before that disgusting old man comes back. || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (exiting inn with pot on head) || Phew! You discard the big black pot and wipe the horse grease from your eyes. The hood of your robe is still covered in highly flammable horse grease, though. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || (walking under candle in burninated trees) || Whoa! The horse grease on your robe caught fire! You're a for-real peasant now. || 4E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (exiting 4E) || Man, screens sure get light fast around here. || 1E, 3E, or 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 7 || talk knight || Lookin good, Mr. Peasant. Good luck with ol' Beefy Arm up there.&lt;br&gt;This is it! You can finally get revenge on Trogdor! Nice work so far, stupid!&lt;br&gt;Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter.&lt;br&gt;Disk read error. Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter. || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || climb || With a new determination you dig your fingers into the cliff face and begin to haul yourself up the mountain like you were in a sports drink commercial&lt;br&gt;The mountain starts rumbling and big loose boulders start tumblin down. You'd best avoid thems. || Cliff base<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (successfully climbing the cliff without dying) || Nice jorb climbing the cliff. You have a real way with those arrow keys. || Cliffland heights<br /> |-id=&quot;bribery_route&quot;<br /> | 0 || (approached by first keeper) || Foolish peasant! How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!&lt;br&gt;You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!&lt;br&gt;You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.&lt;br&gt;And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.&lt;br&gt;Unless you happen to have something to eat on ya. Then we could forego my question. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give sandwich || No way! I was just kidding but you've really got a meatball sub. This rules! Here, you can have the Trog-Shield. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (approached by second keeper) || Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!&lt;br&gt;Or we could call it even if I had an ice cold drink right now. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give soda || Sweet deal, peasant. I underestimated you. Wear this Trog-Helmet with style. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (approached by third keeper) || Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!&lt;br&gt;That is, unless you've got something for my lower back. Man, it's killin me! || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give pills || Whoa! Where'd you find this stuff? I don't think this is even legal anymore. These babies'll definitely smote LUMBAGO the, um, LOWER BACKINATOR!!&lt;br&gt;The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (enter Trogdor's cave) || the beaded curtain slams shut behind you. There's no turning back now. || Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 7 || throw sword || This is it! You hurl the Trog-Sword with all your might at the sleeping Burninator.&lt;br&gt;Now you've done it! Trogdor's awake and the Trog-Sword doesn't seem to be doing a whole lot.&lt;br&gt;Your legs lock in fear, your eyes glaze over and you wish for some Depeasant adult undergarments. But you think you hear Trogdor whimpering!&lt;br&gt;Aw crap, that's you whimpering. At least your voice still works, I guess.|| Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 10 || talk trogdor || You scream that your name is Rather Dashing and that Trogdor burninated your cottage and you're here for revenge!&lt;br&gt;&quot;Sup, mortal,&quot; booms Trogdor. &quot;I really appreciate you making the effort to come all the way up here and vanquish me and all. But, I'm kinda indestructible.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Yeah, I can't be killed. I'm surprised nobody mentioned that to you. I'll admit though, you've gotten farther than anybody else ever has. I bet they'll make a statue or something in honor of you somewheres.&lt;br&gt;&quot;I can honestly say it'll be a pleasure and an honor to burninate you, Rather Dashing.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Aw that sure was nice of him!&lt;br&gt;Congratulations! You've won! No one can kill Trogdor but you came closer than anybody ever! Way to go! || Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Peasant's Quest&lt;br&gt;Written by Matt, Jonathan, and Mike || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Programmed by Jonathan || 1E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Graphics by Mike and Matt || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Quality Assurance Types:&lt;br&gt;Neal Stamper,&lt;br&gt;Don Chapman, and John Radle&lt;br&gt;Nice work on winning and everything.&lt;br&gt;THE END || 3B<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==The Three Keepers' Messages==<br /> There are several messages that the game may return while [[Rather Dashing]] is answering questions of [[The Three Keepers of Trogdor]]. The simplest way to complete this part of the game is to bribe the Keepers; the messages returned in this case are listed [[Peasant's Quest Responses#bribery_route|above]]. If Rather Dashing has not acquired the three items necessary to bribe the Keepers, however, he must answer a question from each of them. The messages returned while answering their questions are listed here.<br /> <br /> ===The First Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!&lt;br&gt;You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!&lt;br&gt;You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.&lt;br&gt;And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> ''The First Keeper will ask you one of the following questions (the correct answer is '''highlighted'''):''<br /> :Okay here goes. What did you win from the Archery game?<br /> :A. SuperBow FunTime TM<br /> :'''B. SuperTime FunBow TM'''<br /> :C. SuperFun BowTime TM<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Okay here goes. What does Mendelev have you tell Dongolev?<br /> :'''A. Haldo'''<br /> :B. Hallo<br /> :C. Allo<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Okay here goes. What is the only creature the Jhonka fears?<br /> :A. Poor Gary<br /> :B. The Baby<br /> :'''C. The Kerrek'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;Ah crap! You're right. Here, take this stupid Trog-Shield!&quot;<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> &quot;Sorry peasant! You fail! And as punishment, you will be turned into...RON CUMBERDALE!!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> You ask who the crap Ron Cumberdale is.<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> &quot;Just this kid from 4th grade that I really hated. But he was a BIG LOSER and HE SMELLED!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Well, you not exactly dead. But there's no way you could defeat Trogdor as Ron Cumberdale. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.<br /> <br /> ===The Second Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> :Listen careful now. Which one of these letters is the letter C?<br /> :A. B<br /> :'''B. C'''<br /> :C. A<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Listen careful now. How many berry bushes are there in the whole kingdom of Peasantry?<br /> :A. 4<br /> :'''B. 5'''<br /> :C. 6<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Listen careful now. What was the Innkeeper's pantry full of?<br /> :A. Epsom Salts<br /> :B. Epson Printers<br /> :'''C. Old Man Rub'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;That's right. Oh. This sucks. Guess I have to give you this Trog-Helmet. Dang.&quot;<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> &quot;WRONG! You are hereby cursed to write corny folk songs for the rest of eternity! The kind that only OLD PEOPLE LIKE!!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Well, you not exactly dead. But you certainly can't face Trogdor after writing 'Wheat Grows Sweet, But My Gal's Sweeter'. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.<br /> <br /> ===The Third Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> :Riddle me this. To whom did the robe you're wearing originally belong?<br /> :A. Nobleman Nicholas<br /> :B. Nina Neverawesome<br /> :'''C. Naked Ned'''<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Riddle me this. What color are the leaves on the tree that grows by the well?<br /> :'''A. Orange'''<br /> :B. Green<br /> :C. Yellow<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Riddle me this. Which way does the river that runs through Peasantry flow?<br /> :A. West to East<br /> :B. Northwest to South<br /> :'''C. Northeast to Southwest'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;Uh oh. You got it right. Trogdor's gonna kill me. Okay, you can have the Trog-Sword. Just promise not to kill any Trogdor's with it, kay?&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> You just stare at the Keeper blankly.<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> &quot;Okay fine! You can have the dumb thing anyways. Trogdor's through the beaded curtain over there.&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant.<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> YES! I was hoping you'd get mine wrong. No Trog-Sword for you. In fact, no skin for you either!<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Wow. You sure dead. You had a good run, though. Thanks for playin.<br /> <br /> ''Note: if you fail to provide &quot;A&quot;, &quot;B&quot;, or &quot;C&quot; as an answer to any of the above questions, the Keeper will ask the question again, replacing the first sentence with the following one:'' Peasant fool! Choose A, B, or C!<br /> <br /> ==Area Descriptions==<br /> By typing &quot;look&quot; in an area, you can receive a description of the surrounding area. Sometimes descriptions change as events come to pass.<br /> <br /> *'''Hidden Glen:''' Well, looky here! A hidden glen! You LOVE hidden glens. This one has some kinda archer in it.<br /> **''{after Dongelev leaves}'' You're in a hidden glen. There's a tree with zillions of arrows in it.<br /> *'''Poor Gary's Glen ([[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|A1]]):''' Hey! There's a rotten ol' horse over there!<br /> *'''Kerrek Tracks 1 (B1):''' There are large hoof prints in the grass here.<br /> **''{no Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the the [sic] grass here. And it smells like a public latrine.<br /> **''{living Kerrek}'' It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!<br /> **''{dead Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. There is a large Kerrek-shaped mound on the grass.<br /> **''{rotting Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Part of the ground looks just like a rotting &lt;!--no capital--&gt;kerrek.<br /> **''{skeletal Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Looks like someone left their spare bones here.<br /> *'''Old Well (C1):''' There's a really generic well here. Oh, and apparently it's autumn on this screen.<br /> *'''Yellow Tree (D1):''' Rushing river [[b/w]] yellow tree.<br /> *'''Waterfall (E1):''' There's a beautiful, magical waterfall cascading down the cliff side.<br /> *'''That Hay Bale (A2):''' Well, there's that big bale of hay over there.<br /> **''{when in hay disguise, anywhere}'' Right now, you see a bunch of hay.<br /> *'''That Mud Puddle (B2):''' There's a dried out mud puddle. It's all caked and cracked like the kind rock stars are always standing on.<br /> **''{when raining}'' Not much to see. 'Sides that big mud puddle.<br /> *'''Archery Range (C2):''' You've come across some kind of shooting gallery. There's a depressed looking archer at the desk there.<br /> *'''River and Stone (D2):''' Not much to see. River's got a rock in it.<br /> *'''Mountain Pass (E2):''' You've reached the mountain pass that leads to Trogdor's lair. A royal knight blocks the entrance.<br /> *'''Jhonka's Cave (A3):''' There's a little cave with a little door with a little note on it.<br /> **''{before getting riches, after Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.&lt;!--No space--&gt;A fat pile of riches lies next to him.<br /> **''{after the Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.<br /> *'''Your Burninated Cottage (B3):''' The remains of your thatched-roof cottage lie before you. You swear revenge against Trogdor.<br /> *'''Pebble Lake West (C3):''' There's definitely half a lake here with a sandy shore.<br /> *'''Pebble Lake East (D3):''' Why it's half a lake.<br /> **''{when the old man is fishing}'' Why it's half a lake.&lt;!--there's no space--&gt;With a fisherman in it. And he's fishing!<br /> *'''Outside Giant Inn (E3):''' There's a giant Inn here. It takes up, like, the entire screen.<br /> **'''Inside Giant Inn:''' What a dump! Only one bed and no minibar? The Innkeeper stands behind the desk and there's a door that's closed.<br /> **'''Inside Giant Inn:''' ''{at night}'' It's still dark out. The grimey old Innkeeper is gone and he left the pantry open.<br /> *'''Outside Mysterious Cottage: (A4)''' There's a run-of-the-mill non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.<br /> **'''Inside Mysterious Cottage:''' This place could use some serious sprucing of the 'up' variety. There's a dresser over there and a broom kind of silhouetted all mysterious like.<br /> *'''Wavy Tree (B4):''' Nothing special here except for that weird wavy tree.<br /> *'''Kerrek Tracks 2 (C4):''' ''{same as Kerrek Tracks 1}''<br /> *'''Outside Baby Lady Cottage (D4):''' There's a ranch-style thatched roof cottage here. There are also what appear to be four crunch berry bushes but you can't be sure.<br /> **'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. A lady rocks her baby in a chair. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.<br /> **'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' ''{after the baby lady leaves}'' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. There is one of those self-rocking chairs. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.<br /> *'''Burninated Trees (E4):''' A signal lantern of some kind hangs from a burninated tree.<br /> **''{at night}'' A burning signal lantern hangs from a severely burninated tree.<br /> *'''Cliff Base:''' You're at the base of a very climbable cliff that leads to Trogdor's lair. This cliff is huge - the kind where rocks start falling down the minute you try to climb it.<br /> *'''Cliffland Heights:''' Wow! It sure gets creepy fast around here! What with all the lightning and scary cave entrances.<br /> *'''Trogdor's Outer Sanctum:''' There are 3 openings with a little cliff in front of each. A beaded curtain hangs in a doorway on the far wall.<br /> *'''Trogdor's Posh Lair:''' You're in a giant cavern which houses a giant dragon. You didn't shrink or anything.<br /> <br /> ==Other Productive Responses==<br /> ===Constructive Conversations===<br /> There are some helpful residents of [[Peasantry]] who will provide you with tips about how to proceed in the game. While these conversations are not necessary for completion of the game, many are important to the game's storyline.<br /> <br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Character !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (at beginning of game) || You explain your situation to the knight. That Trogdor burninated your cottage and you've sworn revenge. You ask for passage up the mountain to settle your score. (Press RETURN to advance through conversations)&lt;br&gt;&quot;Hang on there, Trogdorkilla,&quot; says the knight. &quot;I can only allow actual peasants up the mountain pass to face Trogdor. And you CLEARLY are not one.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Look, Dragonheart...&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;You don't STINK like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;You don't DRESS like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;And you're definitely not ON FIRE like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Once you're those 3 things, come back and maybe we can talk.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Be sure to LOOK around lots. Talk to everyone you see and ASK ABOUT stuff. Type HELP if you get confused and INVENTORY to see your worldly stuff. Type SAVE or LOAD to save or load your game. Duh.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;belt_only&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt) || &quot;Frankly, Matthew Broderick, you sure stink like a peasant. But you still don't DRESS like a peasant and you're not ON FIRE like a peasant.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;robe_only&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Naked Ned's robe) || &quot;My dear Adso, you are dressed well but you don't STINK and you're not ON FIRE. Let us instead exercise our brains and try to solve this tantalizing conundrum.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;belt_and_robe&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt and Naked Ned's robe) || &quot;Almost there, Dirk the Daring. You stink like a peasant and you dress like one too. But you're clearly still not ON FIRE.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | [[Baby Lady &amp; Her Baby#The Baby Lady|The Baby Lady]] || talk lady || &quot;Hello, I'm-&quot; you start but the lady cuts you off&lt;br&gt;&quot;Okay, here's why I let you in here,&quot; she explains. &quot;My husband got squished by Trogdor. And to make matters worse, the insurance riches I got were stolen by Jhonka. Go steal them back for us and I'll give you something great.&quot; || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || talk man (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || You holler at the old man about Trogdor, but he just grumbles about the fish not biting. &quot;Must be using the wrong bait...&quot; he says, suggestively. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || talk man (after throwing chicken feed in lake) || &quot;If you're interested in staying the night, just type 'get a room.'&quot; || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || get a room (without robe)|| &quot;I only serve peasants here, fancypants!&quot; barks the old guy. &quot;Where's your robe?&quot; || Inside giant inn<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ===Useful Documents===<br /> There are a few notes and documents lying around Peasantry that help Rather Dashing on his quest.<br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Item !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | [[Peasant's Quest Items#map|Map]] || get map || You tuck it nice-like into your short, short pants. Type MAP at nearly any time to check the map. || 3B<br /> |-<br /> | Note on [[Old Man]]'s door || read note (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || It says, &quot;Gone Fishin&quot; just like that grog coozie your cousin got you. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | Note on [[Jhonka]]'s door || read note (before killing [[Kerrek]]) || It says &quot;scared of kerrek. go way. -j&quot; || 3A<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ===Helpful Hints===<br /> At times when you stray from the correct path in the game, the computer will respond with suggestions to help keep you on the right track.<br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! Action !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | After jumping in the haystack, go from 2A to any screen except 3A || Drat. The winds are heavy on all but a couple of key screens... looks like you're no longer in stealth mode. || 1A or 2B<br /> |-<br /> | Type any command while the pot of horse grease is on your head || You need to get out of there before that smelly octogenarian gets back. || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | Type any command other than &quot;Talk&quot; or &quot;Talk Trogdor&quot; after Trogdor wakes up || Trogdor is awake and a couple seconds from a Rather Dashing BBQ. Might as well say your peace with him. || Trogdor's Posh Lair<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==Unproductive Responses==<br /> [[Image:closedrawer.PNG|thumb|300px|&gt; CLOSE DRAWER]]<br /> There are many messages that the game gives you when you input commands that are not essential to the game's storyline. Here is a list of all that have been found. When more than one option is given, such as &quot;get/take _____&quot;, either word will produce the same response.<br /> <br /> <br /> {{compactTOC3}}<br /> {{clear}}<br /> ===#===<br /> <br /> ===A===<br /> *'''&quot;Ask about _____&quot;:'''<br /> **'''Baby:'''<br /> ***(to Baby Lady) - &quot;This little guy's all I got left. If only someone would steal back all our riches from that filthy Jhonka.&quot;<br /> **'''Fire:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Well, whenever I see peasants, they tend to be on fire. So get yourself on fire. I hear horse grease gives a nice, controlled burn.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;You need fire? A couple of trees over by the waterfall used to be on fire. But now there's like a signal lantern over there or something.&quot; / &quot;So should I ask that signal lantern?&quot; you ask. / &quot;I dunno man! Whattaya want from me?&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Trogdor just burned down some idiot peasant's cottage. You should ask him,&quot; says Mendelev. / &quot;Yeah, this jerk goes on vacation to some prancey lake and...&quot; / They see you staring daggers at them and turn bright red. / &quot;Oh. Nevermind,&quot; says Dongolev. &quot;Um, yeah. What's a fire?&quot; adds Mendelwhatever.<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Burninator make fire! Barbecue all peasants!&quot;<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I've always preferred being on fire at night. Looks prettier and keeps the butterflies away.&quot;<br /> **'''Jhonka:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Since the Kerrek showed up, we don't see the Jhonka so much anymore. He lives in that little cave over in west Peasantry.&quot;<br /> ***(to Baby Lady) - &quot;That nasty thing killed my husband and took my riches!!&quot; / &quot;I thought Trogdor killed your husband,&quot; you interject. / &quot;Oh right. Yeah. That's what I said. Trogband killed my husbdor.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;The Kerrek is dead!&quot; he cries and hops around some more. You wonder how someone this primitive could have made that much dough.<br /> **'''Kerrek:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I call him Big Stinky. He's slow and stupid, but he'll pound you into milks meat without a second thought.&quot;<br /> **'''Naked Ned:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;That weirdo used to live over in west Peasantry but now I guess he just prances around the forest in his birthday suit.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;Don't talk about that pervert in front of the baby here.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;That guy creeps us out. In fact, shut up about him.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Filthy naked peasant! Stay away from my cave-hole!&quot; Who's he calling naked? HE'S the one wearing the string bikini.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;He used to be such a nice, clothed young man. Wonder what he's done with all his old clothes?&quot;<br /> **'''robe:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Peasants wear those brown robes. You know, with the rope around the waist. Get yourself one of those.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;You can't have mine, pervert! I'm not a nudist peasant like that weirdo over in west Peasantry!&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;We wouldn't know. We only wear archer clothes. You just can't arch real well in a robe, y'know?&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - ''see naked ned''<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I wear my robe hood-down so it's easier to trim my ear-hairs. If you need a robe, maybe try someone that's not using theirs.&quot;<br /> **'''smell:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I never met a peasant that didn't stink. If you wanna smell bad, get the Kerrek involved. That thing reeks!&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;What smells is junior here's drawers! I gotta quit feeding him so much horse!&quot; / &quot;And don't start asking me for his diapers, sicko!&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;That giant pig running around sure smells bad. Maybe talk to him.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Kerrek smell! Now Kerrek dead!&quot; screeches the Jhonka. So you can infer from this that all smells are dead? You always sucked at the analytical questions.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;Well, if you don't stink, maybe find something that does and wear it. Like a dead carcass or summat.&quot;<br /> **'''trogdor:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;If I had a gold coin for every whining peasant's cottage that freaking dragon burninated, I'd be rich as a jhonka.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;I hope you kill that stupid dragon. My 'Wives of Squished Peasants' support group would bake you a Poor Gary pie if you did.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Oh man, there was this one time when I came THIS close to having Trogdor ARROWED!&quot; says Dongolev. / &quot;Hey, shut up! That was me!&quot; interrupts Mendelev, &quot;YOU almost arrowed that blue baby!&quot; says Dongolev. [sic] / &quot;Did not!&quot; / &quot;Did so!&quot; / &quot;Did not!&quot; / (You see where this is going.)<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;All hail Burninator! Trogdor Number One! Beat Peasant Tech!&quot; says the grimy Jhonka.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;Are you talking about that young green boy that lives up the street? He's always tearing my roof off and eating my customers.&quot;<br /> **'''anything else:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I don't know anything about that, short pants.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;I dunno what you're talking about.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Either we don't know anything about that, or you're real boring.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Jhonka don't know nothing bout that!&quot;<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I don't know nothing about no whatever you just said.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere else) - &quot;Ask about what?&quot;<br /> : &lt;small&gt;* - You can only ask Mendelev and Dongolev when they're together.&lt;/small&gt;<br /> *'''&quot;attack sign&quot;''' (at the Mountain Pass) - &quot;I was being facetious, Mr. Smarty-short-pants. No sign attacking for you.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===B===<br /> *'''&quot;boo&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Scared me.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;break/kick/punch door&quot;''' (at Outside mysterious cottage) - &quot;Violence is not the answer.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;break sign&quot;''' (at Mountain Pass) - ''See &quot;attack sign&quot;''<br /> *'''&quot;break stump, sit on stump, etc.&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Are you THAT bored? Do some questing already!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;buy kerrek a cold one&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;The kerrek&lt;!--sic--&gt; is a teetotaller and is offended by your offer. You've really cheesed him off now.&quot; '''Warning:''' This speeds the Kerrek up, so be careful. This command was first seen in the email [[for kids]].<br /> <br /> ===C===<br /> *'''&quot;[[The Cheat|cheat]]&quot;''' (or any phrase involving &quot;cheat&quot;; anywhere) - &quot;Meh.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;climb _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;cliff&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere near the bottom of the cliff) - &quot;There aren't enough footholds and you don't have any carabeaners on you.&quot;<br /> ***(at the top of the cliff) - &quot;They don't show how the sports-drink people get down from the cliff. You've no idea how to start.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;Nope. It's too sheer.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fence&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;No, you have business to attend to here in Peasantry.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;More like you should walk through that gaping hole in it. Just an idea.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Not going to dignify that with a response.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in bucket&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Your butt is too big.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;No go. Your insurance doesn't cover that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but at the wavy tree or hidden glen) - &quot;But then your hands would get all sappy.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Naw, you'd probably figure out some way to kill yourself doing that.&quot;<br /> ***(at the wavy tree) - &quot;You don't climb wavy trees.&quot;<br /> ***(after getting a room in the inn) - &quot;Naw. That's dumb. Do better.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;close _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Already done. That was easy!&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - &quot;You can't. That baby really wrenched it open good.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;'''<br /> ***(without stealing the robe) - &quot;Right, right. Wouldn't want to leave the robes out where any old guy trying to beat an adventure game could take them.&quot;<br /> ***(when it's closed) - &quot;A riddle: What can be closed that is already closed? (hint: not this drawer)&quot;<br /> ***(after getting the robe) - &quot;Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;cut off arms, legs, and head&quot;''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Very funny. You have trouble cutting out coupons in the weekly 'Peasant Penny-Pincher' circular. I'd like to see you try.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===D===<br /> *'''&quot;[[dan]]&quot;''' (or any phrase involving Dan; anywhere): &quot;Dan's still okay. Got a place on Dekalb with Rick and his wife. Slimmed up a bit and looking towards the future.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;dance&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You'd rather just stand here and soak up the scene.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;die&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;That wasn't very smart. You dead.&quot; '''Warning:''' This kills you.<br /> *'''&quot;drink&quot;''' (or any object after &quot;drink&quot;; anywhere) - &quot;For simplicity's sake you are immune to hunger and thirst in this game. So you got that going for you./Which is nice.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;drop baby&quot;'''<br /> **(once you have baby) - &quot;Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm.&quot; '''or''' &quot;Quit tryin to ditch the baby!&quot;<br /> **(before you have baby) - &quot;You don't even have two babies to rub together.&quot;<br /> **(at the well) - &quot;Like where?&quot;<br /> <br /> ===E===<br /> <br /> ===F===<br /> *'''&quot;feed horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen before scaring him) - &quot;There's a good chance that horse has NEVER eaten. I doubt he'll start now.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===G===<br /> *'''&quot;get a room&quot;''' (when on fire) - &quot;\oard&lt;!-- Yes, it's really a backslash, not a B. That's why &quot;[sic]&quot; is there. --&gt; [sic] of Peasant Health says I can't serve any folk that's on fire. Nothing personal. Well, I mean, I don't like you much anyway.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;get/take/steal _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;(anything not listed and not relevant to the plot)&quot;''' - &quot;You probably WISH you could get that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;arrow&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the archery range) - &quot;They have 'RANGE' printed on them, so it would be kind of embarrassing to have to shoot around with them. Also, that guy over there is giving you the evil eye.&quot;<br /> ***(at the secret glen while Dongolev is there) - &quot;Something tells me now's not a good time.&quot; (you get the arrow anyway and Dongolev shoots you) &quot;It wasn't a good time. Hey, my mom's making peasant-kabobs for dinner TOO! Right. Anyway. You dead. Thanks for playing, and try not to die.&quot; '''Warning:''' As you can see, this kills you.<br /> ***(at the secret glen after getting the first arrow OR at the secret glen after getting the second arrow after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;You're pretty much all set on the arrow front. They're kinda cool, though.&quot;<br /> ***(at the secret glen after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;You grab yet another arrow from the tree hoping to get some bonus points.&quot;<br /> ***(at Kerrek's body after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;Eww! No way. That thing's got some serious Kerrek-Brand kooties on it now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage, while she has the baby) - &quot;'You want to be a part of this family? GO GET US THOSE RICHES!!' she shrieks.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bell&quot;''' (in the inn, after getting a room) - &quot;You can't. It looks like it's been somehow olded&lt;!-- sic --&gt; to the desk.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (after getting it) - &quot;You totally got the belt already, as evidenced by the rancid cloud of odor that follows you like a shadow.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;berries&quot;'''<br /> ***(the same bush twice outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You already searched that bush. It was okay. Nothing to write home about... oh, wait... you don't have a home. My b.&quot;<br /> ***(after you've gotten the trinket, outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You've searched your fill of berry bushes for this game. If you want to search more press 'reload' on the browser&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake) - &quot;NO MAN! JEEZ!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bone/skull&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff) - &quot;Eww. No. Grody. You're grody. No. Eww.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;broom&quot;''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;No, no. The broom is in the foreground and you can't take things from the foreground. You don't see me all typing 'get browser window', do you?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bucket&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;You can't, it's tied to a rope and you're terrible with knots.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;candle&quot;''' (at night, in the inn) - &quot;It seems like you should be able to do that, doesn't it? Sorry. No dice.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;chair&quot;''' <br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is there) - &quot;No. There's a big bag of something in it. Oh, that's the baby lady.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is gone) - &quot;No. Too big for pants.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;club&quot;''' (outside the Jhonka's cottage when he's out) - &quot;Now there's a surefire way to get yourself killed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;You get a hernia from lifting it. -2 Movement points, -10 Constitution. Don't do that again.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage after stealing feed) - &quot;You don't need anymore. It might give rise to old temptations.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fire&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, before getting the horse grease) - &quot;You're just not flammable enough.&quot;<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting the horse grease) - &quot;You don't need to get IT. Just let IT get YOU.&quot;<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting on fire) - &quot;You're already on fire! What? You want to be MORE on fire?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;You nasty. Besides, they wouldn't survive a minute away from that horse's butt.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;gold/money&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Um, that's chicken feed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;grease&quot;''' (inside the inn, at night, when you already got the grease) - &quot;You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;hay&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;Who do you think you are? Some kind of Thy Dungeonman? You don't need any hay.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;There's a huge bale a couple of screens over from here. Why bother stealing?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain whether or not he's still alive) - &quot;Well, he does smell real bad. But he's a bit too big to fit in your pocket.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lantern&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;Better not. There's an engraved plaque on it that says, &quot;Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of 'You Die'.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;mud&quot;'''<br /> ***(when it's wet, before you fall in) - &quot;You can't get the mud so much. More like the mud'll get you.&quot;<br /> ***(when it's wet, after you fall in) - &quot;You've already gotten an heapin' helpin' all up on yo'self.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;map&quot;''' (at your cottage, after you've gotten it) - &quot;Yeah but like you already map the took, guy!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;note&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Jhonka's cave) - &quot;It's been magically sealed to the door with a wondrously whimsical spell.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;What is it with you and notes?! No!!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;old man rub&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;You disgust me.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;paper&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Naw, it might be important to that wrinkly old loon.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;painting&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Weird. It's actually painted right into the wall. Like, the frame and everything.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles&quot;'''<br /> ***(after you've gotten them) - &quot;Come now. We've been through this jaunty little bit before. You took them from the half lake screen with the cattail and stuff.&quot;<br /> ***(from the opposite side of where you get the pebbles) &quot;You do your best Mr. Fantastic impression, but you can't reach them from here.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;plague&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;Wrong game, Mispeller Jones. Try the little button to the left of the 'W'.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;plaque&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;You have enough of that on your browning, rotten peasant teeth already.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pillow&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;Not a chance. There's even more questionable stains on that pillow than there are on that rug.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You don't have anywhere to use it and it is rather bulky, so you leave it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pot&quot;''' (in the inn, after you already have horse grease) - &quot;You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;robe&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, after you've gotten it) - &quot;You still remember the time when you took them. Oh, the times have changed ... but the robes?&quot;<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, when the drawer is closed) - &quot;You reach into the closed drawer and nearly break your hand slamming it. Just like a bird on a pane of glass minus the blamelessness.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rock&quot;'''<br /> ***(by the stream) - &quot;For what? Now you're just making up puzzles to solve.&quot;<br /> ***(at the mud puddle) - &quot;That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me.&quot;<br /> ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage, after moving it) - &quot;You've already moved the stone out of the way to reveal a less-than peasant-sized hole.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rug&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;You're not touching that thing. Too many questionable stains on it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;stuff/food&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Which foodstuffs?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;target&quot;''' (at the archery range) - &quot;No. Those will fall on you and more than likely kill you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;give _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;(anything not listed)&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;We don't need that mess.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere except for the woman's cottage) - &quot;You don't need to give that now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn, before you get the baby) - &quot;You have no baby nor any immediate prospects.&quot;<br /> ***(in the inn, when you already have the pills) - &quot;You already milked that fogey for all the pills he's worth.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;riches&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, before getting the riches) - &quot;'That's right,' she whines. 'Find my riches, and give here.'&quot;<br /> ***(outside Jhonka's cave, before jumping in hay) - &quot;The Jhonka will see you! And rip out your jugular with his teeth or something equally horrible.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, after giving the riches) - &quot;We did that already, and it was sort of humiliating.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trinket&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot; 'Did you find that thing in my yard?' she asks. 'I got that thing free in a box of Plaguezees. I need some FOR REAL riches!' &quot;<br /> ***(inside woman's cottage after giving trinket to Mendelev) - &quot;'Why are you holding your hand out?' she asks. 'I told you I need riches, so I can't give em away.' You don't have a trinket to give, you realize.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;go _____&quot;''' (anything or letter can be put in here) - &quot;Use the arrow keys, pal. Just like a joypad only more like your day job.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===H===<br /> *'''&quot;haldo&quot;'''<br /> **(anywhere but in the secret glade, before or after talking to Mendelev) - &quot;That's totally not Dongolev.&quot;<br /> **(in the secret glade before talking to Mendelev) - &quot;What'd you read that in PQ Stragedy [sic] Guide? Go talk to my brother first.&quot;<br /> **(in the secret glade after Dongolev leaves) - &quot;Haldo?.' you call out... 'Hadloooooo' [sic] &quot;<br /> **(at the archery Range after Dongolev has returned) - &quot;HALDO!!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;hide in hay&quot;''' (at the hay bale, before getting in) - &quot;Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;hug tree&quot;''' (at the hay bale) - &quot;To every thing, turn, turn, turn. There is a season, turn, turn, turn.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===I===<br /> <br /> ===J===<br /> *'''&quot;jump in hay&quot;''' (by the hay bale, when you're not muddy) - &quot;Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;jump in hay&quot;''' (near the hay bale, when you're muddy but not right next to it) - &quot;Who do you think you are, MJ? Try from a little closer.&quot;<br /> ===K===<br /> *'''&quot;kick/kill/punch poor gary&quot;'''<br /> **(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;You attempt to cause Poor Gary harm for no good reason other than you kinda suck at this game. {Poor Gary kicks you} WOW! For a decrepit old horse, Poor Gary still packs a mean whallop. You dead. Thanks for playing.&quot; '''Warning:''' Needless to say, this kills you.<br /> **(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;kill _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Those flies and that horse's butt have a symbiotic relationship. You have no right to disrupt that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (after he's outside) - &quot;No way! Jhonka's are born scrappers. He may be little, but he'll crawl ya.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is present and you do not have the bow and arrow) - &quot;With what?! You got no weapons except your butter-knife wit.&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the arrow, but not the bow) - &quot;With what?! You gonna throw that arrow at him?&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the bow, but not the arrow) - &quot;With what?! You got no arrow, fool!&quot;<br /> ***(after the Kerrek is dead) - &quot;Yeah. You smote the Kerrek. You deserve a trophy full of Mutton-ums.&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is not there) - &quot;Good idea. But you kinda need the actual Kerrek to be here for that to work.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;''' (while Trogdor's asleep, in his lair) - &quot;Like how?&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;knock&quot;'''<br /> **(at the woman's cottage) - &quot; 'It's open,' says a female voice from inside. Um, it's NOT open, but you get her drift.&quot;<br /> **(at the woman's cottage, after she leaves) - No one answers. That crazy lady took off. How ever will you get past this closed door now?<br /> **(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - &quot;A gravelly voice inside yells, 'JUST US CHICKENS' '''or:''' 'NO FOR RENT' '''or:''' 'I GIVE LAST YEAR!' '''or:''' 'GAVE AT OFFICE' '''or:''' 'GO WAY!'&quot;<br /> **(at the inn, while it's closed) - &quot;No answer.&quot;<br /> **(at the inn, after it's been opened) - &quot;Just open it, man!&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;You could knock until your knuckles bleed. Nobody's home.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;Knock until knuckles bleed&quot;'''<br /> **(at Naked Ned's cottage)-&quot;You knock for about 4 hours until your knuckles are raw and bloody. That was fun!&quot;<br /> **(type it again at Naked Ned's cottage)-&quot;You done that already. A great time was had by all.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===L===<br /> *'''&quot;light lantern&quot;'''<br /> **(at the burninated trees before it is lit) - &quot;With what? Your red-hot intellect?&quot;<br /> **(at the burninated trees after it is lit) - &quot;Already lit, moron.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;load&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;look _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''(at anything, while hiding inside the bale of hay)''' - &quot;Right now, you see a bunch of hay.&quot;<br /> **'''(at something previously in your inventory but now gone)''' - &quot;You used to have one, before the great item blight of 402. Check your INVENTORY to read about it.&quot; <br /> **'''(at something currently in your inventory)''' - &quot;You've totally got one of those! Check your INVENTORY to give'r a serious looksee.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;arrow&quot;''' (at the hidden glen) - &quot;Somebody call a tree doctor. Them puppies are stuck in there like a, um, er ... stuck pig.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage while she has the baby) - &quot;Peasant babies are pretty freaking adorable. This little guy's no exception.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bed&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Is that just a fitted sheet over a slab of concrete?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bell&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Tis broked.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;Yecch. I wouldn't touch that unless it was, like, an important quest item or something.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;berries&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake) &quot;Shut up.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Crunch berries maybe.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;boat/dinghy&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot;Keep your eyes off my dinghy!&quot; <br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake after he is gone) - &quot;It was loaned out to the [[Fishing Challenge '91|Fishing Challenge videogame]].&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bone/skeleton/skull&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff for the bone and skull and in Trogdor's outer sanctum for the skeleton) - &quot;You can't be sure but you think those are dead person bones.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bush&quot;''' (at the west side of the lake) - &quot;Don't worry about that bush. Yeah, there's red berries on it but never you mind.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bushes&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You suspect they might be crunch berry bushes.&quot;<br /> ***(in the hidden glen) - &quot;There's some thick 'ol bushes up in this hidden glen.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;candle&quot;''' (in the inn after getting a room) - &quot;That candle's not at all on fire.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;cave&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the Jhonka's cave) - &quot;Just a little cave. Calm down.&quot;<br /> ***(at the top of the cliff) - &quot;The cave entrance beckons to you like a hot mutton sandwich might.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;chair&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;One of those self-rocking kind. Not bad for a brown-collar peasant-type. Must be trickle-down in action.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;club/turkey leg&quot;''' (at the Jhonka's cave when he's outside) - &quot;Turkey leg or no, it looks like the Jhonka's been gnawing on it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;cottage&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the yellow tree) - &quot;You see a cottage in the distance. You hold your fingers up to one eye and pretend to squash it.&quot;<br /> ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;A run-of-the-mill, non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You had a cottage once. A lot like this one. *sniff* Trogdor will pay!&quot;<br /> ***(at your burninated cottage) - &quot;All your baubles and trinkets, your flasks and scrolls, your goblets and staffs! BURNINATED!!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;crank&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the well before putting pebbles in the bucket) - &quot;It looks rusted in place.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well after putting pebbles in the bucket) - &quot;That is a bonafide crank. It seems to work now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;curtain/beads&quot;''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;That thing's awesome. You always wanted one for your dorm room but your roommate was a total drag and said no.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;desk&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the archery range) - &quot;It says 'archery' on it. My wife's drunk.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn) - &quot;There's a broken bell and a piece of parchment on there.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;Just a door. A door with a note on it.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;A wicked beaded curtain hangs in the doorway.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Listen to you, &quot;look door&quot; What kinda gaming is that? It's a door and it's closed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Cool Ranch. Your old favorite.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fence&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;A particularly rickety peasant-issue fence. Trogdor uses bits of these as toothpicks.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;It's got a big ol' hole in it. For walking through.&quot;<br /> ***(by haystack/Jhonka's cottage/Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;A standard peasant fence. Trogdor makes milk's meat outta these things.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Wow! There's a hole in it on THIS side too!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;A cloud of buttflies fly around the horse's butt.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;footprints/tracks&quot;''' (when the Kerrek is present) - &quot;It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;footprints/tracks&quot;''' (when the Kerrek is not present) - &quot;If you weren't a simpleton you might think these were Kerrek prints. But since you are a simpleton, you just go, 'Yay! Piggies!' &quot;<br /> **'''&quot;ground&quot;''' - &quot;Hey, it's your old fireproof map of Peasantry.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;hay&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;It reminds you of a warm, safe place where as a child you'd hide.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Hay is for horses!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;hole&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, before deploying baby) - &quot;You peer into the tiny opening. The cottage appears to be empty.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after deploying baby) - &quot;There is no baby here, but there's an open door on the other side of the room. If you could only get to it somehow!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;This bag o' bones looks like he's headed for the glue factory. He's got the name 'Poor Gary' branded onto his hide.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in hay&quot;''' (at the hay bale) - &quot;You search and search through the haystack. Nope. No needles.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;It's dark and welly in there. Smell like stank too.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;inn&quot;''' (outside the inn) - &quot;Looks okay from out here. But do they have a free breakfast buffet?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (at the Jhonka's cottage when he's outside) - &quot;The Jhonka is gray and grody. He's got a cromagnon forehead and jaw with a pair of wicked incisors. He sports an old loin-cheese cloth and carries either a big club or one of those roasted turkey legs you got at the Ren Fest.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - &quot;It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!&quot;<br /> ***(while he's decomposing) - &quot;He dead. You didn't think he could have smelled any worse? Well, guess what: He smells worse.&quot;<br /> ***(when he's all bones) - &quot;He dead. He wasn't fat, he was just big boned! Poor pig-man.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;knight/man/dude/guy&quot;''' (at the mountain pass) - &quot;He looks way cooler than you.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lady/woman&quot;''' <br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she's still there) - &quot;Typical pasty peasant woman, overbearing and judgemental&lt;!-- sic --&gt;. Obsessed with goods and land.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, after she's gone) - &quot;I can't believe you thought you had a chance with her!/Dork!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lake&quot;''' (at the fisherman's lake) - &quot;Why it's half a lake.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;lake/water&quot;''' (at the lake with pebbles) - &quot;It extends onto the next screen and has a sandy shore.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;lantern&quot;'''<br /> ***(while unlit; at the burninated trees) - &quot;It's unlit at the moment. That fancy pants royal knight probably lights it on nights when Troggie's on the prowl.&quot;<br /> ***(while lit; at the burninated trees) - &quot;It's lit! Musta been a Trogdor sighting tonight.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lightning&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff) - &quot;Scary. Like Auntie Gerelda's crow's feet.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;man&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;He's an older peasant with big cotton swabs stuffed up his nose. Oh wait. Those are nose hairs. Grody.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;man/guy/peasant/old guy/old man&quot;''' (at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot;An older peasant sits silently in a boat with his line in the water.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;ned&quot;''' (at the wavy tree, when Naked Ned is peeking out) - &quot;A fairly naked man is peeking out behind that tree.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;openings&quot;''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;They're mysterious and out of reach. Like girls were to you in high school.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;painting&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;It's a painting of dogs playing 'Magic: The Nerdening.'&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;paper&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;It says, 'Note to self: Wave arms wildly!'&quot;<br /> ***(at your burninated cottage) - &quot;Hey, it's your old fireproof map to Peasantry.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pillow&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;If you sleep in that bed, you're NOT putting your head on that nasty pillow.&quot;<br /> ***(in the woman's cottage) - &quot;Swedish foam. Your favorite.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pot&quot;''' (in the inn after getting a room) - &quot;It's full of horse grease. I guess that sounds useful.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rock&quot;'''<br /> ***(by the stream) - &quot;The ages have worn this rock down. It is a rock of ages. Still a-rollin.&quot;<br /> ***(at the mud patch) - &quot;That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage before removing it) - &quot;There appears to be a loose stone towards the back of the cottage.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage after removing it) - &quot;Some jerk removed a loose stone from the back of the cottage.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rug&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Maybe that used to be a magic carpet. But it's sure a cat pee-stained carpet now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;sand&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake) - &quot;One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty two... One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty three... Drat! You lost count again.&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the pebbles) - &quot;Remember those pebbles on the beach? Man, those were good times.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;shelf&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Nothing but a bag of chicken feed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;sign&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the mountain pass) - &quot;What that sign there? That sign says 'Trogdor.'&quot;<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;If you can't read that sign, you need to quit playing this game.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;stump&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated trees) - &quot;NOT a good place to sit.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;You run out of ideas as to what to do next, and stare at the stump.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;target&quot;''' (at the archery range) - &quot;Hey, they had those same targets at Peasant Scout Camp!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated trees) - &quot;Severely burninated. They could probably use some salve.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown!&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Dude, and then the elf, like, totally climbed up it. It was awesome!&quot;<br /> ***(at the wavy tree) - &quot;It's weird and wavy.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well) - &quot;That's one orange tree alright.&quot;<br /> ***(at the yellow tree) - &quot;You're really hurtin' for puzzle solutions, huh?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trees&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You are an incredibly boring person.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Trogdor's lair, while he's asleep) - &quot;Holy crap! Trogdor's way bigger in person than he looks in most tapestries you've seen. All of the sudden, losing your cottage doesn't seem so bad anymore.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's lair, when he's awake) - &quot;Trogdor is looming menacingly over you with a tiny wee sword stuck in his belly. He looks like he's gonna kill you really soon.&quot;<br /> ***(at mountain pass) - I know it's labeled 'Trogdor,' but it's really just a sign, silly. I mean, attack it if you want...<br /> **'''&quot;water&quot;''' (by the stream) - Got a rock in it.<br /> **'''&quot;waterfall&quot;''' (at the waterfall) - &quot;Upon closer inspection, you discover it's not magical. That's just mist, not magic sparkles or anything.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Pretty average. You're not a big well person. You're more into bridges. It does have a cute little bucket though. Your dad liked buckets. Oh, and there's a metal crank too. Meemaw loved cranks.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;window&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;Check it out! There's an INN in there.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn) - &quot;Check it out! There's a Peasantry out there!&quot;<br /> <br /> ===M===<br /> *'''&quot;make friends with kerrek&quot;''' - &quot;Look, it didn't work for Strongbad [sic] and it's not gonna work for you either.&quot; (As seen in [[for kids]])<br /> *'''&quot;make wish&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;This isn't that kind of well. This is a plaguewater well.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;map&quot;''' (before you find the map; anywhere) - &quot;We are neither confirming nor denying the presence of a map in this game, but irridisregardless, you don't have one.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===N===<br /> <br /> ===O===<br /> *'''&quot;open _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - &quot;It's locked. With one o' them SCHLAGE deadbolts, too. Those things are hard core.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;How? There's no knob.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - &quot;It's already open. Since this is an adventure game we're gonna proffer you adventure yourself on in there.&quot;<br /> ***(at the inn, while it's closed) - &quot;It's locked fast!&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn, before getting a room) - &quot;'That's the pantry,' says the Innkeeper. 'Employees only.'&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage when it's open) - &quot;Yeah, totally! Except it's already open you moron.&quot;<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage after getting the robe and closing the drawer) - &quot;You already closed it, which was nice, and so we gave you some points. Let sleeping drawers lie.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===P===<br /> *'''&quot;party&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You are part of the Whig party. They are making gangrene-awareness their number one campaign priority.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;pet horse/poor gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Aww, that's sweet. Poor Gary tries in vain to bite your arm off.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;play game&quot;''' (at the archery range, before saying &quot;haldo&quot; to Dongolev) - &quot;The gallery's not open and you got no bow or arrows, Cupid.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;pull/push door&quot;''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;It doesn't budge, man.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;put _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Where you wanna toss em?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby in well/bucket&quot;''' (at the well, before getting the baby) - &quot;Hmmmm... A baby, eh? You check your sundial. Babies-R-Us is probably closed by now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby in well&quot;'''<br /> ***(after getting the sub) - &quot;Li'l tyke seems to enjoy the ride, but - thin or not - we've got a plot to advance here.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well with the baby) - &quot;Jeez man! At least put the poor little guy in the bucket! Give him a fighting chance!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles&quot;''' - &quot;Where you wanna toss em?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles in bucket&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the well, when you don't have them) - &quot;Find some pebbles first and you might have the makings of a good idea. About time.&quot;<br /> ***(after getting the maskus) - &quot;We've already been through this exercise and it went pretty well, ya?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles in well&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the well, when you have them) - &quot;Then it'd be tough to get them back. You never go ANYWHERE without your rocks&quot;<br /> ***(at the well, when you don't have them) - &quot;Riiight, right. Which ones?&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;[[pwd]]&quot;''' - Prints on-screen your location as a (fake) directory.<br /> <br /> ===Q===<br /> *'''&quot;quit&quot;''' - &quot;Well fine Boring Sanders! Hope you saved your game cause it is OVER between us!&quot; '''Warning:''' The game still quits.<br /> <br /> ===R===<br /> *'''&quot;ride horse/poor gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Naw, snapping horse spines just doesn't seem as cool as it did in high school.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;ring bell&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Instead of ringing or dinging, it just goes DUNG.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===S===<br /> *'''&quot;save&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;scare horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before getting the mask) - &quot;You tell Gary the &quot;THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!&quot; one but he doesn't act very scared. He's probably heard it before.&quot; '''or:''' &quot;You tell Gary about how much cholesterol is in hay and how his arteries are probably all black and clogged. He shrugs it off.&quot; '''or:''' &quot;You tell Gary the story about the kid who pops this big zit he has and all these baby spiders come out. It doesn't phase him.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;sit on stump&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Are you THAT bored?! Do some questing already!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;skip stones&quot;''' (at the west side of the lake) - &quot;You've always been terrible at skipping stones. And you're even worse at just plain throwing rocks in lakes. You decide to save yourself the embarrassment.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;sleep&quot;'''<br /> **(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;That's probably how the first baby got here. Forget it.&quot;<br /> **(in the inn while the man is there) - &quot;You probably want to talk to that stinky old guy over there about that.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;smell/sniff&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Smells like a computer game.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;swim&quot;'''<br /> **(at the rock in the river) - &quot;Peasants can't swim. Like, it's illegal.&quot;<br /> **(at the waterfall) - &quot;That waterfall would probably churn you into one of those weight-gain protein smoothies.&quot;<br /> **(at the west side of the lake) - &quot;Not in this game, Swimmer [[Dan]]! In this game, you drown.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===T===<br /> *'''&quot;talk&quot;'''<br /> **(at the archery range, while away from or behind the desk) - &quot;Why don't you saddle up to the front of the table there, cowboy?&quot;<br /> **(at the archery range, after beating the minigame) - &quot;Go away!&quot; says Dongolev. &quot;We're arguing about who's hotter,&quot; adds Mendelev.<br /> **(at wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- &quot;You startled him and he disappears!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;talk ____&quot;'''<br /> **'''(someone not in the screen, inanimate, or nonexistent; anywhere)''' - &quot;It's sad when you have to make up people to talk to.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage, before you get the baby) - &quot;You say some cute, stupid stuff and the baby just blows snot bubbles.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen when he's there) - &quot;Your attempts at conversation are met with horse grunts and tail flaps. Which is better than you do at conversation with most people.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (while inside the hay) - &quot;Not now! You'll blow your cover!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - &quot;Me llamo Julio,' you begin... It seems only to further anger the already temperamental Kerrek. That stupid 'Learn Kerrek in 3 Weeks' cassette did nothing for you!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lady&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage after she's gone) - &quot;You'd call out her name and let it ring through the empty room, enveloping you in sorrow, but you don't actually know her name.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;Naked Ned&quot;''' (at the wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- &quot;'Never speak of this meeting!' says the nudie and he disapperars.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;''' (at the wavy tree) - &quot;Trees can't talk but a breeze picks up and you swear the leaves whisper the words 'Naked Ned.' Weird.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;''' (in Trogdor's lair while he's asleep) - &quot;You yell some choice expletives at Trogdor but he doesn't wake up. There's a cool echo, though.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;well&quot;''' (At the well) &quot;You yell into the well and enjoy the echo. Keep in mind there are no stereos yet.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;this sucks&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;throw _____&quot;'''<br /> **(anything but the feed; at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot; 'That isn't gonna work for bait!' the old man screams, at a needlessly harsh volume.&quot;<br /> **(anything; when the fisherman is gone) - &quot;You already fed the fish. Let's get moving, here, people!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but the west side of the lake) - &quot;Hmmm. Maybe try someplace else.<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake before getting the baby) - &quot;I think you misread the walkthrough on GameFAQs. You gotta get the baby first.&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the soda) - &quot;Baby Dashing is a little waterlogged from the toss, and you read his soft gurgling to mean that there's no more soda left.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere without the baby) - &quot;You don't even have two babies to rub together.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the east side of the lake before getting the feed) - &quot;You have nothing with which to do that...with.&quot;<br /> ***(at the east side of the lake after throwing the feed) - &quot;You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!&quot; (The repetition is probably just a goof.)<br /> *'''&quot;try&quot;''' - (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Okay, fine. You try to cut off your hard-earned extremities. It doesn't work. You dead. Thanks for nothing.&quot; '''Warning:''' You die.<br /> *'''&quot;turn crank&quot;'''<br /> **(at the well, on the other side of the screen) - &quot;You got a short reach to match your short pants. Try standing closer to that crank.&quot;<br /> **(at well, after you get the maskus) - {first time} &quot;Down she goes! You could do this all day!&quot; {second time} &quot;The drama grips you, but the bucket is empty. On the bright side, you're getting a pretty sweet workout for your Deltoidus Rex muscles.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===U===<br /> *'''&quot;use/deploy baby&quot;'''<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, before getting the baby) - &quot;Swell idea, but is you ain't my baby? I.e. you ain't got one?&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, before moving the stone) - &quot;Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm.&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, after the baby has left) - &quot;Li'l P.B. has moved on, and the door seems to be open... I can't see why we'd go through this all over again.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;use pebbles&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;What do you propose to do with them? Discuss.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===V===<br /> <br /> ===W===<br /> *'''&quot;wake up trogdor&quot;''' - &quot;Troggie...&quot;, you murmur. &quot;Troggie, wake up it's time for Burnination school.&quot; He's not budging.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;wear _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (after getting the belt) - &quot;You're already wearing it. Too bad you smell like the trash barge off Peasant Isle.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;mask&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Not on this screen. You've got your image to think about. Actually, you might want to start deliberating on that right now.&quot;<br /> ***(in Poor Gary's glen after scaring him) - &quot;Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;robe&quot;'''<br /> ***(if the robe is not in your inventory) - &quot;You don't have anything but your 'Scalding Lake' t-shirt. And pants. Forgot to mention the pants.&quot;<br /> ***(if you are already wearing the robe) - &quot;You're already in the old skool robe. Represent.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;what the f&amp;mdash;&quot;''' ''([[Swears|uncensored version]])''&lt;!--actually &quot;what the fuck&quot;--&gt; (anywhere) - &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;where&quot;''' (anywhere) - Tells you where you are.<br /> *'''&quot;why&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;I wish I knew.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===X===<br /> <br /> ===Y===<br /> *&quot;'''Yes'''&quot; (to the Jhonka when he asks you about his riches)- &quot;'I KILL YOU!!' screams the Jhonka. ''{The Jhonka clubs you to death}'' Club or turkey leg, the jhonka sure just beat you senseless with whatever he was holding. You dead. Thanks for playing!&quot; '''Warning:''' Obviously, you will die.<br /> <br /> ===Z===<br /> <br /> ===Action Based===<br /> '''Warning:''' All of the below will kill you.<br /> <br /> *'''(Walk too close to the Kerrek)''' - ''{The Kerrek pounds your head into the ground}'' Your mom always told you not to take head poundings from strange Kerreks. And NOW looks what's happened. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Walk in the path of Dongelev's arrows)''' - ''{Dongolev shoots you in the head}'' That guy has no sense. He shot you. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Nice one, William Tell. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Leave the screen after putting the baby in the bucket)''' - Nice try. Ditch the baby at the bottom of the well, eh? Thought you'd be able to just walk away and it's nothing by mead and wenches from now on, huh? Well guess what? You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Hit by rock or pterodactyl when climbing the cliff)''' - ''{You fall to the ground and lie in a heap}'' Oops! You climbed real bad. You knew that you were AVOIDING the rocks, right? Not collecting them. Anyways, nice try. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Walk too close to Trogdor while he's asleep)''' - ''{Trogdor burninates you without waking up}'' Yow. Looks like you got a little too close. You dead. Maybe next time don't get too close.<br /> <br /> {{Peasant's Quest}}<br /> [[Category:Peasant's Quest]] [[Category:Lists]]</div> Tue, 19 Jun 2007 07:09:23 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Talk:Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses <p>GWR 2004:&#32;/* A */ fix response</p> <hr /> <div>[[Image:PQ_look_footprints.png|thumb|300px|&gt; LOOK FOOTPRINTS]]<br /> The [[Peasant's Quest]] game relies on text commands to complete objectives in the game. While there are programmed responses to all of the necessary actions in the game's storyline, the game contains many responses to unproductive commands as well.<br /> <br /> {| border=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;toc&quot;<br /> ! align=&quot;center&quot; | {{int:toc}}<br /> |-<br /> | align=&quot;left&quot; |<br /> *[[#Walkthrough Messages|1 Walkthrough Messages]]<br /> *[[#The Three Keepers' Messages|2 The Three Keepers' Messages]]<br /> **[[#The First Keeper|2.1 The First Keeper]]<br /> **[[#The Second Keeper|2.2 The Second Keeper]]<br /> **[[#The Third Keeper|2.3 The Third Keeper]]<br /> *[[#Area Descriptions|3 Area Descriptions]]<br /> *[[#Other Productive Responses|4 Other Productive Responses]]<br /> **[[#Constructive Conversations|4.1 Constructive Conversations]]<br /> **[[#Useful Documents|4.2 Useful Documents]]<br /> **[[#Helpful Hints|4.3 Helpful Hints]]<br /> *[[#Unproductive Responses|5 Unproductive Responses]]<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==Walkthrough Messages==<br /> {{spoiler}}<br /> The following are the messages displayed while completing the minimal number of tasks to achieve a perfect score. Note that different messages may be displayed for a game completed differently (e.g. if the Three Keepers' questions are answered), and that there are [[#Unproductive Responses|many other messages]] that may be displayed in response to inputs that are not constructive and/or not essential to completion of the game.<br /> <br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Points !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || YOU are Rather Dashing, a humble peasant living in the peasant kingdom of Peasantry.&lt;br&gt;You return home from a vacation on Scalding Lake only to find that TROGDOR THE BURNINATOR has burninated your thatched roof cottage along with all your goods and services.&lt;br&gt;With nothing left to lose, you swear to get revenge on the Wingaling Dragon in the name of burninated peasants everywhere. || 3B<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || You head east towards the mountain atop which TROGDOR lives. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || That's a nice looking lake. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || You can start playing in a second here. || 2D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || Okay, go for it. || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || get pebbles || You grab up a handful of fairly substantial pebbles. You make sure to get an even mix of sedentary, igneous, and, um, sureptitious rocks. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || put rocks in bucket || You plunk all your pebbles into the bucket. The weight causes it to descend to the bottom of the well with a quickness! || 1D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || turn crank || &quot;The crank seems to have loosened and you haul the bucket back up. What's this? Why there's a monster maskus in there! No doubt leftover from some pagan ritual. Silly pagans.&lt;br&gt;You grab up the scary moster maskus. Man, this thing could scare a horse! || 1D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || talk man || &quot;Oh, hi. I'm Mendelev,&quot; says the archer. &quot;I used to run a shooting range here with my brother Dongolev. But we don't talk so much anymore. I haven't seen him in a Jhonka's age. If you ever run into him, telll him I said 'haldo'.&lt;br&gt;&quot;You mean 'hello,'&quot; you ask?&lt;br&gt;&quot;Oh, um. No. Shut up. I said 'haldo' and I meant 'haldo.' Tell him I said 'haldo.'&quot;<br /> || 2D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || wear mask || You slip on the hideous monster maskus.&lt;br&gt;You scared the crap outta Poor Gary! He broke on through to the other side! || 1A<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || haldo || the archer stops arching and turns to you. &quot;My brother told you to tell me haldo? He must want to start the old business back up!&quot; || Hidden glen<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || get arrow || You pick out a really good one and yank it from the tree. Hooray! Now you have an arrow! || Hidden glen<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || get chicken feed || You used to eat this stuff like crazy when you were a kid and your parents weren't watching (which was all too often). You grab several large handfuls. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || the baby lady calls after you, &quot;Hey, you're on some quest right? Well, the little squirt here lost something of mine in the yard the other day. It's yours if you can find it.&quot; || Baby lady cottage<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (first bush) || You reach into the bush to snag some berries but they all just squish in your hand. || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (second bush) || Man, nothing in this bush but squished berries either. || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (third bush) || Too bad you don't want any squished berries, cuz hey: jackpot! || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 2 || get berries (fourth bush) || You reach into the bush to snag you some berries but instead find a Super Trinket! These things are awesome! You have a sneaking suspicion that SOMEONE in this game will need this thing. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || throw chicken feed || You toss the feed into the lake. You shed a tear for each one. &quot;Goodbye, Monty&quot; you sniff. &quot;Bye Delga, Rasputin. Farewell, Combledon!&quot; and so forth.&lt;br&gt;Woah! That crotchety old man just caught a pantload of fish! &quot;Now I can get back to running the inn,&quot; he says and rows to shore and hauls his boat out and cleans, guts, and filets all the fish and a buncha other stuff we didn't animate. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || give super trinket || &quot;That'll work,&quot; says Mendelev. Just hit 3 bullseyes and you win the SuperTime FunBow TM!&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;The ARROW KEYS aim left and right and the SPACE BAR operates the bow. You'll need to press it a couple of times to get a nice shot off but we don't give lessons so you're on your own.&quot; || 2C<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (get [X]=3-5 bullseyes) || &quot;Nice shootin! [X] hits.&quot; Says Mendelev. &quot;Here's your prize!&quot; You got the SuperTime FunBow TM! We don't sell ammo, so you'll have to find your own arrows for it. || 2C<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || shoot Kerrek with bow || Here goes nothin', Kid Icarus&lt;br&gt;ARROWED!! Nice shot. You smote the Kerrek! He lay there stinking.&lt;br&gt;A light rain heralds the washing free of the Kerrek's grip on the land. You're feeling pretty good, though, so the artless symbolism doesn't bug you. || 1B or 4C<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || get belt || You strap the Kerrek's belt buckle around your waist. Oh boy. You sure stink now. || 1B or 4C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || (walk into mud puddle) || Now you've done it! You're covered in sticky, albeit fine smelling, mud. Your &quot;Scalding Lake&quot; T-shirt is all soiled, too. You just washed it last harvest! || 2B<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || jump into hay || You've not known much better than a roll in the hay alone.&lt;br&gt;You leap in the hay like a two years old boy. Uh oh. The hay sticks to your muddy body. You're a walking hay bale! Just like that one guy from that one show! || 2A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (walk to Jhonka's cave) || Hey, nice disguise! The Jhonka doesn't seem to notice you. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 7 || steal riches || Oh OH! A stiff breeze blew all the hay and, surprisingly, the mud off of you! &quot;You take my riches?!&quot; growls the Jhonka. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || No || &quot;Okay. Lemme know if you see riches anywhere,&quot; he grunts and goes back to his hopping. You smooth talker, you. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give riches || &quot;My riches!!&quot; she screams and snatches up every last gold coin. &quot;Thanks, sucker! Here you go!&quot; she shoves the baby into your hands and bolts out the door.&lt;br&gt;You later learn that she does this all the time and is wanted throughout the countryside. Those riches probably WERE the Jhonka's and who knows whose baby that is. Well, it's yours now. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || This place is dead anyway. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || throw baby || Something tells you this is a good idea and you lob the little one into the lake.&lt;br&gt;You won't be arrested after all! The little guy has resurfaced safely, carrying an old bottle of soda. You take the soda and stow your swaddling buddy for takeoff. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || put baby in bucket || Okay, Father of the Year. You put a baby in a bucket and it quickly descends deep into the well. Yours is a black, black heart. || 1C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || turn crank || You haul the bucket back up. Lucky for you, the baby is still in it and appears to be unscathed. As a bonus, it looks like he found a Meatball sub down there. Score! You take the sub.&lt;br&gt;Oh, and the baby. You take the baby. || 1C<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give baby || &quot;Well lookit that little guy!&quot; says the Innkeeper. &quot;You want a treat, do ya? What do babies like?&quot; He fishes around in his pockets.&lt;br&gt;&quot;Um, how bout my medication!&quot; You grab the bottle of pills before he can force them on the baby. &quot;Hey, those were for him!&quot; || inn<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || move rock || You slide the stone over to reveal a little hole. If only you could cut off your arms, legs, and head you might be able to squeeze through! || 4A<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || put baby into the hole || Deploying Q-Baby...&lt;br&gt;Way to go, baby! It got the cottage door opened and headed off to a new life. He becomes Valedictorian of his graduating class, goes to Scalding Lake State, gets a degree in Advanced Peasantry and lands a job at Thatch-Pro: building better cottages for a better tomorrow.&lt;br&gt;You grow apart and the letters from him become fewer and fewer. He develops a severe mead problem and blames you for never being there. || 4A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open drawer || There's a vintage peasant robe in there! Just like grampa used to wear. || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || get robe || Yeah! Get that robe! || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || close drawer || Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint. || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || wear robe || You slip into the vintage robe. It smells like grampa's lap. Now you're lookin like a serious peasant. || anywhere<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || get room || &quot;Okay, youngster,&quot; says the decrepit old person. &quot;Just bed on down for the night and I'm sure I'll remember to collect the fee come morning.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Night falls like a bad power point presentation.&lt;br&gt;What an uncomfortable bed! You sleep for maybe 20 minutes before the extreme pain in your spine forces you to get up.|| Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || get pot || You reach way up to the top shelf.&lt;br&gt;Oh great! Now you can't see a thing and your head is covered in highly flammable horse grease. You better get out of here before that disgusting old man comes back. || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (exiting inn with pot on head) || Phew! You discard the big black pot and wipe the horse grease from your eyes. The hood of your robe is still covered in highly flammable horse grease, though. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || (walking under candle in burninated trees) || Whoa! The horse grease on your robe caught fire! You're a for-real peasant now. || 4E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (exiting 4E) || Man, screens sure get light fast around here. || 1E, 3E, or 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 7 || talk knight || Lookin good, Mr. Peasant. Good luck with ol' Beefy Arm up there.&lt;br&gt;This is it! You can finally get revenge on Trogdor! Nice work so far, stupid!&lt;br&gt;Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter.&lt;br&gt;Disk read error. Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter. || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || climb || With a new determination you dig your fingers into the cliff face and begin to haul yourself up the mountain like you were in a sports drink commercial&lt;br&gt;The mountain starts rumbling and big loose boulders start tumblin down. You'd best avoid thems. || Cliff base<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (successfully climbing the cliff without dying) || Nice jorb climbing the cliff. You have a real way with those arrow keys. || Cliffland heights<br /> |-id=&quot;bribery_route&quot;<br /> | 0 || (approached by first keeper) || Foolish peasant! How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!&lt;br&gt;You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!&lt;br&gt;You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.&lt;br&gt;And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.&lt;br&gt;Unless you happen to have something to eat on ya. Then we could forego my question. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give sandwich || No way! I was just kidding but you've really got a meatball sub. This rules! Here, you can have the Trog-Shield. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (approached by second keeper) || Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!&lt;br&gt;Or we could call it even if I had an ice cold drink right now. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give soda || Sweet deal, peasant. I underestimated you. Wear this Trog-Helmet with style. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (approached by third keeper) || Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!&lt;br&gt;That is, unless you've got something for my lower back. Man, it's killin me! || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give pills || Whoa! Where'd you find this stuff? I don't think this is even legal anymore. These babies'll definitely smote LUMBAGO the, um, LOWER BACKINATOR!!&lt;br&gt;The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (enter Trogdor's cave) || the beaded curtain slams shut behind you. There's no turning back now. || Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 7 || throw sword || This is it! You hurl the Trog-Sword with all your might at the sleeping Burninator.&lt;br&gt;Now you've done it! Trogdor's awake and the Trog-Sword doesn't seem to be doing a whole lot.&lt;br&gt;Your legs lock in fear, your eyes glaze over and you wish for some Depeasant adult undergarments. But you think you hear Trogdor whimpering!&lt;br&gt;Aw crap, that's you whimpering. At least your voice still works, I guess.|| Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 10 || talk trogdor || You scream that your name is Rather Dashing and that Trogdor burninated your cottage and you're here for revenge!&lt;br&gt;&quot;Sup, mortal,&quot; booms Trogdor. &quot;I really appreciate you making the effort to come all the way up here and vanquish me and all. But, I'm kinda indestructible.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Yeah, I can't be killed. I'm surprised nobody mentioned that to you. I'll admit though, you've gotten farther than anybody else ever has. I bet they'll make a statue or something in honor of you somewheres.&lt;br&gt;&quot;I can honestly say it'll be a pleasure and an honor to burninate you, Rather Dashing.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Aw that sure was nice of him!&lt;br&gt;Congratulations! You've won! No one can kill Trogdor but you came closer than anybody ever! Way to go! || Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Peasant's Quest&lt;br&gt;Written by Matt, Jonathan, and Mike || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Programmed by Jonathan || 1E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Graphics by Mike and Matt || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Quality Assurance Types:&lt;br&gt;Neal Stamper,&lt;br&gt;Don Chapman, and John Radle&lt;br&gt;Nice work on winning and everything.&lt;br&gt;THE END || 3B<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==The Three Keepers' Messages==<br /> There are several messages that the game may return while [[Rather Dashing]] is answering questions of [[The Three Keepers of Trogdor]]. The simplest way to complete this part of the game is to bribe the Keepers; the messages returned in this case are listed [[Peasant's Quest Responses#bribery_route|above]]. If Rather Dashing has not acquired the three items necessary to bribe the Keepers, however, he must answer a question from each of them. The messages returned while answering their questions are listed here.<br /> <br /> ===The First Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!&lt;br&gt;You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!&lt;br&gt;You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.&lt;br&gt;And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> ''The First Keeper will ask you one of the following questions (the correct answer is '''highlighted'''):''<br /> :Okay here goes. What did you win from the Archery game?<br /> :A. SuperBow FunTime TM<br /> :'''B. SuperTime FunBow TM'''<br /> :C. SuperFun BowTime TM<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Okay here goes. What does Mendelev have you tell Dongolev?<br /> :'''A. Haldo'''<br /> :B. Hallo<br /> :C. Allo<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Okay here goes. What is the only creature the Jhonka fears?<br /> :A. Poor Gary<br /> :B. The Baby<br /> :'''C. The Kerrek'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;Ah crap! You're right. Here, take this stupid Trog-Shield!&quot;<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> &quot;Sorry peasant! You fail! And as punishment, you will be turned into...RON CUMBERDALE!!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> You ask who the crap Ron Cumberdale is.<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> &quot;Just this kid from 4th grade that I really hated. But he was a BIG LOSER and HE SMELLED!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Well, you not exactly dead. But there's no way you could defeat Trogdor as Ron Cumberdale. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.<br /> <br /> ===The Second Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> :Listen careful now. Which one of these letters is the letter C?<br /> :A. B<br /> :'''B. C'''<br /> :C. A<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Listen careful now. How many berry bushes are there in the whole kingdom of Peasantry?<br /> :A. 4<br /> :'''B. 5'''<br /> :C. 6<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Listen careful now. What was the Innkeeper's pantry full of?<br /> :A. Epsom Salts<br /> :B. Epson Printers<br /> :'''C. Old Man Rub'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;That's right. Oh. This sucks. Guess I have to give you this Trog-Helmet. Dang.&quot;<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> &quot;WRONG! You are hereby cursed to write corny folk songs for the rest of eternity! The kind that only OLD PEOPLE LIKE!!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Well, you not exactly dead. But you certainly can't face Trogdor after writing 'Wheat Grows Sweet, But My Gal's Sweeter'. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.<br /> <br /> ===The Third Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> :Riddle me this. To whom did the robe you're wearing originally belong?<br /> :A. Nobleman Nicholas<br /> :B. Nina Neverawesome<br /> :'''C. Naked Ned'''<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Riddle me this. What color are the leaves on the tree that grows by the well?<br /> :'''A. Orange'''<br /> :B. Green<br /> :C. Yellow<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Riddle me this. Which way does the river that runs through Peasantry flow?<br /> :A. West to East<br /> :B. Northwest to South<br /> :'''C. Northeast to Southwest'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;Uh oh. You got it right. Trogdor's gonna kill me. Okay, you can have the Trog-Sword. Just promise not to kill any Trogdor's with it, kay?&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> You just stare at the Keeper blankly.<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> &quot;Okay fine! You can have the dumb thing anyways. Trogdor's through the beaded curtain over there.&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant.<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> YES! I was hoping you'd get mine wrong. No Trog-Sword for you. In fact, no skin for you either!<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Wow. You sure dead. You had a good run, though. Thanks for playin.<br /> <br /> ''Note: if you fail to provide &quot;A&quot;, &quot;B&quot;, or &quot;C&quot; as an answer to any of the above questions, the Keeper will ask the question again, replacing the first sentence with the following one:'' Peasant fool! Choose A, B, or C!<br /> <br /> ==Area Descriptions==<br /> By typing &quot;look&quot; in an area, you can receive a description of the surrounding area. Sometimes descriptions change as events come to pass.<br /> <br /> *'''Hidden Glen:''' Well, looky here! A hidden glen! You LOVE hidden glens. This one has some kinda archer in it.<br /> **''{after Dongelev leaves}'' You're in a hidden glen. There's a tree with zillions of arrows in it.<br /> *'''Poor Gary's Glen ([[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|A1]]):''' Hey! There's a rotten ol' horse over there!<br /> *'''Kerrek Tracks 1 (B1):''' There are large hoof prints in the grass here.<br /> **''{no Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the the [sic] grass here. And it smells like a public latrine.<br /> **''{living Kerrek}'' It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!<br /> **''{dead Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. There is a large Kerrek-shaped mound on the grass.<br /> **''{rotting Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Part of the ground looks just like a rotting &lt;!--no capital--&gt;kerrek.<br /> **''{skeletal Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Looks like someone left their spare bones here.<br /> *'''Old Well (C1):''' There's a really generic well here. Oh, and apparently it's autumn on this screen.<br /> *'''Yellow Tree (D1):''' Rushing river [[b/w]] yellow tree.<br /> *'''Waterfall (E1):''' There's a beautiful, magical waterfall cascading down the cliff side.<br /> *'''That Hay Bale (A2):''' Well, there's that big bale of hay over there.<br /> **''{when in hay disguise, anywhere}'' Right now, you see a bunch of hay.<br /> *'''That Mud Puddle (B2):''' There's a dried out mud puddle. It's all caked and cracked like the kind rock stars are always standing on.<br /> **''{when raining}'' Not much to see. 'Sides that big mud puddle.<br /> *'''Archery Range (C2):''' You've come across some kind of shooting gallery. There's a depressed looking archer at the desk there.<br /> *'''River and Stone (D2):''' Not much to see. River's got a rock in it.<br /> *'''Mountain Pass (E2):''' You've reached the mountain pass that leads to Trogdor's lair. A royal knight blocks the entrance.<br /> *'''Jhonka's Cave (A3):''' There's a little cave with a little door with a little note on it.<br /> **''{before getting riches, after Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.&lt;!--No space--&gt;A fat pile of riches lies next to him.<br /> **''{after the Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.<br /> *'''Your Burninated Cottage (B3):''' The remains of your thatched-roof cottage lie before you. You swear revenge against Trogdor.<br /> *'''Pebble Lake West (C3):''' There's definitely half a lake here with a sandy shore.<br /> *'''Pebble Lake East (D3):''' Why it's half a lake.<br /> **''{when the old man is fishing}'' Why it's half a lake.&lt;!--there's no space--&gt;With a fisherman in it. And he's fishing!<br /> *'''Outside Giant Inn (E3):''' There's a giant Inn here. It takes up, like, the entire screen.<br /> **'''Inside Giant Inn:''' What a dump! Only one bed and no minibar? The Innkeeper stands behind the desk and there's a door that's closed.<br /> **'''Inside Giant Inn:''' ''{at night}'' It's still dark out. The grimey old Innkeeper is gone and he left the pantry open.<br /> *'''Outside Mysterious Cottage: (A4)''' There's a run-of-the-mill non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.<br /> **'''Inside Mysterious Cottage:''' This place could use some serious sprucing of the 'up' variety. There's a dresser over there and a broom kind of silhouetted all mysterious like.<br /> *'''Wavy Tree (B4):''' Nothing special here except for that weird wavy tree.<br /> *'''Kerrek Tracks 2 (C4):''' ''{same as Kerrek Tracks 1}''<br /> *'''Outside Baby Lady Cottage (D4):''' There's a ranch-style thatched roof cottage here. There are also what appear to be four crunch berry bushes but you can't be sure.<br /> **'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. A lady rocks her baby in a chair. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.<br /> **'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' ''{after the baby lady leaves}'' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. There is one of those self-rocking chairs. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.<br /> *'''Burninated Trees (E4):''' A signal lantern of some kind hangs from a burninated tree.<br /> **''{at night}'' A burning signal lantern hangs from a severely burninated tree.<br /> *'''Cliff Base:''' You're at the base of a very climbable cliff that leads to Trogdor's lair. This cliff is huge - the kind where rocks start falling down the minute you try to climb it.<br /> *'''Cliffland Heights:''' Wow! It sure gets creepy fast around here! What with all the lightning and scary cave entrances.<br /> *'''Trogdor's Outer Sanctum:''' There are 3 openings with a little cliff in front of each. A beaded curtain hangs in a doorway on the far wall.<br /> *'''Trogdor's Posh Lair:''' You're in a giant cavern which houses a giant dragon. You didn't shrink or anything.<br /> <br /> ==Other Productive Responses==<br /> ===Constructive Conversations===<br /> There are some helpful residents of [[Peasantry]] who will provide you with tips about how to proceed in the game. While these conversations are not necessary for completion of the game, many are important to the game's storyline.<br /> <br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Character !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (at beginning of game) || You explain your situation to the knight. That Trogdor burninated your cottage and you've sworn revenge. You ask for passage up the mountain to settle your score. (Press RETURN to advance through conversations)&lt;br&gt;&quot;Hang on there, Trogdorkilla,&quot; says the knight. &quot;I can only allow actual peasants up the mountain pass to face Trogdor. And you CLEARLY are not one.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Look, Dragonheart...&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;You don't STINK like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;You don't DRESS like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;And you're definitely not ON FIRE like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Once you're those 3 things, come back and maybe we can talk.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Be sure to LOOK around lots. Talk to everyone you see and ASK ABOUT stuff. Type HELP if you get confused and INVENTORY to see your worldly stuff. Type SAVE or LOAD to save or load your game. Duh.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;belt_only&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt) || &quot;Frankly, Matthew Broderick, you sure stink like a peasant. But you still don't DRESS like a peasant and you're not ON FIRE like a peasant.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;robe_only&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Naked Ned's robe) || &quot;My dear Adso, you are dressed well but you don't STINK and you're not ON FIRE. Let us instead exercise our brains and try to solve this tantalizing conundrum.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;belt_and_robe&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt and Naked Ned's robe) || &quot;Almost there, Dirk the Daring. You stink like a peasant and you dress like one too. But you're clearly still not ON FIRE.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | [[Baby Lady &amp; Her Baby#The Baby Lady|The Baby Lady]] || talk lady || &quot;Hello, I'm-&quot; you start but the lady cuts you off&lt;br&gt;&quot;Okay, here's why I let you in here,&quot; she explains. &quot;My husband got squished by Trogdor. And to make matters worse, the insurance riches I got were stolen by Jhonka. Go steal them back for us and I'll give you something great.&quot; || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || talk man (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || You holler at the old man about Trogdor, but he just grumbles about the fish not biting. &quot;Must be using the wrong bait...&quot; he says, suggestively. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || talk man (after throwing chicken feed in lake) || &quot;If you're interested in staying the night, just type 'get a room.'&quot; || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || get a room (without robe)|| &quot;I only serve peasants here, fancypants!&quot; barks the old guy. &quot;Where's your robe?&quot; || Inside giant inn<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ===Useful Documents===<br /> There are a few notes and documents lying around Peasantry that help Rather Dashing on his quest.<br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Item !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | [[Peasant's Quest Items#map|Map]] || get map || You tuck it nice-like into your short, short pants. Type MAP at nearly any time to check the map. || 3B<br /> |-<br /> | Note on [[Old Man]]'s door || read note (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || It says, &quot;Gone Fishin&quot; just like that grog coozie your cousin got you. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | Note on [[Jhonka]]'s door || read note (before killing [[Kerrek]]) || It says &quot;scared of kerrek. go way. -j&quot; || 3A<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ===Helpful Hints===<br /> At times when you stray from the correct path in the game, the computer will respond with suggestions to help keep you on the right track.<br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! Action !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | After jumping in the haystack, go from 2A to any screen except 3A || Drat. The winds are heavy on all but a couple of key screens... looks like you're no longer in stealth mode. || 1A or 2B<br /> |-<br /> | Type any command while the pot of horse grease is on your head || You need to get out of there before that smelly octogenarian gets back. || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | Type any command other than &quot;Talk&quot; or &quot;Talk Trogdor&quot; after Trogdor wakes up || Trogdor is awake and a couple seconds from a Rather Dashing BBQ. Might as well say your peace with him. || Trogdor's Posh Lair<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==Unproductive Responses==<br /> [[Image:closedrawer.PNG|thumb|300px|&gt; CLOSE DRAWER]]<br /> There are many messages that the game gives you when you input commands that are not essential to the game's storyline. Here is a list of all that have been found. When more than one option is given, such as &quot;get/take _____&quot;, either word will produce the same response.<br /> <br /> <br /> {{compactTOC3}}<br /> {{clear}}<br /> ===#===<br /> <br /> ===A===<br /> *'''&quot;Ask about _____&quot;:'''<br /> **'''Baby:'''<br /> ***(to Baby Lady) - &quot;This little guy's all I got left. If only someone would steal back all our riches from that filthy Jhonka.&quot;<br /> **'''Fire:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Well, whenever I see peasants, they tend to be on fire. So get yourself on fire. I hear horse grease gives a nice, controlled burn.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;You need fire? A couple of trees over by the waterfall used to be on fire. But now there's like a signal lantern over there or something.&quot; / &quot;So should I ask that signal lantern?&quot; you ask. / &quot;I dunno man! Whattaya want from me?&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Trogdor just burned down some idiot peasant's cottage. You should ask him,&quot; says Mendelev. / &quot;Yeah, this jerk goes on vacation to some prancey lake and...&quot; / They see you staring daggers at them and turn bright red. / &quot;Oh. Nevermind,&quot; says Dongolev. &quot;Um, yeah. What's a fire?&quot; adds Mendelwhatever.<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Burninator make fire! Barbecue all peasants!&quot;<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I've always preferred being on fire at night. Looks prettier and keeps the butterflies away.&quot;<br /> **'''Jhonka:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Since the Kerrek showed up, we don't see the Jhonka so much anymore. He lives in that little cave over in west Peasantry.&quot;<br /> ***(to Baby Lady) - &quot;That nasty thing killed my husband and took my riches!!&quot; / &quot;I thought Trogdor killed your husband,&quot; you interject. / &quot;Oh right. Yeah. That's what I said. Trogband killed my husbdor.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;The Kerrek is dead!&quot; he cries and hops around some more. You wonder how someone this primitive could have made that much dough.<br /> **'''Kerrek:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I call him Big Stinky. He's slow and stupid, but he'll pound you into milks meat without a second thought.&quot;<br /> **'''Naked Ned:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;That weirdo used to live over in west Peasantry but now I guess he just prances around the forest in his birthday suit.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;Don't talk about that pervert in front of the baby here.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;That guy creeps us out. In fact, shut up about him.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Filthy naked peasant! Stay away from my cave-hole!&quot; Who's he calling naked? HE'S the one wearing the string bikini.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;He used to be such a nice, clothed young man. Wonder what he's done with all his old clothes?&quot;<br /> **'''robe:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Peasants wear those brown robes. You know, with the rope around the waist. Get yourself one of those.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;You can't have mine, pervert! I'm not a nudist peasant like that weirdo over in west Peasantry!&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;We wouldn't know. We only wear archer clothes. You just can't arch real well in a robe, y'know?&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - ''see naked ned''<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I wear my robe hood-down so it's easier to trim my ear-hairs. If you need a robe, maybe try someone that's not using theirs.&quot;<br /> **'''smell:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I never met a peasant that didn't stink. If you wanna smell bad, get the Kerrek involved. That thing reeks!&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;What smells is junior here's drawers! I gotta quit feeding him so much horse!&quot; / &quot;And don't start asking me for his diapers, sicko!&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;That giant pig running around sure smells bad. Maybe talk to him.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Kerrek smell! Now Kerrek dead!&quot; screeches the Jhonka. So you can infer from this that all smells are dead? You always sucked at the analytical questions.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;Well, if you don't stink, maybe find something that does and wear it. Like a dead carcass or summat.&quot;<br /> **'''trogdor:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;If I had a gold coin for every whining peasant's cottage that freaking dragon burninated, I'd be rich as a jhonka.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;I hope you kill that stupid dragon. My 'Wives of Squished Peasants' support group would bake you a Poor Gary pie if you did.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Oh man, there was this one time when I came THIS close to having Trogdor ARROWED!&quot; says Dongolev. / &quot;Hey, shut up! That was me!&quot; interrupts Mendelev, &quot;YOU almost arrowed that blue baby!&quot; says Dongolev. [sic] / &quot;Did not!&quot; / &quot;Did so!&quot; / &quot;Did not!&quot; / (You see where this is going.)<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;All hail Burninator! Trogdor Number One! Beat Peasant Tech!&quot; says the grimy Jhonka.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;Are you talking about that young green boy that lives up the street? He's always tearing my roof off and eating my customers.&quot;<br /> **'''anything else:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I don't know anything about that, short pants.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;I dunno what you're talking about.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Either we don't know anything about that, or you're real boring.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Jhonka don't know nothing bout that!&quot;<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I don't know nothing about no whatever you just said.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere else) - &quot;Ask about what?&quot;<br /> : &lt;small&gt;* - You can only ask Mendelev and Dongolev when they're together.&lt;/small&gt;<br /> *'''&quot;attack sign&quot;''' (at the Mountain Pass) - &quot;I was being facetious, Mr. Smarty-short-pants. No sign attacking for you.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===B===<br /> *'''&quot;boo&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Scared me.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;break/kick/punch door&quot;''' (at Outside mysterious cottage) - &quot;Violence is not the answer.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;break sign&quot;''' (at Mountain Pass) - ''See &quot;attack sign&quot;''<br /> *'''&quot;break stump, sit on stump, etc.&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Are you THAT bored? Do some questing already!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;buy kerrek a cold one&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;The kerrek&lt;!--sic--&gt; is a teetotaller and is offended by your offer. You've really cheesed him off now.&quot; '''Warning:''' This speeds the Kerrek up, so be careful. This command was first seen in the email [[for kids]].<br /> <br /> ===C===<br /> *'''&quot;[[The Cheat|cheat]]&quot;''' (or any phrase involving &quot;cheat&quot;; anywhere) - &quot;Meh.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;climb _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;cliff&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere near the bottom of the cliff) - &quot;There aren't enough footholds and you don't have any carabeaners on you.&quot;<br /> ***(at the top of the cliff) - &quot;They don't show how the sports-drink people get down from the cliff. You've no idea how to start.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;Nope. It's too sheer.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fence&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;No, you have business to attend to here in Peasantry.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;More like you should walk through that gaping hole in it. Just an idea.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Not going to dignify that with a response.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in bucket&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Your butt is too big.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;No go. Your insurance doesn't cover that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but at the wavy tree or hidden glen) - &quot;But then your hands would get all sappy.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Naw, you'd probably figure out some way to kill yourself doing that.&quot;<br /> ***(at the wavy tree) - &quot;You don't climb wavy trees.&quot;<br /> ***(after getting a room in the inn) - &quot;Naw. That's dumb. Do better.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;close _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Already done. That was easy!&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - &quot;You can't. That baby really wrenched it open good.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;'''<br /> ***(without stealing the robe) - &quot;Right, right. Wouldn't want to leave the robes out where any old guy trying to beat an adventure game could take them.&quot;<br /> ***(when it's closed) - &quot;A riddle: What can be closed that is already closed? (hint: not this drawer)&quot;<br /> ***(after getting the robe) - &quot;Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;cut off arms, legs, and head&quot;''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Very funny. You have trouble cutting out coupons in the weekly 'Peasant Penny-Pincher' circular. I'd like to see you try.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===D===<br /> *'''&quot;[[dan]]&quot;''' (or any phrase involving Dan; anywhere): &quot;Dan's still okay. Got a place on Dekalb with Rick and his wife. Slimmed up a bit and looking towards the future.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;dance&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You'd rather just stand here and soak up the scene.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;die&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;That wasn't very smart. You dead.&quot; '''Warning:''' This kills you.<br /> *'''&quot;drink&quot;''' (or any object after &quot;drink&quot;; anywhere) - &quot;For simplicity's sake you are immune to hunger and thirst in this game. So you got that going for you./Which is nice.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;drop baby&quot;'''<br /> **(once you have baby) - &quot;Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm.&quot; '''or''' &quot;Quit tryin to ditch the baby!&quot;<br /> **(before you have baby) - &quot;You don't even have two babies to rub together.&quot;<br /> **(at the well) - &quot;Like where?&quot;<br /> <br /> ===E===<br /> <br /> ===F===<br /> *'''&quot;feed horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen before scaring him) - &quot;There's a good chance that horse has NEVER eaten. I doubt he'll start now.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===G===<br /> *'''&quot;get a room&quot;''' (when on fire) - &quot;\oard&lt;!-- Yes, it's really a backslash, not a B. That's why &quot;[sic]&quot; is there. --&gt; [sic] of Peasant Health says I can't serve any folk that's on fire. Nothing personal. Well, I mean, I don't like you much anyway.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;get/take/steal _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;(anything not listed and not relevant to the plot)&quot;''' - &quot;You probably WISH you could get that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;arrow&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the archery range) - &quot;They have 'RANGE' printed on them, so it would be kind of embarrassing to have to shoot around with them. Also, that guy over there is giving you the evil eye.&quot;<br /> ***(at the secret glen while Dongolev is there) - &quot;Something tells me now's not a good time.&quot; (you get the arrow anyway and Dongolev shoots you) &quot;It wasn't a good time. Hey, my mom's making peasant-kabobs for dinner TOO! Right. Anyway. You dead. Thanks for playing, and try not to die.&quot; '''Warning:''' As you can see, this kills you.<br /> ***(at the secret glen after getting the first arrow OR at the secret glen after getting the second arrow after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;You're pretty much all set on the arrow front. They're kinda cool, though.&quot;<br /> ***(at the secret glen after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;You grab yet another arrow from the tree hoping to get some bonus points.&quot;<br /> ***(at Kerrek's body after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;Eww! No way. That thing's got some serious Kerrek-Brand kooties on it now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage, while she has the baby) - &quot;'You want to be a part of this family? GO GET US THOSE RICHES!!' she shrieks.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bell&quot;''' (in the inn, after getting a room) - &quot;You can't. It looks like it's been somehow olded&lt;!-- sic --&gt; to the desk.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (after getting it) - &quot;You totally got the belt already, as evidenced by the rancid cloud of odor that follows you like a shadow.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;berries&quot;'''<br /> ***(the same bush twice outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You already searched that bush. It was okay. Nothing to write home about... oh, wait... you don't have a home. My b.&quot;<br /> ***(after you've gotten the trinket, outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You've searched your fill of berry bushes for this game. If you want to search more press 'reload' on the browser&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake) - &quot;NO MAN! JEEZ!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bone/skull&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff) - &quot;Eww. No. Grody. You're grody. No. Eww.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;broom&quot;''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;No, no. The broom is in the foreground and you can't take things from the foreground. You don't see me all typing 'get browser window', do you?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bucket&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;You can't, it's tied to a rope and you're terrible with knots.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;candle&quot;''' (at night, in the inn) - &quot;It seems like you should be able to do that, doesn't it? Sorry. No dice.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;chair&quot;''' <br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is there) - &quot;No. There's a big bag of something in it. Oh, that's the baby lady.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is gone) - &quot;No. Too big for pants.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;club&quot;''' (outside the Jhonka's cottage when he's out) - &quot;Now there's a surefire way to get yourself killed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;You get a hernia from lifting it. -2 Movement points, -10 Constitution. Don't do that again.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage after stealing feed) - &quot;You don't need anymore. It might give rise to old temptations.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fire&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, before getting the horse grease) - &quot;You're just not flammable enough.&quot;<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting the horse grease) - &quot;You don't need to get IT. Just let IT get YOU.&quot;<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting on fire) - &quot;You're already on fire! What? You want to be MORE on fire?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;You nasty. Besides, they wouldn't survive a minute away from that horse's butt.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;gold/money&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Um, that's chicken feed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;grease&quot;''' (inside the inn, at night, when you already got the grease) - &quot;You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;hay&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;Who do you think you are? Some kind of Thy Dungeonman? You don't need any hay.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;There's a huge bale a couple of screens over from here. Why bother stealing?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain whether or not he's still alive) - &quot;Well, he does smell real bad. But he's a bit too big to fit in your pocket.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lantern&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;Better not. There's an engraved plaque on it that says, &quot;Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of 'You Die'.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;mud&quot;'''<br /> ***(when it's wet, before you fall in) - &quot;You can't get the mud so much. More like the mud'll get you.&quot;<br /> ***(when it's wet, after you fall in) - &quot;You've already gotten an heapin' helpin' all up on yo'self.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;map&quot;''' (at your cottage, after you've gotten it) - &quot;Yeah but like you already map the took, guy!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;note&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Jhonka's cave) - &quot;It's been magically sealed to the door with a wondrously whimsical spell.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;What is it with you and notes?! No!!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;old man rub&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;You disgust me.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;paper&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Naw, it might be important to that wrinkly old loon.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;painting&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Weird. It's actually painted right into the wall. Like, the frame and everything.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles&quot;'''<br /> ***(after you've gotten them) - &quot;Come now. We've been through this jaunty little bit before. You took them from the half lake screen with the cattail and stuff.&quot;<br /> ***(from the opposite side of where you get the pebbles) &quot;You do your best Mr. Fantastic impression, but you can't reach them from here.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;plague&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;Wrong game, Mispeller Jones. Try the little button to the left of the 'W'.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;plaque&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;You have enough of that on your browning, rotten peasant teeth already.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pillow&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;Not a chance. There's even more questionable stains on that pillow than there are on that rug.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You don't have anywhere to use it and it is rather bulky, so you leave it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pot&quot;''' (in the inn, after you already have horse grease) - &quot;You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;robe&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, after you've gotten it) - &quot;You still remember the time when you took them. Oh, the times have changed ... but the robes?&quot;<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, when the drawer is closed) - &quot;You reach into the closed drawer and nearly break your hand slamming it. Just like a bird on a pane of glass minus the blamelessness.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rock&quot;'''<br /> ***(by the stream) - &quot;For what? Now you're just making up puzzles to solve.&quot;<br /> ***(at the mud puddle) - &quot;That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me.&quot;<br /> ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage, after moving it) - &quot;You've already moved the stone out of the way to reveal a less-than peasant-sized hole.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rug&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;You're not touching that thing. Too many questionable stains on it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;stuff/food&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Which foodstuffs?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;target&quot;''' (at the archery range) - &quot;No. Those will fall on you and more than likely kill you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;give _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;(anything not listed)&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;We don't need that mess.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere except for the woman's cottage) - &quot;You don't need to give that now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn, before you get the baby) - &quot;You have no baby nor any immediate prospects.&quot;<br /> ***(in the inn, when you already have the pills) - &quot;You already milked that fogey for all the pills he's worth.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;riches&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, before getting the riches) - &quot;'That's right,' she whines. 'Find my riches, and give here.'&quot;<br /> ***(outside Jhonka's cave, before jumping in hay) - &quot;The Jhonka will see you! And rip out your jugular with his teeth or something equally horrible.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, after giving the riches) - &quot;We did that already, and it was sort of humiliating.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trinket&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot; 'Did you find that thing in my yard?' she asks. 'I got that thing free in a box of Plaguezees. I need some FOR REAL riches!' &quot;<br /> ***(inside woman's cottage after giving trinket to Mendelev) - &quot;'Why are you holding your hand out?' she asks. 'I told you I need riches, so I can't give em away.' You don't have a trinket to give, you realize.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;go _____&quot;''' (anything or letter can be put in here) - &quot;Use the arrow keys, pal. Just like a joypad only more like your day job.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===H===<br /> *'''&quot;haldo&quot;'''<br /> **(anywhere but in the secret glade, before or after talking to Mendelev) - &quot;That's totally not Dongolev.&quot;<br /> **(in the secret glade before talking to Mendelev) - &quot;What'd you read that in PQ Stragedy [sic] Guide? Go talk to my brother first.&quot;<br /> **(in the secret glade after Dongolev leaves) - &quot;Haldo?.' you call out... 'Hadloooooo' [sic] &quot;<br /> **(at the archery Range after Dongolev has returned) - &quot;HALDO!!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;hide in hay&quot;''' (at the hay bale, before getting in) - &quot;Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;hug tree&quot;''' (at the hay bale) - &quot;To every thing, turn, turn, turn. There is a season, turn, turn, turn.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===I===<br /> <br /> ===J===<br /> *'''&quot;jump in hay&quot;''' (by the hay bale, when you're not muddy) - &quot;Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;jump in hay&quot;''' (near the hay bale, when you're muddy but not right next to it) - &quot;Who do you think you are, MJ? Try from a little closer.&quot;<br /> ===K===<br /> *'''&quot;kick/kill/punch poor gary&quot;'''<br /> **(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;You attempt to cause Poor Gary harm for no good reason other than you kinda suck at this game. {Poor Gary kicks you} WOW! For a decrepit old horse, Poor Gary still packs a mean whallop. You dead. Thanks for playing.&quot; '''Warning:''' Needless to say, this kills you.<br /> **(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;kill _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Those flies and that horse's butt have a symbiotic relationship. You have no right to disrupt that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (after he's outside) - &quot;No way! Jhonka's are born scrappers. He may be little, but he'll crawl ya.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is present and you do not have the bow and arrow) - &quot;With what?! You got no weapons except your butter-knife wit.&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the arrow, but not the bow) - &quot;With what?! You gonna throw that arrow at him?&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the bow, but not the arrow) - &quot;With what?! You got no arrow, fool!&quot;<br /> ***(after the Kerrek is dead) - &quot;Yeah. You smote the Kerrek. You deserve a trophy full of Mutton-ums.&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is not there) - &quot;Good idea. But you kinda need the actual Kerrek to be here for that to work.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;''' (while Trogdor's asleep, in his lair) - &quot;Like how?&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;knock&quot;'''<br /> **(at the woman's cottage) - &quot; 'It's open,' says a female voice from inside. Um, it's NOT open, but you get her drift.&quot;<br /> **(at the woman's cottage, after she leaves) - No one answers. That crazy lady took off. How ever will you get past this closed door now?<br /> **(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - &quot;A gravelly voice inside yells, 'JUST US CHICKENS' '''or:''' 'NO FOR RENT' '''or:''' 'I GIVE LAST YEAR!' '''or:''' 'GAVE AT OFFICE' '''or:''' 'GO WAY!'&quot;<br /> **(at the inn, while it's closed) - &quot;No answer.&quot;<br /> **(at the inn, after it's been opened) - &quot;Just open it, man!&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;You could knock until your knuckles bleed. Nobody's home.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;Knock until knuckles bleed&quot;'''<br /> **(at Naked Ned's cottage)-&quot;You knock for about 4 hours until your knuckles are raw and bloody. That was fun!&quot;<br /> **(type it again at Naked Ned's cottage)-&quot;You done that already. A great time was had by all.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===L===<br /> *'''&quot;light lantern&quot;'''<br /> **(at the burninated trees before it is lit) - &quot;With what? Your red-hot intellect?&quot;<br /> **(at the burninated trees after it is lit) - &quot;Already lit, moron.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;load&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;look _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''(at anything, while hiding inside the bale of hay)''' - &quot;Right now, you see a bunch of hay.&quot;<br /> **'''(at something previously in your inventory but now gone)''' - &quot;You used to have one, before the great item blight of 402. Check your INVENTORY to read about it.&quot; <br /> **'''(at something currently in your inventory)''' - &quot;You've totally got one of those! Check your INVENTORY to give'r a serious looksee.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;arrow&quot;''' (at the hidden glen) - &quot;Somebody call a tree doctor. Them puppies are stuck in there like a, um, er ... stuck pig.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage while she has the baby) - &quot;Peasant babies are pretty freaking adorable. This little guy's no exception.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bed&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Is that just a fitted sheet over a slab of concrete?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bell&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Tis broked.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;Yecch. I wouldn't touch that unless it was, like, an important quest item or something.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;berries&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake) &quot;Shut up.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Crunch berries maybe.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;boat/dinghy&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot;Keep your eyes off my dinghy!&quot; <br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake after he is gone) - &quot;It was loaned out to the [[Fishing Challenge '91|Fishing Challenge videogame]].&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bone/skeleton/skull&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff for the bone and skull and in Trogdor's outer sanctum for the skeleton) - &quot;You can't be sure but you think those are dead person bones.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bush&quot;''' (at the west side of the lake) - &quot;Don't worry about that bush. Yeah, there's red berries on it but never you mind.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bushes&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You suspect they might be crunch berry bushes.&quot;<br /> ***(in the hidden glen) - &quot;There's some thick 'ol bushes up in this hidden glen.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;candle&quot;''' (in the inn after getting a room) - &quot;That candle's not at all on fire.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;cave&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the Jhonka's cave) - &quot;Just a little cave. Calm down.&quot;<br /> ***(at the top of the cliff) - &quot;The cave entrance beckons to you like a hot mutton sandwich might.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;chair&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;One of those self-rocking kind. Not bad for a brown-collar peasant-type. Must be trickle-down in action.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;club/turkey leg&quot;''' (at the Jhonka's cave when he's outside) - &quot;Turkey leg or no, it looks like the Jhonka's been gnawing on it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;cottage&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the yellow tree) - &quot;You see a cottage in the distance. You hold your fingers up to one eye and pretend to squash it.&quot;<br /> ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;A run-of-the-mill, non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You had a cottage once. A lot like this one. *sniff* Trogdor will pay!&quot;<br /> ***(at your burninated cottage) - &quot;All your baubles and trinkets, your flasks and scrolls, your goblets and staffs! BURNINATED!!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;crank&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the well before putting pebbles in the bucket) - &quot;It looks rusted in place.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well after putting pebbles in the bucket) - &quot;That is a bonafide crank. It seems to work now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;curtain/beads&quot;''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;That thing's awesome. You always wanted one for your dorm room but your roommate was a total drag and said no.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;desk&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the archery range) - &quot;It says 'archery' on it. My wife's drunk.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn) - &quot;There's a broken bell and a piece of parchment on there.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;Just a door. A door with a note on it.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;A wicked beaded curtain hangs in the doorway.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Listen to you, &quot;look door&quot; What kinda gaming is that? It's a door and it's closed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Cool Ranch. Your old favorite.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fence&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;A particularly rickety peasant-issue fence. Trogdor uses bits of these as toothpicks.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;It's got a big ol' hole in it. For walking through.&quot;<br /> ***(by haystack/Jhonka's cottage/Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;A standard peasant fence. Trogdor makes milk's meat outta these things.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Wow! There's a hole in it on THIS side too!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;A cloud of buttflies fly around the horse's butt.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;footprints/tracks&quot;''' (when the Kerrek is present) - &quot;It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;footprints/tracks&quot;''' (when the Kerrek is not present) - &quot;If you weren't a simpleton you might think these were Kerrek prints. But since you are a simpleton, you just go, 'Yay! Piggies!' &quot;<br /> **'''&quot;ground&quot;''' - &quot;Hey, it's your old fireproof map of Peasantry.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;hay&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;It reminds you of a warm, safe place where as a child you'd hide.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Hay is for horses!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;hole&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, before deploying baby) - &quot;You peer into the tiny opening. The cottage appears to be empty.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after deploying baby) - &quot;There is no baby here, but there's an open door on the other side of the room. If you could only get to it somehow!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;This bag o' bones looks like he's headed for the glue factory. He's got the name 'Poor Gary' branded onto his hide.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in hay&quot;''' (at the hay bale) - &quot;You search and search through the haystack. Nope. No needles.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;It's dark and welly in there. Smell like stank too.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;inn&quot;''' (outside the inn) - &quot;Looks okay from out here. But do they have a free breakfast buffet?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (at the Jhonka's cottage when he's outside) - &quot;The Jhonka is gray and grody. He's got a cromagnon forehead and jaw with a pair of wicked incisors. He sports an old loin-cheese cloth and carries either a big club or one of those roasted turkey legs you got at the Ren Fest.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - &quot;It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!&quot;<br /> ***(while he's decomposing) - &quot;He dead. You didn't think he could have smelled any worse? Well, guess what: He smells worse.&quot;<br /> ***(when he's all bones) - &quot;He dead. He wasn't fat, he was just big boned! Poor pig-man.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;knight/man/dude/guy&quot;''' (at the mountain pass) - &quot;He looks way cooler than you.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lady/woman&quot;''' <br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she's still there) - &quot;Typical pasty peasant woman, overbearing and judgemental&lt;!-- sic --&gt;. Obsessed with goods and land.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, after she's gone) - &quot;I can't believe you thought you had a chance with her!/Dork!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lake&quot;''' (at the fisherman's lake) - &quot;Why it's half a lake.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;lake/water&quot;''' (at the lake with pebbles) - &quot;It extends onto the next screen and has a sandy shore.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;lantern&quot;'''<br /> ***(while unlit; at the burninated trees) - &quot;It's unlit at the moment. That fancy pants royal knight probably lights it on nights when Troggie's on the prowl.&quot;<br /> ***(while lit; at the burninated trees) - &quot;It's lit! Musta been a Trogdor sighting tonight.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lightning&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff) - &quot;Scary. Like Auntie Gerelda's crow's feet.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;man&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;He's an older peasant with big cotton swabs stuffed up his nose. Oh wait. Those are nose hairs. Grody.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;man/guy/peasant/old guy/old man&quot;''' (at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot;An older peasant sits silently in a boat with his line in the water.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;ned&quot;''' (at the wavy tree, when Naked Ned is peeking out) - &quot;A fairly naked man is peeking out behind that tree.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;openings&quot;''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;They're mysterious and out of reach. Like girls were to you in high school.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;painting&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;It's a painting of dogs playing 'Magic: The Nerdening.'&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;paper&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;It says, 'Note to self: Wave arms wildly!'&quot;<br /> ***(at your burninated cottage) - &quot;Hey, it's your old fireproof map to Peasantry.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pillow&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;If you sleep in that bed, you're NOT putting your head on that nasty pillow.&quot;<br /> ***(in the woman's cottage) - &quot;Swedish foam. Your favorite.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pot&quot;''' (in the inn after getting a room) - &quot;It's full of horse grease. I guess that sounds useful.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rock&quot;'''<br /> ***(by the stream) - &quot;The ages have worn this rock down. It is a rock of ages. Still a-rollin.&quot;<br /> ***(at the mud patch) - &quot;That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage before removing it) - &quot;There appears to be a loose stone towards the back of the cottage.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage after removing it) - &quot;Some jerk removed a loose stone from the back of the cottage.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rug&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Maybe that used to be a magic carpet. But it's sure a cat pee-stained carpet now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;sand&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake) - &quot;One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty two... One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty three... Drat! You lost count again.&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the pebbles) - &quot;Remember those pebbles on the beach? Man, those were good times.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;shelf&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Nothing but a bag of chicken feed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;sign&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the mountain pass) - &quot;What that sign there? That sign says 'Trogdor.'&quot;<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;If you can't read that sign, you need to quit playing this game.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;stump&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated trees) - &quot;NOT a good place to sit.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;You run out of ideas as to what to do next, and stare at the stump.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;target&quot;''' (at the archery range) - &quot;Hey, they had those same targets at Peasant Scout Camp!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated trees) - &quot;Severely burninated. They could probably use some salve.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown!&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Dude, and then the elf, like, totally climbed up it. It was awesome!&quot;<br /> ***(at the wavy tree) - &quot;It's weird and wavy.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well) - &quot;That's one orange tree alright.&quot;<br /> ***(at the yellow tree) - &quot;You're really hurtin' for puzzle solutions, huh?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trees&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You are an incredibly boring person.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Trogdor's lair, while he's asleep) - &quot;Holy crap! Trogdor's way bigger in person than he looks in most tapestries you've seen. All of the sudden, losing your cottage doesn't seem so bad anymore.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's lair, when he's awake) - &quot;Trogdor is looming menacingly over you with a tiny wee sword stuck in his belly. He looks like he's gonna kill you really soon.&quot;<br /> ***(at mountain pass) - I know it's labeled 'Trogdor,' but it's really just a sign, silly. I mean, attack it if you want...<br /> **'''&quot;water&quot;''' (by the stream) - Got a rock in it.<br /> **'''&quot;waterfall&quot;''' (at the waterfall) - &quot;Upon closer inspection, you discover it's not magical. That's just mist, not magic sparkles or anything.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Pretty average. You're not a big well person. You're more into bridges. It does have a cute little bucket though. Your dad liked buckets. Oh, and there's a metal crank too. Meemaw loved cranks.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;window&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;Check it out! There's an INN in there.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn) - &quot;Check it out! There's a Peasantry out there!&quot;<br /> <br /> ===M===<br /> *'''&quot;make friends with kerrek&quot;''' - &quot;Look, it didn't work for Strongbad [sic] and it's not gonna work for you either.&quot; (As seen in [[for kids]])<br /> *'''&quot;make wish&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;This isn't that kind of well. This is a plaguewater well.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;map&quot;''' (before you find the map; anywhere) - &quot;We are neither confirming nor denying the presence of a map in this game, but irridisregardless, you don't have one.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===N===<br /> <br /> ===O===<br /> *'''&quot;open _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - &quot;It's locked. With one o' them SCHLAGE deadbolts, too. Those things are hard core.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;How? There's no knob.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - &quot;It's already open. Since this is an adventure game we're gonna proffer you adventure yourself on in there.&quot;<br /> ***(at the inn, while it's closed) - &quot;It's locked fast!&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn, before getting a room) - &quot;'That's the pantry,' says the Innkeeper. 'Employees only.'&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage when it's open) - &quot;Yeah, totally! Except it's already open you moron.&quot;<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage after getting the robe and closing the drawer) - &quot;You already closed it, which was nice, and so we gave you some points. Let sleeping drawers lie.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===P===<br /> *'''&quot;party&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You are part of the Whig party. They are making gangrene-awareness their number one campaign priority.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;pet horse/poor gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Aww, that's sweet. Poor Gary tries in vain to bite your arm off.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;play game&quot;''' (at the archery range, before saying &quot;haldo&quot; to Dongolev) - &quot;The gallery's not open and you got no bow or arrows, Cupid.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;pull/push door&quot;''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;It doesn't budge, man.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;put _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Where you wanna toss em?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby in well/bucket&quot;''' (at the well, before getting the baby) - &quot;Hmmmm... A baby, eh? You check your sundial. Babies-R-Us is probably closed by now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby in well&quot;'''<br /> ***(after getting the sub) - &quot;Li'l tyke seems to enjoy the ride, but - thin or not - we've got a plot to advance here.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well with the baby) - &quot;Jeez man! At least put the poor little guy in the bucket! Give him a fighting chance!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles&quot;''' - &quot;Where you wanna toss em?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles in bucket&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the well, when you don't have them) - &quot;Find some pebbles first and you might have the makings of a good idea. About time.&quot;<br /> ***(after getting the maskus) - &quot;We've already been through this exercise and it went pretty well, ya?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles in well&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the well, when you have them) - &quot;Then it'd be tough to get them back. You never go ANYWHERE without your rocks&quot;<br /> ***(at the well, when you don't have them) - &quot;Riiight, right. Which ones?&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;[[pwd]]&quot;''' - Prints on-screen your location as a (fake) directory.<br /> <br /> ===Q===<br /> *'''&quot;quit&quot;''' - &quot;Well fine Boring Sanders! Hope you saved your game cause it is OVER between us!&quot; '''Warning:''' The game still quits.<br /> <br /> ===R===<br /> *'''&quot;ride horse/poor gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Naw, snapping horse spines just doesn't seem as cool as it did in high school.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;ring bell&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Instead of ringing or dinging, it just goes DUNG.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===S===<br /> *'''&quot;save&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;scare horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before getting the mask) - &quot;You tell Gary the &quot;THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!&quot; one but he doesn't act very scared. He's probably heard it before.&quot; '''or:''' &quot;You tell Gary about how much cholesterol is in hay and how his arteries are probably all black and clogged. He shrugs it off.&quot; '''or:''' &quot;You tell Gary the story about the kid who pops this big zit he has and all these baby spiders come out. It doesn't phase him.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;sit on stump&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Are you THAT bored?! Do some questing already!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;skip stones&quot;''' (at the west side of the lake) - &quot;You've always been terrible at skipping stones. And you're even worse at just plain throwing rocks in lakes. You decide to save yourself the embarrassment.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;sleep&quot;'''<br /> **(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;That's probably how the first baby got here. Forget it.&quot;<br /> **(in the inn while the man is there) - &quot;You probably want to talk to that stinky old guy over there about that.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;smell/sniff&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Smells like a computer game.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;swim&quot;'''<br /> **(at the rock in the river) - &quot;Peasants can't swim. Like, it's illegal.&quot;<br /> **(at the waterfall) - &quot;That waterfall would probably churn you into one of those weight-gain protein smoothies.&quot;<br /> **(at the west side of the lake) - &quot;Not in this game, Swimmer [[Dan]]! In this game, you drown.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===T===<br /> *'''&quot;talk&quot;'''<br /> **(at the archery range, while away from or behind the desk) - &quot;Why don't you saddle up to the front of the table there, cowboy?&quot;<br /> **(at the archery range, after beating the minigame) - &quot;Go away!&quot; says Dongolev. &quot;We're arguing about who's hotter,&quot; adds Mendelev.<br /> **(at wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- &quot;You startled him and he disappears!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;talk ____&quot;'''<br /> **'''(someone not in the screen, inanimate, or nonexistent; anywhere)''' - &quot;It's sad when you have to make up people to talk to.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage, before you get the baby) - &quot;You say some cute, stupid stuff and the baby just blows snot bubbles.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen when he's there) - &quot;Your attempts at conversation are met with horse grunts and tail flaps. Which is better than you do at conversation with most people.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (while inside the hay) - &quot;Not now! You'll blow your cover!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - &quot;Me llamo Julio,' you begin... It seems only to further anger the already temperamental Kerrek. That stupid 'Learn Kerrek in 3 Weeks' cassette did nothing for you!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lady&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage after she's gone) - &quot;You'd call out her name and let it ring through the empty room, enveloping you in sorrow, but you don't actually know her name.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;Naked Ned&quot;''' (at the wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- &quot;'Never speak of this meeting!' says the nudie and he disapperars.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;''' (at the wavy tree) - &quot;Trees can't talk but a breeze picks up and you swear the leaves whisper the words 'Naked Ned.' Weird.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;''' (in Trogdor's lair while he's asleep) - &quot;You yell some choice expletives at Trogdor but he doesn't wake up. There's a cool echo, though.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;well&quot;''' (At the well) &quot;You yell into the well and enjoy the echo. Keep in mind there are no stereos yet.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;this sucks&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;throw _____&quot;'''<br /> **(anything but the feed; at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot; 'That isn't gonna work for bait!' the old man screams, at a needlessly harsh volume.&quot;<br /> **(anything; when the fisherman is gone) - &quot;You already fed the fish. Let's get moving, here, people!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but the west side of the lake) - &quot;Hmmm. Maybe try someplace else.<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake before getting the baby) - &quot;I think you misread the walkthrough on GameFAQs. You gotta get the baby first.&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the soda) - &quot;Baby Dashing is a little waterlogged from the toss, and you read his soft gurgling to mean that there's no more soda left.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere without the baby) - &quot;You don't even have two babies to rub together.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the east side of the lake before getting the feed) - &quot;You have nothing with which to do that...with.&quot;<br /> ***(at the east side of the lake after throwing the feed) - &quot;You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!&quot; (The repetition is probably just a goof.)<br /> *'''&quot;try&quot;''' - (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Okay, fine. You try to cut off your hard-earned extremities. It doesn't work. You dead. Thanks for nothing.&quot; '''Warning:''' You die.<br /> *'''&quot;turn crank&quot;'''<br /> **(at the well, on the other side of the screen) - &quot;You got a short reach to match your short pants. Try standing closer to that crank.&quot;<br /> **(at well, after you get the maskus) - {first time} &quot;Down she goes! You could do this all day!&quot; {second time} &quot;The drama grips you, but the bucket is empty. On the bright side, you're getting a pretty sweet workout for your Deltoidus Rex muscles.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===U===<br /> *'''&quot;use/deploy baby&quot;'''<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, before getting the baby) - &quot;Swell idea, but is you ain't my baby? I.e. you ain't got one?&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, before moving the stone) - &quot;Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm.&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, after the baby has left) - &quot;Li'l P.B. has moved on, and the door seems to be open... I can't see why we'd go through this all over again.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;use pebbles&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;What do you propose to do with them? Discuss.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===V===<br /> <br /> ===W===<br /> *'''&quot;wake up trogdor&quot;''' - &quot;Troggie...&quot;, you murmur. &quot;Troggie, wake up it's time for Burnination school.&quot; He's not budging.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;wear _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (after getting the belt) - &quot;You're already wearing it. Too bad you smell like the trash barge off Peasant Isle.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;mask&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Not on this screen. You've got your image to think about. Actually, you might want to start deliberating on that right now.&quot;<br /> ***(in Poor Gary's glen after scaring him) - &quot;Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;robe&quot;'''<br /> ***(if the robe is not in your inventory) - &quot;You don't have anything but your 'Scalding Lake' t-shirt. And pants. Forgot to mention the pants.&quot;<br /> ***(if you are already wearing the robe) - &quot;You're already in the old skool robe. Represent.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;what the f&amp;mdash;&quot;''' ''([[Swears|uncensored version]])''&lt;!--actually &quot;what the fuck&quot;--&gt; (anywhere) - &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;where&quot;''' (anywhere) - Tells you where you are.<br /> *'''&quot;why&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;I wish I knew.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===X===<br /> <br /> ===Y===<br /> *&quot;'''Yes'''&quot; (to the Jhonka when he asks you about his riches)- &quot;'I KILL YOU!!' screams the Jhonka. ''{The Jhonka clubs you to death}'' Club or turkey leg, the jhonka sure just beat you senseless with whatever he was holding. You dead. Thanks for playing!&quot; '''Warning:''' Obviously, you will die.<br /> <br /> ===Z===<br /> <br /> ===Action Based===<br /> '''Warning:''' All of the below will kill you.<br /> <br /> *'''(Walk too close to the Kerrek)''' - ''{The Kerrek pounds your head into the ground}'' Your mom always told you not to take head poundings from strange Kerreks. And NOW looks what's happened. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Walk in the path of Dongelev's arrows)''' - ''{Dongolev shoots you in the head}'' That guy has no sense. He shot you. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Nice one, William Tell. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Leave the screen after putting the baby in the bucket)''' - Nice try. Ditch the baby at the bottom of the well, eh? Thought you'd be able to just walk away and it's nothing by mead and wenches from now on, huh? Well guess what? You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Hit by rock or pterodactyl when climbing the cliff)''' - ''{You fall to the ground and lie in a heap}'' Oops! You climbed real bad. You knew that you were AVOIDING the rocks, right? Not collecting them. Anyways, nice try. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Walk too close to Trogdor while he's asleep)''' - ''{Trogdor burninates you without waking up}'' Yow. Looks like you got a little too close. You dead. Maybe next time don't get too close.<br /> <br /> {{Peasant's Quest}}<br /> [[Category:Peasant's Quest]] [[Category:Lists]]</div> Mon, 18 Jun 2007 23:43:34 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Talk:Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses <p>GWR 2004:&#32;/* Unproductive Responses */ More responses!</p> <hr /> <div>[[Image:PQ_look_footprints.png|thumb|300px|&gt; LOOK FOOTPRINTS]]<br /> The [[Peasant's Quest]] game relies on text commands to complete objectives in the game. While there are programmed responses to all of the necessary actions in the game's storyline, the game contains many responses to unproductive commands as well.<br /> <br /> {| border=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;toc&quot;<br /> ! align=&quot;center&quot; | {{int:toc}}<br /> |-<br /> | align=&quot;left&quot; |<br /> *[[#Walkthrough Messages|1 Walkthrough Messages]]<br /> *[[#The Three Keepers' Messages|2 The Three Keepers' Messages]]<br /> **[[#The First Keeper|2.1 The First Keeper]]<br /> **[[#The Second Keeper|2.2 The Second Keeper]]<br /> **[[#The Third Keeper|2.3 The Third Keeper]]<br /> *[[#Area Descriptions|3 Area Descriptions]]<br /> *[[#Other Productive Responses|4 Other Productive Responses]]<br /> **[[#Constructive Conversations|4.1 Constructive Conversations]]<br /> **[[#Useful Documents|4.2 Useful Documents]]<br /> **[[#Helpful Hints|4.3 Helpful Hints]]<br /> *[[#Unproductive Responses|5 Unproductive Responses]]<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==Walkthrough Messages==<br /> {{spoiler}}<br /> The following are the messages displayed while completing the minimal number of tasks to achieve a perfect score. Note that different messages may be displayed for a game completed differently (e.g. if the Three Keepers' questions are answered), and that there are [[#Unproductive Responses|many other messages]] that may be displayed in response to inputs that are not constructive and/or not essential to completion of the game.<br /> <br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Points !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || YOU are Rather Dashing, a humble peasant living in the peasant kingdom of Peasantry.&lt;br&gt;You return home from a vacation on Scalding Lake only to find that TROGDOR THE BURNINATOR has burninated your thatched roof cottage along with all your goods and services.&lt;br&gt;With nothing left to lose, you swear to get revenge on the Wingaling Dragon in the name of burninated peasants everywhere. || 3B<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || You head east towards the mountain atop which TROGDOR lives. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || That's a nice looking lake. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || You can start playing in a second here. || 2D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || Okay, go for it. || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || get pebbles || You grab up a handful of fairly substantial pebbles. You make sure to get an even mix of sedentary, igneous, and, um, sureptitious rocks. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || put rocks in bucket || You plunk all your pebbles into the bucket. The weight causes it to descend to the bottom of the well with a quickness! || 1D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || turn crank || &quot;The crank seems to have loosened and you haul the bucket back up. What's this? Why there's a monster maskus in there! No doubt leftover from some pagan ritual. Silly pagans.&lt;br&gt;You grab up the scary moster maskus. Man, this thing could scare a horse! || 1D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || talk man || &quot;Oh, hi. I'm Mendelev,&quot; says the archer. &quot;I used to run a shooting range here with my brother Dongolev. But we don't talk so much anymore. I haven't seen him in a Jhonka's age. If you ever run into him, telll him I said 'haldo'.&lt;br&gt;&quot;You mean 'hello,'&quot; you ask?&lt;br&gt;&quot;Oh, um. No. Shut up. I said 'haldo' and I meant 'haldo.' Tell him I said 'haldo.'&quot;<br /> || 2D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || wear mask || You slip on the hideous monster maskus.&lt;br&gt;You scared the crap outta Poor Gary! He broke on through to the other side! || 1A<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || haldo || the archer stops arching and turns to you. &quot;My brother told you to tell me haldo? He must want to start the old business back up!&quot; || Hidden glen<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || get arrow || You pick out a really good one and yank it from the tree. Hooray! Now you have an arrow! || Hidden glen<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || get chicken feed || You used to eat this stuff like crazy when you were a kid and your parents weren't watching (which was all too often). You grab several large handfuls. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || the baby lady calls after you, &quot;Hey, you're on some quest right? Well, the little squirt here lost something of mine in the yard the other day. It's yours if you can find it.&quot; || Baby lady cottage<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (first bush) || You reach into the bush to snag some berries but they all just squish in your hand. || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (second bush) || Man, nothing in this bush but squished berries either. || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (third bush) || Too bad you don't want any squished berries, cuz hey: jackpot! || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 2 || get berries (fourth bush) || You reach into the bush to snag you some berries but instead find a Super Trinket! These things are awesome! You have a sneaking suspicion that SOMEONE in this game will need this thing. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || throw chicken feed || You toss the feed into the lake. You shed a tear for each one. &quot;Goodbye, Monty&quot; you sniff. &quot;Bye Delga, Rasputin. Farewell, Combledon!&quot; and so forth.&lt;br&gt;Woah! That crotchety old man just caught a pantload of fish! &quot;Now I can get back to running the inn,&quot; he says and rows to shore and hauls his boat out and cleans, guts, and filets all the fish and a buncha other stuff we didn't animate. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || give super trinket || &quot;That'll work,&quot; says Mendelev. Just hit 3 bullseyes and you win the SuperTime FunBow TM!&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;The ARROW KEYS aim left and right and the SPACE BAR operates the bow. You'll need to press it a couple of times to get a nice shot off but we don't give lessons so you're on your own.&quot; || 2C<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (get [X]=3-5 bullseyes) || &quot;Nice shootin! [X] hits.&quot; Says Mendelev. &quot;Here's your prize!&quot; You got the SuperTime FunBow TM! We don't sell ammo, so you'll have to find your own arrows for it. || 2C<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || shoot Kerrek with bow || Here goes nothin', Kid Icarus&lt;br&gt;ARROWED!! Nice shot. You smote the Kerrek! He lay there stinking.&lt;br&gt;A light rain heralds the washing free of the Kerrek's grip on the land. You're feeling pretty good, though, so the artless symbolism doesn't bug you. || 1B or 4C<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || get belt || You strap the Kerrek's belt buckle around your waist. Oh boy. You sure stink now. || 1B or 4C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || (walk into mud puddle) || Now you've done it! You're covered in sticky, albeit fine smelling, mud. Your &quot;Scalding Lake&quot; T-shirt is all soiled, too. You just washed it last harvest! || 2B<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || jump into hay || You've not known much better than a roll in the hay alone.&lt;br&gt;You leap in the hay like a two years old boy. Uh oh. The hay sticks to your muddy body. You're a walking hay bale! Just like that one guy from that one show! || 2A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (walk to Jhonka's cave) || Hey, nice disguise! The Jhonka doesn't seem to notice you. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 7 || steal riches || Oh OH! A stiff breeze blew all the hay and, surprisingly, the mud off of you! &quot;You take my riches?!&quot; growls the Jhonka. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || No || &quot;Okay. Lemme know if you see riches anywhere,&quot; he grunts and goes back to his hopping. You smooth talker, you. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give riches || &quot;My riches!!&quot; she screams and snatches up every last gold coin. &quot;Thanks, sucker! Here you go!&quot; she shoves the baby into your hands and bolts out the door.&lt;br&gt;You later learn that she does this all the time and is wanted throughout the countryside. Those riches probably WERE the Jhonka's and who knows whose baby that is. Well, it's yours now. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || This place is dead anyway. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || throw baby || Something tells you this is a good idea and you lob the little one into the lake.&lt;br&gt;You won't be arrested after all! The little guy has resurfaced safely, carrying an old bottle of soda. You take the soda and stow your swaddling buddy for takeoff. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || put baby in bucket || Okay, Father of the Year. You put a baby in a bucket and it quickly descends deep into the well. Yours is a black, black heart. || 1C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || turn crank || You haul the bucket back up. Lucky for you, the baby is still in it and appears to be unscathed. As a bonus, it looks like he found a Meatball sub down there. Score! You take the sub.&lt;br&gt;Oh, and the baby. You take the baby. || 1C<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give baby || &quot;Well lookit that little guy!&quot; says the Innkeeper. &quot;You want a treat, do ya? What do babies like?&quot; He fishes around in his pockets.&lt;br&gt;&quot;Um, how bout my medication!&quot; You grab the bottle of pills before he can force them on the baby. &quot;Hey, those were for him!&quot; || inn<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || move rock || You slide the stone over to reveal a little hole. If only you could cut off your arms, legs, and head you might be able to squeeze through! || 4A<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || put baby into the hole || Deploying Q-Baby...&lt;br&gt;Way to go, baby! It got the cottage door opened and headed off to a new life. He becomes Valedictorian of his graduating class, goes to Scalding Lake State, gets a degree in Advanced Peasantry and lands a job at Thatch-Pro: building better cottages for a better tomorrow.&lt;br&gt;You grow apart and the letters from him become fewer and fewer. He develops a severe mead problem and blames you for never being there. || 4A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open drawer || There's a vintage peasant robe in there! Just like grampa used to wear. || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || get robe || Yeah! Get that robe! || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || close drawer || Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint. || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || wear robe || You slip into the vintage robe. It smells like grampa's lap. Now you're lookin like a serious peasant. || anywhere<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || get room || &quot;Okay, youngster,&quot; says the decrepit old person. &quot;Just bed on down for the night and I'm sure I'll remember to collect the fee come morning.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Night falls like a bad power point presentation.&lt;br&gt;What an uncomfortable bed! You sleep for maybe 20 minutes before the extreme pain in your spine forces you to get up.|| Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || get pot || You reach way up to the top shelf.&lt;br&gt;Oh great! Now you can't see a thing and your head is covered in highly flammable horse grease. You better get out of here before that disgusting old man comes back. || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (exiting inn with pot on head) || Phew! You discard the big black pot and wipe the horse grease from your eyes. The hood of your robe is still covered in highly flammable horse grease, though. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || (walking under candle in burninated trees) || Whoa! The horse grease on your robe caught fire! You're a for-real peasant now. || 4E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (exiting 4E) || Man, screens sure get light fast around here. || 1E, 3E, or 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 7 || talk knight || Lookin good, Mr. Peasant. Good luck with ol' Beefy Arm up there.&lt;br&gt;This is it! You can finally get revenge on Trogdor! Nice work so far, stupid!&lt;br&gt;Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter.&lt;br&gt;Disk read error. Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter. || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || climb || With a new determination you dig your fingers into the cliff face and begin to haul yourself up the mountain like you were in a sports drink commercial&lt;br&gt;The mountain starts rumbling and big loose boulders start tumblin down. You'd best avoid thems. || Cliff base<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (successfully climbing the cliff without dying) || Nice jorb climbing the cliff. You have a real way with those arrow keys. || Cliffland heights<br /> |-id=&quot;bribery_route&quot;<br /> | 0 || (approached by first keeper) || Foolish peasant! How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!&lt;br&gt;You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!&lt;br&gt;You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.&lt;br&gt;And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.&lt;br&gt;Unless you happen to have something to eat on ya. Then we could forego my question. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give sandwich || No way! I was just kidding but you've really got a meatball sub. This rules! Here, you can have the Trog-Shield. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (approached by second keeper) || Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!&lt;br&gt;Or we could call it even if I had an ice cold drink right now. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give soda || Sweet deal, peasant. I underestimated you. Wear this Trog-Helmet with style. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (approached by third keeper) || Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!&lt;br&gt;That is, unless you've got something for my lower back. Man, it's killin me! || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give pills || Whoa! Where'd you find this stuff? I don't think this is even legal anymore. These babies'll definitely smote LUMBAGO the, um, LOWER BACKINATOR!!&lt;br&gt;The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (enter Trogdor's cave) || the beaded curtain slams shut behind you. There's no turning back now. || Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 7 || throw sword || This is it! You hurl the Trog-Sword with all your might at the sleeping Burninator.&lt;br&gt;Now you've done it! Trogdor's awake and the Trog-Sword doesn't seem to be doing a whole lot.&lt;br&gt;Your legs lock in fear, your eyes glaze over and you wish for some Depeasant adult undergarments. But you think you hear Trogdor whimpering!&lt;br&gt;Aw crap, that's you whimpering. At least your voice still works, I guess.|| Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 10 || talk trogdor || You scream that your name is Rather Dashing and that Trogdor burninated your cottage and you're here for revenge!&lt;br&gt;&quot;Sup, mortal,&quot; booms Trogdor. &quot;I really appreciate you making the effort to come all the way up here and vanquish me and all. But, I'm kinda indestructible.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Yeah, I can't be killed. I'm surprised nobody mentioned that to you. I'll admit though, you've gotten farther than anybody else ever has. I bet they'll make a statue or something in honor of you somewheres.&lt;br&gt;&quot;I can honestly say it'll be a pleasure and an honor to burninate you, Rather Dashing.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Aw that sure was nice of him!&lt;br&gt;Congratulations! You've won! No one can kill Trogdor but you came closer than anybody ever! Way to go! || Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Peasant's Quest&lt;br&gt;Written by Matt, Jonathan, and Mike || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Programmed by Jonathan || 1E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Graphics by Mike and Matt || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Quality Assurance Types:&lt;br&gt;Neal Stamper,&lt;br&gt;Don Chapman, and John Radle&lt;br&gt;Nice work on winning and everything.&lt;br&gt;THE END || 3B<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==The Three Keepers' Messages==<br /> There are several messages that the game may return while [[Rather Dashing]] is answering questions of [[The Three Keepers of Trogdor]]. The simplest way to complete this part of the game is to bribe the Keepers; the messages returned in this case are listed [[Peasant's Quest Responses#bribery_route|above]]. If Rather Dashing has not acquired the three items necessary to bribe the Keepers, however, he must answer a question from each of them. The messages returned while answering their questions are listed here.<br /> <br /> ===The First Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!&lt;br&gt;You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!&lt;br&gt;You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.&lt;br&gt;And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> ''The First Keeper will ask you one of the following questions (the correct answer is '''highlighted'''):''<br /> :Okay here goes. What did you win from the Archery game?<br /> :A. SuperBow FunTime TM<br /> :'''B. SuperTime FunBow TM'''<br /> :C. SuperFun BowTime TM<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Okay here goes. What does Mendelev have you tell Dongolev?<br /> :'''A. Haldo'''<br /> :B. Hallo<br /> :C. Allo<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Okay here goes. What is the only creature the Jhonka fears?<br /> :A. Poor Gary<br /> :B. The Baby<br /> :'''C. The Kerrek'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;Ah crap! You're right. Here, take this stupid Trog-Shield!&quot;<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> &quot;Sorry peasant! You fail! And as punishment, you will be turned into...RON CUMBERDALE!!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> You ask who the crap Ron Cumberdale is.<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> &quot;Just this kid from 4th grade that I really hated. But he was a BIG LOSER and HE SMELLED!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Well, you not exactly dead. But there's no way you could defeat Trogdor as Ron Cumberdale. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.<br /> <br /> ===The Second Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> :Listen careful now. Which one of these letters is the letter C?<br /> :A. B<br /> :'''B. C'''<br /> :C. A<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Listen careful now. How many berry bushes are there in the whole kingdom of Peasantry?<br /> :A. 4<br /> :'''B. 5'''<br /> :C. 6<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Listen careful now. What was the Innkeeper's pantry full of?<br /> :A. Epsom Salts<br /> :B. Epson Printers<br /> :'''C. Old Man Rub'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;That's right. Oh. This sucks. Guess I have to give you this Trog-Helmet. Dang.&quot;<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> &quot;WRONG! You are hereby cursed to write corny folk songs for the rest of eternity! The kind that only OLD PEOPLE LIKE!!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Well, you not exactly dead. But you certainly can't face Trogdor after writing 'Wheat Grows Sweet, But My Gal's Sweeter'. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.<br /> <br /> ===The Third Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> :Riddle me this. To whom did the robe you're wearing originally belong?<br /> :A. Nobleman Nicholas<br /> :B. Nina Neverawesome<br /> :'''C. Naked Ned'''<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Riddle me this. What color are the leaves on the tree that grows by the well?<br /> :'''A. Orange'''<br /> :B. Green<br /> :C. Yellow<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Riddle me this. Which way does the river that runs through Peasantry flow?<br /> :A. West to East<br /> :B. Northwest to South<br /> :'''C. Northeast to Southwest'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;Uh oh. You got it right. Trogdor's gonna kill me. Okay, you can have the Trog-Sword. Just promise not to kill any Trogdor's with it, kay?&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> You just stare at the Keeper blankly.<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> &quot;Okay fine! You can have the dumb thing anyways. Trogdor's through the beaded curtain over there.&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant.<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> YES! I was hoping you'd get mine wrong. No Trog-Sword for you. In fact, no skin for you either!<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Wow. You sure dead. You had a good run, though. Thanks for playin.<br /> <br /> ''Note: if you fail to provide &quot;A&quot;, &quot;B&quot;, or &quot;C&quot; as an answer to any of the above questions, the Keeper will ask the question again, replacing the first sentence with the following one:'' Peasant fool! Choose A, B, or C!<br /> <br /> ==Area Descriptions==<br /> By typing &quot;look&quot; in an area, you can receive a description of the surrounding area. Sometimes descriptions change as events come to pass.<br /> <br /> *'''Hidden Glen:''' Well, looky here! A hidden glen! You LOVE hidden glens. This one has some kinda archer in it.<br /> **''{after Dongelev leaves}'' You're in a hidden glen. There's a tree with zillions of arrows in it.<br /> *'''Poor Gary's Glen ([[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|A1]]):''' Hey! There's a rotten ol' horse over there!<br /> *'''Kerrek Tracks 1 (B1):''' There are large hoof prints in the grass here.<br /> **''{no Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the the [sic] grass here. And it smells like a public latrine.<br /> **''{living Kerrek}'' It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!<br /> **''{dead Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. There is a large Kerrek-shaped mound on the grass.<br /> **''{rotting Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Part of the ground looks just like a rotting &lt;!--no capital--&gt;kerrek.<br /> **''{skeletal Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Looks like someone left their spare bones here.<br /> *'''Old Well (C1):''' There's a really generic well here. Oh, and apparently it's autumn on this screen.<br /> *'''Yellow Tree (D1):''' Rushing river [[b/w]] yellow tree.<br /> *'''Waterfall (E1):''' There's a beautiful, magical waterfall cascading down the cliff side.<br /> *'''That Hay Bale (A2):''' Well, there's that big bale of hay over there.<br /> **''{when in hay disguise, anywhere}'' Right now, you see a bunch of hay.<br /> *'''That Mud Puddle (B2):''' There's a dried out mud puddle. It's all caked and cracked like the kind rock stars are always standing on.<br /> **''{when raining}'' Not much to see. 'Sides that big mud puddle.<br /> *'''Archery Range (C2):''' You've come across some kind of shooting gallery. There's a depressed looking archer at the desk there.<br /> *'''River and Stone (D2):''' Not much to see. River's got a rock in it.<br /> *'''Mountain Pass (E2):''' You've reached the mountain pass that leads to Trogdor's lair. A royal knight blocks the entrance.<br /> *'''Jhonka's Cave (A3):''' There's a little cave with a little door with a little note on it.<br /> **''{before getting riches, after Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.&lt;!--No space--&gt;A fat pile of riches lies next to him.<br /> **''{after the Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.<br /> *'''Your Burninated Cottage (B3):''' The remains of your thatched-roof cottage lie before you. You swear revenge against Trogdor.<br /> *'''Pebble Lake West (C3):''' There's definitely half a lake here with a sandy shore.<br /> *'''Pebble Lake East (D3):''' Why it's half a lake.<br /> **''{when the old man is fishing}'' Why it's half a lake.&lt;!--there's no space--&gt;With a fisherman in it. And he's fishing!<br /> *'''Outside Giant Inn (E3):''' There's a giant Inn here. It takes up, like, the entire screen.<br /> **'''Inside Giant Inn:''' What a dump! Only one bed and no minibar? The Innkeeper stands behind the desk and there's a door that's closed.<br /> **'''Inside Giant Inn:''' ''{at night}'' It's still dark out. The grimey old Innkeeper is gone and he left the pantry open.<br /> *'''Outside Mysterious Cottage: (A4)''' There's a run-of-the-mill non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.<br /> **'''Inside Mysterious Cottage:''' This place could use some serious sprucing of the 'up' variety. There's a dresser over there and a broom kind of silhouetted all mysterious like.<br /> *'''Wavy Tree (B4):''' Nothing special here except for that weird wavy tree.<br /> *'''Kerrek Tracks 2 (C4):''' ''{same as Kerrek Tracks 1}''<br /> *'''Outside Baby Lady Cottage (D4):''' There's a ranch-style thatched roof cottage here. There are also what appear to be four crunch berry bushes but you can't be sure.<br /> **'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. A lady rocks her baby in a chair. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.<br /> **'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' ''{after the baby lady leaves}'' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. There is one of those self-rocking chairs. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.<br /> *'''Burninated Trees (E4):''' A signal lantern of some kind hangs from a burninated tree.<br /> **''{at night}'' A burning signal lantern hangs from a severely burninated tree.<br /> *'''Cliff Base:''' You're at the base of a very climbable cliff that leads to Trogdor's lair. This cliff is huge - the kind where rocks start falling down the minute you try to climb it.<br /> *'''Cliffland Heights:''' Wow! It sure gets creepy fast around here! What with all the lightning and scary cave entrances.<br /> *'''Trogdor's Outer Sanctum:''' There are 3 openings with a little cliff in front of each. A beaded curtain hangs in a doorway on the far wall.<br /> *'''Trogdor's Posh Lair:''' You're in a giant cavern which houses a giant dragon. You didn't shrink or anything.<br /> <br /> ==Other Productive Responses==<br /> ===Constructive Conversations===<br /> There are some helpful residents of [[Peasantry]] who will provide you with tips about how to proceed in the game. While these conversations are not necessary for completion of the game, many are important to the game's storyline.<br /> <br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Character !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (at beginning of game) || You explain your situation to the knight. That Trogdor burninated your cottage and you've sworn revenge. You ask for passage up the mountain to settle your score. (Press RETURN to advance through conversations)&lt;br&gt;&quot;Hang on there, Trogdorkilla,&quot; says the knight. &quot;I can only allow actual peasants up the mountain pass to face Trogdor. And you CLEARLY are not one.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Look, Dragonheart...&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;You don't STINK like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;You don't DRESS like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;And you're definitely not ON FIRE like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Once you're those 3 things, come back and maybe we can talk.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Be sure to LOOK around lots. Talk to everyone you see and ASK ABOUT stuff. Type HELP if you get confused and INVENTORY to see your worldly stuff. Type SAVE or LOAD to save or load your game. Duh.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;belt_only&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt) || &quot;Frankly, Matthew Broderick, you sure stink like a peasant. But you still don't DRESS like a peasant and you're not ON FIRE like a peasant.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;robe_only&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Naked Ned's robe) || &quot;My dear Adso, you are dressed well but you don't STINK and you're not ON FIRE. Let us instead exercise our brains and try to solve this tantalizing conundrum.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;belt_and_robe&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt and Naked Ned's robe) || &quot;Almost there, Dirk the Daring. You stink like a peasant and you dress like one too. But you're clearly still not ON FIRE.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | [[Baby Lady &amp; Her Baby#The Baby Lady|The Baby Lady]] || talk lady || &quot;Hello, I'm-&quot; you start but the lady cuts you off&lt;br&gt;&quot;Okay, here's why I let you in here,&quot; she explains. &quot;My husband got squished by Trogdor. And to make matters worse, the insurance riches I got were stolen by Jhonka. Go steal them back for us and I'll give you something great.&quot; || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || talk man (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || You holler at the old man about Trogdor, but he just grumbles about the fish not biting. &quot;Must be using the wrong bait...&quot; he says, suggestively. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || talk man (after throwing chicken feed in lake) || &quot;If you're interested in staying the night, just type 'get a room.'&quot; || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || get a room (without robe)|| &quot;I only serve peasants here, fancypants!&quot; barks the old guy. &quot;Where's your robe?&quot; || Inside giant inn<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ===Useful Documents===<br /> There are a few notes and documents lying around Peasantry that help Rather Dashing on his quest.<br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Item !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | [[Peasant's Quest Items#map|Map]] || get map || You tuck it nice-like into your short, short pants. Type MAP at nearly any time to check the map. || 3B<br /> |-<br /> | Note on [[Old Man]]'s door || read note (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || It says, &quot;Gone Fishin&quot; just like that grog coozie your cousin got you. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | Note on [[Jhonka]]'s door || read note (before killing [[Kerrek]]) || It says &quot;scared of kerrek. go way. -j&quot; || 3A<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ===Helpful Hints===<br /> At times when you stray from the correct path in the game, the computer will respond with suggestions to help keep you on the right track.<br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! Action !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | After jumping in the haystack, go from 2A to any screen except 3A || Drat. The winds are heavy on all but a couple of key screens... looks like you're no longer in stealth mode. || 1A or 2B<br /> |-<br /> | Type any command while the pot of horse grease is on your head || You need to get out of there before that smelly octogenarian gets back. || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | Type any command other than &quot;Talk&quot; or &quot;Talk Trogdor&quot; after Trogdor wakes up || Trogdor is awake and a couple seconds from a Rather Dashing BBQ. Might as well say your peace with him. || Trogdor's Posh Lair<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==Unproductive Responses==<br /> [[Image:closedrawer.PNG|thumb|300px|&gt; CLOSE DRAWER]]<br /> There are many messages that the game gives you when you input commands that are not essential to the game's storyline. Here is a list of all that have been found. When more than one option is given, such as &quot;get/take _____&quot;, either word will produce the same response.<br /> <br /> <br /> {{compactTOC3}}<br /> {{clear}}<br /> ===#===<br /> <br /> ===A===<br /> *'''&quot;Ask about _____&quot;:'''<br /> **'''Baby:'''<br /> ***(to Baby Lady) - &quot;This little guy's all I got left. If only someone would steal back all our riches from that filthy Jhonka.&quot;<br /> **'''Fire:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Well, whenever I see peasants, they tend to be on fire. So get yourself on fire. I hear horse grease gives a nice, controlled burn.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;You need fire? A couple of trees over by the waterfall used to be on fire. But now there's like a signal lantern over there or something.&quot; / &quot;So should I ask that signal lantern?&quot; you ask. / &quot;I dunno man! Whattaya want from me?&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Trogdor just burned down some idiot peasant's cottage. You should ask him,&quot; says Mendelev. / &quot;Yeah, this jerk goes on vacation to some prancey lake and...&quot; / They see you staring daggers at them and turn bright red. / &quot;Oh. Nevermind,&quot; says Dongolev. &quot;Um, yeah. What's a fire?&quot; adds Mendelev.<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Burninator make fire! Barbecue all peasants!&quot;<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I've always preferred being on fire at night. Looks prettier and keeps the butterflies away.&quot;<br /> **'''Jhonka:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Since the Kerrek showed up, we don't see the Jhonka so much anymore. He lives in that little cave over in west Peasantry.&quot;<br /> ***(to Baby Lady) - &quot;That nasty thing killed my husband and took my riches!!&quot; / &quot;I thought Trogdor killed your husband,&quot; you interject. / &quot;Oh right. Yeah. That's what I said. Trogband killed my husbdor.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;The Kerrek is dead!&quot; he cries and hops around some more. You wonder how someone this primitive could have made that much dough.<br /> **'''Kerrek:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I call him Big Stinky. He's slow and stupid, but he'll pound you into milks meat without a second thought.&quot;<br /> **'''Naked Ned:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;That weirdo used to live over in west Peasantry but now I guess he just prances around the forest in his birthday suit.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;Don't talk about that pervert in front of the baby here.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;That guy creeps us out. In fact, shut up about him.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Filthy naked peasant! Stay away from my cave-hole!&quot; Who's he calling naked? HE'S the one wearing the string bikini.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;He used to be such a nice, clothed young man. Wonder what he's done with all his old clothes?&quot;<br /> **'''robe:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Peasants wear those brown robes. You know, with the rope around the waist. Get yourself one of those.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;You can't have mine, pervert! I'm not a nudist peasant like that weirdo over in west Peasantry!&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;We wouldn't know. We only wear archer clothes. You just can't arch real well in a robe, y'know?&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - ''see naked ned''<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I wear my robe hood-down so it's easier to trim my ear-hairs. If you need a robe, maybe try someone that's not using theirs.&quot;<br /> **'''smell:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I never met a peasant that didn't stink. If you wanna smell bad, get the Kerrek involved. That thing reeks!&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;What smells is junior here's drawers! I gotta quit feeding him so much horse!&quot; / &quot;And don't start asking me for his diapers, sicko!&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;That giant pig running around sure smells bad. Maybe talk to him.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Kerrek smell! Now Kerrek dead!&quot; screeches the Jhonka. So you can infer from this that all smells are dead? You always sucked at the analytical questions.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;Well, if you don't stink, maybe find something that does and wear it. Like a dead carcass or summat.&quot;<br /> **'''trogdor:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;If I had a gold coin for every whining peasant's cottage that freaking dragon burninated, I'd be rich as a jhonka.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;I hope you kill that stupid dragon. My 'Wives of Squished Peasants' support group would bake you a Poor Gary pie if you did.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Oh man, there was this one time when I came THIS close to having Trogdor ARROWED!&quot; says Dongolev. / &quot;Hey, shut up! That was me!&quot; interrupts Mendelev, &quot;YOU almost arrowed that blue baby!&quot; says Dongolev. [sic] / &quot;Did not!&quot; / &quot;Did so!&quot; / &quot;Did not!&quot; / (You see where this is going.)<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;All hail Burninator! Trogdor Number One! Beat Peasant Tech!&quot; says the grimy Jhonka.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;Are you talking about that young green boy that lives up the street? He's always tearing my roof off and eating my customers.&quot;<br /> **'''anything else:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I don't know anything about that, short pants.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;I dunno what you're talking about.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Either we don't know anything about that, or you're real boring.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Jhonka don't know nothing bout that!&quot;<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I don't know nothing about no whatever you just said.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere else) - &quot;Ask about what?&quot;<br /> : &lt;small&gt;* - You can only ask Mendelev and Dongolev when they're together.&lt;/small&gt;<br /> *'''&quot;attack sign&quot;''' (at the Mountain Pass) - &quot;I was being facetious, Mr. Smarty-short-pants. No sign attacking for you.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===B===<br /> *'''&quot;boo&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Scared me.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;break/kick/punch door&quot;''' (at Outside mysterious cottage) - &quot;Violence is not the answer.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;break sign&quot;''' (at Mountain Pass) - ''See &quot;attack sign&quot;''<br /> *'''&quot;break stump, sit on stump, etc.&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Are you THAT bored? Do some questing already!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;buy kerrek a cold one&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;The kerrek&lt;!--sic--&gt; is a teetotaller and is offended by your offer. You've really cheesed him off now.&quot; '''Warning:''' This speeds the Kerrek up, so be careful. This command was first seen in the email [[for kids]].<br /> <br /> ===C===<br /> *'''&quot;[[The Cheat|cheat]]&quot;''' (or any phrase involving &quot;cheat&quot;; anywhere) - &quot;Meh.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;climb _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;cliff&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere near the bottom of the cliff) - &quot;There aren't enough footholds and you don't have any carabeaners on you.&quot;<br /> ***(at the top of the cliff) - &quot;They don't show how the sports-drink people get down from the cliff. You've no idea how to start.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;Nope. It's too sheer.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fence&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;No, you have business to attend to here in Peasantry.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;More like you should walk through that gaping hole in it. Just an idea.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Not going to dignify that with a response.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in bucket&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Your butt is too big.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;No go. Your insurance doesn't cover that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but at the wavy tree or hidden glen) - &quot;But then your hands would get all sappy.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Naw, you'd probably figure out some way to kill yourself doing that.&quot;<br /> ***(at the wavy tree) - &quot;You don't climb wavy trees.&quot;<br /> ***(after getting a room in the inn) - &quot;Naw. That's dumb. Do better.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;close _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Already done. That was easy!&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - &quot;You can't. That baby really wrenched it open good.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;'''<br /> ***(without stealing the robe) - &quot;Right, right. Wouldn't want to leave the robes out where any old guy trying to beat an adventure game could take them.&quot;<br /> ***(when it's closed) - &quot;A riddle: What can be closed that is already closed? (hint: not this drawer)&quot;<br /> ***(after getting the robe) - &quot;Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;cut off arms, legs, and head&quot;''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Very funny. You have trouble cutting out coupons in the weekly 'Peasant Penny-Pincher' circular. I'd like to see you try.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===D===<br /> *'''&quot;[[dan]]&quot;''' (or any phrase involving Dan; anywhere): &quot;Dan's still okay. Got a place on Dekalb with Rick and his wife. Slimmed up a bit and looking towards the future.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;dance&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You'd rather just stand here and soak up the scene.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;die&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;That wasn't very smart. You dead.&quot; '''Warning:''' This kills you.<br /> *'''&quot;drink&quot;''' (or any object after &quot;drink&quot;; anywhere) - &quot;For simplicity's sake you are immune to hunger and thirst in this game. So you got that going for you./Which is nice.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;drop baby&quot;'''<br /> **(once you have baby) - &quot;Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm.&quot; '''or''' &quot;Quit tryin to ditch the baby!&quot;<br /> **(before you have baby) - &quot;You don't even have two babies to rub together.&quot;<br /> **(at the well) - &quot;Like where?&quot;<br /> <br /> ===E===<br /> <br /> ===F===<br /> *'''&quot;feed horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen before scaring him) - &quot;There's a good chance that horse has NEVER eaten. I doubt he'll start now.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===G===<br /> *'''&quot;get a room&quot;''' (when on fire) - &quot;\oard&lt;!-- Yes, it's really a backslash, not a B. That's why &quot;[sic]&quot; is there. --&gt; [sic] of Peasant Health says I can't serve any folk that's on fire. Nothing personal. Well, I mean, I don't like you much anyway.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;get/take/steal _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;(anything not listed and not relevant to the plot)&quot;''' - &quot;You probably WISH you could get that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;arrow&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the archery range) - &quot;They have 'RANGE' printed on them, so it would be kind of embarrassing to have to shoot around with them. Also, that guy over there is giving you the evil eye.&quot;<br /> ***(at the secret glen while Dongolev is there) - &quot;Something tells me now's not a good time.&quot; (you get the arrow anyway and Dongolev shoots you) &quot;It wasn't a good time. Hey, my mom's making peasant-kabobs for dinner TOO! Right. Anyway. You dead. Thanks for playing, and try not to die.&quot; '''Warning:''' As you can see, this kills you.<br /> ***(at the secret glen after getting the first arrow OR at the secret glen after getting the second arrow after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;You're pretty much all set on the arrow front. They're kinda cool, though.&quot;<br /> ***(at the secret glen after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;You grab yet another arrow from the tree hoping to get some bonus points.&quot;<br /> ***(at Kerrek's body after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;Eww! No way. That thing's got some serious Kerrek-Brand kooties on it now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage, while she has the baby) - &quot;'You want to be a part of this family? GO GET US THOSE RICHES!!' she shrieks.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bell&quot;''' (in the inn, after getting a room) - &quot;You can't. It looks like it's been somehow olded&lt;!-- sic --&gt; to the desk.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (after getting it) - &quot;You totally got the belt already, as evidenced by the rancid cloud of odor that follows you like a shadow.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;berries&quot;'''<br /> ***(the same bush twice outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You already searched that bush. It was okay. Nothing to write home about... oh, wait... you don't have a home. My b.&quot;<br /> ***(after you've gotten the trinket, outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You've searched your fill of berry bushes for this game. If you want to search more press 'reload' on the browser&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake) - &quot;NO MAN! JEEZ!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bone/skull&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff) - &quot;Eww. No. Grody. You're grody. No. Eww.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;broom&quot;''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;No, no. The broom is in the foreground and you can't take things from the foreground. You don't see me all typing 'get browser window', do you?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bucket&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;You can't, it's tied to a rope and you're terrible with knots.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;candle&quot;''' (at night, in the inn) - &quot;It seems like you should be able to do that, doesn't it? Sorry. No dice.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;chair&quot;''' <br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is there) - &quot;No. There's a big bag of something in it. Oh, that's the baby lady.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is gone) - &quot;No. Too big for pants.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;club&quot;''' (outside the Jhonka's cottage when he's out) - &quot;Now there's a surefire way to get yourself killed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;You get a hernia from lifting it. -2 Movement points, -10 Constitution. Don't do that again.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage after stealing feed) - &quot;You don't need anymore. It might give rise to old temptations.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fire&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, before getting the horse grease) - &quot;You're just not flammable enough.&quot;<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting the horse grease) - &quot;You don't need to get IT. Just let IT get YOU.&quot;<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting on fire) - &quot;You're already on fire! What? You want to be MORE on fire?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;You nasty. Besides, they wouldn't survive a minute away from that horse's butt.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;gold/money&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Um, that's chicken feed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;grease&quot;''' (inside the inn, at night, when you already got the grease) - &quot;You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;hay&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;Who do you think you are? Some kind of Thy Dungeonman? You don't need any hay.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;There's a huge bale a couple of screens over from here. Why bother stealing?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain whether or not he's still alive) - &quot;Well, he does smell real bad. But he's a bit too big to fit in your pocket.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lantern&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;Better not. There's an engraved plaque on it that says, &quot;Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of 'You Die'.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;mud&quot;'''<br /> ***(when it's wet, before you fall in) - &quot;You can't get the mud so much. More like the mud'll get you.&quot;<br /> ***(when it's wet, after you fall in) - &quot;You've already gotten an heapin' helpin' all up on yo'self.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;map&quot;''' (at your cottage, after you've gotten it) - &quot;Yeah but like you already map the took, guy!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;note&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Jhonka's cave) - &quot;It's been magically sealed to the door with a wondrously whimsical spell.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;What is it with you and notes?! No!!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;old man rub&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;You disgust me.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;paper&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Naw, it might be important to that wrinkly old loon.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;painting&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Weird. It's actually painted right into the wall. Like, the frame and everything.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles&quot;'''<br /> ***(after you've gotten them) - &quot;Come now. We've been through this jaunty little bit before. You took them from the half lake screen with the cattail and stuff.&quot;<br /> ***(from the opposite side of where you get the pebbles) &quot;You do your best Mr. Fantastic impression, but you can't reach them from here.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;plague&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;Wrong game, Mispeller Jones. Try the little button to the left of the 'W'.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;plaque&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;You have enough of that on your browning, rotten peasant teeth already.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pillow&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;Not a chance. There's even more questionable stains on that pillow than there are on that rug.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You don't have anywhere to use it and it is rather bulky, so you leave it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pot&quot;''' (in the inn, after you already have horse grease) - &quot;You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;robe&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, after you've gotten it) - &quot;You still remember the time when you took them. Oh, the times have changed ... but the robes?&quot;<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, when the drawer is closed) - &quot;You reach into the closed drawer and nearly break your hand slamming it. Just like a bird on a pane of glass minus the blamelessness.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rock&quot;'''<br /> ***(by the stream) - &quot;For what? Now you're just making up puzzles to solve.&quot;<br /> ***(at the mud puddle) - &quot;That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me.&quot;<br /> ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage, after moving it) - &quot;You've already moved the stone out of the way to reveal a less-than peasant-sized hole.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rug&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;You're not touching that thing. Too many questionable stains on it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;stuff/food&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Which foodstuffs?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;target&quot;''' (at the archery range) - &quot;No. Those will fall on you and more than likely kill you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;give _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;(anything not listed)&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;We don't need that mess.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere except for the woman's cottage) - &quot;You don't need to give that now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn, before you get the baby) - &quot;You have no baby nor any immediate prospects.&quot;<br /> ***(in the inn, when you already have the pills) - &quot;You already milked that fogey for all the pills he's worth.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;riches&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, before getting the riches) - &quot;'That's right,' she whines. 'Find my riches, and give here.'&quot;<br /> ***(outside Jhonka's cave, before jumping in hay) - &quot;The Jhonka will see you! And rip out your jugular with his teeth or something equally horrible.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, after giving the riches) - &quot;We did that already, and it was sort of humiliating.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trinket&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot; 'Did you find that thing in my yard?' she asks. 'I got that thing free in a box of Plaguezees. I need some FOR REAL riches!' &quot;<br /> ***(inside woman's cottage after giving trinket to Mendelev) - &quot;'Why are you holding your hand out?' she asks. 'I told you I need riches, so I can't give em away.' You don't have a trinket to give, you realize.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;go _____&quot;''' (anything or letter can be put in here) - &quot;Use the arrow keys, pal. Just like a joypad only more like your day job.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===H===<br /> *'''&quot;haldo&quot;'''<br /> **(anywhere but in the secret glade, before or after talking to Mendelev) - &quot;That's totally not Dongolev.&quot;<br /> **(in the secret glade before talking to Mendelev) - &quot;What'd you read that in PQ Stragedy [sic] Guide? Go talk to my brother first.&quot;<br /> **(in the secret glade after Dongolev leaves) - &quot;Haldo?.' you call out... 'Hadloooooo' [sic] &quot;<br /> **(at the archery Range after Dongolev has returned) - &quot;HALDO!!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;hide in hay&quot;''' (at the hay bale, before getting in) - &quot;Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;hug tree&quot;''' (at the hay bale) - &quot;To every thing, turn, turn, turn. There is a season, turn, turn, turn.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===I===<br /> <br /> ===J===<br /> *'''&quot;jump in hay&quot;''' (by the hay bale, when you're not muddy) - &quot;Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;jump in hay&quot;''' (near the hay bale, when you're muddy but not right next to it) - &quot;Who do you think you are, MJ? Try from a little closer.&quot;<br /> ===K===<br /> *'''&quot;kick/kill/punch poor gary&quot;'''<br /> **(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;You attempt to cause Poor Gary harm for no good reason other than you kinda suck at this game. {Poor Gary kicks you} WOW! For a decrepit old horse, Poor Gary still packs a mean whallop. You dead. Thanks for playing.&quot; '''Warning:''' Needless to say, this kills you.<br /> **(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;kill _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Those flies and that horse's butt have a symbiotic relationship. You have no right to disrupt that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (after he's outside) - &quot;No way! Jhonka's are born scrappers. He may be little, but he'll crawl ya.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is present and you do not have the bow and arrow) - &quot;With what?! You got no weapons except your butter-knife wit.&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the arrow, but not the bow) - &quot;With what?! You gonna throw that arrow at him?&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the bow, but not the arrow) - &quot;With what?! You got no arrow, fool!&quot;<br /> ***(after the Kerrek is dead) - &quot;Yeah. You smote the Kerrek. You deserve a trophy full of Mutton-ums.&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is not there) - &quot;Good idea. But you kinda need the actual Kerrek to be here for that to work.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;''' (while Trogdor's asleep, in his lair) - &quot;Like how?&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;knock&quot;'''<br /> **(at the woman's cottage) - &quot; 'It's open,' says a female voice from inside. Um, it's NOT open, but you get her drift.&quot;<br /> **(at the woman's cottage, after she leaves) - No one answers. That crazy lady took off. How ever will you get past this closed door now?<br /> **(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - &quot;A gravelly voice inside yells, 'JUST US CHICKENS' '''or:''' 'NO FOR RENT' '''or:''' 'I GIVE LAST YEAR!' '''or:''' 'GAVE AT OFFICE' '''or:''' 'GO WAY!'&quot;<br /> **(at the inn, while it's closed) - &quot;No answer.&quot;<br /> **(at the inn, after it's been opened) - &quot;Just open it, man!&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;You could knock until your knuckles bleed. Nobody's home.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;Knock until knuckles bleed&quot;'''<br /> **(at Naked Ned's cottage)-&quot;You knock for about 4 hours until your knuckles are raw and bloody. That was fun!&quot;<br /> **(type it again at Naked Ned's cottage)-&quot;You done that already. A great time was had by all.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===L===<br /> *'''&quot;light lantern&quot;'''<br /> **(at the burninated trees before it is lit) - &quot;With what? Your red-hot intellect?&quot;<br /> **(at the burninated trees after it is lit) - &quot;Already lit, moron.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;load&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;look _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''(at anything, while hiding inside the bale of hay)''' - &quot;Right now, you see a bunch of hay.&quot;<br /> **'''(at something previously in your inventory but now gone)''' - &quot;You used to have one, before the great item blight of 402. Check your INVENTORY to read about it.&quot; <br /> **'''(at something currently in your inventory)''' - &quot;You've totally got one of those! Check your INVENTORY to give'r a serious looksee.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;arrow&quot;''' (at the hidden glen) - &quot;Somebody call a tree doctor. Them puppies are stuck in there like a, um, er ... stuck pig.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage while she has the baby) - &quot;Peasant babies are pretty freaking adorable. This little guy's no exception.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bed&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Is that just a fitted sheet over a slab of concrete?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bell&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Tis broked.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;Yecch. I wouldn't touch that unless it was, like, an important quest item or something.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;berries&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake) &quot;Shut up.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Crunch berries maybe.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;boat/dinghy&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot;Keep your eyes off my dinghy!&quot; <br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake after he is gone) - &quot;It was loaned out to the [[Fishing Challenge '91|Fishing Challenge videogame]].&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bone/skeleton/skull&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff for the bone and skull and in Trogdor's outer sanctum for the skeleton) - &quot;You can't be sure but you think those are dead person bones.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bush&quot;''' (at the west side of the lake) - &quot;Don't worry about that bush. Yeah, there's red berries on it but never you mind.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bushes&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You suspect they might be crunch berry bushes.&quot;<br /> ***(in the hidden glen) - &quot;There's some thick 'ol bushes up in this hidden glen.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;candle&quot;''' (in the inn after getting a room) - &quot;That candle's not at all on fire.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;cave&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the Jhonka's cave) - &quot;Just a little cave. Calm down.&quot;<br /> ***(at the top of the cliff) - &quot;The cave entrance beckons to you like a hot mutton sandwich might.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;chair&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;One of those self-rocking kind. Not bad for a brown-collar peasant-type. Must be trickle-down in action.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;club/turkey leg&quot;''' (at the Jhonka's cave when he's outside) - &quot;Turkey leg or no, it looks like the Jhonka's been gnawing on it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;cottage&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the yellow tree) - &quot;You see a cottage in the distance. You hold your fingers up to one eye and pretend to squash it.&quot;<br /> ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;A run-of-the-mill, non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You had a cottage once. A lot like this one. *sniff* Trogdor will pay!&quot;<br /> ***(at your burninated cottage) - &quot;All your baubles and trinkets, your flasks and scrolls, your goblets and staffs! BURNINATED!!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;crank&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the well before putting pebbles in the bucket) - &quot;It looks rusted in place.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well after putting pebbles in the bucket) - &quot;That is a bonafide crank. It seems to work now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;curtain/beads&quot;''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;That thing's awesome. You always wanted one for your dorm room but your roommate was a total drag and said no.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;desk&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the archery range) - &quot;It says 'archery' on it. My wife's drunk.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn) - &quot;There's a broken bell and a piece of parchment on there.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;Just a door. A door with a note on it.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;A wicked beaded curtain hangs in the doorway.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Listen to you, &quot;look door&quot; What kinda gaming is that? It's a door and it's closed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Cool Ranch. Your old favorite.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fence&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;A particularly rickety peasant-issue fence. Trogdor uses bits of these as toothpicks.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;It's got a big ol' hole in it. For walking through.&quot;<br /> ***(by haystack/Jhonka's cottage/Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;A standard peasant fence. Trogdor makes milk's meat outta these things.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Wow! There's a hole in it on THIS side too!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;A cloud of buttflies fly around the horse's butt.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;footprints/tracks&quot;''' (when the Kerrek is present) - &quot;It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;footprints/tracks&quot;''' (when the Kerrek is not present) - &quot;If you weren't a simpleton you might think these were Kerrek prints. But since you are a simpleton, you just go, 'Yay! Piggies!' &quot;<br /> **'''&quot;ground&quot;''' - &quot;Hey, it's your old fireproof map of Peasantry.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;hay&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;It reminds you of a warm, safe place where as a child you'd hide.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Hay is for horses!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;hole&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, before deploying baby) - &quot;You peer into the tiny opening. The cottage appears to be empty.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after deploying baby) - &quot;There is no baby here, but there's an open door on the other side of the room. If you could only get to it somehow!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;This bag o' bones looks like he's headed for the glue factory. He's got the name 'Poor Gary' branded onto his hide.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in hay&quot;''' (at the hay bale) - &quot;You search and search through the haystack. Nope. No needles.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;It's dark and welly in there. Smell like stank too.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;inn&quot;''' (outside the inn) - &quot;Looks okay from out here. But do they have a free breakfast buffet?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (at the Jhonka's cottage when he's outside) - &quot;The Jhonka is gray and grody. He's got a cromagnon forehead and jaw with a pair of wicked incisors. He sports an old loin-cheese cloth and carries either a big club or one of those roasted turkey legs you got at the Ren Fest.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - &quot;It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!&quot;<br /> ***(while he's decomposing) - &quot;He dead. You didn't think he could have smelled any worse? Well, guess what: He smells worse.&quot;<br /> ***(when he's all bones) - &quot;He dead. He wasn't fat, he was just big boned! Poor pig-man.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;knight/man/dude/guy&quot;''' (at the mountain pass) - &quot;He looks way cooler than you.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lady/woman&quot;''' <br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she's still there) - &quot;Typical pasty peasant woman, overbearing and judgemental&lt;!-- sic --&gt;. Obsessed with goods and land.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, after she's gone) - &quot;I can't believe you thought you had a chance with her!/Dork!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lake&quot;''' (at the fisherman's lake) - &quot;Why it's half a lake.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;lake/water&quot;''' (at the lake with pebbles) - &quot;It extends onto the next screen and has a sandy shore.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;lantern&quot;'''<br /> ***(while unlit; at the burninated trees) - &quot;It's unlit at the moment. That fancy pants royal knight probably lights it on nights when Troggie's on the prowl.&quot;<br /> ***(while lit; at the burninated trees) - &quot;It's lit! Musta been a Trogdor sighting tonight.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lightning&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff) - &quot;Scary. Like Auntie Gerelda's crow's feet.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;man&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;He's an older peasant with big cotton swabs stuffed up his nose. Oh wait. Those are nose hairs. Grody.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;man/guy/peasant/old guy/old man&quot;''' (at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot;An older peasant sits silently in a boat with his line in the water.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;ned&quot;''' (at the wavy tree, when Naked Ned is peeking out) - &quot;A fairly naked man is peeking out behind that tree.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;openings&quot;''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;They're mysterious and out of reach. Like girls were to you in high school.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;painting&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;It's a painting of dogs playing 'Magic: The Nerdening.'&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;paper&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;It says, 'Note to self: Wave arms wildly!'&quot;<br /> ***(at your burninated cottage) - &quot;Hey, it's your old fireproof map to Peasantry.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pillow&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;If you sleep in that bed, you're NOT putting your head on that nasty pillow.&quot;<br /> ***(in the woman's cottage) - &quot;Swedish foam. Your favorite.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pot&quot;''' (in the inn after getting a room) - &quot;It's full of horse grease. I guess that sounds useful.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rock&quot;'''<br /> ***(by the stream) - &quot;The ages have worn this rock down. It is a rock of ages. Still a-rollin.&quot;<br /> ***(at the mud patch) - &quot;That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage before removing it) - &quot;There appears to be a loose stone towards the back of the cottage.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage after removing it) - &quot;Some jerk removed a loose stone from the back of the cottage.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rug&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Maybe that used to be a magic carpet. But it's sure a cat pee-stained carpet now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;sand&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake) - &quot;One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty two... One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty three... Drat! You lost count again.&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the pebbles) - &quot;Remember those pebbles on the beach? Man, those were good times.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;shelf&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Nothing but a bag of chicken feed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;sign&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the mountain pass) - &quot;What that sign there? That sign says 'Trogdor.'&quot;<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;If you can't read that sign, you need to quit playing this game.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;stump&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated trees) - &quot;NOT a good place to sit.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;You run out of ideas as to what to do next, and stare at the stump.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;target&quot;''' (at the archery range) - &quot;Hey, they had those same targets at Peasant Scout Camp!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated trees) - &quot;Severely burninated. They could probably use some salve.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown!&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Dude, and then the elf, like, totally climbed up it. It was awesome!&quot;<br /> ***(at the wavy tree) - &quot;It's weird and wavy.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well) - &quot;That's one orange tree alright.&quot;<br /> ***(at the yellow tree) - &quot;You're really hurtin' for puzzle solutions, huh?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trees&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You are an incredibly boring person.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Trogdor's lair, while he's asleep) - &quot;Holy crap! Trogdor's way bigger in person than he looks in most tapestries you've seen. All of the sudden, losing your cottage doesn't seem so bad anymore.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's lair, when he's awake) - &quot;Trogdor is looming menacingly over you with a tiny wee sword stuck in his belly. He looks like he's gonna kill you really soon.&quot;<br /> ***(at mountain pass) - I know it's labeled 'Trogdor,' but it's really just a sign, silly. I mean, attack it if you want...<br /> **'''&quot;water&quot;''' (by the stream) - Got a rock in it.<br /> **'''&quot;waterfall&quot;''' (at the waterfall) - &quot;Upon closer inspection, you discover it's not magical. That's just mist, not magic sparkles or anything.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Pretty average. You're not a big well person. You're more into bridges. It does have a cute little bucket though. Your dad liked buckets. Oh, and there's a metal crank too. Meemaw loved cranks.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;window&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;Check it out! There's an INN in there.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn) - &quot;Check it out! There's a Peasantry out there!&quot;<br /> <br /> ===M===<br /> *'''&quot;make friends with kerrek&quot;''' - &quot;Look, it didn't work for Strongbad [sic] and it's not gonna work for you either.&quot; (As seen in [[for kids]])<br /> *'''&quot;make wish&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;This isn't that kind of well. This is a plaguewater well.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;map&quot;''' (before you find the map; anywhere) - &quot;We are neither confirming nor denying the presence of a map in this game, but irridisregardless, you don't have one.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===N===<br /> <br /> ===O===<br /> *'''&quot;open _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - &quot;It's locked. With one o' them SCHLAGE deadbolts, too. Those things are hard core.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;How? There's no knob.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - &quot;It's already open. Since this is an adventure game we're gonna proffer you adventure yourself on in there.&quot;<br /> ***(at the inn, while it's closed) - &quot;It's locked fast!&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn, before getting a room) - &quot;'That's the pantry,' says the Innkeeper. 'Employees only.'&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage when it's open) - &quot;Yeah, totally! Except it's already open you moron.&quot;<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage after getting the robe and closing the drawer) - &quot;You already closed it, which was nice, and so we gave you some points. Let sleeping drawers lie.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===P===<br /> *'''&quot;party&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You are part of the Whig party. They are making gangrene-awareness their number one campaign priority.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;pet horse/poor gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Aww, that's sweet. Poor Gary tries in vain to bite your arm off.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;play game&quot;''' (at the archery range, before saying &quot;haldo&quot; to Dongolev) - &quot;The gallery's not open and you got no bow or arrows, Cupid.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;pull/push door&quot;''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;It doesn't budge, man.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;put _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Where you wanna toss em?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby in well/bucket&quot;''' (at the well, before getting the baby) - &quot;Hmmmm... A baby, eh? You check your sundial. Babies-R-Us is probably closed by now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby in well&quot;'''<br /> ***(after getting the sub) - &quot;Li'l tyke seems to enjoy the ride, but - thin or not - we've got a plot to advance here.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well with the baby) - &quot;Jeez man! At least put the poor little guy in the bucket! Give him a fighting chance!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles&quot;''' - &quot;Where you wanna toss em?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles in bucket&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the well, when you don't have them) - &quot;Find some pebbles first and you might have the makings of a good idea. About time.&quot;<br /> ***(after getting the maskus) - &quot;We've already been through this exercise and it went pretty well, ya?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles in well&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the well, when you have them) - &quot;Then it'd be tough to get them back. You never go ANYWHERE without your rocks&quot;<br /> ***(at the well, when you don't have them) - &quot;Riiight, right. Which ones?&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;[[pwd]]&quot;''' - Prints on-screen your location as a (fake) directory.<br /> <br /> ===Q===<br /> *'''&quot;quit&quot;''' - &quot;Well fine Boring Sanders! Hope you saved your game cause it is OVER between us!&quot; '''Warning:''' The game still quits.<br /> <br /> ===R===<br /> *'''&quot;ride horse/poor gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Naw, snapping horse spines just doesn't seem as cool as it did in high school.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;ring bell&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Instead of ringing or dinging, it just goes DUNG.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===S===<br /> *'''&quot;save&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;scare horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before getting the mask) - &quot;You tell Gary the &quot;THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!&quot; one but he doesn't act very scared. He's probably heard it before.&quot; '''or:''' &quot;You tell Gary about how much cholesterol is in hay and how his arteries are probably all black and clogged. He shrugs it off.&quot; '''or:''' &quot;You tell Gary the story about the kid who pops this big zit he has and all these baby spiders come out. It doesn't phase him.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;sit on stump&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Are you THAT bored?! Do some questing already!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;skip stones&quot;''' (at the west side of the lake) - &quot;You've always been terrible at skipping stones. And you're even worse at just plain throwing rocks in lakes. You decide to save yourself the embarrassment.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;sleep&quot;'''<br /> **(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;That's probably how the first baby got here. Forget it.&quot;<br /> **(in the inn while the man is there) - &quot;You probably want to talk to that stinky old guy over there about that.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;smell/sniff&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Smells like a computer game.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;swim&quot;'''<br /> **(at the rock in the river) - &quot;Peasants can't swim. Like, it's illegal.&quot;<br /> **(at the waterfall) - &quot;That waterfall would probably churn you into one of those weight-gain protein smoothies.&quot;<br /> **(at the west side of the lake) - &quot;Not in this game, Swimmer [[Dan]]! In this game, you drown.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===T===<br /> *'''&quot;talk&quot;'''<br /> **(at the archery range, while away from or behind the desk) - &quot;Why don't you saddle up to the front of the table there, cowboy?&quot;<br /> **(at the archery range, after beating the minigame) - &quot;Go away!&quot; says Dongolev. &quot;We're arguing about who's hotter,&quot; adds Mendelev.<br /> **(at wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- &quot;You startled him and he disappears!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;talk ____&quot;'''<br /> **'''(someone not in the screen, inanimate, or nonexistent; anywhere)''' - &quot;It's sad when you have to make up people to talk to.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage, before you get the baby) - &quot;You say some cute, stupid stuff and the baby just blows snot bubbles.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen when he's there) - &quot;Your attempts at conversation are met with horse grunts and tail flaps. Which is better than you do at conversation with most people.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (while inside the hay) - &quot;Not now! You'll blow your cover!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - &quot;Me llamo Julio,' you begin... It seems only to further anger the already temperamental Kerrek. That stupid 'Learn Kerrek in 3 Weeks' cassette did nothing for you!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lady&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage after she's gone) - &quot;You'd call out her name and let it ring through the empty room, enveloping you in sorrow, but you don't actually know her name.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;Naked Ned&quot;''' (at the wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- &quot;'Never speak of this meeting!' says the nudie and he disapperars.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;''' (at the wavy tree) - &quot;Trees can't talk but a breeze picks up and you swear the leaves whisper the words 'Naked Ned.' Weird.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;''' (in Trogdor's lair while he's asleep) - &quot;You yell some choice expletives at Trogdor but he doesn't wake up. There's a cool echo, though.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;well&quot;''' (At the well) &quot;You yell into the well and enjoy the echo. Keep in mind there are no stereos yet.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;this sucks&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;throw _____&quot;'''<br /> **(anything but the feed; at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot; 'That isn't gonna work for bait!' the old man screams, at a needlessly harsh volume.&quot;<br /> **(anything; when the fisherman is gone) - &quot;You already fed the fish. Let's get moving, here, people!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but the west side of the lake) - &quot;Hmmm. Maybe try someplace else.<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake before getting the baby) - &quot;I think you misread the walkthrough on GameFAQs. You gotta get the baby first.&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the soda) - &quot;Baby Dashing is a little waterlogged from the toss, and you read his soft gurgling to mean that there's no more soda left.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere without the baby) - &quot;You don't even have two babies to rub together.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the east side of the lake before getting the feed) - &quot;You have nothing with which to do that...with.&quot;<br /> ***(at the east side of the lake after throwing the feed) - &quot;You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!&quot; (The repetition is probably just a goof.)<br /> *'''&quot;try&quot;''' - (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Okay, fine. You try to cut off your hard-earned extremities. It doesn't work. You dead. Thanks for nothing.&quot; '''Warning:''' You die.<br /> *'''&quot;turn crank&quot;'''<br /> **(at the well, on the other side of the screen) - &quot;You got a short reach to match your short pants. Try standing closer to that crank.&quot;<br /> **(at well, after you get the maskus) - {first time} &quot;Down she goes! You could do this all day!&quot; {second time} &quot;The drama grips you, but the bucket is empty. On the bright side, you're getting a pretty sweet workout for your Deltoidus Rex muscles.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===U===<br /> *'''&quot;use/deploy baby&quot;'''<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, before getting the baby) - &quot;Swell idea, but is you ain't my baby? I.e. you ain't got one?&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, before moving the stone) - &quot;Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm.&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, after the baby has left) - &quot;Li'l P.B. has moved on, and the door seems to be open... I can't see why we'd go through this all over again.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;use pebbles&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;What do you propose to do with them? Discuss.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===V===<br /> <br /> ===W===<br /> *'''&quot;wake up trogdor&quot;''' - &quot;Troggie...&quot;, you murmur. &quot;Troggie, wake up it's time for Burnination school.&quot; He's not budging.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;wear _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (after getting the belt) - &quot;You're already wearing it. Too bad you smell like the trash barge off Peasant Isle.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;mask&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Not on this screen. You've got your image to think about. Actually, you might want to start deliberating on that right now.&quot;<br /> ***(in Poor Gary's glen after scaring him) - &quot;Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;robe&quot;'''<br /> ***(if the robe is not in your inventory) - &quot;You don't have anything but your 'Scalding Lake' t-shirt. And pants. Forgot to mention the pants.&quot;<br /> ***(if you are already wearing the robe) - &quot;You're already in the old skool robe. Represent.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;what the f&amp;mdash;&quot;''' ''([[Swears|uncensored version]])''&lt;!--actually &quot;what the fuck&quot;--&gt; (anywhere) - &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;where&quot;''' (anywhere) - Tells you where you are.<br /> *'''&quot;why&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;I wish I knew.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===X===<br /> <br /> ===Y===<br /> *&quot;'''Yes'''&quot; (to the Jhonka when he asks you about his riches)- &quot;'I KILL YOU!!' screams the Jhonka. ''{The Jhonka clubs you to death}'' Club or turkey leg, the jhonka sure just beat you senseless with whatever he was holding. You dead. Thanks for playing!&quot; '''Warning:''' Obviously, you will die.<br /> <br /> ===Z===<br /> <br /> ===Action Based===<br /> '''Warning:''' All of the below will kill you.<br /> <br /> *'''(Walk too close to the Kerrek)''' - ''{The Kerrek pounds your head into the ground}'' Your mom always told you not to take head poundings from strange Kerreks. And NOW looks what's happened. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Walk in the path of Dongelev's arrows)''' - ''{Dongolev shoots you in the head}'' That guy has no sense. He shot you. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Nice one, William Tell. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Leave the screen after putting the baby in the bucket)''' - Nice try. Ditch the baby at the bottom of the well, eh? Thought you'd be able to just walk away and it's nothing by mead and wenches from now on, huh? Well guess what? You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Hit by rock or pterodactyl when climbing the cliff)''' - ''{You fall to the ground and lie in a heap}'' Oops! You climbed real bad. You knew that you were AVOIDING the rocks, right? Not collecting them. Anyways, nice try. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Walk too close to Trogdor while he's asleep)''' - ''{Trogdor burninates you without waking up}'' Yow. Looks like you got a little too close. You dead. Maybe next time don't get too close.<br /> <br /> {{Peasant's Quest}}<br /> [[Category:Peasant's Quest]] [[Category:Lists]]</div> Mon, 18 Jun 2007 19:51:04 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Talk:Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses <p>GWR 2004:&#32;/* P */ Hey! Another response.</p> <hr /> <div>[[Image:PQ_look_footprints.png|thumb|300px|&gt; LOOK FOOTPRINTS]]<br /> The [[Peasant's Quest]] game relies on text commands to complete objectives in the game. While there are programmed responses to all of the necessary actions in the game's storyline, the game contains many responses to unproductive commands as well.<br /> <br /> {| border=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;toc&quot;<br /> ! align=&quot;center&quot; | {{int:toc}}<br /> |-<br /> | align=&quot;left&quot; |<br /> *[[#Walkthrough Messages|1 Walkthrough Messages]]<br /> *[[#The Three Keepers' Messages|2 The Three Keepers' Messages]]<br /> **[[#The First Keeper|2.1 The First Keeper]]<br /> **[[#The Second Keeper|2.2 The Second Keeper]]<br /> **[[#The Third Keeper|2.3 The Third Keeper]]<br /> *[[#Area Descriptions|3 Area Descriptions]]<br /> *[[#Other Productive Responses|4 Other Productive Responses]]<br /> **[[#Constructive Conversations|4.1 Constructive Conversations]]<br /> **[[#Useful Documents|4.2 Useful Documents]]<br /> **[[#Helpful Hints|4.3 Helpful Hints]]<br /> *[[#Unproductive Responses|5 Unproductive Responses]]<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==Walkthrough Messages==<br /> {{spoiler}}<br /> The following are the messages displayed while completing the minimal number of tasks to achieve a perfect score. Note that different messages may be displayed for a game completed differently (e.g. if the Three Keepers' questions are answered), and that there are [[#Unproductive Responses|many other messages]] that may be displayed in response to inputs that are not constructive and/or not essential to completion of the game.<br /> <br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Points !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || YOU are Rather Dashing, a humble peasant living in the peasant kingdom of Peasantry.&lt;br&gt;You return home from a vacation on Scalding Lake only to find that TROGDOR THE BURNINATOR has burninated your thatched roof cottage along with all your goods and services.&lt;br&gt;With nothing left to lose, you swear to get revenge on the Wingaling Dragon in the name of burninated peasants everywhere. || 3B<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || You head east towards the mountain atop which TROGDOR lives. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || That's a nice looking lake. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || You can start playing in a second here. || 2D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || Okay, go for it. || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || get pebbles || You grab up a handful of fairly substantial pebbles. You make sure to get an even mix of sedentary, igneous, and, um, sureptitious rocks. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || put rocks in bucket || You plunk all your pebbles into the bucket. The weight causes it to descend to the bottom of the well with a quickness! || 1D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || turn crank || &quot;The crank seems to have loosened and you haul the bucket back up. What's this? Why there's a monster maskus in there! No doubt leftover from some pagan ritual. Silly pagans.&lt;br&gt;You grab up the scary moster maskus. Man, this thing could scare a horse! || 1D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || talk man || &quot;Oh, hi. I'm Mendelev,&quot; says the archer. &quot;I used to run a shooting range here with my brother Dongolev. But we don't talk so much anymore. I haven't seen him in a Jhonka's age. If you ever run into him, telll him I said 'haldo'.&lt;br&gt;&quot;You mean 'hello,'&quot; you ask?&lt;br&gt;&quot;Oh, um. No. Shut up. I said 'haldo' and I meant 'haldo.' Tell him I said 'haldo.'&quot;<br /> || 2D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || wear mask || You slip on the hideous monster maskus.&lt;br&gt;You scared the crap outta Poor Gary! He broke on through to the other side! || 1A<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || haldo || the archer stops arching and turns to you. &quot;My brother told you to tell me haldo? He must want to start the old business back up!&quot; || Hidden glen<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || get arrow || You pick out a really good one and yank it from the tree. Hooray! Now you have an arrow! || Hidden glen<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || get chicken feed || You used to eat this stuff like crazy when you were a kid and your parents weren't watching (which was all too often). You grab several large handfuls. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || the baby lady calls after you, &quot;Hey, you're on some quest right? Well, the little squirt here lost something of mine in the yard the other day. It's yours if you can find it.&quot; || Baby lady cottage<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (first bush) || You reach into the bush to snag some berries but they all just squish in your hand. || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (second bush) || Man, nothing in this bush but squished berries either. || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (third bush) || Too bad you don't want any squished berries, cuz hey: jackpot! || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 2 || get berries (fourth bush) || You reach into the bush to snag you some berries but instead find a Super Trinket! These things are awesome! You have a sneaking suspicion that SOMEONE in this game will need this thing. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || throw chicken feed || You toss the feed into the lake. You shed a tear for each one. &quot;Goodbye, Monty&quot; you sniff. &quot;Bye Delga, Rasputin. Farewell, Combledon!&quot; and so forth.&lt;br&gt;Woah! That crotchety old man just caught a pantload of fish! &quot;Now I can get back to running the inn,&quot; he says and rows to shore and hauls his boat out and cleans, guts, and filets all the fish and a buncha other stuff we didn't animate. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || give super trinket || &quot;That'll work,&quot; says Mendelev. Just hit 3 bullseyes and you win the SuperTime FunBow TM!&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;The ARROW KEYS aim left and right and the SPACE BAR operates the bow. You'll need to press it a couple of times to get a nice shot off but we don't give lessons so you're on your own.&quot; || 2C<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (get [X]=3-5 bullseyes) || &quot;Nice shootin! [X] hits.&quot; Says Mendelev. &quot;Here's your prize!&quot; You got the SuperTime FunBow TM! We don't sell ammo, so you'll have to find your own arrows for it. || 2C<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || shoot Kerrek with bow || Here goes nothin', Kid Icarus&lt;br&gt;ARROWED!! Nice shot. You smote the Kerrek! He lay there stinking.&lt;br&gt;A light rain heralds the washing free of the Kerrek's grip on the land. You're feeling pretty good, though, so the artless symbolism doesn't bug you. || 1B or 4C<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || get belt || You strap the Kerrek's belt buckle around your waist. Oh boy. You sure stink now. || 1B or 4C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || (walk into mud puddle) || Now you've done it! You're covered in sticky, albeit fine smelling, mud. Your &quot;Scalding Lake&quot; T-shirt is all soiled, too. You just washed it last harvest! || 2B<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || jump into hay || You've not known much better than a roll in the hay alone.&lt;br&gt;You leap in the hay like a two years old boy. Uh oh. The hay sticks to your muddy body. You're a walking hay bale! Just like that one guy from that one show! || 2A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (walk to Jhonka's cave) || Hey, nice disguise! The Jhonka doesn't seem to notice you. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 7 || steal riches || Oh OH! A stiff breeze blew all the hay and, surprisingly, the mud off of you! &quot;You take my riches?!&quot; growls the Jhonka. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || No || &quot;Okay. Lemme know if you see riches anywhere,&quot; he grunts and goes back to his hopping. You smooth talker, you. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give riches || &quot;My riches!!&quot; she screams and snatches up every last gold coin. &quot;Thanks, sucker! Here you go!&quot; she shoves the baby into your hands and bolts out the door.&lt;br&gt;You later learn that she does this all the time and is wanted throughout the countryside. Those riches probably WERE the Jhonka's and who knows whose baby that is. Well, it's yours now. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || This place is dead anyway. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || throw baby || Something tells you this is a good idea and you lob the little one into the lake.&lt;br&gt;You won't be arrested after all! The little guy has resurfaced safely, carrying an old bottle of soda. You take the soda and stow your swaddling buddy for takeoff. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || put baby in bucket || Okay, Father of the Year. You put a baby in a bucket and it quickly descends deep into the well. Yours is a black, black heart. || 1C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || turn crank || You haul the bucket back up. Lucky for you, the baby is still in it and appears to be unscathed. As a bonus, it looks like he found a Meatball sub down there. Score! You take the sub.&lt;br&gt;Oh, and the baby. You take the baby. || 1C<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give baby || &quot;Well lookit that little guy!&quot; says the Innkeeper. &quot;You want a treat, do ya? What do babies like?&quot; He fishes around in his pockets.&lt;br&gt;&quot;Um, how bout my medication!&quot; You grab the bottle of pills before he can force them on the baby. &quot;Hey, those were for him!&quot; || inn<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || move rock || You slide the stone over to reveal a little hole. If only you could cut off your arms, legs, and head you might be able to squeeze through! || 4A<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || put baby into the hole || Deploying Q-Baby...&lt;br&gt;Way to go, baby! It got the cottage door opened and headed off to a new life. He becomes Valedictorian of his graduating class, goes to Scalding Lake State, gets a degree in Advanced Peasantry and lands a job at Thatch-Pro: building better cottages for a better tomorrow.&lt;br&gt;You grow apart and the letters from him become fewer and fewer. He develops a severe mead problem and blames you for never being there. || 4A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open drawer || There's a vintage peasant robe in there! Just like grampa used to wear. || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || get robe || Yeah! Get that robe! || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || close drawer || Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint. || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || wear robe || You slip into the vintage robe. It smells like grampa's lap. Now you're lookin like a serious peasant. || anywhere<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || get room || &quot;Okay, youngster,&quot; says the decrepit old person. &quot;Just bed on down for the night and I'm sure I'll remember to collect the fee come morning.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Night falls like a bad power point presentation.&lt;br&gt;What an uncomfortable bed! You sleep for maybe 20 minutes before the extreme pain in your spine forces you to get up.|| Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || get pot || You reach way up to the top shelf.&lt;br&gt;Oh great! Now you can't see a thing and your head is covered in highly flammable horse grease. You better get out of here before that disgusting old man comes back. || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (exiting inn with pot on head) || Phew! You discard the big black pot and wipe the horse grease from your eyes. The hood of your robe is still covered in highly flammable horse grease, though. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || (walking under candle in burninated trees) || Whoa! The horse grease on your robe caught fire! You're a for-real peasant now. || 4E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (exiting 4E) || Man, screens sure get light fast around here. || 1E, 3E, or 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 7 || talk knight || Lookin good, Mr. Peasant. Good luck with ol' Beefy Arm up there.&lt;br&gt;This is it! You can finally get revenge on Trogdor! Nice work so far, stupid!&lt;br&gt;Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter.&lt;br&gt;Disk read error. Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter. || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || climb || With a new determination you dig your fingers into the cliff face and begin to haul yourself up the mountain like you were in a sports drink commercial&lt;br&gt;The mountain starts rumbling and big loose boulders start tumblin down. You'd best avoid thems. || Cliff base<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (successfully climbing the cliff without dying) || Nice jorb climbing the cliff. You have a real way with those arrow keys. || Cliffland heights<br /> |-id=&quot;bribery_route&quot;<br /> | 0 || (approached by first keeper) || Foolish peasant! How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!&lt;br&gt;You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!&lt;br&gt;You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.&lt;br&gt;And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.&lt;br&gt;Unless you happen to have something to eat on ya. Then we could forego my question. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give sandwich || No way! I was just kidding but you've really got a meatball sub. This rules! Here, you can have the Trog-Shield. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (approached by second keeper) || Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!&lt;br&gt;Or we could call it even if I had an ice cold drink right now. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give soda || Sweet deal, peasant. I underestimated you. Wear this Trog-Helmet with style. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (approached by third keeper) || Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!&lt;br&gt;That is, unless you've got something for my lower back. Man, it's killin me! || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give pills || Whoa! Where'd you find this stuff? I don't think this is even legal anymore. These babies'll definitely smote LUMBAGO the, um, LOWER BACKINATOR!!&lt;br&gt;The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (enter Trogdor's cave) || the beaded curtain slams shut behind you. There's no turning back now. || Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 7 || throw sword || This is it! You hurl the Trog-Sword with all your might at the sleeping Burninator.&lt;br&gt;Now you've done it! Trogdor's awake and the Trog-Sword doesn't seem to be doing a whole lot.&lt;br&gt;Your legs lock in fear, your eyes glaze over and you wish for some Depeasant adult undergarments. But you think you hear Trogdor whimpering!&lt;br&gt;Aw crap, that's you whimpering. At least your voice still works, I guess.|| Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 10 || talk trogdor || You scream that your name is Rather Dashing and that Trogdor burninated your cottage and you're here for revenge!&lt;br&gt;&quot;Sup, mortal,&quot; booms Trogdor. &quot;I really appreciate you making the effort to come all the way up here and vanquish me and all. But, I'm kinda indestructible.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Yeah, I can't be killed. I'm surprised nobody mentioned that to you. I'll admit though, you've gotten farther than anybody else ever has. I bet they'll make a statue or something in honor of you somewheres.&lt;br&gt;&quot;I can honestly say it'll be a pleasure and an honor to burninate you, Rather Dashing.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Aw that sure was nice of him!&lt;br&gt;Congratulations! You've won! No one can kill Trogdor but you came closer than anybody ever! Way to go! || Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Peasant's Quest&lt;br&gt;Written by Matt, Jonathan, and Mike || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Programmed by Jonathan || 1E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Graphics by Mike and Matt || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Quality Assurance Types:&lt;br&gt;Neal Stamper,&lt;br&gt;Don Chapman, and John Radle&lt;br&gt;Nice work on winning and everything.&lt;br&gt;THE END || 3B<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==The Three Keepers' Messages==<br /> There are several messages that the game may return while [[Rather Dashing]] is answering questions of [[The Three Keepers of Trogdor]]. The simplest way to complete this part of the game is to bribe the Keepers; the messages returned in this case are listed [[Peasant's Quest Responses#bribery_route|above]]. If Rather Dashing has not acquired the three items necessary to bribe the Keepers, however, he must answer a question from each of them. The messages returned while answering their questions are listed here.<br /> <br /> ===The First Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!&lt;br&gt;You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!&lt;br&gt;You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.&lt;br&gt;And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> ''The First Keeper will ask you one of the following questions (the correct answer is '''highlighted'''):''<br /> :Okay here goes. What did you win from the Archery game?<br /> :A. SuperBow FunTime TM<br /> :'''B. SuperTime FunBow TM'''<br /> :C. SuperFun BowTime TM<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Okay here goes. What does Mendelev have you tell Dongolev?<br /> :'''A. Haldo'''<br /> :B. Hallo<br /> :C. Allo<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Okay here goes. What is the only creature the Jhonka fears?<br /> :A. Poor Gary<br /> :B. The Baby<br /> :'''C. The Kerrek'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;Ah crap! You're right. Here, take this stupid Trog-Shield!&quot;<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> &quot;Sorry peasant! You fail! And as punishment, you will be turned into...RON CUMBERDALE!!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> You ask who the crap Ron Cumberdale is.<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> &quot;Just this kid from 4th grade that I really hated. But he was a BIG LOSER and HE SMELLED!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Well, you not exactly dead. But there's no way you could defeat Trogdor as Ron Cumberdale. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.<br /> <br /> ===The Second Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> :Listen careful now. Which one of these letters is the letter C?<br /> :A. B<br /> :'''B. C'''<br /> :C. A<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Listen careful now. How many berry bushes are there in the whole kingdom of Peasantry?<br /> :A. 4<br /> :'''B. 5'''<br /> :C. 6<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Listen careful now. What was the Innkeeper's pantry full of?<br /> :A. Epsom Salts<br /> :B. Epson Printers<br /> :'''C. Old Man Rub'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;That's right. Oh. This sucks. Guess I have to give you this Trog-Helmet. Dang.&quot;<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> &quot;WRONG! You are hereby cursed to write corny folk songs for the rest of eternity! The kind that only OLD PEOPLE LIKE!!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Well, you not exactly dead. But you certainly can't face Trogdor after writing 'Wheat Grows Sweet, But My Gal's Sweeter'. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.<br /> <br /> ===The Third Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> :Riddle me this. To whom did the robe you're wearing originally belong?<br /> :A. Nobleman Nicholas<br /> :B. Nina Neverawesome<br /> :'''C. Naked Ned'''<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Riddle me this. What color are the leaves on the tree that grows by the well?<br /> :'''A. Orange'''<br /> :B. Green<br /> :C. Yellow<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Riddle me this. Which way does the river that runs through Peasantry flow?<br /> :A. West to East<br /> :B. Northwest to South<br /> :'''C. Northeast to Southwest'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;Uh oh. You got it right. Trogdor's gonna kill me. Okay, you can have the Trog-Sword. Just promise not to kill any Trogdor's with it, kay?&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> You just stare at the Keeper blankly.<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> &quot;Okay fine! You can have the dumb thing anyways. Trogdor's through the beaded curtain over there.&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant.<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> YES! I was hoping you'd get mine wrong. No Trog-Sword for you. In fact, no skin for you either!<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Wow. You sure dead. You had a good run, though. Thanks for playin.<br /> <br /> ''Note: if you fail to provide &quot;A&quot;, &quot;B&quot;, or &quot;C&quot; as an answer to any of the above questions, the Keeper will ask the question again, replacing the first sentence with the following one:'' Peasant fool! Choose A, B, or C!<br /> <br /> ==Area Descriptions==<br /> By typing &quot;look&quot; in an area, you can receive a description of the surrounding area. Sometimes descriptions change as events come to pass.<br /> <br /> *'''Hidden Glen:''' Well, looky here! A hidden glen! You LOVE hidden glens. This one has some kinda archer in it.<br /> **''{after Dongelev leaves}'' You're in a hidden glen. There's a tree with zillions of arrows in it.<br /> *'''Poor Gary's Glen ([[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|A1]]):''' Hey! There's a rotten ol' horse over there!<br /> *'''Kerrek Tracks 1 (B1):''' There are large hoof prints in the grass here.<br /> **''{no Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the the [sic] grass here. And it smells like a public latrine.<br /> **''{living Kerrek}'' It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!<br /> **''{dead Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. There is a large Kerrek-shaped mound on the grass.<br /> **''{rotting Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Part of the ground looks just like a rotting &lt;!--no capital--&gt;kerrek.<br /> **''{skeletal Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Looks like someone left their spare bones here.<br /> *'''Old Well (C1):''' There's a really generic well here. Oh, and apparently it's autumn on this screen.<br /> *'''Yellow Tree (D1):''' Rushing river [[b/w]] yellow tree.<br /> *'''Waterfall (E1):''' There's a beautiful, magical waterfall cascading down the cliff side.<br /> *'''That Hay Bale (A2):''' Well, there's that big bale of hay over there.<br /> **''{when in hay disguise, anywhere}'' Right now, you see a bunch of hay.<br /> *'''That Mud Puddle (B2):''' There's a dried out mud puddle. It's all caked and cracked like the kind rock stars are always standing on.<br /> **''{when raining}'' Not much to see. 'Sides that big mud puddle.<br /> *'''Archery Range (C2):''' You've come across some kind of shooting gallery. There's a depressed looking archer at the desk there.<br /> *'''River and Stone (D2):''' Not much to see. River's got a rock in it.<br /> *'''Mountain Pass (E2):''' You've reached the mountain pass that leads to Trogdor's lair. A royal knight blocks the entrance.<br /> *'''Jhonka's Cave (A3):''' There's a little cave with a little door with a little note on it.<br /> **''{before getting riches, after Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.&lt;!--No space--&gt;A fat pile of riches lies next to him.<br /> **''{after the Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.<br /> *'''Your Burninated Cottage (B3):''' The remains of your thatched-roof cottage lie before you. You swear revenge against Trogdor.<br /> *'''Pebble Lake West (C3):''' There's definitely half a lake here with a sandy shore.<br /> *'''Pebble Lake East (D3):''' Why it's half a lake.<br /> **''{when the old man is fishing}'' Why it's half a lake.&lt;!--there's no space--&gt;With a fisherman in it. And he's fishing!<br /> *'''Outside Giant Inn (E3):''' There's a giant Inn here. It takes up, like, the entire screen.<br /> **'''Inside Giant Inn:''' What a dump! Only one bed and no minibar? The Innkeeper stands behind the desk and there's a door that's closed.<br /> **'''Inside Giant Inn:''' ''{at night}'' It's still dark out. The grimey old Innkeeper is gone and he left the pantry open.<br /> *'''Outside Mysterious Cottage: (A4)''' There's a run-of-the-mill non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.<br /> **'''Inside Mysterious Cottage:''' This place could use some serious sprucing of the 'up' variety. There's a dresser over there and a broom kind of silhouetted all mysterious like.<br /> *'''Wavy Tree (B4):''' Nothing special here except for that weird wavy tree.<br /> *'''Kerrek Tracks 2 (C4):''' ''{same as Kerrek Tracks 1}''<br /> *'''Outside Baby Lady Cottage (D4):''' There's a ranch-style thatched roof cottage here. There are also what appear to be four crunch berry bushes but you can't be sure.<br /> **'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. A lady rocks her baby in a chair. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.<br /> **'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' ''{after the baby lady leaves}'' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. There is one of those self-rocking chairs. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.<br /> *'''Burninated Trees (E4):''' A signal lantern of some kind hangs from a burninated tree.<br /> **''{at night}'' A burning signal lantern hangs from a severely burninated tree.<br /> *'''Cliff Base:''' You're at the base of a very climbable cliff that leads to Trogdor's lair. This cliff is huge - the kind where rocks start falling down the minute you try to climb it.<br /> *'''Cliffland Heights:''' Wow! It sure gets creepy fast around here! What with all the lightning and scary cave entrances.<br /> *'''Trogdor's Outer Sanctum:''' There are 3 openings with a little cliff in front of each. A beaded curtain hangs in a doorway on the far wall.<br /> *'''Trogdor's Posh Lair:''' You're in a giant cavern which houses a giant dragon. You didn't shrink or anything.<br /> <br /> ==Other Productive Responses==<br /> ===Constructive Conversations===<br /> There are some helpful residents of [[Peasantry]] who will provide you with tips about how to proceed in the game. While these conversations are not necessary for completion of the game, many are important to the game's storyline.<br /> <br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Character !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (at beginning of game) || You explain your situation to the knight. That Trogdor burninated your cottage and you've sworn revenge. You ask for passage up the mountain to settle your score. (Press RETURN to advance through conversations)&lt;br&gt;&quot;Hang on there, Trogdorkilla,&quot; says the knight. &quot;I can only allow actual peasants up the mountain pass to face Trogdor. And you CLEARLY are not one.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Look, Dragonheart...&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;You don't STINK like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;You don't DRESS like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;And you're definitely not ON FIRE like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Once you're those 3 things, come back and maybe we can talk.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Be sure to LOOK around lots. Talk to everyone you see and ASK ABOUT stuff. Type HELP if you get confused and INVENTORY to see your worldly stuff. Type SAVE or LOAD to save or load your game. Duh.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;belt_only&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt) || &quot;Frankly, Matthew Broderick, you sure stink like a peasant. But you still don't DRESS like a peasant and you're not ON FIRE like a peasant.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;robe_only&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Naked Ned's robe) || &quot;My dear Adso, you are dressed well but you don't STINK and you're not ON FIRE. Let us instead exercise our brains and try to solve this tantalizing conundrum.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;belt_and_robe&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt and Naked Ned's robe) || &quot;Almost there, Dirk the Daring. You stink like a peasant and you dress like one too. But you're clearly still not ON FIRE.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | [[Baby Lady &amp; Her Baby#The Baby Lady|The Baby Lady]] || talk lady || &quot;Hello, I'm-&quot; you start but the lady cuts you off&lt;br&gt;&quot;Okay, here's why I let you in here,&quot; she explains. &quot;My husband got squished by Trogdor. And to make matters worse, the insurance riches I got were stolen by Jhonka. Go steal them back for us and I'll give you something great.&quot; || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || talk man (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || You holler at the old man about Trogdor, but he just grumbles about the fish not biting. &quot;Must be using the wrong bait...&quot; he says, suggestively. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || talk man (after throwing chicken feed in lake) || &quot;If you're interested in staying the night, just type 'get a room.'&quot; || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || get a room (without robe)|| &quot;I only serve peasants here, fancypants!&quot; barks the old guy. &quot;Where's your robe?&quot; || Inside giant inn<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ===Useful Documents===<br /> There are a few notes and documents lying around Peasantry that help Rather Dashing on his quest.<br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Item !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | [[Peasant's Quest Items#map|Map]] || get map || You tuck it nice-like into your short, short pants. Type MAP at nearly any time to check the map. || 3B<br /> |-<br /> | Note on [[Old Man]]'s door || read note (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || It says, &quot;Gone Fishin&quot; just like that grog coozie your cousin got you. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | Note on [[Jhonka]]'s door || read note (before killing [[Kerrek]]) || It says &quot;scared of kerrek. go way. -j&quot; || 3A<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ===Helpful Hints===<br /> At times when you stray from the correct path in the game, the computer will respond with suggestions to help keep you on the right track.<br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! Action !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | After jumping in the haystack, go from 2A to any screen except 3A || Drat. The winds are heavy on all but a couple of key screens... looks like you're no longer in stealth mode. || 1A or 2B<br /> |-<br /> | Type any command while the pot of horse grease is on your head || You need to get out of there before that smelly octogenarian gets back. || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | Type any command other than &quot;Talk&quot; or &quot;Talk Trogdor&quot; after Trogdor wakes up || Trogdor is awake and a couple seconds from a Rather Dashing BBQ. Might as well say your peace with him. || Trogdor's Posh Lair<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==Unproductive Responses==<br /> [[Image:closedrawer.PNG|thumb|300px|&gt; CLOSE DRAWER]]<br /> There are many messages that the game gives you when you input commands that are not essential to the game's storyline. Here is a list of all that have been found. When more than one option is given, such as &quot;get/take _____&quot;, either word will produce the same response.<br /> <br /> <br /> {{compactTOC3}}<br /> {{clear}}<br /> ===#===<br /> <br /> ===A===<br /> *'''&quot;Ask about _____&quot;:'''<br /> **'''Baby:'''<br /> ***(to Baby Lady) - &quot;This little guy's all I got left. If only someone would steal back all our riches from that filthy Jhonka.&quot;<br /> **'''Fire:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Well, whenever I see peasants, they tend to be on fire. So get yourself on fire. I hear horse grease gives a nice, controlled burn.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;You need fire? A couple of trees over by the waterfall used to be on fire. But now there's like a signal lantern over there or something.&quot; / &quot;So should I ask that signal lantern?&quot; you ask. / &quot;I dunno man! Whattaya want from me?&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Trogdor just burned down some idiot peasant's cottage. You should ask him,&quot; says Mendelev. / &quot;Yeah, this jerk goes on vacation to some prancey lake and...&quot; / They see you staring daggers at them and turn bright red. / &quot;Oh. Nevermind,&quot; says Dongolev. &quot;Um, yeah. What's a fire?&quot; adds Mendelev.<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Burninator make fire! Barbecue all peasants!&quot;<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I've always preferred being on fire at night. Looks prettier and keeps the butterflies away.&quot;<br /> **'''Jhonka:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Since the Kerrek showed up, we don't see the Jhonka so much anymore. He lives in that little cave over in west Peasantry.&quot;<br /> ***(to Baby Lady) - &quot;That nasty thing killed my husband and took my riches!!&quot; / &quot;I thought Trogdor killed your husband,&quot; you interject. / &quot;Oh right. Yeah. That's what I said. Trogband killed my husbdor.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;The Kerrek is dead!&quot; he cries and hops around some more. You wonder how someone this primitive could have made that much dough.<br /> **'''Kerrek:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I call him Big Stinky. He's slow and stupid, but he'll pound you into milks meat without a second thought.&quot;<br /> **'''Naked Ned:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;That weirdo used to live over in west Peasantry but now I guess he just prances around the forest in his birthday suit.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;Don't talk about that pervert in front of the baby here.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;That guy creeps us out. In fact, shut up about him.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Filthy naked peasant! Stay away from my cave-hole!&quot; Who's he calling naked? HE'S the one wearing the string bikini.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;He used to be such a nice, clothed young man. Wonder what he's done with all his old clothes?&quot;<br /> **'''robe:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Peasants wear those brown robes. You know, with the rope around the waist. Get yourself one of those.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;You can't have mine, pervert! I'm not a nudist peasant like that weirdo over in west Peasantry!&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;We wouldn't know. We only wear archer clothes. You just can't arch real well in a robe, y'know?&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - ''see naked ned''<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I wear my robe hood-down so it's easier to trim my ear-hairs. If you need a robe, maybe try someone that's not using theirs.&quot;<br /> **'''smell:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I never met a peasant that didn't stink. If you wanna smell bad, get the Kerrek involved. That thing reeks!&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;What smells is junior here's drawers! I gotta quit feeding him so much horse!&quot; / &quot;And don't start asking me for his diapers, sicko!&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;That giant pig running around sure smells bad. Maybe talk to him.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Kerrek smell! Now Kerrek dead!&quot; screeches the Jhonka. So you can infer from this that all smells are dead? You always sucked at the analytical questions.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;Well, if you don't stink, maybe find something that does and wear it. Like a dead carcass or summat.&quot;<br /> **'''trogdor:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;If I had a gold coin for every whining peasant's cottage that freaking dragon burninated, I'd be rich as a jhonka.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;I hope you kill that stupid dragon. My 'Wives of Squished Peasants' support group would bake you a Poor Gary pie if you did.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Oh man, there was this one time when I came THIS close to having Trogdor ARROWED!&quot; says Dongolev. / &quot;Hey, shut up! That was me!&quot; interrupts Mendelev, &quot;YOU almost arrowed that blue baby!&quot; says Dongolev. [sic] / &quot;Did not!&quot; / &quot;Did so!&quot; / &quot;Did not!&quot; / (You see where this is going.)<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;All hail Burninator! Trogdor Number One! Beat Peasant Tech!&quot; says the grimy Jhonka.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;Are you talking about that young green boy that lives up the street? He's always tearing my roof off and eating my customers.&quot;<br /> **'''anything else:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I don't know anything about that, short pants.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;I dunno what you're talking about.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Either we don't know anything about that, or you're real boring.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Jhonka don't know nothing bout that!&quot;<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I don't know nothing about no whatever you just said.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere else) - &quot;Ask about what?&quot;<br /> : &lt;small&gt;* - You can only ask Mendelev and Dongolev when they're together.&lt;/small&gt;<br /> *'''&quot;attack sign&quot;''' (at the Mountain Pass) - &quot;I was being facetious, Mr. Smarty-short-pants. No sign attacking for you.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===B===<br /> *'''&quot;boo&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Scared me.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;break/kick/punch door&quot;''' (at Outside mysterious cottage) - &quot;Violence is not the answer.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;break sign&quot;''' (at Mountain Pass) - ''See &quot;attack sign&quot;''<br /> *'''&quot;break stump, sit on stump, etc.&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Are you THAT bored? Do some questing already!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;buy kerrek a cold one&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;The kerrek&lt;!--sic--&gt; is a teetotaller and is offended by your offer. You've really cheesed him off now.&quot; '''Warning:''' This speeds the Kerrek up, so be careful. This command was first seen in the email [[for kids]].<br /> <br /> ===C===<br /> *'''&quot;[[The Cheat|cheat]]&quot;''' (or any phrase involving &quot;cheat&quot;; anywhere) - &quot;Meh.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;climb _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;cliff&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere near the bottom of the cliff) - &quot;There aren't enough footholds and you don't have any carabeaners on you.&quot;<br /> ***(at the top of the cliff) - &quot;They don't show how the sports-drink people get down from the cliff. You've no idea how to start.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fence&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;No, you have business to attend to here in Peasantry.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;More like you should walk through that gaping hole in it. Just an idea.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Not going to dignify that with a response.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in bucket&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Your butt is too big.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;No go. Your insurance doesn't cover that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but at the wavy tree or hidden glen) - &quot;But then your hands would get all sappy.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Naw, you'd probably figure out some way to kill yourself doing that.&quot;<br /> ***(at the wavy tree) - &quot;You don't climb wavy trees.&quot;<br /> ***(after getting a room in the inn) - &quot;Naw. That's dumb. Do better.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;close _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Already done. That was easy!&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - &quot;You can't. That baby really wrenched it open good.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;'''<br /> ***(without stealing the robe) - &quot;Right, right. Wouldn't want to leave the robes out where any old guy trying to beat an adventure game could take them.&quot;<br /> ***(when it's closed) - &quot;A riddle: What can be closed that is already closed? (hint: not this drawer)&quot;<br /> ***(after getting the robe) - &quot;Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;cut off arms, legs, and head&quot;''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Very funny. You have trouble cutting out coupons in the weekly 'Peasant Penny-Pincher' circular. I'd like to see you try.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===D===<br /> *'''&quot;[[dan]]&quot;''' (or any phrase involving Dan; anywhere): &quot;Dan's still okay. Got a place on Dekalb with Rick and his wife. Slimmed up a bit and looking towards the future.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;dance&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You'd rather just stand here and soak up the scene.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;die&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;That wasn't very smart. You dead.&quot; '''Warning:''' This kills you.<br /> *'''&quot;drink&quot;''' (or any object after &quot;drink&quot;; anywhere) - &quot;For simplicity's sake you are immune to hunger and thirst in this game. So you got that going for you./Which is nice.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;drop baby&quot;'''<br /> **(once you have baby) - &quot;Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm.&quot; '''or''' &quot;Quit tryin to ditch the baby!&quot;<br /> **(before you have baby) - &quot;You don't even have two babies to rub together.&quot;<br /> **(at the well) - &quot;Like where?&quot;<br /> <br /> ===E===<br /> <br /> ===F===<br /> *'''&quot;feed horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen before scaring him) - &quot;There's a good chance that horse has NEVER eaten. I doubt he'll start now.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===G===<br /> *'''&quot;get a room&quot;''' (when on fire) - &quot;\oard&lt;!-- Yes, it's really a backslash, not a B. That's why &quot;[sic]&quot; is there. --&gt; [sic] of Peasant Health says I can't serve any folk that's on fire. Nothing personal. Well, I mean, I don't like you much anyway.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;get/take/steal _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;(anything not listed and not relevant to the plot)&quot;''' - &quot;You probably WISH you could get that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;arrow&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the archery range) - &quot;They have 'RANGE' printed on them, so it would be kind of embarrassing to have to shoot around with them. Also, that guy over there is giving you the evil eye.&quot;<br /> ***(at the secret glen while Dongolev is there) - &quot;Something tells me now's not a good time.&quot; (you get the arrow anyway and Dongolev shoots you) &quot;It wasn't a good time. Hey, my mom's making peasant-kabobs for dinner TOO! Right. Anyway. You dead. Thanks for playing, and try not to die.&quot; '''Warning:''' As you can see, this kills you.<br /> ***(at the secret glen after getting the first arrow OR at the secret glen after getting the second arrow after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;You're pretty much all set on the arrow front. They're kinda cool, though.&quot;<br /> ***(at the secret glen after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;You grab yet another arrow from the tree hoping to get some bonus points.&quot;<br /> ***(at Kerrek's body after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;Eww! No way. That thing's got some serious Kerrek-Brand kooties on it now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage, while she has the baby) - &quot;'You want to be a part of this family? GO GET US THOSE RICHES!!' she shrieks.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bell&quot;''' (in the inn, after getting a room) - &quot;You can't. It looks like it's been somehow olded&lt;!-- sic --&gt; to the desk.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (after getting it) - &quot;You totally got the belt already, as evidenced by the rancid cloud of odor that follows you like a shadow.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;berries&quot;'''<br /> ***(the same bush twice outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You already searched that bush. It was okay. Nothing to write home about... oh, wait... you don't have a home. My b.&quot;<br /> ***(after you've gotten the trinket, outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You've searched your fill of berry bushes for this game. If you want to search more press 'reload' on the browser&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake) - &quot;NO MAN! JEEZ!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bone/skull&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff) - &quot;Eww. No. Grody. You're grody. No. Eww.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;broom&quot;''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;No, no. The broom is in the foreground and you can't take things from the foreground. You don't see me all typing 'get browser window', do you?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bucket&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;You can't, it's tied to a rope and you're terrible with knots.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;candle&quot;''' (at night, in the inn) - &quot;It seems like you should be able to do that, doesn't it? Sorry. No dice.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;chair&quot;''' <br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is there) - &quot;No. There's a big bag of something in it. Oh, that's the baby lady.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is gone) - &quot;No. Too big for pants.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;club&quot;''' (outside the Jhonka's cottage when he's out) - &quot;Now there's a surefire way to get yourself killed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;You get a hernia from lifting it. -2 Movement points, -10 Constitution. Don't do that again.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage after stealing feed) - &quot;You don't need anymore. It might give rise to old temptations.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fire&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, before getting the horse grease) - &quot;You're just not flammable enough.&quot;<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting the horse grease) - &quot;You don't need to get IT. Just let IT get YOU.&quot;<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting on fire) - &quot;You're already on fire! What? You want to be MORE on fire?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;You nasty. Besides, they wouldn't survive a minute away from that horse's butt.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;gold/money&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Um, that's chicken feed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;grease&quot;''' (inside the inn, at night, when you already got the grease) - &quot;You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;hay&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;Who do you think you are? Some kind of Thy Dungeonman? You don't need any hay.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;There's a huge bale a couple of screens over from here. Why bother stealing?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain whether or not he's still alive) - &quot;Well, he does smell real bad. But he's a bit too big to fit in your pocket.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lantern&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;Better not. There's an engraved plaque on it that says, &quot;Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of 'You Die'.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;mud&quot;'''<br /> ***(when it's wet, before you fall in) - &quot;You can't get the mud so much. More like the mud'll get you.&quot;<br /> ***(when it's wet, after you fall in) - &quot;You've already gotten an heapin' helpin' all up on yo'self.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;map&quot;''' (at your cottage, after you've gotten it) - &quot;Yeah but like you already map the took, guy!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;note&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Jhonka's cave) - &quot;It's been magically sealed to the door with a wondrously whimsical spell.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;What is it with you and notes?! No!!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;old man rub&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;You disgust me.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;paper&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Naw, it might be important to that wrinkly old loon.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;painting&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Weird. It's actually painted right into the wall. Like, the frame and everything.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles&quot;'''<br /> ***(after you've gotten them) - &quot;Come now. We've been through this jaunty little bit before. You took them from the half lake screen with the cattail and stuff.&quot;<br /> ***(from the opposite side of where you get the pebbles) &quot;You do your best Mr. Fantastic impression, but you can't reach them from here.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;plague&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;Wrong game, Mispeller Jones. Try the little button to the left of the 'W'.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;plaque&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;You have enough of that on your browning, rotten peasant teeth already.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pillow&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;Not a chance. There's even more questionable stains on that pillow than there are on that rug.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You don't have anywhere to use it and it is rather bulky, so you leave it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pot&quot;''' (in the inn, after you already have horse grease) - &quot;You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;robe&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, after you've gotten it) - &quot;You still remember the time when you took them. Oh, the times have changed ... but the robes?&quot;<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, when the drawer is closed) - &quot;You reach into the closed drawer and nearly break your hand slamming it. Just like a bird on a pane of glass minus the blamelessness.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rock&quot;'''<br /> ***(by the stream) - &quot;For what? Now you're just making up puzzles to solve.&quot;<br /> ***(at the mud puddle) - &quot;That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me.&quot;<br /> ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage, after moving it) - &quot;You've already moved the stone out of the way to reveal a less-than-peasant-sized hole.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rug&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;You're not touching that thing. Too many questionable stains on it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;stuff/food&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Which foodstuffs?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;target&quot;''' (at the archery range) - &quot;No. Those will fall on you and more than likely kill you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;give _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;(anything not listed)&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;We don't need that mess.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere except for the woman's cottage) - &quot;You don't need to give that now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn, before you get the baby) - &quot;You have no baby nor any immediate prospects.&quot;<br /> ***(in the inn, when you already have the pills) - &quot;You already milked that fogey for all the pills he's worth.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;riches&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, before getting the riches) - &quot;'That's right,' she whines. 'Find my riches, and give here.'&quot;<br /> ***(outside Jhonka's cave, before jumping in hay) - &quot;The Jhonka will see you! And rip out your jugular with his teeth or something equally horrible.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, after giving the riches) - &quot;We did that already, and it was sort of humiliating.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trinket&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot; 'Did you find that thing in my yard?' she asks. 'I got that thing free in a box of Plaguezees. I need some FOR REAL riches!' &quot;<br /> ***(inside woman's cottage after giving trinket to Mendelev) - &quot;'Why are you holding your hand out?' she asks. 'I told you I need riches, so I can't give em away.' You don't have a trinket to give, you realize.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;go _____&quot;''' (anything or letter can be put in here) - &quot;Use the arrow keys, pal. Just like a joypad only more like your day job.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===H===<br /> *'''&quot;haldo&quot;'''<br /> **(anywhere but in the secret glade, before or after talking to Mendelev) - &quot;That's totally not Dongolev.&quot;<br /> **(in the secret glade before talking to Mendelev) - &quot;What'd you read that in PQ Stragedy [sic] Guide? Go talk to my brother first.&quot;<br /> **(in the secret glade after Dongolev leaves) - &quot;Haldo?.' you call out... 'Hadloooooo' [sic] &quot;<br /> **(at the archery Range after Dongolev has returned) - &quot;HALDO!!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;hide in hay&quot;''' (at the hay bale, before getting in) - &quot;Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;hug tree&quot;''' (at the hay bale) - &quot;To every thing, turn, turn, turn. There is a season, turn, turn, turn.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===I===<br /> <br /> ===J===<br /> *'''&quot;jump in hay&quot;''' (by the hay bale, when you're not muddy) - &quot;Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;jump in hay&quot;''' (near the hay bale, when you're muddy but not right next to it) - &quot;Who do you think you are, MJ? Try from a little closer.&quot;<br /> ===K===<br /> *'''&quot;kick/kill/punch poor gary&quot;'''<br /> **(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;You attempt to cause Poor Gary harm for no good reason other than you kinda suck at this game. {Poor Gary kicks you} WOW! For a decrepit old horse, Poor Gary still packs a mean whallop. You dead. Thanks for playing.&quot; '''Warning:''' Needless to say, this kills you.<br /> **(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;kill _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Those flies and that horse's butt have a symbiotic relationship. You have no right to disrupt that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (after he's outside) - &quot;No way! Jhonka's are born scrappers. He may be little, but he'll crawl ya.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is present and you do not have the bow and arrow) - &quot;With what?! You got no weapons except your butter-knife wit.&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the arrow, but not the bow) - &quot;With what?! You gonna throw that arrow at him?&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the bow, but not the arrow) - &quot;With what?! You got no arrow, fool!&quot;<br /> ***(after the Kerrek is dead) - &quot;Yeah. You smote the Kerrek. You deserve a trophy full of Mutton-ums.&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is not there) - &quot;Good idea. But you kinda need the actual Kerrek to be here for that to work.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;''' (while Trogdor's asleep, in his lair) - &quot;Like how?&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;knock&quot;'''<br /> **(at the woman's cottage) - &quot; 'It's open,' says a female voice from inside. Um, it's NOT open, but you get her drift.&quot;<br /> **(at the woman's cottage, after she leaves) - No one answers. That crazy lady took off. How ever will you get past this closed door now?<br /> **(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - &quot;A gravelly voice inside yells, 'JUST US CHICKENS' '''or:''' 'NO FOR RENT' '''or:''' 'I GIVE LAST YEAR!' '''or:''' 'GAVE AT OFFICE' '''or:''' 'GO WAY!'&quot;<br /> **(at the inn, while it's closed) - &quot;No answer.&quot;<br /> **(at the inn, after it's been opened) - &quot;Just open it, man!&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;You could knock until your knuckles bleed. Nobody's home.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;Knock until knuckles bleed&quot;'''<br /> **(at Naked Ned's cottage)-&quot;You knock for about 4 hours until your knuckles are raw and bloody. That was fun!&quot;<br /> **(type it again at Naked Ned's cottage)-&quot;You done that already. A great time was had by all.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===L===<br /> *'''&quot;light lantern&quot;'''<br /> **(at the burninated trees before it is lit) - &quot;With what? Your red-hot intellect?&quot;<br /> **(at the burninated trees after it is lit) - &quot;Already lit, moron.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;load&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;look _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''(at anything, while hiding inside the bale of hay)''' - &quot;Right now, you see a bunch of hay.&quot;<br /> **'''(at something previously in your inventory but now gone)''' - &quot;You used to have one, before the great item blight of 402. Check your INVENTORY to read about it.&quot; <br /> **'''(at something currently in your inventory)''' - &quot;You've totally got one of those! Check your INVENTORY to give'r a serious looksee.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;arrow&quot;''' (at the hidden glen) - &quot;Somebody call a tree doctor. Them puppies are stuck in there like a, um, er ... stuck pig.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage while she has the baby) - &quot;Peasant babies are pretty freaking adorable. This little guy's no exception.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bed&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Is that just a fitted sheet over a slab of concrete?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bell&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Tis broked.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;Yecch. I wouldn't touch that unless it was, like, an important quest item or something.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;berries&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake) &quot;Shut up.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Crunch berries maybe.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;boat/dinghy&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot;Keep your eyes off my dinghy!&quot; <br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake after he is gone) - &quot;It was loaned out to the [[Fishing Challenge '91|Fishing Challenge videogame]].&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bone/skeleton/skull&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff for the bone and skull and in Trogdor's outer sanctum for the skeleton) - &quot;You can't be sure but you think those are dead person bones.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bush&quot;''' (at the west side of the lake) - &quot;Don't worry about that bush. Yeah, there's red berries on it but never you mind.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bushes&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You suspect they might be crunch berry bushes.&quot;<br /> ***(in the hidden glen) - &quot;There's some thick 'ol bushes up in this hidden glen.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;candle&quot;''' (in the inn after getting a room) - &quot;That candle's not at all on fire.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;cave&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the Jhonka's cave) - &quot;Just a little cave. Calm down.&quot;<br /> ***(at the top of the cliff) - &quot;The cave entrance beckons to you like a hot mutton sandwich might.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;chair&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;One of those self-rocking kind. Not bad for a brown-collar peasant-type. Must be trickle-down in action.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;club/turkey leg&quot;''' (at the Jhonka's cave when he's outside) - &quot;Turkey leg or no, it looks like the Jhonka's been gnawing on it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;cottage&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the yellow tree) - &quot;You see a cottage in the distance. You hold your fingers up to one eye and pretend to squash it.&quot;<br /> ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;A run-of-the-mill, non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You had a cottage once. A lot like this one. *sniff* Trogdor will pay!&quot;<br /> ***(at your burninated cottage) - &quot;All your baubles and trinkets, your flasks and scrolls, your goblets and staffs! BURNINATED!!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;crank&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the well before putting pebbles in the bucket) - &quot;It looks rusted in place.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well after putting pebbles in the bucket) - &quot;That is a bonafide crank. It seems to work now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;curtain/beads&quot;''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;That thing's awesome. You always wanted one for your dorm room but your roommate was a total drag and said no.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;desk&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the archery range) - &quot;It says 'archery' on it. My wife's drunk.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn) - &quot;There's a broken bell and a piece of parchment on there.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;Just a door. A door with a note on it.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;A wicked beaded curtain hangs in the doorway.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Listen to you, &quot;look door&quot; What kinda gaming is that? It's a door and it's closed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Cool Ranch. Your old favorite.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fence&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;A particularly rickety peasant-issue fence. Trogdor uses bits of these as toothpicks.&quot;<br /> ***(by haystack/Jhonka's cottage/Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;A standard peasant fence. Trogdor makes milk's meat outta these things.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Wow! There's a hole in it on THIS side too!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;A cloud of buttflies fly around the horse's butt.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;footprints/tracks&quot;''' (when the Kerrek is present) - &quot;It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;footprints/tracks&quot;''' (when the Kerrek is not present) - &quot;If you weren't a simpleton you might think these were Kerrek prints. But since you are a simpleton, you just go, 'Yay! Piggies!' &quot;<br /> **'''&quot;ground&quot;''' - &quot;Hey, it's your old fireproof map of Peasantry.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;hay&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;It reminds you of a warm, safe place where as a child you'd hide.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Hay is for horses!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;This bag o' bones looks like he's headed for the glue factory. He's got the name 'Poor Gary' branded onto his hide.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in hay&quot;''' (at the hay bale) - &quot;You search and search through the haystack. Nope. No needles.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;It's dark and welly in there. Smell like stank too.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;inn&quot;''' (outside the inn) - &quot;Looks okay from out here. But do they have a free breakfast buffet?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (at the Jhonka's cottage when he's outside) - &quot;The Jhonka is gray and grody. He's got a cromagnon forehead and jaw with a pair of wicked incisors. He sports an old loin-cheese cloth and carries either a big club or one of those roasted turkey legs you got at the Ren Fest.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - &quot;It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!&quot;<br /> ***(while he's decomposing) - &quot;He dead. You didn't think he could have smelled any worse? Well, guess what: He smells worse.&quot;<br /> ***(when he's all bones) - &quot;He dead. He wasn't fat, he was just big boned! Poor pig-man.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;knight/man/dude/guy&quot;''' (at the mountain pass) - &quot;He looks way cooler than you.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lady/woman&quot;''' <br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she's still there) - &quot;Typical pasty peasant woman, overbearing and judgemental&lt;!-- sic --&gt;. Obsessed with goods and land.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, after she's gone) - &quot;I can't believe you thought you had a chance with her!/Dork!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lake&quot;''' (at the fisherman's lake) - &quot;Why it's half a lake.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;lake/water&quot;''' (at the lake with pebbles) - &quot;It extends onto the next screen and has a sandy shore.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;lantern&quot;'''<br /> ***(while unlit; at the burninated trees) - &quot;It's unlit at the moment. That fancy pants royal knight probably lights it on nights when Troggie's on the prowl.&quot;<br /> ***(while lit; at the burninated trees) - &quot;It's lit! Musta been a Trogdor sighting tonight.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lightning&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff) - &quot;Scary. Like Auntie Gerelda's crow's feet.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;man&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;He's an older peasant with big cotton swabs stuffed up his nose. Oh wait. Those are nose hairs. Grody.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;man/guy/peasant/old guy/old man&quot;''' (at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot;An older peasant sits silently in a boat with his line in the water.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;ned&quot;''' (at the wavy tree, when Naked Ned is peeking out) - &quot;A fairly naked man is peeking out behind that tree.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;openings&quot;''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;They're mysterious and out of reach. Like girls were to you in high school.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;painting&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;It's a painting of dogs playing 'Magic: The Nerdening.'&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;paper&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;It says, 'Note to self: Wave arms wildly!'&quot;<br /> ***(at your burninated cottage) - &quot;Hey, it's your old fireproof map to Peasantry.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pillow&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;If you sleep in that bed, you're NOT putting your head on that nasty pillow.&quot;<br /> ***(in the woman's cottage) - &quot;Swedish foam. Your favorite.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pot&quot;''' (in the inn after getting a room) - &quot;It's full of horse grease. I guess that sounds useful.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rock&quot;'''<br /> ***(by the stream) - &quot;The ages have worn this rock down. It is a rock of ages. Still a-rollin.&quot;<br /> ***(at the mud patch) - &quot;That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage after removing it) - &quot;Some jerk removed a loose stone from the back of the cottage.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rug&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Maybe that used to be a magic carpet. But it's sure a cat pee-stained carpet now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;sand&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake) - &quot;One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty two... One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty three... Drat! You lost count again.&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the pebbles) - &quot;Remember those pebbles on the beach? Man, those were good times.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;shelf&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Nothing but a bag of chicken feed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;sign&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the mountain pass) - &quot;What that sign there? That sign says 'Trogdor.'&quot;<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;If you can't read that sign, you need to quit playing this game.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;stump&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated trees) - &quot;NOT a good place to sit.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;You run out of ideas as to what to do next, and stare at the stump.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;target&quot;''' (at the archery range) - &quot;Hey, they had those same targets at Peasant Scout Camp!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated trees) - &quot;Severely burninated. They could probably use some salve.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown!&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Dude, and then the elf, like, totally climbed up it. It was awesome!&quot;<br /> ***(at the wavy tree) - &quot;It's weird and wavy.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well) - &quot;That's one orange tree alright.&quot;<br /> ***(at the yellow tree) - &quot;You're really hurtin' for puzzle solutions, huh?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trees&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You are an incredibly boring person.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Trogdor's lair, while he's asleep) - &quot;Holy crap! Trogdor's way bigger in person than he looks in most tapestries you've seen. All of the sudden, losing your cottage doesn't seem so bad anymore.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's lair, when he's awake) - &quot;Trogdor is looming menacingly over you with a tiny wee sword stuck in his belly. He looks like he's gonna kill you really soon.&quot;<br /> ***(at mountain pass) - I know it's labeled 'Trogdor,' but it's really just a sign, silly. I mean, attack it if you want...<br /> **'''&quot;water&quot;''' (by the stream) - Got a rock in it.<br /> **'''&quot;waterfall&quot;''' (at the waterfall) - &quot;Upon closer inspection, you discover it's not magical. That's just mist, not magic sparkles or anything.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Pretty average. You're not a big well person. You're more into bridges. It does have a cute little bucket though. Your dad liked buckets. Oh, and there's a metal crank too. Meemaw loved cranks.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;window&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;Check it out! There's an INN in there.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn) - &quot;Check it out! There's a Peasantry out there!&quot;<br /> <br /> ===M===<br /> *'''&quot;make friends with kerrek&quot;''' - &quot;Look, it didn't work for Strongbad [sic] and it's not gonna work for you either.&quot; (As seen in [[for kids]])<br /> *'''&quot;map&quot;''' (before you find the map; anywhere) - &quot;We are neither confirming nor denying the presence of a map in this game, but irridisregardless, you don't have one.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===N===<br /> <br /> ===O===<br /> *'''&quot;open _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - &quot;It's locked. With one o' them SCHLAGE deadbolts, too. Those things are hard core.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;How? There's no knob.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - &quot;It's already open. Since this is an adventure game we're gonna proffer you adventure yourself on in there.&quot;<br /> ***(at the inn, while it's closed) - &quot;It's locked fast!&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn, before getting a room) - &quot;'That's the pantry,' says the Innkeeper. 'Employees only.'&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage when it's open) - &quot;Yeah, totally! Except it's already open you moron.&quot;<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage after getting the robe and closing the drawer) - &quot;You already closed it, which was nice, and so we gave you some points. Let sleeping drawers lie.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===P===<br /> *'''&quot;party&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You are part of the Whig party. They are making gangrene-awareness their number one campaign priority.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;pet horse/poor gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Aww, that's sweet. Poor Gary tries in vain to bite your arm off.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;play game&quot;''' (at the archery range, before saying &quot;haldo&quot; to Dongolev) - &quot;The gallery's not open and you got no bow or arrows, Cupid.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;put _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Where you wanna toss em?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby in well/bucket&quot;''' (at the well, before getting the baby) - &quot;Hmmmm... A baby, eh? You check your sundial. Babies-R-Us is probably closed by now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby in well&quot;'''<br /> ***(after getting the sub) - &quot;Li'l tyke seems to enjoy the ride, but - thin or not - we've got a plot to advance here.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well with the baby) - &quot;Jeez man! At least put the poor little guy in the bucket! Give him a fighting chance!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles&quot;''' - &quot;Where you wanna toss em?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles in bucket&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the well, when you don't have them) - &quot;Find some pebbles first and you might have the makings of a good idea. About time.&quot;<br /> ***(after getting the maskus) - &quot;We've already been through this exercise and it went pretty well, ya?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles in well&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the well, when you have them) - &quot;Then it'd be tough to get them back. You never go ANYWHERE without your rocks&quot;<br /> ***(at the well, when you don't have them) - &quot;Riiight, right. Which ones?&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;[[pwd]]&quot;''' - Prints on-screen your location as a (fake) directory.<br /> <br /> ===Q===<br /> *'''&quot;quit&quot;''' - &quot;Well fine Boring Sanders! Hope you saved your game cause it is OVER between us!&quot; '''Warning:''' The game still quits.<br /> <br /> ===R===<br /> *'''&quot;ride horse/poor gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Naw, snapping horse spines just doesn't seem as cool as it did in high school.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;ring bell&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Instead of ringing or dinging, it just goes DUNG.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===S===<br /> *'''&quot;save&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;scare horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before getting the mask) - &quot;You tell Gary the &quot;THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!&quot; one but he doesn't act very scared. He's probably heard it before.&quot; '''or:''' &quot;You tell Gary about how much cholesterol is in hay and how his arteries are probably all black and clogged. He shrugs it off.&quot; '''or:''' &quot;You tell Gary the story about the kid who pops this big zit he has and all these baby spiders come out. It doesn't phase him.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;sit on stump&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Are you THAT bored?! Do some questing already!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;skip stones&quot;''' (at the west side of the lake) - &quot;You've always been terrible at skipping stones. And you're even worse at just plain throwing rocks in lakes. You decide to save yourself the embarrassment.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;sleep&quot;'''<br /> **(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;That's probably how the first baby got here. Forget it.&quot;<br /> **(in the inn while the man is there) - &quot;You probably want to talk to that stinky old guy over there about that.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;smell/sniff&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Smells like a computer game.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;swim&quot;'''<br /> **(at the rock in the river) - &quot;Peasants can't swim. Like, it's illegal.&quot;<br /> **(at the waterfall) - &quot;That waterfall would probably churn you into one of those weight-gain protein smoothies.&quot;<br /> **(at the west side of the lake) - &quot;Not in this game, Swimmer [[Dan]]! In this game, you drown.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===T===<br /> *'''&quot;talk&quot;'''<br /> **(at the archery range, while away from or behind the desk) - &quot;Why don't you saddle up to the front of the table there, cowboy?&quot;<br /> **(at the archery range, after beating the minigame) - &quot;Go away!&quot; says Dongolev. &quot;We're arguing about who's hotter,&quot; adds Mendelev.<br /> **(at wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- &quot;You startled him and he disappears!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;talk ____&quot;'''<br /> **'''(someone not in the screen, inanimate, or nonexistent; anywhere)''' - &quot;It's sad when you have to make up people to talk to.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage, before you get the baby) - &quot;You say some cute, stupid stuff and the baby just blows snot bubbles.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen when he's there) - &quot;Your attempts at conversation are met with horse grunts and tail flaps. Which is better than you do at conversation with most people.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (while inside the hay) - &quot;Not now! You'll blow your cover!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - &quot;Me llamo Julio,' you begin... It seems only to further anger the already temperamental Kerrek. That stupid 'Learn Kerrek in 3 Weeks' cassette did nothing for you!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lady&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage after she's gone) - &quot;You'd call out her name and let it ring through the empty room, enveloping you in sorrow, but you don't actually know her name.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;Naked Ned&quot;''' (at the wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- &quot;'Never speak of this meeting!' says the nudie and he disapperars.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;''' (at the wavy tree) - &quot;Trees can't talk but a breeze picks up and you swear the leaves whisper the words 'Naked Ned.' Weird.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;''' (in Trogdor's lair while he's asleep) - &quot;You yell some choice expletives at Trogdor but he doesn't wake up. There's a cool echo, though.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;well&quot;''' (At the well) &quot;You yell into the well and enjoy the echo. Keep in mind there are no stereos yet.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;this sucks&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;throw _____&quot;'''<br /> **(anything but the feed; at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot; 'That isn't gonna work for bait!' the old man screams, at a needlessly harsh volume.&quot;<br /> **(anything; when the fisherman is gone) - &quot;You already fed the fish. Let's get moving, here, people!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but the west side of the lake) - &quot;Hmmm. Maybe try someplace else.<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake before getting the baby) - &quot;I think you misread the walkthrough on GameFAQs. You gotta get the baby first.&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the soda) - &quot;Baby Dashing is a little waterlogged from the toss, and you read his soft gurgling to mean that there's no more soda left.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere without the baby) - &quot;You don't even have two babies to rub together.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the east side of the lake before getting the feed) - &quot;You have nothing with which to do that...with.&quot;<br /> ***(at the east side of the lake after throwing the feed) - &quot;You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!&quot; (The repetition is probably just a goof.)<br /> *'''&quot;try&quot;''' - (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Okay, fine. You try to cut off your hard-earned extremities. It doesn't work. You dead. Thanks for nothing.&quot; '''Warning:''' You die.<br /> *'''&quot;turn crank&quot;'''<br /> **(at the well, on the other side of the screen) - &quot;You got a short reach to match your short pants. Try standing closer to that crank.&quot;<br /> **(at well, after you get the maskus) - {first time} &quot;Down she goes! You could do this all day!&quot; {second time} &quot;The drama grips you, but the bucket is empty. On the bright side, you're getting a pretty sweet workout for your Deltoidus Rex muscles.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===U===<br /> *'''&quot;use/deploy baby&quot;'''<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, before getting the baby) - &quot;Swell idea, but is you ain't my baby? I.e. you ain't got one?&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, before moving the stone) - &quot;Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm.&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, after the baby has left) - &quot;Li'l P.B. has moved on, and the door seems to be open...I can't see why we'd go through this all over again.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;use pebbles&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;What do you propose to do with them? Discuss.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===V===<br /> <br /> ===W===<br /> *'''&quot;wake up trogdor&quot;''' - &quot;Troggie...&quot;, you murmur. &quot;Troggie, wake up it's time for Burnination school.&quot; He's not budging.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;wear _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (after getting the belt) - &quot;You're already wearing it. Too bad you smell like the trash barge off Peasant Isle.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;mask&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Not on this screen. You've got your image to think about. Actually, you might want to start deliberating on that right now.&quot;<br /> ***(in Poor Gary's glen after scaring him) - &quot;Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;robe&quot;'''<br /> ***(if the robe is not in your inventory) - &quot;You don't have anything but your 'Scalding Lake' t-shirt. And pants. Forgot to mention the pants.&quot;<br /> ***(if you are already wearing the robe) - &quot;You're already in the old skool robe. Represent.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;what the f&amp;mdash;&quot;''' ''([[Swears|uncensored version]])''&lt;!--actually &quot;what the fuck&quot;--&gt; (anywhere) - &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;where&quot;''' (anywhere) - Tells you where you are.<br /> *'''&quot;why&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;I wish I knew.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===X===<br /> <br /> ===Y===<br /> *&quot;'''Yes'''&quot; (to the Jhonka when he asks you about his riches)- &quot;'I KILL YOU!!' screams the Jhonka. ''{The Jhonka clubs you to death}'' Club or turkey leg, the jhonka sure just beat you senseless with whatever he was holding. You dead. Thanks for playing!&quot; '''Warning:''' Obviously, you will die.<br /> <br /> ===Z===<br /> <br /> ===Action Based===<br /> '''Warning:''' All of the below will kill you.<br /> <br /> *'''(Walk too close to the Kerrek)''' - ''{The Kerrek pounds your head into the ground}'' Your mom always told you not to take head poundings from strange Kerreks. And NOW looks what's happened. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Walk in the path of Dongelev's arrows)''' - ''{Dongolev shoots you in the head}'' That guy has no sense. He shot you. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Nice one, William Tell. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Leave the screen after putting the baby in the bucket)''' - Nice try. Ditch the baby at the bottom of the well, eh? Thought you'd be able to just walk away and it's nothing by mead and wenches from now on, huh? Well guess what? You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Hit by rock or pterodactyl when climbing the cliff)''' - ''{You fall to the ground and lie in a heap}'' Oops! You climbed real bad. You knew that you were AVOIDING the rocks, right? Not collecting them. Anyways, nice try. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Walk too close to Trogdor while he's asleep)''' - ''{Trogdor burninates you without waking up}'' Yow. Looks like you got a little too close. You dead. Maybe next time don't get too close.<br /> <br /> {{Peasant's Quest}}<br /> [[Category:Peasant's Quest]] [[Category:Lists]]</div> Mon, 18 Jun 2007 18:52:58 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Talk:Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses <p>GWR 2004:&#32;/* G */ Add dash, yet another quote</p> <hr /> <div>[[Image:PQ_look_footprints.png|thumb|300px|&gt; LOOK FOOTPRINTS]]<br /> The [[Peasant's Quest]] game relies on text commands to complete objectives in the game. While there are programmed responses to all of the necessary actions in the game's storyline, the game contains many responses to unproductive commands as well.<br /> <br /> {| border=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;toc&quot;<br /> ! align=&quot;center&quot; | {{int:toc}}<br /> |-<br /> | align=&quot;left&quot; |<br /> *[[#Walkthrough Messages|1 Walkthrough Messages]]<br /> *[[#The Three Keepers' Messages|2 The Three Keepers' Messages]]<br /> **[[#The First Keeper|2.1 The First Keeper]]<br /> **[[#The Second Keeper|2.2 The Second Keeper]]<br /> **[[#The Third Keeper|2.3 The Third Keeper]]<br /> *[[#Area Descriptions|3 Area Descriptions]]<br /> *[[#Other Productive Responses|4 Other Productive Responses]]<br /> **[[#Constructive Conversations|4.1 Constructive Conversations]]<br /> **[[#Useful Documents|4.2 Useful Documents]]<br /> **[[#Helpful Hints|4.3 Helpful Hints]]<br /> *[[#Unproductive Responses|5 Unproductive Responses]]<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==Walkthrough Messages==<br /> {{spoiler}}<br /> The following are the messages displayed while completing the minimal number of tasks to achieve a perfect score. Note that different messages may be displayed for a game completed differently (e.g. if the Three Keepers' questions are answered), and that there are [[#Unproductive Responses|many other messages]] that may be displayed in response to inputs that are not constructive and/or not essential to completion of the game.<br /> <br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Points !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || YOU are Rather Dashing, a humble peasant living in the peasant kingdom of Peasantry.&lt;br&gt;You return home from a vacation on Scalding Lake only to find that TROGDOR THE BURNINATOR has burninated your thatched roof cottage along with all your goods and services.&lt;br&gt;With nothing left to lose, you swear to get revenge on the Wingaling Dragon in the name of burninated peasants everywhere. || 3B<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || You head east towards the mountain atop which TROGDOR lives. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || That's a nice looking lake. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || You can start playing in a second here. || 2D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || Okay, go for it. || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || get pebbles || You grab up a handful of fairly substantial pebbles. You make sure to get an even mix of sedentary, igneous, and, um, sureptitious rocks. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || put rocks in bucket || You plunk all your pebbles into the bucket. The weight causes it to descend to the bottom of the well with a quickness! || 1D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || turn crank || &quot;The crank seems to have loosened and you haul the bucket back up. What's this? Why there's a monster maskus in there! No doubt leftover from some pagan ritual. Silly pagans.&lt;br&gt;You grab up the scary moster maskus. Man, this thing could scare a horse! || 1D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || talk man || &quot;Oh, hi. I'm Mendelev,&quot; says the archer. &quot;I used to run a shooting range here with my brother Dongolev. But we don't talk so much anymore. I haven't seen him in a Jhonka's age. If you ever run into him, telll him I said 'haldo'.&lt;br&gt;&quot;You mean 'hello,'&quot; you ask?&lt;br&gt;&quot;Oh, um. No. Shut up. I said 'haldo' and I meant 'haldo.' Tell him I said 'haldo.'&quot;<br /> || 2D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || wear mask || You slip on the hideous monster maskus.&lt;br&gt;You scared the crap outta Poor Gary! He broke on through to the other side! || 1A<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || haldo || the archer stops arching and turns to you. &quot;My brother told you to tell me haldo? He must want to start the old business back up!&quot; || Hidden glen<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || get arrow || You pick out a really good one and yank it from the tree. Hooray! Now you have an arrow! || Hidden glen<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || get chicken feed || You used to eat this stuff like crazy when you were a kid and your parents weren't watching (which was all too often). You grab several large handfuls. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || the baby lady calls after you, &quot;Hey, you're on some quest right? Well, the little squirt here lost something of mine in the yard the other day. It's yours if you can find it.&quot; || Baby lady cottage<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (first bush) || You reach into the bush to snag some berries but they all just squish in your hand. || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (second bush) || Man, nothing in this bush but squished berries either. || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (third bush) || Too bad you don't want any squished berries, cuz hey: jackpot! || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 2 || get berries (fourth bush) || You reach into the bush to snag you some berries but instead find a Super Trinket! These things are awesome! You have a sneaking suspicion that SOMEONE in this game will need this thing. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || throw chicken feed || You toss the feed into the lake. You shed a tear for each one. &quot;Goodbye, Monty&quot; you sniff. &quot;Bye Delga, Rasputin. Farewell, Combledon!&quot; and so forth.&lt;br&gt;Woah! That crotchety old man just caught a pantload of fish! &quot;Now I can get back to running the inn,&quot; he says and rows to shore and hauls his boat out and cleans, guts, and filets all the fish and a buncha other stuff we didn't animate. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || give super trinket || &quot;That'll work,&quot; says Mendelev. Just hit 3 bullseyes and you win the SuperTime FunBow TM!&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;The ARROW KEYS aim left and right and the SPACE BAR operates the bow. You'll need to press it a couple of times to get a nice shot off but we don't give lessons so you're on your own.&quot; || 2C<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (get [X]=3-5 bullseyes) || &quot;Nice shootin! [X] hits.&quot; Says Mendelev. &quot;Here's your prize!&quot; You got the SuperTime FunBow TM! We don't sell ammo, so you'll have to find your own arrows for it. || 2C<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || shoot Kerrek with bow || Here goes nothin', Kid Icarus&lt;br&gt;ARROWED!! Nice shot. You smote the Kerrek! He lay there stinking.&lt;br&gt;A light rain heralds the washing free of the Kerrek's grip on the land. You're feeling pretty good, though, so the artless symbolism doesn't bug you. || 1B or 4C<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || get belt || You strap the Kerrek's belt buckle around your waist. Oh boy. You sure stink now. || 1B or 4C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || (walk into mud puddle) || Now you've done it! You're covered in sticky, albeit fine smelling, mud. Your &quot;Scalding Lake&quot; T-shirt is all soiled, too. You just washed it last harvest! || 2B<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || jump into hay || You've not known much better than a roll in the hay alone.&lt;br&gt;You leap in the hay like a two years old boy. Uh oh. The hay sticks to your muddy body. You're a walking hay bale! Just like that one guy from that one show! || 2A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (walk to Jhonka's cave) || Hey, nice disguise! The Jhonka doesn't seem to notice you. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 7 || steal riches || Oh OH! A stiff breeze blew all the hay and, surprisingly, the mud off of you! &quot;You take my riches?!&quot; growls the Jhonka. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || No || &quot;Okay. Lemme know if you see riches anywhere,&quot; he grunts and goes back to his hopping. You smooth talker, you. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give riches || &quot;My riches!!&quot; she screams and snatches up every last gold coin. &quot;Thanks, sucker! Here you go!&quot; she shoves the baby into your hands and bolts out the door.&lt;br&gt;You later learn that she does this all the time and is wanted throughout the countryside. Those riches probably WERE the Jhonka's and who knows whose baby that is. Well, it's yours now. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || This place is dead anyway. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || throw baby || Something tells you this is a good idea and you lob the little one into the lake.&lt;br&gt;You won't be arrested after all! The little guy has resurfaced safely, carrying an old bottle of soda. You take the soda and stow your swaddling buddy for takeoff. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || put baby in bucket || Okay, Father of the Year. You put a baby in a bucket and it quickly descends deep into the well. Yours is a black, black heart. || 1C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || turn crank || You haul the bucket back up. Lucky for you, the baby is still in it and appears to be unscathed. As a bonus, it looks like he found a Meatball sub down there. Score! You take the sub.&lt;br&gt;Oh, and the baby. You take the baby. || 1C<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give baby || &quot;Well lookit that little guy!&quot; says the Innkeeper. &quot;You want a treat, do ya? What do babies like?&quot; He fishes around in his pockets.&lt;br&gt;&quot;Um, how bout my medication!&quot; You grab the bottle of pills before he can force them on the baby. &quot;Hey, those were for him!&quot; || inn<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || move rock || You slide the stone over to reveal a little hole. If only you could cut off your arms, legs, and head you might be able to squeeze through! || 4A<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || put baby into the hole || Deploying Q-Baby...&lt;br&gt;Way to go, baby! It got the cottage door opened and headed off to a new life. He becomes Valedictorian of his graduating class, goes to Scalding Lake State, gets a degree in Advanced Peasantry and lands a job at Thatch-Pro: building better cottages for a better tomorrow.&lt;br&gt;You grow apart and the letters from him become fewer and fewer. He develops a severe mead problem and blames you for never being there. || 4A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open drawer || There's a vintage peasant robe in there! Just like grampa used to wear. || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || get robe || Yeah! Get that robe! || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || close drawer || Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint. || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || wear robe || You slip into the vintage robe. It smells like grampa's lap. Now you're lookin like a serious peasant. || anywhere<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || get room || &quot;Okay, youngster,&quot; says the decrepit old person. &quot;Just bed on down for the night and I'm sure I'll remember to collect the fee come morning.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Night falls like a bad power point presentation.&lt;br&gt;What an uncomfortable bed! You sleep for maybe 20 minutes before the extreme pain in your spine forces you to get up.|| Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || get pot || You reach way up to the top shelf.&lt;br&gt;Oh great! Now you can't see a thing and your head is covered in highly flammable horse grease. You better get out of here before that disgusting old man comes back. || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (exiting inn with pot on head) || Phew! You discard the big black pot and wipe the horse grease from your eyes. The hood of your robe is still covered in highly flammable horse grease, though. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || (walking under candle in burninated trees) || Whoa! The horse grease on your robe caught fire! You're a for-real peasant now. || 4E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (exiting 4E) || Man, screens sure get light fast around here. || 1E, 3E, or 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 7 || talk knight || Lookin good, Mr. Peasant. Good luck with ol' Beefy Arm up there.&lt;br&gt;This is it! You can finally get revenge on Trogdor! Nice work so far, stupid!&lt;br&gt;Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter.&lt;br&gt;Disk read error. Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter. || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || climb || With a new determination you dig your fingers into the cliff face and begin to haul yourself up the mountain like you were in a sports drink commercial&lt;br&gt;The mountain starts rumbling and big loose boulders start tumblin down. You'd best avoid thems. || Cliff base<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (successfully climbing the cliff without dying) || Nice jorb climbing the cliff. You have a real way with those arrow keys. || Cliffland heights<br /> |-id=&quot;bribery_route&quot;<br /> | 0 || (approached by first keeper) || Foolish peasant! How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!&lt;br&gt;You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!&lt;br&gt;You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.&lt;br&gt;And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.&lt;br&gt;Unless you happen to have something to eat on ya. Then we could forego my question. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give sandwich || No way! I was just kidding but you've really got a meatball sub. This rules! Here, you can have the Trog-Shield. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (approached by second keeper) || Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!&lt;br&gt;Or we could call it even if I had an ice cold drink right now. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give soda || Sweet deal, peasant. I underestimated you. Wear this Trog-Helmet with style. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (approached by third keeper) || Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!&lt;br&gt;That is, unless you've got something for my lower back. Man, it's killin me! || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give pills || Whoa! Where'd you find this stuff? I don't think this is even legal anymore. These babies'll definitely smote LUMBAGO the, um, LOWER BACKINATOR!!&lt;br&gt;The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (enter Trogdor's cave) || the beaded curtain slams shut behind you. There's no turning back now. || Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 7 || throw sword || This is it! You hurl the Trog-Sword with all your might at the sleeping Burninator.&lt;br&gt;Now you've done it! Trogdor's awake and the Trog-Sword doesn't seem to be doing a whole lot.&lt;br&gt;Your legs lock in fear, your eyes glaze over and you wish for some Depeasant adult undergarments. But you think you hear Trogdor whimpering!&lt;br&gt;Aw crap, that's you whimpering. At least your voice still works, I guess.|| Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 10 || talk trogdor || You scream that your name is Rather Dashing and that Trogdor burninated your cottage and you're here for revenge!&lt;br&gt;&quot;Sup, mortal,&quot; booms Trogdor. &quot;I really appreciate you making the effort to come all the way up here and vanquish me and all. But, I'm kinda indestructible.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Yeah, I can't be killed. I'm surprised nobody mentioned that to you. I'll admit though, you've gotten farther than anybody else ever has. I bet they'll make a statue or something in honor of you somewheres.&lt;br&gt;&quot;I can honestly say it'll be a pleasure and an honor to burninate you, Rather Dashing.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Aw that sure was nice of him!&lt;br&gt;Congratulations! You've won! No one can kill Trogdor but you came closer than anybody ever! Way to go! || Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Peasant's Quest&lt;br&gt;Written by Matt, Jonathan, and Mike || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Programmed by Jonathan || 1E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Graphics by Mike and Matt || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Quality Assurance Types:&lt;br&gt;Neal Stamper,&lt;br&gt;Don Chapman, and John Radle&lt;br&gt;Nice work on winning and everything.&lt;br&gt;THE END || 3B<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==The Three Keepers' Messages==<br /> There are several messages that the game may return while [[Rather Dashing]] is answering questions of [[The Three Keepers of Trogdor]]. The simplest way to complete this part of the game is to bribe the Keepers; the messages returned in this case are listed [[Peasant's Quest Responses#bribery_route|above]]. If Rather Dashing has not acquired the three items necessary to bribe the Keepers, however, he must answer a question from each of them. The messages returned while answering their questions are listed here.<br /> <br /> ===The First Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!&lt;br&gt;You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!&lt;br&gt;You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.&lt;br&gt;And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> ''The First Keeper will ask you one of the following questions (the correct answer is '''highlighted'''):''<br /> :Okay here goes. What did you win from the Archery game?<br /> :A. SuperBow FunTime TM<br /> :'''B. SuperTime FunBow TM'''<br /> :C. SuperFun BowTime TM<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Okay here goes. What does Mendelev have you tell Dongolev?<br /> :'''A. Haldo'''<br /> :B. Hallo<br /> :C. Allo<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Okay here goes. What is the only creature the Jhonka fears?<br /> :A. Poor Gary<br /> :B. The Baby<br /> :'''C. The Kerrek'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;Ah crap! You're right. Here, take this stupid Trog-Shield!&quot;<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> &quot;Sorry peasant! You fail! And as punishment, you will be turned into...RON CUMBERDALE!!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> You ask who the crap Ron Cumberdale is.<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> &quot;Just this kid from 4th grade that I really hated. But he was a BIG LOSER and HE SMELLED!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Well, you not exactly dead. But there's no way you could defeat Trogdor as Ron Cumberdale. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.<br /> <br /> ===The Second Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> :Listen careful now. Which one of these letters is the letter C?<br /> :A. B<br /> :'''B. C'''<br /> :C. A<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Listen careful now. How many berry bushes are there in the whole kingdom of Peasantry?<br /> :A. 4<br /> :'''B. 5'''<br /> :C. 6<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Listen careful now. What was the Innkeeper's pantry full of?<br /> :A. Epsom Salts<br /> :B. Epson Printers<br /> :'''C. Old Man Rub'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;That's right. Oh. This sucks. Guess I have to give you this Trog-Helmet. Dang.&quot;<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> &quot;WRONG! You are hereby cursed to write corny folk songs for the rest of eternity! The kind that only OLD PEOPLE LIKE!!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Well, you not exactly dead. But you certainly can't face Trogdor after writing 'Wheat Grows Sweet, But My Gal's Sweeter'. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.<br /> <br /> ===The Third Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> :Riddle me this. To whom did the robe you're wearing originally belong?<br /> :A. Nobleman Nicholas<br /> :B. Nina Neverawesome<br /> :'''C. Naked Ned'''<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Riddle me this. What color are the leaves on the tree that grows by the well?<br /> :'''A. Orange'''<br /> :B. Green<br /> :C. Yellow<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Riddle me this. Which way does the river that runs through Peasantry flow?<br /> :A. West to East<br /> :B. Northwest to South<br /> :'''C. Northeast to Southwest'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;Uh oh. You got it right. Trogdor's gonna kill me. Okay, you can have the Trog-Sword. Just promise not to kill any Trogdor's with it, kay?&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> You just stare at the Keeper blankly.<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> &quot;Okay fine! You can have the dumb thing anyways. Trogdor's through the beaded curtain over there.&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant.<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> YES! I was hoping you'd get mine wrong. No Trog-Sword for you. In fact, no skin for you either!<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Wow. You sure dead. You had a good run, though. Thanks for playin.<br /> <br /> ''Note: if you fail to provide &quot;A&quot;, &quot;B&quot;, or &quot;C&quot; as an answer to any of the above questions, the Keeper will ask the question again, replacing the first sentence with the following one:'' Peasant fool! Choose A, B, or C!<br /> <br /> ==Area Descriptions==<br /> By typing &quot;look&quot; in an area, you can receive a description of the surrounding area. Sometimes descriptions change as events come to pass.<br /> <br /> *'''Hidden Glen:''' Well, looky here! A hidden glen! You LOVE hidden glens. This one has some kinda archer in it.<br /> **''{after Dongelev leaves}'' You're in a hidden glen. There's a tree with zillions of arrows in it.<br /> *'''Poor Gary's Glen ([[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|A1]]):''' Hey! There's a rotten ol' horse over there!<br /> *'''Kerrek Tracks 1 (B1):''' There are large hoof prints in the grass here.<br /> **''{no Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the the [sic] grass here. And it smells like a public latrine.<br /> **''{living Kerrek}'' It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!<br /> **''{dead Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. There is a large Kerrek-shaped mound on the grass.<br /> **''{rotting Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Part of the ground looks just like a rotting &lt;!--no capital--&gt;kerrek.<br /> **''{skeletal Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Looks like someone left their spare bones here.<br /> *'''Old Well (C1):''' There's a really generic well here. Oh, and apparently it's autumn on this screen.<br /> *'''Yellow Tree (D1):''' Rushing river [[b/w]] yellow tree.<br /> *'''Waterfall (E1):''' There's a beautiful, magical waterfall cascading down the cliff side.<br /> *'''That Hay Bale (A2):''' Well, there's that big bale of hay over there.<br /> **''{when in hay disguise, anywhere}'' Right now, you see a bunch of hay.<br /> *'''That Mud Puddle (B2):''' There's a dried out mud puddle. It's all caked and cracked like the kind rock stars are always standing on.<br /> **''{when raining}'' Not much to see. 'Sides that big mud puddle.<br /> *'''Archery Range (C2):''' You've come across some kind of shooting gallery. There's a depressed looking archer at the desk there.<br /> *'''River and Stone (D2):''' Not much to see. River's got a rock in it.<br /> *'''Mountain Pass (E2):''' You've reached the mountain pass that leads to Trogdor's lair. A royal knight blocks the entrance.<br /> *'''Jhonka's Cave (A3):''' There's a little cave with a little door with a little note on it.<br /> **''{before getting riches, after Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.&lt;!--No space--&gt;A fat pile of riches lies next to him.<br /> **''{after the Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.<br /> *'''Your Burninated Cottage (B3):''' The remains of your thatched-roof cottage lie before you. You swear revenge against Trogdor.<br /> *'''Pebble Lake West (C3):''' There's definitely half a lake here with a sandy shore.<br /> *'''Pebble Lake East (D3):''' Why it's half a lake.<br /> **''{when the old man is fishing}'' Why it's half a lake.&lt;!--there's no space--&gt;With a fisherman in it. And he's fishing!<br /> *'''Outside Giant Inn (E3):''' There's a giant Inn here. It takes up, like, the entire screen.<br /> **'''Inside Giant Inn:''' What a dump! Only one bed and no minibar? The Innkeeper stands behind the desk and there's a door that's closed.<br /> **'''Inside Giant Inn:''' ''{at night}'' It's still dark out. The grimey old Innkeeper is gone and he left the pantry open.<br /> *'''Outside Mysterious Cottage: (A4)''' There's a run-of-the-mill non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.<br /> **'''Inside Mysterious Cottage:''' This place could use some serious sprucing of the 'up' variety. There's a dresser over there and a broom kind of silhouetted all mysterious like.<br /> *'''Wavy Tree (B4):''' Nothing special here except for that weird wavy tree.<br /> *'''Kerrek Tracks 2 (C4):''' ''{same as Kerrek Tracks 1}''<br /> *'''Outside Baby Lady Cottage (D4):''' There's a ranch-style thatched roof cottage here. There are also what appear to be four crunch berry bushes but you can't be sure.<br /> **'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. A lady rocks her baby in a chair. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.<br /> **'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' ''{after the baby lady leaves}'' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. There is one of those self-rocking chairs. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.<br /> *'''Burninated Trees (E4):''' A signal lantern of some kind hangs from a burninated tree.<br /> **''{at night}'' A burning signal lantern hangs from a severely burninated tree.<br /> *'''Cliff Base:''' You're at the base of a very climbable cliff that leads to Trogdor's lair. This cliff is huge - the kind where rocks start falling down the minute you try to climb it.<br /> *'''Cliffland Heights:''' Wow! It sure gets creepy fast around here! What with all the lightning and scary cave entrances.<br /> *'''Trogdor's Outer Sanctum:''' There are 3 openings with a little cliff in front of each. A beaded curtain hangs in a doorway on the far wall.<br /> *'''Trogdor's Posh Lair:''' You're in a giant cavern which houses a giant dragon. You didn't shrink or anything.<br /> <br /> ==Other Productive Responses==<br /> ===Constructive Conversations===<br /> There are some helpful residents of [[Peasantry]] who will provide you with tips about how to proceed in the game. While these conversations are not necessary for completion of the game, many are important to the game's storyline.<br /> <br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Character !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (at beginning of game) || You explain your situation to the knight. That Trogdor burninated your cottage and you've sworn revenge. You ask for passage up the mountain to settle your score. (Press RETURN to advance through conversations)&lt;br&gt;&quot;Hang on there, Trogdorkilla,&quot; says the knight. &quot;I can only allow actual peasants up the mountain pass to face Trogdor. And you CLEARLY are not one.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Look, Dragonheart...&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;You don't STINK like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;You don't DRESS like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;And you're definitely not ON FIRE like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Once you're those 3 things, come back and maybe we can talk.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Be sure to LOOK around lots. Talk to everyone you see and ASK ABOUT stuff. Type HELP if you get confused and INVENTORY to see your worldly stuff. Type SAVE or LOAD to save or load your game. Duh.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;belt_only&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt) || &quot;Frankly, Matthew Broderick, you sure stink like a peasant. But you still don't DRESS like a peasant and you're not ON FIRE like a peasant.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;robe_only&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Naked Ned's robe) || &quot;My dear Adso, you are dressed well but you don't STINK and you're not ON FIRE. Let us instead exercise our brains and try to solve this tantalizing conundrum.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;belt_and_robe&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt and Naked Ned's robe) || &quot;Almost there, Dirk the Daring. You stink like a peasant and you dress like one too. But you're clearly still not ON FIRE.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | [[Baby Lady &amp; Her Baby#The Baby Lady|The Baby Lady]] || talk lady || &quot;Hello, I'm-&quot; you start but the lady cuts you off&lt;br&gt;&quot;Okay, here's why I let you in here,&quot; she explains. &quot;My husband got squished by Trogdor. And to make matters worse, the insurance riches I got were stolen by Jhonka. Go steal them back for us and I'll give you something great.&quot; || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || talk man (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || You holler at the old man about Trogdor, but he just grumbles about the fish not biting. &quot;Must be using the wrong bait...&quot; he says, suggestively. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || talk man (after throwing chicken feed in lake) || &quot;If you're interested in staying the night, just type 'get a room.'&quot; || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || get a room (without robe)|| &quot;I only serve peasants here, fancypants!&quot; barks the old guy. &quot;Where's your robe?&quot; || Inside giant inn<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ===Useful Documents===<br /> There are a few notes and documents lying around Peasantry that help Rather Dashing on his quest.<br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Item !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | [[Peasant's Quest Items#map|Map]] || get map || You tuck it nice-like into your short, short pants. Type MAP at nearly any time to check the map. || 3B<br /> |-<br /> | Note on [[Old Man]]'s door || read note (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || It says, &quot;Gone Fishin&quot; just like that grog coozie your cousin got you. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | Note on [[Jhonka]]'s door || read note (before killing [[Kerrek]]) || It says &quot;scared of kerrek. go way. -j&quot; || 3A<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ===Helpful Hints===<br /> At times when you stray from the correct path in the game, the computer will respond with suggestions to help keep you on the right track.<br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! Action !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | After jumping in the haystack, go from 2A to any screen except 3A || Drat. The winds are heavy on all but a couple of key screens... looks like you're no longer in stealth mode. || 1A or 2B<br /> |-<br /> | Type any command while the pot of horse grease is on your head || You need to get out of there before that smelly octogenarian gets back. || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | Type any command other than &quot;Talk&quot; or &quot;Talk Trogdor&quot; after Trogdor wakes up || Trogdor is awake and a couple seconds from a Rather Dashing BBQ. Might as well say your peace with him. || Trogdor's Posh Lair<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==Unproductive Responses==<br /> [[Image:closedrawer.PNG|thumb|300px|&gt; CLOSE DRAWER]]<br /> There are many messages that the game gives you when you input commands that are not essential to the game's storyline. Here is a list of all that have been found. When more than one option is given, such as &quot;get/take _____&quot;, either word will produce the same response.<br /> <br /> <br /> {{compactTOC3}}<br /> {{clear}}<br /> ===#===<br /> <br /> ===A===<br /> *'''&quot;Ask about _____&quot;:'''<br /> **'''Baby:'''<br /> ***(to Baby Lady) - &quot;This little guy's all I got left. If only someone would steal back all our riches from that filthy Jhonka.&quot;<br /> **'''Fire:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Well, whenever I see peasants, they tend to be on fire. So get yourself on fire. I hear horse grease gives a nice, controlled burn.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;You need fire? A couple of trees over by the waterfall used to be on fire. But now there's like a signal lantern over there or something.&quot; / &quot;So should I ask that signal lantern?&quot; you ask. / &quot;I dunno man! Whattaya want from me?&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Trogdor just burned down some idiot peasant's cottage. You should ask him,&quot; says Mendelev. / &quot;Yeah, this jerk goes on vacation to some prancey lake and...&quot; / They see you staring daggers at them and turn bright red. / &quot;Oh. Nevermind,&quot; says Dongolev. &quot;Um, yeah. What's a fire?&quot; adds Mendelev.<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Burninator make fire! Barbecue all peasants!&quot;<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I've always preferred being on fire at night. Looks prettier and keeps the butterflies away.&quot;<br /> **'''Jhonka:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Since the Kerrek showed up, we don't see the Jhonka so much anymore. He lives in that little cave over in west Peasantry.&quot;<br /> ***(to Baby Lady) - &quot;That nasty thing killed my husband and took my riches!!&quot; / &quot;I thought Trogdor killed your husband,&quot; you interject. / &quot;Oh right. Yeah. That's what I said. Trogband killed my husbdor.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;The Kerrek is dead!&quot; he cries and hops around some more. You wonder how someone this primitive could have made that much dough.<br /> **'''Kerrek:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I call him Big Stinky. He's slow and stupid, but he'll pound you into milks meat without a second thought.&quot;<br /> **'''Naked Ned:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;That weirdo used to live over in west Peasantry but now I guess he just prances around the forest in his birthday suit.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;Don't talk about that pervert in front of the baby here.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;That guy creeps us out. In fact, shut up about him.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Filthy naked peasant! Stay away from my cave-hole!&quot; Who's he calling naked? HE'S the one wearing the string bikini.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;He used to be such a nice, clothed young man. Wonder what he's done with all his old clothes?&quot;<br /> **'''robe:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Peasants wear those brown robes. You know, with the rope around the waist. Get yourself one of those.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;You can't have mine, pervert! I'm not a nudist peasant like that weirdo over in west Peasantry!&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;We wouldn't know. We only wear archer clothes. You just can't arch real well in a robe, y'know?&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - ''see naked ned''<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I wear my robe hood-down so it's easier to trim my ear-hairs. If you need a robe, maybe try someone that's not using theirs.&quot;<br /> **'''smell:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I never met a peasant that didn't stink. If you wanna smell bad, get the Kerrek involved. That thing reeks!&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;What smells is junior here's drawers! I gotta quit feeding him so much horse!&quot; / &quot;And don't start asking me for his diapers, sicko!&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;That giant pig running around sure smells bad. Maybe talk to him.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Kerrek smell! Now Kerrek dead!&quot; screeches the Jhonka. So you can infer from this that all smells are dead? You always sucked at the analytical questions.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;Well, if you don't stink, maybe find something that does and wear it. Like a dead carcass or summat.&quot;<br /> **'''trogdor:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;If I had a gold coin for every whining peasant's cottage that freaking dragon burninated, I'd be rich as a jhonka.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;I hope you kill that stupid dragon. My 'Wives of Squished Peasants' support group would bake you a Poor Gary pie if you did.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Oh man, there was this one time when I came THIS close to having Trogdor ARROWED!&quot; says Dongolev. / &quot;Hey, shut up! That was me!&quot; interrupts Mendelev, &quot;YOU almost arrowed that blue baby!&quot; says Dongolev. [sic] / &quot;Did not!&quot; / &quot;Did so!&quot; / &quot;Did not!&quot; / (You see where this is going.)<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;All hail Burninator! Trogdor Number One! Beat Peasant Tech!&quot; says the grimy Jhonka.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;Are you talking about that young green boy that lives up the street? He's always tearing my roof off and eating my customers.&quot;<br /> **'''anything else:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I don't know anything about that, short pants.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;I dunno what you're talking about.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Either we don't know anything about that, or you're real boring.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Jhonka don't know nothing bout that!&quot;<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I don't know nothing about no whatever you just said.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere else) - &quot;Ask about what?&quot;<br /> : &lt;small&gt;* - You can only ask Mendelev and Dongolev when they're together.&lt;/small&gt;<br /> *'''&quot;attack sign&quot;''' (at the Mountain Pass) - &quot;I was being facetious, Mr. Smarty-short-pants. No sign attacking for you.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===B===<br /> *'''&quot;boo&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Scared me.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;break/kick/punch door&quot;''' (at Outside mysterious cottage) - &quot;Violence is not the answer.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;break sign&quot;''' (at Mountain Pass) - ''See &quot;attack sign&quot;''<br /> *'''&quot;break stump, sit on stump, etc.&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Are you THAT bored? Do some questing already!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;buy kerrek a cold one&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;The kerrek&lt;!--sic--&gt; is a teetotaller and is offended by your offer. You've really cheesed him off now.&quot; '''Warning:''' This speeds the Kerrek up, so be careful. This command was first seen in the email [[for kids]].<br /> <br /> ===C===<br /> *'''&quot;[[The Cheat|cheat]]&quot;''' (or any phrase involving &quot;cheat&quot;; anywhere) - &quot;Meh.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;climb _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;cliff&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere near the bottom of the cliff) - &quot;There aren't enough footholds and you don't have any carabeaners on you.&quot;<br /> ***(at the top of the cliff) - &quot;They don't show how the sports-drink people get down from the cliff. You've no idea how to start.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fence&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;No, you have business to attend to here in Peasantry.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;More like you should walk through that gaping hole in it. Just an idea.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Not going to dignify that with a response.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in bucket&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Your butt is too big.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;No go. Your insurance doesn't cover that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but at the wavy tree or hidden glen) - &quot;But then your hands would get all sappy.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Naw, you'd probably figure out some way to kill yourself doing that.&quot;<br /> ***(at the wavy tree) - &quot;You don't climb wavy trees.&quot;<br /> ***(after getting a room in the inn) - &quot;Naw. That's dumb. Do better.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;close _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Already done. That was easy!&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - &quot;You can't. That baby really wrenched it open good.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;'''<br /> ***(without stealing the robe) - &quot;Right, right. Wouldn't want to leave the robes out where any old guy trying to beat an adventure game could take them.&quot;<br /> ***(when it's closed) - &quot;A riddle: What can be closed that is already closed? (hint: not this drawer)&quot;<br /> ***(after getting the robe) - &quot;Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;cut off arms, legs, and head&quot;''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Very funny. You have trouble cutting out coupons in the weekly 'Peasant Penny-Pincher' circular. I'd like to see you try.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===D===<br /> *'''&quot;[[dan]]&quot;''' (or any phrase involving Dan; anywhere): &quot;Dan's still okay. Got a place on Dekalb with Rick and his wife. Slimmed up a bit and looking towards the future.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;dance&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You'd rather just stand here and soak up the scene.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;die&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;That wasn't very smart. You dead.&quot; '''Warning:''' This kills you.<br /> *'''&quot;drink&quot;''' (or any object after &quot;drink&quot;; anywhere) - &quot;For simplicity's sake you are immune to hunger and thirst in this game. So you got that going for you./Which is nice.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;drop baby&quot;'''<br /> **(once you have baby) - &quot;Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm.&quot; '''or''' &quot;Quit tryin to ditch the baby!&quot;<br /> **(before you have baby) - &quot;You don't even have two babies to rub together.&quot;<br /> **(at the well) - &quot;Like where?&quot;<br /> <br /> ===E===<br /> <br /> ===F===<br /> *'''&quot;feed horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen before scaring him) - &quot;There's a good chance that horse has NEVER eaten. I doubt he'll start now.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===G===<br /> *'''&quot;get a room&quot;''' (when on fire) - &quot;\oard&lt;!-- Yes, it's really a backslash, not a B. That's why &quot;[sic]&quot; is there. --&gt; [sic] of Peasant Health says I can't serve any folk that's on fire. Nothing personal. Well, I mean, I don't like you much anyway.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;get/take/steal _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;(anything not listed and not relevant to the plot)&quot;''' - &quot;You probably WISH you could get that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;arrow&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the archery range) - &quot;They have 'RANGE' printed on them, so it would be kind of embarrassing to have to shoot around with them. Also, that guy over there is giving you the evil eye.&quot;<br /> ***(at the secret glen while Dongolev is there) - &quot;Something tells me now's not a good time.&quot; (you get the arrow anyway and Dongolev shoots you) &quot;It wasn't a good time. Hey, my mom's making peasant-kabobs for dinner TOO! Right. Anyway. You dead. Thanks for playing, and try not to die.&quot; '''Warning:''' As you can see, this kills you.<br /> ***(at the secret glen after getting the first arrow OR at the secret glen after getting the second arrow after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;You're pretty much all set on the arrow front. They're kinda cool, though.&quot;<br /> ***(at the secret glen after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;You grab yet another arrow from the tree hoping to get some bonus points.&quot;<br /> ***(at Kerrek's body after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;Eww! No way. That thing's got some serious Kerrek-Brand kooties on it now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage, while she has the baby) - &quot;'You want to be a part of this family? GO GET US THOSE RICHES!!' she shrieks.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bell&quot;''' (in the inn, after getting a room) - &quot;You can't. It looks like it's been somehow olded&lt;!-- sic --&gt; to the desk.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (after getting it) - &quot;You totally got the belt already, as evidenced by the rancid cloud of odor that follows you like a shadow.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;berries&quot;'''<br /> ***(the same bush twice outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You already searched that bush. It was okay. Nothing to write home about... oh, wait... you don't have a home. My b.&quot;<br /> ***(after you've gotten the trinket, outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You've searched your fill of berry bushes for this game. If you want to search more press 'reload' on the browser&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake) - &quot;NO MAN! JEEZ!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bone/skull&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff) - &quot;Eww. No. Grody. You're grody. No. Eww.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;broom&quot;''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;No, no. The broom is in the foreground and you can't take things from the foreground. You don't see me all typing 'get browser window', do you?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bucket&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;You can't, it's tied to a rope and you're terrible with knots.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;candle&quot;''' (at night, in the inn) - &quot;It seems like you should be able to do that, doesn't it? Sorry. No dice.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;chair&quot;''' <br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is there) - &quot;No. There's a big bag of something in it. Oh, that's the baby lady.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is gone) - &quot;No. Too big for pants.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;club&quot;''' (outside the Jhonka's cottage when he's out) - &quot;Now there's a surefire way to get yourself killed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;You get a hernia from lifting it. -2 Movement points, -10 Constitution. Don't do that again.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage after stealing feed) - &quot;You don't need anymore. It might give rise to old temptations.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fire&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, before getting the horse grease) - &quot;You're just not flammable enough.&quot;<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting the horse grease) - &quot;You don't need to get IT. Just let IT get YOU.&quot;<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting on fire) - &quot;You're already on fire! What? You want to be MORE on fire?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;You nasty. Besides, they wouldn't survive a minute away from that horse's butt.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;gold/money&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Um, that's chicken feed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;grease&quot;''' (inside the inn, at night, when you already got the grease) - &quot;You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;hay&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;Who do you think you are? Some kind of Thy Dungeonman? You don't need any hay.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;There's a huge bale a couple of screens over from here. Why bother stealing?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain whether or not he's still alive) - &quot;Well, he does smell real bad. But he's a bit too big to fit in your pocket.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lantern&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;Better not. There's an engraved plaque on it that says, &quot;Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of 'You Die'.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;mud&quot;'''<br /> ***(when it's wet, before you fall in) - &quot;You can't get the mud so much. More like the mud'll get you.&quot;<br /> ***(when it's wet, after you fall in) - &quot;You've already gotten an heapin' helpin' all up on yo'self.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;map&quot;''' (at your cottage, after you've gotten it) - &quot;Yeah but like you already map the took, guy!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;note&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Jhonka's cave) - &quot;It's been magically sealed to the door with a wondrously whimsical spell.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;What is it with you and notes?! No!!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;old man rub&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;You disgust me.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;paper&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Naw, it might be important to that wrinkly old loon.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;painting&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Weird. It's actually painted right into the wall. Like, the frame and everything.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles&quot;'''<br /> ***(after you've gotten them) - &quot;Come now. We've been through this jaunty little bit before. You took them from the half lake screen with the cattail and stuff.&quot;<br /> ***(from the opposite side of where you get the pebbles) &quot;You do your best Mr. Fantastic impression, but you can't reach them from here.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;plague&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;Wrong game, Mispeller Jones. Try the little button to the left of the 'W'.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;plaque&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;You have enough of that on your browning, rotten peasant teeth already.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pillow&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;Not a chance. There's even more questionable stains on that pillow than there are on that rug.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You don't have anywhere to use it and it is rather bulky, so you leave it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pot&quot;''' (in the inn, after you already have horse grease) - &quot;You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;robe&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, after you've gotten it) - &quot;You still remember the time when you took them. Oh, the times have changed ... but the robes?&quot;<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, when the drawer is closed) - &quot;You reach into the closed drawer and nearly break your hand slamming it. Just like a bird on a pane of glass minus the blamelessness.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rock&quot;'''<br /> ***(by the stream) - &quot;For what? Now you're just making up puzzles to solve.&quot;<br /> ***(at the mud puddle) - &quot;That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me.&quot;<br /> ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage, after moving it) - &quot;You've already moved the stone out of the way to reveal a less-than-peasant-sized hole.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rug&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;You're not touching that thing. Too many questionable stains on it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;stuff/food&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Which foodstuffs?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;target&quot;''' (at the archery range) - &quot;No. Those will fall on you and more than likely kill you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;give _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;(anything not listed)&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;We don't need that mess.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere except for the woman's cottage) - &quot;You don't need to give that now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn, before you get the baby) - &quot;You have no baby nor any immediate prospects.&quot;<br /> ***(in the inn, when you already have the pills) - &quot;You already milked that fogey for all the pills he's worth.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;riches&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, before getting the riches) - &quot;'That's right,' she whines. 'Find my riches, and give here.'&quot;<br /> ***(outside Jhonka's cave, before jumping in hay) - &quot;The Jhonka will see you! And rip out your jugular with his teeth or something equally horrible.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, after giving the riches) - &quot;We did that already, and it was sort of humiliating.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trinket&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot; 'Did you find that thing in my yard?' she asks. 'I got that thing free in a box of Plaguezees. I need some FOR REAL riches!' &quot;<br /> ***(inside woman's cottage after giving trinket to Mendelev) - &quot;'Why are you holding your hand out?' she asks. 'I told you I need riches, so I can't give em away.' You don't have a trinket to give, you realize.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;go _____&quot;''' (anything or letter can be put in here) - &quot;Use the arrow keys, pal. Just like a joypad only more like your day job.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===H===<br /> *'''&quot;haldo&quot;'''<br /> **(anywhere but in the secret glade, before or after talking to Mendelev) - &quot;That's totally not Dongolev.&quot;<br /> **(in the secret glade before talking to Mendelev) - &quot;What'd you read that in PQ Stragedy [sic] Guide? Go talk to my brother first.&quot;<br /> **(in the secret glade after Dongolev leaves) - &quot;Haldo?.' you call out... 'Hadloooooo' [sic] &quot;<br /> **(at the archery Range after Dongolev has returned) - &quot;HALDO!!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;hide in hay&quot;''' (at the hay bale, before getting in) - &quot;Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;hug tree&quot;''' (at the hay bale) - &quot;To every thing, turn, turn, turn. There is a season, turn, turn, turn.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===I===<br /> <br /> ===J===<br /> *'''&quot;jump in hay&quot;''' (by the hay bale, when you're not muddy) - &quot;Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;jump in hay&quot;''' (near the hay bale, when you're muddy but not right next to it) - &quot;Who do you think you are, MJ? Try from a little closer.&quot;<br /> ===K===<br /> *'''&quot;kick/kill/punch poor gary&quot;'''<br /> **(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;You attempt to cause Poor Gary harm for no good reason other than you kinda suck at this game. {Poor Gary kicks you} WOW! For a decrepit old horse, Poor Gary still packs a mean whallop. You dead. Thanks for playing.&quot; '''Warning:''' Needless to say, this kills you.<br /> **(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;kill _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Those flies and that horse's butt have a symbiotic relationship. You have no right to disrupt that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (after he's outside) - &quot;No way! Jhonka's are born scrappers. He may be little, but he'll crawl ya.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is present and you do not have the bow and arrow) - &quot;With what?! You got no weapons except your butter-knife wit.&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the arrow, but not the bow) - &quot;With what?! You gonna throw that arrow at him?&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the bow, but not the arrow) - &quot;With what?! You got no arrow, fool!&quot;<br /> ***(after the Kerrek is dead) - &quot;Yeah. You smote the Kerrek. You deserve a trophy full of Mutton-ums.&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is not there) - &quot;Good idea. But you kinda need the actual Kerrek to be here for that to work.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;''' (while Trogdor's asleep, in his lair) - &quot;Like how?&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;knock&quot;'''<br /> **(at the woman's cottage) - &quot; 'It's open,' says a female voice from inside. Um, it's NOT open, but you get her drift.&quot;<br /> **(at the woman's cottage, after she leaves) - No one answers. That crazy lady took off. How ever will you get past this closed door now?<br /> **(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - &quot;A gravelly voice inside yells, 'JUST US CHICKENS' '''or:''' 'NO FOR RENT' '''or:''' 'I GIVE LAST YEAR!' '''or:''' 'GAVE AT OFFICE' '''or:''' 'GO WAY!'&quot;<br /> **(at the inn, while it's closed) - &quot;No answer.&quot;<br /> **(at the inn, after it's been opened) - &quot;Just open it, man!&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;You could knock until your knuckles bleed. Nobody's home.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;Knock until knuckles bleed&quot;'''<br /> **(at Naked Ned's cottage)-&quot;You knock for about 4 hours until your knuckles are raw and bloody. That was fun!&quot;<br /> **(type it again at Naked Ned's cottage)-&quot;You done that already. A great time was had by all.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===L===<br /> *'''&quot;light lantern&quot;'''<br /> **(at the burninated trees before it is lit) - &quot;With what? Your red-hot intellect?&quot;<br /> **(at the burninated trees after it is lit) - &quot;Already lit, moron.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;load&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;look _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''(at anything, while hiding inside the bale of hay)''' - &quot;Right now, you see a bunch of hay.&quot;<br /> **'''(at something previously in your inventory but now gone)''' - &quot;You used to have one, before the great item blight of 402. Check your INVENTORY to read about it.&quot; <br /> **'''(at something currently in your inventory)''' - &quot;You've totally got one of those! Check your INVENTORY to give'r a serious looksee.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;arrow&quot;''' (at the hidden glen) - &quot;Somebody call a tree doctor. Them puppies are stuck in there like a, um, er ... stuck pig.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage while she has the baby) - &quot;Peasant babies are pretty freaking adorable. This little guy's no exception.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bed&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Is that just a fitted sheet over a slab of concrete?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bell&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Tis broked.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;Yecch. I wouldn't touch that unless it was, like, an important quest item or something.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;berries&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake) &quot;Shut up.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Crunch berries maybe.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;boat/dinghy&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot;Keep your eyes off my dinghy!&quot; <br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake after he is gone) - &quot;It was loaned out to the [[Fishing Challenge '91|Fishing Challenge videogame]].&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bone/skeleton/skull&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff for the bone and skull and in Trogdor's outer sanctum for the skeleton) - &quot;You can't be sure but you think those are dead person bones.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bush&quot;''' (at the west side of the lake) - &quot;Don't worry about that bush. Yeah, there's red berries on it but never you mind.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bushes&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You suspect they might be crunch berry bushes.&quot;<br /> ***(in the hidden glen) - &quot;There's some thick 'ol bushes up in this hidden glen.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;candle&quot;''' (in the inn after getting a room) - &quot;That candle's not at all on fire.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;cave&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the Jhonka's cave) - &quot;Just a little cave. Calm down.&quot;<br /> ***(at the top of the cliff) - &quot;The cave entrance beckons to you like a hot mutton sandwich might.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;chair&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;One of those self-rocking kind. Not bad for a brown-collar peasant-type. Must be trickle-down in action.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;club/turkey leg&quot;''' (at the Jhonka's cave when he's outside) - &quot;Turkey leg or no, it looks like the Jhonka's been gnawing on it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;cottage&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the yellow tree) - &quot;You see a cottage in the distance. You hold your fingers up to one eye and pretend to squash it.&quot;<br /> ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;A run-of-the-mill, non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You had a cottage once. A lot like this one. *sniff* Trogdor will pay!&quot;<br /> ***(at your burninated cottage) - &quot;All your baubles and trinkets, your flasks and scrolls, your goblets and staffs! BURNINATED!!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;crank&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the well before putting pebbles in the bucket) - &quot;It looks rusted in place.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well after putting pebbles in the bucket) - &quot;That is a bonafide crank. It seems to work now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;curtain/beads&quot;''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;That thing's awesome. You always wanted one for your dorm room but your roommate was a total drag and said no.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;desk&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the archery range) - &quot;It says 'archery' on it. My wife's drunk.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn) - &quot;There's a broken bell and a piece of parchment on there.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;Just a door. A door with a note on it.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;A wicked beaded curtain hangs in the doorway.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Listen to you, &quot;look door&quot; What kinda gaming is that? It's a door and it's closed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Cool Ranch. Your old favorite.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fence&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;A particularly rickety peasant-issue fence. Trogdor uses bits of these as toothpicks.&quot;<br /> ***(by haystack/Jhonka's cottage/Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;A standard peasant fence. Trogdor makes milk's meat outta these things.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Wow! There's a hole in it on THIS side too!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;A cloud of buttflies fly around the horse's butt.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;footprints/tracks&quot;''' (when the Kerrek is present) - &quot;It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;footprints/tracks&quot;''' (when the Kerrek is not present) - &quot;If you weren't a simpleton you might think these were Kerrek prints. But since you are a simpleton, you just go, 'Yay! Piggies!' &quot;<br /> **'''&quot;ground&quot;''' - &quot;Hey, it's your old fireproof map of Peasantry.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;hay&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;It reminds you of a warm, safe place where as a child you'd hide.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Hay is for horses!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;This bag o' bones looks like he's headed for the glue factory. He's got the name 'Poor Gary' branded onto his hide.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in hay&quot;''' (at the hay bale) - &quot;You search and search through the haystack. Nope. No needles.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;It's dark and welly in there. Smell like stank too.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;inn&quot;''' (outside the inn) - &quot;Looks okay from out here. But do they have a free breakfast buffet?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (at the Jhonka's cottage when he's outside) - &quot;The Jhonka is gray and grody. He's got a cromagnon forehead and jaw with a pair of wicked incisors. He sports an old loin-cheese cloth and carries either a big club or one of those roasted turkey legs you got at the Ren Fest.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - &quot;It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!&quot;<br /> ***(while he's decomposing) - &quot;He dead. You didn't think he could have smelled any worse? Well, guess what: He smells worse.&quot;<br /> ***(when he's all bones) - &quot;He dead. He wasn't fat, he was just big boned! Poor pig-man.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;knight/man/dude/guy&quot;''' (at the mountain pass) - &quot;He looks way cooler than you.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lady/woman&quot;''' <br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she's still there) - &quot;Typical pasty peasant woman, overbearing and judgemental&lt;!-- sic --&gt;. Obsessed with goods and land.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, after she's gone) - &quot;I can't believe you thought you had a chance with her!/Dork!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lake&quot;''' (at the fisherman's lake) - &quot;Why it's half a lake.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;lake/water&quot;''' (at the lake with pebbles) - &quot;It extends onto the next screen and has a sandy shore.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;lantern&quot;'''<br /> ***(while unlit; at the burninated trees) - &quot;It's unlit at the moment. That fancy pants royal knight probably lights it on nights when Troggie's on the prowl.&quot;<br /> ***(while lit; at the burninated trees) - &quot;It's lit! Musta been a Trogdor sighting tonight.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lightning&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff) - &quot;Scary. Like Auntie Gerelda's crow's feet.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;man&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;He's an older peasant with big cotton swabs stuffed up his nose. Oh wait. Those are nose hairs. Grody.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;man/guy/peasant/old guy/old man&quot;''' (at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot;An older peasant sits silently in a boat with his line in the water.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;ned&quot;''' (at the wavy tree, when Naked Ned is peeking out) - &quot;A fairly naked man is peeking out behind that tree.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;openings&quot;''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;They're mysterious and out of reach. Like girls were to you in high school.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;painting&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;It's a painting of dogs playing 'Magic: The Nerdening.'&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;paper&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;It says, 'Note to self: Wave arms wildly!'&quot;<br /> ***(at your burninated cottage) - &quot;Hey, it's your old fireproof map to Peasantry.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pillow&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;If you sleep in that bed, you're NOT putting your head on that nasty pillow.&quot;<br /> ***(in the woman's cottage) - &quot;Swedish foam. Your favorite.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pot&quot;''' (in the inn after getting a room) - &quot;It's full of horse grease. I guess that sounds useful.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rock&quot;'''<br /> ***(by the stream) - &quot;The ages have worn this rock down. It is a rock of ages. Still a-rollin.&quot;<br /> ***(at the mud patch) - &quot;That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage after removing it) - &quot;Some jerk removed a loose stone from the back of the cottage.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rug&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Maybe that used to be a magic carpet. But it's sure a cat pee-stained carpet now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;sand&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake) - &quot;One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty two... One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty three... Drat! You lost count again.&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the pebbles) - &quot;Remember those pebbles on the beach? Man, those were good times.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;shelf&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Nothing but a bag of chicken feed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;sign&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the mountain pass) - &quot;What that sign there? That sign says 'Trogdor.'&quot;<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;If you can't read that sign, you need to quit playing this game.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;stump&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated trees) - &quot;NOT a good place to sit.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;You run out of ideas as to what to do next, and stare at the stump.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;target&quot;''' (at the archery range) - &quot;Hey, they had those same targets at Peasant Scout Camp!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated trees) - &quot;Severely burninated. They could probably use some salve.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown!&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Dude, and then the elf, like, totally climbed up it. It was awesome!&quot;<br /> ***(at the wavy tree) - &quot;It's weird and wavy.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well) - &quot;That's one orange tree alright.&quot;<br /> ***(at the yellow tree) - &quot;You're really hurtin' for puzzle solutions, huh?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trees&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You are an incredibly boring person.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Trogdor's lair, while he's asleep) - &quot;Holy crap! Trogdor's way bigger in person than he looks in most tapestries you've seen. All of the sudden, losing your cottage doesn't seem so bad anymore.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's lair, when he's awake) - &quot;Trogdor is looming menacingly over you with a tiny wee sword stuck in his belly. He looks like he's gonna kill you really soon.&quot;<br /> ***(at mountain pass) - I know it's labeled 'Trogdor,' but it's really just a sign, silly. I mean, attack it if you want...<br /> **'''&quot;water&quot;''' (by the stream) - Got a rock in it.<br /> **'''&quot;waterfall&quot;''' (at the waterfall) - &quot;Upon closer inspection, you discover it's not magical. That's just mist, not magic sparkles or anything.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Pretty average. You're not a big well person. You're more into bridges. It does have a cute little bucket though. Your dad liked buckets. Oh, and there's a metal crank too. Meemaw loved cranks.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;window&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;Check it out! There's an INN in there.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn) - &quot;Check it out! There's a Peasantry out there!&quot;<br /> <br /> ===M===<br /> *'''&quot;make friends with kerrek&quot;''' - &quot;Look, it didn't work for Strongbad [sic] and it's not gonna work for you either.&quot; (As seen in [[for kids]])<br /> *'''&quot;map&quot;''' (before you find the map; anywhere) - &quot;We are neither confirming nor denying the presence of a map in this game, but irridisregardless, you don't have one.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===N===<br /> <br /> ===O===<br /> *'''&quot;open _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - &quot;It's locked. With one o' them SCHLAGE deadbolts, too. Those things are hard core.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;How? There's no knob.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - &quot;It's already open. Since this is an adventure game we're gonna proffer you adventure yourself on in there.&quot;<br /> ***(at the inn, while it's closed) - &quot;It's locked fast!&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn, before getting a room) - &quot;'That's the pantry,' says the Innkeeper. 'Employees only.'&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage when it's open) - &quot;Yeah, totally! Except it's already open you moron.&quot;<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage after getting the robe and closing the drawer) - &quot;You already closed it, which was nice, and so we gave you some points. Let sleeping drawers lie.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===P===<br /> *'''&quot;party&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You are part of the Whig party. They are making gangrene-awareness their number one campaign priority.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;pet horse/poor gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Aww, that's sweet. Poor Gary tries in vain to bite your arm off.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;[[pwd]]&quot;''' - Prints on-screen your location as a (fake) directory.<br /> *'''&quot;put _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Where you wanna toss em?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby in well/bucket&quot;''' (at the well, before getting the baby) - &quot;Hmmmm... A baby, eh? You check your sundial. Babies-R-Us is probably closed by now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby in well&quot;'''<br /> ***(after getting the sub) - &quot;Li'l tyke seems to enjoy the ride, but - thin or not - we've got a plot to advance here.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well with the baby) - &quot;Jeez man! At least put the poor little guy in the bucket! Give him a fighting chance!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles&quot;''' - &quot;Where you wanna toss em?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles in bucket&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the well, when you don't have them) - &quot;Find some pebbles first and you might have the makings of a good idea. About time.&quot;<br /> ***(after getting the maskus) - &quot;We've already been through this exercise and it went pretty well, ya?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles in well&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the well, when you have them) - &quot;Then it'd be tough to get them back. You never go ANYWHERE without your rocks&quot;<br /> ***(at the well, when you don't have them) - &quot;Riiight, right. Which ones?&quot;<br /> <br /> ===Q===<br /> *'''&quot;quit&quot;''' - &quot;Well fine Boring Sanders! Hope you saved your game cause it is OVER between us!&quot; '''Warning:''' The game still quits.<br /> <br /> ===R===<br /> *'''&quot;ride horse/poor gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Naw, snapping horse spines just doesn't seem as cool as it did in high school.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;ring bell&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Instead of ringing or dinging, it just goes DUNG.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===S===<br /> *'''&quot;save&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;scare horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before getting the mask) - &quot;You tell Gary the &quot;THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!&quot; one but he doesn't act very scared. He's probably heard it before.&quot; '''or:''' &quot;You tell Gary about how much cholesterol is in hay and how his arteries are probably all black and clogged. He shrugs it off.&quot; '''or:''' &quot;You tell Gary the story about the kid who pops this big zit he has and all these baby spiders come out. It doesn't phase him.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;sit on stump&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Are you THAT bored?! Do some questing already!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;skip stones&quot;''' (at the west side of the lake) - &quot;You've always been terrible at skipping stones. And you're even worse at just plain throwing rocks in lakes. You decide to save yourself the embarrassment.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;sleep&quot;'''<br /> **(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;That's probably how the first baby got here. Forget it.&quot;<br /> **(in the inn while the man is there) - &quot;You probably want to talk to that stinky old guy over there about that.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;smell/sniff&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Smells like a computer game.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;swim&quot;'''<br /> **(at the rock in the river) - &quot;Peasants can't swim. Like, it's illegal.&quot;<br /> **(at the waterfall) - &quot;That waterfall would probably churn you into one of those weight-gain protein smoothies.&quot;<br /> **(at the west side of the lake) - &quot;Not in this game, Swimmer [[Dan]]! In this game, you drown.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===T===<br /> *'''&quot;talk&quot;'''<br /> **(at the archery range, while away from or behind the desk) - &quot;Why don't you saddle up to the front of the table there, cowboy?&quot;<br /> **(at the archery range, after beating the minigame) - &quot;Go away!&quot; says Dongolev. &quot;We're arguing about who's hotter,&quot; adds Mendelev.<br /> **(at wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- &quot;You startled him and he disappears!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;talk ____&quot;'''<br /> **'''(someone not in the screen, inanimate, or nonexistent; anywhere)''' - &quot;It's sad when you have to make up people to talk to.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage, before you get the baby) - &quot;You say some cute, stupid stuff and the baby just blows snot bubbles.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen when he's there) - &quot;Your attempts at conversation are met with horse grunts and tail flaps. Which is better than you do at conversation with most people.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (while inside the hay) - &quot;Not now! You'll blow your cover!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - &quot;Me llamo Julio,' you begin... It seems only to further anger the already temperamental Kerrek. That stupid 'Learn Kerrek in 3 Weeks' cassette did nothing for you!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lady&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage after she's gone) - &quot;You'd call out her name and let it ring through the empty room, enveloping you in sorrow, but you don't actually know her name.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;Naked Ned&quot;''' (at the wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- &quot;'Never speak of this meeting!' says the nudie and he disapperars.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;''' (at the wavy tree) - &quot;Trees can't talk but a breeze picks up and you swear the leaves whisper the words 'Naked Ned.' Weird.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;''' (in Trogdor's lair while he's asleep) - &quot;You yell some choice expletives at Trogdor but he doesn't wake up. There's a cool echo, though.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;well&quot;''' (At the well) &quot;You yell into the well and enjoy the echo. Keep in mind there are no stereos yet.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;this sucks&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;throw _____&quot;'''<br /> **(anything but the feed; at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot; 'That isn't gonna work for bait!' the old man screams, at a needlessly harsh volume.&quot;<br /> **(anything; when the fisherman is gone) - &quot;You already fed the fish. Let's get moving, here, people!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but the west side of the lake) - &quot;Hmmm. Maybe try someplace else.<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake before getting the baby) - &quot;I think you misread the walkthrough on GameFAQs. You gotta get the baby first.&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the soda) - &quot;Baby Dashing is a little waterlogged from the toss, and you read his soft gurgling to mean that there's no more soda left.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere without the baby) - &quot;You don't even have two babies to rub together.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the east side of the lake before getting the feed) - &quot;You have nothing with which to do that...with.&quot;<br /> ***(at the east side of the lake after throwing the feed) - &quot;You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!&quot; (The repetition is probably just a goof.)<br /> *'''&quot;try&quot;''' - (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Okay, fine. You try to cut off your hard-earned extremities. It doesn't work. You dead. Thanks for nothing.&quot; '''Warning:''' You die.<br /> *'''&quot;turn crank&quot;'''<br /> **(at the well, on the other side of the screen) - &quot;You got a short reach to match your short pants. Try standing closer to that crank.&quot;<br /> **(at well, after you get the maskus) - {first time} &quot;Down she goes! You could do this all day!&quot; {second time} &quot;The drama grips you, but the bucket is empty. On the bright side, you're getting a pretty sweet workout for your Deltoidus Rex muscles.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===U===<br /> *'''&quot;use/deploy baby&quot;'''<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, before getting the baby) - &quot;Swell idea, but is you ain't my baby? I.e. you ain't got one?&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, before moving the stone) - &quot;Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm.&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, after the baby has left) - &quot;Li'l P.B. has moved on, and the door seems to be open...I can't see why we'd go through this all over again.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;use pebbles&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;What do you propose to do with them? Discuss.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===V===<br /> <br /> ===W===<br /> *'''&quot;wake up trogdor&quot;''' - &quot;Troggie...&quot;, you murmur. &quot;Troggie, wake up it's time for Burnination school.&quot; He's not budging.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;wear _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (after getting the belt) - &quot;You're already wearing it. Too bad you smell like the trash barge off Peasant Isle.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;mask&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Not on this screen. You've got your image to think about. Actually, you might want to start deliberating on that right now.&quot;<br /> ***(in Poor Gary's glen after scaring him) - &quot;Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;robe&quot;'''<br /> ***(if the robe is not in your inventory) - &quot;You don't have anything but your 'Scalding Lake' t-shirt. And pants. Forgot to mention the pants.&quot;<br /> ***(if you are already wearing the robe) - &quot;You're already in the old skool robe. Represent.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;what the f&amp;mdash;&quot;''' ''([[Swears|uncensored version]])''&lt;!--actually &quot;what the fuck&quot;--&gt; (anywhere) - &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;where&quot;''' (anywhere) - Tells you where you are.<br /> *'''&quot;why&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;I wish I knew.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===X===<br /> <br /> ===Y===<br /> *&quot;'''Yes'''&quot; (to the Jhonka when he asks you about his riches)- &quot;'I KILL YOU!!' screams the Jhonka. ''{The Jhonka clubs you to death}'' Club or turkey leg, the jhonka sure just beat you senseless with whatever he was holding. You dead. Thanks for playing!&quot; '''Warning:''' Obviously, you will die.<br /> <br /> ===Z===<br /> <br /> ===Action Based===<br /> '''Warning:''' All of the below will kill you.<br /> <br /> *'''(Walk too close to the Kerrek)''' - ''{The Kerrek pounds your head into the ground}'' Your mom always told you not to take head poundings from strange Kerreks. And NOW looks what's happened. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Walk in the path of Dongelev's arrows)''' - ''{Dongolev shoots you in the head}'' That guy has no sense. He shot you. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Nice one, William Tell. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Leave the screen after putting the baby in the bucket)''' - Nice try. Ditch the baby at the bottom of the well, eh? Thought you'd be able to just walk away and it's nothing by mead and wenches from now on, huh? Well guess what? You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Hit by rock or pterodactyl when climbing the cliff)''' - ''{You fall to the ground and lie in a heap}'' Oops! You climbed real bad. You knew that you were AVOIDING the rocks, right? Not collecting them. Anyways, nice try. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Walk too close to Trogdor while he's asleep)''' - ''{Trogdor burninates you without waking up}'' Yow. Looks like you got a little too close. You dead. Maybe next time don't get too close.<br /> <br /> {{Peasant's Quest}}<br /> [[Category:Peasant's Quest]] [[Category:Lists]]</div> Mon, 18 Jun 2007 18:34:06 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Talk:Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses <p>GWR 2004:&#32;/* G */ more quotation marks</p> <hr /> <div>[[Image:PQ_look_footprints.png|thumb|300px|&gt; LOOK FOOTPRINTS]]<br /> The [[Peasant's Quest]] game relies on text commands to complete objectives in the game. While there are programmed responses to all of the necessary actions in the game's storyline, the game contains many responses to unproductive commands as well.<br /> <br /> {| border=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;toc&quot;<br /> ! align=&quot;center&quot; | {{int:toc}}<br /> |-<br /> | align=&quot;left&quot; |<br /> *[[#Walkthrough Messages|1 Walkthrough Messages]]<br /> *[[#The Three Keepers' Messages|2 The Three Keepers' Messages]]<br /> **[[#The First Keeper|2.1 The First Keeper]]<br /> **[[#The Second Keeper|2.2 The Second Keeper]]<br /> **[[#The Third Keeper|2.3 The Third Keeper]]<br /> *[[#Area Descriptions|3 Area Descriptions]]<br /> *[[#Other Productive Responses|4 Other Productive Responses]]<br /> **[[#Constructive Conversations|4.1 Constructive Conversations]]<br /> **[[#Useful Documents|4.2 Useful Documents]]<br /> **[[#Helpful Hints|4.3 Helpful Hints]]<br /> *[[#Unproductive Responses|5 Unproductive Responses]]<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==Walkthrough Messages==<br /> {{spoiler}}<br /> The following are the messages displayed while completing the minimal number of tasks to achieve a perfect score. Note that different messages may be displayed for a game completed differently (e.g. if the Three Keepers' questions are answered), and that there are [[#Unproductive Responses|many other messages]] that may be displayed in response to inputs that are not constructive and/or not essential to completion of the game.<br /> <br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Points !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || YOU are Rather Dashing, a humble peasant living in the peasant kingdom of Peasantry.&lt;br&gt;You return home from a vacation on Scalding Lake only to find that TROGDOR THE BURNINATOR has burninated your thatched roof cottage along with all your goods and services.&lt;br&gt;With nothing left to lose, you swear to get revenge on the Wingaling Dragon in the name of burninated peasants everywhere. || 3B<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || You head east towards the mountain atop which TROGDOR lives. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || That's a nice looking lake. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || You can start playing in a second here. || 2D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || Okay, go for it. || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || get pebbles || You grab up a handful of fairly substantial pebbles. You make sure to get an even mix of sedentary, igneous, and, um, sureptitious rocks. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || put rocks in bucket || You plunk all your pebbles into the bucket. The weight causes it to descend to the bottom of the well with a quickness! || 1D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || turn crank || &quot;The crank seems to have loosened and you haul the bucket back up. What's this? Why there's a monster maskus in there! No doubt leftover from some pagan ritual. Silly pagans.&lt;br&gt;You grab up the scary moster maskus. Man, this thing could scare a horse! || 1D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || talk man || &quot;Oh, hi. I'm Mendelev,&quot; says the archer. &quot;I used to run a shooting range here with my brother Dongolev. But we don't talk so much anymore. I haven't seen him in a Jhonka's age. If you ever run into him, telll him I said 'haldo'.&lt;br&gt;&quot;You mean 'hello,'&quot; you ask?&lt;br&gt;&quot;Oh, um. No. Shut up. I said 'haldo' and I meant 'haldo.' Tell him I said 'haldo.'&quot;<br /> || 2D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || wear mask || You slip on the hideous monster maskus.&lt;br&gt;You scared the crap outta Poor Gary! He broke on through to the other side! || 1A<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || haldo || the archer stops arching and turns to you. &quot;My brother told you to tell me haldo? He must want to start the old business back up!&quot; || Hidden glen<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || get arrow || You pick out a really good one and yank it from the tree. Hooray! Now you have an arrow! || Hidden glen<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || get chicken feed || You used to eat this stuff like crazy when you were a kid and your parents weren't watching (which was all too often). You grab several large handfuls. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || the baby lady calls after you, &quot;Hey, you're on some quest right? Well, the little squirt here lost something of mine in the yard the other day. It's yours if you can find it.&quot; || Baby lady cottage<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (first bush) || You reach into the bush to snag some berries but they all just squish in your hand. || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (second bush) || Man, nothing in this bush but squished berries either. || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (third bush) || Too bad you don't want any squished berries, cuz hey: jackpot! || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 2 || get berries (fourth bush) || You reach into the bush to snag you some berries but instead find a Super Trinket! These things are awesome! You have a sneaking suspicion that SOMEONE in this game will need this thing. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || throw chicken feed || You toss the feed into the lake. You shed a tear for each one. &quot;Goodbye, Monty&quot; you sniff. &quot;Bye Delga, Rasputin. Farewell, Combledon!&quot; and so forth.&lt;br&gt;Woah! That crotchety old man just caught a pantload of fish! &quot;Now I can get back to running the inn,&quot; he says and rows to shore and hauls his boat out and cleans, guts, and filets all the fish and a buncha other stuff we didn't animate. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || give super trinket || &quot;That'll work,&quot; says Mendelev. Just hit 3 bullseyes and you win the SuperTime FunBow TM!&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;The ARROW KEYS aim left and right and the SPACE BAR operates the bow. You'll need to press it a couple of times to get a nice shot off but we don't give lessons so you're on your own.&quot; || 2C<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (get [X]=3-5 bullseyes) || &quot;Nice shootin! [X] hits.&quot; Says Mendelev. &quot;Here's your prize!&quot; You got the SuperTime FunBow TM! We don't sell ammo, so you'll have to find your own arrows for it. || 2C<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || shoot Kerrek with bow || Here goes nothin', Kid Icarus&lt;br&gt;ARROWED!! Nice shot. You smote the Kerrek! He lay there stinking.&lt;br&gt;A light rain heralds the washing free of the Kerrek's grip on the land. You're feeling pretty good, though, so the artless symbolism doesn't bug you. || 1B or 4C<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || get belt || You strap the Kerrek's belt buckle around your waist. Oh boy. You sure stink now. || 1B or 4C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || (walk into mud puddle) || Now you've done it! You're covered in sticky, albeit fine smelling, mud. Your &quot;Scalding Lake&quot; T-shirt is all soiled, too. You just washed it last harvest! || 2B<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || jump into hay || You've not known much better than a roll in the hay alone.&lt;br&gt;You leap in the hay like a two years old boy. Uh oh. The hay sticks to your muddy body. You're a walking hay bale! Just like that one guy from that one show! || 2A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (walk to Jhonka's cave) || Hey, nice disguise! The Jhonka doesn't seem to notice you. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 7 || steal riches || Oh OH! A stiff breeze blew all the hay and, surprisingly, the mud off of you! &quot;You take my riches?!&quot; growls the Jhonka. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || No || &quot;Okay. Lemme know if you see riches anywhere,&quot; he grunts and goes back to his hopping. You smooth talker, you. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give riches || &quot;My riches!!&quot; she screams and snatches up every last gold coin. &quot;Thanks, sucker! Here you go!&quot; she shoves the baby into your hands and bolts out the door.&lt;br&gt;You later learn that she does this all the time and is wanted throughout the countryside. Those riches probably WERE the Jhonka's and who knows whose baby that is. Well, it's yours now. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || This place is dead anyway. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || throw baby || Something tells you this is a good idea and you lob the little one into the lake.&lt;br&gt;You won't be arrested after all! The little guy has resurfaced safely, carrying an old bottle of soda. You take the soda and stow your swaddling buddy for takeoff. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || put baby in bucket || Okay, Father of the Year. You put a baby in a bucket and it quickly descends deep into the well. Yours is a black, black heart. || 1C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || turn crank || You haul the bucket back up. Lucky for you, the baby is still in it and appears to be unscathed. As a bonus, it looks like he found a Meatball sub down there. Score! You take the sub.&lt;br&gt;Oh, and the baby. You take the baby. || 1C<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give baby || &quot;Well lookit that little guy!&quot; says the Innkeeper. &quot;You want a treat, do ya? What do babies like?&quot; He fishes around in his pockets.&lt;br&gt;&quot;Um, how bout my medication!&quot; You grab the bottle of pills before he can force them on the baby. &quot;Hey, those were for him!&quot; || inn<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || move rock || You slide the stone over to reveal a little hole. If only you could cut off your arms, legs, and head you might be able to squeeze through! || 4A<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || put baby into the hole || Deploying Q-Baby...&lt;br&gt;Way to go, baby! It got the cottage door opened and headed off to a new life. He becomes Valedictorian of his graduating class, goes to Scalding Lake State, gets a degree in Advanced Peasantry and lands a job at Thatch-Pro: building better cottages for a better tomorrow.&lt;br&gt;You grow apart and the letters from him become fewer and fewer. He develops a severe mead problem and blames you for never being there. || 4A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open drawer || There's a vintage peasant robe in there! Just like grampa used to wear. || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || get robe || Yeah! Get that robe! || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || close drawer || Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint. || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || wear robe || You slip into the vintage robe. It smells like grampa's lap. Now you're lookin like a serious peasant. || anywhere<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || get room || &quot;Okay, youngster,&quot; says the decrepit old person. &quot;Just bed on down for the night and I'm sure I'll remember to collect the fee come morning.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Night falls like a bad power point presentation.&lt;br&gt;What an uncomfortable bed! You sleep for maybe 20 minutes before the extreme pain in your spine forces you to get up.|| Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || get pot || You reach way up to the top shelf.&lt;br&gt;Oh great! Now you can't see a thing and your head is covered in highly flammable horse grease. You better get out of here before that disgusting old man comes back. || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (exiting inn with pot on head) || Phew! You discard the big black pot and wipe the horse grease from your eyes. The hood of your robe is still covered in highly flammable horse grease, though. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || (walking under candle in burninated trees) || Whoa! The horse grease on your robe caught fire! You're a for-real peasant now. || 4E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (exiting 4E) || Man, screens sure get light fast around here. || 1E, 3E, or 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 7 || talk knight || Lookin good, Mr. Peasant. Good luck with ol' Beefy Arm up there.&lt;br&gt;This is it! You can finally get revenge on Trogdor! Nice work so far, stupid!&lt;br&gt;Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter.&lt;br&gt;Disk read error. Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter. || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || climb || With a new determination you dig your fingers into the cliff face and begin to haul yourself up the mountain like you were in a sports drink commercial&lt;br&gt;The mountain starts rumbling and big loose boulders start tumblin down. You'd best avoid thems. || Cliff base<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (successfully climbing the cliff without dying) || Nice jorb climbing the cliff. You have a real way with those arrow keys. || Cliffland heights<br /> |-id=&quot;bribery_route&quot;<br /> | 0 || (approached by first keeper) || Foolish peasant! How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!&lt;br&gt;You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!&lt;br&gt;You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.&lt;br&gt;And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.&lt;br&gt;Unless you happen to have something to eat on ya. Then we could forego my question. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give sandwich || No way! I was just kidding but you've really got a meatball sub. This rules! Here, you can have the Trog-Shield. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (approached by second keeper) || Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!&lt;br&gt;Or we could call it even if I had an ice cold drink right now. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give soda || Sweet deal, peasant. I underestimated you. Wear this Trog-Helmet with style. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (approached by third keeper) || Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!&lt;br&gt;That is, unless you've got something for my lower back. Man, it's killin me! || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give pills || Whoa! Where'd you find this stuff? I don't think this is even legal anymore. These babies'll definitely smote LUMBAGO the, um, LOWER BACKINATOR!!&lt;br&gt;The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (enter Trogdor's cave) || the beaded curtain slams shut behind you. There's no turning back now. || Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 7 || throw sword || This is it! You hurl the Trog-Sword with all your might at the sleeping Burninator.&lt;br&gt;Now you've done it! Trogdor's awake and the Trog-Sword doesn't seem to be doing a whole lot.&lt;br&gt;Your legs lock in fear, your eyes glaze over and you wish for some Depeasant adult undergarments. But you think you hear Trogdor whimpering!&lt;br&gt;Aw crap, that's you whimpering. At least your voice still works, I guess.|| Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 10 || talk trogdor || You scream that your name is Rather Dashing and that Trogdor burninated your cottage and you're here for revenge!&lt;br&gt;&quot;Sup, mortal,&quot; booms Trogdor. &quot;I really appreciate you making the effort to come all the way up here and vanquish me and all. But, I'm kinda indestructible.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Yeah, I can't be killed. I'm surprised nobody mentioned that to you. I'll admit though, you've gotten farther than anybody else ever has. I bet they'll make a statue or something in honor of you somewheres.&lt;br&gt;&quot;I can honestly say it'll be a pleasure and an honor to burninate you, Rather Dashing.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Aw that sure was nice of him!&lt;br&gt;Congratulations! You've won! No one can kill Trogdor but you came closer than anybody ever! Way to go! || Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Peasant's Quest&lt;br&gt;Written by Matt, Jonathan, and Mike || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Programmed by Jonathan || 1E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Graphics by Mike and Matt || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Quality Assurance Types:&lt;br&gt;Neal Stamper,&lt;br&gt;Don Chapman, and John Radle&lt;br&gt;Nice work on winning and everything.&lt;br&gt;THE END || 3B<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==The Three Keepers' Messages==<br /> There are several messages that the game may return while [[Rather Dashing]] is answering questions of [[The Three Keepers of Trogdor]]. The simplest way to complete this part of the game is to bribe the Keepers; the messages returned in this case are listed [[Peasant's Quest Responses#bribery_route|above]]. If Rather Dashing has not acquired the three items necessary to bribe the Keepers, however, he must answer a question from each of them. The messages returned while answering their questions are listed here.<br /> <br /> ===The First Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!&lt;br&gt;You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!&lt;br&gt;You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.&lt;br&gt;And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> ''The First Keeper will ask you one of the following questions (the correct answer is '''highlighted'''):''<br /> :Okay here goes. What did you win from the Archery game?<br /> :A. SuperBow FunTime TM<br /> :'''B. SuperTime FunBow TM'''<br /> :C. SuperFun BowTime TM<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Okay here goes. What does Mendelev have you tell Dongolev?<br /> :'''A. Haldo'''<br /> :B. Hallo<br /> :C. Allo<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Okay here goes. What is the only creature the Jhonka fears?<br /> :A. Poor Gary<br /> :B. The Baby<br /> :'''C. The Kerrek'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;Ah crap! You're right. Here, take this stupid Trog-Shield!&quot;<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> &quot;Sorry peasant! You fail! And as punishment, you will be turned into...RON CUMBERDALE!!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> You ask who the crap Ron Cumberdale is.<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> &quot;Just this kid from 4th grade that I really hated. But he was a BIG LOSER and HE SMELLED!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Well, you not exactly dead. But there's no way you could defeat Trogdor as Ron Cumberdale. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.<br /> <br /> ===The Second Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> :Listen careful now. Which one of these letters is the letter C?<br /> :A. B<br /> :'''B. C'''<br /> :C. A<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Listen careful now. How many berry bushes are there in the whole kingdom of Peasantry?<br /> :A. 4<br /> :'''B. 5'''<br /> :C. 6<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Listen careful now. What was the Innkeeper's pantry full of?<br /> :A. Epsom Salts<br /> :B. Epson Printers<br /> :'''C. Old Man Rub'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;That's right. Oh. This sucks. Guess I have to give you this Trog-Helmet. Dang.&quot;<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> &quot;WRONG! You are hereby cursed to write corny folk songs for the rest of eternity! The kind that only OLD PEOPLE LIKE!!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Well, you not exactly dead. But you certainly can't face Trogdor after writing 'Wheat Grows Sweet, But My Gal's Sweeter'. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.<br /> <br /> ===The Third Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> :Riddle me this. To whom did the robe you're wearing originally belong?<br /> :A. Nobleman Nicholas<br /> :B. Nina Neverawesome<br /> :'''C. Naked Ned'''<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Riddle me this. What color are the leaves on the tree that grows by the well?<br /> :'''A. Orange'''<br /> :B. Green<br /> :C. Yellow<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Riddle me this. Which way does the river that runs through Peasantry flow?<br /> :A. West to East<br /> :B. Northwest to South<br /> :'''C. Northeast to Southwest'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;Uh oh. You got it right. Trogdor's gonna kill me. Okay, you can have the Trog-Sword. Just promise not to kill any Trogdor's with it, kay?&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> You just stare at the Keeper blankly.<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> &quot;Okay fine! You can have the dumb thing anyways. Trogdor's through the beaded curtain over there.&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant.<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> YES! I was hoping you'd get mine wrong. No Trog-Sword for you. In fact, no skin for you either!<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Wow. You sure dead. You had a good run, though. Thanks for playin.<br /> <br /> ''Note: if you fail to provide &quot;A&quot;, &quot;B&quot;, or &quot;C&quot; as an answer to any of the above questions, the Keeper will ask the question again, replacing the first sentence with the following one:'' Peasant fool! Choose A, B, or C!<br /> <br /> ==Area Descriptions==<br /> By typing &quot;look&quot; in an area, you can receive a description of the surrounding area. Sometimes descriptions change as events come to pass.<br /> <br /> *'''Hidden Glen:''' Well, looky here! A hidden glen! You LOVE hidden glens. This one has some kinda archer in it.<br /> **''{after Dongelev leaves}'' You're in a hidden glen. There's a tree with zillions of arrows in it.<br /> *'''Poor Gary's Glen ([[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|A1]]):''' Hey! There's a rotten ol' horse over there!<br /> *'''Kerrek Tracks 1 (B1):''' There are large hoof prints in the grass here.<br /> **''{no Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the the [sic] grass here. And it smells like a public latrine.<br /> **''{living Kerrek}'' It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!<br /> **''{dead Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. There is a large Kerrek-shaped mound on the grass.<br /> **''{rotting Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Part of the ground looks just like a rotting &lt;!--no capital--&gt;kerrek.<br /> **''{skeletal Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Looks like someone left their spare bones here.<br /> *'''Old Well (C1):''' There's a really generic well here. Oh, and apparently it's autumn on this screen.<br /> *'''Yellow Tree (D1):''' Rushing river [[b/w]] yellow tree.<br /> *'''Waterfall (E1):''' There's a beautiful, magical waterfall cascading down the cliff side.<br /> *'''That Hay Bale (A2):''' Well, there's that big bale of hay over there.<br /> **''{when in hay disguise, anywhere}'' Right now, you see a bunch of hay.<br /> *'''That Mud Puddle (B2):''' There's a dried out mud puddle. It's all caked and cracked like the kind rock stars are always standing on.<br /> **''{when raining}'' Not much to see. 'Sides that big mud puddle.<br /> *'''Archery Range (C2):''' You've come across some kind of shooting gallery. There's a depressed looking archer at the desk there.<br /> *'''River and Stone (D2):''' Not much to see. River's got a rock in it.<br /> *'''Mountain Pass (E2):''' You've reached the mountain pass that leads to Trogdor's lair. A royal knight blocks the entrance.<br /> *'''Jhonka's Cave (A3):''' There's a little cave with a little door with a little note on it.<br /> **''{before getting riches, after Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.&lt;!--No space--&gt;A fat pile of riches lies next to him.<br /> **''{after the Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.<br /> *'''Your Burninated Cottage (B3):''' The remains of your thatched-roof cottage lie before you. You swear revenge against Trogdor.<br /> *'''Pebble Lake West (C3):''' There's definitely half a lake here with a sandy shore.<br /> *'''Pebble Lake East (D3):''' Why it's half a lake.<br /> **''{when the old man is fishing}'' Why it's half a lake.&lt;!--there's no space--&gt;With a fisherman in it. And he's fishing!<br /> *'''Outside Giant Inn (E3):''' There's a giant Inn here. It takes up, like, the entire screen.<br /> **'''Inside Giant Inn:''' What a dump! Only one bed and no minibar? The Innkeeper stands behind the desk and there's a door that's closed.<br /> **'''Inside Giant Inn:''' ''{at night}'' It's still dark out. The grimey old Innkeeper is gone and he left the pantry open.<br /> *'''Outside Mysterious Cottage: (A4)''' There's a run-of-the-mill non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.<br /> **'''Inside Mysterious Cottage:''' This place could use some serious sprucing of the 'up' variety. There's a dresser over there and a broom kind of silhouetted all mysterious like.<br /> *'''Wavy Tree (B4):''' Nothing special here except for that weird wavy tree.<br /> *'''Kerrek Tracks 2 (C4):''' ''{same as Kerrek Tracks 1}''<br /> *'''Outside Baby Lady Cottage (D4):''' There's a ranch-style thatched roof cottage here. There are also what appear to be four crunch berry bushes but you can't be sure.<br /> **'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. A lady rocks her baby in a chair. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.<br /> **'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' ''{after the baby lady leaves}'' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. There is one of those self-rocking chairs. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.<br /> *'''Burninated Trees (E4):''' A signal lantern of some kind hangs from a burninated tree.<br /> **''{at night}'' A burning signal lantern hangs from a severely burninated tree.<br /> *'''Cliff Base:''' You're at the base of a very climbable cliff that leads to Trogdor's lair. This cliff is huge - the kind where rocks start falling down the minute you try to climb it.<br /> *'''Cliffland Heights:''' Wow! It sure gets creepy fast around here! What with all the lightning and scary cave entrances.<br /> *'''Trogdor's Outer Sanctum:''' There are 3 openings with a little cliff in front of each. A beaded curtain hangs in a doorway on the far wall.<br /> *'''Trogdor's Posh Lair:''' You're in a giant cavern which houses a giant dragon. You didn't shrink or anything.<br /> <br /> ==Other Productive Responses==<br /> ===Constructive Conversations===<br /> There are some helpful residents of [[Peasantry]] who will provide you with tips about how to proceed in the game. While these conversations are not necessary for completion of the game, many are important to the game's storyline.<br /> <br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Character !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (at beginning of game) || You explain your situation to the knight. That Trogdor burninated your cottage and you've sworn revenge. You ask for passage up the mountain to settle your score. (Press RETURN to advance through conversations)&lt;br&gt;&quot;Hang on there, Trogdorkilla,&quot; says the knight. &quot;I can only allow actual peasants up the mountain pass to face Trogdor. And you CLEARLY are not one.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Look, Dragonheart...&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;You don't STINK like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;You don't DRESS like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;And you're definitely not ON FIRE like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Once you're those 3 things, come back and maybe we can talk.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Be sure to LOOK around lots. Talk to everyone you see and ASK ABOUT stuff. Type HELP if you get confused and INVENTORY to see your worldly stuff. Type SAVE or LOAD to save or load your game. Duh.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;belt_only&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt) || &quot;Frankly, Matthew Broderick, you sure stink like a peasant. But you still don't DRESS like a peasant and you're not ON FIRE like a peasant.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;robe_only&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Naked Ned's robe) || &quot;My dear Adso, you are dressed well but you don't STINK and you're not ON FIRE. Let us instead exercise our brains and try to solve this tantalizing conundrum.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;belt_and_robe&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt and Naked Ned's robe) || &quot;Almost there, Dirk the Daring. You stink like a peasant and you dress like one too. But you're clearly still not ON FIRE.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | [[Baby Lady &amp; Her Baby#The Baby Lady|The Baby Lady]] || talk lady || &quot;Hello, I'm-&quot; you start but the lady cuts you off&lt;br&gt;&quot;Okay, here's why I let you in here,&quot; she explains. &quot;My husband got squished by Trogdor. And to make matters worse, the insurance riches I got were stolen by Jhonka. Go steal them back for us and I'll give you something great.&quot; || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || talk man (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || You holler at the old man about Trogdor, but he just grumbles about the fish not biting. &quot;Must be using the wrong bait...&quot; he says, suggestively. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || talk man (after throwing chicken feed in lake) || &quot;If you're interested in staying the night, just type 'get a room.'&quot; || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || get a room (without robe)|| &quot;I only serve peasants here, fancypants!&quot; barks the old guy. &quot;Where's your robe?&quot; || Inside giant inn<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ===Useful Documents===<br /> There are a few notes and documents lying around Peasantry that help Rather Dashing on his quest.<br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Item !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | [[Peasant's Quest Items#map|Map]] || get map || You tuck it nice-like into your short, short pants. Type MAP at nearly any time to check the map. || 3B<br /> |-<br /> | Note on [[Old Man]]'s door || read note (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || It says, &quot;Gone Fishin&quot; just like that grog coozie your cousin got you. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | Note on [[Jhonka]]'s door || read note (before killing [[Kerrek]]) || It says &quot;scared of kerrek. go way. -j&quot; || 3A<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ===Helpful Hints===<br /> At times when you stray from the correct path in the game, the computer will respond with suggestions to help keep you on the right track.<br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! Action !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | After jumping in the haystack, go from 2A to any screen except 3A || Drat. The winds are heavy on all but a couple of key screens... looks like you're no longer in stealth mode. || 1A or 2B<br /> |-<br /> | Type any command while the pot of horse grease is on your head || You need to get out of there before that smelly octogenarian gets back. || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | Type any command other than &quot;Talk&quot; or &quot;Talk Trogdor&quot; after Trogdor wakes up || Trogdor is awake and a couple seconds from a Rather Dashing BBQ. Might as well say your peace with him. || Trogdor's Posh Lair<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==Unproductive Responses==<br /> [[Image:closedrawer.PNG|thumb|300px|&gt; CLOSE DRAWER]]<br /> There are many messages that the game gives you when you input commands that are not essential to the game's storyline. Here is a list of all that have been found. When more than one option is given, such as &quot;get/take _____&quot;, either word will produce the same response.<br /> <br /> <br /> {{compactTOC3}}<br /> {{clear}}<br /> ===#===<br /> <br /> ===A===<br /> *'''&quot;Ask about _____&quot;:'''<br /> **'''Baby:'''<br /> ***(to Baby Lady) - &quot;This little guy's all I got left. If only someone would steal back all our riches from that filthy Jhonka.&quot;<br /> **'''Fire:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Well, whenever I see peasants, they tend to be on fire. So get yourself on fire. I hear horse grease gives a nice, controlled burn.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;You need fire? A couple of trees over by the waterfall used to be on fire. But now there's like a signal lantern over there or something.&quot; / &quot;So should I ask that signal lantern?&quot; you ask. / &quot;I dunno man! Whattaya want from me?&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Trogdor just burned down some idiot peasant's cottage. You should ask him,&quot; says Mendelev. / &quot;Yeah, this jerk goes on vacation to some prancey lake and...&quot; / They see you staring daggers at them and turn bright red. / &quot;Oh. Nevermind,&quot; says Dongolev. &quot;Um, yeah. What's a fire?&quot; adds Mendelev.<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Burninator make fire! Barbecue all peasants!&quot;<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I've always preferred being on fire at night. Looks prettier and keeps the butterflies away.&quot;<br /> **'''Jhonka:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Since the Kerrek showed up, we don't see the Jhonka so much anymore. He lives in that little cave over in west Peasantry.&quot;<br /> ***(to Baby Lady) - &quot;That nasty thing killed my husband and took my riches!!&quot; / &quot;I thought Trogdor killed your husband,&quot; you interject. / &quot;Oh right. Yeah. That's what I said. Trogband killed my husbdor.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;The Kerrek is dead!&quot; he cries and hops around some more. You wonder how someone this primitive could have made that much dough.<br /> **'''Kerrek:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I call him Big Stinky. He's slow and stupid, but he'll pound you into milks meat without a second thought.&quot;<br /> **'''Naked Ned:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;That weirdo used to live over in west Peasantry but now I guess he just prances around the forest in his birthday suit.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;Don't talk about that pervert in front of the baby here.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;That guy creeps us out. In fact, shut up about him.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Filthy naked peasant! Stay away from my cave-hole!&quot; Who's he calling naked? HE'S the one wearing the string bikini.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;He used to be such a nice, clothed young man. Wonder what he's done with all his old clothes?&quot;<br /> **'''robe:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Peasants wear those brown robes. You know, with the rope around the waist. Get yourself one of those.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;You can't have mine, pervert! I'm not a nudist peasant like that weirdo over in west Peasantry!&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;We wouldn't know. We only wear archer clothes. You just can't arch real well in a robe, y'know?&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - ''see naked ned''<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I wear my robe hood-down so it's easier to trim my ear-hairs. If you need a robe, maybe try someone that's not using theirs.&quot;<br /> **'''smell:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I never met a peasant that didn't stink. If you wanna smell bad, get the Kerrek involved. That thing reeks!&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;What smells is junior here's drawers! I gotta quit feeding him so much horse!&quot; / &quot;And don't start asking me for his diapers, sicko!&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;That giant pig running around sure smells bad. Maybe talk to him.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Kerrek smell! Now Kerrek dead!&quot; screeches the Jhonka. So you can infer from this that all smells are dead? You always sucked at the analytical questions.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;Well, if you don't stink, maybe find something that does and wear it. Like a dead carcass or summat.&quot;<br /> **'''trogdor:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;If I had a gold coin for every whining peasant's cottage that freaking dragon burninated, I'd be rich as a jhonka.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;I hope you kill that stupid dragon. My 'Wives of Squished Peasants' support group would bake you a Poor Gary pie if you did.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Oh man, there was this one time when I came THIS close to having Trogdor ARROWED!&quot; says Dongolev. / &quot;Hey, shut up! That was me!&quot; interrupts Mendelev, &quot;YOU almost arrowed that blue baby!&quot; says Dongolev. [sic] / &quot;Did not!&quot; / &quot;Did so!&quot; / &quot;Did not!&quot; / (You see where this is going.)<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;All hail Burninator! Trogdor Number One! Beat Peasant Tech!&quot; says the grimy Jhonka.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;Are you talking about that young green boy that lives up the street? He's always tearing my roof off and eating my customers.&quot;<br /> **'''anything else:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I don't know anything about that, short pants.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;I dunno what you're talking about.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Either we don't know anything about that, or you're real boring.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Jhonka don't know nothing bout that!&quot;<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I don't know nothing about no whatever you just said.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere else) - &quot;Ask about what?&quot;<br /> : &lt;small&gt;* - You can only ask Mendelev and Dongolev when they're together.&lt;/small&gt;<br /> *'''&quot;attack sign&quot;''' (at the Mountain Pass) - &quot;I was being facetious, Mr. Smarty-short-pants. No sign attacking for you.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===B===<br /> *'''&quot;boo&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Scared me.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;break/kick/punch door&quot;''' (at Outside mysterious cottage) - &quot;Violence is not the answer.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;break sign&quot;''' (at Mountain Pass) - ''See &quot;attack sign&quot;''<br /> *'''&quot;break stump, sit on stump, etc.&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Are you THAT bored? Do some questing already!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;buy kerrek a cold one&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;The kerrek&lt;!--sic--&gt; is a teetotaller and is offended by your offer. You've really cheesed him off now.&quot; '''Warning:''' This speeds the Kerrek up, so be careful. This command was first seen in the email [[for kids]].<br /> <br /> ===C===<br /> *'''&quot;[[The Cheat|cheat]]&quot;''' (or any phrase involving &quot;cheat&quot;; anywhere) - &quot;Meh.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;climb _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;cliff&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere near the bottom of the cliff) - &quot;There aren't enough footholds and you don't have any carabeaners on you.&quot;<br /> ***(at the top of the cliff) - &quot;They don't show how the sports-drink people get down from the cliff. You've no idea how to start.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fence&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;No, you have business to attend to here in Peasantry.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;More like you should walk through that gaping hole in it. Just an idea.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Not going to dignify that with a response.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in bucket&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Your butt is too big.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;No go. Your insurance doesn't cover that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but at the wavy tree or hidden glen) - &quot;But then your hands would get all sappy.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Naw, you'd probably figure out some way to kill yourself doing that.&quot;<br /> ***(at the wavy tree) - &quot;You don't climb wavy trees.&quot;<br /> ***(after getting a room in the inn) - &quot;Naw. That's dumb. Do better.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;close _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Already done. That was easy!&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - &quot;You can't. That baby really wrenched it open good.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;'''<br /> ***(without stealing the robe) - &quot;Right, right. Wouldn't want to leave the robes out where any old guy trying to beat an adventure game could take them.&quot;<br /> ***(when it's closed) - &quot;A riddle: What can be closed that is already closed? (hint: not this drawer)&quot;<br /> ***(after getting the robe) - &quot;Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;cut off arms, legs, and head&quot;''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Very funny. You have trouble cutting out coupons in the weekly 'Peasant Penny-Pincher' circular. I'd like to see you try.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===D===<br /> *'''&quot;[[dan]]&quot;''' (or any phrase involving Dan; anywhere): &quot;Dan's still okay. Got a place on Dekalb with Rick and his wife. Slimmed up a bit and looking towards the future.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;dance&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You'd rather just stand here and soak up the scene.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;die&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;That wasn't very smart. You dead.&quot; '''Warning:''' This kills you.<br /> *'''&quot;drink&quot;''' (or any object after &quot;drink&quot;; anywhere) - &quot;For simplicity's sake you are immune to hunger and thirst in this game. So you got that going for you./Which is nice.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;drop baby&quot;'''<br /> **(once you have baby) - &quot;Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm.&quot; '''or''' &quot;Quit tryin to ditch the baby!&quot;<br /> **(before you have baby) - &quot;You don't even have two babies to rub together.&quot;<br /> **(at the well) - &quot;Like where?&quot;<br /> <br /> ===E===<br /> <br /> ===F===<br /> *'''&quot;feed horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen before scaring him) - &quot;There's a good chance that horse has NEVER eaten. I doubt he'll start now.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===G===<br /> *'''&quot;get a room&quot;''' (when on fire) - \oard&lt;!-- Yes, it's really a backslash, not a B. That's why &quot;[sic]&quot; is there. --&gt; [sic] of Peasant Health says I can't serve any folk that's on fire. Nothing personal. Well, I mean, I don't like you much anyway.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;get/take/steal _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;(anything not listed and not relevant to the plot)&quot;''' - &quot;You probably WISH you could get that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;arrow&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the archery range) - &quot;They have 'RANGE' printed on them, so it would be kind of embarrassing to have to shoot around with them. Also, that guy over there is giving you the evil eye.&quot;<br /> ***(at the secret glen while Dongolev is there) - &quot;Something tells me now's not a good time.&quot; (you get the arrow anyway and Dongolev shoots you) &quot;It wasn't a good time. Hey, my mom's making peasant-kabobs for dinner TOO! Right. Anyway. You dead. Thanks for playing, and try not to die.&quot; '''Warning:''' As you can see, this kills you.<br /> ***(at the secret glen after getting the first arrow OR at the secret glen after getting the second arrow after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;You're pretty much all set on the arrow front. They're kinda cool, though.&quot;<br /> ***(at the secret glen after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;You grab yet another arrow from the tree hoping to get some bonus points.&quot;<br /> ***(at Kerrek's body after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;Eww! No way. That thing's got some serious Kerrek-Brand kooties on it now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage, while she has the baby) - &quot;'You want to be a part of this family? GO GET US THOSE RICHES!!' she shrieks.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bell&quot;''' (in the inn, after getting a room) - &quot;You can't. It looks like it's been somehow olded&lt;!-- sic --&gt; to the desk.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (after getting it) - &quot;You totally got the belt already, as evidenced by the rancid cloud of odor that follows you like a shadow.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;berries&quot;'''<br /> ***(the same bush twice outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You already searched that bush. It was okay. Nothing to write home about... oh, wait... you don't have a home. My b.&quot;<br /> ***(after you've gotten the trinket, outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You've searched your fill of berry bushes for this game. If you want to search more press 'reload' on the browser&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake) - &quot;NO MAN! JEEZ!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bone/skull&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff) - &quot;Eww. No. Grody. You're grody. No. Eww.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;broom&quot;''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;No, no. The broom is in the foreground and you can't take things from the foreground. You don't see me all typing 'get browser window', do you?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bucket&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;You can't, it's tied to a rope and you're terrible with knots.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;candle&quot;''' (at night, in the inn) - &quot;It seems like you should be able to do that, doesn't it? Sorry. No dice.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;chair&quot;''' <br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is there) - &quot;No. There's a big bag of something in it. Oh, that's the baby lady.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is gone) - &quot;No. Too big for pants.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;club&quot;''' (outside the Jhonka's cottage when he's out) - &quot;Now there's a surefire way to get yourself killed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;You get a hernia from lifting it. -2 Movement points, -10 Constitution. Don't do that again.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage after stealing feed) - &quot;You don't need anymore. It might give rise to old temptations.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fire&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, before getting the horse grease) - &quot;You're just not flammable enough.&quot;<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting the horse grease) - &quot;You don't need to get IT. Just let IT get YOU.&quot;<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting on fire) - &quot;You're already on fire! What? You want to be MORE on fire?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;You nasty. Besides, they wouldn't survive a minute away from that horse's butt.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;gold/money&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Um, that's chicken feed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;grease&quot;''' (inside the inn, at night, when you already got the grease) - &quot;You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;hay&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;Who do you think you are? Some kind of Thy Dungeonman? You don't need any hay.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;There's a huge bale a couple of screens over from here. Why bother stealing?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain whether or not he's still alive) - &quot;Well, he does smell real bad. But he's a bit too big to fit in your pocket.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lantern&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;Better not. There's an engraved plaque on it that says, &quot;Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of 'You Die'.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;mud&quot;'''<br /> ***(when it's wet, before you fall in) - &quot;You can't get the mud so much. More like the mud'll get you.&quot;<br /> ***(when it's wet, after you fall in) - &quot;You've already gotten an heapin' helpin' all up on yo'self.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;map&quot;''' (at your cottage, after you've gotten it) - &quot;Yeah but like you already map the took, guy!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;note&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Jhonka's cave) - &quot;It's been magically sealed to the door with a wondrously whimsical spell.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;What is it with you and notes?! No!!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;old man rub&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;You disgust me.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;paper&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Naw, it might be important to that wrinkly old loon.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;painting&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Weird. It's actually painted right into the wall. Like, the frame and everything.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles&quot;'''<br /> ***(after you've gotten them) - &quot;Come now. We've been through this jaunty little bit before. You took them from the half lake screen with the cattail and stuff.&quot;<br /> ***(from the opposite side of where you get the pebbles) &quot;You do your best Mr. Fantastic impression, but you can't reach them from here.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;plague&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;Wrong game, Mispeller Jones. Try the little button to the left of the 'W'.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;plaque&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;You have enough of that on your browning, rotten peasant teeth already.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pillow&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;Not a chance. There's even more questionable stains on that pillow than there are on that rug.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You don't have anywhere to use it and it is rather bulky, so you leave it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pot&quot;''' (in the inn, after you already have horse grease) - &quot;You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;robe&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, after you've gotten it) - &quot;You still remember the time when you took them. Oh, the times have changed ... but the robes?&quot;<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, when the drawer is closed) - &quot;You reach into the closed drawer and nearly break your hand slamming it. Just like a bird on a pane of glass minus the blamelessness.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rock&quot;'''<br /> ***(by the stream) - &quot;For what? Now you're just making up puzzles to solve.&quot;<br /> ***(at the mud puddle) - &quot;That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me.&quot;<br /> ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage, after moving it) - &quot;You've already moved the stone out of the way to reveal a less-than-peasant-sized hole.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rug&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;You're not touching that thing. Too many questionable stains on it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;stuff/food&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Which foodstuffs?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;target&quot;''' (at the archery range) - &quot;No. Those will fall on you and more than likely kill you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;give _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;(anything not listed)&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;We don't need that mess.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere except for the woman's cottage) - &quot;You don't need to give that now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn, before you get the baby) - &quot;You have no baby nor any immediate prospects.&quot;<br /> ***(in the inn, when you already have the pills) - &quot;You already milked that fogey for all the pills he's worth.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;riches&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, before getting the riches) - &quot;'That's right,' she whines. 'Find my riches, and give here.'&quot;<br /> ***(outside Jhonka's cave, before jumping in hay) - &quot;The Jhonka will see you! And rip out your jugular with his teeth or something equally horrible.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, after giving the riches) - &quot;We did that already, and it was sort of humiliating.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trinket&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot; 'Did you find that thing in my yard?' she asks. 'I got that thing free in a box of Plaguezees. I need some FOR REAL riches!' &quot;<br /> ***(inside woman's cottage after giving trinket to Mendelev) &quot; 'Why are you holding your hand out?' she asks. 'I told you I need riches, so I can't give em away.' You don't have a trinket to give, you realize.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;go _____&quot;''' (anything or letter can be put in here) - &quot;Use the arrow keys, pal. Just like a joypad only more like your day job.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===H===<br /> *'''&quot;haldo&quot;'''<br /> **(anywhere but in the secret glade, before or after talking to Mendelev) - &quot;That's totally not Dongolev.&quot;<br /> **(in the secret glade before talking to Mendelev) - &quot;What'd you read that in PQ Stragedy [sic] Guide? Go talk to my brother first.&quot;<br /> **(in the secret glade after Dongolev leaves) - &quot;Haldo?.' you call out... 'Hadloooooo' [sic] &quot;<br /> **(at the archery Range after Dongolev has returned) - &quot;HALDO!!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;hide in hay&quot;''' (at the hay bale, before getting in) - &quot;Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;hug tree&quot;''' (at the hay bale) - &quot;To every thing, turn, turn, turn. There is a season, turn, turn, turn.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===I===<br /> <br /> ===J===<br /> *'''&quot;jump in hay&quot;''' (by the hay bale, when you're not muddy) - &quot;Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;jump in hay&quot;''' (near the hay bale, when you're muddy but not right next to it) - &quot;Who do you think you are, MJ? Try from a little closer.&quot;<br /> ===K===<br /> *'''&quot;kick/kill/punch poor gary&quot;'''<br /> **(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;You attempt to cause Poor Gary harm for no good reason other than you kinda suck at this game. {Poor Gary kicks you} WOW! For a decrepit old horse, Poor Gary still packs a mean whallop. You dead. Thanks for playing.&quot; '''Warning:''' Needless to say, this kills you.<br /> **(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;kill _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Those flies and that horse's butt have a symbiotic relationship. You have no right to disrupt that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (after he's outside) - &quot;No way! Jhonka's are born scrappers. He may be little, but he'll crawl ya.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is present and you do not have the bow and arrow) - &quot;With what?! You got no weapons except your butter-knife wit.&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the arrow, but not the bow) - &quot;With what?! You gonna throw that arrow at him?&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the bow, but not the arrow) - &quot;With what?! You got no arrow, fool!&quot;<br /> ***(after the Kerrek is dead) - &quot;Yeah. You smote the Kerrek. You deserve a trophy full of Mutton-ums.&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is not there) - &quot;Good idea. But you kinda need the actual Kerrek to be here for that to work.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;''' (while Trogdor's asleep, in his lair) - &quot;Like how?&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;knock&quot;'''<br /> **(at the woman's cottage) - &quot; 'It's open,' says a female voice from inside. Um, it's NOT open, but you get her drift.&quot;<br /> **(at the woman's cottage, after she leaves) - No one answers. That crazy lady took off. How ever will you get past this closed door now?<br /> **(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - &quot;A gravelly voice inside yells, 'JUST US CHICKENS' '''or:''' 'NO FOR RENT' '''or:''' 'I GIVE LAST YEAR!' '''or:''' 'GAVE AT OFFICE' '''or:''' 'GO WAY!'&quot;<br /> **(at the inn, while it's closed) - &quot;No answer.&quot;<br /> **(at the inn, after it's been opened) - &quot;Just open it, man!&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;You could knock until your knuckles bleed. Nobody's home.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;Knock until knuckles bleed&quot;'''<br /> **(at Naked Ned's cottage)-&quot;You knock for about 4 hours until your knuckles are raw and bloody. That was fun!&quot;<br /> **(type it again at Naked Ned's cottage)-&quot;You done that already. A great time was had by all.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===L===<br /> *'''&quot;light lantern&quot;'''<br /> **(at the burninated trees before it is lit) - &quot;With what? Your red-hot intellect?&quot;<br /> **(at the burninated trees after it is lit) - &quot;Already lit, moron.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;load&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;look _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''(at anything, while hiding inside the bale of hay)''' - &quot;Right now, you see a bunch of hay.&quot;<br /> **'''(at something previously in your inventory but now gone)''' - &quot;You used to have one, before the great item blight of 402. Check your INVENTORY to read about it.&quot; <br /> **'''(at something currently in your inventory)''' - &quot;You've totally got one of those! Check your INVENTORY to give'r a serious looksee.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;arrow&quot;''' (at the hidden glen) - &quot;Somebody call a tree doctor. Them puppies are stuck in there like a, um, er ... stuck pig.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage while she has the baby) - &quot;Peasant babies are pretty freaking adorable. This little guy's no exception.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bed&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Is that just a fitted sheet over a slab of concrete?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bell&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Tis broked.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;Yecch. I wouldn't touch that unless it was, like, an important quest item or something.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;berries&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake) &quot;Shut up.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Crunch berries maybe.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;boat/dinghy&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot;Keep your eyes off my dinghy!&quot; <br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake after he is gone) - &quot;It was loaned out to the [[Fishing Challenge '91|Fishing Challenge videogame]].&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bone/skeleton/skull&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff for the bone and skull and in Trogdor's outer sanctum for the skeleton) - &quot;You can't be sure but you think those are dead person bones.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bush&quot;''' (at the west side of the lake) - &quot;Don't worry about that bush. Yeah, there's red berries on it but never you mind.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bushes&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You suspect they might be crunch berry bushes.&quot;<br /> ***(in the hidden glen) - &quot;There's some thick 'ol bushes up in this hidden glen.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;candle&quot;''' (in the inn after getting a room) - &quot;That candle's not at all on fire.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;cave&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the Jhonka's cave) - &quot;Just a little cave. Calm down.&quot;<br /> ***(at the top of the cliff) - &quot;The cave entrance beckons to you like a hot mutton sandwich might.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;chair&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;One of those self-rocking kind. Not bad for a brown-collar peasant-type. Must be trickle-down in action.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;club/turkey leg&quot;''' (at the Jhonka's cave when he's outside) - &quot;Turkey leg or no, it looks like the Jhonka's been gnawing on it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;cottage&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the yellow tree) - &quot;You see a cottage in the distance. You hold your fingers up to one eye and pretend to squash it.&quot;<br /> ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;A run-of-the-mill, non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You had a cottage once. A lot like this one. *sniff* Trogdor will pay!&quot;<br /> ***(at your burninated cottage) - &quot;All your baubles and trinkets, your flasks and scrolls, your goblets and staffs! BURNINATED!!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;crank&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the well before putting pebbles in the bucket) - &quot;It looks rusted in place.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well after putting pebbles in the bucket) - &quot;That is a bonafide crank. It seems to work now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;curtain/beads&quot;''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;That thing's awesome. You always wanted one for your dorm room but your roommate was a total drag and said no.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;desk&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the archery range) - &quot;It says 'archery' on it. My wife's drunk.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn) - &quot;There's a broken bell and a piece of parchment on there.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;Just a door. A door with a note on it.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;A wicked beaded curtain hangs in the doorway.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Listen to you, &quot;look door&quot; What kinda gaming is that? It's a door and it's closed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Cool Ranch. Your old favorite.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fence&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;A particularly rickety peasant-issue fence. Trogdor uses bits of these as toothpicks.&quot;<br /> ***(by haystack/Jhonka's cottage/Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;A standard peasant fence. Trogdor makes milk's meat outta these things.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Wow! There's a hole in it on THIS side too!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;A cloud of buttflies fly around the horse's butt.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;footprints/tracks&quot;''' (when the Kerrek is present) - &quot;It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;footprints/tracks&quot;''' (when the Kerrek is not present) - &quot;If you weren't a simpleton you might think these were Kerrek prints. But since you are a simpleton, you just go, 'Yay! Piggies!' &quot;<br /> **'''&quot;ground&quot;''' - &quot;Hey, it's your old fireproof map of Peasantry.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;hay&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;It reminds you of a warm, safe place where as a child you'd hide.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Hay is for horses!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;This bag o' bones looks like he's headed for the glue factory. He's got the name 'Poor Gary' branded onto his hide.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in hay&quot;''' (at the hay bale) - &quot;You search and search through the haystack. Nope. No needles.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;It's dark and welly in there. Smell like stank too.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;inn&quot;''' (outside the inn) - &quot;Looks okay from out here. But do they have a free breakfast buffet?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (at the Jhonka's cottage when he's outside) - &quot;The Jhonka is gray and grody. He's got a cromagnon forehead and jaw with a pair of wicked incisors. He sports an old loin-cheese cloth and carries either a big club or one of those roasted turkey legs you got at the Ren Fest.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - &quot;It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!&quot;<br /> ***(while he's decomposing) - &quot;He dead. You didn't think he could have smelled any worse? Well, guess what: He smells worse.&quot;<br /> ***(when he's all bones) - &quot;He dead. He wasn't fat, he was just big boned! Poor pig-man.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;knight/man/dude/guy&quot;''' (at the mountain pass) - &quot;He looks way cooler than you.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lady/woman&quot;''' <br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she's still there) - &quot;Typical pasty peasant woman, overbearing and judgemental&lt;!-- sic --&gt;. Obsessed with goods and land.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, after she's gone) - &quot;I can't believe you thought you had a chance with her!/Dork!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lake&quot;''' (at the fisherman's lake) - &quot;Why it's half a lake.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;lake/water&quot;''' (at the lake with pebbles) - &quot;It extends onto the next screen and has a sandy shore.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;lantern&quot;'''<br /> ***(while unlit; at the burninated trees) - &quot;It's unlit at the moment. That fancy pants royal knight probably lights it on nights when Troggie's on the prowl.&quot;<br /> ***(while lit; at the burninated trees) - &quot;It's lit! Musta been a Trogdor sighting tonight.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lightning&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff) - &quot;Scary. Like Auntie Gerelda's crow's feet.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;man&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;He's an older peasant with big cotton swabs stuffed up his nose. Oh wait. Those are nose hairs. Grody.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;man/guy/peasant/old guy/old man&quot;''' (at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot;An older peasant sits silently in a boat with his line in the water.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;ned&quot;''' (at the wavy tree, when Naked Ned is peeking out) - &quot;A fairly naked man is peeking out behind that tree.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;openings&quot;''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;They're mysterious and out of reach. Like girls were to you in high school.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;painting&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;It's a painting of dogs playing 'Magic: The Nerdening.'&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;paper&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;It says, 'Note to self: Wave arms wildly!'&quot;<br /> ***(at your burninated cottage) - &quot;Hey, it's your old fireproof map to Peasantry.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pillow&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;If you sleep in that bed, you're NOT putting your head on that nasty pillow.&quot;<br /> ***(in the woman's cottage) - &quot;Swedish foam. Your favorite.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pot&quot;''' (in the inn after getting a room) - &quot;It's full of horse grease. I guess that sounds useful.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rock&quot;'''<br /> ***(by the stream) - &quot;The ages have worn this rock down. It is a rock of ages. Still a-rollin.&quot;<br /> ***(at the mud patch) - &quot;That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage after removing it) - &quot;Some jerk removed a loose stone from the back of the cottage.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rug&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Maybe that used to be a magic carpet. But it's sure a cat pee-stained carpet now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;sand&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake) - &quot;One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty two... One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty three... Drat! You lost count again.&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the pebbles) - &quot;Remember those pebbles on the beach? Man, those were good times.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;shelf&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Nothing but a bag of chicken feed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;sign&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the mountain pass) - &quot;What that sign there? That sign says 'Trogdor.'&quot;<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;If you can't read that sign, you need to quit playing this game.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;stump&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated trees) - &quot;NOT a good place to sit.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;You run out of ideas as to what to do next, and stare at the stump.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;target&quot;''' (at the archery range) - &quot;Hey, they had those same targets at Peasant Scout Camp!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated trees) - &quot;Severely burninated. They could probably use some salve.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown!&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Dude, and then the elf, like, totally climbed up it. It was awesome!&quot;<br /> ***(at the wavy tree) - &quot;It's weird and wavy.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well) - &quot;That's one orange tree alright.&quot;<br /> ***(at the yellow tree) - &quot;You're really hurtin' for puzzle solutions, huh?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trees&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You are an incredibly boring person.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Trogdor's lair, while he's asleep) - &quot;Holy crap! Trogdor's way bigger in person than he looks in most tapestries you've seen. All of the sudden, losing your cottage doesn't seem so bad anymore.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's lair, when he's awake) - &quot;Trogdor is looming menacingly over you with a tiny wee sword stuck in his belly. He looks like he's gonna kill you really soon.&quot;<br /> ***(at mountain pass) - I know it's labeled 'Trogdor,' but it's really just a sign, silly. I mean, attack it if you want...<br /> **'''&quot;water&quot;''' (by the stream) - Got a rock in it.<br /> **'''&quot;waterfall&quot;''' (at the waterfall) - &quot;Upon closer inspection, you discover it's not magical. That's just mist, not magic sparkles or anything.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Pretty average. You're not a big well person. You're more into bridges. It does have a cute little bucket though. Your dad liked buckets. Oh, and there's a metal crank too. Meemaw loved cranks.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;window&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;Check it out! There's an INN in there.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn) - &quot;Check it out! There's a Peasantry out there!&quot;<br /> <br /> ===M===<br /> *'''&quot;make friends with kerrek&quot;''' - &quot;Look, it didn't work for Strongbad [sic] and it's not gonna work for you either.&quot; (As seen in [[for kids]])<br /> *'''&quot;map&quot;''' (before you find the map; anywhere) - &quot;We are neither confirming nor denying the presence of a map in this game, but irridisregardless, you don't have one.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===N===<br /> <br /> ===O===<br /> *'''&quot;open _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - &quot;It's locked. With one o' them SCHLAGE deadbolts, too. Those things are hard core.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;How? There's no knob.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - &quot;It's already open. Since this is an adventure game we're gonna proffer you adventure yourself on in there.&quot;<br /> ***(at the inn, while it's closed) - &quot;It's locked fast!&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn, before getting a room) - &quot;'That's the pantry,' says the Innkeeper. 'Employees only.'&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage when it's open) - &quot;Yeah, totally! Except it's already open you moron.&quot;<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage after getting the robe and closing the drawer) - &quot;You already closed it, which was nice, and so we gave you some points. Let sleeping drawers lie.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===P===<br /> *'''&quot;party&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You are part of the Whig party. They are making gangrene-awareness their number one campaign priority.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;pet horse/poor gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Aww, that's sweet. Poor Gary tries in vain to bite your arm off.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;[[pwd]]&quot;''' - Prints on-screen your location as a (fake) directory.<br /> *'''&quot;put _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Where you wanna toss em?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby in well/bucket&quot;''' (at the well, before getting the baby) - &quot;Hmmmm... A baby, eh? You check your sundial. Babies-R-Us is probably closed by now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby in well&quot;'''<br /> ***(after getting the sub) - &quot;Li'l tyke seems to enjoy the ride, but - thin or not - we've got a plot to advance here.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well with the baby) - &quot;Jeez man! At least put the poor little guy in the bucket! Give him a fighting chance!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles&quot;''' - &quot;Where you wanna toss em?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles in bucket&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the well, when you don't have them) - &quot;Find some pebbles first and you might have the makings of a good idea. About time.&quot;<br /> ***(after getting the maskus) - &quot;We've already been through this exercise and it went pretty well, ya?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles in well&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the well, when you have them) - &quot;Then it'd be tough to get them back. You never go ANYWHERE without your rocks&quot;<br /> ***(at the well, when you don't have them) - &quot;Riiight, right. Which ones?&quot;<br /> <br /> ===Q===<br /> *'''&quot;quit&quot;''' - &quot;Well fine Boring Sanders! Hope you saved your game cause it is OVER between us!&quot; '''Warning:''' The game still quits.<br /> <br /> ===R===<br /> *'''&quot;ride horse/poor gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Naw, snapping horse spines just doesn't seem as cool as it did in high school.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;ring bell&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Instead of ringing or dinging, it just goes DUNG.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===S===<br /> *'''&quot;save&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;scare horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before getting the mask) - &quot;You tell Gary the &quot;THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!&quot; one but he doesn't act very scared. He's probably heard it before.&quot; '''or:''' &quot;You tell Gary about how much cholesterol is in hay and how his arteries are probably all black and clogged. He shrugs it off.&quot; '''or:''' &quot;You tell Gary the story about the kid who pops this big zit he has and all these baby spiders come out. It doesn't phase him.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;sit on stump&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Are you THAT bored?! Do some questing already!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;skip stones&quot;''' (at the west side of the lake) - &quot;You've always been terrible at skipping stones. And you're even worse at just plain throwing rocks in lakes. You decide to save yourself the embarrassment.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;sleep&quot;'''<br /> **(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;That's probably how the first baby got here. Forget it.&quot;<br /> **(in the inn while the man is there) - &quot;You probably want to talk to that stinky old guy over there about that.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;smell/sniff&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Smells like a computer game.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;swim&quot;'''<br /> **(at the rock in the river) - &quot;Peasants can't swim. Like, it's illegal.&quot;<br /> **(at the waterfall) - &quot;That waterfall would probably churn you into one of those weight-gain protein smoothies.&quot;<br /> **(at the west side of the lake) - &quot;Not in this game, Swimmer [[Dan]]! In this game, you drown.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===T===<br /> *'''&quot;talk&quot;'''<br /> **(at the archery range, while away from or behind the desk) - &quot;Why don't you saddle up to the front of the table there, cowboy?&quot;<br /> **(at the archery range, after beating the minigame) - &quot;Go away!&quot; says Dongolev. &quot;We're arguing about who's hotter,&quot; adds Mendelev.<br /> **(at wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- &quot;You startled him and he disappears!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;talk ____&quot;'''<br /> **'''(someone not in the screen, inanimate, or nonexistent; anywhere)''' - &quot;It's sad when you have to make up people to talk to.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage, before you get the baby) - &quot;You say some cute, stupid stuff and the baby just blows snot bubbles.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen when he's there) - &quot;Your attempts at conversation are met with horse grunts and tail flaps. Which is better than you do at conversation with most people.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (while inside the hay) - &quot;Not now! You'll blow your cover!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - &quot;Me llamo Julio,' you begin... It seems only to further anger the already temperamental Kerrek. That stupid 'Learn Kerrek in 3 Weeks' cassette did nothing for you!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lady&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage after she's gone) - &quot;You'd call out her name and let it ring through the empty room, enveloping you in sorrow, but you don't actually know her name.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;Naked Ned&quot;''' (at the wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- &quot;'Never speak of this meeting!' says the nudie and he disapperars.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;''' (at the wavy tree) - &quot;Trees can't talk but a breeze picks up and you swear the leaves whisper the words 'Naked Ned.' Weird.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;''' (in Trogdor's lair while he's asleep) - &quot;You yell some choice expletives at Trogdor but he doesn't wake up. There's a cool echo, though.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;well&quot;''' (At the well) &quot;You yell into the well and enjoy the echo. Keep in mind there are no stereos yet.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;this sucks&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;throw _____&quot;'''<br /> **(anything but the feed; at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot; 'That isn't gonna work for bait!' the old man screams, at a needlessly harsh volume.&quot;<br /> **(anything; when the fisherman is gone) - &quot;You already fed the fish. Let's get moving, here, people!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but the west side of the lake) - &quot;Hmmm. Maybe try someplace else.<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake before getting the baby) - &quot;I think you misread the walkthrough on GameFAQs. You gotta get the baby first.&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the soda) - &quot;Baby Dashing is a little waterlogged from the toss, and you read his soft gurgling to mean that there's no more soda left.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere without the baby) - &quot;You don't even have two babies to rub together.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the east side of the lake before getting the feed) - &quot;You have nothing with which to do that...with.&quot;<br /> ***(at the east side of the lake after throwing the feed) - &quot;You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!&quot; (The repetition is probably just a goof.)<br /> *'''&quot;try&quot;''' - (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Okay, fine. You try to cut off your hard-earned extremities. It doesn't work. You dead. Thanks for nothing.&quot; '''Warning:''' You die.<br /> *'''&quot;turn crank&quot;'''<br /> **(at the well, on the other side of the screen) - &quot;You got a short reach to match your short pants. Try standing closer to that crank.&quot;<br /> **(at well, after you get the maskus) - {first time} &quot;Down she goes! You could do this all day!&quot; {second time} &quot;The drama grips you, but the bucket is empty. On the bright side, you're getting a pretty sweet workout for your Deltoidus Rex muscles.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===U===<br /> *'''&quot;use/deploy baby&quot;'''<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, before getting the baby) - &quot;Swell idea, but is you ain't my baby? I.e. you ain't got one?&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, before moving the stone) - &quot;Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm.&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, after the baby has left) - &quot;Li'l P.B. has moved on, and the door seems to be open...I can't see why we'd go through this all over again.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;use pebbles&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;What do you propose to do with them? Discuss.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===V===<br /> <br /> ===W===<br /> *'''&quot;wake up trogdor&quot;''' - &quot;Troggie...&quot;, you murmur. &quot;Troggie, wake up it's time for Burnination school.&quot; He's not budging.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;wear _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (after getting the belt) - &quot;You're already wearing it. Too bad you smell like the trash barge off Peasant Isle.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;mask&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Not on this screen. You've got your image to think about. Actually, you might want to start deliberating on that right now.&quot;<br /> ***(in Poor Gary's glen after scaring him) - &quot;Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;robe&quot;'''<br /> ***(if the robe is not in your inventory) - &quot;You don't have anything but your 'Scalding Lake' t-shirt. And pants. Forgot to mention the pants.&quot;<br /> ***(if you are already wearing the robe) - &quot;You're already in the old skool robe. Represent.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;what the f&amp;mdash;&quot;''' ''([[Swears|uncensored version]])''&lt;!--actually &quot;what the fuck&quot;--&gt; (anywhere) - &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;where&quot;''' (anywhere) - Tells you where you are.<br /> *'''&quot;why&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;I wish I knew.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===X===<br /> <br /> ===Y===<br /> *&quot;'''Yes'''&quot; (to the Jhonka when he asks you about his riches)- &quot;'I KILL YOU!!' screams the Jhonka. ''{The Jhonka clubs you to death}'' Club or turkey leg, the jhonka sure just beat you senseless with whatever he was holding. You dead. Thanks for playing!&quot; '''Warning:''' Obviously, you will die.<br /> <br /> ===Z===<br /> <br /> ===Action Based===<br /> '''Warning:''' All of the below will kill you.<br /> <br /> *'''(Walk too close to the Kerrek)''' - ''{The Kerrek pounds your head into the ground}'' Your mom always told you not to take head poundings from strange Kerreks. And NOW looks what's happened. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Walk in the path of Dongelev's arrows)''' - ''{Dongolev shoots you in the head}'' That guy has no sense. He shot you. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Nice one, William Tell. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Leave the screen after putting the baby in the bucket)''' - Nice try. Ditch the baby at the bottom of the well, eh? Thought you'd be able to just walk away and it's nothing by mead and wenches from now on, huh? Well guess what? You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Hit by rock or pterodactyl when climbing the cliff)''' - ''{You fall to the ground and lie in a heap}'' Oops! You climbed real bad. You knew that you were AVOIDING the rocks, right? Not collecting them. Anyways, nice try. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Walk too close to Trogdor while he's asleep)''' - ''{Trogdor burninates you without waking up}'' Yow. Looks like you got a little too close. You dead. Maybe next time don't get too close.<br /> <br /> {{Peasant's Quest}}<br /> [[Category:Peasant's Quest]] [[Category:Lists]]</div> Mon, 18 Jun 2007 18:32:05 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Talk:Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses <p>GWR 2004:&#32;/* Area Descriptions */ another description: Kerrek Tracks - no Kerrek</p> <hr /> <div>[[Image:PQ_look_footprints.png|thumb|300px|&gt; LOOK FOOTPRINTS]]<br /> The [[Peasant's Quest]] game relies on text commands to complete objectives in the game. While there are programmed responses to all of the necessary actions in the game's storyline, the game contains many responses to unproductive commands as well.<br /> <br /> {| border=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;toc&quot;<br /> ! align=&quot;center&quot; | {{int:toc}}<br /> |-<br /> | align=&quot;left&quot; |<br /> *[[#Walkthrough Messages|1 Walkthrough Messages]]<br /> *[[#The Three Keepers' Messages|2 The Three Keepers' Messages]]<br /> **[[#The First Keeper|2.1 The First Keeper]]<br /> **[[#The Second Keeper|2.2 The Second Keeper]]<br /> **[[#The Third Keeper|2.3 The Third Keeper]]<br /> *[[#Area Descriptions|3 Area Descriptions]]<br /> *[[#Other Productive Responses|4 Other Productive Responses]]<br /> **[[#Constructive Conversations|4.1 Constructive Conversations]]<br /> **[[#Useful Documents|4.2 Useful Documents]]<br /> **[[#Helpful Hints|4.3 Helpful Hints]]<br /> *[[#Unproductive Responses|5 Unproductive Responses]]<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==Walkthrough Messages==<br /> {{spoiler}}<br /> The following are the messages displayed while completing the minimal number of tasks to achieve a perfect score. Note that different messages may be displayed for a game completed differently (e.g. if the Three Keepers' questions are answered), and that there are [[#Unproductive Responses|many other messages]] that may be displayed in response to inputs that are not constructive and/or not essential to completion of the game.<br /> <br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Points !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || YOU are Rather Dashing, a humble peasant living in the peasant kingdom of Peasantry.&lt;br&gt;You return home from a vacation on Scalding Lake only to find that TROGDOR THE BURNINATOR has burninated your thatched roof cottage along with all your goods and services.&lt;br&gt;With nothing left to lose, you swear to get revenge on the Wingaling Dragon in the name of burninated peasants everywhere. || 3B<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || You head east towards the mountain atop which TROGDOR lives. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || That's a nice looking lake. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || You can start playing in a second here. || 2D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || Okay, go for it. || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || get pebbles || You grab up a handful of fairly substantial pebbles. You make sure to get an even mix of sedentary, igneous, and, um, sureptitious rocks. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || put rocks in bucket || You plunk all your pebbles into the bucket. The weight causes it to descend to the bottom of the well with a quickness! || 1D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || turn crank || &quot;The crank seems to have loosened and you haul the bucket back up. What's this? Why there's a monster maskus in there! No doubt leftover from some pagan ritual. Silly pagans.&lt;br&gt;You grab up the scary moster maskus. Man, this thing could scare a horse! || 1D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || talk man || &quot;Oh, hi. I'm Mendelev,&quot; says the archer. &quot;I used to run a shooting range here with my brother Dongolev. But we don't talk so much anymore. I haven't seen him in a Jhonka's age. If you ever run into him, telll him I said 'haldo'.&lt;br&gt;&quot;You mean 'hello,'&quot; you ask?&lt;br&gt;&quot;Oh, um. No. Shut up. I said 'haldo' and I meant 'haldo.' Tell him I said 'haldo.'&quot;<br /> || 2D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || wear mask || You slip on the hideous monster maskus.&lt;br&gt;You scared the crap outta Poor Gary! He broke on through to the other side! || 1A<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || haldo || the archer stops arching and turns to you. &quot;My brother told you to tell me haldo? He must want to start the old business back up!&quot; || Hidden glen<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || get arrow || You pick out a really good one and yank it from the tree. Hooray! Now you have an arrow! || Hidden glen<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || get chicken feed || You used to eat this stuff like crazy when you were a kid and your parents weren't watching (which was all too often). You grab several large handfuls. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || the baby lady calls after you, &quot;Hey, you're on some quest right? Well, the little squirt here lost something of mine in the yard the other day. It's yours if you can find it.&quot; || Baby lady cottage<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (first bush) || You reach into the bush to snag some berries but they all just squish in your hand. || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (second bush) || Man, nothing in this bush but squished berries either. || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (third bush) || Too bad you don't want any squished berries, cuz hey: jackpot! || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 2 || get berries (fourth bush) || You reach into the bush to snag you some berries but instead find a Super Trinket! These things are awesome! You have a sneaking suspicion that SOMEONE in this game will need this thing. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || throw chicken feed || You toss the feed into the lake. You shed a tear for each one. &quot;Goodbye, Monty&quot; you sniff. &quot;Bye Delga, Rasputin. Farewell, Combledon!&quot; and so forth.&lt;br&gt;Woah! That crotchety old man just caught a pantload of fish! &quot;Now I can get back to running the inn,&quot; he says and rows to shore and hauls his boat out and cleans, guts, and filets all the fish and a buncha other stuff we didn't animate. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || give super trinket || &quot;That'll work,&quot; says Mendelev. Just hit 3 bullseyes and you win the SuperTime FunBow TM!&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;The ARROW KEYS aim left and right and the SPACE BAR operates the bow. You'll need to press it a couple of times to get a nice shot off but we don't give lessons so you're on your own.&quot; || 2C<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (get [X]=3-5 bullseyes) || &quot;Nice shootin! [X] hits.&quot; Says Mendelev. &quot;Here's your prize!&quot; You got the SuperTime FunBow TM! We don't sell ammo, so you'll have to find your own arrows for it. || 2C<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || shoot Kerrek with bow || Here goes nothin', Kid Icarus&lt;br&gt;ARROWED!! Nice shot. You smote the Kerrek! He lay there stinking.&lt;br&gt;A light rain heralds the washing free of the Kerrek's grip on the land. You're feeling pretty good, though, so the artless symbolism doesn't bug you. || 1B or 4C<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || get belt || You strap the Kerrek's belt buckle around your waist. Oh boy. You sure stink now. || 1B or 4C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || (walk into mud puddle) || Now you've done it! You're covered in sticky, albeit fine smelling, mud. Your &quot;Scalding Lake&quot; T-shirt is all soiled, too. You just washed it last harvest! || 2B<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || jump into hay || You've not known much better than a roll in the hay alone.&lt;br&gt;You leap in the hay like a two years old boy. Uh oh. The hay sticks to your muddy body. You're a walking hay bale! Just like that one guy from that one show! || 2A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (walk to Jhonka's cave) || Hey, nice disguise! The Jhonka doesn't seem to notice you. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 7 || steal riches || Oh OH! A stiff breeze blew all the hay and, surprisingly, the mud off of you! &quot;You take my riches?!&quot; growls the Jhonka. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || No || &quot;Okay. Lemme know if you see riches anywhere,&quot; he grunts and goes back to his hopping. You smooth talker, you. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give riches || &quot;My riches!!&quot; she screams and snatches up every last gold coin. &quot;Thanks, sucker! Here you go!&quot; she shoves the baby into your hands and bolts out the door.&lt;br&gt;You later learn that she does this all the time and is wanted throughout the countryside. Those riches probably WERE the Jhonka's and who knows whose baby that is. Well, it's yours now. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || This place is dead anyway. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || throw baby || Something tells you this is a good idea and you lob the little one into the lake.&lt;br&gt;You won't be arrested after all! The little guy has resurfaced safely, carrying an old bottle of soda. You take the soda and stow your swaddling buddy for takeoff. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || put baby in bucket || Okay, Father of the Year. You put a baby in a bucket and it quickly descends deep into the well. Yours is a black, black heart. || 1C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || turn crank || You haul the bucket back up. Lucky for you, the baby is still in it and appears to be unscathed. As a bonus, it looks like he found a Meatball sub down there. Score! You take the sub.&lt;br&gt;Oh, and the baby. You take the baby. || 1C<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give baby || &quot;Well lookit that little guy!&quot; says the Innkeeper. &quot;You want a treat, do ya? What do babies like?&quot; He fishes around in his pockets.&lt;br&gt;&quot;Um, how bout my medication!&quot; You grab the bottle of pills before he can force them on the baby. &quot;Hey, those were for him!&quot; || inn<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || move rock || You slide the stone over to reveal a little hole. If only you could cut off your arms, legs, and head you might be able to squeeze through! || 4A<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || put baby into the hole || Deploying Q-Baby...&lt;br&gt;Way to go, baby! It got the cottage door opened and headed off to a new life. He becomes Valedictorian of his graduating class, goes to Scalding Lake State, gets a degree in Advanced Peasantry and lands a job at Thatch-Pro: building better cottages for a better tomorrow.&lt;br&gt;You grow apart and the letters from him become fewer and fewer. He develops a severe mead problem and blames you for never being there. || 4A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open drawer || There's a vintage peasant robe in there! Just like grampa used to wear. || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || get robe || Yeah! Get that robe! || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || close drawer || Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint. || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || wear robe || You slip into the vintage robe. It smells like grampa's lap. Now you're lookin like a serious peasant. || anywhere<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || get room || &quot;Okay, youngster,&quot; says the decrepit old person. &quot;Just bed on down for the night and I'm sure I'll remember to collect the fee come morning.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Night falls like a bad power point presentation.&lt;br&gt;What an uncomfortable bed! You sleep for maybe 20 minutes before the extreme pain in your spine forces you to get up.|| Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || get pot || You reach way up to the top shelf.&lt;br&gt;Oh great! Now you can't see a thing and your head is covered in highly flammable horse grease. You better get out of here before that disgusting old man comes back. || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (exiting inn with pot on head) || Phew! You discard the big black pot and wipe the horse grease from your eyes. The hood of your robe is still covered in highly flammable horse grease, though. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || (walking under candle in burninated trees) || Whoa! The horse grease on your robe caught fire! You're a for-real peasant now. || 4E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (exiting 4E) || Man, screens sure get light fast around here. || 1E, 3E, or 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 7 || talk knight || Lookin good, Mr. Peasant. Good luck with ol' Beefy Arm up there.&lt;br&gt;This is it! You can finally get revenge on Trogdor! Nice work so far, stupid!&lt;br&gt;Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter.&lt;br&gt;Disk read error. Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter. || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || climb || With a new determination you dig your fingers into the cliff face and begin to haul yourself up the mountain like you were in a sports drink commercial&lt;br&gt;The mountain starts rumbling and big loose boulders start tumblin down. You'd best avoid thems. || Cliff base<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (successfully climbing the cliff without dying) || Nice jorb climbing the cliff. You have a real way with those arrow keys. || Cliffland heights<br /> |-id=&quot;bribery_route&quot;<br /> | 0 || (approached by first keeper) || Foolish peasant! How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!&lt;br&gt;You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!&lt;br&gt;You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.&lt;br&gt;And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.&lt;br&gt;Unless you happen to have something to eat on ya. Then we could forego my question. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give sandwich || No way! I was just kidding but you've really got a meatball sub. This rules! Here, you can have the Trog-Shield. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (approached by second keeper) || Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!&lt;br&gt;Or we could call it even if I had an ice cold drink right now. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give soda || Sweet deal, peasant. I underestimated you. Wear this Trog-Helmet with style. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (approached by third keeper) || Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!&lt;br&gt;That is, unless you've got something for my lower back. Man, it's killin me! || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give pills || Whoa! Where'd you find this stuff? I don't think this is even legal anymore. These babies'll definitely smote LUMBAGO the, um, LOWER BACKINATOR!!&lt;br&gt;The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (enter Trogdor's cave) || the beaded curtain slams shut behind you. There's no turning back now. || Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 7 || throw sword || This is it! You hurl the Trog-Sword with all your might at the sleeping Burninator.&lt;br&gt;Now you've done it! Trogdor's awake and the Trog-Sword doesn't seem to be doing a whole lot.&lt;br&gt;Your legs lock in fear, your eyes glaze over and you wish for some Depeasant adult undergarments. But you think you hear Trogdor whimpering!&lt;br&gt;Aw crap, that's you whimpering. At least your voice still works, I guess.|| Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 10 || talk trogdor || You scream that your name is Rather Dashing and that Trogdor burninated your cottage and you're here for revenge!&lt;br&gt;&quot;Sup, mortal,&quot; booms Trogdor. &quot;I really appreciate you making the effort to come all the way up here and vanquish me and all. But, I'm kinda indestructible.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Yeah, I can't be killed. I'm surprised nobody mentioned that to you. I'll admit though, you've gotten farther than anybody else ever has. I bet they'll make a statue or something in honor of you somewheres.&lt;br&gt;&quot;I can honestly say it'll be a pleasure and an honor to burninate you, Rather Dashing.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Aw that sure was nice of him!&lt;br&gt;Congratulations! You've won! No one can kill Trogdor but you came closer than anybody ever! Way to go! || Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Peasant's Quest&lt;br&gt;Written by Matt, Jonathan, and Mike || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Programmed by Jonathan || 1E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Graphics by Mike and Matt || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Quality Assurance Types:&lt;br&gt;Neal Stamper,&lt;br&gt;Don Chapman, and John Radle&lt;br&gt;Nice work on winning and everything.&lt;br&gt;THE END || 3B<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==The Three Keepers' Messages==<br /> There are several messages that the game may return while [[Rather Dashing]] is answering questions of [[The Three Keepers of Trogdor]]. The simplest way to complete this part of the game is to bribe the Keepers; the messages returned in this case are listed [[Peasant's Quest Responses#bribery_route|above]]. If Rather Dashing has not acquired the three items necessary to bribe the Keepers, however, he must answer a question from each of them. The messages returned while answering their questions are listed here.<br /> <br /> ===The First Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!&lt;br&gt;You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!&lt;br&gt;You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.&lt;br&gt;And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> ''The First Keeper will ask you one of the following questions (the correct answer is '''highlighted'''):''<br /> :Okay here goes. What did you win from the Archery game?<br /> :A. SuperBow FunTime TM<br /> :'''B. SuperTime FunBow TM'''<br /> :C. SuperFun BowTime TM<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Okay here goes. What does Mendelev have you tell Dongolev?<br /> :'''A. Haldo'''<br /> :B. Hallo<br /> :C. Allo<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Okay here goes. What is the only creature the Jhonka fears?<br /> :A. Poor Gary<br /> :B. The Baby<br /> :'''C. The Kerrek'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;Ah crap! You're right. Here, take this stupid Trog-Shield!&quot;<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> &quot;Sorry peasant! You fail! And as punishment, you will be turned into...RON CUMBERDALE!!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> You ask who the crap Ron Cumberdale is.<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> &quot;Just this kid from 4th grade that I really hated. But he was a BIG LOSER and HE SMELLED!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Well, you not exactly dead. But there's no way you could defeat Trogdor as Ron Cumberdale. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.<br /> <br /> ===The Second Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> :Listen careful now. Which one of these letters is the letter C?<br /> :A. B<br /> :'''B. C'''<br /> :C. A<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Listen careful now. How many berry bushes are there in the whole kingdom of Peasantry?<br /> :A. 4<br /> :'''B. 5'''<br /> :C. 6<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Listen careful now. What was the Innkeeper's pantry full of?<br /> :A. Epsom Salts<br /> :B. Epson Printers<br /> :'''C. Old Man Rub'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;That's right. Oh. This sucks. Guess I have to give you this Trog-Helmet. Dang.&quot;<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> &quot;WRONG! You are hereby cursed to write corny folk songs for the rest of eternity! The kind that only OLD PEOPLE LIKE!!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Well, you not exactly dead. But you certainly can't face Trogdor after writing 'Wheat Grows Sweet, But My Gal's Sweeter'. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.<br /> <br /> ===The Third Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> :Riddle me this. To whom did the robe you're wearing originally belong?<br /> :A. Nobleman Nicholas<br /> :B. Nina Neverawesome<br /> :'''C. Naked Ned'''<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Riddle me this. What color are the leaves on the tree that grows by the well?<br /> :'''A. Orange'''<br /> :B. Green<br /> :C. Yellow<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Riddle me this. Which way does the river that runs through Peasantry flow?<br /> :A. West to East<br /> :B. Northwest to South<br /> :'''C. Northeast to Southwest'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;Uh oh. You got it right. Trogdor's gonna kill me. Okay, you can have the Trog-Sword. Just promise not to kill any Trogdor's with it, kay?&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> You just stare at the Keeper blankly.<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> &quot;Okay fine! You can have the dumb thing anyways. Trogdor's through the beaded curtain over there.&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant.<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> YES! I was hoping you'd get mine wrong. No Trog-Sword for you. In fact, no skin for you either!<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Wow. You sure dead. You had a good run, though. Thanks for playin.<br /> <br /> ''Note: if you fail to provide &quot;A&quot;, &quot;B&quot;, or &quot;C&quot; as an answer to any of the above questions, the Keeper will ask the question again, replacing the first sentence with the following one:'' Peasant fool! Choose A, B, or C!<br /> <br /> ==Area Descriptions==<br /> By typing &quot;look&quot; in an area, you can receive a description of the surrounding area. Sometimes descriptions change as events come to pass.<br /> <br /> *'''Hidden Glen:''' Well, looky here! A hidden glen! You LOVE hidden glens. This one has some kinda archer in it.<br /> **''{after Dongelev leaves}'' You're in a hidden glen. There's a tree with zillions of arrows in it.<br /> *'''Poor Gary's Glen ([[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|A1]]):''' Hey! There's a rotten ol' horse over there!<br /> *'''Kerrek Tracks 1 (B1):''' There are large hoof prints in the grass here.<br /> **''{no Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the the [sic] grass here. And it smells like a public latrine.<br /> **''{living Kerrek}'' It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!<br /> **''{dead Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. There is a large Kerrek-shaped mound on the grass.<br /> **''{rotting Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Part of the ground looks just like a rotting &lt;!--no capital--&gt;kerrek.<br /> **''{skeletal Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Looks like someone left their spare bones here.<br /> *'''Old Well (C1):''' There's a really generic well here. Oh, and apparently it's autumn on this screen.<br /> *'''Yellow Tree (D1):''' Rushing river [[b/w]] yellow tree.<br /> *'''Waterfall (E1):''' There's a beautiful, magical waterfall cascading down the cliff side.<br /> *'''That Hay Bale (A2):''' Well, there's that big bale of hay over there.<br /> **''{when in hay disguise, anywhere}'' Right now, you see a bunch of hay.<br /> *'''That Mud Puddle (B2):''' There's a dried out mud puddle. It's all caked and cracked like the kind rock stars are always standing on.<br /> **''{when raining}'' Not much to see. 'Sides that big mud puddle.<br /> *'''Archery Range (C2):''' You've come across some kind of shooting gallery. There's a depressed looking archer at the desk there.<br /> *'''River and Stone (D2):''' Not much to see. River's got a rock in it.<br /> *'''Mountain Pass (E2):''' You've reached the mountain pass that leads to Trogdor's lair. A royal knight blocks the entrance.<br /> *'''Jhonka's Cave (A3):''' There's a little cave with a little door with a little note on it.<br /> **''{before getting riches, after Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.&lt;!--No space--&gt;A fat pile of riches lies next to him.<br /> **''{after the Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.<br /> *'''Your Burninated Cottage (B3):''' The remains of your thatched-roof cottage lie before you. You swear revenge against Trogdor.<br /> *'''Pebble Lake West (C3):''' There's definitely half a lake here with a sandy shore.<br /> *'''Pebble Lake East (D3):''' Why it's half a lake.<br /> **''{when the old man is fishing}'' Why it's half a lake.&lt;!--there's no space--&gt;With a fisherman in it. And he's fishing!<br /> *'''Outside Giant Inn (E3):''' There's a giant Inn here. It takes up, like, the entire screen.<br /> **'''Inside Giant Inn:''' What a dump! Only one bed and no minibar? The Innkeeper stands behind the desk and there's a door that's closed.<br /> **'''Inside Giant Inn:''' ''{at night}'' It's still dark out. The grimey old Innkeeper is gone and he left the pantry open.<br /> *'''Outside Mysterious Cottage: (A4)''' There's a run-of-the-mill non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.<br /> **'''Inside Mysterious Cottage:''' This place could use some serious sprucing of the 'up' variety. There's a dresser over there and a broom kind of silhouetted all mysterious like.<br /> *'''Wavy Tree (B4):''' Nothing special here except for that weird wavy tree.<br /> *'''Kerrek Tracks 2 (C4):''' ''{same as Kerrek Tracks 1}''<br /> *'''Outside Baby Lady Cottage (D4):''' There's a ranch-style thatched roof cottage here. There are also what appear to be four crunch berry bushes but you can't be sure.<br /> **'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. A lady rocks her baby in a chair. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.<br /> **'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' ''{after the baby lady leaves}'' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. There is one of those self-rocking chairs. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.<br /> *'''Burninated Trees (E4):''' A signal lantern of some kind hangs from a burninated tree.<br /> **''{at night}'' A burning signal lantern hangs from a severely burninated tree.<br /> *'''Cliff Base:''' You're at the base of a very climbable cliff that leads to Trogdor's lair. This cliff is huge - the kind where rocks start falling down the minute you try to climb it.<br /> *'''Cliffland Heights:''' Wow! It sure gets creepy fast around here! What with all the lightning and scary cave entrances.<br /> *'''Trogdor's Outer Sanctum:''' There are 3 openings with a little cliff in front of each. A beaded curtain hangs in a doorway on the far wall.<br /> *'''Trogdor's Posh Lair:''' You're in a giant cavern which houses a giant dragon. You didn't shrink or anything.<br /> <br /> ==Other Productive Responses==<br /> ===Constructive Conversations===<br /> There are some helpful residents of [[Peasantry]] who will provide you with tips about how to proceed in the game. While these conversations are not necessary for completion of the game, many are important to the game's storyline.<br /> <br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Character !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (at beginning of game) || You explain your situation to the knight. That Trogdor burninated your cottage and you've sworn revenge. You ask for passage up the mountain to settle your score. (Press RETURN to advance through conversations)&lt;br&gt;&quot;Hang on there, Trogdorkilla,&quot; says the knight. &quot;I can only allow actual peasants up the mountain pass to face Trogdor. And you CLEARLY are not one.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Look, Dragonheart...&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;You don't STINK like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;You don't DRESS like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;And you're definitely not ON FIRE like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Once you're those 3 things, come back and maybe we can talk.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Be sure to LOOK around lots. Talk to everyone you see and ASK ABOUT stuff. Type HELP if you get confused and INVENTORY to see your worldly stuff. Type SAVE or LOAD to save or load your game. Duh.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;belt_only&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt) || &quot;Frankly, Matthew Broderick, you sure stink like a peasant. But you still don't DRESS like a peasant and you're not ON FIRE like a peasant.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;robe_only&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Naked Ned's robe) || &quot;My dear Adso, you are dressed well but you don't STINK and you're not ON FIRE. Let us instead exercise our brains and try to solve this tantalizing conundrum.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;belt_and_robe&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt and Naked Ned's robe) || &quot;Almost there, Dirk the Daring. You stink like a peasant and you dress like one too. But you're clearly still not ON FIRE.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | [[Baby Lady &amp; Her Baby#The Baby Lady|The Baby Lady]] || talk lady || &quot;Hello, I'm-&quot; you start but the lady cuts you off&lt;br&gt;&quot;Okay, here's why I let you in here,&quot; she explains. &quot;My husband got squished by Trogdor. And to make matters worse, the insurance riches I got were stolen by Jhonka. Go steal them back for us and I'll give you something great.&quot; || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || talk man (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || You holler at the old man about Trogdor, but he just grumbles about the fish not biting. &quot;Must be using the wrong bait...&quot; he says, suggestively. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || talk man (after throwing chicken feed in lake) || &quot;If you're interested in staying the night, just type 'get a room.'&quot; || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || get a room (without robe)|| &quot;I only serve peasants here, fancypants!&quot; barks the old guy. &quot;Where's your robe?&quot; || Inside giant inn<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ===Useful Documents===<br /> There are a few notes and documents lying around Peasantry that help Rather Dashing on his quest.<br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Item !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | [[Peasant's Quest Items#map|Map]] || get map || You tuck it nice-like into your short, short pants. Type MAP at nearly any time to check the map. || 3B<br /> |-<br /> | Note on [[Old Man]]'s door || read note (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || It says, &quot;Gone Fishin&quot; just like that grog coozie your cousin got you. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | Note on [[Jhonka]]'s door || read note (before killing [[Kerrek]]) || It says &quot;scared of kerrek. go way. -j&quot; || 3A<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ===Helpful Hints===<br /> At times when you stray from the correct path in the game, the computer will respond with suggestions to help keep you on the right track.<br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! Action !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | After jumping in the haystack, go from 2A to any screen except 3A || Drat. The winds are heavy on all but a couple of key screens... looks like you're no longer in stealth mode. || 1A or 2B<br /> |-<br /> | Type any command while the pot of horse grease is on your head || You need to get out of there before that smelly octogenarian gets back. || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | Type any command other than &quot;Talk&quot; or &quot;Talk Trogdor&quot; after Trogdor wakes up || Trogdor is awake and a couple seconds from a Rather Dashing BBQ. Might as well say your peace with him. || Trogdor's Posh Lair<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==Unproductive Responses==<br /> [[Image:closedrawer.PNG|thumb|300px|&gt; CLOSE DRAWER]]<br /> There are many messages that the game gives you when you input commands that are not essential to the game's storyline. Here is a list of all that have been found. When more than one option is given, such as &quot;get/take _____&quot;, either word will produce the same response.<br /> <br /> <br /> {{compactTOC3}}<br /> {{clear}}<br /> ===#===<br /> <br /> ===A===<br /> *'''&quot;Ask about _____&quot;:'''<br /> **'''Baby:'''<br /> ***(to Baby Lady) - &quot;This little guy's all I got left. If only someone would steal back all our riches from that filthy Jhonka.&quot;<br /> **'''Fire:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Well, whenever I see peasants, they tend to be on fire. So get yourself on fire. I hear horse grease gives a nice, controlled burn.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;You need fire? A couple of trees over by the waterfall used to be on fire. But now there's like a signal lantern over there or something.&quot; / &quot;So should I ask that signal lantern?&quot; you ask. / &quot;I dunno man! Whattaya want from me?&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Trogdor just burned down some idiot peasant's cottage. You should ask him,&quot; says Mendelev. / &quot;Yeah, this jerk goes on vacation to some prancey lake and...&quot; / They see you staring daggers at them and turn bright red. / &quot;Oh. Nevermind,&quot; says Dongolev. &quot;Um, yeah. What's a fire?&quot; adds Mendelev.<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Burninator make fire! Barbecue all peasants!&quot;<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I've always preferred being on fire at night. Looks prettier and keeps the butterflies away.&quot;<br /> **'''Jhonka:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Since the Kerrek showed up, we don't see the Jhonka so much anymore. He lives in that little cave over in west Peasantry.&quot;<br /> ***(to Baby Lady) - &quot;That nasty thing killed my husband and took my riches!!&quot; / &quot;I thought Trogdor killed your husband,&quot; you interject. / &quot;Oh right. Yeah. That's what I said. Trogband killed my husbdor.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;The Kerrek is dead!&quot; he cries and hops around some more. You wonder how someone this primitive could have made that much dough.<br /> **'''Kerrek:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I call him Big Stinky. He's slow and stupid, but he'll pound you into milks meat without a second thought.&quot;<br /> **'''Naked Ned:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;That weirdo used to live over in west Peasantry but now I guess he just prances around the forest in his birthday suit.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;Don't talk about that pervert in front of the baby here.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;That guy creeps us out. In fact, shut up about him.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Filthy naked peasant! Stay away from my cave-hole!&quot; Who's he calling naked? HE'S the one wearing the string bikini.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;He used to be such a nice, clothed young man. Wonder what he's done with all his old clothes?&quot;<br /> **'''robe:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Peasants wear those brown robes. You know, with the rope around the waist. Get yourself one of those.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;You can't have mine, pervert! I'm not a nudist peasant like that weirdo over in west Peasantry!&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;We wouldn't know. We only wear archer clothes. You just can't arch real well in a robe, y'know?&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - ''see naked ned''<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I wear my robe hood-down so it's easier to trim my ear-hairs. If you need a robe, maybe try someone that's not using theirs.&quot;<br /> **'''smell:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I never met a peasant that didn't stink. If you wanna smell bad, get the Kerrek involved. That thing reeks!&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;What smells is junior here's drawers! I gotta quit feeding him so much horse!&quot; / &quot;And don't start asking me for his diapers, sicko!&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;That giant pig running around sure smells bad. Maybe talk to him.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Kerrek smell! Now Kerrek dead!&quot; screeches the Jhonka. So you can infer from this that all smells are dead? You always sucked at the analytical questions.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;Well, if you don't stink, maybe find something that does and wear it. Like a dead carcass or summat.&quot;<br /> **'''trogdor:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;If I had a gold coin for every whining peasant's cottage that freaking dragon burninated, I'd be rich as a jhonka.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;I hope you kill that stupid dragon. My 'Wives of Squished Peasants' support group would bake you a Poor Gary pie if you did.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Oh man, there was this one time when I came THIS close to having Trogdor ARROWED!&quot; says Dongolev. / &quot;Hey, shut up! That was me!&quot; interrupts Mendelev, &quot;YOU almost arrowed that blue baby!&quot; says Dongolev. [sic] / &quot;Did not!&quot; / &quot;Did so!&quot; / &quot;Did not!&quot; / (You see where this is going.)<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;All hail Burninator! Trogdor Number One! Beat Peasant Tech!&quot; says the grimy Jhonka.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;Are you talking about that young green boy that lives up the street? He's always tearing my roof off and eating my customers.&quot;<br /> **'''anything else:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I don't know anything about that, short pants.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;I dunno what you're talking about.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Either we don't know anything about that, or you're real boring.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Jhonka don't know nothing bout that!&quot;<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I don't know nothing about no whatever you just said.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere else) - &quot;Ask about what?&quot;<br /> : &lt;small&gt;* - You can only ask Mendelev and Dongolev when they're together.&lt;/small&gt;<br /> *'''&quot;attack sign&quot;''' (at the Mountain Pass) - &quot;I was being facetious, Mr. Smarty-short-pants. No sign attacking for you.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===B===<br /> *'''&quot;boo&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Scared me.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;break/kick/punch door&quot;''' (at Outside mysterious cottage) - &quot;Violence is not the answer.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;break sign&quot;''' (at Mountain Pass) - ''See &quot;attack sign&quot;''<br /> *'''&quot;break stump, sit on stump, etc.&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Are you THAT bored? Do some questing already!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;buy kerrek a cold one&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;The kerrek&lt;!--sic--&gt; is a teetotaller and is offended by your offer. You've really cheesed him off now.&quot; '''Warning:''' This speeds the Kerrek up, so be careful. This command was first seen in the email [[for kids]].<br /> <br /> ===C===<br /> *'''&quot;[[The Cheat|cheat]]&quot;''' (or any phrase involving &quot;cheat&quot;; anywhere) - &quot;Meh.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;climb _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;cliff&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere near the bottom of the cliff) - &quot;There aren't enough footholds and you don't have any carabeaners on you.&quot;<br /> ***(at the top of the cliff) - &quot;They don't show how the sports-drink people get down from the cliff. You've no idea how to start.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fence&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;No, you have business to attend to here in Peasantry.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;More like you should walk through that gaping hole in it. Just an idea.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Not going to dignify that with a response.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in bucket&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Your butt is too big.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;No go. Your insurance doesn't cover that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but at the wavy tree or hidden glen) - &quot;But then your hands would get all sappy.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Naw, you'd probably figure out some way to kill yourself doing that.&quot;<br /> ***(at the wavy tree) - &quot;You don't climb wavy trees.&quot;<br /> ***(after getting a room in the inn) - &quot;Naw. That's dumb. Do better.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;close _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Already done. That was easy!&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - &quot;You can't. That baby really wrenched it open good.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;'''<br /> ***(without stealing the robe) - &quot;Right, right. Wouldn't want to leave the robes out where any old guy trying to beat an adventure game could take them.&quot;<br /> ***(when it's closed) - &quot;A riddle: What can be closed that is already closed? (hint: not this drawer)&quot;<br /> ***(after getting the robe) - &quot;Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;cut off arms, legs, and head&quot;''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Very funny. You have trouble cutting out coupons in the weekly 'Peasant Penny-Pincher' circular. I'd like to see you try.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===D===<br /> *'''&quot;[[dan]]&quot;''' (or any phrase involving Dan; anywhere): &quot;Dan's still okay. Got a place on Dekalb with Rick and his wife. Slimmed up a bit and looking towards the future.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;dance&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You'd rather just stand here and soak up the scene.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;die&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;That wasn't very smart. You dead.&quot; '''Warning:''' This kills you.<br /> *'''&quot;drink&quot;''' (or any object after &quot;drink&quot;; anywhere) - &quot;For simplicity's sake you are immune to hunger and thirst in this game. So you got that going for you./Which is nice.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;drop baby&quot;'''<br /> **(once you have baby) - &quot;Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm.&quot; '''or''' &quot;Quit tryin to ditch the baby!&quot;<br /> **(before you have baby) - &quot;You don't even have two babies to rub together.&quot;<br /> **(at the well) - &quot;Like where?&quot;<br /> <br /> ===E===<br /> <br /> ===F===<br /> *'''&quot;feed horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen before scaring him) - &quot;There's a good chance that horse has NEVER eaten. I doubt he'll start now.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===G===<br /> *'''&quot;get a room&quot;''' (when on fire) - \oard&lt;!-- Yes, it's really a backslash, not a B. That's why &quot;[sic]&quot; is there. --&gt; [sic] of Peasant Health says I can't serve any folk that's on fire. Nothing personal. Well, I mean, I don't like you much anyway.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;get/take/steal _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;(anything not listed and not relevant to the plot)&quot;''' - &quot;You probably WISH you could get that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;arrow&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the archery range) - &quot;They have 'RANGE' printed on them, so it would be kind of embarrassing to have to shoot around with them. Also, that guy over there is giving you the evil eye.&quot;<br /> ***(at the secret glen while Dongolev is there) - &quot;Something tells me now's not a good time.&quot; (you get the arrow anyway and Dongolev shoots you) &quot;It wasn't a good time. Hey, my mom's making peasant-kabobs for dinner TOO! Right. Anyway. You dead. Thanks for playing, and try not to die.&quot; '''Warning:''' As you can see, this kills you.<br /> ***(at the secret glen after getting the first arrow OR at the secret glen after getting the second arrow after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;You're pretty much all set on the arrow front. They're kinda cool, though.&quot;<br /> ***(at the secret glen after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;You grab yet another arrow from the tree hoping to get some bonus points.&quot;<br /> ***(at Kerrek's body after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;Eww! No way. That thing's got some serious Kerrek-Brand kooties on it now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage, while she has the baby) - &quot;'You want to be a part of this family? GO GET US THOSE RICHES!!' she shrieks.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bell&quot;''' (in the inn, after getting a room) - &quot;You can't. It looks like it's been somehow olded&lt;!-- sic --&gt; to the desk.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (after getting it) - &quot;You totally got the belt already, as evidenced by the rancid cloud of odor that follows you like a shadow.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;berries&quot;'''<br /> ***(the same bush twice outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You already searched that bush. It was okay. Nothing to write home about... oh, wait... you don't have a home. My b.&quot;<br /> ***(after you've gotten the trinket, outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You've searched your fill of berry bushes for this game. If you want to search more press 'reload' on the browser&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake) - &quot;NO MAN! JEEZ!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bone/skull&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff) - Eww. No. Grody. You're grody. No. Eww.<br /> **'''&quot;broom&quot;''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;No, no. The broom is in the foreground and you can't take things from the foreground. You don't see me all typing 'get browser window', do you?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bucket&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;You can't, it's tied to a rope and you're terrible with knots.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;candle&quot;''' (at night, in the inn) - It seems like you should be able to do that, doesn't it? Sorry. No dice.<br /> **'''&quot;chair&quot;''' <br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is there) - &quot;No. There's a big bag of something in it. Oh, that's the baby lady.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is gone) - &quot;No. Too big for pants.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;club&quot;''' (outside the Jhonka's cottage when he's out) - &quot;Now there's a surefire way to get yourself killed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;You get a hernia from lifting it. -2 Movement points, -10 Constitution. Don't do that again.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage after stealing feed) - &quot;You don't need anymore. It might give rise to old temptations.<br /> **'''&quot;fire&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, before getting the horse grease) - &quot;You're just not flammable enough.&quot;<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting the horse grease) - &quot;You don't need to get IT. Just let IT get YOU.&quot;<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting on fire) - &quot;You're already on fire! What? You want to be MORE on fire?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;You nasty. Besides, they wouldn't survive a minute away from that horse's butt.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;gold/money&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Um, that's chicken feed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;grease&quot;''' (inside the inn, at night, when you already got the grease) - &quot;You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.<br /> **'''&quot;hay&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;Who do you think you are? Some kind of Thy Dungeonman? You don't need any hay.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;There's a huge bale a couple of screens over from here. Why bother stealing?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain whether or not he's still alive) - &quot;Well, he does smell real bad. But he's a bit too big to fit in your pocket.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lantern&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;Better not. There's an engraved plaque on it that says, &quot;Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of 'You Die'.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;mud&quot;'''<br /> ***(when it's wet, before you fall in) - &quot;You can't get the mud so much. More like the mud'll get you.&quot;<br /> ***(when it's wet, after you fall in) - &quot;You've already gotten an heapin' helpin' all up on yo'self.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;map&quot;''' (at your cottage, after you've gotten it) - &quot;Yeah but like you already map the took, guy!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;note&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Jhonka's cave) - &quot;It's been magically sealed to the door with a wondrously whimsical spell.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;What is it with you and notes?! No!!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;old man rub&quot;''' (in the inn) - You disgust me.<br /> **'''&quot;paper&quot;''' (in the inn) - Naw, it might be important to that wrinkly old loon.<br /> **'''&quot;painting&quot;''' (in the inn) - Weird. It's actually painted right into the wall. Like, the frame and everything.<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles&quot;'''<br /> ***(after you've gotten them) - &quot;Come now. We've been through this jaunty little bit before. You took them from the half lake screen with the cattail and stuff.&quot;<br /> ***(from the opposite side of where you get the pebbles) &quot;You do your best Mr. Fantastic impression, but you can't reach them from here.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;plague&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - Wrong game, Mispeller Jones. Try the little button to the left of the 'W'.<br /> **'''&quot;plaque&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - You have enough of that on your browning, rotten peasant teeth already.<br /> **'''&quot;pillow&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;Not a chance. There's even more questionable stains on that pillow than there are on that rug.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You don't have anywhere to use it and it is rather bulky, so you leave it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pot&quot;''' (in the inn, after you already have horse grease) - You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.<br /> **'''&quot;robe&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, after you've gotten it) - You still remember the time when you took them. Oh, the times have changed ... but the robes?<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, when the drawer is closed) - You reach into the closed drawer and nearly break your hand slamming it. Just like a bird on a pane of glass minus the blamelessness.<br /> **'''&quot;rock&quot;'''<br /> ***(by the stream) - &quot;For what? Now you're just making up puzzles to solve.&quot;<br /> ***(at the mud puddle) - &quot;That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me.&quot;<br /> ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage, after moving it) - &quot;You've already moved the stone out of the way to reveal a less-than-peasant-sized hole.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rug&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;You're not touching that thing. Too many questionable stains on it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;stuff/food&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Which foodstuffs?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;target&quot;''' (at the archery range) - &quot;No. Those will fall on you and more than likely kill you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;give _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;(anything not listed)&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;We don't need that mess.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere except for the woman's cottage) - &quot;You don't need to give that now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn, before you get the baby) - &quot;You have no baby nor any immediate prospects.&quot;<br /> ***(in the inn, when you already have the pills) - &quot;You already milked that fogey for all the pills he's worth.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;riches&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, before getting the riches) - &quot;'That's right,' she whines. 'Find my riches, and give here.'&quot;<br /> ***(outside Jhonka's cave, before jumping in hay) - &quot;The Jhonka will see you! And rip out your jugular with his teeth or something equally horrible.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, after giving the riches) - &quot;We did that already, and it was sort of humiliating.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trinket&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot; 'Did you find that thing in my yard?' she asks. 'I got that thing free in a box of Plaguezees. I need some FOR REAL riches!' &quot;<br /> ***(inside woman's cottage after giving trinket to Mendelev) &quot; 'Why are you holding your hand out?' she asks. 'I told you I need riches, so I can't give em away.' You don't have a trinket to give, you realize.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;go _____&quot;''' (anything or letter can be put in here) - &quot;Use the arrow keys, pal. Just like a joypad only more like your day job.<br /> <br /> ===H===<br /> *'''&quot;haldo&quot;'''<br /> **(anywhere but in the secret glade, before or after talking to Mendelev) - &quot;That's totally not Dongolev.&quot;<br /> **(in the secret glade before talking to Mendelev) - &quot;What'd you read that in PQ Stragedy [sic] Guide? Go talk to my brother first.&quot;<br /> **(in the secret glade after Dongolev leaves) - &quot;Haldo?.' you call out... 'Hadloooooo' [sic] &quot;<br /> **(at the archery Range after Dongolev has returned) - &quot;HALDO!!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;hide in hay&quot;''' (at the hay bale, before getting in) - &quot;Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;hug tree&quot;''' (at the hay bale) - &quot;To every thing, turn, turn, turn. There is a season, turn, turn, turn.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===I===<br /> <br /> ===J===<br /> *'''&quot;jump in hay&quot;''' (by the hay bale, when you're not muddy) - &quot;Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;jump in hay&quot;''' (near the hay bale, when you're muddy but not right next to it) - &quot;Who do you think you are, MJ? Try from a little closer.&quot;<br /> ===K===<br /> *'''&quot;kick/kill/punch poor gary&quot;'''<br /> **(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;You attempt to cause Poor Gary harm for no good reason other than you kinda suck at this game. {Poor Gary kicks you} WOW! For a decrepit old horse, Poor Gary still packs a mean whallop. You dead. Thanks for playing.&quot; '''Warning:''' Needless to say, this kills you.<br /> **(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;kill _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Those flies and that horse's butt have a symbiotic relationship. You have no right to disrupt that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (after he's outside) - &quot;No way! Jhonka's are born scrappers. He may be little, but he'll crawl ya.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is present and you do not have the bow and arrow) - &quot;With what?! You got no weapons except your butter-knife wit.&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the arrow, but not the bow) - &quot;With what?! You gonna throw that arrow at him?&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the bow, but not the arrow) - &quot;With what?! You got no arrow, fool!&quot;<br /> ***(after the Kerrek is dead) - &quot;Yeah. You smote the Kerrek. You deserve a trophy full of Mutton-ums.&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is not there) - &quot;Good idea. But you kinda need the actual Kerrek to be here for that to work.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;''' (while Trogdor's asleep, in his lair) - &quot;Like how?&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;knock&quot;'''<br /> **(at the woman's cottage) - &quot; 'It's open,' says a female voice from inside. Um, it's NOT open, but you get her drift.&quot;<br /> **(at the woman's cottage, after she leaves) - No one answers. That crazy lady took off. How ever will you get past this closed door now?<br /> **(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - &quot;A gravelly voice inside yells, 'JUST US CHICKENS' '''or:''' 'NO FOR RENT' '''or:''' 'I GIVE LAST YEAR!' '''or:''' 'GAVE AT OFFICE' '''or:''' 'GO WAY!'&quot;<br /> **(at the inn, while it's closed) - &quot;No answer.&quot;<br /> **(at the inn, after it's been opened) - &quot;Just open it, man!&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;You could knock until your knuckles bleed. Nobody's home.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;Knock until knuckles bleed&quot;'''<br /> **(at Naked Ned's cottage)-&quot;You knock for about 4 hours until your knuckles are raw and bloody. That was fun!&quot;<br /> **(type it again at Naked Ned's cottage)-&quot;You done that already. A great time was had by all.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===L===<br /> *'''&quot;light lantern&quot;'''<br /> **(at the burninated trees before it is lit) - &quot;With what? Your red-hot intellect?&quot;<br /> **(at the burninated trees after it is lit) - &quot;Already lit, moron.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;load&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;look _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''(at anything, while hiding inside the bale of hay)''' - &quot;Right now, you see a bunch of hay.&quot;<br /> **'''(at something previously in your inventory but now gone)''' - &quot;You used to have one, before the great item blight of 402. Check your INVENTORY to read about it.&quot; <br /> **'''(at something currently in your inventory)''' - &quot;You've totally got one of those! Check your INVENTORY to give'r a serious looksee.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;arrow&quot;''' (at the hidden glen) - &quot;Somebody call a tree doctor. Them puppies are stuck in there like a, um, er ... stuck pig.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage while she has the baby) - &quot;Peasant babies are pretty freaking adorable. This little guy's no exception.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bed&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Is that just a fitted sheet over a slab of concrete?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bell&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Tis broked.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;Yecch. I wouldn't touch that unless it was, like, an important quest item or something.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;berries&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake) &quot;Shut up.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Crunch berries maybe.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;boat/dinghy&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot;Keep your eyes off my dinghy!&quot; <br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake after he is gone) - &quot;It was loaned out to the [[Fishing Challenge '91|Fishing Challenge videogame]].&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bone/skeleton/skull&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff for the bone and skull and in Trogdor's outer sanctum for the skeleton) - &quot;You can't be sure but you think those are dead person bones.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bush&quot;''' (at the west side of the lake) - &quot;Don't worry about that bush. Yeah, there's red berries on it but never you mind.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bushes&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You suspect they might be crunch berry bushes.&quot;<br /> ***(in the hidden glen) - &quot;There's some thick 'ol bushes up in this hidden glen.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;candle&quot;''' (in the inn after getting a room) - &quot;That candle's not at all on fire.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;cave&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the Jhonka's cave) - &quot;Just a little cave. Calm down.&quot;<br /> ***(at the top of the cliff) - &quot;The cave entrance beckons to you like a hot mutton sandwich might.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;chair&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;One of those self-rocking kind. Not bad for a brown-collar peasant-type. Must be trickle-down in action.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;club/turkey leg&quot;''' (at the Jhonka's cave when he's outside) - &quot;Turkey leg or no, it looks like the Jhonka's been gnawing on it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;cottage&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the yellow tree) - &quot;You see a cottage in the distance. You hold your fingers up to one eye and pretend to squash it.&quot;<br /> ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;A run-of-the-mill, non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You had a cottage once. A lot like this one. *sniff* Trogdor will pay!&quot;<br /> ***(at your burninated cottage) - &quot;All your baubles and trinkets, your flasks and scrolls, your goblets and staffs! BURNINATED!!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;crank&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the well before putting pebbles in the bucket) - &quot;It looks rusted in place.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well after putting pebbles in the bucket) - &quot;That is a bonafide crank. It seems to work now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;curtain/beads&quot;''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;That thing's awesome. You always wanted one for your dorm room but your roommate was a total drag and said no.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;desk&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the archery range) - &quot;It says 'archery' on it. My wife's drunk.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn) - &quot;There's a broken bell and a piece of parchment on there.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;Just a door. A door with a note on it.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;A wicked beaded curtain hangs in the doorway.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Listen to you, &quot;look door&quot; What kinda gaming is that? It's a door and it's closed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Cool Ranch. Your old favorite.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fence&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;A particularly rickety peasant-issue fence. Trogdor uses bits of these as toothpicks.&quot;<br /> ***(by haystack/Jhonka's cottage/Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;A standard peasant fence. Trogdor makes milk's meat outta these things.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Wow! There's a hole in it on THIS side too!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;A cloud of buttflies fly around the horse's butt.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;footprints/tracks&quot;''' (when the Kerrek is present) - &quot;It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;footprints/tracks&quot;''' (when the Kerrek is not present) - &quot;If you weren't a simpleton you might think these were Kerrek prints. But since you are a simpleton, you just go, 'Yay! Piggies!' &quot;<br /> **'''&quot;ground&quot;''' - &quot;Hey, it's your old fireproof map of Peasantry.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;hay&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;It reminds you of a warm, safe place where as a child you'd hide.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Hay is for horses!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;This bag o' bones looks like he's headed for the glue factory. He's got the name 'Poor Gary' branded onto his hide.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in hay&quot;''' (at the hay bale) - &quot;You search and search through the haystack. Nope. No needles.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;It's dark and welly in there. Smell like stank too.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;inn&quot;''' (outside the inn) - &quot;Looks okay from out here. But do they have a free breakfast buffet?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (at the Jhonka's cottage when he's outside) - &quot;The Jhonka is gray and grody. He's got a cromagnon forehead and jaw with a pair of wicked incisors. He sports an old loin-cheese cloth and carries either a big club or one of those roasted turkey legs you got at the Ren Fest.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - &quot;It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!&quot;<br /> ***(while he's decomposing) - &quot;He dead. You didn't think he could have smelled any worse? Well, guess what: He smells worse.&quot;<br /> ***(when he's all bones) - &quot;He dead. He wasn't fat, he was just big boned! Poor pig-man.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;knight/man/dude/guy&quot;''' (at the mountain pass) - &quot;He looks way cooler than you.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lady/woman&quot;''' <br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she's still there) - &quot;Typical pasty peasant woman, overbearing and judgemental&lt;!-- sic --&gt;. Obsessed with goods and land.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, after she's gone) - &quot;I can't believe you thought you had a chance with her!/Dork!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lake&quot;''' (at the fisherman's lake) - &quot;Why it's half a lake.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;lake/water&quot;''' (at the lake with pebbles) - &quot;It extends onto the next screen and has a sandy shore.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;lantern&quot;'''<br /> ***(while unlit; at the burninated trees) - &quot;It's unlit at the moment. That fancy pants royal knight probably lights it on nights when Troggie's on the prowl.&quot;<br /> ***(while lit; at the burninated trees) - &quot;It's lit! Musta been a Trogdor sighting tonight.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lightning&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff) - &quot;Scary. Like Auntie Gerelda's crow's feet.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;man&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;He's an older peasant with big cotton swabs stuffed up his nose. Oh wait. Those are nose hairs. Grody.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;man/guy/peasant/old guy/old man&quot;''' (at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot;An older peasant sits silently in a boat with his line in the water.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;ned&quot;''' (at the wavy tree, when Naked Ned is peeking out) - &quot;A fairly naked man is peeking out behind that tree.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;openings&quot;''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;They're mysterious and out of reach. Like girls were to you in high school.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;painting&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;It's a painting of dogs playing 'Magic: The Nerdening.'&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;paper&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;It says, 'Note to self: Wave arms wildly!'&quot;<br /> ***(at your burninated cottage) - &quot;Hey, it's your old fireproof map to Peasantry.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pillow&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;If you sleep in that bed, you're NOT putting your head on that nasty pillow.&quot;<br /> ***(in the woman's cottage) - &quot;Swedish foam. Your favorite.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pot&quot;''' (in the inn after getting a room) - &quot;It's full of horse grease. I guess that sounds useful.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rock&quot;'''<br /> ***(by the stream) - &quot;The ages have worn this rock down. It is a rock of ages. Still a-rollin.&quot;<br /> ***(at the mud patch) - &quot;That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage after removing it) - &quot;Some jerk removed a loose stone from the back of the cottage.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rug&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Maybe that used to be a magic carpet. But it's sure a cat pee-stained carpet now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;sand&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake) - &quot;One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty two... One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty three... Drat! You lost count again.&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the pebbles) - &quot;Remember those pebbles on the beach? Man, those were good times.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;shelf&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Nothing but a bag of chicken feed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;sign&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the mountain pass) - &quot;What that sign there? That sign says 'Trogdor.'&quot;<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;If you can't read that sign, you need to quit playing this game.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;stump&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated trees) - &quot;NOT a good place to sit.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;You run out of ideas as to what to do next, and stare at the stump.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;target&quot;''' (at the archery range) - &quot;Hey, they had those same targets at Peasant Scout Camp!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated trees) - &quot;Severely burninated. They could probably use some salve.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown!&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Dude, and then the elf, like, totally climbed up it. It was awesome!&quot;<br /> ***(at the wavy tree) - &quot;It's weird and wavy.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well) - &quot;That's one orange tree alright.&quot;<br /> ***(at the yellow tree) - &quot;You're really hurtin' for puzzle solutions, huh?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trees&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You are an incredibly boring person.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Trogdor's lair, while he's asleep) - &quot;Holy crap! Trogdor's way bigger in person than he looks in most tapestries you've seen. All of the sudden, losing your cottage doesn't seem so bad anymore.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's lair, when he's awake) - &quot;Trogdor is looming menacingly over you with a tiny wee sword stuck in his belly. He looks like he's gonna kill you really soon.&quot;<br /> ***(at mountain pass) - I know it's labeled 'Trogdor,' but it's really just a sign, silly. I mean, attack it if you want...<br /> **'''&quot;water&quot;''' (by the stream) - Got a rock in it.<br /> **'''&quot;waterfall&quot;''' (at the waterfall) - &quot;Upon closer inspection, you discover it's not magical. That's just mist, not magic sparkles or anything.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Pretty average. You're not a big well person. You're more into bridges. It does have a cute little bucket though. Your dad liked buckets. Oh, and there's a metal crank too. Meemaw loved cranks.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;window&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;Check it out! There's an INN in there.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn) - &quot;Check it out! There's a Peasantry out there!&quot;<br /> <br /> ===M===<br /> *'''&quot;make friends with kerrek&quot;''' - &quot;Look, it didn't work for Strongbad [sic] and it's not gonna work for you either.&quot; (As seen in [[for kids]])<br /> *'''&quot;map&quot;''' (before you find the map; anywhere) - &quot;We are neither confirming nor denying the presence of a map in this game, but irridisregardless, you don't have one.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===N===<br /> <br /> ===O===<br /> *'''&quot;open _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - &quot;It's locked. With one o' them SCHLAGE deadbolts, too. Those things are hard core.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;How? There's no knob.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - &quot;It's already open. Since this is an adventure game we're gonna proffer you adventure yourself on in there.&quot;<br /> ***(at the inn, while it's closed) - &quot;It's locked fast!&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn, before getting a room) - &quot;'That's the pantry,' says the Innkeeper. 'Employees only.'&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage when it's open) - &quot;Yeah, totally! Except it's already open you moron.&quot;<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage after getting the robe and closing the drawer) - &quot;You already closed it, which was nice, and so we gave you some points. Let sleeping drawers lie.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===P===<br /> *'''&quot;party&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You are part of the Whig party. They are making gangrene-awareness their number one campaign priority.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;pet horse/poor gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Aww, that's sweet. Poor Gary tries in vain to bite your arm off.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;[[pwd]]&quot;''' - Prints on-screen your location as a (fake) directory.<br /> *'''&quot;put _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Where you wanna toss em?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby in well/bucket&quot;''' (at the well, before getting the baby) - &quot;Hmmmm... A baby, eh? You check your sundial. Babies-R-Us is probably closed by now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby in well&quot;'''<br /> ***(after getting the sub) - &quot;Li'l tyke seems to enjoy the ride, but - thin or not - we've got a plot to advance here.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well with the baby) - &quot;Jeez man! At least put the poor little guy in the bucket! Give him a fighting chance!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles&quot;''' - &quot;Where you wanna toss em?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles in bucket&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the well, when you don't have them) - &quot;Find some pebbles first and you might have the makings of a good idea. About time.&quot;<br /> ***(after getting the maskus) - &quot;We've already been through this exercise and it went pretty well, ya?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles in well&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the well, when you have them) - &quot;Then it'd be tough to get them back. You never go ANYWHERE without your rocks&quot;<br /> ***(at the well, when you don't have them) - &quot;Riiight, right. Which ones?&quot;<br /> <br /> ===Q===<br /> *'''&quot;quit&quot;''' - &quot;Well fine Boring Sanders! Hope you saved your game cause it is OVER between us!&quot; '''Warning:''' The game still quits.<br /> <br /> ===R===<br /> *'''&quot;ride horse/poor gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Naw, snapping horse spines just doesn't seem as cool as it did in high school.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;ring bell&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Instead of ringing or dinging, it just goes DUNG.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===S===<br /> *'''&quot;save&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;scare horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before getting the mask) - &quot;You tell Gary the &quot;THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!&quot; one but he doesn't act very scared. He's probably heard it before.&quot; '''or:''' &quot;You tell Gary about how much cholesterol is in hay and how his arteries are probably all black and clogged. He shrugs it off.&quot; '''or:''' &quot;You tell Gary the story about the kid who pops this big zit he has and all these baby spiders come out. It doesn't phase him.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;sit on stump&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Are you THAT bored?! Do some questing already!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;skip stones&quot;''' (at the west side of the lake) - &quot;You've always been terrible at skipping stones. And you're even worse at just plain throwing rocks in lakes. You decide to save yourself the embarrassment.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;sleep&quot;'''<br /> **(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;That's probably how the first baby got here. Forget it.&quot;<br /> **(in the inn while the man is there) - &quot;You probably want to talk to that stinky old guy over there about that.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;smell/sniff&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Smells like a computer game.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;swim&quot;'''<br /> **(at the rock in the river) - &quot;Peasants can't swim. Like, it's illegal.&quot;<br /> **(at the waterfall) - &quot;That waterfall would probably churn you into one of those weight-gain protein smoothies.&quot;<br /> **(at the west side of the lake) - &quot;Not in this game, Swimmer [[Dan]]! In this game, you drown.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===T===<br /> *'''&quot;talk&quot;'''<br /> **(at the archery range, while away from or behind the desk) - &quot;Why don't you saddle up to the front of the table there, cowboy?&quot;<br /> **(at the archery range, after beating the minigame) - &quot;Go away!&quot; says Dongolev. &quot;We're arguing about who's hotter,&quot; adds Mendelev.<br /> **(at wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- &quot;You startled him and he disappears!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;talk ____&quot;'''<br /> **'''(someone not in the screen, inanimate, or nonexistent; anywhere)''' - &quot;It's sad when you have to make up people to talk to.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage, before you get the baby) - &quot;You say some cute, stupid stuff and the baby just blows snot bubbles.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen when he's there) - &quot;Your attempts at conversation are met with horse grunts and tail flaps. Which is better than you do at conversation with most people.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (while inside the hay) - &quot;Not now! You'll blow your cover!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - &quot;Me llamo Julio,' you begin... It seems only to further anger the already temperamental Kerrek. That stupid 'Learn Kerrek in 3 Weeks' cassette did nothing for you!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lady&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage after she's gone) - &quot;You'd call out her name and let it ring through the empty room, enveloping you in sorrow, but you don't actually know her name.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;Naked Ned&quot;''' (at the wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- &quot;'Never speak of this meeting!' says the nudie and he disapperars.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;''' (at the wavy tree) - &quot;Trees can't talk but a breeze picks up and you swear the leaves whisper the words 'Naked Ned.' Weird.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;''' (in Trogdor's lair while he's asleep) - &quot;You yell some choice expletives at Trogdor but he doesn't wake up. There's a cool echo, though.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;well&quot;''' (At the well) &quot;You yell into the well and enjoy the echo. Keep in mind there are no stereos yet.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;this sucks&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;throw _____&quot;'''<br /> **(anything but the feed; at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot; 'That isn't gonna work for bait!' the old man screams, at a needlessly harsh volume.&quot;<br /> **(anything; when the fisherman is gone) - &quot;You already fed the fish. Let's get moving, here, people!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but the west side of the lake) - &quot;Hmmm. Maybe try someplace else.<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake before getting the baby) - &quot;I think you misread the walkthrough on GameFAQs. You gotta get the baby first.&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the soda) - &quot;Baby Dashing is a little waterlogged from the toss, and you read his soft gurgling to mean that there's no more soda left.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere without the baby) - &quot;You don't even have two babies to rub together.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the east side of the lake before getting the feed) - &quot;You have nothing with which to do that...with.&quot;<br /> ***(at the east side of the lake after throwing the feed) - &quot;You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!&quot; (The repetition is probably just a goof.)<br /> *'''&quot;try&quot;''' - (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Okay, fine. You try to cut off your hard-earned extremities. It doesn't work. You dead. Thanks for nothing.&quot; '''Warning:''' You die.<br /> *'''&quot;turn crank&quot;'''<br /> **(at the well, on the other side of the screen) - &quot;You got a short reach to match your short pants. Try standing closer to that crank.&quot;<br /> **(at well, after you get the maskus) - {first time} &quot;Down she goes! You could do this all day!&quot; {second time} &quot;The drama grips you, but the bucket is empty. On the bright side, you're getting a pretty sweet workout for your Deltoidus Rex muscles.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===U===<br /> *'''&quot;use/deploy baby&quot;'''<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, before getting the baby) - &quot;Swell idea, but is you ain't my baby? I.e. you ain't got one?&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, before moving the stone) - &quot;Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm.&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, after the baby has left) - &quot;Li'l P.B. has moved on, and the door seems to be open...I can't see why we'd go through this all over again.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;use pebbles&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;What do you propose to do with them? Discuss.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===V===<br /> <br /> ===W===<br /> *'''&quot;wake up trogdor&quot;''' - &quot;Troggie...&quot;, you murmur. &quot;Troggie, wake up it's time for Burnination school.&quot; He's not budging.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;wear _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (after getting the belt) - &quot;You're already wearing it. Too bad you smell like the trash barge off Peasant Isle.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;mask&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Not on this screen. You've got your image to think about. Actually, you might want to start deliberating on that right now.&quot;<br /> ***(in Poor Gary's glen after scaring him) - &quot;Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;robe&quot;'''<br /> ***(if the robe is not in your inventory) - &quot;You don't have anything but your 'Scalding Lake' t-shirt. And pants. Forgot to mention the pants.&quot;<br /> ***(if you are already wearing the robe) - &quot;You're already in the old skool robe. Represent.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;what the f&amp;mdash;&quot;''' ''([[Swears|uncensored version]])''&lt;!--actually &quot;what the fuck&quot;--&gt; (anywhere) - &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;where&quot;''' (anywhere) - Tells you where you are.<br /> *'''&quot;why&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;I wish I knew.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===X===<br /> <br /> ===Y===<br /> *&quot;'''Yes'''&quot; (to the Jhonka when he asks you about his riches)- &quot;'I KILL YOU!!' screams the Jhonka. ''{The Jhonka clubs you to death}'' Club or turkey leg, the jhonka sure just beat you senseless with whatever he was holding. You dead. Thanks for playing!&quot; '''Warning:''' Obviously, you will die.<br /> <br /> ===Z===<br /> <br /> ===Action Based===<br /> '''Warning:''' All of the below will kill you.<br /> <br /> *'''(Walk too close to the Kerrek)''' - ''{The Kerrek pounds your head into the ground}'' Your mom always told you not to take head poundings from strange Kerreks. And NOW looks what's happened. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Walk in the path of Dongelev's arrows)''' - ''{Dongolev shoots you in the head}'' That guy has no sense. He shot you. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Nice one, William Tell. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Leave the screen after putting the baby in the bucket)''' - Nice try. Ditch the baby at the bottom of the well, eh? Thought you'd be able to just walk away and it's nothing by mead and wenches from now on, huh? Well guess what? You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Hit by rock or pterodactyl when climbing the cliff)''' - ''{You fall to the ground and lie in a heap}'' Oops! You climbed real bad. You knew that you were AVOIDING the rocks, right? Not collecting them. Anyways, nice try. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Walk too close to Trogdor while he's asleep)''' - ''{Trogdor burninates you without waking up}'' Yow. Looks like you got a little too close. You dead. Maybe next time don't get too close.<br /> <br /> {{Peasant's Quest}}<br /> [[Category:Peasant's Quest]] [[Category:Lists]]</div> Mon, 18 Jun 2007 18:09:10 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Talk:Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses <p>GWR 2004:&#32;/* L */ Huh.</p> <hr /> <div>[[Image:PQ_look_footprints.png|thumb|300px|&gt; LOOK FOOTPRINTS]]<br /> The [[Peasant's Quest]] game relies on text commands to complete objectives in the game. While there are programmed responses to all of the necessary actions in the game's storyline, the game contains many responses to unproductive commands as well.<br /> <br /> {| border=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;toc&quot;<br /> ! align=&quot;center&quot; | {{int:toc}}<br /> |-<br /> | align=&quot;left&quot; |<br /> *[[#Walkthrough Messages|1 Walkthrough Messages]]<br /> *[[#The Three Keepers' Messages|2 The Three Keepers' Messages]]<br /> **[[#The First Keeper|2.1 The First Keeper]]<br /> **[[#The Second Keeper|2.2 The Second Keeper]]<br /> **[[#The Third Keeper|2.3 The Third Keeper]]<br /> *[[#Area Descriptions|3 Area Descriptions]]<br /> *[[#Other Productive Responses|4 Other Productive Responses]]<br /> **[[#Constructive Conversations|4.1 Constructive Conversations]]<br /> **[[#Useful Documents|4.2 Useful Documents]]<br /> **[[#Helpful Hints|4.3 Helpful Hints]]<br /> *[[#Unproductive Responses|5 Unproductive Responses]]<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==Walkthrough Messages==<br /> {{spoiler}}<br /> The following are the messages displayed while completing the minimal number of tasks to achieve a perfect score. Note that different messages may be displayed for a game completed differently (e.g. if the Three Keepers' questions are answered), and that there are [[#Unproductive Responses|many other messages]] that may be displayed in response to inputs that are not constructive and/or not essential to completion of the game.<br /> <br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Points !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || YOU are Rather Dashing, a humble peasant living in the peasant kingdom of Peasantry.&lt;br&gt;You return home from a vacation on Scalding Lake only to find that TROGDOR THE BURNINATOR has burninated your thatched roof cottage along with all your goods and services.&lt;br&gt;With nothing left to lose, you swear to get revenge on the Wingaling Dragon in the name of burninated peasants everywhere. || 3B<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || You head east towards the mountain atop which TROGDOR lives. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || That's a nice looking lake. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || You can start playing in a second here. || 2D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || Okay, go for it. || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || get pebbles || You grab up a handful of fairly substantial pebbles. You make sure to get an even mix of sedentary, igneous, and, um, sureptitious rocks. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || put rocks in bucket || You plunk all your pebbles into the bucket. The weight causes it to descend to the bottom of the well with a quickness! || 1D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || turn crank || &quot;The crank seems to have loosened and you haul the bucket back up. What's this? Why there's a monster maskus in there! No doubt leftover from some pagan ritual. Silly pagans.&lt;br&gt;You grab up the scary moster maskus. Man, this thing could scare a horse! || 1D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || talk man || &quot;Oh, hi. I'm Mendelev,&quot; says the archer. &quot;I used to run a shooting range here with my brother Dongolev. But we don't talk so much anymore. I haven't seen him in a Jhonka's age. If you ever run into him, telll him I said 'haldo'.&lt;br&gt;&quot;You mean 'hello,'&quot; you ask?&lt;br&gt;&quot;Oh, um. No. Shut up. I said 'haldo' and I meant 'haldo.' Tell him I said 'haldo.'&quot;<br /> || 2D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || wear mask || You slip on the hideous monster maskus.&lt;br&gt;You scared the crap outta Poor Gary! He broke on through to the other side! || 1A<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || haldo || the archer stops arching and turns to you. &quot;My brother told you to tell me haldo? He must want to start the old business back up!&quot; || Hidden glen<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || get arrow || You pick out a really good one and yank it from the tree. Hooray! Now you have an arrow! || Hidden glen<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || get chicken feed || You used to eat this stuff like crazy when you were a kid and your parents weren't watching (which was all too often). You grab several large handfuls. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || the baby lady calls after you, &quot;Hey, you're on some quest right? Well, the little squirt here lost something of mine in the yard the other day. It's yours if you can find it.&quot; || Baby lady cottage<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (first bush) || You reach into the bush to snag some berries but they all just squish in your hand. || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (second bush) || Man, nothing in this bush but squished berries either. || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (third bush) || Too bad you don't want any squished berries, cuz hey: jackpot! || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 2 || get berries (fourth bush) || You reach into the bush to snag you some berries but instead find a Super Trinket! These things are awesome! You have a sneaking suspicion that SOMEONE in this game will need this thing. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || throw chicken feed || You toss the feed into the lake. You shed a tear for each one. &quot;Goodbye, Monty&quot; you sniff. &quot;Bye Delga, Rasputin. Farewell, Combledon!&quot; and so forth.&lt;br&gt;Woah! That crotchety old man just caught a pantload of fish! &quot;Now I can get back to running the inn,&quot; he says and rows to shore and hauls his boat out and cleans, guts, and filets all the fish and a buncha other stuff we didn't animate. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || give super trinket || &quot;That'll work,&quot; says Mendelev. Just hit 3 bullseyes and you win the SuperTime FunBow TM!&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;The ARROW KEYS aim left and right and the SPACE BAR operates the bow. You'll need to press it a couple of times to get a nice shot off but we don't give lessons so you're on your own.&quot; || 2C<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (get [X]=3-5 bullseyes) || &quot;Nice shootin! [X] hits.&quot; Says Mendelev. &quot;Here's your prize!&quot; You got the SuperTime FunBow TM! We don't sell ammo, so you'll have to find your own arrows for it. || 2C<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || shoot Kerrek with bow || Here goes nothin', Kid Icarus&lt;br&gt;ARROWED!! Nice shot. You smote the Kerrek! He lay there stinking.&lt;br&gt;A light rain heralds the washing free of the Kerrek's grip on the land. You're feeling pretty good, though, so the artless symbolism doesn't bug you. || 1B or 4C<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || get belt || You strap the Kerrek's belt buckle around your waist. Oh boy. You sure stink now. || 1B or 4C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || (walk into mud puddle) || Now you've done it! You're covered in sticky, albeit fine smelling, mud. Your &quot;Scalding Lake&quot; T-shirt is all soiled, too. You just washed it last harvest! || 2B<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || jump into hay || You've not known much better than a roll in the hay alone.&lt;br&gt;You leap in the hay like a two years old boy. Uh oh. The hay sticks to your muddy body. You're a walking hay bale! Just like that one guy from that one show! || 2A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (walk to Jhonka's cave) || Hey, nice disguise! The Jhonka doesn't seem to notice you. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 7 || steal riches || Oh OH! A stiff breeze blew all the hay and, surprisingly, the mud off of you! &quot;You take my riches?!&quot; growls the Jhonka. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || No || &quot;Okay. Lemme know if you see riches anywhere,&quot; he grunts and goes back to his hopping. You smooth talker, you. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give riches || &quot;My riches!!&quot; she screams and snatches up every last gold coin. &quot;Thanks, sucker! Here you go!&quot; she shoves the baby into your hands and bolts out the door.&lt;br&gt;You later learn that she does this all the time and is wanted throughout the countryside. Those riches probably WERE the Jhonka's and who knows whose baby that is. Well, it's yours now. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || This place is dead anyway. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || throw baby || Something tells you this is a good idea and you lob the little one into the lake.&lt;br&gt;You won't be arrested after all! The little guy has resurfaced safely, carrying an old bottle of soda. You take the soda and stow your swaddling buddy for takeoff. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || put baby in bucket || Okay, Father of the Year. You put a baby in a bucket and it quickly descends deep into the well. Yours is a black, black heart. || 1C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || turn crank || You haul the bucket back up. Lucky for you, the baby is still in it and appears to be unscathed. As a bonus, it looks like he found a Meatball sub down there. Score! You take the sub.&lt;br&gt;Oh, and the baby. You take the baby. || 1C<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give baby || &quot;Well lookit that little guy!&quot; says the Innkeeper. &quot;You want a treat, do ya? What do babies like?&quot; He fishes around in his pockets.&lt;br&gt;&quot;Um, how bout my medication!&quot; You grab the bottle of pills before he can force them on the baby. &quot;Hey, those were for him!&quot; || inn<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || move rock || You slide the stone over to reveal a little hole. If only you could cut off your arms, legs, and head you might be able to squeeze through! || 4A<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || put baby into the hole || Deploying Q-Baby...&lt;br&gt;Way to go, baby! It got the cottage door opened and headed off to a new life. He becomes Valedictorian of his graduating class, goes to Scalding Lake State, gets a degree in Advanced Peasantry and lands a job at Thatch-Pro: building better cottages for a better tomorrow.&lt;br&gt;You grow apart and the letters from him become fewer and fewer. He develops a severe mead problem and blames you for never being there. || 4A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open drawer || There's a vintage peasant robe in there! Just like grampa used to wear. || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || get robe || Yeah! Get that robe! || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || close drawer || Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint. || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || wear robe || You slip into the vintage robe. It smells like grampa's lap. Now you're lookin like a serious peasant. || anywhere<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || get room || &quot;Okay, youngster,&quot; says the decrepit old person. &quot;Just bed on down for the night and I'm sure I'll remember to collect the fee come morning.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Night falls like a bad power point presentation.&lt;br&gt;What an uncomfortable bed! You sleep for maybe 20 minutes before the extreme pain in your spine forces you to get up.|| Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || get pot || You reach way up to the top shelf.&lt;br&gt;Oh great! Now you can't see a thing and your head is covered in highly flammable horse grease. You better get out of here before that disgusting old man comes back. || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (exiting inn with pot on head) || Phew! You discard the big black pot and wipe the horse grease from your eyes. The hood of your robe is still covered in highly flammable horse grease, though. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || (walking under candle in burninated trees) || Whoa! The horse grease on your robe caught fire! You're a for-real peasant now. || 4E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (exiting 4E) || Man, screens sure get light fast around here. || 1E, 3E, or 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 7 || talk knight || Lookin good, Mr. Peasant. Good luck with ol' Beefy Arm up there.&lt;br&gt;This is it! You can finally get revenge on Trogdor! Nice work so far, stupid!&lt;br&gt;Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter.&lt;br&gt;Disk read error. Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter. || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || climb || With a new determination you dig your fingers into the cliff face and begin to haul yourself up the mountain like you were in a sports drink commercial&lt;br&gt;The mountain starts rumbling and big loose boulders start tumblin down. You'd best avoid thems. || Cliff base<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (successfully climbing the cliff without dying) || Nice jorb climbing the cliff. You have a real way with those arrow keys. || Cliffland heights<br /> |-id=&quot;bribery_route&quot;<br /> | 0 || (approached by first keeper) || Foolish peasant! How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!&lt;br&gt;You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!&lt;br&gt;You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.&lt;br&gt;And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.&lt;br&gt;Unless you happen to have something to eat on ya. Then we could forego my question. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give sandwich || No way! I was just kidding but you've really got a meatball sub. This rules! Here, you can have the Trog-Shield. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (approached by second keeper) || Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!&lt;br&gt;Or we could call it even if I had an ice cold drink right now. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give soda || Sweet deal, peasant. I underestimated you. Wear this Trog-Helmet with style. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (approached by third keeper) || Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!&lt;br&gt;That is, unless you've got something for my lower back. Man, it's killin me! || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give pills || Whoa! Where'd you find this stuff? I don't think this is even legal anymore. These babies'll definitely smote LUMBAGO the, um, LOWER BACKINATOR!!&lt;br&gt;The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (enter Trogdor's cave) || the beaded curtain slams shut behind you. There's no turning back now. || Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 7 || throw sword || This is it! You hurl the Trog-Sword with all your might at the sleeping Burninator.&lt;br&gt;Now you've done it! Trogdor's awake and the Trog-Sword doesn't seem to be doing a whole lot.&lt;br&gt;Your legs lock in fear, your eyes glaze over and you wish for some Depeasant adult undergarments. But you think you hear Trogdor whimpering!&lt;br&gt;Aw crap, that's you whimpering. At least your voice still works, I guess.|| Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 10 || talk trogdor || You scream that your name is Rather Dashing and that Trogdor burninated your cottage and you're here for revenge!&lt;br&gt;&quot;Sup, mortal,&quot; booms Trogdor. &quot;I really appreciate you making the effort to come all the way up here and vanquish me and all. But, I'm kinda indestructible.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Yeah, I can't be killed. I'm surprised nobody mentioned that to you. I'll admit though, you've gotten farther than anybody else ever has. I bet they'll make a statue or something in honor of you somewheres.&lt;br&gt;&quot;I can honestly say it'll be a pleasure and an honor to burninate you, Rather Dashing.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Aw that sure was nice of him!&lt;br&gt;Congratulations! You've won! No one can kill Trogdor but you came closer than anybody ever! Way to go! || Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Peasant's Quest&lt;br&gt;Written by Matt, Jonathan, and Mike || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Programmed by Jonathan || 1E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Graphics by Mike and Matt || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Quality Assurance Types:&lt;br&gt;Neal Stamper,&lt;br&gt;Don Chapman, and John Radle&lt;br&gt;Nice work on winning and everything.&lt;br&gt;THE END || 3B<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==The Three Keepers' Messages==<br /> There are several messages that the game may return while [[Rather Dashing]] is answering questions of [[The Three Keepers of Trogdor]]. The simplest way to complete this part of the game is to bribe the Keepers; the messages returned in this case are listed [[Peasant's Quest Responses#bribery_route|above]]. If Rather Dashing has not acquired the three items necessary to bribe the Keepers, however, he must answer a question from each of them. The messages returned while answering their questions are listed here.<br /> <br /> ===The First Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!&lt;br&gt;You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!&lt;br&gt;You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.&lt;br&gt;And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> ''The First Keeper will ask you one of the following questions (the correct answer is '''highlighted'''):''<br /> :Okay here goes. What did you win from the Archery game?<br /> :A. SuperBow FunTime TM<br /> :'''B. SuperTime FunBow TM'''<br /> :C. SuperFun BowTime TM<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Okay here goes. What does Mendelev have you tell Dongolev?<br /> :'''A. Haldo'''<br /> :B. Hallo<br /> :C. Allo<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Okay here goes. What is the only creature the Jhonka fears?<br /> :A. Poor Gary<br /> :B. The Baby<br /> :'''C. The Kerrek'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;Ah crap! You're right. Here, take this stupid Trog-Shield!&quot;<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> &quot;Sorry peasant! You fail! And as punishment, you will be turned into...RON CUMBERDALE!!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> You ask who the crap Ron Cumberdale is.<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> &quot;Just this kid from 4th grade that I really hated. But he was a BIG LOSER and HE SMELLED!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Well, you not exactly dead. But there's no way you could defeat Trogdor as Ron Cumberdale. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.<br /> <br /> ===The Second Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> :Listen careful now. Which one of these letters is the letter C?<br /> :A. B<br /> :'''B. C'''<br /> :C. A<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Listen careful now. How many berry bushes are there in the whole kingdom of Peasantry?<br /> :A. 4<br /> :'''B. 5'''<br /> :C. 6<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Listen careful now. What was the Innkeeper's pantry full of?<br /> :A. Epsom Salts<br /> :B. Epson Printers<br /> :'''C. Old Man Rub'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;That's right. Oh. This sucks. Guess I have to give you this Trog-Helmet. Dang.&quot;<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> &quot;WRONG! You are hereby cursed to write corny folk songs for the rest of eternity! The kind that only OLD PEOPLE LIKE!!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Well, you not exactly dead. But you certainly can't face Trogdor after writing 'Wheat Grows Sweet, But My Gal's Sweeter'. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.<br /> <br /> ===The Third Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> :Riddle me this. To whom did the robe you're wearing originally belong?<br /> :A. Nobleman Nicholas<br /> :B. Nina Neverawesome<br /> :'''C. Naked Ned'''<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Riddle me this. What color are the leaves on the tree that grows by the well?<br /> :'''A. Orange'''<br /> :B. Green<br /> :C. Yellow<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Riddle me this. Which way does the river that runs through Peasantry flow?<br /> :A. West to East<br /> :B. Northwest to South<br /> :'''C. Northeast to Southwest'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;Uh oh. You got it right. Trogdor's gonna kill me. Okay, you can have the Trog-Sword. Just promise not to kill any Trogdor's with it, kay?&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> You just stare at the Keeper blankly.<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> &quot;Okay fine! You can have the dumb thing anyways. Trogdor's through the beaded curtain over there.&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant.<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> YES! I was hoping you'd get mine wrong. No Trog-Sword for you. In fact, no skin for you either!<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Wow. You sure dead. You had a good run, though. Thanks for playin.<br /> <br /> ''Note: if you fail to provide &quot;A&quot;, &quot;B&quot;, or &quot;C&quot; as an answer to any of the above questions, the Keeper will ask the question again, replacing the first sentence with the following one:'' Peasant fool! Choose A, B, or C!<br /> <br /> ==Area Descriptions==<br /> By typing &quot;look&quot; in an area, you can receive a description of the surrounding area. Sometimes descriptions change as events come to pass.<br /> <br /> *'''Hidden Glen:''' Well, looky here! A hidden glen! You LOVE hidden glens. This one has some kinda archer in it.<br /> **''{after Dongelev leaves}'' You're in a hidden glen. There's a tree with zillions of arrows in it.<br /> *'''Poor Gary's Glen ([[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|A1]]):''' Hey! There's a rotten ol' horse over there!<br /> *'''Kerrek Tracks 1 (B1):''' There are large hoof prints in the grass here.<br /> **''{living Kerrek}'' It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!<br /> **''{dead Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. There is a large Kerrek-shaped mound on the grass.<br /> **''{rotting Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Part of the ground looks just like a rotting &lt;!--no capital--&gt;kerrek.<br /> **''{skeletal Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Looks like someone left their spare bones here.<br /> *'''Old Well (C1):''' There's a really generic well here. Oh, and apparently it's autumn on this screen.<br /> *'''Yellow Tree (D1):''' Rushing river [[b/w]] yellow tree.<br /> *'''Waterfall (E1):''' There's a beautiful, magical waterfall cascading down the cliff side.<br /> *'''That Hay Bale (A2):''' Well, there's that big bale of hay over there.<br /> **''{when in hay disguise, anywhere}'' Right now, you see a bunch of hay.<br /> *'''That Mud Puddle (B2):''' There's a dried out mud puddle. It's all caked and cracked like the kind rock stars are always standing on.<br /> **''{when raining}'' Not much to see. 'Sides that big mud puddle.<br /> *'''Archery Range (C2):''' You've come across some kind of shooting gallery. There's a depressed looking archer at the desk there.<br /> *'''River and Stone (D2):''' Not much to see. River's got a rock in it.<br /> *'''Mountain Pass (E2):''' You've reached the mountain pass that leads to Trogdor's lair. A royal knight blocks the entrance.<br /> *'''Jhonka's Cave (A3):''' There's a little cave with a little door with a little note on it.<br /> **''{before getting riches, after Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.&lt;!--No space--&gt;A fat pile of riches lies next to him.<br /> **''{after the Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.<br /> *'''Your Burninated Cottage (B3):''' The remains of your thatched-roof cottage lie before you. You swear revenge against Trogdor.<br /> *'''Pebble Lake West (C3):''' There's definitely half a lake here with a sandy shore.<br /> *'''Pebble Lake East (D3):''' Why it's half a lake.<br /> **''{when the old man is fishing}'' Why it's half a lake.&lt;!--there's no space--&gt;With a fisherman in it. And he's fishing!<br /> *'''Outside Giant Inn (E3):''' There's a giant Inn here. It takes up, like, the entire screen.<br /> **'''Inside Giant Inn:''' What a dump! Only one bed and no minibar? The Innkeeper stands behind the desk and there's a door that's closed.<br /> **'''Inside Giant Inn:''' ''{at night}'' It's still dark out. The grimey old Innkeeper is gone and he left the pantry open.<br /> *'''Outside Mysterious Cottage: (A4)''' There's a run-of-the-mill non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.<br /> **'''Inside Mysterious Cottage:''' This place could use some serious sprucing of the 'up' variety. There's a dresser over there and a broom kind of silhouetted all mysterious like.<br /> *'''Wavy Tree (B4):''' Nothing special here except for that weird wavy tree.<br /> *'''Kerrek Tracks 2 (C4):''' ''{same as Kerrek Tracks 1}''<br /> *'''Outside Baby Lady Cottage (D4):''' There's a ranch-style thatched roof cottage here. There are also what appear to be four crunch berry bushes but you can't be sure.<br /> **'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. A lady rocks her baby in a chair. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.<br /> **'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' ''{after the baby lady leaves}'' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. There is one of those self-rocking chairs. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.<br /> *'''Burninated Trees (E4):''' A signal lantern of some kind hangs from a burninated tree.<br /> **''{at night}'' A burning signal lantern hangs from a severely burninated tree.<br /> *'''Cliff Base:''' You're at the base of a very climbable cliff that leads to Trogdor's lair. This cliff is huge - the kind where rocks start falling down the minute you try to climb it.<br /> *'''Cliffland Heights:''' Wow! It sure gets creepy fast around here! What with all the lightning and scary cave entrances.<br /> *'''Trogdor's Outer Sanctum:''' There are 3 openings with a little cliff in front of each. A beaded curtain hangs in a doorway on the far wall.<br /> *'''Trogdor's Posh Lair:''' You're in a giant cavern which houses a giant dragon. You didn't shrink or anything.<br /> <br /> ==Other Productive Responses==<br /> ===Constructive Conversations===<br /> There are some helpful residents of [[Peasantry]] who will provide you with tips about how to proceed in the game. While these conversations are not necessary for completion of the game, many are important to the game's storyline.<br /> <br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Character !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (at beginning of game) || You explain your situation to the knight. That Trogdor burninated your cottage and you've sworn revenge. You ask for passage up the mountain to settle your score. (Press RETURN to advance through conversations)&lt;br&gt;&quot;Hang on there, Trogdorkilla,&quot; says the knight. &quot;I can only allow actual peasants up the mountain pass to face Trogdor. And you CLEARLY are not one.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Look, Dragonheart...&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;You don't STINK like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;You don't DRESS like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;And you're definitely not ON FIRE like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Once you're those 3 things, come back and maybe we can talk.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Be sure to LOOK around lots. Talk to everyone you see and ASK ABOUT stuff. Type HELP if you get confused and INVENTORY to see your worldly stuff. Type SAVE or LOAD to save or load your game. Duh.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;belt_only&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt) || &quot;Frankly, Matthew Broderick, you sure stink like a peasant. But you still don't DRESS like a peasant and you're not ON FIRE like a peasant.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;robe_only&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Naked Ned's robe) || &quot;My dear Adso, you are dressed well but you don't STINK and you're not ON FIRE. Let us instead exercise our brains and try to solve this tantalizing conundrum.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;belt_and_robe&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt and Naked Ned's robe) || &quot;Almost there, Dirk the Daring. You stink like a peasant and you dress like one too. But you're clearly still not ON FIRE.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | [[Baby Lady &amp; Her Baby#The Baby Lady|The Baby Lady]] || talk lady || &quot;Hello, I'm-&quot; you start but the lady cuts you off&lt;br&gt;&quot;Okay, here's why I let you in here,&quot; she explains. &quot;My husband got squished by Trogdor. And to make matters worse, the insurance riches I got were stolen by Jhonka. Go steal them back for us and I'll give you something great.&quot; || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || talk man (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || You holler at the old man about Trogdor, but he just grumbles about the fish not biting. &quot;Must be using the wrong bait...&quot; he says, suggestively. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || talk man (after throwing chicken feed in lake) || &quot;If you're interested in staying the night, just type 'get a room.'&quot; || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || get a room (without robe)|| &quot;I only serve peasants here, fancypants!&quot; barks the old guy. &quot;Where's your robe?&quot; || Inside giant inn<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ===Useful Documents===<br /> There are a few notes and documents lying around Peasantry that help Rather Dashing on his quest.<br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Item !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | [[Peasant's Quest Items#map|Map]] || get map || You tuck it nice-like into your short, short pants. Type MAP at nearly any time to check the map. || 3B<br /> |-<br /> | Note on [[Old Man]]'s door || read note (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || It says, &quot;Gone Fishin&quot; just like that grog coozie your cousin got you. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | Note on [[Jhonka]]'s door || read note (before killing [[Kerrek]]) || It says &quot;scared of kerrek. go way. -j&quot; || 3A<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ===Helpful Hints===<br /> At times when you stray from the correct path in the game, the computer will respond with suggestions to help keep you on the right track.<br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! Action !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | After jumping in the haystack, go from 2A to any screen except 3A || Drat. The winds are heavy on all but a couple of key screens... looks like you're no longer in stealth mode. || 1A or 2B<br /> |-<br /> | Type any command while the pot of horse grease is on your head || You need to get out of there before that smelly octogenarian gets back. || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | Type any command other than &quot;Talk&quot; or &quot;Talk Trogdor&quot; after Trogdor wakes up || Trogdor is awake and a couple seconds from a Rather Dashing BBQ. Might as well say your peace with him. || Trogdor's Posh Lair<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==Unproductive Responses==<br /> [[Image:closedrawer.PNG|thumb|300px|&gt; CLOSE DRAWER]]<br /> There are many messages that the game gives you when you input commands that are not essential to the game's storyline. Here is a list of all that have been found. When more than one option is given, such as &quot;get/take _____&quot;, either word will produce the same response.<br /> <br /> <br /> {{compactTOC3}}<br /> {{clear}}<br /> ===#===<br /> <br /> ===A===<br /> *'''&quot;Ask about _____&quot;:'''<br /> **'''Baby:'''<br /> ***(to Baby Lady) - &quot;This little guy's all I got left. If only someone would steal back all our riches from that filthy Jhonka.&quot;<br /> **'''Fire:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Well, whenever I see peasants, they tend to be on fire. So get yourself on fire. I hear horse grease gives a nice, controlled burn.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;You need fire? A couple of trees over by the waterfall used to be on fire. But now there's like a signal lantern over there or something.&quot; / &quot;So should I ask that signal lantern?&quot; you ask. / &quot;I dunno man! Whattaya want from me?&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Trogdor just burned down some idiot peasant's cottage. You should ask him,&quot; says Mendelev. / &quot;Yeah, this jerk goes on vacation to some prancey lake and...&quot; / They see you staring daggers at them and turn bright red. / &quot;Oh. Nevermind,&quot; says Dongolev. &quot;Um, yeah. What's a fire?&quot; adds Mendelev.<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Burninator make fire! Barbecue all peasants!&quot;<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I've always preferred being on fire at night. Looks prettier and keeps the butterflies away.&quot;<br /> **'''Jhonka:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Since the Kerrek showed up, we don't see the Jhonka so much anymore. He lives in that little cave over in west Peasantry.&quot;<br /> ***(to Baby Lady) - &quot;That nasty thing killed my husband and took my riches!!&quot; / &quot;I thought Trogdor killed your husband,&quot; you interject. / &quot;Oh right. Yeah. That's what I said. Trogband killed my husbdor.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;The Kerrek is dead!&quot; he cries and hops around some more. You wonder how someone this primitive could have made that much dough.<br /> **'''Kerrek:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I call him Big Stinky. He's slow and stupid, but he'll pound you into milks meat without a second thought.&quot;<br /> **'''Naked Ned:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;That weirdo used to live over in west Peasantry but now I guess he just prances around the forest in his birthday suit.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;Don't talk about that pervert in front of the baby here.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;That guy creeps us out. In fact, shut up about him.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Filthy naked peasant! Stay away from my cave-hole!&quot; Who's he calling naked? HE'S the one wearing the string bikini.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;He used to be such a nice, clothed young man. Wonder what he's done with all his old clothes?&quot;<br /> **'''robe:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Peasants wear those brown robes. You know, with the rope around the waist. Get yourself one of those.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;You can't have mine, pervert! I'm not a nudist peasant like that weirdo over in west Peasantry!&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;We wouldn't know. We only wear archer clothes. You just can't arch real well in a robe, y'know?&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - ''see naked ned''<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I wear my robe hood-down so it's easier to trim my ear-hairs. If you need a robe, maybe try someone that's not using theirs.&quot;<br /> **'''smell:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I never met a peasant that didn't stink. If you wanna smell bad, get the Kerrek involved. That thing reeks!&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;What smells is junior here's drawers! I gotta quit feeding him so much horse!&quot; / &quot;And don't start asking me for his diapers, sicko!&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;That giant pig running around sure smells bad. Maybe talk to him.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Kerrek smell! Now Kerrek dead!&quot; screeches the Jhonka. So you can infer from this that all smells are dead? You always sucked at the analytical questions.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;Well, if you don't stink, maybe find something that does and wear it. Like a dead carcass or summat.&quot;<br /> **'''trogdor:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;If I had a gold coin for every whining peasant's cottage that freaking dragon burninated, I'd be rich as a jhonka.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;I hope you kill that stupid dragon. My 'Wives of Squished Peasants' support group would bake you a Poor Gary pie if you did.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Oh man, there was this one time when I came THIS close to having Trogdor ARROWED!&quot; says Dongolev. / &quot;Hey, shut up! That was me!&quot; interrupts Mendelev, &quot;YOU almost arrowed that blue baby!&quot; says Dongolev. [sic] / &quot;Did not!&quot; / &quot;Did so!&quot; / &quot;Did not!&quot; / (You see where this is going.)<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;All hail Burninator! Trogdor Number One! Beat Peasant Tech!&quot; says the grimy Jhonka.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;Are you talking about that young green boy that lives up the street? He's always tearing my roof off and eating my customers.&quot;<br /> **'''anything else:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I don't know anything about that, short pants.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;I dunno what you're talking about.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Either we don't know anything about that, or you're real boring.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Jhonka don't know nothing bout that!&quot;<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I don't know nothing about no whatever you just said.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere else) - &quot;Ask about what?&quot;<br /> : &lt;small&gt;* - You can only ask Mendelev and Dongolev when they're together.&lt;/small&gt;<br /> *'''&quot;attack sign&quot;''' (at the Mountain Pass) - &quot;I was being facetious, Mr. Smarty-short-pants. No sign attacking for you.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===B===<br /> *'''&quot;boo&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Scared me.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;break/kick/punch door&quot;''' (at Outside mysterious cottage) - &quot;Violence is not the answer.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;break sign&quot;''' (at Mountain Pass) - ''See &quot;attack sign&quot;''<br /> *'''&quot;break stump, sit on stump, etc.&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Are you THAT bored? Do some questing already!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;buy kerrek a cold one&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;The kerrek&lt;!--sic--&gt; is a teetotaller and is offended by your offer. You've really cheesed him off now.&quot; '''Warning:''' This speeds the Kerrek up, so be careful. This command was first seen in the email [[for kids]].<br /> <br /> ===C===<br /> *'''&quot;[[The Cheat|cheat]]&quot;''' (or any phrase involving &quot;cheat&quot;; anywhere) - &quot;Meh.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;climb _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;cliff&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere near the bottom of the cliff) - &quot;There aren't enough footholds and you don't have any carabeaners on you.&quot;<br /> ***(at the top of the cliff) - &quot;They don't show how the sports-drink people get down from the cliff. You've no idea how to start.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fence&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;No, you have business to attend to here in Peasantry.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;More like you should walk through that gaping hole in it. Just an idea.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Not going to dignify that with a response.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in bucket&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Your butt is too big.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;No go. Your insurance doesn't cover that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but at the wavy tree or hidden glen) - &quot;But then your hands would get all sappy.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Naw, you'd probably figure out some way to kill yourself doing that.&quot;<br /> ***(at the wavy tree) - &quot;You don't climb wavy trees.&quot;<br /> ***(after getting a room in the inn) - &quot;Naw. That's dumb. Do better.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;close _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Already done. That was easy!&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - &quot;You can't. That baby really wrenched it open good.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;'''<br /> ***(without stealing the robe) - &quot;Right, right. Wouldn't want to leave the robes out where any old guy trying to beat an adventure game could take them.&quot;<br /> ***(when it's closed) - &quot;A riddle: What can be closed that is already closed? (hint: not this drawer)&quot;<br /> ***(after getting the robe) - &quot;Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;cut off arms, legs, and head&quot;''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Very funny. You have trouble cutting out coupons in the weekly 'Peasant Penny-Pincher' circular. I'd like to see you try.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===D===<br /> *'''&quot;[[dan]]&quot;''' (or any phrase involving Dan; anywhere): &quot;Dan's still okay. Got a place on Dekalb with Rick and his wife. Slimmed up a bit and looking towards the future.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;dance&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You'd rather just stand here and soak up the scene.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;die&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;That wasn't very smart. You dead.&quot; '''Warning:''' This kills you.<br /> *'''&quot;drink&quot;''' (or any object after &quot;drink&quot;; anywhere) - &quot;For simplicity's sake you are immune to hunger and thirst in this game. So you got that going for you./Which is nice.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;drop baby&quot;'''<br /> **(once you have baby) - &quot;Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm.&quot; '''or''' &quot;Quit tryin to ditch the baby!&quot;<br /> **(before you have baby) - &quot;You don't even have two babies to rub together.&quot;<br /> **(at the well) - &quot;Like where?&quot;<br /> <br /> ===E===<br /> <br /> ===F===<br /> *'''&quot;feed horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen before scaring him) - &quot;There's a good chance that horse has NEVER eaten. I doubt he'll start now.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===G===<br /> *'''&quot;get a room&quot;''' (when on fire) - \oard&lt;!-- Yes, it's really a backslash, not a B. That's why &quot;[sic]&quot; is there. --&gt; [sic] of Peasant Health says I can't serve any folk that's on fire. Nothing personal. Well, I mean, I don't like you much anyway.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;get/take/steal _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;(anything not listed and not relevant to the plot)&quot;''' - &quot;You probably WISH you could get that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;arrow&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the archery range) - &quot;They have 'RANGE' printed on them, so it would be kind of embarrassing to have to shoot around with them. Also, that guy over there is giving you the evil eye.&quot;<br /> ***(at the secret glen while Dongolev is there) - &quot;Something tells me now's not a good time.&quot; (you get the arrow anyway and Dongolev shoots you) &quot;It wasn't a good time. Hey, my mom's making peasant-kabobs for dinner TOO! Right. Anyway. You dead. Thanks for playing, and try not to die.&quot; '''Warning:''' As you can see, this kills you.<br /> ***(at the secret glen after getting the first arrow OR at the secret glen after getting the second arrow after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;You're pretty much all set on the arrow front. They're kinda cool, though.&quot;<br /> ***(at the secret glen after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;You grab yet another arrow from the tree hoping to get some bonus points.&quot;<br /> ***(at Kerrek's body after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;Eww! No way. That thing's got some serious Kerrek-Brand kooties on it now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage, while she has the baby) - &quot;'You want to be a part of this family? GO GET US THOSE RICHES!!' she shrieks.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bell&quot;''' (in the inn, after getting a room) - &quot;You can't. It looks like it's been somehow olded&lt;!-- sic --&gt; to the desk.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (after getting it) - &quot;You totally got the belt already, as evidenced by the rancid cloud of odor that follows you like a shadow.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;berries&quot;'''<br /> ***(the same bush twice outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You already searched that bush. It was okay. Nothing to write home about... oh, wait... you don't have a home. My b.&quot;<br /> ***(after you've gotten the trinket, outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You've searched your fill of berry bushes for this game. If you want to search more press 'reload' on the browser&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake) - &quot;NO MAN! JEEZ!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bone/skull&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff) - Eww. No. Grody. You're grody. No. Eww.<br /> **'''&quot;broom&quot;''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;No, no. The broom is in the foreground and you can't take things from the foreground. You don't see me all typing 'get browser window', do you?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bucket&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;You can't, it's tied to a rope and you're terrible with knots.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;candle&quot;''' (at night, in the inn) - It seems like you should be able to do that, doesn't it? Sorry. No dice.<br /> **'''&quot;chair&quot;''' <br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is there) - &quot;No. There's a big bag of something in it. Oh, that's the baby lady.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is gone) - &quot;No. Too big for pants.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;club&quot;''' (outside the Jhonka's cottage when he's out) - &quot;Now there's a surefire way to get yourself killed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;You get a hernia from lifting it. -2 Movement points, -10 Constitution. Don't do that again.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage after stealing feed) - &quot;You don't need anymore. It might give rise to old temptations.<br /> **'''&quot;fire&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, before getting the horse grease) - &quot;You're just not flammable enough.&quot;<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting the horse grease) - &quot;You don't need to get IT. Just let IT get YOU.&quot;<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting on fire) - &quot;You're already on fire! What? You want to be MORE on fire?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;You nasty. Besides, they wouldn't survive a minute away from that horse's butt.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;gold/money&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Um, that's chicken feed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;grease&quot;''' (inside the inn, at night, when you already got the grease) - &quot;You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.<br /> **'''&quot;hay&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;Who do you think you are? Some kind of Thy Dungeonman? You don't need any hay.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;There's a huge bale a couple of screens over from here. Why bother stealing?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain whether or not he's still alive) - &quot;Well, he does smell real bad. But he's a bit too big to fit in your pocket.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lantern&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;Better not. There's an engraved plaque on it that says, &quot;Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of 'You Die'.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;mud&quot;'''<br /> ***(when it's wet, before you fall in) - &quot;You can't get the mud so much. More like the mud'll get you.&quot;<br /> ***(when it's wet, after you fall in) - &quot;You've already gotten an heapin' helpin' all up on yo'self.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;map&quot;''' (at your cottage, after you've gotten it) - &quot;Yeah but like you already map the took, guy!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;note&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Jhonka's cave) - &quot;It's been magically sealed to the door with a wondrously whimsical spell.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;What is it with you and notes?! No!!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;old man rub&quot;''' (in the inn) - You disgust me.<br /> **'''&quot;paper&quot;''' (in the inn) - Naw, it might be important to that wrinkly old loon.<br /> **'''&quot;painting&quot;''' (in the inn) - Weird. It's actually painted right into the wall. Like, the frame and everything.<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles&quot;'''<br /> ***(after you've gotten them) - &quot;Come now. We've been through this jaunty little bit before. You took them from the half lake screen with the cattail and stuff.&quot;<br /> ***(from the opposite side of where you get the pebbles) &quot;You do your best Mr. Fantastic impression, but you can't reach them from here.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;plague&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - Wrong game, Mispeller Jones. Try the little button to the left of the 'W'.<br /> **'''&quot;plaque&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - You have enough of that on your browning, rotten peasant teeth already.<br /> **'''&quot;pillow&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;Not a chance. There's even more questionable stains on that pillow than there are on that rug.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You don't have anywhere to use it and it is rather bulky, so you leave it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pot&quot;''' (in the inn, after you already have horse grease) - You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.<br /> **'''&quot;robe&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, after you've gotten it) - You still remember the time when you took them. Oh, the times have changed ... but the robes?<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, when the drawer is closed) - You reach into the closed drawer and nearly break your hand slamming it. Just like a bird on a pane of glass minus the blamelessness.<br /> **'''&quot;rock&quot;'''<br /> ***(by the stream) - &quot;For what? Now you're just making up puzzles to solve.&quot;<br /> ***(at the mud puddle) - &quot;That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me.&quot;<br /> ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage, after moving it) - &quot;You've already moved the stone out of the way to reveal a less-than-peasant-sized hole.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rug&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;You're not touching that thing. Too many questionable stains on it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;stuff/food&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Which foodstuffs?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;target&quot;''' (at the archery range) - &quot;No. Those will fall on you and more than likely kill you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;give _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;(anything not listed)&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;We don't need that mess.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere except for the woman's cottage) - &quot;You don't need to give that now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn, before you get the baby) - &quot;You have no baby nor any immediate prospects.&quot;<br /> ***(in the inn, when you already have the pills) - &quot;You already milked that fogey for all the pills he's worth.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;riches&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, before getting the riches) - &quot;'That's right,' she whines. 'Find my riches, and give here.'&quot;<br /> ***(outside Jhonka's cave, before jumping in hay) - &quot;The Jhonka will see you! And rip out your jugular with his teeth or something equally horrible.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, after giving the riches) - &quot;We did that already, and it was sort of humiliating.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trinket&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot; 'Did you find that thing in my yard?' she asks. 'I got that thing free in a box of Plaguezees. I need some FOR REAL riches!' &quot;<br /> ***(inside woman's cottage after giving trinket to Mendelev) &quot; 'Why are you holding your hand out?' she asks. 'I told you I need riches, so I can't give em away.' You don't have a trinket to give, you realize.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;go _____&quot;''' (anything or letter can be put in here) - &quot;Use the arrow keys, pal. Just like a joypad only more like your day job.<br /> <br /> ===H===<br /> *'''&quot;haldo&quot;'''<br /> **(anywhere but in the secret glade, before or after talking to Mendelev) - &quot;That's totally not Dongolev.&quot;<br /> **(in the secret glade before talking to Mendelev) - &quot;What'd you read that in PQ Stragedy [sic] Guide? Go talk to my brother first.&quot;<br /> **(in the secret glade after Dongolev leaves) - &quot;Haldo?.' you call out... 'Hadloooooo' [sic] &quot;<br /> **(at the archery Range after Dongolev has returned) - &quot;HALDO!!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;hide in hay&quot;''' (at the hay bale, before getting in) - &quot;Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;hug tree&quot;''' (at the hay bale) - &quot;To every thing, turn, turn, turn. There is a season, turn, turn, turn.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===I===<br /> <br /> ===J===<br /> *'''&quot;jump in hay&quot;''' (by the hay bale, when you're not muddy) - &quot;Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;jump in hay&quot;''' (near the hay bale, when you're muddy but not right next to it) - &quot;Who do you think you are, MJ? Try from a little closer.&quot;<br /> ===K===<br /> *'''&quot;kick/kill/punch poor gary&quot;'''<br /> **(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;You attempt to cause Poor Gary harm for no good reason other than you kinda suck at this game. {Poor Gary kicks you} WOW! For a decrepit old horse, Poor Gary still packs a mean whallop. You dead. Thanks for playing.&quot; '''Warning:''' Needless to say, this kills you.<br /> **(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;kill _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Those flies and that horse's butt have a symbiotic relationship. You have no right to disrupt that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (after he's outside) - &quot;No way! Jhonka's are born scrappers. He may be little, but he'll crawl ya.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is present and you do not have the bow and arrow) - &quot;With what?! You got no weapons except your butter-knife wit.&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the arrow, but not the bow) - &quot;With what?! You gonna throw that arrow at him?&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the bow, but not the arrow) - &quot;With what?! You got no arrow, fool!&quot;<br /> ***(after the Kerrek is dead) - &quot;Yeah. You smote the Kerrek. You deserve a trophy full of Mutton-ums.&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is not there) - &quot;Good idea. But you kinda need the actual Kerrek to be here for that to work.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;''' (while Trogdor's asleep, in his lair) - &quot;Like how?&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;knock&quot;'''<br /> **(at the woman's cottage) - &quot; 'It's open,' says a female voice from inside. Um, it's NOT open, but you get her drift.&quot;<br /> **(at the woman's cottage, after she leaves) - No one answers. That crazy lady took off. How ever will you get past this closed door now?<br /> **(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - &quot;A gravelly voice inside yells, 'JUST US CHICKENS' '''or:''' 'NO FOR RENT' '''or:''' 'I GIVE LAST YEAR!' '''or:''' 'GAVE AT OFFICE' '''or:''' 'GO WAY!'&quot;<br /> **(at the inn, while it's closed) - &quot;No answer.&quot;<br /> **(at the inn, after it's been opened) - &quot;Just open it, man!&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;You could knock until your knuckles bleed. Nobody's home.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;Knock until knuckles bleed&quot;'''<br /> **(at Naked Ned's cottage)-&quot;You knock for about 4 hours until your knuckles are raw and bloody. That was fun!&quot;<br /> **(type it again at Naked Ned's cottage)-&quot;You done that already. A great time was had by all.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===L===<br /> *'''&quot;light lantern&quot;'''<br /> **(at the burninated trees before it is lit) - &quot;With what? Your red-hot intellect?&quot;<br /> **(at the burninated trees after it is lit) - &quot;Already lit, moron.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;load&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;look _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''(at anything, while hiding inside the bale of hay)''' - &quot;Right now, you see a bunch of hay.&quot;<br /> **'''(at something previously in your inventory but now gone)''' - &quot;You used to have one, before the great item blight of 402. Check your INVENTORY to read about it.&quot; <br /> **'''(at something currently in your inventory)''' - &quot;You've totally got one of those! Check your INVENTORY to give'r a serious looksee.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;arrow&quot;''' (at the hidden glen) - &quot;Somebody call a tree doctor. Them puppies are stuck in there like a, um, er ... stuck pig.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage while she has the baby) - &quot;Peasant babies are pretty freaking adorable. This little guy's no exception.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bed&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Is that just a fitted sheet over a slab of concrete?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bell&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Tis broked.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;Yecch. I wouldn't touch that unless it was, like, an important quest item or something.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;berries&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake) &quot;Shut up.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Crunch berries maybe.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;boat/dinghy&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot;Keep your eyes off my dinghy!&quot; <br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake after he is gone) - &quot;It was loaned out to the [[Fishing Challenge '91|Fishing Challenge videogame]].&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bone/skeleton/skull&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff for the bone and skull and in Trogdor's outer sanctum for the skeleton) - &quot;You can't be sure but you think those are dead person bones.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bush&quot;''' (at the west side of the lake) - &quot;Don't worry about that bush. Yeah, there's red berries on it but never you mind.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bushes&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You suspect they might be crunch berry bushes.&quot;<br /> ***(in the hidden glen) - &quot;There's some thick 'ol bushes up in this hidden glen.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;candle&quot;''' (in the inn after getting a room) - &quot;That candle's not at all on fire.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;cave&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the Jhonka's cave) - &quot;Just a little cave. Calm down.&quot;<br /> ***(at the top of the cliff) - &quot;The cave entrance beckons to you like a hot mutton sandwich might.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;chair&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;One of those self-rocking kind. Not bad for a brown-collar peasant-type. Must be trickle-down in action.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;club/turkey leg&quot;''' (at the Jhonka's cave when he's outside) - &quot;Turkey leg or no, it looks like the Jhonka's been gnawing on it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;cottage&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the yellow tree) - &quot;You see a cottage in the distance. You hold your fingers up to one eye and pretend to squash it.&quot;<br /> ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;A run-of-the-mill, non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You had a cottage once. A lot like this one. *sniff* Trogdor will pay!&quot;<br /> ***(at your burninated cottage) - &quot;All your baubles and trinkets, your flasks and scrolls, your goblets and staffs! BURNINATED!!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;crank&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the well before putting pebbles in the bucket) - &quot;It looks rusted in place.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well after putting pebbles in the bucket) - &quot;That is a bonafide crank. It seems to work now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;curtain/beads&quot;''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;That thing's awesome. You always wanted one for your dorm room but your roommate was a total drag and said no.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;desk&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the archery range) - &quot;It says 'archery' on it. My wife's drunk.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn) - &quot;There's a broken bell and a piece of parchment on there.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;Just a door. A door with a note on it.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;A wicked beaded curtain hangs in the doorway.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Listen to you, &quot;look door&quot; What kinda gaming is that? It's a door and it's closed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Cool Ranch. Your old favorite.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fence&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;A particularly rickety peasant-issue fence. Trogdor uses bits of these as toothpicks.&quot;<br /> ***(by haystack/Jhonka's cottage/Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;A standard peasant fence. Trogdor makes milk's meat outta these things.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Wow! There's a hole in it on THIS side too!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;A cloud of buttflies fly around the horse's butt.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;footprints/tracks&quot;''' (when the Kerrek is present) - &quot;It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;footprints/tracks&quot;''' (when the Kerrek is not present) - &quot;If you weren't a simpleton you might think these were Kerrek prints. But since you are a simpleton, you just go, 'Yay! Piggies!' &quot;<br /> **'''&quot;ground&quot;''' - &quot;Hey, it's your old fireproof map of Peasantry.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;hay&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;It reminds you of a warm, safe place where as a child you'd hide.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Hay is for horses!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;This bag o' bones looks like he's headed for the glue factory. He's got the name 'Poor Gary' branded onto his hide.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in hay&quot;''' (at the hay bale) - &quot;You search and search through the haystack. Nope. No needles.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;It's dark and welly in there. Smell like stank too.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;inn&quot;''' (outside the inn) - &quot;Looks okay from out here. But do they have a free breakfast buffet?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (at the Jhonka's cottage when he's outside) - &quot;The Jhonka is gray and grody. He's got a cromagnon forehead and jaw with a pair of wicked incisors. He sports an old loin-cheese cloth and carries either a big club or one of those roasted turkey legs you got at the Ren Fest.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - &quot;It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!&quot;<br /> ***(while he's decomposing) - &quot;He dead. You didn't think he could have smelled any worse? Well, guess what: He smells worse.&quot;<br /> ***(when he's all bones) - &quot;He dead. He wasn't fat, he was just big boned! Poor pig-man.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;knight/man/dude/guy&quot;''' (at the mountain pass) - &quot;He looks way cooler than you.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lady/woman&quot;''' <br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she's still there) - &quot;Typical pasty peasant woman, overbearing and judgemental&lt;!-- sic --&gt;. Obsessed with goods and land.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, after she's gone) - &quot;I can't believe you thought you had a chance with her!/Dork!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lake&quot;''' (at the fisherman's lake) - &quot;Why it's half a lake.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;lake/water&quot;''' (at the lake with pebbles) - &quot;It extends onto the next screen and has a sandy shore.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;lantern&quot;'''<br /> ***(while unlit; at the burninated trees) - &quot;It's unlit at the moment. That fancy pants royal knight probably lights it on nights when Troggie's on the prowl.&quot;<br /> ***(while lit; at the burninated trees) - &quot;It's lit! Musta been a Trogdor sighting tonight.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lightning&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff) - &quot;Scary. Like Auntie Gerelda's crow's feet.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;man&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;He's an older peasant with big cotton swabs stuffed up his nose. Oh wait. Those are nose hairs. Grody.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;man/guy/peasant/old guy/old man&quot;''' (at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot;An older peasant sits silently in a boat with his line in the water.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;ned&quot;''' (at the wavy tree, when Naked Ned is peeking out) - &quot;A fairly naked man is peeking out behind that tree.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;openings&quot;''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;They're mysterious and out of reach. Like girls were to you in high school.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;painting&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;It's a painting of dogs playing 'Magic: The Nerdening.'&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;paper&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;It says, 'Note to self: Wave arms wildly!'&quot;<br /> ***(at your burninated cottage) - &quot;Hey, it's your old fireproof map to Peasantry.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pillow&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;If you sleep in that bed, you're NOT putting your head on that nasty pillow.&quot;<br /> ***(in the woman's cottage) - &quot;Swedish foam. Your favorite.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pot&quot;''' (in the inn after getting a room) - &quot;It's full of horse grease. I guess that sounds useful.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rock&quot;'''<br /> ***(by the stream) - &quot;The ages have worn this rock down. It is a rock of ages. Still a-rollin.&quot;<br /> ***(at the mud patch) - &quot;That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage after removing it) - &quot;Some jerk removed a loose stone from the back of the cottage.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rug&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Maybe that used to be a magic carpet. But it's sure a cat pee-stained carpet now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;sand&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake) - &quot;One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty two... One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty three... Drat! You lost count again.&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the pebbles) - &quot;Remember those pebbles on the beach? Man, those were good times.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;shelf&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Nothing but a bag of chicken feed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;sign&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the mountain pass) - &quot;What that sign there? That sign says 'Trogdor.'&quot;<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;If you can't read that sign, you need to quit playing this game.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;stump&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated trees) - &quot;NOT a good place to sit.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;You run out of ideas as to what to do next, and stare at the stump.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;target&quot;''' (at the archery range) - &quot;Hey, they had those same targets at Peasant Scout Camp!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated trees) - &quot;Severely burninated. They could probably use some salve.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown!&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Dude, and then the elf, like, totally climbed up it. It was awesome!&quot;<br /> ***(at the wavy tree) - &quot;It's weird and wavy.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well) - &quot;That's one orange tree alright.&quot;<br /> ***(at the yellow tree) - &quot;You're really hurtin' for puzzle solutions, huh?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trees&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You are an incredibly boring person.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Trogdor's lair, while he's asleep) - &quot;Holy crap! Trogdor's way bigger in person than he looks in most tapestries you've seen. All of the sudden, losing your cottage doesn't seem so bad anymore.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's lair, when he's awake) - &quot;Trogdor is looming menacingly over you with a tiny wee sword stuck in his belly. He looks like he's gonna kill you really soon.&quot;<br /> ***(at mountain pass) - I know it's labeled 'Trogdor,' but it's really just a sign, silly. I mean, attack it if you want...<br /> **'''&quot;water&quot;''' (by the stream) - Got a rock in it.<br /> **'''&quot;waterfall&quot;''' (at the waterfall) - &quot;Upon closer inspection, you discover it's not magical. That's just mist, not magic sparkles or anything.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Pretty average. You're not a big well person. You're more into bridges. It does have a cute little bucket though. Your dad liked buckets. Oh, and there's a metal crank too. Meemaw loved cranks.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;window&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;Check it out! There's an INN in there.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn) - &quot;Check it out! There's a Peasantry out there!&quot;<br /> <br /> ===M===<br /> *'''&quot;make friends with kerrek&quot;''' - &quot;Look, it didn't work for Strongbad [sic] and it's not gonna work for you either.&quot; (As seen in [[for kids]])<br /> *'''&quot;map&quot;''' (before you find the map; anywhere) - &quot;We are neither confirming nor denying the presence of a map in this game, but irridisregardless, you don't have one.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===N===<br /> <br /> ===O===<br /> *'''&quot;open _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - &quot;It's locked. With one o' them SCHLAGE deadbolts, too. Those things are hard core.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;How? There's no knob.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - &quot;It's already open. Since this is an adventure game we're gonna proffer you adventure yourself on in there.&quot;<br /> ***(at the inn, while it's closed) - &quot;It's locked fast!&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn, before getting a room) - &quot;'That's the pantry,' says the Innkeeper. 'Employees only.'&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage when it's open) - &quot;Yeah, totally! Except it's already open you moron.&quot;<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage after getting the robe and closing the drawer) - &quot;You already closed it, which was nice, and so we gave you some points. Let sleeping drawers lie.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===P===<br /> *'''&quot;party&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You are part of the Whig party. They are making gangrene-awareness their number one campaign priority.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;pet horse/poor gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Aww, that's sweet. Poor Gary tries in vain to bite your arm off.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;[[pwd]]&quot;''' - Prints on-screen your location as a (fake) directory.<br /> *'''&quot;put _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Where you wanna toss em?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby in well/bucket&quot;''' (at the well, before getting the baby) - &quot;Hmmmm... A baby, eh? You check your sundial. Babies-R-Us is probably closed by now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby in well&quot;'''<br /> ***(after getting the sub) - &quot;Li'l tyke seems to enjoy the ride, but - thin or not - we've got a plot to advance here.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well with the baby) - &quot;Jeez man! At least put the poor little guy in the bucket! Give him a fighting chance!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles&quot;''' - &quot;Where you wanna toss em?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles in bucket&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the well, when you don't have them) - &quot;Find some pebbles first and you might have the makings of a good idea. About time.&quot;<br /> ***(after getting the maskus) - &quot;We've already been through this exercise and it went pretty well, ya?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles in well&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the well, when you have them) - &quot;Then it'd be tough to get them back. You never go ANYWHERE without your rocks&quot;<br /> ***(at the well, when you don't have them) - &quot;Riiight, right. Which ones?&quot;<br /> <br /> ===Q===<br /> *'''&quot;quit&quot;''' - &quot;Well fine Boring Sanders! Hope you saved your game cause it is OVER between us!&quot; '''Warning:''' The game still quits.<br /> <br /> ===R===<br /> *'''&quot;ride horse/poor gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Naw, snapping horse spines just doesn't seem as cool as it did in high school.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;ring bell&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Instead of ringing or dinging, it just goes DUNG.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===S===<br /> *'''&quot;save&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;scare horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before getting the mask) - &quot;You tell Gary the &quot;THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!&quot; one but he doesn't act very scared. He's probably heard it before.&quot; '''or:''' &quot;You tell Gary about how much cholesterol is in hay and how his arteries are probably all black and clogged. He shrugs it off.&quot; '''or:''' &quot;You tell Gary the story about the kid who pops this big zit he has and all these baby spiders come out. It doesn't phase him.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;sit on stump&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Are you THAT bored?! Do some questing already!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;skip stones&quot;''' (at the west side of the lake) - &quot;You've always been terrible at skipping stones. And you're even worse at just plain throwing rocks in lakes. You decide to save yourself the embarrassment.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;sleep&quot;'''<br /> **(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;That's probably how the first baby got here. Forget it.&quot;<br /> **(in the inn while the man is there) - &quot;You probably want to talk to that stinky old guy over there about that.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;smell/sniff&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Smells like a computer game.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;swim&quot;'''<br /> **(at the rock in the river) - &quot;Peasants can't swim. Like, it's illegal.&quot;<br /> **(at the waterfall) - &quot;That waterfall would probably churn you into one of those weight-gain protein smoothies.&quot;<br /> **(at the west side of the lake) - &quot;Not in this game, Swimmer [[Dan]]! In this game, you drown.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===T===<br /> *'''&quot;talk&quot;'''<br /> **(at the archery range, while away from or behind the desk) - &quot;Why don't you saddle up to the front of the table there, cowboy?&quot;<br /> **(at the archery range, after beating the minigame) - &quot;Go away!&quot; says Dongolev. &quot;We're arguing about who's hotter,&quot; adds Mendelev.<br /> **(at wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- &quot;You startled him and he disappears!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;talk ____&quot;'''<br /> **'''(someone not in the screen, inanimate, or nonexistent; anywhere)''' - &quot;It's sad when you have to make up people to talk to.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage, before you get the baby) - &quot;You say some cute, stupid stuff and the baby just blows snot bubbles.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen when he's there) - &quot;Your attempts at conversation are met with horse grunts and tail flaps. Which is better than you do at conversation with most people.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (while inside the hay) - &quot;Not now! You'll blow your cover!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - &quot;Me llamo Julio,' you begin... It seems only to further anger the already temperamental Kerrek. That stupid 'Learn Kerrek in 3 Weeks' cassette did nothing for you!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lady&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage after she's gone) - &quot;You'd call out her name and let it ring through the empty room, enveloping you in sorrow, but you don't actually know her name.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;Naked Ned&quot;''' (at the wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- &quot;'Never speak of this meeting!' says the nudie and he disapperars.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;''' (at the wavy tree) - &quot;Trees can't talk but a breeze picks up and you swear the leaves whisper the words 'Naked Ned.' Weird.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;''' (in Trogdor's lair while he's asleep) - &quot;You yell some choice expletives at Trogdor but he doesn't wake up. There's a cool echo, though.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;well&quot;''' (At the well) &quot;You yell into the well and enjoy the echo. Keep in mind there are no stereos yet.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;this sucks&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;throw _____&quot;'''<br /> **(anything but the feed; at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot; 'That isn't gonna work for bait!' the old man screams, at a needlessly harsh volume.&quot;<br /> **(anything; when the fisherman is gone) - &quot;You already fed the fish. Let's get moving, here, people!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but the west side of the lake) - &quot;Hmmm. Maybe try someplace else.<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake before getting the baby) - &quot;I think you misread the walkthrough on GameFAQs. You gotta get the baby first.&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the soda) - &quot;Baby Dashing is a little waterlogged from the toss, and you read his soft gurgling to mean that there's no more soda left.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere without the baby) - &quot;You don't even have two babies to rub together.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the east side of the lake before getting the feed) - &quot;You have nothing with which to do that...with.&quot;<br /> ***(at the east side of the lake after throwing the feed) - &quot;You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!&quot; (The repetition is probably just a goof.)<br /> *'''&quot;try&quot;''' - (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Okay, fine. You try to cut off your hard-earned extremities. It doesn't work. You dead. Thanks for nothing.&quot; '''Warning:''' You die.<br /> *'''&quot;turn crank&quot;'''<br /> **(at the well, on the other side of the screen) - &quot;You got a short reach to match your short pants. Try standing closer to that crank.&quot;<br /> **(at well, after you get the maskus) - {first time} &quot;Down she goes! You could do this all day!&quot; {second time} &quot;The drama grips you, but the bucket is empty. On the bright side, you're getting a pretty sweet workout for your Deltoidus Rex muscles.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===U===<br /> *'''&quot;use/deploy baby&quot;'''<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, before getting the baby) - &quot;Swell idea, but is you ain't my baby? I.e. you ain't got one?&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, before moving the stone) - &quot;Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm.&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, after the baby has left) - &quot;Li'l P.B. has moved on, and the door seems to be open...I can't see why we'd go through this all over again.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;use pebbles&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;What do you propose to do with them? Discuss.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===V===<br /> <br /> ===W===<br /> *'''&quot;wake up trogdor&quot;''' - &quot;Troggie...&quot;, you murmur. &quot;Troggie, wake up it's time for Burnination school.&quot; He's not budging.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;wear _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (after getting the belt) - &quot;You're already wearing it. Too bad you smell like the trash barge off Peasant Isle.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;mask&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Not on this screen. You've got your image to think about. Actually, you might want to start deliberating on that right now.&quot;<br /> ***(in Poor Gary's glen after scaring him) - &quot;Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;robe&quot;'''<br /> ***(if the robe is not in your inventory) - &quot;You don't have anything but your 'Scalding Lake' t-shirt. And pants. Forgot to mention the pants.&quot;<br /> ***(if you are already wearing the robe) - &quot;You're already in the old skool robe. Represent.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;what the f&amp;mdash;&quot;''' ''([[Swears|uncensored version]])''&lt;!--actually &quot;what the fuck&quot;--&gt; (anywhere) - &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;where&quot;''' (anywhere) - Tells you where you are.<br /> *'''&quot;why&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;I wish I knew.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===X===<br /> <br /> ===Y===<br /> *&quot;'''Yes'''&quot; (to the Jhonka when he asks you about his riches)- &quot;'I KILL YOU!!' screams the Jhonka. ''{The Jhonka clubs you to death}'' Club or turkey leg, the jhonka sure just beat you senseless with whatever he was holding. You dead. Thanks for playing!&quot; '''Warning:''' Obviously, you will die.<br /> <br /> ===Z===<br /> <br /> ===Action Based===<br /> '''Warning:''' All of the below will kill you.<br /> <br /> *'''(Walk too close to the Kerrek)''' - ''{The Kerrek pounds your head into the ground}'' Your mom always told you not to take head poundings from strange Kerreks. And NOW looks what's happened. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Walk in the path of Dongelev's arrows)''' - ''{Dongolev shoots you in the head}'' That guy has no sense. He shot you. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Nice one, William Tell. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Leave the screen after putting the baby in the bucket)''' - Nice try. Ditch the baby at the bottom of the well, eh? Thought you'd be able to just walk away and it's nothing by mead and wenches from now on, huh? Well guess what? You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Hit by rock or pterodactyl when climbing the cliff)''' - ''{You fall to the ground and lie in a heap}'' Oops! You climbed real bad. You knew that you were AVOIDING the rocks, right? Not collecting them. Anyways, nice try. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Walk too close to Trogdor while he's asleep)''' - ''{Trogdor burninates you without waking up}'' Yow. Looks like you got a little too close. You dead. Maybe next time don't get too close.<br /> <br /> {{Peasant's Quest}}<br /> [[Category:Peasant's Quest]] [[Category:Lists]]</div> Mon, 18 Jun 2007 06:00:17 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Talk:Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses <p>GWR 2004:&#32;/* L */ missing quotation mark</p> <hr /> <div>[[Image:PQ_look_footprints.png|thumb|300px|&gt; LOOK FOOTPRINTS]]<br /> The [[Peasant's Quest]] game relies on text commands to complete objectives in the game. While there are programmed responses to all of the necessary actions in the game's storyline, the game contains many responses to unproductive commands as well.<br /> <br /> {| border=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;toc&quot;<br /> ! align=&quot;center&quot; | {{int:toc}}<br /> |-<br /> | align=&quot;left&quot; |<br /> *[[#Walkthrough Messages|1 Walkthrough Messages]]<br /> *[[#The Three Keepers' Messages|2 The Three Keepers' Messages]]<br /> **[[#The First Keeper|2.1 The First Keeper]]<br /> **[[#The Second Keeper|2.2 The Second Keeper]]<br /> **[[#The Third Keeper|2.3 The Third Keeper]]<br /> *[[#Area Descriptions|3 Area Descriptions]]<br /> *[[#Other Productive Responses|4 Other Productive Responses]]<br /> **[[#Constructive Conversations|4.1 Constructive Conversations]]<br /> **[[#Useful Documents|4.2 Useful Documents]]<br /> **[[#Helpful Hints|4.3 Helpful Hints]]<br /> *[[#Unproductive Responses|5 Unproductive Responses]]<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==Walkthrough Messages==<br /> {{spoiler}}<br /> The following are the messages displayed while completing the minimal number of tasks to achieve a perfect score. Note that different messages may be displayed for a game completed differently (e.g. if the Three Keepers' questions are answered), and that there are [[#Unproductive Responses|many other messages]] that may be displayed in response to inputs that are not constructive and/or not essential to completion of the game.<br /> <br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Points !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || YOU are Rather Dashing, a humble peasant living in the peasant kingdom of Peasantry.&lt;br&gt;You return home from a vacation on Scalding Lake only to find that TROGDOR THE BURNINATOR has burninated your thatched roof cottage along with all your goods and services.&lt;br&gt;With nothing left to lose, you swear to get revenge on the Wingaling Dragon in the name of burninated peasants everywhere. || 3B<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || You head east towards the mountain atop which TROGDOR lives. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || That's a nice looking lake. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || You can start playing in a second here. || 2D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || Okay, go for it. || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || get pebbles || You grab up a handful of fairly substantial pebbles. You make sure to get an even mix of sedentary, igneous, and, um, sureptitious rocks. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || put rocks in bucket || You plunk all your pebbles into the bucket. The weight causes it to descend to the bottom of the well with a quickness! || 1D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || turn crank || &quot;The crank seems to have loosened and you haul the bucket back up. What's this? Why there's a monster maskus in there! No doubt leftover from some pagan ritual. Silly pagans.&lt;br&gt;You grab up the scary moster maskus. Man, this thing could scare a horse! || 1D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || talk man || &quot;Oh, hi. I'm Mendelev,&quot; says the archer. &quot;I used to run a shooting range here with my brother Dongolev. But we don't talk so much anymore. I haven't seen him in a Jhonka's age. If you ever run into him, telll him I said 'haldo'.&lt;br&gt;&quot;You mean 'hello,'&quot; you ask?&lt;br&gt;&quot;Oh, um. No. Shut up. I said 'haldo' and I meant 'haldo.' Tell him I said 'haldo.'&quot;<br /> || 2D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || wear mask || You slip on the hideous monster maskus.&lt;br&gt;You scared the crap outta Poor Gary! He broke on through to the other side! || 1A<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || haldo || the archer stops arching and turns to you. &quot;My brother told you to tell me haldo? He must want to start the old business back up!&quot; || Hidden glen<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || get arrow || You pick out a really good one and yank it from the tree. Hooray! Now you have an arrow! || Hidden glen<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || get chicken feed || You used to eat this stuff like crazy when you were a kid and your parents weren't watching (which was all too often). You grab several large handfuls. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || the baby lady calls after you, &quot;Hey, you're on some quest right? Well, the little squirt here lost something of mine in the yard the other day. It's yours if you can find it.&quot; || Baby lady cottage<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (first bush) || You reach into the bush to snag some berries but they all just squish in your hand. || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (second bush) || Man, nothing in this bush but squished berries either. || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (third bush) || Too bad you don't want any squished berries, cuz hey: jackpot! || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 2 || get berries (fourth bush) || You reach into the bush to snag you some berries but instead find a Super Trinket! These things are awesome! You have a sneaking suspicion that SOMEONE in this game will need this thing. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || throw chicken feed || You toss the feed into the lake. You shed a tear for each one. &quot;Goodbye, Monty&quot; you sniff. &quot;Bye Delga, Rasputin. Farewell, Combledon!&quot; and so forth.&lt;br&gt;Woah! That crotchety old man just caught a pantload of fish! &quot;Now I can get back to running the inn,&quot; he says and rows to shore and hauls his boat out and cleans, guts, and filets all the fish and a buncha other stuff we didn't animate. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || give super trinket || &quot;That'll work,&quot; says Mendelev. Just hit 3 bullseyes and you win the SuperTime FunBow TM!&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;The ARROW KEYS aim left and right and the SPACE BAR operates the bow. You'll need to press it a couple of times to get a nice shot off but we don't give lessons so you're on your own.&quot; || 2C<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (get [X]=3-5 bullseyes) || &quot;Nice shootin! [X] hits.&quot; Says Mendelev. &quot;Here's your prize!&quot; You got the SuperTime FunBow TM! We don't sell ammo, so you'll have to find your own arrows for it. || 2C<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || shoot Kerrek with bow || Here goes nothin', Kid Icarus&lt;br&gt;ARROWED!! Nice shot. You smote the Kerrek! He lay there stinking.&lt;br&gt;A light rain heralds the washing free of the Kerrek's grip on the land. You're feeling pretty good, though, so the artless symbolism doesn't bug you. || 1B or 4C<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || get belt || You strap the Kerrek's belt buckle around your waist. Oh boy. You sure stink now. || 1B or 4C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || (walk into mud puddle) || Now you've done it! You're covered in sticky, albeit fine smelling, mud. Your &quot;Scalding Lake&quot; T-shirt is all soiled, too. You just washed it last harvest! || 2B<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || jump into hay || You've not known much better than a roll in the hay alone.&lt;br&gt;You leap in the hay like a two years old boy. Uh oh. The hay sticks to your muddy body. You're a walking hay bale! Just like that one guy from that one show! || 2A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (walk to Jhonka's cave) || Hey, nice disguise! The Jhonka doesn't seem to notice you. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 7 || steal riches || Oh OH! A stiff breeze blew all the hay and, surprisingly, the mud off of you! &quot;You take my riches?!&quot; growls the Jhonka. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || No || &quot;Okay. Lemme know if you see riches anywhere,&quot; he grunts and goes back to his hopping. You smooth talker, you. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give riches || &quot;My riches!!&quot; she screams and snatches up every last gold coin. &quot;Thanks, sucker! Here you go!&quot; she shoves the baby into your hands and bolts out the door.&lt;br&gt;You later learn that she does this all the time and is wanted throughout the countryside. Those riches probably WERE the Jhonka's and who knows whose baby that is. Well, it's yours now. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || This place is dead anyway. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || throw baby || Something tells you this is a good idea and you lob the little one into the lake.&lt;br&gt;You won't be arrested after all! The little guy has resurfaced safely, carrying an old bottle of soda. You take the soda and stow your swaddling buddy for takeoff. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || put baby in bucket || Okay, Father of the Year. You put a baby in a bucket and it quickly descends deep into the well. Yours is a black, black heart. || 1C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || turn crank || You haul the bucket back up. Lucky for you, the baby is still in it and appears to be unscathed. As a bonus, it looks like he found a Meatball sub down there. Score! You take the sub.&lt;br&gt;Oh, and the baby. You take the baby. || 1C<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give baby || &quot;Well lookit that little guy!&quot; says the Innkeeper. &quot;You want a treat, do ya? What do babies like?&quot; He fishes around in his pockets.&lt;br&gt;&quot;Um, how bout my medication!&quot; You grab the bottle of pills before he can force them on the baby. &quot;Hey, those were for him!&quot; || inn<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || move rock || You slide the stone over to reveal a little hole. If only you could cut off your arms, legs, and head you might be able to squeeze through! || 4A<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || put baby into the hole || Deploying Q-Baby...&lt;br&gt;Way to go, baby! It got the cottage door opened and headed off to a new life. He becomes Valedictorian of his graduating class, goes to Scalding Lake State, gets a degree in Advanced Peasantry and lands a job at Thatch-Pro: building better cottages for a better tomorrow.&lt;br&gt;You grow apart and the letters from him become fewer and fewer. He develops a severe mead problem and blames you for never being there. || 4A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open drawer || There's a vintage peasant robe in there! Just like grampa used to wear. || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || get robe || Yeah! Get that robe! || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || close drawer || Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint. || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || wear robe || You slip into the vintage robe. It smells like grampa's lap. Now you're lookin like a serious peasant. || anywhere<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || get room || &quot;Okay, youngster,&quot; says the decrepit old person. &quot;Just bed on down for the night and I'm sure I'll remember to collect the fee come morning.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Night falls like a bad power point presentation.&lt;br&gt;What an uncomfortable bed! You sleep for maybe 20 minutes before the extreme pain in your spine forces you to get up.|| Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || get pot || You reach way up to the top shelf.&lt;br&gt;Oh great! Now you can't see a thing and your head is covered in highly flammable horse grease. You better get out of here before that disgusting old man comes back. || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (exiting inn with pot on head) || Phew! You discard the big black pot and wipe the horse grease from your eyes. The hood of your robe is still covered in highly flammable horse grease, though. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || (walking under candle in burninated trees) || Whoa! The horse grease on your robe caught fire! You're a for-real peasant now. || 4E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (exiting 4E) || Man, screens sure get light fast around here. || 1E, 3E, or 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 7 || talk knight || Lookin good, Mr. Peasant. Good luck with ol' Beefy Arm up there.&lt;br&gt;This is it! You can finally get revenge on Trogdor! Nice work so far, stupid!&lt;br&gt;Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter.&lt;br&gt;Disk read error. Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter. || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || climb || With a new determination you dig your fingers into the cliff face and begin to haul yourself up the mountain like you were in a sports drink commercial&lt;br&gt;The mountain starts rumbling and big loose boulders start tumblin down. You'd best avoid thems. || Cliff base<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (successfully climbing the cliff without dying) || Nice jorb climbing the cliff. You have a real way with those arrow keys. || Cliffland heights<br /> |-id=&quot;bribery_route&quot;<br /> | 0 || (approached by first keeper) || Foolish peasant! How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!&lt;br&gt;You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!&lt;br&gt;You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.&lt;br&gt;And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.&lt;br&gt;Unless you happen to have something to eat on ya. Then we could forego my question. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give sandwich || No way! I was just kidding but you've really got a meatball sub. This rules! Here, you can have the Trog-Shield. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (approached by second keeper) || Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!&lt;br&gt;Or we could call it even if I had an ice cold drink right now. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give soda || Sweet deal, peasant. I underestimated you. Wear this Trog-Helmet with style. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (approached by third keeper) || Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!&lt;br&gt;That is, unless you've got something for my lower back. Man, it's killin me! || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give pills || Whoa! Where'd you find this stuff? I don't think this is even legal anymore. These babies'll definitely smote LUMBAGO the, um, LOWER BACKINATOR!!&lt;br&gt;The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (enter Trogdor's cave) || the beaded curtain slams shut behind you. There's no turning back now. || Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 7 || throw sword || This is it! You hurl the Trog-Sword with all your might at the sleeping Burninator.&lt;br&gt;Now you've done it! Trogdor's awake and the Trog-Sword doesn't seem to be doing a whole lot.&lt;br&gt;Your legs lock in fear, your eyes glaze over and you wish for some Depeasant adult undergarments. But you think you hear Trogdor whimpering!&lt;br&gt;Aw crap, that's you whimpering. At least your voice still works, I guess.|| Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 10 || talk trogdor || You scream that your name is Rather Dashing and that Trogdor burninated your cottage and you're here for revenge!&lt;br&gt;&quot;Sup, mortal,&quot; booms Trogdor. &quot;I really appreciate you making the effort to come all the way up here and vanquish me and all. But, I'm kinda indestructible.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Yeah, I can't be killed. I'm surprised nobody mentioned that to you. I'll admit though, you've gotten farther than anybody else ever has. I bet they'll make a statue or something in honor of you somewheres.&lt;br&gt;&quot;I can honestly say it'll be a pleasure and an honor to burninate you, Rather Dashing.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Aw that sure was nice of him!&lt;br&gt;Congratulations! You've won! No one can kill Trogdor but you came closer than anybody ever! Way to go! || Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Peasant's Quest&lt;br&gt;Written by Matt, Jonathan, and Mike || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Programmed by Jonathan || 1E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Graphics by Mike and Matt || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Quality Assurance Types:&lt;br&gt;Neal Stamper,&lt;br&gt;Don Chapman, and John Radle&lt;br&gt;Nice work on winning and everything.&lt;br&gt;THE END || 3B<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==The Three Keepers' Messages==<br /> There are several messages that the game may return while [[Rather Dashing]] is answering questions of [[The Three Keepers of Trogdor]]. The simplest way to complete this part of the game is to bribe the Keepers; the messages returned in this case are listed [[Peasant's Quest Responses#bribery_route|above]]. If Rather Dashing has not acquired the three items necessary to bribe the Keepers, however, he must answer a question from each of them. The messages returned while answering their questions are listed here.<br /> <br /> ===The First Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!&lt;br&gt;You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!&lt;br&gt;You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.&lt;br&gt;And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> ''The First Keeper will ask you one of the following questions (the correct answer is '''highlighted'''):''<br /> :Okay here goes. What did you win from the Archery game?<br /> :A. SuperBow FunTime TM<br /> :'''B. SuperTime FunBow TM'''<br /> :C. SuperFun BowTime TM<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Okay here goes. What does Mendelev have you tell Dongolev?<br /> :'''A. Haldo'''<br /> :B. Hallo<br /> :C. Allo<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Okay here goes. What is the only creature the Jhonka fears?<br /> :A. Poor Gary<br /> :B. The Baby<br /> :'''C. The Kerrek'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;Ah crap! You're right. Here, take this stupid Trog-Shield!&quot;<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> &quot;Sorry peasant! You fail! And as punishment, you will be turned into...RON CUMBERDALE!!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> You ask who the crap Ron Cumberdale is.<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> &quot;Just this kid from 4th grade that I really hated. But he was a BIG LOSER and HE SMELLED!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Well, you not exactly dead. But there's no way you could defeat Trogdor as Ron Cumberdale. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.<br /> <br /> ===The Second Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> :Listen careful now. Which one of these letters is the letter C?<br /> :A. B<br /> :'''B. C'''<br /> :C. A<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Listen careful now. How many berry bushes are there in the whole kingdom of Peasantry?<br /> :A. 4<br /> :'''B. 5'''<br /> :C. 6<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Listen careful now. What was the Innkeeper's pantry full of?<br /> :A. Epsom Salts<br /> :B. Epson Printers<br /> :'''C. Old Man Rub'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;That's right. Oh. This sucks. Guess I have to give you this Trog-Helmet. Dang.&quot;<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> &quot;WRONG! You are hereby cursed to write corny folk songs for the rest of eternity! The kind that only OLD PEOPLE LIKE!!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Well, you not exactly dead. But you certainly can't face Trogdor after writing 'Wheat Grows Sweet, But My Gal's Sweeter'. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.<br /> <br /> ===The Third Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> :Riddle me this. To whom did the robe you're wearing originally belong?<br /> :A. Nobleman Nicholas<br /> :B. Nina Neverawesome<br /> :'''C. Naked Ned'''<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Riddle me this. What color are the leaves on the tree that grows by the well?<br /> :'''A. Orange'''<br /> :B. Green<br /> :C. Yellow<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Riddle me this. Which way does the river that runs through Peasantry flow?<br /> :A. West to East<br /> :B. Northwest to South<br /> :'''C. Northeast to Southwest'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;Uh oh. You got it right. Trogdor's gonna kill me. Okay, you can have the Trog-Sword. Just promise not to kill any Trogdor's with it, kay?&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> You just stare at the Keeper blankly.<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> &quot;Okay fine! You can have the dumb thing anyways. Trogdor's through the beaded curtain over there.&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant.<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> YES! I was hoping you'd get mine wrong. No Trog-Sword for you. In fact, no skin for you either!<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Wow. You sure dead. You had a good run, though. Thanks for playin.<br /> <br /> ''Note: if you fail to provide &quot;A&quot;, &quot;B&quot;, or &quot;C&quot; as an answer to any of the above questions, the Keeper will ask the question again, replacing the first sentence with the following one:'' Peasant fool! Choose A, B, or C!<br /> <br /> ==Area Descriptions==<br /> By typing &quot;look&quot; in an area, you can receive a description of the surrounding area. Sometimes descriptions change as events come to pass.<br /> <br /> *'''Hidden Glen:''' Well, looky here! A hidden glen! You LOVE hidden glens. This one has some kinda archer in it.<br /> **''{after Dongelev leaves}'' You're in a hidden glen. There's a tree with zillions of arrows in it.<br /> *'''Poor Gary's Glen ([[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|A1]]):''' Hey! There's a rotten ol' horse over there!<br /> *'''Kerrek Tracks 1 (B1):''' There are large hoof prints in the grass here.<br /> **''{living Kerrek}'' It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!<br /> **''{dead Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. There is a large Kerrek-shaped mound on the grass.<br /> **''{rotting Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Part of the ground looks just like a rotting &lt;!--no capital--&gt;kerrek.<br /> **''{skeletal Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Looks like someone left their spare bones here.<br /> *'''Old Well (C1):''' There's a really generic well here. Oh, and apparently it's autumn on this screen.<br /> *'''Yellow Tree (D1):''' Rushing river [[b/w]] yellow tree.<br /> *'''Waterfall (E1):''' There's a beautiful, magical waterfall cascading down the cliff side.<br /> *'''That Hay Bale (A2):''' Well, there's that big bale of hay over there.<br /> **''{when in hay disguise, anywhere}'' Right now, you see a bunch of hay.<br /> *'''That Mud Puddle (B2):''' There's a dried out mud puddle. It's all caked and cracked like the kind rock stars are always standing on.<br /> **''{when raining}'' Not much to see. 'Sides that big mud puddle.<br /> *'''Archery Range (C2):''' You've come across some kind of shooting gallery. There's a depressed looking archer at the desk there.<br /> *'''River and Stone (D2):''' Not much to see. River's got a rock in it.<br /> *'''Mountain Pass (E2):''' You've reached the mountain pass that leads to Trogdor's lair. A royal knight blocks the entrance.<br /> *'''Jhonka's Cave (A3):''' There's a little cave with a little door with a little note on it.<br /> **''{before getting riches, after Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.&lt;!--No space--&gt;A fat pile of riches lies next to him.<br /> **''{after the Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.<br /> *'''Your Burninated Cottage (B3):''' The remains of your thatched-roof cottage lie before you. You swear revenge against Trogdor.<br /> *'''Pebble Lake West (C3):''' There's definitely half a lake here with a sandy shore.<br /> *'''Pebble Lake East (D3):''' Why it's half a lake.<br /> **''{when the old man is fishing}'' Why it's half a lake.&lt;!--there's no space--&gt;With a fisherman in it. And he's fishing!<br /> *'''Outside Giant Inn (E3):''' There's a giant Inn here. It takes up, like, the entire screen.<br /> **'''Inside Giant Inn:''' What a dump! Only one bed and no minibar? The Innkeeper stands behind the desk and there's a door that's closed.<br /> **'''Inside Giant Inn:''' ''{at night}'' It's still dark out. The grimey old Innkeeper is gone and he left the pantry open.<br /> *'''Outside Mysterious Cottage: (A4)''' There's a run-of-the-mill non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.<br /> **'''Inside Mysterious Cottage:''' This place could use some serious sprucing of the 'up' variety. There's a dresser over there and a broom kind of silhouetted all mysterious like.<br /> *'''Wavy Tree (B4):''' Nothing special here except for that weird wavy tree.<br /> *'''Kerrek Tracks 2 (C4):''' ''{same as Kerrek Tracks 1}''<br /> *'''Outside Baby Lady Cottage (D4):''' There's a ranch-style thatched roof cottage here. There are also what appear to be four crunch berry bushes but you can't be sure.<br /> **'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. A lady rocks her baby in a chair. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.<br /> **'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' ''{after the baby lady leaves}'' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. There is one of those self-rocking chairs. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.<br /> *'''Burninated Trees (E4):''' A signal lantern of some kind hangs from a burninated tree.<br /> **''{at night}'' A burning signal lantern hangs from a severely burninated tree.<br /> *'''Cliff Base:''' You're at the base of a very climbable cliff that leads to Trogdor's lair. This cliff is huge - the kind where rocks start falling down the minute you try to climb it.<br /> *'''Cliffland Heights:''' Wow! It sure gets creepy fast around here! What with all the lightning and scary cave entrances.<br /> *'''Trogdor's Outer Sanctum:''' There are 3 openings with a little cliff in front of each. A beaded curtain hangs in a doorway on the far wall.<br /> *'''Trogdor's Posh Lair:''' You're in a giant cavern which houses a giant dragon. You didn't shrink or anything.<br /> <br /> ==Other Productive Responses==<br /> ===Constructive Conversations===<br /> There are some helpful residents of [[Peasantry]] who will provide you with tips about how to proceed in the game. While these conversations are not necessary for completion of the game, many are important to the game's storyline.<br /> <br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Character !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (at beginning of game) || You explain your situation to the knight. That Trogdor burninated your cottage and you've sworn revenge. You ask for passage up the mountain to settle your score. (Press RETURN to advance through conversations)&lt;br&gt;&quot;Hang on there, Trogdorkilla,&quot; says the knight. &quot;I can only allow actual peasants up the mountain pass to face Trogdor. And you CLEARLY are not one.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Look, Dragonheart...&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;You don't STINK like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;You don't DRESS like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;And you're definitely not ON FIRE like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Once you're those 3 things, come back and maybe we can talk.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Be sure to LOOK around lots. Talk to everyone you see and ASK ABOUT stuff. Type HELP if you get confused and INVENTORY to see your worldly stuff. Type SAVE or LOAD to save or load your game. Duh.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;belt_only&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt) || &quot;Frankly, Matthew Broderick, you sure stink like a peasant. But you still don't DRESS like a peasant and you're not ON FIRE like a peasant.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;robe_only&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Naked Ned's robe) || &quot;My dear Adso, you are dressed well but you don't STINK and you're not ON FIRE. Let us instead exercise our brains and try to solve this tantalizing conundrum.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;belt_and_robe&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt and Naked Ned's robe) || &quot;Almost there, Dirk the Daring. You stink like a peasant and you dress like one too. But you're clearly still not ON FIRE.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | [[Baby Lady &amp; Her Baby#The Baby Lady|The Baby Lady]] || talk lady || &quot;Hello, I'm-&quot; you start but the lady cuts you off&lt;br&gt;&quot;Okay, here's why I let you in here,&quot; she explains. &quot;My husband got squished by Trogdor. And to make matters worse, the insurance riches I got were stolen by Jhonka. Go steal them back for us and I'll give you something great.&quot; || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || talk man (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || You holler at the old man about Trogdor, but he just grumbles about the fish not biting. &quot;Must be using the wrong bait...&quot; he says, suggestively. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || talk man (after throwing chicken feed in lake) || &quot;If you're interested in staying the night, just type 'get a room.'&quot; || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || get a room (without robe)|| &quot;I only serve peasants here, fancypants!&quot; barks the old guy. &quot;Where's your robe?&quot; || Inside giant inn<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ===Useful Documents===<br /> There are a few notes and documents lying around Peasantry that help Rather Dashing on his quest.<br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Item !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | [[Peasant's Quest Items#map|Map]] || get map || You tuck it nice-like into your short, short pants. Type MAP at nearly any time to check the map. || 3B<br /> |-<br /> | Note on [[Old Man]]'s door || read note (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || It says, &quot;Gone Fishin&quot; just like that grog coozie your cousin got you. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | Note on [[Jhonka]]'s door || read note (before killing [[Kerrek]]) || It says &quot;scared of kerrek. go way. -j&quot; || 3A<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ===Helpful Hints===<br /> At times when you stray from the correct path in the game, the computer will respond with suggestions to help keep you on the right track.<br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! Action !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | After jumping in the haystack, go from 2A to any screen except 3A || Drat. The winds are heavy on all but a couple of key screens... looks like you're no longer in stealth mode. || 1A or 2B<br /> |-<br /> | Type any command while the pot of horse grease is on your head || You need to get out of there before that smelly octogenarian gets back. || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | Type any command other than &quot;Talk&quot; or &quot;Talk Trogdor&quot; after Trogdor wakes up || Trogdor is awake and a couple seconds from a Rather Dashing BBQ. Might as well say your peace with him. || Trogdor's Posh Lair<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==Unproductive Responses==<br /> [[Image:closedrawer.PNG|thumb|300px|&gt; CLOSE DRAWER]]<br /> There are many messages that the game gives you when you input commands that are not essential to the game's storyline. Here is a list of all that have been found. When more than one option is given, such as &quot;get/take _____&quot;, either word will produce the same response.<br /> <br /> <br /> {{compactTOC3}}<br /> {{clear}}<br /> ===#===<br /> <br /> ===A===<br /> *'''&quot;Ask about _____&quot;:'''<br /> **'''Baby:'''<br /> ***(to Baby Lady) - &quot;This little guy's all I got left. If only someone would steal back all our riches from that filthy Jhonka.&quot;<br /> **'''Fire:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Well, whenever I see peasants, they tend to be on fire. So get yourself on fire. I hear horse grease gives a nice, controlled burn.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;You need fire? A couple of trees over by the waterfall used to be on fire. But now there's like a signal lantern over there or something.&quot; / &quot;So should I ask that signal lantern?&quot; you ask. / &quot;I dunno man! Whattaya want from me?&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Trogdor just burned down some idiot peasant's cottage. You should ask him,&quot; says Mendelev. / &quot;Yeah, this jerk goes on vacation to some prancey lake and...&quot; / They see you staring daggers at them and turn bright red. / &quot;Oh. Nevermind,&quot; says Dongolev. &quot;Um, yeah. What's a fire?&quot; adds Mendelev.<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Burninator make fire! Barbecue all peasants!&quot;<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I've always preferred being on fire at night. Looks prettier and keeps the butterflies away.&quot;<br /> **'''Jhonka:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Since the Kerrek showed up, we don't see the Jhonka so much anymore. He lives in that little cave over in west Peasantry.&quot;<br /> ***(to Baby Lady) - &quot;That nasty thing killed my husband and took my riches!!&quot; / &quot;I thought Trogdor killed your husband,&quot; you interject. / &quot;Oh right. Yeah. That's what I said. Trogband killed my husbdor.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;The Kerrek is dead!&quot; he cries and hops around some more. You wonder how someone this primitive could have made that much dough.<br /> **'''Kerrek:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I call him Big Stinky. He's slow and stupid, but he'll pound you into milks meat without a second thought.&quot;<br /> **'''Naked Ned:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;That weirdo used to live over in west Peasantry but now I guess he just prances around the forest in his birthday suit.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;Don't talk about that pervert in front of the baby here.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;That guy creeps us out. In fact, shut up about him.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Filthy naked peasant! Stay away from my cave-hole!&quot; Who's he calling naked? HE'S the one wearing the string bikini.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;He used to be such a nice, clothed young man. Wonder what he's done with all his old clothes?&quot;<br /> **'''robe:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Peasants wear those brown robes. You know, with the rope around the waist. Get yourself one of those.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;You can't have mine, pervert! I'm not a nudist peasant like that weirdo over in west Peasantry!&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;We wouldn't know. We only wear archer clothes. You just can't arch real well in a robe, y'know?&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - ''see naked ned''<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I wear my robe hood-down so it's easier to trim my ear-hairs. If you need a robe, maybe try someone that's not using theirs.&quot;<br /> **'''smell:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I never met a peasant that didn't stink. If you wanna smell bad, get the Kerrek involved. That thing reeks!&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;What smells is junior here's drawers! I gotta quit feeding him so much horse!&quot; / &quot;And don't start asking me for his diapers, sicko!&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;That giant pig running around sure smells bad. Maybe talk to him.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Kerrek smell! Now Kerrek dead!&quot; screeches the Jhonka. So you can infer from this that all smells are dead? You always sucked at the analytical questions.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;Well, if you don't stink, maybe find something that does and wear it. Like a dead carcass or summat.&quot;<br /> **'''trogdor:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;If I had a gold coin for every whining peasant's cottage that freaking dragon burninated, I'd be rich as a jhonka.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;I hope you kill that stupid dragon. My 'Wives of Squished Peasants' support group would bake you a Poor Gary pie if you did.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Oh man, there was this one time when I came THIS close to having Trogdor ARROWED!&quot; says Dongolev. / &quot;Hey, shut up! That was me!&quot; interrupts Mendelev, &quot;YOU almost arrowed that blue baby!&quot; says Dongolev. [sic] / &quot;Did not!&quot; / &quot;Did so!&quot; / &quot;Did not!&quot; / (You see where this is going.)<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;All hail Burninator! Trogdor Number One! Beat Peasant Tech!&quot; says the grimy Jhonka.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;Are you talking about that young green boy that lives up the street? He's always tearing my roof off and eating my customers.&quot;<br /> **'''anything else:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I don't know anything about that, short pants.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;I dunno what you're talking about.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Either we don't know anything about that, or you're real boring.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Jhonka don't know nothing bout that!&quot;<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I don't know nothing about no whatever you just said.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere else) - &quot;Ask about what?&quot;<br /> : &lt;small&gt;* - You can only ask Mendelev and Dongolev when they're together.&lt;/small&gt;<br /> *'''&quot;attack sign&quot;''' (at the Mountain Pass) - &quot;I was being facetious, Mr. Smarty-short-pants. No sign attacking for you.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===B===<br /> *'''&quot;boo&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Scared me.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;break/kick/punch door&quot;''' (at Outside mysterious cottage) - &quot;Violence is not the answer.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;break sign&quot;''' (at Mountain Pass) - ''See &quot;attack sign&quot;''<br /> *'''&quot;break stump, sit on stump, etc.&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Are you THAT bored? Do some questing already!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;buy kerrek a cold one&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;The kerrek&lt;!--sic--&gt; is a teetotaller and is offended by your offer. You've really cheesed him off now.&quot; '''Warning:''' This speeds the Kerrek up, so be careful. This command was first seen in the email [[for kids]].<br /> <br /> ===C===<br /> *'''&quot;[[The Cheat|cheat]]&quot;''' (or any phrase involving &quot;cheat&quot;; anywhere) - &quot;Meh.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;climb _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;cliff&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere near the bottom of the cliff) - &quot;There aren't enough footholds and you don't have any carabeaners on you.&quot;<br /> ***(at the top of the cliff) - &quot;They don't show how the sports-drink people get down from the cliff. You've no idea how to start.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fence&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;No, you have business to attend to here in Peasantry.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;More like you should walk through that gaping hole in it. Just an idea.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Not going to dignify that with a response.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in bucket&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Your butt is too big.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;No go. Your insurance doesn't cover that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but at the wavy tree or hidden glen) - &quot;But then your hands would get all sappy.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Naw, you'd probably figure out some way to kill yourself doing that.&quot;<br /> ***(at the wavy tree) - &quot;You don't climb wavy trees.&quot;<br /> ***(after getting a room in the inn) - &quot;Naw. That's dumb. Do better.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;close _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Already done. That was easy!&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - &quot;You can't. That baby really wrenched it open good.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;'''<br /> ***(without stealing the robe) - &quot;Right, right. Wouldn't want to leave the robes out where any old guy trying to beat an adventure game could take them.&quot;<br /> ***(when it's closed) - &quot;A riddle: What can be closed that is already closed? (hint: not this drawer)&quot;<br /> ***(after getting the robe) - &quot;Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;cut off arms, legs, and head&quot;''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Very funny. You have trouble cutting out coupons in the weekly 'Peasant Penny-Pincher' circular. I'd like to see you try.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===D===<br /> *'''&quot;[[dan]]&quot;''' (or any phrase involving Dan; anywhere): &quot;Dan's still okay. Got a place on Dekalb with Rick and his wife. Slimmed up a bit and looking towards the future.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;dance&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You'd rather just stand here and soak up the scene.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;die&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;That wasn't very smart. You dead.&quot; '''Warning:''' This kills you.<br /> *'''&quot;drink&quot;''' (or any object after &quot;drink&quot;; anywhere) - &quot;For simplicity's sake you are immune to hunger and thirst in this game. So you got that going for you./Which is nice.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;drop baby&quot;'''<br /> **(once you have baby) - &quot;Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm.&quot; '''or''' &quot;Quit tryin to ditch the baby!&quot;<br /> **(before you have baby) - &quot;You don't even have two babies to rub together.&quot;<br /> **(at the well) - &quot;Like where?&quot;<br /> <br /> ===E===<br /> <br /> ===F===<br /> *'''&quot;feed horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen before scaring him) - &quot;There's a good chance that horse has NEVER eaten. I doubt he'll start now.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===G===<br /> *'''&quot;get a room&quot;''' (when on fire) - \oard&lt;!-- Yes, it's really a backslash, not a B. That's why &quot;[sic]&quot; is there. --&gt; [sic] of Peasant Health says I can't serve any folk that's on fire. Nothing personal. Well, I mean, I don't like you much anyway.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;get/take/steal _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;(anything not listed and not relevant to the plot)&quot;''' - &quot;You probably WISH you could get that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;arrow&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the archery range) - &quot;They have 'RANGE' printed on them, so it would be kind of embarrassing to have to shoot around with them. Also, that guy over there is giving you the evil eye.&quot;<br /> ***(at the secret glen while Dongolev is there) - &quot;Something tells me now's not a good time.&quot; (you get the arrow anyway and Dongolev shoots you) &quot;It wasn't a good time. Hey, my mom's making peasant-kabobs for dinner TOO! Right. Anyway. You dead. Thanks for playing, and try not to die.&quot; '''Warning:''' As you can see, this kills you.<br /> ***(at the secret glen after getting the first arrow OR at the secret glen after getting the second arrow after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;You're pretty much all set on the arrow front. They're kinda cool, though.&quot;<br /> ***(at the secret glen after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;You grab yet another arrow from the tree hoping to get some bonus points.&quot;<br /> ***(at Kerrek's body after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;Eww! No way. That thing's got some serious Kerrek-Brand kooties on it now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage, while she has the baby) - &quot;'You want to be a part of this family? GO GET US THOSE RICHES!!' she shrieks.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bell&quot;''' (in the inn, after getting a room) - &quot;You can't. It looks like it's been somehow olded&lt;!-- sic --&gt; to the desk.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (after getting it) - &quot;You totally got the belt already, as evidenced by the rancid cloud of odor that follows you like a shadow.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;berries&quot;'''<br /> ***(the same bush twice outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You already searched that bush. It was okay. Nothing to write home about... oh, wait... you don't have a home. My b.&quot;<br /> ***(after you've gotten the trinket, outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You've searched your fill of berry bushes for this game. If you want to search more press 'reload' on the browser&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake) - &quot;NO MAN! JEEZ!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bone/skull&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff) - Eww. No. Grody. You're grody. No. Eww.<br /> **'''&quot;broom&quot;''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;No, no. The broom is in the foreground and you can't take things from the foreground. You don't see me all typing 'get browser window', do you?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bucket&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;You can't, it's tied to a rope and you're terrible with knots.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;candle&quot;''' (at night, in the inn) - It seems like you should be able to do that, doesn't it? Sorry. No dice.<br /> **'''&quot;chair&quot;''' <br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is there) - &quot;No. There's a big bag of something in it. Oh, that's the baby lady.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is gone) - &quot;No. Too big for pants.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;club&quot;''' (outside the Jhonka's cottage when he's out) - &quot;Now there's a surefire way to get yourself killed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;You get a hernia from lifting it. -2 Movement points, -10 Constitution. Don't do that again.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage after stealing feed) - &quot;You don't need anymore. It might give rise to old temptations.<br /> **'''&quot;fire&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, before getting the horse grease) - &quot;You're just not flammable enough.&quot;<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting the horse grease) - &quot;You don't need to get IT. Just let IT get YOU.&quot;<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting on fire) - &quot;You're already on fire! What? You want to be MORE on fire?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;You nasty. Besides, they wouldn't survive a minute away from that horse's butt.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;gold/money&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Um, that's chicken feed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;grease&quot;''' (inside the inn, at night, when you already got the grease) - &quot;You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.<br /> **'''&quot;hay&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;Who do you think you are? Some kind of Thy Dungeonman? You don't need any hay.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;There's a huge bale a couple of screens over from here. Why bother stealing?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain whether or not he's still alive) - &quot;Well, he does smell real bad. But he's a bit too big to fit in your pocket.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lantern&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;Better not. There's an engraved plaque on it that says, &quot;Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of 'You Die'.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;mud&quot;'''<br /> ***(when it's wet, before you fall in) - &quot;You can't get the mud so much. More like the mud'll get you.&quot;<br /> ***(when it's wet, after you fall in) - &quot;You've already gotten an heapin' helpin' all up on yo'self.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;map&quot;''' (at your cottage, after you've gotten it) - &quot;Yeah but like you already map the took, guy!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;note&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Jhonka's cave) - &quot;It's been magically sealed to the door with a wondrously whimsical spell.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;What is it with you and notes?! No!!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;old man rub&quot;''' (in the inn) - You disgust me.<br /> **'''&quot;paper&quot;''' (in the inn) - Naw, it might be important to that wrinkly old loon.<br /> **'''&quot;painting&quot;''' (in the inn) - Weird. It's actually painted right into the wall. Like, the frame and everything.<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles&quot;'''<br /> ***(after you've gotten them) - &quot;Come now. We've been through this jaunty little bit before. You took them from the half lake screen with the cattail and stuff.&quot;<br /> ***(from the opposite side of where you get the pebbles) &quot;You do your best Mr. Fantastic impression, but you can't reach them from here.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;plague&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - Wrong game, Mispeller Jones. Try the little button to the left of the 'W'.<br /> **'''&quot;plaque&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - You have enough of that on your browning, rotten peasant teeth already.<br /> **'''&quot;pillow&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;Not a chance. There's even more questionable stains on that pillow than there are on that rug.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You don't have anywhere to use it and it is rather bulky, so you leave it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pot&quot;''' (in the inn, after you already have horse grease) - You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.<br /> **'''&quot;robe&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, after you've gotten it) - You still remember the time when you took them. Oh, the times have changed ... but the robes?<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, when the drawer is closed) - You reach into the closed drawer and nearly break your hand slamming it. Just like a bird on a pane of glass minus the blamelessness.<br /> **'''&quot;rock&quot;'''<br /> ***(by the stream) - &quot;For what? Now you're just making up puzzles to solve.&quot;<br /> ***(at the mud puddle) - &quot;That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me.&quot;<br /> ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage, after moving it) - &quot;You've already moved the stone out of the way to reveal a less-than-peasant-sized hole.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rug&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;You're not touching that thing. Too many questionable stains on it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;stuff/food&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Which foodstuffs?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;target&quot;''' (at the archery range) - &quot;No. Those will fall on you and more than likely kill you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;give _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;(anything not listed)&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;We don't need that mess.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere except for the woman's cottage) - &quot;You don't need to give that now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn, before you get the baby) - &quot;You have no baby nor any immediate prospects.&quot;<br /> ***(in the inn, when you already have the pills) - &quot;You already milked that fogey for all the pills he's worth.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;riches&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, before getting the riches) - &quot;'That's right,' she whines. 'Find my riches, and give here.'&quot;<br /> ***(outside Jhonka's cave, before jumping in hay) - &quot;The Jhonka will see you! And rip out your jugular with his teeth or something equally horrible.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, after giving the riches) - &quot;We did that already, and it was sort of humiliating.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trinket&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot; 'Did you find that thing in my yard?' she asks. 'I got that thing free in a box of Plaguezees. I need some FOR REAL riches!' &quot;<br /> ***(inside woman's cottage after giving trinket to Mendelev) &quot; 'Why are you holding your hand out?' she asks. 'I told you I need riches, so I can't give em away.' You don't have a trinket to give, you realize.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;go _____&quot;''' (anything or letter can be put in here) - &quot;Use the arrow keys, pal. Just like a joypad only more like your day job.<br /> <br /> ===H===<br /> *'''&quot;haldo&quot;'''<br /> **(anywhere but in the secret glade, before or after talking to Mendelev) - &quot;That's totally not Dongolev.&quot;<br /> **(in the secret glade before talking to Mendelev) - &quot;What'd you read that in PQ Stragedy [sic] Guide? Go talk to my brother first.&quot;<br /> **(in the secret glade after Dongolev leaves) - &quot;Haldo?.' you call out... 'Hadloooooo' [sic] &quot;<br /> **(at the archery Range after Dongolev has returned) - &quot;HALDO!!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;hide in hay&quot;''' (at the hay bale, before getting in) - &quot;Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;hug tree&quot;''' (at the hay bale) - &quot;To every thing, turn, turn, turn. There is a season, turn, turn, turn.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===I===<br /> <br /> ===J===<br /> *'''&quot;jump in hay&quot;''' (by the hay bale, when you're not muddy) - &quot;Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;jump in hay&quot;''' (near the hay bale, when you're muddy but not right next to it) - &quot;Who do you think you are, MJ? Try from a little closer.&quot;<br /> ===K===<br /> *'''&quot;kick/kill/punch poor gary&quot;'''<br /> **(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;You attempt to cause Poor Gary harm for no good reason other than you kinda suck at this game. {Poor Gary kicks you} WOW! For a decrepit old horse, Poor Gary still packs a mean whallop. You dead. Thanks for playing.&quot; '''Warning:''' Needless to say, this kills you.<br /> **(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;kill _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Those flies and that horse's butt have a symbiotic relationship. You have no right to disrupt that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (after he's outside) - &quot;No way! Jhonka's are born scrappers. He may be little, but he'll crawl ya.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is present and you do not have the bow and arrow) - &quot;With what?! You got no weapons except your butter-knife wit.&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the arrow, but not the bow) - &quot;With what?! You gonna throw that arrow at him?&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the bow, but not the arrow) - &quot;With what?! You got no arrow, fool!&quot;<br /> ***(after the Kerrek is dead) - &quot;Yeah. You smote the Kerrek. You deserve a trophy full of Mutton-ums.&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is not there) - &quot;Good idea. But you kinda need the actual Kerrek to be here for that to work.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;''' (while Trogdor's asleep, in his lair) - &quot;Like how?&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;knock&quot;'''<br /> **(at the woman's cottage) - &quot; 'It's open,' says a female voice from inside. Um, it's NOT open, but you get her drift.&quot;<br /> **(at the woman's cottage, after she leaves) - No one answers. That crazy lady took off. How ever will you get past this closed door now?<br /> **(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - &quot;A gravelly voice inside yells, 'JUST US CHICKENS' '''or:''' 'NO FOR RENT' '''or:''' 'I GIVE LAST YEAR!' '''or:''' 'GAVE AT OFFICE' '''or:''' 'GO WAY!'&quot;<br /> **(at the inn, while it's closed) - &quot;No answer.&quot;<br /> **(at the inn, after it's been opened) - &quot;Just open it, man!&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;You could knock until your knuckles bleed. Nobody's home.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;Knock until knuckles bleed&quot;'''<br /> **(at Naked Ned's cottage)-&quot;You knock for about 4 hours until your knuckles are raw and bloody. That was fun!&quot;<br /> **(type it again at Naked Ned's cottage)-&quot;You done that already. A great time was had by all.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===L===<br /> *'''&quot;light lantern&quot;'''<br /> **(at the burninated trees before it is lit) - &quot;With what? Your red-hot intellect?&quot;<br /> **(at the burninated trees after it is lit) - &quot;Already lit, moron.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;load&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;look _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''(at anything, while hiding inside the bale of hay)''' - &quot;Right now, you see a bunch of hay.&quot;<br /> **'''(at something previously in your inventory but now gone)''' - &quot;You used to have one, before the great item blight of 402. Check your INVENTORY to read about it.&quot; <br /> **'''(at something currently in your inventory)''' - &quot;You've totally got one of those! Check your INVENTORY to give'r a serious looksee.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;arrow&quot;''' (at the hidden glen) - &quot;Somebody call a tree doctor. Them puppies are stuck in there like a, um, er ... stuck pig.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage while she has the baby) - &quot;Peasant babies are pretty freaking adorable. This little guy's no exception.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bed&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Is that just a fitted sheet over a slab of concrete?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bell&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Tis broked.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;Yecch. I wouldn't touch that unless it was, like, an important quest item or something.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;berries&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake) &quot;Shut up.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Crunch berries maybe.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;boat/dinghy&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot;Keep your eyes off my dinghy!&quot; <br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake after he is gone) - &quot;It was loaned out to the [[Fishing Challenge '91|Fishing Challenge videogame]].&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bone/skeleton/skull&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff for the bone and skull and in Trogdor's outer sanctum for the skeleton) - &quot;You can't be sure but you think those are dead person bones.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bush&quot;''' (at the west side of the lake) - &quot;Don't worry about that bush. Yeah, there's red berries on it but never you mind.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bushes&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You suspect they might be crunch berry bushes.&quot;<br /> ***(in the hidden glen) - &quot;There's some thick 'ol bushes up in this hidden glen.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;candle&quot;''' (in the inn after getting a room) - &quot;That candle's not at all on fire.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;cave&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the Jhonka's cave) - &quot;Just a little cave. Calm down.&quot;<br /> ***(at the top of the cliff) - &quot;The cave entrance beckons to you like a hot mutton sandwich might.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;chair&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;One of those self-rocking kind. Not bad for a brown-collar peasant-type. Must be trickle-down in action.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;club/turkey leg&quot;''' (at the Jhonka's cave when he's outside) - &quot;Turkey leg or no, it looks like the Jhonka's been gnawing on it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;cottage&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the yellow tree) - &quot;You see a cottage in the distance. You hold your fingers up to one eye and pretend to squash it.&quot;<br /> ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;A run-of-the-mill, non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You had a cottage once. A lot like this one. *sniff* Trogdor will pay!&quot;<br /> ***(at your burninated cottage) - &quot;All your baubles and trinkets, your flasks and scrolls, your goblets and staffs! BURNINATED!!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;crank&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the well before putting pebbles in the bucket) - &quot;It looks rusted in place.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well after putting pebbles in the bucket) - &quot;That is a bonafide crank. It seems to work now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;curtain/beads&quot;''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;That thing's awesome. You always wanted one for your dorm room but your roommate was a total drag and said no.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;desk&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the archery range) - &quot;It says 'archery' on it. My wife's drunk.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn) - &quot;There's a broken bell and a piece of parchment on there.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;Just a door. A door with a note on it.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;A wicked beaded curtain hangs in the doorway.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Listen to you, &quot;look door&quot; What kinda gaming is that? It's a door and it's closed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Cool Ranch. Your old favorite.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fence&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;A particularly rickety peasant-issue fence. Trogdor uses bits of these as toothpicks.&quot;<br /> ***(by haystack/Jhonka's cottage/Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;A standard peasant fence. Trogdor makes milk's meat outta these things.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Wow! There's a hole in it on THIS side too!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;A cloud of buttflies fly around the horse's butt.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;footprints/tracks&quot;''' (when the Kerrek is present) - &quot;It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;footprints/tracks&quot;''' (when the Kerrek is not present) - &quot;If you weren't a simpleton you might think these were Kerrek prints. But since you are a simpleton, you just go, 'Yay! Piggies!' &quot;<br /> **'''&quot;ground&quot;''' - &quot;Hey, it's your old fireproof map of Peasantry.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;hay&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;It reminds you of a warm, safe place where as a child you'd hide.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Hay is for horses!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;This bag o' bones looks like he's headed for the glue factory. He's got the name 'Poor Gary' branded onto his hide.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in hay&quot;''' (at the hay bale) - &quot;You search and search through the haystack. Nope. No needles.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;It's dark and welly in there. Smell like stank too.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;inn&quot;''' (outside the inn) - &quot;Looks okay from out here. But do they have a free breakfast buffet?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (at the Jhonka's cottage when he's outside) - &quot;The Jhonka is gray and grody. He's got a cromagnon forehead and jaw with a pair of wicked incisors. He sports an old loin-cheese cloth and carries either a big club or one of those roasted turkey legs you got at the Ren Fest.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - &quot;It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!&quot;<br /> ***(while he's decomposing) - &quot;He dead. You didn't think he could have smelled any worse? Well, guess what: He smells worse.&quot;<br /> ***(when he's all bones) - &quot;He dead. He wasn't fat, he was just big boned! Poor pig-man.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;knight/man/dude/guy&quot;''' (at the mountain pass) - &quot;He looks way cooler than you.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lady/woman&quot;''' <br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she's still there) - &quot;Typical pasty peasant woman, overbearing and judgemental&lt;!-- sic --&gt;. Obsessed with goods and land.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, after she's gone) - &quot;I can't believe you thought you had a chance with her!/Dork!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lake&quot;''' (at the fisherman's lake) - &quot;Why it's half a lake.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;lake/water&quot;''' (at the lake with pebbles) - &quot;It extends onto the next screen and has a sandy shore.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;lantern&quot;'''<br /> ***(while unlit; at the burninated trees) - &quot;It's unlit at the moment. That fancy pants royal knight probably lights it on nights when Troggie's on the prowl.&quot;<br /> ***(while lit; at the burninated trees) - &quot;It's lit! Musta been a Trogdor sighting tonight.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lightning&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff) - &quot;Scary. Like Auntie Gerelda's crow's feet.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;man&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;He's an older peasant with big cotton swabs stuffed up his nose. Oh wait. Those are nose hairs. Grody.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;man/guy/peasant/old guy/old man&quot;''' (at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot;An older peasant sits silently in a boat with his line in the water.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;ned&quot;''' (at the wavy tree, when Naked Ned is peeking out) - &quot;A fairly naked man is peeking out behind that tree.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;openings&quot;''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;They're mysterious and out of reach. Like girls were to you in high school.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;painting&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;It's a painting of dogs playing 'Magic: The Nerdening.'&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;paper&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;It says, 'Note to self: Wave arms wildly!'&quot;<br /> ***(at your burninated cottage) - &quot;Hey, it's your old fireproof map to Peasantry.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pillow&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;If you sleep in that bed, you're NOT putting your head on that nasty pillow.&quot;<br /> ***(in the woman's cottage) - &quot;Swedish foam. Your favorite.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pot&quot;''' (in the inn after getting a room) - &quot;It's full of horse grease. I guess that sounds useful.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rock&quot;'''<br /> ***(by the stream) - &quot;The ages have worn this rock down. It is a rock of ages. Still a-rollin.&quot;<br /> ***(at the mud patch) - &quot;That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage after removing it) - &quot;Some jerk removed a loose stone from the back of the cottage.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rug&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Maybe that used to be a magic carpet. But it's sure a cat pee-stained carpet now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;sand&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake) - &quot;One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty two... One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty three... Drat! You lost count again.&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the pebbles) - &quot;Remember those pebbles on the beach? Man, those were good times.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;shelf&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Nothing but a bag of chicken feed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;sign&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the mountain pass) - &quot;What that sign there? That sign says 'Trogdor.'&quot;<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;If you can't read that sign, you need to quit playing this game.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;stump&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated trees) - &quot;NOT a good place to sit.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;You run out of ideas as to what to do next, and stare at the stump.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;target&quot;''' (at the archery range) - &quot;Hey, they had those same targets at Peasant Scout Camp!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated trees) - &quot;Severely burninated. They could probably use some salve.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown!&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Dude, and then the elf, like, totally climbed up it. It was awesome!&quot;<br /> ***(at the wavy tree) - &quot;It's weird and wavy.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well) - &quot;That's one orange tree alright.&quot;<br /> ***(at the yellow tree) - &quot;You're really hurtin' for puzzle solutions, eh?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trees&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You are an incredibly boring person.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Trogdor's lair, while he's asleep) - &quot;Holy crap! Trogdor's way bigger in person than he looks in most tapestries you've seen. All of the sudden, losing your cottage doesn't seem so bad anymore.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's lair, when he's awake) - &quot;Trogdor is looming menacingly over you with a tiny wee sword stuck in his belly. He looks like he's gonna kill you really soon.&quot;<br /> ***(at mountain pass) - I know it's labeled 'Trogdor,' but it's really just a sign, silly. I mean, attack it if you want...<br /> **'''&quot;water&quot;''' (by the stream) - Got a rock in it.<br /> **'''&quot;waterfall&quot;''' (at the waterfall) - &quot;Upon closer inspection, you discover it's not magical. That's just mist, not magic sparkles or anything.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Pretty average. You're not a big well person. You're more into bridges. It does have a cute little bucket though. Your dad liked buckets. Oh, and there's a metal crank too. Meemaw loved cranks.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;window&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;Check it out! There's an INN in there.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn) - &quot;Check it out! There's a Peasantry out there!&quot;<br /> <br /> ===M===<br /> *'''&quot;make friends with kerrek&quot;''' - &quot;Look, it didn't work for Strongbad [sic] and it's not gonna work for you either.&quot; (As seen in [[for kids]])<br /> *'''&quot;map&quot;''' (before you find the map; anywhere) - &quot;We are neither confirming nor denying the presence of a map in this game, but irridisregardless, you don't have one.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===N===<br /> <br /> ===O===<br /> *'''&quot;open _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - &quot;It's locked. With one o' them SCHLAGE deadbolts, too. Those things are hard core.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;How? There's no knob.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - &quot;It's already open. Since this is an adventure game we're gonna proffer you adventure yourself on in there.&quot;<br /> ***(at the inn, while it's closed) - &quot;It's locked fast!&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn, before getting a room) - &quot;'That's the pantry,' says the Innkeeper. 'Employees only.'&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage when it's open) - &quot;Yeah, totally! Except it's already open you moron.&quot;<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage after getting the robe and closing the drawer) - &quot;You already closed it, which was nice, and so we gave you some points. Let sleeping drawers lie.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===P===<br /> *'''&quot;party&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You are part of the Whig party. They are making gangrene-awareness their number one campaign priority.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;pet horse/poor gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Aww, that's sweet. Poor Gary tries in vain to bite your arm off.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;[[pwd]]&quot;''' - Prints on-screen your location as a (fake) directory.<br /> *'''&quot;put _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Where you wanna toss em?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby in well/bucket&quot;''' (at the well, before getting the baby) - &quot;Hmmmm... A baby, eh? You check your sundial. Babies-R-Us is probably closed by now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby in well&quot;'''<br /> ***(after getting the sub) - &quot;Li'l tyke seems to enjoy the ride, but - thin or not - we've got a plot to advance here.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well with the baby) - &quot;Jeez man! At least put the poor little guy in the bucket! Give him a fighting chance!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles&quot;''' - &quot;Where you wanna toss em?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles in bucket&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the well, when you don't have them) - &quot;Find some pebbles first and you might have the makings of a good idea. About time.&quot;<br /> ***(after getting the maskus) - &quot;We've already been through this exercise and it went pretty well, ya?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles in well&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the well, when you have them) - &quot;Then it'd be tough to get them back. You never go ANYWHERE without your rocks&quot;<br /> ***(at the well, when you don't have them) - &quot;Riiight, right. Which ones?&quot;<br /> <br /> ===Q===<br /> *'''&quot;quit&quot;''' - &quot;Well fine Boring Sanders! Hope you saved your game cause it is OVER between us!&quot; '''Warning:''' The game still quits.<br /> <br /> ===R===<br /> *'''&quot;ride horse/poor gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Naw, snapping horse spines just doesn't seem as cool as it did in high school.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;ring bell&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Instead of ringing or dinging, it just goes DUNG.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===S===<br /> *'''&quot;save&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;scare horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before getting the mask) - &quot;You tell Gary the &quot;THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!&quot; one but he doesn't act very scared. He's probably heard it before.&quot; '''or:''' &quot;You tell Gary about how much cholesterol is in hay and how his arteries are probably all black and clogged. He shrugs it off.&quot; '''or:''' &quot;You tell Gary the story about the kid who pops this big zit he has and all these baby spiders come out. It doesn't phase him.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;sit on stump&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Are you THAT bored?! Do some questing already!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;skip stones&quot;''' (at the west side of the lake) - &quot;You've always been terrible at skipping stones. And you're even worse at just plain throwing rocks in lakes. You decide to save yourself the embarrassment.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;sleep&quot;'''<br /> **(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;That's probably how the first baby got here. Forget it.&quot;<br /> **(in the inn while the man is there) - &quot;You probably want to talk to that stinky old guy over there about that.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;smell/sniff&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Smells like a computer game.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;swim&quot;'''<br /> **(at the rock in the river) - &quot;Peasants can't swim. Like, it's illegal.&quot;<br /> **(at the waterfall) - &quot;That waterfall would probably churn you into one of those weight-gain protein smoothies.&quot;<br /> **(at the west side of the lake) - &quot;Not in this game, Swimmer [[Dan]]! In this game, you drown.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===T===<br /> *'''&quot;talk&quot;'''<br /> **(at the archery range, while away from or behind the desk) - &quot;Why don't you saddle up to the front of the table there, cowboy?&quot;<br /> **(at the archery range, after beating the minigame) - &quot;Go away!&quot; says Dongolev. &quot;We're arguing about who's hotter,&quot; adds Mendelev.<br /> **(at wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- &quot;You startled him and he disappears!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;talk ____&quot;'''<br /> **'''(someone not in the screen, inanimate, or nonexistent; anywhere)''' - &quot;It's sad when you have to make up people to talk to.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage, before you get the baby) - &quot;You say some cute, stupid stuff and the baby just blows snot bubbles.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen when he's there) - &quot;Your attempts at conversation are met with horse grunts and tail flaps. Which is better than you do at conversation with most people.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (while inside the hay) - &quot;Not now! You'll blow your cover!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - &quot;Me llamo Julio,' you begin... It seems only to further anger the already temperamental Kerrek. That stupid 'Learn Kerrek in 3 Weeks' cassette did nothing for you!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lady&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage after she's gone) - &quot;You'd call out her name and let it ring through the empty room, enveloping you in sorrow, but you don't actually know her name.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;Naked Ned&quot;''' (at the wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- &quot;'Never speak of this meeting!' says the nudie and he disapperars.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;''' (at the wavy tree) - &quot;Trees can't talk but a breeze picks up and you swear the leaves whisper the words 'Naked Ned.' Weird.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;''' (in Trogdor's lair while he's asleep) - &quot;You yell some choice expletives at Trogdor but he doesn't wake up. There's a cool echo, though.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;well&quot;''' (At the well) &quot;You yell into the well and enjoy the echo. Keep in mind there are no stereos yet.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;this sucks&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;throw _____&quot;'''<br /> **(anything but the feed; at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot; 'That isn't gonna work for bait!' the old man screams, at a needlessly harsh volume.&quot;<br /> **(anything; when the fisherman is gone) - &quot;You already fed the fish. Let's get moving, here, people!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but the west side of the lake) - &quot;Hmmm. Maybe try someplace else.<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake before getting the baby) - &quot;I think you misread the walkthrough on GameFAQs. You gotta get the baby first.&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the soda) - &quot;Baby Dashing is a little waterlogged from the toss, and you read his soft gurgling to mean that there's no more soda left.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere without the baby) - &quot;You don't even have two babies to rub together.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the east side of the lake before getting the feed) - &quot;You have nothing with which to do that...with.&quot;<br /> ***(at the east side of the lake after throwing the feed) - &quot;You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!&quot; (The repetition is probably just a goof.)<br /> *'''&quot;try&quot;''' - (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Okay, fine. You try to cut off your hard-earned extremities. It doesn't work. You dead. Thanks for nothing.&quot; '''Warning:''' You die.<br /> *'''&quot;turn crank&quot;'''<br /> **(at the well, on the other side of the screen) - &quot;You got a short reach to match your short pants. Try standing closer to that crank.&quot;<br /> **(at well, after you get the maskus) - {first time} &quot;Down she goes! You could do this all day!&quot; {second time} &quot;The drama grips you, but the bucket is empty. On the bright side, you're getting a pretty sweet workout for your Deltoidus Rex muscles.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===U===<br /> *'''&quot;use/deploy baby&quot;'''<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, before getting the baby) - &quot;Swell idea, but is you ain't my baby? I.e. you ain't got one?&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, before moving the stone) - &quot;Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm.&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, after the baby has left) - &quot;Li'l P.B. has moved on, and the door seems to be open...I can't see why we'd go through this all over again.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;use pebbles&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;What do you propose to do with them? Discuss.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===V===<br /> <br /> ===W===<br /> *'''&quot;wake up trogdor&quot;''' - &quot;Troggie...&quot;, you murmur. &quot;Troggie, wake up it's time for Burnination school.&quot; He's not budging.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;wear _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (after getting the belt) - &quot;You're already wearing it. Too bad you smell like the trash barge off Peasant Isle.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;mask&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Not on this screen. You've got your image to think about. Actually, you might want to start deliberating on that right now.&quot;<br /> ***(in Poor Gary's glen after scaring him) - &quot;Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;robe&quot;'''<br /> ***(if the robe is not in your inventory) - &quot;You don't have anything but your 'Scalding Lake' t-shirt. And pants. Forgot to mention the pants.&quot;<br /> ***(if you are already wearing the robe) - &quot;You're already in the old skool robe. Represent.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;what the f&amp;mdash;&quot;''' ''([[Swears|uncensored version]])''&lt;!--actually &quot;what the fuck&quot;--&gt; (anywhere) - &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;where&quot;''' (anywhere) - Tells you where you are.<br /> *'''&quot;why&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;I wish I knew.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===X===<br /> <br /> ===Y===<br /> *&quot;'''Yes'''&quot; (to the Jhonka when he asks you about his riches)- &quot;'I KILL YOU!!' screams the Jhonka. ''{The Jhonka clubs you to death}'' Club or turkey leg, the jhonka sure just beat you senseless with whatever he was holding. You dead. Thanks for playing!&quot; '''Warning:''' Obviously, you will die.<br /> <br /> ===Z===<br /> <br /> ===Action Based===<br /> '''Warning:''' All of the below will kill you.<br /> <br /> *'''(Walk too close to the Kerrek)''' - ''{The Kerrek pounds your head into the ground}'' Your mom always told you not to take head poundings from strange Kerreks. And NOW looks what's happened. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Walk in the path of Dongelev's arrows)''' - ''{Dongolev shoots you in the head}'' That guy has no sense. He shot you. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Nice one, William Tell. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Leave the screen after putting the baby in the bucket)''' - Nice try. Ditch the baby at the bottom of the well, eh? Thought you'd be able to just walk away and it's nothing by mead and wenches from now on, huh? Well guess what? You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Hit by rock or pterodactyl when climbing the cliff)''' - ''{You fall to the ground and lie in a heap}'' Oops! You climbed real bad. You knew that you were AVOIDING the rocks, right? Not collecting them. Anyways, nice try. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Walk too close to Trogdor while he's asleep)''' - ''{Trogdor burninates you without waking up}'' Yow. Looks like you got a little too close. You dead. Maybe next time don't get too close.<br /> <br /> {{Peasant's Quest}}<br /> [[Category:Peasant's Quest]] [[Category:Lists]]</div> Mon, 18 Jun 2007 05:55:24 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Talk:Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses <p>GWR 2004:&#32;/* K */ We've got another one.</p> <hr /> <div>[[Image:PQ_look_footprints.png|thumb|300px|&gt; LOOK FOOTPRINTS]]<br /> The [[Peasant's Quest]] game relies on text commands to complete objectives in the game. While there are programmed responses to all of the necessary actions in the game's storyline, the game contains many responses to unproductive commands as well.<br /> <br /> {| border=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;toc&quot;<br /> ! align=&quot;center&quot; | {{int:toc}}<br /> |-<br /> | align=&quot;left&quot; |<br /> *[[#Walkthrough Messages|1 Walkthrough Messages]]<br /> *[[#The Three Keepers' Messages|2 The Three Keepers' Messages]]<br /> **[[#The First Keeper|2.1 The First Keeper]]<br /> **[[#The Second Keeper|2.2 The Second Keeper]]<br /> **[[#The Third Keeper|2.3 The Third Keeper]]<br /> *[[#Area Descriptions|3 Area Descriptions]]<br /> *[[#Other Productive Responses|4 Other Productive Responses]]<br /> **[[#Constructive Conversations|4.1 Constructive Conversations]]<br /> **[[#Useful Documents|4.2 Useful Documents]]<br /> **[[#Helpful Hints|4.3 Helpful Hints]]<br /> *[[#Unproductive Responses|5 Unproductive Responses]]<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==Walkthrough Messages==<br /> {{spoiler}}<br /> The following are the messages displayed while completing the minimal number of tasks to achieve a perfect score. Note that different messages may be displayed for a game completed differently (e.g. if the Three Keepers' questions are answered), and that there are [[#Unproductive Responses|many other messages]] that may be displayed in response to inputs that are not constructive and/or not essential to completion of the game.<br /> <br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Points !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || YOU are Rather Dashing, a humble peasant living in the peasant kingdom of Peasantry.&lt;br&gt;You return home from a vacation on Scalding Lake only to find that TROGDOR THE BURNINATOR has burninated your thatched roof cottage along with all your goods and services.&lt;br&gt;With nothing left to lose, you swear to get revenge on the Wingaling Dragon in the name of burninated peasants everywhere. || 3B<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || You head east towards the mountain atop which TROGDOR lives. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || That's a nice looking lake. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || You can start playing in a second here. || 2D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || Okay, go for it. || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || get pebbles || You grab up a handful of fairly substantial pebbles. You make sure to get an even mix of sedentary, igneous, and, um, sureptitious rocks. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || put rocks in bucket || You plunk all your pebbles into the bucket. The weight causes it to descend to the bottom of the well with a quickness! || 1D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || turn crank || &quot;The crank seems to have loosened and you haul the bucket back up. What's this? Why there's a monster maskus in there! No doubt leftover from some pagan ritual. Silly pagans.&lt;br&gt;You grab up the scary moster maskus. Man, this thing could scare a horse! || 1D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || talk man || &quot;Oh, hi. I'm Mendelev,&quot; says the archer. &quot;I used to run a shooting range here with my brother Dongolev. But we don't talk so much anymore. I haven't seen him in a Jhonka's age. If you ever run into him, telll him I said 'haldo'.&lt;br&gt;&quot;You mean 'hello,'&quot; you ask?&lt;br&gt;&quot;Oh, um. No. Shut up. I said 'haldo' and I meant 'haldo.' Tell him I said 'haldo.'&quot;<br /> || 2D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || wear mask || You slip on the hideous monster maskus.&lt;br&gt;You scared the crap outta Poor Gary! He broke on through to the other side! || 1A<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || haldo || the archer stops arching and turns to you. &quot;My brother told you to tell me haldo? He must want to start the old business back up!&quot; || Hidden glen<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || get arrow || You pick out a really good one and yank it from the tree. Hooray! Now you have an arrow! || Hidden glen<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || get chicken feed || You used to eat this stuff like crazy when you were a kid and your parents weren't watching (which was all too often). You grab several large handfuls. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || the baby lady calls after you, &quot;Hey, you're on some quest right? Well, the little squirt here lost something of mine in the yard the other day. It's yours if you can find it.&quot; || Baby lady cottage<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (first bush) || You reach into the bush to snag some berries but they all just squish in your hand. || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (second bush) || Man, nothing in this bush but squished berries either. || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (third bush) || Too bad you don't want any squished berries, cuz hey: jackpot! || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 2 || get berries (fourth bush) || You reach into the bush to snag you some berries but instead find a Super Trinket! These things are awesome! You have a sneaking suspicion that SOMEONE in this game will need this thing. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || throw chicken feed || You toss the feed into the lake. You shed a tear for each one. &quot;Goodbye, Monty&quot; you sniff. &quot;Bye Delga, Rasputin. Farewell, Combledon!&quot; and so forth.&lt;br&gt;Woah! That crotchety old man just caught a pantload of fish! &quot;Now I can get back to running the inn,&quot; he says and rows to shore and hauls his boat out and cleans, guts, and filets all the fish and a buncha other stuff we didn't animate. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || give super trinket || &quot;That'll work,&quot; says Mendelev. Just hit 3 bullseyes and you win the SuperTime FunBow TM!&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;The ARROW KEYS aim left and right and the SPACE BAR operates the bow. You'll need to press it a couple of times to get a nice shot off but we don't give lessons so you're on your own.&quot; || 2C<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (get [X]=3-5 bullseyes) || &quot;Nice shootin! [X] hits.&quot; Says Mendelev. &quot;Here's your prize!&quot; You got the SuperTime FunBow TM! We don't sell ammo, so you'll have to find your own arrows for it. || 2C<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || shoot Kerrek with bow || Here goes nothin', Kid Icarus&lt;br&gt;ARROWED!! Nice shot. You smote the Kerrek! He lay there stinking.&lt;br&gt;A light rain heralds the washing free of the Kerrek's grip on the land. You're feeling pretty good, though, so the artless symbolism doesn't bug you. || 1B or 4C<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || get belt || You strap the Kerrek's belt buckle around your waist. Oh boy. You sure stink now. || 1B or 4C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || (walk into mud puddle) || Now you've done it! You're covered in sticky, albeit fine smelling, mud. Your &quot;Scalding Lake&quot; T-shirt is all soiled, too. You just washed it last harvest! || 2B<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || jump into hay || You've not known much better than a roll in the hay alone.&lt;br&gt;You leap in the hay like a two years old boy. Uh oh. The hay sticks to your muddy body. You're a walking hay bale! Just like that one guy from that one show! || 2A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (walk to Jhonka's cave) || Hey, nice disguise! The Jhonka doesn't seem to notice you. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 7 || steal riches || Oh OH! A stiff breeze blew all the hay and, surprisingly, the mud off of you! &quot;You take my riches?!&quot; growls the Jhonka. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || No || &quot;Okay. Lemme know if you see riches anywhere,&quot; he grunts and goes back to his hopping. You smooth talker, you. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give riches || &quot;My riches!!&quot; she screams and snatches up every last gold coin. &quot;Thanks, sucker! Here you go!&quot; she shoves the baby into your hands and bolts out the door.&lt;br&gt;You later learn that she does this all the time and is wanted throughout the countryside. Those riches probably WERE the Jhonka's and who knows whose baby that is. Well, it's yours now. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || This place is dead anyway. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || throw baby || Something tells you this is a good idea and you lob the little one into the lake.&lt;br&gt;You won't be arrested after all! The little guy has resurfaced safely, carrying an old bottle of soda. You take the soda and stow your swaddling buddy for takeoff. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || put baby in bucket || Okay, Father of the Year. You put a baby in a bucket and it quickly descends deep into the well. Yours is a black, black heart. || 1C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || turn crank || You haul the bucket back up. Lucky for you, the baby is still in it and appears to be unscathed. As a bonus, it looks like he found a Meatball sub down there. Score! You take the sub.&lt;br&gt;Oh, and the baby. You take the baby. || 1C<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give baby || &quot;Well lookit that little guy!&quot; says the Innkeeper. &quot;You want a treat, do ya? What do babies like?&quot; He fishes around in his pockets.&lt;br&gt;&quot;Um, how bout my medication!&quot; You grab the bottle of pills before he can force them on the baby. &quot;Hey, those were for him!&quot; || inn<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || move rock || You slide the stone over to reveal a little hole. If only you could cut off your arms, legs, and head you might be able to squeeze through! || 4A<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || put baby into the hole || Deploying Q-Baby...&lt;br&gt;Way to go, baby! It got the cottage door opened and headed off to a new life. He becomes Valedictorian of his graduating class, goes to Scalding Lake State, gets a degree in Advanced Peasantry and lands a job at Thatch-Pro: building better cottages for a better tomorrow.&lt;br&gt;You grow apart and the letters from him become fewer and fewer. He develops a severe mead problem and blames you for never being there. || 4A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open drawer || There's a vintage peasant robe in there! Just like grampa used to wear. || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || get robe || Yeah! Get that robe! || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || close drawer || Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint. || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || wear robe || You slip into the vintage robe. It smells like grampa's lap. Now you're lookin like a serious peasant. || anywhere<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || get room || &quot;Okay, youngster,&quot; says the decrepit old person. &quot;Just bed on down for the night and I'm sure I'll remember to collect the fee come morning.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Night falls like a bad power point presentation.&lt;br&gt;What an uncomfortable bed! You sleep for maybe 20 minutes before the extreme pain in your spine forces you to get up.|| Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || get pot || You reach way up to the top shelf.&lt;br&gt;Oh great! Now you can't see a thing and your head is covered in highly flammable horse grease. You better get out of here before that disgusting old man comes back. || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (exiting inn with pot on head) || Phew! You discard the big black pot and wipe the horse grease from your eyes. The hood of your robe is still covered in highly flammable horse grease, though. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || (walking under candle in burninated trees) || Whoa! The horse grease on your robe caught fire! You're a for-real peasant now. || 4E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (exiting 4E) || Man, screens sure get light fast around here. || 1E, 3E, or 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 7 || talk knight || Lookin good, Mr. Peasant. Good luck with ol' Beefy Arm up there.&lt;br&gt;This is it! You can finally get revenge on Trogdor! Nice work so far, stupid!&lt;br&gt;Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter.&lt;br&gt;Disk read error. Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter. || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || climb || With a new determination you dig your fingers into the cliff face and begin to haul yourself up the mountain like you were in a sports drink commercial&lt;br&gt;The mountain starts rumbling and big loose boulders start tumblin down. You'd best avoid thems. || Cliff base<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (successfully climbing the cliff without dying) || Nice jorb climbing the cliff. You have a real way with those arrow keys. || Cliffland heights<br /> |-id=&quot;bribery_route&quot;<br /> | 0 || (approached by first keeper) || Foolish peasant! How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!&lt;br&gt;You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!&lt;br&gt;You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.&lt;br&gt;And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.&lt;br&gt;Unless you happen to have something to eat on ya. Then we could forego my question. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give sandwich || No way! I was just kidding but you've really got a meatball sub. This rules! Here, you can have the Trog-Shield. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (approached by second keeper) || Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!&lt;br&gt;Or we could call it even if I had an ice cold drink right now. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give soda || Sweet deal, peasant. I underestimated you. Wear this Trog-Helmet with style. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (approached by third keeper) || Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!&lt;br&gt;That is, unless you've got something for my lower back. Man, it's killin me! || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give pills || Whoa! Where'd you find this stuff? I don't think this is even legal anymore. These babies'll definitely smote LUMBAGO the, um, LOWER BACKINATOR!!&lt;br&gt;The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (enter Trogdor's cave) || the beaded curtain slams shut behind you. There's no turning back now. || Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 7 || throw sword || This is it! You hurl the Trog-Sword with all your might at the sleeping Burninator.&lt;br&gt;Now you've done it! Trogdor's awake and the Trog-Sword doesn't seem to be doing a whole lot.&lt;br&gt;Your legs lock in fear, your eyes glaze over and you wish for some Depeasant adult undergarments. But you think you hear Trogdor whimpering!&lt;br&gt;Aw crap, that's you whimpering. At least your voice still works, I guess.|| Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 10 || talk trogdor || You scream that your name is Rather Dashing and that Trogdor burninated your cottage and you're here for revenge!&lt;br&gt;&quot;Sup, mortal,&quot; booms Trogdor. &quot;I really appreciate you making the effort to come all the way up here and vanquish me and all. But, I'm kinda indestructible.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Yeah, I can't be killed. I'm surprised nobody mentioned that to you. I'll admit though, you've gotten farther than anybody else ever has. I bet they'll make a statue or something in honor of you somewheres.&lt;br&gt;&quot;I can honestly say it'll be a pleasure and an honor to burninate you, Rather Dashing.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Aw that sure was nice of him!&lt;br&gt;Congratulations! You've won! No one can kill Trogdor but you came closer than anybody ever! Way to go! || Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Peasant's Quest&lt;br&gt;Written by Matt, Jonathan, and Mike || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Programmed by Jonathan || 1E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Graphics by Mike and Matt || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Quality Assurance Types:&lt;br&gt;Neal Stamper,&lt;br&gt;Don Chapman, and John Radle&lt;br&gt;Nice work on winning and everything.&lt;br&gt;THE END || 3B<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==The Three Keepers' Messages==<br /> There are several messages that the game may return while [[Rather Dashing]] is answering questions of [[The Three Keepers of Trogdor]]. The simplest way to complete this part of the game is to bribe the Keepers; the messages returned in this case are listed [[Peasant's Quest Responses#bribery_route|above]]. If Rather Dashing has not acquired the three items necessary to bribe the Keepers, however, he must answer a question from each of them. The messages returned while answering their questions are listed here.<br /> <br /> ===The First Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!&lt;br&gt;You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!&lt;br&gt;You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.&lt;br&gt;And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> ''The First Keeper will ask you one of the following questions (the correct answer is '''highlighted'''):''<br /> :Okay here goes. What did you win from the Archery game?<br /> :A. SuperBow FunTime TM<br /> :'''B. SuperTime FunBow TM'''<br /> :C. SuperFun BowTime TM<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Okay here goes. What does Mendelev have you tell Dongolev?<br /> :'''A. Haldo'''<br /> :B. Hallo<br /> :C. Allo<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Okay here goes. What is the only creature the Jhonka fears?<br /> :A. Poor Gary<br /> :B. The Baby<br /> :'''C. The Kerrek'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;Ah crap! You're right. Here, take this stupid Trog-Shield!&quot;<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> &quot;Sorry peasant! You fail! And as punishment, you will be turned into...RON CUMBERDALE!!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> You ask who the crap Ron Cumberdale is.<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> &quot;Just this kid from 4th grade that I really hated. But he was a BIG LOSER and HE SMELLED!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Well, you not exactly dead. But there's no way you could defeat Trogdor as Ron Cumberdale. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.<br /> <br /> ===The Second Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> :Listen careful now. Which one of these letters is the letter C?<br /> :A. B<br /> :'''B. C'''<br /> :C. A<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Listen careful now. How many berry bushes are there in the whole kingdom of Peasantry?<br /> :A. 4<br /> :'''B. 5'''<br /> :C. 6<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Listen careful now. What was the Innkeeper's pantry full of?<br /> :A. Epsom Salts<br /> :B. Epson Printers<br /> :'''C. Old Man Rub'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;That's right. Oh. This sucks. Guess I have to give you this Trog-Helmet. Dang.&quot;<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> &quot;WRONG! You are hereby cursed to write corny folk songs for the rest of eternity! The kind that only OLD PEOPLE LIKE!!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Well, you not exactly dead. But you certainly can't face Trogdor after writing 'Wheat Grows Sweet, But My Gal's Sweeter'. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.<br /> <br /> ===The Third Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> :Riddle me this. To whom did the robe you're wearing originally belong?<br /> :A. Nobleman Nicholas<br /> :B. Nina Neverawesome<br /> :'''C. Naked Ned'''<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Riddle me this. What color are the leaves on the tree that grows by the well?<br /> :'''A. Orange'''<br /> :B. Green<br /> :C. Yellow<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Riddle me this. Which way does the river that runs through Peasantry flow?<br /> :A. West to East<br /> :B. Northwest to South<br /> :'''C. Northeast to Southwest'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;Uh oh. You got it right. Trogdor's gonna kill me. Okay, you can have the Trog-Sword. Just promise not to kill any Trogdor's with it, kay?&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> You just stare at the Keeper blankly.<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> &quot;Okay fine! You can have the dumb thing anyways. Trogdor's through the beaded curtain over there.&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant.<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> YES! I was hoping you'd get mine wrong. No Trog-Sword for you. In fact, no skin for you either!<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Wow. You sure dead. You had a good run, though. Thanks for playin.<br /> <br /> ''Note: if you fail to provide &quot;A&quot;, &quot;B&quot;, or &quot;C&quot; as an answer to any of the above questions, the Keeper will ask the question again, replacing the first sentence with the following one:'' Peasant fool! Choose A, B, or C!<br /> <br /> ==Area Descriptions==<br /> By typing &quot;look&quot; in an area, you can receive a description of the surrounding area. Sometimes descriptions change as events come to pass.<br /> <br /> *'''Hidden Glen:''' Well, looky here! A hidden glen! You LOVE hidden glens. This one has some kinda archer in it.<br /> **''{after Dongelev leaves}'' You're in a hidden glen. There's a tree with zillions of arrows in it.<br /> *'''Poor Gary's Glen ([[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|A1]]):''' Hey! There's a rotten ol' horse over there!<br /> *'''Kerrek Tracks 1 (B1):''' There are large hoof prints in the grass here.<br /> **''{living Kerrek}'' It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!<br /> **''{dead Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. There is a large Kerrek-shaped mound on the grass.<br /> **''{rotting Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Part of the ground looks just like a rotting &lt;!--no capital--&gt;kerrek.<br /> **''{skeletal Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Looks like someone left their spare bones here.<br /> *'''Old Well (C1):''' There's a really generic well here. Oh, and apparently it's autumn on this screen.<br /> *'''Yellow Tree (D1):''' Rushing river [[b/w]] yellow tree.<br /> *'''Waterfall (E1):''' There's a beautiful, magical waterfall cascading down the cliff side.<br /> *'''That Hay Bale (A2):''' Well, there's that big bale of hay over there.<br /> **''{when in hay disguise, anywhere}'' Right now, you see a bunch of hay.<br /> *'''That Mud Puddle (B2):''' There's a dried out mud puddle. It's all caked and cracked like the kind rock stars are always standing on.<br /> **''{when raining}'' Not much to see. 'Sides that big mud puddle.<br /> *'''Archery Range (C2):''' You've come across some kind of shooting gallery. There's a depressed looking archer at the desk there.<br /> *'''River and Stone (D2):''' Not much to see. River's got a rock in it.<br /> *'''Mountain Pass (E2):''' You've reached the mountain pass that leads to Trogdor's lair. A royal knight blocks the entrance.<br /> *'''Jhonka's Cave (A3):''' There's a little cave with a little door with a little note on it.<br /> **''{before getting riches, after Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.&lt;!--No space--&gt;A fat pile of riches lies next to him.<br /> **''{after the Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.<br /> *'''Your Burninated Cottage (B3):''' The remains of your thatched-roof cottage lie before you. You swear revenge against Trogdor.<br /> *'''Pebble Lake West (C3):''' There's definitely half a lake here with a sandy shore.<br /> *'''Pebble Lake East (D3):''' Why it's half a lake.<br /> **''{when the old man is fishing}'' Why it's half a lake.&lt;!--there's no space--&gt;With a fisherman in it. And he's fishing!<br /> *'''Outside Giant Inn (E3):''' There's a giant Inn here. It takes up, like, the entire screen.<br /> **'''Inside Giant Inn:''' What a dump! Only one bed and no minibar? The Innkeeper stands behind the desk and there's a door that's closed.<br /> **'''Inside Giant Inn:''' ''{at night}'' It's still dark out. The grimey old Innkeeper is gone and he left the pantry open.<br /> *'''Outside Mysterious Cottage: (A4)''' There's a run-of-the-mill non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.<br /> **'''Inside Mysterious Cottage:''' This place could use some serious sprucing of the 'up' variety. There's a dresser over there and a broom kind of silhouetted all mysterious like.<br /> *'''Wavy Tree (B4):''' Nothing special here except for that weird wavy tree.<br /> *'''Kerrek Tracks 2 (C4):''' ''{same as Kerrek Tracks 1}''<br /> *'''Outside Baby Lady Cottage (D4):''' There's a ranch-style thatched roof cottage here. There are also what appear to be four crunch berry bushes but you can't be sure.<br /> **'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. A lady rocks her baby in a chair. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.<br /> **'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' ''{after the baby lady leaves}'' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. There is one of those self-rocking chairs. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.<br /> *'''Burninated Trees (E4):''' A signal lantern of some kind hangs from a burninated tree.<br /> **''{at night}'' A burning signal lantern hangs from a severely burninated tree.<br /> *'''Cliff Base:''' You're at the base of a very climbable cliff that leads to Trogdor's lair. This cliff is huge - the kind where rocks start falling down the minute you try to climb it.<br /> *'''Cliffland Heights:''' Wow! It sure gets creepy fast around here! What with all the lightning and scary cave entrances.<br /> *'''Trogdor's Outer Sanctum:''' There are 3 openings with a little cliff in front of each. A beaded curtain hangs in a doorway on the far wall.<br /> *'''Trogdor's Posh Lair:''' You're in a giant cavern which houses a giant dragon. You didn't shrink or anything.<br /> <br /> ==Other Productive Responses==<br /> ===Constructive Conversations===<br /> There are some helpful residents of [[Peasantry]] who will provide you with tips about how to proceed in the game. While these conversations are not necessary for completion of the game, many are important to the game's storyline.<br /> <br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Character !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (at beginning of game) || You explain your situation to the knight. That Trogdor burninated your cottage and you've sworn revenge. You ask for passage up the mountain to settle your score. (Press RETURN to advance through conversations)&lt;br&gt;&quot;Hang on there, Trogdorkilla,&quot; says the knight. &quot;I can only allow actual peasants up the mountain pass to face Trogdor. And you CLEARLY are not one.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Look, Dragonheart...&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;You don't STINK like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;You don't DRESS like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;And you're definitely not ON FIRE like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Once you're those 3 things, come back and maybe we can talk.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Be sure to LOOK around lots. Talk to everyone you see and ASK ABOUT stuff. Type HELP if you get confused and INVENTORY to see your worldly stuff. Type SAVE or LOAD to save or load your game. Duh.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;belt_only&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt) || &quot;Frankly, Matthew Broderick, you sure stink like a peasant. But you still don't DRESS like a peasant and you're not ON FIRE like a peasant.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;robe_only&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Naked Ned's robe) || &quot;My dear Adso, you are dressed well but you don't STINK and you're not ON FIRE. Let us instead exercise our brains and try to solve this tantalizing conundrum.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;belt_and_robe&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt and Naked Ned's robe) || &quot;Almost there, Dirk the Daring. You stink like a peasant and you dress like one too. But you're clearly still not ON FIRE.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | [[Baby Lady &amp; Her Baby#The Baby Lady|The Baby Lady]] || talk lady || &quot;Hello, I'm-&quot; you start but the lady cuts you off&lt;br&gt;&quot;Okay, here's why I let you in here,&quot; she explains. &quot;My husband got squished by Trogdor. And to make matters worse, the insurance riches I got were stolen by Jhonka. Go steal them back for us and I'll give you something great.&quot; || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || talk man (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || You holler at the old man about Trogdor, but he just grumbles about the fish not biting. &quot;Must be using the wrong bait...&quot; he says, suggestively. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || talk man (after throwing chicken feed in lake) || &quot;If you're interested in staying the night, just type 'get a room.'&quot; || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || get a room (without robe)|| &quot;I only serve peasants here, fancypants!&quot; barks the old guy. &quot;Where's your robe?&quot; || Inside giant inn<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ===Useful Documents===<br /> There are a few notes and documents lying around Peasantry that help Rather Dashing on his quest.<br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Item !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | [[Peasant's Quest Items#map|Map]] || get map || You tuck it nice-like into your short, short pants. Type MAP at nearly any time to check the map. || 3B<br /> |-<br /> | Note on [[Old Man]]'s door || read note (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || It says, &quot;Gone Fishin&quot; just like that grog coozie your cousin got you. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | Note on [[Jhonka]]'s door || read note (before killing [[Kerrek]]) || It says &quot;scared of kerrek. go way. -j&quot; || 3A<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ===Helpful Hints===<br /> At times when you stray from the correct path in the game, the computer will respond with suggestions to help keep you on the right track.<br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! Action !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | After jumping in the haystack, go from 2A to any screen except 3A || Drat. The winds are heavy on all but a couple of key screens... looks like you're no longer in stealth mode. || 1A or 2B<br /> |-<br /> | Type any command while the pot of horse grease is on your head || You need to get out of there before that smelly octogenarian gets back. || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | Type any command other than &quot;Talk&quot; or &quot;Talk Trogdor&quot; after Trogdor wakes up || Trogdor is awake and a couple seconds from a Rather Dashing BBQ. Might as well say your peace with him. || Trogdor's Posh Lair<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==Unproductive Responses==<br /> [[Image:closedrawer.PNG|thumb|300px|&gt; CLOSE DRAWER]]<br /> There are many messages that the game gives you when you input commands that are not essential to the game's storyline. Here is a list of all that have been found. When more than one option is given, such as &quot;get/take _____&quot;, either word will produce the same response.<br /> <br /> <br /> {{compactTOC3}}<br /> {{clear}}<br /> ===#===<br /> <br /> ===A===<br /> *'''&quot;Ask about _____&quot;:'''<br /> **'''Baby:'''<br /> ***(to Baby Lady) - &quot;This little guy's all I got left. If only someone would steal back all our riches from that filthy Jhonka.&quot;<br /> **'''Fire:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Well, whenever I see peasants, they tend to be on fire. So get yourself on fire. I hear horse grease gives a nice, controlled burn.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;You need fire? A couple of trees over by the waterfall used to be on fire. But now there's like a signal lantern over there or something.&quot; / &quot;So should I ask that signal lantern?&quot; you ask. / &quot;I dunno man! Whattaya want from me?&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Trogdor just burned down some idiot peasant's cottage. You should ask him,&quot; says Mendelev. / &quot;Yeah, this jerk goes on vacation to some prancey lake and...&quot; / They see you staring daggers at them and turn bright red. / &quot;Oh. Nevermind,&quot; says Dongolev. &quot;Um, yeah. What's a fire?&quot; adds Mendelev.<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Burninator make fire! Barbecue all peasants!&quot;<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I've always preferred being on fire at night. Looks prettier and keeps the butterflies away.&quot;<br /> **'''Jhonka:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Since the Kerrek showed up, we don't see the Jhonka so much anymore. He lives in that little cave over in west Peasantry.&quot;<br /> ***(to Baby Lady) - &quot;That nasty thing killed my husband and took my riches!!&quot; / &quot;I thought Trogdor killed your husband,&quot; you interject. / &quot;Oh right. Yeah. That's what I said. Trogband killed my husbdor.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;The Kerrek is dead!&quot; he cries and hops around some more. You wonder how someone this primitive could have made that much dough.<br /> **'''Kerrek:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I call him Big Stinky. He's slow and stupid, but he'll pound you into milks meat without a second thought.&quot;<br /> **'''Naked Ned:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;That weirdo used to live over in west Peasantry but now I guess he just prances around the forest in his birthday suit.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;Don't talk about that pervert in front of the baby here.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;That guy creeps us out. In fact, shut up about him.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Filthy naked peasant! Stay away from my cave-hole!&quot; Who's he calling naked? HE'S the one wearing the string bikini.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;He used to be such a nice, clothed young man. Wonder what he's done with all his old clothes?&quot;<br /> **'''robe:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Peasants wear those brown robes. You know, with the rope around the waist. Get yourself one of those.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;You can't have mine, pervert! I'm not a nudist peasant like that weirdo over in west Peasantry!&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;We wouldn't know. We only wear archer clothes. You just can't arch real well in a robe, y'know?&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - ''see naked ned''<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I wear my robe hood-down so it's easier to trim my ear-hairs. If you need a robe, maybe try someone that's not using theirs.&quot;<br /> **'''smell:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I never met a peasant that didn't stink. If you wanna smell bad, get the Kerrek involved. That thing reeks!&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;What smells is junior here's drawers! I gotta quit feeding him so much horse!&quot; / &quot;And don't start asking me for his diapers, sicko!&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;That giant pig running around sure smells bad. Maybe talk to him.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Kerrek smell! Now Kerrek dead!&quot; screeches the Jhonka. So you can infer from this that all smells are dead? You always sucked at the analytical questions.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;Well, if you don't stink, maybe find something that does and wear it. Like a dead carcass or summat.&quot;<br /> **'''trogdor:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;If I had a gold coin for every whining peasant's cottage that freaking dragon burninated, I'd be rich as a jhonka.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;I hope you kill that stupid dragon. My 'Wives of Squished Peasants' support group would bake you a Poor Gary pie if you did.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Oh man, there was this one time when I came THIS close to having Trogdor ARROWED!&quot; says Dongolev. / &quot;Hey, shut up! That was me!&quot; interrupts Mendelev, &quot;YOU almost arrowed that blue baby!&quot; says Dongolev. [sic] / &quot;Did not!&quot; / &quot;Did so!&quot; / &quot;Did not!&quot; / (You see where this is going.)<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;All hail Burninator! Trogdor Number One! Beat Peasant Tech!&quot; says the grimy Jhonka.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;Are you talking about that young green boy that lives up the street? He's always tearing my roof off and eating my customers.&quot;<br /> **'''anything else:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I don't know anything about that, short pants.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;I dunno what you're talking about.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Either we don't know anything about that, or you're real boring.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Jhonka don't know nothing bout that!&quot;<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I don't know nothing about no whatever you just said.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere else) - &quot;Ask about what?&quot;<br /> : &lt;small&gt;* - You can only ask Mendelev and Dongolev when they're together.&lt;/small&gt;<br /> *'''&quot;attack sign&quot;''' (at the Mountain Pass) - &quot;I was being facetious, Mr. Smarty-short-pants. No sign attacking for you.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===B===<br /> *'''&quot;boo&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Scared me.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;break/kick/punch door&quot;''' (at Outside mysterious cottage) - &quot;Violence is not the answer.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;break sign&quot;''' (at Mountain Pass) - ''See &quot;attack sign&quot;''<br /> *'''&quot;break stump, sit on stump, etc.&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Are you THAT bored? Do some questing already!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;buy kerrek a cold one&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;The kerrek&lt;!--sic--&gt; is a teetotaller and is offended by your offer. You've really cheesed him off now.&quot; '''Warning:''' This speeds the Kerrek up, so be careful. This command was first seen in the email [[for kids]].<br /> <br /> ===C===<br /> *'''&quot;[[The Cheat|cheat]]&quot;''' (or any phrase involving &quot;cheat&quot;; anywhere) - &quot;Meh.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;climb _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;cliff&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere near the bottom of the cliff) - &quot;There aren't enough footholds and you don't have any carabeaners on you.&quot;<br /> ***(at the top of the cliff) - &quot;They don't show how the sports-drink people get down from the cliff. You've no idea how to start.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fence&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;No, you have business to attend to here in Peasantry.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;More like you should walk through that gaping hole in it. Just an idea.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Not going to dignify that with a response.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in bucket&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Your butt is too big.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;No go. Your insurance doesn't cover that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but at the wavy tree or hidden glen) - &quot;But then your hands would get all sappy.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Naw, you'd probably figure out some way to kill yourself doing that.&quot;<br /> ***(at the wavy tree) - &quot;You don't climb wavy trees.&quot;<br /> ***(after getting a room in the inn) - &quot;Naw. That's dumb. Do better.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;close _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Already done. That was easy!&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - &quot;You can't. That baby really wrenched it open good.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;'''<br /> ***(without stealing the robe) - &quot;Right, right. Wouldn't want to leave the robes out where any old guy trying to beat an adventure game could take them.&quot;<br /> ***(when it's closed) - &quot;A riddle: What can be closed that is already closed? (hint: not this drawer)&quot;<br /> ***(after getting the robe) - &quot;Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;cut off arms, legs, and head&quot;''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Very funny. You have trouble cutting out coupons in the weekly 'Peasant Penny-Pincher' circular. I'd like to see you try.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===D===<br /> *'''&quot;[[dan]]&quot;''' (or any phrase involving Dan; anywhere): &quot;Dan's still okay. Got a place on Dekalb with Rick and his wife. Slimmed up a bit and looking towards the future.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;dance&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You'd rather just stand here and soak up the scene.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;die&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;That wasn't very smart. You dead.&quot; '''Warning:''' This kills you.<br /> *'''&quot;drink&quot;''' (or any object after &quot;drink&quot;; anywhere) - &quot;For simplicity's sake you are immune to hunger and thirst in this game. So you got that going for you./Which is nice.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;drop baby&quot;'''<br /> **(once you have baby) - &quot;Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm.&quot; '''or''' &quot;Quit tryin to ditch the baby!&quot;<br /> **(before you have baby) - &quot;You don't even have two babies to rub together.&quot;<br /> **(at the well) - &quot;Like where?&quot;<br /> <br /> ===E===<br /> <br /> ===F===<br /> *'''&quot;feed horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen before scaring him) - &quot;There's a good chance that horse has NEVER eaten. I doubt he'll start now.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===G===<br /> *'''&quot;get a room&quot;''' (when on fire) - \oard&lt;!-- Yes, it's really a backslash, not a B. That's why &quot;[sic]&quot; is there. --&gt; [sic] of Peasant Health says I can't serve any folk that's on fire. Nothing personal. Well, I mean, I don't like you much anyway.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;get/take/steal _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;(anything not listed and not relevant to the plot)&quot;''' - &quot;You probably WISH you could get that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;arrow&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the archery range) - &quot;They have 'RANGE' printed on them, so it would be kind of embarrassing to have to shoot around with them. Also, that guy over there is giving you the evil eye.&quot;<br /> ***(at the secret glen while Dongolev is there) - &quot;Something tells me now's not a good time.&quot; (you get the arrow anyway and Dongolev shoots you) &quot;It wasn't a good time. Hey, my mom's making peasant-kabobs for dinner TOO! Right. Anyway. You dead. Thanks for playing, and try not to die.&quot; '''Warning:''' As you can see, this kills you.<br /> ***(at the secret glen after getting the first arrow OR at the secret glen after getting the second arrow after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;You're pretty much all set on the arrow front. They're kinda cool, though.&quot;<br /> ***(at the secret glen after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;You grab yet another arrow from the tree hoping to get some bonus points.&quot;<br /> ***(at Kerrek's body after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;Eww! No way. That thing's got some serious Kerrek-Brand kooties on it now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage, while she has the baby) - &quot;'You want to be a part of this family? GO GET US THOSE RICHES!!' she shrieks.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bell&quot;''' (in the inn, after getting a room) - &quot;You can't. It looks like it's been somehow olded&lt;!-- sic --&gt; to the desk.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (after getting it) - &quot;You totally got the belt already, as evidenced by the rancid cloud of odor that follows you like a shadow.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;berries&quot;'''<br /> ***(the same bush twice outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You already searched that bush. It was okay. Nothing to write home about... oh, wait... you don't have a home. My b.&quot;<br /> ***(after you've gotten the trinket, outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You've searched your fill of berry bushes for this game. If you want to search more press 'reload' on the browser&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake) - &quot;NO MAN! JEEZ!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bone/skull&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff) - Eww. No. Grody. You're grody. No. Eww.<br /> **'''&quot;broom&quot;''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;No, no. The broom is in the foreground and you can't take things from the foreground. You don't see me all typing 'get browser window', do you?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bucket&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;You can't, it's tied to a rope and you're terrible with knots.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;candle&quot;''' (at night, in the inn) - It seems like you should be able to do that, doesn't it? Sorry. No dice.<br /> **'''&quot;chair&quot;''' <br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is there) - &quot;No. There's a big bag of something in it. Oh, that's the baby lady.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is gone) - &quot;No. Too big for pants.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;club&quot;''' (outside the Jhonka's cottage when he's out) - &quot;Now there's a surefire way to get yourself killed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;You get a hernia from lifting it. -2 Movement points, -10 Constitution. Don't do that again.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage after stealing feed) - &quot;You don't need anymore. It might give rise to old temptations.<br /> **'''&quot;fire&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, before getting the horse grease) - &quot;You're just not flammable enough.&quot;<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting the horse grease) - &quot;You don't need to get IT. Just let IT get YOU.&quot;<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting on fire) - &quot;You're already on fire! What? You want to be MORE on fire?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;You nasty. Besides, they wouldn't survive a minute away from that horse's butt.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;gold/money&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Um, that's chicken feed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;grease&quot;''' (inside the inn, at night, when you already got the grease) - &quot;You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.<br /> **'''&quot;hay&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;Who do you think you are? Some kind of Thy Dungeonman? You don't need any hay.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;There's a huge bale a couple of screens over from here. Why bother stealing?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain whether or not he's still alive) - &quot;Well, he does smell real bad. But he's a bit too big to fit in your pocket.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lantern&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;Better not. There's an engraved plaque on it that says, &quot;Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of 'You Die'.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;mud&quot;'''<br /> ***(when it's wet, before you fall in) - &quot;You can't get the mud so much. More like the mud'll get you.&quot;<br /> ***(when it's wet, after you fall in) - &quot;You've already gotten an heapin' helpin' all up on yo'self.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;map&quot;''' (at your cottage, after you've gotten it) - &quot;Yeah but like you already map the took, guy!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;note&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Jhonka's cave) - &quot;It's been magically sealed to the door with a wondrously whimsical spell.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;What is it with you and notes?! No!!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;old man rub&quot;''' (in the inn) - You disgust me.<br /> **'''&quot;paper&quot;''' (in the inn) - Naw, it might be important to that wrinkly old loon.<br /> **'''&quot;painting&quot;''' (in the inn) - Weird. It's actually painted right into the wall. Like, the frame and everything.<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles&quot;'''<br /> ***(after you've gotten them) - &quot;Come now. We've been through this jaunty little bit before. You took them from the half lake screen with the cattail and stuff.&quot;<br /> ***(from the opposite side of where you get the pebbles) &quot;You do your best Mr. Fantastic impression, but you can't reach them from here.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;plague&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - Wrong game, Mispeller Jones. Try the little button to the left of the 'W'.<br /> **'''&quot;plaque&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - You have enough of that on your browning, rotten peasant teeth already.<br /> **'''&quot;pillow&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;Not a chance. There's even more questionable stains on that pillow than there are on that rug.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You don't have anywhere to use it and it is rather bulky, so you leave it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pot&quot;''' (in the inn, after you already have horse grease) - You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.<br /> **'''&quot;robe&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, after you've gotten it) - You still remember the time when you took them. Oh, the times have changed ... but the robes?<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, when the drawer is closed) - You reach into the closed drawer and nearly break your hand slamming it. Just like a bird on a pane of glass minus the blamelessness.<br /> **'''&quot;rock&quot;'''<br /> ***(by the stream) - &quot;For what? Now you're just making up puzzles to solve.&quot;<br /> ***(at the mud puddle) - &quot;That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me.&quot;<br /> ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage, after moving it) - &quot;You've already moved the stone out of the way to reveal a less-than-peasant-sized hole.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rug&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;You're not touching that thing. Too many questionable stains on it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;stuff/food&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Which foodstuffs?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;target&quot;''' (at the archery range) - &quot;No. Those will fall on you and more than likely kill you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;give _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;(anything not listed)&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;We don't need that mess.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere except for the woman's cottage) - &quot;You don't need to give that now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn, before you get the baby) - &quot;You have no baby nor any immediate prospects.&quot;<br /> ***(in the inn, when you already have the pills) - &quot;You already milked that fogey for all the pills he's worth.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;riches&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, before getting the riches) - &quot;'That's right,' she whines. 'Find my riches, and give here.'&quot;<br /> ***(outside Jhonka's cave, before jumping in hay) - &quot;The Jhonka will see you! And rip out your jugular with his teeth or something equally horrible.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, after giving the riches) - &quot;We did that already, and it was sort of humiliating.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trinket&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot; 'Did you find that thing in my yard?' she asks. 'I got that thing free in a box of Plaguezees. I need some FOR REAL riches!' &quot;<br /> ***(inside woman's cottage after giving trinket to Mendelev) &quot; 'Why are you holding your hand out?' she asks. 'I told you I need riches, so I can't give em away.' You don't have a trinket to give, you realize.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;go _____&quot;''' (anything or letter can be put in here) - &quot;Use the arrow keys, pal. Just like a joypad only more like your day job.<br /> <br /> ===H===<br /> *'''&quot;haldo&quot;'''<br /> **(anywhere but in the secret glade, before or after talking to Mendelev) - &quot;That's totally not Dongolev.&quot;<br /> **(in the secret glade before talking to Mendelev) - &quot;What'd you read that in PQ Stragedy [sic] Guide? Go talk to my brother first.&quot;<br /> **(in the secret glade after Dongolev leaves) - &quot;Haldo?.' you call out... 'Hadloooooo' [sic] &quot;<br /> **(at the archery Range after Dongolev has returned) - &quot;HALDO!!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;hide in hay&quot;''' (at the hay bale, before getting in) - &quot;Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;hug tree&quot;''' (at the hay bale) - &quot;To every thing, turn, turn, turn. There is a season, turn, turn, turn.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===I===<br /> <br /> ===J===<br /> *'''&quot;jump in hay&quot;''' (by the hay bale, when you're not muddy) - &quot;Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;jump in hay&quot;''' (near the hay bale, when you're muddy but not right next to it) - &quot;Who do you think you are, MJ? Try from a little closer.&quot;<br /> ===K===<br /> *'''&quot;kick/kill/punch poor gary&quot;'''<br /> **(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;You attempt to cause Poor Gary harm for no good reason other than you kinda suck at this game. {Poor Gary kicks you} WOW! For a decrepit old horse, Poor Gary still packs a mean whallop. You dead. Thanks for playing.&quot; '''Warning:''' Needless to say, this kills you.<br /> **(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;kill _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Those flies and that horse's butt have a symbiotic relationship. You have no right to disrupt that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (after he's outside) - &quot;No way! Jhonka's are born scrappers. He may be little, but he'll crawl ya.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is present and you do not have the bow and arrow) - &quot;With what?! You got no weapons except your butter-knife wit.&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the arrow, but not the bow) - &quot;With what?! You gonna throw that arrow at him?&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the bow, but not the arrow) - &quot;With what?! You got no arrow, fool!&quot;<br /> ***(after the Kerrek is dead) - &quot;Yeah. You smote the Kerrek. You deserve a trophy full of Mutton-ums.&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is not there) - &quot;Good idea. But you kinda need the actual Kerrek to be here for that to work.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;''' (while Trogdor's asleep, in his lair) - &quot;Like how?&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;knock&quot;'''<br /> **(at the woman's cottage) - &quot; 'It's open,' says a female voice from inside. Um, it's NOT open, but you get her drift.&quot;<br /> **(at the woman's cottage, after she leaves) - No one answers. That crazy lady took off. How ever will you get past this closed door now?<br /> **(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - &quot;A gravelly voice inside yells, 'JUST US CHICKENS' '''or:''' 'NO FOR RENT' '''or:''' 'I GIVE LAST YEAR!' '''or:''' 'GAVE AT OFFICE' '''or:''' 'GO WAY!'&quot;<br /> **(at the inn, while it's closed) - &quot;No answer.&quot;<br /> **(at the inn, after it's been opened) - &quot;Just open it, man!&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;You could knock until your knuckles bleed. Nobody's home.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;Knock until knuckles bleed&quot;'''<br /> **(at Naked Ned's cottage)-&quot;You knock for about 4 hours until your knuckles are raw and bloody. That was fun!&quot;<br /> **(type it again at Naked Ned's cottage)-&quot;You done that already. A great time was had by all.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===L===<br /> *'''&quot;light lantern&quot;'''<br /> **(at the burninated trees before it is lit) - &quot;With what? Your red-hot intellect?&quot;<br /> **(at the burninated trees after it is lit) - &quot;Already lit, moron.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;load&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;look _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''(at anything, while hiding inside the bale of hay)''' - &quot;Right now, you see a bunch of hay.&quot;<br /> **'''(at something previously in your inventory but now gone)''' - &quot;You used to have one, before the great item blight of 402. Check your INVENTORY to read about it.&quot; <br /> **'''(at something currently in your inventory)''' - &quot;You've totally got one of those! Check your INVENTORY to give'r a serious looksee.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;arrow&quot;''' (at the hidden glen) - &quot;Somebody call a tree doctor. Them puppies are stuck in there like a, um, er ... stuck pig.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage while she has the baby) - &quot;Peasant babies are pretty freaking adorable. This little guy's no exception.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bed&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Is that just a fitted sheet over a slab of concrete?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bell&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Tis broked.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;Yecch. I wouldn't touch that unless it was, like, an important quest item or something.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;berries&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake) &quot;Shut up.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Crunch berries maybe.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;boat/dinghy&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot;Keep your eyes off my dinghy!&quot; <br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake after he is gone) - &quot;It was loaned out to the [[Fishing Challenge '91|Fishing Challenge videogame]].&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bone/skeleton/skull&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff for the bone and skull and in Trogdor's outer sanctum for the skeleton) - &quot;You can't be sure but you think those are dead person bones.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bush&quot;''' (at the west side of the lake) - &quot;Don't worry about that bush. Yeah, there's red berries on it but never you mind.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bushes&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You suspect they might be crunch berry bushes.&quot;<br /> ***(in the hidden glen) - &quot;There's some thick 'ol bushes up in this hidden glen.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;candle&quot;''' (in the inn after getting a room) - &quot;That candle's not at all on fire.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;cave&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the Jhonka's cave) - &quot;Just a little cave. Calm down.&quot;<br /> ***(at the top of the cliff) - &quot;The cave entrance beckons to you like a hot mutton sandwich might.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;chair&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;One of those self-rocking kind. Not bad for a brown-collar peasant-type. Must be trickle-down in action.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;club/turkey leg&quot;''' (at the Jhonka's cave when he's outside) - &quot;Turkey leg or no, it looks like the Jhonka's been gnawing on it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;cottage&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the yellow tree) - &quot;You see a cottage in the distance. You hold your fingers up to one eye and pretend to squash it.&quot;<br /> ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;A run-of-the-mill, non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You had a cottage once. A lot like this one. *sniff* Trogdor will pay!&quot;<br /> ***(at your burninated cottage) - &quot;All your baubles and trinkets, your flasks and scrolls, your goblets and staffs! BURNINATED!!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;crank&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the well before putting pebbles in the bucket) - &quot;It looks rusted in place.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well after putting pebbles in the bucket) - &quot;That is a bonafide crank. It seems to work now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;curtain/beads&quot;''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;That thing's awesome. You always wanted one for your dorm room but your roommate was a total drag and said no.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;desk&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the archery range) - &quot;It says 'archery' on it. My wife's drunk.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn) - &quot;There's a broken bell and a piece of parchment on there.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;Just a door. A door with a note on it.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;A wicked beaded curtain hangs in the doorway.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Listen to you, &quot;look door&quot; What kinda gaming is that? It's a door and it's closed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Cool Ranch. Your old favorite.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fence&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;A particularly rickety peasant-issue fence. Trogdor uses bits of these as toothpicks.&quot;<br /> ***(by haystack/Jhonka's cottage/Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;A standard peasant fence. Trogdor makes milk's meat outta these things.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Wow! There's a hole in it on THIS side too!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;A cloud of buttflies fly around the horse's butt.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;footprints/tracks&quot;''' (when the Kerrek is present) - &quot;It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;footprints/tracks&quot;''' (when the Kerrek is not present) - &quot;If you weren't a simpleton you might think these were Kerrek prints. But since you are a simpleton, you just go, 'Yay! Piggies!' &quot;<br /> **'''&quot;ground&quot;''' - &quot;Hey, it's your old fireproof map of Peasantry.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;hay&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;It reminds you of a warm, safe place where as a child you'd hide.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Hay is for horses!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;This bag o' bones looks like he's headed for the glue factory. He's got the name 'Poor Gary' branded onto his hide.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in hay&quot;''' (at the hay bale) - &quot;You search and search through the haystack. Nope. No needles.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;It's dark and welly in there. Smell like stank too.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;inn&quot;''' (outside the inn) - &quot;Looks okay from out here. But do they have a free breakfast buffet?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (at the Jhonka's cottage when he's outside) - &quot;The Jhonka is gray and grody. He's got a cromagnon forehead and jaw with a pair of wicked incisors. He sports an old loin-cheese cloth and carries either a big club or one of those roasted turkey legs you got at the Ren Fest.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - &quot;It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!&quot;<br /> ***(while he's decomposing) - &quot;He dead. You didn't think he could have smelled any worse? Well, guess what: He smells worse.&quot;<br /> ***(when he's all bones) - &quot;He dead. He wasn't fat, he was just big boned! Poor pig-man.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;knight/man/dude/guy&quot;''' (at the mountain pass) - &quot;He looks way cooler than you.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lady/woman&quot;''' <br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she's still there) - &quot;Typical pasty peasant woman, overbearing and judgemental&lt;!-- sic --&gt;. Obsessed with goods and land.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, after she's gone) - &quot;I can't believe you thought you had a chance with her!/Dork!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lake&quot;''' (at the fisherman's lake) - &quot;Why it's half a lake.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;lake/water&quot;''' (at the lake with pebbles) - &quot;It extends onto the next screen and has a sandy shore.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;lantern&quot;'''<br /> ***(while unlit; at the burninated trees) - &quot;It's unlit at the moment. That fancy pants royal knight probably lights it on nights when Troggie's on the prowl.&quot;<br /> ***(while lit; at the burninated trees) - &quot;It's lit! Musta been a Trogdor sighting tonight.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lightning&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff) - &quot;Scary. Like Auntie Gerelda's crow's feet.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;man&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;He's an older peasant with big cotton swabs stuffed up his nose. Oh wait. Those are nose hairs. Grody.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;man/guy/peasant/old guy/old man&quot;''' (at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot;An older peasant sits silently in a boat with his line in the water.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;ned&quot;''' (at the wavy tree, when Naked Ned is peeking out) - &quot;A fairly naked man is peeking out behind that tree.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;openings&quot;''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;They're mysterious and out of reach. Like girls were to you in high school.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;painting&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;It's a painting of dogs playing 'Magic: The Nerdening.'&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;paper&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;It says, 'Note to self: Wave arms wildly!'&quot;<br /> ***(at your burninated cottage) - &quot;Hey, it's your old fireproof map to Peasantry.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pillow&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;If you sleep in that bed, you're NOT putting your head on that nasty pillow.&quot;<br /> ***(in the woman's cottage) - &quot;Swedish foam. Your favorite.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pot&quot;''' (in the inn after getting a room) - &quot;It's full of horse grease. I guess that sounds useful.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rock&quot;'''<br /> ***(by the stream) - &quot;The ages have worn this rock down. It is a rock of ages. Still a-rollin.&quot;<br /> ***(at the mud patch) - &quot;That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage after removing it) - &quot;Some jerk removed a loose stone from the back of the cottage.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rug&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Maybe that used to be a magic carpet. But it's sure a cat pee-stained carpet now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;sand&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake) - &quot;One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty two... One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty three... Drat! You lost count again.&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the pebbles) - &quot;Remember those pebbles on the beach? Man, those were good times.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;shelf&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Nothing but a bag of chicken feed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;sign&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the mountain pass) - &quot;What that sign there? That sign says 'Trogdor.'&quot;<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;If you can't read that sign, you need to quit playing this game.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;stump&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated trees) - &quot;NOT a good place to sit.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;You run out of ideas as to what to do next, and stare at the stump.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;target&quot;''' (at the archery range) - &quot;Hey, they had those same targets at Peasant Scout Camp!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated trees) - &quot;Severely burninated. They could probably use some salve.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown!&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Dude, and then the elf, like, totally climbed up it. It was awesome!&quot;<br /> ***(at the wavy tree) - &quot;It's weird and wavy.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well) - &quot;That's one orange tree alright.&quot;<br /> ***(at the yellow tree) - &quot;You're really hurtin' for puzzle solutions, eh?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trees&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You are an incredibly boring person.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Trogdor's lair, while he's asleep) - &quot;Holy crap! Trogdor's way bigger in person than he looks in most tapestries you've seen. All of the sudden, losing your cottage doesn't seem so bad anymore.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's lair, when he's awake) - &quot;Trogdor is looming menacingly over you with a tiny wee sword stuck in his belly. He looks like he's gonna kill you really soon.&quot;<br /> ***(at mountain pass) - I know it's labeled 'Trogdor,' but it's really just a sign, silly. I mean, attack it if you want...<br /> **'''&quot;water&quot;''' (by the stream) - Got a rock in it.<br /> **'''&quot;waterfall&quot;''' (at the waterfall) - &quot;Upon closer inspection, you discover it's not magical. That's just mist, not magic sparkles or anything.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Pretty average. You're not a big well person. You're more into bridges. It does have a cute little bucket though. Your dad liked buckets. Oh, and there's a metal crank too. Meemaw loved cranks.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;window&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;Check it out! There's an INN in there.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn) - &quot;Check it out! There's a Peasantry out there!<br /> <br /> ===M===<br /> *'''&quot;make friends with kerrek&quot;''' - &quot;Look, it didn't work for Strongbad [sic] and it's not gonna work for you either.&quot; (As seen in [[for kids]])<br /> *'''&quot;map&quot;''' (before you find the map; anywhere) - &quot;We are neither confirming nor denying the presence of a map in this game, but irridisregardless, you don't have one.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===N===<br /> <br /> ===O===<br /> *'''&quot;open _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - &quot;It's locked. With one o' them SCHLAGE deadbolts, too. Those things are hard core.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;How? There's no knob.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - &quot;It's already open. Since this is an adventure game we're gonna proffer you adventure yourself on in there.&quot;<br /> ***(at the inn, while it's closed) - &quot;It's locked fast!&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn, before getting a room) - &quot;'That's the pantry,' says the Innkeeper. 'Employees only.'&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage when it's open) - &quot;Yeah, totally! Except it's already open you moron.&quot;<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage after getting the robe and closing the drawer) - &quot;You already closed it, which was nice, and so we gave you some points. Let sleeping drawers lie.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===P===<br /> *'''&quot;party&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You are part of the Whig party. They are making gangrene-awareness their number one campaign priority.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;pet horse/poor gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Aww, that's sweet. Poor Gary tries in vain to bite your arm off.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;[[pwd]]&quot;''' - Prints on-screen your location as a (fake) directory.<br /> *'''&quot;put _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Where you wanna toss em?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby in well/bucket&quot;''' (at the well, before getting the baby) - &quot;Hmmmm... A baby, eh? You check your sundial. Babies-R-Us is probably closed by now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby in well&quot;'''<br /> ***(after getting the sub) - &quot;Li'l tyke seems to enjoy the ride, but - thin or not - we've got a plot to advance here.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well with the baby) - &quot;Jeez man! At least put the poor little guy in the bucket! Give him a fighting chance!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles&quot;''' - &quot;Where you wanna toss em?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles in bucket&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the well, when you don't have them) - &quot;Find some pebbles first and you might have the makings of a good idea. About time.&quot;<br /> ***(after getting the maskus) - &quot;We've already been through this exercise and it went pretty well, ya?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles in well&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the well, when you have them) - &quot;Then it'd be tough to get them back. You never go ANYWHERE without your rocks&quot;<br /> ***(at the well, when you don't have them) - &quot;Riiight, right. Which ones?&quot;<br /> <br /> ===Q===<br /> *'''&quot;quit&quot;''' - &quot;Well fine Boring Sanders! Hope you saved your game cause it is OVER between us!&quot; '''Warning:''' The game still quits.<br /> <br /> ===R===<br /> *'''&quot;ride horse/poor gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Naw, snapping horse spines just doesn't seem as cool as it did in high school.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;ring bell&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Instead of ringing or dinging, it just goes DUNG.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===S===<br /> *'''&quot;save&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;scare horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before getting the mask) - &quot;You tell Gary the &quot;THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!&quot; one but he doesn't act very scared. He's probably heard it before.&quot; '''or:''' &quot;You tell Gary about how much cholesterol is in hay and how his arteries are probably all black and clogged. He shrugs it off.&quot; '''or:''' &quot;You tell Gary the story about the kid who pops this big zit he has and all these baby spiders come out. It doesn't phase him.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;sit on stump&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Are you THAT bored?! Do some questing already!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;skip stones&quot;''' (at the west side of the lake) - &quot;You've always been terrible at skipping stones. And you're even worse at just plain throwing rocks in lakes. You decide to save yourself the embarrassment.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;sleep&quot;'''<br /> **(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;That's probably how the first baby got here. Forget it.&quot;<br /> **(in the inn while the man is there) - &quot;You probably want to talk to that stinky old guy over there about that.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;smell/sniff&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Smells like a computer game.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;swim&quot;'''<br /> **(at the rock in the river) - &quot;Peasants can't swim. Like, it's illegal.&quot;<br /> **(at the waterfall) - &quot;That waterfall would probably churn you into one of those weight-gain protein smoothies.&quot;<br /> **(at the west side of the lake) - &quot;Not in this game, Swimmer [[Dan]]! In this game, you drown.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===T===<br /> *'''&quot;talk&quot;'''<br /> **(at the archery range, while away from or behind the desk) - &quot;Why don't you saddle up to the front of the table there, cowboy?&quot;<br /> **(at the archery range, after beating the minigame) - &quot;Go away!&quot; says Dongolev. &quot;We're arguing about who's hotter,&quot; adds Mendelev.<br /> **(at wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- &quot;You startled him and he disappears!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;talk ____&quot;'''<br /> **'''(someone not in the screen, inanimate, or nonexistent; anywhere)''' - &quot;It's sad when you have to make up people to talk to.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage, before you get the baby) - &quot;You say some cute, stupid stuff and the baby just blows snot bubbles.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen when he's there) - &quot;Your attempts at conversation are met with horse grunts and tail flaps. Which is better than you do at conversation with most people.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (while inside the hay) - &quot;Not now! You'll blow your cover!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - &quot;Me llamo Julio,' you begin... It seems only to further anger the already temperamental Kerrek. That stupid 'Learn Kerrek in 3 Weeks' cassette did nothing for you!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lady&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage after she's gone) - &quot;You'd call out her name and let it ring through the empty room, enveloping you in sorrow, but you don't actually know her name.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;Naked Ned&quot;''' (at the wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- &quot;'Never speak of this meeting!' says the nudie and he disapperars.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;''' (at the wavy tree) - &quot;Trees can't talk but a breeze picks up and you swear the leaves whisper the words 'Naked Ned.' Weird.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;''' (in Trogdor's lair while he's asleep) - &quot;You yell some choice expletives at Trogdor but he doesn't wake up. There's a cool echo, though.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;well&quot;''' (At the well) &quot;You yell into the well and enjoy the echo. Keep in mind there are no stereos yet.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;this sucks&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;throw _____&quot;'''<br /> **(anything but the feed; at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot; 'That isn't gonna work for bait!' the old man screams, at a needlessly harsh volume.&quot;<br /> **(anything; when the fisherman is gone) - &quot;You already fed the fish. Let's get moving, here, people!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but the west side of the lake) - &quot;Hmmm. Maybe try someplace else.<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake before getting the baby) - &quot;I think you misread the walkthrough on GameFAQs. You gotta get the baby first.&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the soda) - &quot;Baby Dashing is a little waterlogged from the toss, and you read his soft gurgling to mean that there's no more soda left.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere without the baby) - &quot;You don't even have two babies to rub together.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the east side of the lake before getting the feed) - &quot;You have nothing with which to do that...with.&quot;<br /> ***(at the east side of the lake after throwing the feed) - &quot;You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!&quot; (The repetition is probably just a goof.)<br /> *'''&quot;try&quot;''' - (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Okay, fine. You try to cut off your hard-earned extremities. It doesn't work. You dead. Thanks for nothing.&quot; '''Warning:''' You die.<br /> *'''&quot;turn crank&quot;'''<br /> **(at the well, on the other side of the screen) - &quot;You got a short reach to match your short pants. Try standing closer to that crank.&quot;<br /> **(at well, after you get the maskus) - {first time} &quot;Down she goes! You could do this all day!&quot; {second time} &quot;The drama grips you, but the bucket is empty. On the bright side, you're getting a pretty sweet workout for your Deltoidus Rex muscles.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===U===<br /> *'''&quot;use/deploy baby&quot;'''<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, before getting the baby) - &quot;Swell idea, but is you ain't my baby? I.e. you ain't got one?&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, before moving the stone) - &quot;Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm.&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, after the baby has left) - &quot;Li'l P.B. has moved on, and the door seems to be open...I can't see why we'd go through this all over again.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;use pebbles&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;What do you propose to do with them? Discuss.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===V===<br /> <br /> ===W===<br /> *'''&quot;wake up trogdor&quot;''' - &quot;Troggie...&quot;, you murmur. &quot;Troggie, wake up it's time for Burnination school.&quot; He's not budging.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;wear _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (after getting the belt) - &quot;You're already wearing it. Too bad you smell like the trash barge off Peasant Isle.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;mask&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Not on this screen. You've got your image to think about. Actually, you might want to start deliberating on that right now.&quot;<br /> ***(in Poor Gary's glen after scaring him) - &quot;Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;robe&quot;'''<br /> ***(if the robe is not in your inventory) - &quot;You don't have anything but your 'Scalding Lake' t-shirt. And pants. Forgot to mention the pants.&quot;<br /> ***(if you are already wearing the robe) - &quot;You're already in the old skool robe. Represent.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;what the f&amp;mdash;&quot;''' ''([[Swears|uncensored version]])''&lt;!--actually &quot;what the fuck&quot;--&gt; (anywhere) - &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;where&quot;''' (anywhere) - Tells you where you are.<br /> *'''&quot;why&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;I wish I knew.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===X===<br /> <br /> ===Y===<br /> *&quot;'''Yes'''&quot; (to the Jhonka when he asks you about his riches)- &quot;'I KILL YOU!!' screams the Jhonka. ''{The Jhonka clubs you to death}'' Club or turkey leg, the jhonka sure just beat you senseless with whatever he was holding. You dead. Thanks for playing!&quot; '''Warning:''' Obviously, you will die.<br /> <br /> ===Z===<br /> <br /> ===Action Based===<br /> '''Warning:''' All of the below will kill you.<br /> <br /> *'''(Walk too close to the Kerrek)''' - ''{The Kerrek pounds your head into the ground}'' Your mom always told you not to take head poundings from strange Kerreks. And NOW looks what's happened. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Walk in the path of Dongelev's arrows)''' - ''{Dongolev shoots you in the head}'' That guy has no sense. He shot you. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Nice one, William Tell. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Leave the screen after putting the baby in the bucket)''' - Nice try. Ditch the baby at the bottom of the well, eh? Thought you'd be able to just walk away and it's nothing by mead and wenches from now on, huh? Well guess what? You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Hit by rock or pterodactyl when climbing the cliff)''' - ''{You fall to the ground and lie in a heap}'' Oops! You climbed real bad. You knew that you were AVOIDING the rocks, right? Not collecting them. Anyways, nice try. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Walk too close to Trogdor while he's asleep)''' - ''{Trogdor burninates you without waking up}'' Yow. Looks like you got a little too close. You dead. Maybe next time don't get too close.<br /> <br /> {{Peasant's Quest}}<br /> [[Category:Peasant's Quest]] [[Category:Lists]]</div> Mon, 18 Jun 2007 05:50:16 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Talk:Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses <p>GWR 2004:&#32;/* F */ another response</p> <hr /> <div>[[Image:PQ_look_footprints.png|thumb|300px|&gt; LOOK FOOTPRINTS]]<br /> The [[Peasant's Quest]] game relies on text commands to complete objectives in the game. While there are programmed responses to all of the necessary actions in the game's storyline, the game contains many responses to unproductive commands as well.<br /> <br /> {| border=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;toc&quot;<br /> ! align=&quot;center&quot; | {{int:toc}}<br /> |-<br /> | align=&quot;left&quot; |<br /> *[[#Walkthrough Messages|1 Walkthrough Messages]]<br /> *[[#The Three Keepers' Messages|2 The Three Keepers' Messages]]<br /> **[[#The First Keeper|2.1 The First Keeper]]<br /> **[[#The Second Keeper|2.2 The Second Keeper]]<br /> **[[#The Third Keeper|2.3 The Third Keeper]]<br /> *[[#Area Descriptions|3 Area Descriptions]]<br /> *[[#Other Productive Responses|4 Other Productive Responses]]<br /> **[[#Constructive Conversations|4.1 Constructive Conversations]]<br /> **[[#Useful Documents|4.2 Useful Documents]]<br /> **[[#Helpful Hints|4.3 Helpful Hints]]<br /> *[[#Unproductive Responses|5 Unproductive Responses]]<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==Walkthrough Messages==<br /> {{spoiler}}<br /> The following are the messages displayed while completing the minimal number of tasks to achieve a perfect score. Note that different messages may be displayed for a game completed differently (e.g. if the Three Keepers' questions are answered), and that there are [[#Unproductive Responses|many other messages]] that may be displayed in response to inputs that are not constructive and/or not essential to completion of the game.<br /> <br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Points !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || YOU are Rather Dashing, a humble peasant living in the peasant kingdom of Peasantry.&lt;br&gt;You return home from a vacation on Scalding Lake only to find that TROGDOR THE BURNINATOR has burninated your thatched roof cottage along with all your goods and services.&lt;br&gt;With nothing left to lose, you swear to get revenge on the Wingaling Dragon in the name of burninated peasants everywhere. || 3B<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || You head east towards the mountain atop which TROGDOR lives. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || That's a nice looking lake. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || You can start playing in a second here. || 2D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (intro) || Okay, go for it. || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || get pebbles || You grab up a handful of fairly substantial pebbles. You make sure to get an even mix of sedentary, igneous, and, um, sureptitious rocks. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || put rocks in bucket || You plunk all your pebbles into the bucket. The weight causes it to descend to the bottom of the well with a quickness! || 1D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || turn crank || &quot;The crank seems to have loosened and you haul the bucket back up. What's this? Why there's a monster maskus in there! No doubt leftover from some pagan ritual. Silly pagans.&lt;br&gt;You grab up the scary moster maskus. Man, this thing could scare a horse! || 1D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || talk man || &quot;Oh, hi. I'm Mendelev,&quot; says the archer. &quot;I used to run a shooting range here with my brother Dongolev. But we don't talk so much anymore. I haven't seen him in a Jhonka's age. If you ever run into him, telll him I said 'haldo'.&lt;br&gt;&quot;You mean 'hello,'&quot; you ask?&lt;br&gt;&quot;Oh, um. No. Shut up. I said 'haldo' and I meant 'haldo.' Tell him I said 'haldo.'&quot;<br /> || 2D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || wear mask || You slip on the hideous monster maskus.&lt;br&gt;You scared the crap outta Poor Gary! He broke on through to the other side! || 1A<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || haldo || the archer stops arching and turns to you. &quot;My brother told you to tell me haldo? He must want to start the old business back up!&quot; || Hidden glen<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || get arrow || You pick out a really good one and yank it from the tree. Hooray! Now you have an arrow! || Hidden glen<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || get chicken feed || You used to eat this stuff like crazy when you were a kid and your parents weren't watching (which was all too often). You grab several large handfuls. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || the baby lady calls after you, &quot;Hey, you're on some quest right? Well, the little squirt here lost something of mine in the yard the other day. It's yours if you can find it.&quot; || Baby lady cottage<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (first bush) || You reach into the bush to snag some berries but they all just squish in your hand. || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (second bush) || Man, nothing in this bush but squished berries either. || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 0 || get berries (third bush) || Too bad you don't want any squished berries, cuz hey: jackpot! || 4D<br /> |- <br /> | 2 || get berries (fourth bush) || You reach into the bush to snag you some berries but instead find a Super Trinket! These things are awesome! You have a sneaking suspicion that SOMEONE in this game will need this thing. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || throw chicken feed || You toss the feed into the lake. You shed a tear for each one. &quot;Goodbye, Monty&quot; you sniff. &quot;Bye Delga, Rasputin. Farewell, Combledon!&quot; and so forth.&lt;br&gt;Woah! That crotchety old man just caught a pantload of fish! &quot;Now I can get back to running the inn,&quot; he says and rows to shore and hauls his boat out and cleans, guts, and filets all the fish and a buncha other stuff we didn't animate. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || give super trinket || &quot;That'll work,&quot; says Mendelev. Just hit 3 bullseyes and you win the SuperTime FunBow TM!&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;The ARROW KEYS aim left and right and the SPACE BAR operates the bow. You'll need to press it a couple of times to get a nice shot off but we don't give lessons so you're on your own.&quot; || 2C<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (get [X]=3-5 bullseyes) || &quot;Nice shootin! [X] hits.&quot; Says Mendelev. &quot;Here's your prize!&quot; You got the SuperTime FunBow TM! We don't sell ammo, so you'll have to find your own arrows for it. || 2C<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || shoot Kerrek with bow || Here goes nothin', Kid Icarus&lt;br&gt;ARROWED!! Nice shot. You smote the Kerrek! He lay there stinking.&lt;br&gt;A light rain heralds the washing free of the Kerrek's grip on the land. You're feeling pretty good, though, so the artless symbolism doesn't bug you. || 1B or 4C<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || get belt || You strap the Kerrek's belt buckle around your waist. Oh boy. You sure stink now. || 1B or 4C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || (walk into mud puddle) || Now you've done it! You're covered in sticky, albeit fine smelling, mud. Your &quot;Scalding Lake&quot; T-shirt is all soiled, too. You just washed it last harvest! || 2B<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || jump into hay || You've not known much better than a roll in the hay alone.&lt;br&gt;You leap in the hay like a two years old boy. Uh oh. The hay sticks to your muddy body. You're a walking hay bale! Just like that one guy from that one show! || 2A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (walk to Jhonka's cave) || Hey, nice disguise! The Jhonka doesn't seem to notice you. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 7 || steal riches || Oh OH! A stiff breeze blew all the hay and, surprisingly, the mud off of you! &quot;You take my riches?!&quot; growls the Jhonka. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || No || &quot;Okay. Lemme know if you see riches anywhere,&quot; he grunts and goes back to his hopping. You smooth talker, you. || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open er up and head on in. || 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give riches || &quot;My riches!!&quot; she screams and snatches up every last gold coin. &quot;Thanks, sucker! Here you go!&quot; she shoves the baby into your hands and bolts out the door.&lt;br&gt;You later learn that she does this all the time and is wanted throughout the countryside. Those riches probably WERE the Jhonka's and who knows whose baby that is. Well, it's yours now. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (on leaving baby lady cottage) || This place is dead anyway. || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || throw baby || Something tells you this is a good idea and you lob the little one into the lake.&lt;br&gt;You won't be arrested after all! The little guy has resurfaced safely, carrying an old bottle of soda. You take the soda and stow your swaddling buddy for takeoff. || 3C<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || put baby in bucket || Okay, Father of the Year. You put a baby in a bucket and it quickly descends deep into the well. Yours is a black, black heart. || 1C<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || turn crank || You haul the bucket back up. Lucky for you, the baby is still in it and appears to be unscathed. As a bonus, it looks like he found a Meatball sub down there. Score! You take the sub.&lt;br&gt;Oh, and the baby. You take the baby. || 1C<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give baby || &quot;Well lookit that little guy!&quot; says the Innkeeper. &quot;You want a treat, do ya? What do babies like?&quot; He fishes around in his pockets.&lt;br&gt;&quot;Um, how bout my medication!&quot; You grab the bottle of pills before he can force them on the baby. &quot;Hey, those were for him!&quot; || inn<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || move rock || You slide the stone over to reveal a little hole. If only you could cut off your arms, legs, and head you might be able to squeeze through! || 4A<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || put baby into the hole || Deploying Q-Baby...&lt;br&gt;Way to go, baby! It got the cottage door opened and headed off to a new life. He becomes Valedictorian of his graduating class, goes to Scalding Lake State, gets a degree in Advanced Peasantry and lands a job at Thatch-Pro: building better cottages for a better tomorrow.&lt;br&gt;You grow apart and the letters from him become fewer and fewer. He develops a severe mead problem and blames you for never being there. || 4A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open drawer || There's a vintage peasant robe in there! Just like grampa used to wear. || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || get robe || Yeah! Get that robe! || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 1 || close drawer || Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint. || Mysterious cottage<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || wear robe || You slip into the vintage robe. It smells like grampa's lap. Now you're lookin like a serious peasant. || anywhere<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || open door || You open the door and step inside the inn. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || get room || &quot;Okay, youngster,&quot; says the decrepit old person. &quot;Just bed on down for the night and I'm sure I'll remember to collect the fee come morning.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Night falls like a bad power point presentation.&lt;br&gt;What an uncomfortable bed! You sleep for maybe 20 minutes before the extreme pain in your spine forces you to get up.|| Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | 2 || get pot || You reach way up to the top shelf.&lt;br&gt;Oh great! Now you can't see a thing and your head is covered in highly flammable horse grease. You better get out of here before that disgusting old man comes back. || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (exiting inn with pot on head) || Phew! You discard the big black pot and wipe the horse grease from your eyes. The hood of your robe is still covered in highly flammable horse grease, though. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | 10 || (walking under candle in burninated trees) || Whoa! The horse grease on your robe caught fire! You're a for-real peasant now. || 4E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (exiting 4E) || Man, screens sure get light fast around here. || 1E, 3E, or 4D<br /> |-<br /> | 7 || talk knight || Lookin good, Mr. Peasant. Good luck with ol' Beefy Arm up there.&lt;br&gt;This is it! You can finally get revenge on Trogdor! Nice work so far, stupid!&lt;br&gt;Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter.&lt;br&gt;Disk read error. Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter. || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || climb || With a new determination you dig your fingers into the cliff face and begin to haul yourself up the mountain like you were in a sports drink commercial&lt;br&gt;The mountain starts rumbling and big loose boulders start tumblin down. You'd best avoid thems. || Cliff base<br /> |-<br /> | 3 || (successfully climbing the cliff without dying) || Nice jorb climbing the cliff. You have a real way with those arrow keys. || Cliffland heights<br /> |-id=&quot;bribery_route&quot;<br /> | 0 || (approached by first keeper) || Foolish peasant! How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!&lt;br&gt;You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!&lt;br&gt;You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.&lt;br&gt;And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.&lt;br&gt;Unless you happen to have something to eat on ya. Then we could forego my question. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give sandwich || No way! I was just kidding but you've really got a meatball sub. This rules! Here, you can have the Trog-Shield. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (approached by second keeper) || Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!&lt;br&gt;Or we could call it even if I had an ice cold drink right now. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give soda || Sweet deal, peasant. I underestimated you. Wear this Trog-Helmet with style. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (approached by third keeper) || Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!&lt;br&gt;That is, unless you've got something for my lower back. Man, it's killin me! || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 5 || give pills || Whoa! Where'd you find this stuff? I don't think this is even legal anymore. These babies'll definitely smote LUMBAGO the, um, LOWER BACKINATOR!!&lt;br&gt;The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant. || Trogdor's outer sanctum<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (enter Trogdor's cave) || the beaded curtain slams shut behind you. There's no turning back now. || Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 7 || throw sword || This is it! You hurl the Trog-Sword with all your might at the sleeping Burninator.&lt;br&gt;Now you've done it! Trogdor's awake and the Trog-Sword doesn't seem to be doing a whole lot.&lt;br&gt;Your legs lock in fear, your eyes glaze over and you wish for some Depeasant adult undergarments. But you think you hear Trogdor whimpering!&lt;br&gt;Aw crap, that's you whimpering. At least your voice still works, I guess.|| Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 10 || talk trogdor || You scream that your name is Rather Dashing and that Trogdor burninated your cottage and you're here for revenge!&lt;br&gt;&quot;Sup, mortal,&quot; booms Trogdor. &quot;I really appreciate you making the effort to come all the way up here and vanquish me and all. But, I'm kinda indestructible.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Yeah, I can't be killed. I'm surprised nobody mentioned that to you. I'll admit though, you've gotten farther than anybody else ever has. I bet they'll make a statue or something in honor of you somewheres.&lt;br&gt;&quot;I can honestly say it'll be a pleasure and an honor to burninate you, Rather Dashing.&quot;&lt;br&gt;Aw that sure was nice of him!&lt;br&gt;Congratulations! You've won! No one can kill Trogdor but you came closer than anybody ever! Way to go! || Trogdor's posh lair <br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Peasant's Quest&lt;br&gt;Written by Matt, Jonathan, and Mike || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Programmed by Jonathan || 1E<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Graphics by Mike and Matt || 3A<br /> |-<br /> | 0 || (credits) || Quality Assurance Types:&lt;br&gt;Neal Stamper,&lt;br&gt;Don Chapman, and John Radle&lt;br&gt;Nice work on winning and everything.&lt;br&gt;THE END || 3B<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==The Three Keepers' Messages==<br /> There are several messages that the game may return while [[Rather Dashing]] is answering questions of [[The Three Keepers of Trogdor]]. The simplest way to complete this part of the game is to bribe the Keepers; the messages returned in this case are listed [[Peasant's Quest Responses#bribery_route|above]]. If Rather Dashing has not acquired the three items necessary to bribe the Keepers, however, he must answer a question from each of them. The messages returned while answering their questions are listed here.<br /> <br /> ===The First Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!&lt;br&gt;You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!&lt;br&gt;You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.&lt;br&gt;And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> ''The First Keeper will ask you one of the following questions (the correct answer is '''highlighted'''):''<br /> :Okay here goes. What did you win from the Archery game?<br /> :A. SuperBow FunTime TM<br /> :'''B. SuperTime FunBow TM'''<br /> :C. SuperFun BowTime TM<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Okay here goes. What does Mendelev have you tell Dongolev?<br /> :'''A. Haldo'''<br /> :B. Hallo<br /> :C. Allo<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Okay here goes. What is the only creature the Jhonka fears?<br /> :A. Poor Gary<br /> :B. The Baby<br /> :'''C. The Kerrek'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;Ah crap! You're right. Here, take this stupid Trog-Shield!&quot;<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> &quot;Sorry peasant! You fail! And as punishment, you will be turned into...RON CUMBERDALE!!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> You ask who the crap Ron Cumberdale is.<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> &quot;Just this kid from 4th grade that I really hated. But he was a BIG LOSER and HE SMELLED!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Well, you not exactly dead. But there's no way you could defeat Trogdor as Ron Cumberdale. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.<br /> <br /> ===The Second Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> :Listen careful now. Which one of these letters is the letter C?<br /> :A. B<br /> :'''B. C'''<br /> :C. A<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Listen careful now. How many berry bushes are there in the whole kingdom of Peasantry?<br /> :A. 4<br /> :'''B. 5'''<br /> :C. 6<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Listen careful now. What was the Innkeeper's pantry full of?<br /> :A. Epsom Salts<br /> :B. Epson Printers<br /> :'''C. Old Man Rub'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;That's right. Oh. This sucks. Guess I have to give you this Trog-Helmet. Dang.&quot;<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> &quot;WRONG! You are hereby cursed to write corny folk songs for the rest of eternity! The kind that only OLD PEOPLE LIKE!!&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Well, you not exactly dead. But you certainly can't face Trogdor after writing 'Wheat Grows Sweet, But My Gal's Sweeter'. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.<br /> <br /> ===The Third Keeper===<br /> ====Introductory Message====<br /> Think you're pretty hot stuff, eh? Let's see you answer the deadly and pretty impossible THIRD TROG-TRIVIA QUESTION!<br /> ====Possible Questions====<br /> :Riddle me this. To whom did the robe you're wearing originally belong?<br /> :A. Nobleman Nicholas<br /> :B. Nina Neverawesome<br /> :'''C. Naked Ned'''<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Riddle me this. What color are the leaves on the tree that grows by the well?<br /> :'''A. Orange'''<br /> :B. Green<br /> :C. Yellow<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> :Riddle me this. Which way does the river that runs through Peasantry flow?<br /> :A. West to East<br /> :B. Northwest to South<br /> :'''C. Northeast to Southwest'''<br /> ====Response to Correct Answer====<br /> &quot;Uh oh. You got it right. Trogdor's gonna kill me. Okay, you can have the Trog-Sword. Just promise not to kill any Trogdor's with it, kay?&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> You just stare at the Keeper blankly.<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> &quot;Okay fine! You can have the dumb thing anyways. Trogdor's through the beaded curtain over there.&quot;<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant.<br /> ====Response to Incorrect Answer====<br /> YES! I was hoping you'd get mine wrong. No Trog-Sword for you. In fact, no skin for you either!<br /> &lt;br&gt;<br /> Wow. You sure dead. You had a good run, though. Thanks for playin.<br /> <br /> ''Note: if you fail to provide &quot;A&quot;, &quot;B&quot;, or &quot;C&quot; as an answer to any of the above questions, the Keeper will ask the question again, replacing the first sentence with the following one:'' Peasant fool! Choose A, B, or C!<br /> <br /> ==Area Descriptions==<br /> By typing &quot;look&quot; in an area, you can receive a description of the surrounding area. Sometimes descriptions change as events come to pass.<br /> <br /> *'''Hidden Glen:''' Well, looky here! A hidden glen! You LOVE hidden glens. This one has some kinda archer in it.<br /> **''{after Dongelev leaves}'' You're in a hidden glen. There's a tree with zillions of arrows in it.<br /> *'''Poor Gary's Glen ([[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|A1]]):''' Hey! There's a rotten ol' horse over there!<br /> *'''Kerrek Tracks 1 (B1):''' There are large hoof prints in the grass here.<br /> **''{living Kerrek}'' It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!<br /> **''{dead Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. There is a large Kerrek-shaped mound on the grass.<br /> **''{rotting Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Part of the ground looks just like a rotting &lt;!--no capital--&gt;kerrek.<br /> **''{skeletal Kerrek}'' There are large hoof prints in the grass here. Looks like someone left their spare bones here.<br /> *'''Old Well (C1):''' There's a really generic well here. Oh, and apparently it's autumn on this screen.<br /> *'''Yellow Tree (D1):''' Rushing river [[b/w]] yellow tree.<br /> *'''Waterfall (E1):''' There's a beautiful, magical waterfall cascading down the cliff side.<br /> *'''That Hay Bale (A2):''' Well, there's that big bale of hay over there.<br /> **''{when in hay disguise, anywhere}'' Right now, you see a bunch of hay.<br /> *'''That Mud Puddle (B2):''' There's a dried out mud puddle. It's all caked and cracked like the kind rock stars are always standing on.<br /> **''{when raining}'' Not much to see. 'Sides that big mud puddle.<br /> *'''Archery Range (C2):''' You've come across some kind of shooting gallery. There's a depressed looking archer at the desk there.<br /> *'''River and Stone (D2):''' Not much to see. River's got a rock in it.<br /> *'''Mountain Pass (E2):''' You've reached the mountain pass that leads to Trogdor's lair. A royal knight blocks the entrance.<br /> *'''Jhonka's Cave (A3):''' There's a little cave with a little door with a little note on it.<br /> **''{before getting riches, after Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.&lt;!--No space--&gt;A fat pile of riches lies next to him.<br /> **''{after the Kerrek is killed}'' There's a disgusting little Jhonka hopping around outside a little cave.<br /> *'''Your Burninated Cottage (B3):''' The remains of your thatched-roof cottage lie before you. You swear revenge against Trogdor.<br /> *'''Pebble Lake West (C3):''' There's definitely half a lake here with a sandy shore.<br /> *'''Pebble Lake East (D3):''' Why it's half a lake.<br /> **''{when the old man is fishing}'' Why it's half a lake.&lt;!--there's no space--&gt;With a fisherman in it. And he's fishing!<br /> *'''Outside Giant Inn (E3):''' There's a giant Inn here. It takes up, like, the entire screen.<br /> **'''Inside Giant Inn:''' What a dump! Only one bed and no minibar? The Innkeeper stands behind the desk and there's a door that's closed.<br /> **'''Inside Giant Inn:''' ''{at night}'' It's still dark out. The grimey old Innkeeper is gone and he left the pantry open.<br /> *'''Outside Mysterious Cottage: (A4)''' There's a run-of-the-mill non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.<br /> **'''Inside Mysterious Cottage:''' This place could use some serious sprucing of the 'up' variety. There's a dresser over there and a broom kind of silhouetted all mysterious like.<br /> *'''Wavy Tree (B4):''' Nothing special here except for that weird wavy tree.<br /> *'''Kerrek Tracks 2 (C4):''' ''{same as Kerrek Tracks 1}''<br /> *'''Outside Baby Lady Cottage (D4):''' There's a ranch-style thatched roof cottage here. There are also what appear to be four crunch berry bushes but you can't be sure.<br /> **'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. A lady rocks her baby in a chair. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.<br /> **'''Inside Baby Lady Cottage:''' ''{after the baby lady leaves}'' What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. There is one of those self-rocking chairs. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.<br /> *'''Burninated Trees (E4):''' A signal lantern of some kind hangs from a burninated tree.<br /> **''{at night}'' A burning signal lantern hangs from a severely burninated tree.<br /> *'''Cliff Base:''' You're at the base of a very climbable cliff that leads to Trogdor's lair. This cliff is huge - the kind where rocks start falling down the minute you try to climb it.<br /> *'''Cliffland Heights:''' Wow! It sure gets creepy fast around here! What with all the lightning and scary cave entrances.<br /> *'''Trogdor's Outer Sanctum:''' There are 3 openings with a little cliff in front of each. A beaded curtain hangs in a doorway on the far wall.<br /> *'''Trogdor's Posh Lair:''' You're in a giant cavern which houses a giant dragon. You didn't shrink or anything.<br /> <br /> ==Other Productive Responses==<br /> ===Constructive Conversations===<br /> There are some helpful residents of [[Peasantry]] who will provide you with tips about how to proceed in the game. While these conversations are not necessary for completion of the game, many are important to the game's storyline.<br /> <br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Character !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (at beginning of game) || You explain your situation to the knight. That Trogdor burninated your cottage and you've sworn revenge. You ask for passage up the mountain to settle your score. (Press RETURN to advance through conversations)&lt;br&gt;&quot;Hang on there, Trogdorkilla,&quot; says the knight. &quot;I can only allow actual peasants up the mountain pass to face Trogdor. And you CLEARLY are not one.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Look, Dragonheart...&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;You don't STINK like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;You don't DRESS like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;And you're definitely not ON FIRE like a peasant.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Once you're those 3 things, come back and maybe we can talk.&quot;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Be sure to LOOK around lots. Talk to everyone you see and ASK ABOUT stuff. Type HELP if you get confused and INVENTORY to see your worldly stuff. Type SAVE or LOAD to save or load your game. Duh.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;belt_only&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt) || &quot;Frankly, Matthew Broderick, you sure stink like a peasant. But you still don't DRESS like a peasant and you're not ON FIRE like a peasant.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;robe_only&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Naked Ned's robe) || &quot;My dear Adso, you are dressed well but you don't STINK and you're not ON FIRE. Let us instead exercise our brains and try to solve this tantalizing conundrum.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-id=&quot;belt_and_robe&quot;<br /> | [[The Red and Blue Knights|The Blue Knight]] || talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt and Naked Ned's robe) || &quot;Almost there, Dirk the Daring. You stink like a peasant and you dress like one too. But you're clearly still not ON FIRE.&quot; || 2E<br /> |-<br /> | [[Baby Lady &amp; Her Baby#The Baby Lady|The Baby Lady]] || talk lady || &quot;Hello, I'm-&quot; you start but the lady cuts you off&lt;br&gt;&quot;Okay, here's why I let you in here,&quot; she explains. &quot;My husband got squished by Trogdor. And to make matters worse, the insurance riches I got were stolen by Jhonka. Go steal them back for us and I'll give you something great.&quot; || Baby lady cottage<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || talk man (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || You holler at the old man about Trogdor, but he just grumbles about the fish not biting. &quot;Must be using the wrong bait...&quot; he says, suggestively. || 3D<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || talk man (after throwing chicken feed in lake) || &quot;If you're interested in staying the night, just type 'get a room.'&quot; || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | [[Old Man]] || get a room (without robe)|| &quot;I only serve peasants here, fancypants!&quot; barks the old guy. &quot;Where's your robe?&quot; || Inside giant inn<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ===Useful Documents===<br /> There are a few notes and documents lying around Peasantry that help Rather Dashing on his quest.<br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! width=&quot;100&quot; | Item !! Command !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | [[Peasant's Quest Items#map|Map]] || get map || You tuck it nice-like into your short, short pants. Type MAP at nearly any time to check the map. || 3B<br /> |-<br /> | Note on [[Old Man]]'s door || read note (before throwing chicken feed in lake) || It says, &quot;Gone Fishin&quot; just like that grog coozie your cousin got you. || 3E<br /> |-<br /> | Note on [[Jhonka]]'s door || read note (before killing [[Kerrek]]) || It says &quot;scared of kerrek. go way. -j&quot; || 3A<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ===Helpful Hints===<br /> At times when you stray from the correct path in the game, the computer will respond with suggestions to help keep you on the right track.<br /> {| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style=&quot;border-collapse:collapse;&quot;<br /> |- bgcolor=#eeeeee<br /> ! Action !! Response !! [[:Image:Peasantry Map.png|Location]]<br /> |-<br /> | After jumping in the haystack, go from 2A to any screen except 3A || Drat. The winds are heavy on all but a couple of key screens... looks like you're no longer in stealth mode. || 1A or 2B<br /> |-<br /> | Type any command while the pot of horse grease is on your head || You need to get out of there before that smelly octogenarian gets back. || Inside giant inn<br /> |-<br /> | Type any command other than &quot;Talk&quot; or &quot;Talk Trogdor&quot; after Trogdor wakes up || Trogdor is awake and a couple seconds from a Rather Dashing BBQ. Might as well say your peace with him. || Trogdor's Posh Lair<br /> |}<br /> <br /> ==Unproductive Responses==<br /> [[Image:closedrawer.PNG|thumb|300px|&gt; CLOSE DRAWER]]<br /> There are many messages that the game gives you when you input commands that are not essential to the game's storyline. Here is a list of all that have been found. When more than one option is given, such as &quot;get/take _____&quot;, either word will produce the same response.<br /> <br /> <br /> {{compactTOC3}}<br /> {{clear}}<br /> ===#===<br /> <br /> ===A===<br /> *'''&quot;Ask about _____&quot;:'''<br /> **'''Baby:'''<br /> ***(to Baby Lady) - &quot;This little guy's all I got left. If only someone would steal back all our riches from that filthy Jhonka.&quot;<br /> **'''Fire:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Well, whenever I see peasants, they tend to be on fire. So get yourself on fire. I hear horse grease gives a nice, controlled burn.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;You need fire? A couple of trees over by the waterfall used to be on fire. But now there's like a signal lantern over there or something.&quot; / &quot;So should I ask that signal lantern?&quot; you ask. / &quot;I dunno man! Whattaya want from me?&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Trogdor just burned down some idiot peasant's cottage. You should ask him,&quot; says Mendelev. / &quot;Yeah, this jerk goes on vacation to some prancey lake and...&quot; / They see you staring daggers at them and turn bright red. / &quot;Oh. Nevermind,&quot; says Dongolev. &quot;Um, yeah. What's a fire?&quot; adds Mendelev.<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Burninator make fire! Barbecue all peasants!&quot;<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I've always preferred being on fire at night. Looks prettier and keeps the butterflies away.&quot;<br /> **'''Jhonka:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Since the Kerrek showed up, we don't see the Jhonka so much anymore. He lives in that little cave over in west Peasantry.&quot;<br /> ***(to Baby Lady) - &quot;That nasty thing killed my husband and took my riches!!&quot; / &quot;I thought Trogdor killed your husband,&quot; you interject. / &quot;Oh right. Yeah. That's what I said. Trogband killed my husbdor.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;The Kerrek is dead!&quot; he cries and hops around some more. You wonder how someone this primitive could have made that much dough.<br /> **'''Kerrek:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I call him Big Stinky. He's slow and stupid, but he'll pound you into milks meat without a second thought.&quot;<br /> **'''Naked Ned:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;That weirdo used to live over in west Peasantry but now I guess he just prances around the forest in his birthday suit.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;Don't talk about that pervert in front of the baby here.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;That guy creeps us out. In fact, shut up about him.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Filthy naked peasant! Stay away from my cave-hole!&quot; Who's he calling naked? HE'S the one wearing the string bikini.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;He used to be such a nice, clothed young man. Wonder what he's done with all his old clothes?&quot;<br /> **'''robe:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;Peasants wear those brown robes. You know, with the rope around the waist. Get yourself one of those.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;You can't have mine, pervert! I'm not a nudist peasant like that weirdo over in west Peasantry!&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;We wouldn't know. We only wear archer clothes. You just can't arch real well in a robe, y'know?&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - ''see naked ned''<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I wear my robe hood-down so it's easier to trim my ear-hairs. If you need a robe, maybe try someone that's not using theirs.&quot;<br /> **'''smell:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I never met a peasant that didn't stink. If you wanna smell bad, get the Kerrek involved. That thing reeks!&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;What smells is junior here's drawers! I gotta quit feeding him so much horse!&quot; / &quot;And don't start asking me for his diapers, sicko!&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;That giant pig running around sure smells bad. Maybe talk to him.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Kerrek smell! Now Kerrek dead!&quot; screeches the Jhonka. So you can infer from this that all smells are dead? You always sucked at the analytical questions.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;Well, if you don't stink, maybe find something that does and wear it. Like a dead carcass or summat.&quot;<br /> **'''trogdor:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;If I had a gold coin for every whining peasant's cottage that freaking dragon burninated, I'd be rich as a jhonka.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;I hope you kill that stupid dragon. My 'Wives of Squished Peasants' support group would bake you a Poor Gary pie if you did.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Oh man, there was this one time when I came THIS close to having Trogdor ARROWED!&quot; says Dongolev. / &quot;Hey, shut up! That was me!&quot; interrupts Mendelev, &quot;YOU almost arrowed that blue baby!&quot; says Dongolev. [sic] / &quot;Did not!&quot; / &quot;Did so!&quot; / &quot;Did not!&quot; / (You see where this is going.)<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;All hail Burninator! Trogdor Number One! Beat Peasant Tech!&quot; says the grimy Jhonka.<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;Are you talking about that young green boy that lives up the street? He's always tearing my roof off and eating my customers.&quot;<br /> **'''anything else:'''<br /> ***(to knight) - &quot;I don't know anything about that, short pants.&quot;<br /> ***(to baby lady) - &quot;I dunno what you're talking about.&quot;<br /> ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - &quot;Either we don't know anything about that, or you're real boring.&quot;<br /> ***(to Jhonka) - &quot;Jhonka don't know nothing bout that!&quot;<br /> ***(to innkeeper) - &quot;I don't know nothing about no whatever you just said.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere else) - &quot;Ask about what?&quot;<br /> : &lt;small&gt;* - You can only ask Mendelev and Dongolev when they're together.&lt;/small&gt;<br /> *'''&quot;attack sign&quot;''' (at the Mountain Pass) - &quot;I was being facetious, Mr. Smarty-short-pants. No sign attacking for you.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===B===<br /> *'''&quot;boo&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Scared me.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;break/kick/punch door&quot;''' (at Outside mysterious cottage) - &quot;Violence is not the answer.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;break sign&quot;''' (at Mountain Pass) - ''See &quot;attack sign&quot;''<br /> *'''&quot;break stump, sit on stump, etc.&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Are you THAT bored? Do some questing already!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;buy kerrek a cold one&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;The kerrek&lt;!--sic--&gt; is a teetotaller and is offended by your offer. You've really cheesed him off now.&quot; '''Warning:''' This speeds the Kerrek up, so be careful. This command was first seen in the email [[for kids]].<br /> <br /> ===C===<br /> *'''&quot;[[The Cheat|cheat]]&quot;''' (or any phrase involving &quot;cheat&quot;; anywhere) - &quot;Meh.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;climb _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;cliff&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere near the bottom of the cliff) - &quot;There aren't enough footholds and you don't have any carabeaners on you.&quot;<br /> ***(at the top of the cliff) - &quot;They don't show how the sports-drink people get down from the cliff. You've no idea how to start.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fence&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;No, you have business to attend to here in Peasantry.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;More like you should walk through that gaping hole in it. Just an idea.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Not going to dignify that with a response.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in bucket&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Your butt is too big.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;No go. Your insurance doesn't cover that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but at the wavy tree or hidden glen) - &quot;But then your hands would get all sappy.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Naw, you'd probably figure out some way to kill yourself doing that.&quot;<br /> ***(at the wavy tree) - &quot;You don't climb wavy trees.&quot;<br /> ***(after getting a room in the inn) - &quot;Naw. That's dumb. Do better.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;close _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Already done. That was easy!&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - &quot;You can't. That baby really wrenched it open good.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;'''<br /> ***(without stealing the robe) - &quot;Right, right. Wouldn't want to leave the robes out where any old guy trying to beat an adventure game could take them.&quot;<br /> ***(when it's closed) - &quot;A riddle: What can be closed that is already closed? (hint: not this drawer)&quot;<br /> ***(after getting the robe) - &quot;Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;cut off arms, legs, and head&quot;''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Very funny. You have trouble cutting out coupons in the weekly 'Peasant Penny-Pincher' circular. I'd like to see you try.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===D===<br /> *'''&quot;[[dan]]&quot;''' (or any phrase involving Dan; anywhere): &quot;Dan's still okay. Got a place on Dekalb with Rick and his wife. Slimmed up a bit and looking towards the future.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;dance&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You'd rather just stand here and soak up the scene.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;die&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;That wasn't very smart. You dead.&quot; '''Warning:''' This kills you.<br /> *'''&quot;drink&quot;''' (or any object after &quot;drink&quot;; anywhere) - &quot;For simplicity's sake you are immune to hunger and thirst in this game. So you got that going for you./Which is nice.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;drop baby&quot;'''<br /> **(once you have baby) - &quot;Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm.&quot; '''or''' &quot;Quit tryin to ditch the baby!&quot;<br /> **(before you have baby) - &quot;You don't even have two babies to rub together.&quot;<br /> **(at the well) - &quot;Like where?&quot;<br /> <br /> ===E===<br /> <br /> ===F===<br /> *'''&quot;feed horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen before scaring him) - &quot;There's a good chance that horse has NEVER eaten. I doubt he'll start now.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===G===<br /> *'''&quot;get a room&quot;''' (when on fire) - \oard&lt;!-- Yes, it's really a backslash, not a B. That's why &quot;[sic]&quot; is there. --&gt; [sic] of Peasant Health says I can't serve any folk that's on fire. Nothing personal. Well, I mean, I don't like you much anyway.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;get/take/steal _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;(anything not listed and not relevant to the plot)&quot;''' - &quot;You probably WISH you could get that.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;arrow&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the archery range) - &quot;They have 'RANGE' printed on them, so it would be kind of embarrassing to have to shoot around with them. Also, that guy over there is giving you the evil eye.&quot;<br /> ***(at the secret glen while Dongolev is there) - &quot;Something tells me now's not a good time.&quot; (you get the arrow anyway and Dongolev shoots you) &quot;It wasn't a good time. Hey, my mom's making peasant-kabobs for dinner TOO! Right. Anyway. You dead. Thanks for playing, and try not to die.&quot; '''Warning:''' As you can see, this kills you.<br /> ***(at the secret glen after getting the first arrow OR at the secret glen after getting the second arrow after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;You're pretty much all set on the arrow front. They're kinda cool, though.&quot;<br /> ***(at the secret glen after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;You grab yet another arrow from the tree hoping to get some bonus points.&quot;<br /> ***(at Kerrek's body after killing the Kerrek) - &quot;Eww! No way. That thing's got some serious Kerrek-Brand kooties on it now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage, while she has the baby) - &quot;'You want to be a part of this family? GO GET US THOSE RICHES!!' she shrieks.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bell&quot;''' (in the inn, after getting a room) - &quot;You can't. It looks like it's been somehow olded&lt;!-- sic --&gt; to the desk.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (after getting it) - &quot;You totally got the belt already, as evidenced by the rancid cloud of odor that follows you like a shadow.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;berries&quot;'''<br /> ***(the same bush twice outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You already searched that bush. It was okay. Nothing to write home about... oh, wait... you don't have a home. My b.&quot;<br /> ***(after you've gotten the trinket, outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You've searched your fill of berry bushes for this game. If you want to search more press 'reload' on the browser&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake) - &quot;NO MAN! JEEZ!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bone/skull&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff) - Eww. No. Grody. You're grody. No. Eww.<br /> **'''&quot;broom&quot;''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;No, no. The broom is in the foreground and you can't take things from the foreground. You don't see me all typing 'get browser window', do you?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bucket&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;You can't, it's tied to a rope and you're terrible with knots.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;candle&quot;''' (at night, in the inn) - It seems like you should be able to do that, doesn't it? Sorry. No dice.<br /> **'''&quot;chair&quot;''' <br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is there) - &quot;No. There's a big bag of something in it. Oh, that's the baby lady.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is gone) - &quot;No. Too big for pants.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;club&quot;''' (outside the Jhonka's cottage when he's out) - &quot;Now there's a surefire way to get yourself killed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;You get a hernia from lifting it. -2 Movement points, -10 Constitution. Don't do that again.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage after stealing feed) - &quot;You don't need anymore. It might give rise to old temptations.<br /> **'''&quot;fire&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, before getting the horse grease) - &quot;You're just not flammable enough.&quot;<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting the horse grease) - &quot;You don't need to get IT. Just let IT get YOU.&quot;<br /> ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting on fire) - &quot;You're already on fire! What? You want to be MORE on fire?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;You nasty. Besides, they wouldn't survive a minute away from that horse's butt.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;gold/money&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Um, that's chicken feed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;grease&quot;''' (inside the inn, at night, when you already got the grease) - &quot;You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.<br /> **'''&quot;hay&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;Who do you think you are? Some kind of Thy Dungeonman? You don't need any hay.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;There's a huge bale a couple of screens over from here. Why bother stealing?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain whether or not he's still alive) - &quot;Well, he does smell real bad. But he's a bit too big to fit in your pocket.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lantern&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - &quot;Better not. There's an engraved plaque on it that says, &quot;Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of 'You Die'.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;mud&quot;'''<br /> ***(when it's wet, before you fall in) - &quot;You can't get the mud so much. More like the mud'll get you.&quot;<br /> ***(when it's wet, after you fall in) - &quot;You've already gotten an heapin' helpin' all up on yo'self.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;map&quot;''' (at your cottage, after you've gotten it) - &quot;Yeah but like you already map the took, guy!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;note&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Jhonka's cave) - &quot;It's been magically sealed to the door with a wondrously whimsical spell.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;What is it with you and notes?! No!!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;old man rub&quot;''' (in the inn) - You disgust me.<br /> **'''&quot;paper&quot;''' (in the inn) - Naw, it might be important to that wrinkly old loon.<br /> **'''&quot;painting&quot;''' (in the inn) - Weird. It's actually painted right into the wall. Like, the frame and everything.<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles&quot;'''<br /> ***(after you've gotten them) - &quot;Come now. We've been through this jaunty little bit before. You took them from the half lake screen with the cattail and stuff.&quot;<br /> ***(from the opposite side of where you get the pebbles) &quot;You do your best Mr. Fantastic impression, but you can't reach them from here.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;plague&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - Wrong game, Mispeller Jones. Try the little button to the left of the 'W'.<br /> **'''&quot;plaque&quot;''' (at the signal lantern) - You have enough of that on your browning, rotten peasant teeth already.<br /> **'''&quot;pillow&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;Not a chance. There's even more questionable stains on that pillow than there are on that rug.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You don't have anywhere to use it and it is rather bulky, so you leave it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pot&quot;''' (in the inn, after you already have horse grease) - You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.<br /> **'''&quot;robe&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, after you've gotten it) - You still remember the time when you took them. Oh, the times have changed ... but the robes?<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, when the drawer is closed) - You reach into the closed drawer and nearly break your hand slamming it. Just like a bird on a pane of glass minus the blamelessness.<br /> **'''&quot;rock&quot;'''<br /> ***(by the stream) - &quot;For what? Now you're just making up puzzles to solve.&quot;<br /> ***(at the mud puddle) - &quot;That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me.&quot;<br /> ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage, after moving it) - &quot;You've already moved the stone out of the way to reveal a less-than-peasant-sized hole.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rug&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;You're not touching that thing. Too many questionable stains on it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;stuff/food&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Which foodstuffs?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;target&quot;''' (at the archery range) - &quot;No. Those will fall on you and more than likely kill you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;give _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;(anything not listed)&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;We don't need that mess.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere except for the woman's cottage) - &quot;You don't need to give that now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn, before you get the baby) - &quot;You have no baby nor any immediate prospects.&quot;<br /> ***(in the inn, when you already have the pills) - &quot;You already milked that fogey for all the pills he's worth.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;riches&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, before getting the riches) - &quot;'That's right,' she whines. 'Find my riches, and give here.'&quot;<br /> ***(outside Jhonka's cave, before jumping in hay) - &quot;The Jhonka will see you! And rip out your jugular with his teeth or something equally horrible.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, after giving the riches) - &quot;We did that already, and it was sort of humiliating.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trinket&quot;'''<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot; 'Did you find that thing in my yard?' she asks. 'I got that thing free in a box of Plaguezees. I need some FOR REAL riches!' &quot;<br /> ***(inside woman's cottage after giving trinket to Mendelev) &quot; 'Why are you holding your hand out?' she asks. 'I told you I need riches, so I can't give em away.' You don't have a trinket to give, you realize.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;go _____&quot;''' (anything or letter can be put in here) - &quot;Use the arrow keys, pal. Just like a joypad only more like your day job.<br /> <br /> ===H===<br /> *'''&quot;haldo&quot;'''<br /> **(anywhere but in the secret glade, before or after talking to Mendelev) - &quot;That's totally not Dongolev.&quot;<br /> **(in the secret glade before talking to Mendelev) - &quot;What'd you read that in PQ Stragedy [sic] Guide? Go talk to my brother first.&quot;<br /> **(in the secret glade after Dongolev leaves) - &quot;Haldo?.' you call out... 'Hadloooooo' [sic] &quot;<br /> **(at the archery Range after Dongolev has returned) - &quot;HALDO!!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;hide in hay&quot;''' (at the hay bale, before getting in) - &quot;Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;hug tree&quot;''' (at the hay bale) - &quot;To every thing, turn, turn, turn. There is a season, turn, turn, turn.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===I===<br /> <br /> ===J===<br /> *'''&quot;jump in hay&quot;''' (by the hay bale, when you're not muddy) - &quot;Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;jump in hay&quot;''' (near the hay bale, when you're muddy but not right next to it) - &quot;Who do you think you are, MJ? Try from a little closer.&quot;<br /> ===K===<br /> *'''&quot;kick/kill/punch poor gary&quot;'''<br /> **(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;You attempt to cause Poor Gary harm for no good reason other than you kinda suck at this game. {Poor Gary kicks you} WOW! For a decrepit old horse, Poor Gary still packs a mean whallop. You dead. Thanks for playing.&quot; '''Warning:''' Needless to say, this kills you.<br /> **(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) - &quot;Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;kill _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (after he's outside) - &quot;No way! Jhonka's are born scrappers. He may be little, but he'll crawl ya.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is present and you do not have the bow and arrow) - &quot;With what?! You got no weapons except your butter-knife wit.&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the arrow, but not the bow) - &quot;With what?! You gonna throw that arrow at him?&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the bow, but not the arrow) - &quot;With what?! You got no arrow, fool!&quot;<br /> ***(after the Kerrek is dead) - &quot;Yeah. You smote the Kerrek. You deserve a trophy full of Mutton-ums.&quot;<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is not there) - &quot;Good idea. But you kinda need the actual Kerrek to be here for that to work.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;''' (while Trogdor's asleep, in his lair) - &quot;Like how?&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;knock&quot;'''<br /> **(at the woman's cottage) - &quot; 'It's open,' says a female voice from inside. Um, it's NOT open, but you get her drift.&quot;<br /> **(at the woman's cottage, after she leaves) - No one answers. That crazy lady took off. How ever will you get past this closed door now?<br /> **(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - &quot;A gravelly voice inside yells, 'JUST US CHICKENS' '''or:''' 'NO FOR RENT' '''or:''' 'I GIVE LAST YEAR!' '''or:''' 'GAVE AT OFFICE' '''or:''' 'GO WAY!'&quot;<br /> **(at the inn, while it's closed) - &quot;No answer.&quot;<br /> **(at the inn, after it's been opened) - &quot;Just open it, man!&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;You could knock until your knuckles bleed. Nobody's home.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;Knock until knuckles bleed&quot;'''<br /> **(at Naked Ned's cottage)-&quot;You knock for about 4 hours until your knuckles are raw and bloody. That was fun!&quot;<br /> **(type it again at Naked Ned's cottage)-&quot;You done that already. A great time was had by all.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===L===<br /> *'''&quot;light lantern&quot;'''<br /> **(at the burninated trees before it is lit) - &quot;With what? Your red-hot intellect?&quot;<br /> **(at the burninated trees after it is lit) - &quot;Already lit, moron.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;load&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;look _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''(at anything, while hiding inside the bale of hay)''' - &quot;Right now, you see a bunch of hay.&quot;<br /> **'''(at something previously in your inventory but now gone)''' - &quot;You used to have one, before the great item blight of 402. Check your INVENTORY to read about it.&quot; <br /> **'''(at something currently in your inventory)''' - &quot;You've totally got one of those! Check your INVENTORY to give'r a serious looksee.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;arrow&quot;''' (at the hidden glen) - &quot;Somebody call a tree doctor. Them puppies are stuck in there like a, um, er ... stuck pig.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage while she has the baby) - &quot;Peasant babies are pretty freaking adorable. This little guy's no exception.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bed&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Is that just a fitted sheet over a slab of concrete?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bell&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Tis broked.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;Yecch. I wouldn't touch that unless it was, like, an important quest item or something.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;berries&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake) &quot;Shut up.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Crunch berries maybe.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;boat/dinghy&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot;Keep your eyes off my dinghy!&quot; <br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake after he is gone) - &quot;It was loaned out to the [[Fishing Challenge '91|Fishing Challenge videogame]].&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bone/skeleton/skull&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff for the bone and skull and in Trogdor's outer sanctum for the skeleton) - &quot;You can't be sure but you think those are dead person bones.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bush&quot;''' (at the west side of the lake) - &quot;Don't worry about that bush. Yeah, there's red berries on it but never you mind.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;bushes&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You suspect they might be crunch berry bushes.&quot;<br /> ***(in the hidden glen) - &quot;There's some thick 'ol bushes up in this hidden glen.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;candle&quot;''' (in the inn after getting a room) - &quot;That candle's not at all on fire.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;cave&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the Jhonka's cave) - &quot;Just a little cave. Calm down.&quot;<br /> ***(at the top of the cliff) - &quot;The cave entrance beckons to you like a hot mutton sandwich might.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;chair&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;One of those self-rocking kind. Not bad for a brown-collar peasant-type. Must be trickle-down in action.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;club/turkey leg&quot;''' (at the Jhonka's cave when he's outside) - &quot;Turkey leg or no, it looks like the Jhonka's been gnawing on it.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;cottage&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the yellow tree) - &quot;You see a cottage in the distance. You hold your fingers up to one eye and pretend to squash it.&quot;<br /> ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;A run-of-the-mill, non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;You had a cottage once. A lot like this one. *sniff* Trogdor will pay!&quot;<br /> ***(at your burninated cottage) - &quot;All your baubles and trinkets, your flasks and scrolls, your goblets and staffs! BURNINATED!!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;crank&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the well before putting pebbles in the bucket) - &quot;It looks rusted in place.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well after putting pebbles in the bucket) - &quot;That is a bonafide crank. It seems to work now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;curtain/beads&quot;''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;That thing's awesome. You always wanted one for your dorm room but your roommate was a total drag and said no.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;desk&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the archery range) - &quot;It says 'archery' on it. My wife's drunk.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn) - &quot;There's a broken bell and a piece of parchment on there.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;Just a door. A door with a note on it.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;A wicked beaded curtain hangs in the doorway.&quot;<br /> ***(outside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Listen to you, &quot;look door&quot; What kinda gaming is that? It's a door and it's closed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Cool Ranch. Your old favorite.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;fence&quot;'''<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;A particularly rickety peasant-issue fence. Trogdor uses bits of these as toothpicks.&quot;<br /> ***(by haystack/Jhonka's cottage/Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;A standard peasant fence. Trogdor makes milk's meat outta these things.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Wow! There's a hole in it on THIS side too!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;flies&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;A cloud of buttflies fly around the horse's butt.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;footprints/tracks&quot;''' (when the Kerrek is present) - &quot;It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;footprints/tracks&quot;''' (when the Kerrek is not present) - &quot;If you weren't a simpleton you might think these were Kerrek prints. But since you are a simpleton, you just go, 'Yay! Piggies!' &quot;<br /> **'''&quot;ground&quot;''' - &quot;Hey, it's your old fireproof map of Peasantry.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;hay&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;It reminds you of a warm, safe place where as a child you'd hide.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Hay is for horses!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;This bag o' bones looks like he's headed for the glue factory. He's got the name 'Poor Gary' branded onto his hide.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in hay&quot;''' (at the hay bale) - &quot;You search and search through the haystack. Nope. No needles.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;in well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;It's dark and welly in there. Smell like stank too.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;inn&quot;''' (outside the inn) - &quot;Looks okay from out here. But do they have a free breakfast buffet?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (at the Jhonka's cottage when he's outside) - &quot;The Jhonka is gray and grody. He's got a cromagnon forehead and jaw with a pair of wicked incisors. He sports an old loin-cheese cloth and carries either a big club or one of those roasted turkey legs you got at the Ren Fest.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - &quot;It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!&quot;<br /> ***(while he's decomposing) - &quot;He dead. You didn't think he could have smelled any worse? Well, guess what: He smells worse.&quot;<br /> ***(when he's all bones) - &quot;He dead. He wasn't fat, he was just big boned! Poor pig-man.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;knight/man/dude/guy&quot;''' (at the mountain pass) - &quot;He looks way cooler than you.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lady/woman&quot;''' <br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she's still there) - &quot;Typical pasty peasant woman, overbearing and judgemental&lt;!-- sic --&gt;. Obsessed with goods and land.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the woman's cottage, after she's gone) - &quot;I can't believe you thought you had a chance with her!/Dork!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lake&quot;''' (at the fisherman's lake) - &quot;Why it's half a lake.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;lake/water&quot;''' (at the lake with pebbles) - &quot;It extends onto the next screen and has a sandy shore.&quot; <br /> **'''&quot;lantern&quot;'''<br /> ***(while unlit; at the burninated trees) - &quot;It's unlit at the moment. That fancy pants royal knight probably lights it on nights when Troggie's on the prowl.&quot;<br /> ***(while lit; at the burninated trees) - &quot;It's lit! Musta been a Trogdor sighting tonight.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lightning&quot;''' (at the top of the cliff) - &quot;Scary. Like Auntie Gerelda's crow's feet.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;man&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;He's an older peasant with big cotton swabs stuffed up his nose. Oh wait. Those are nose hairs. Grody.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;man/guy/peasant/old guy/old man&quot;''' (at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot;An older peasant sits silently in a boat with his line in the water.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;ned&quot;''' (at the wavy tree, when Naked Ned is peeking out) - &quot;A fairly naked man is peeking out behind that tree.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;openings&quot;''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) - &quot;They're mysterious and out of reach. Like girls were to you in high school.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;painting&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;It's a painting of dogs playing 'Magic: The Nerdening.'&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;paper&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;It says, 'Note to self: Wave arms wildly!'&quot;<br /> ***(at your burninated cottage) - &quot;Hey, it's your old fireproof map to Peasantry.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pillow&quot;'''<br /> ***(in the inn) - &quot;If you sleep in that bed, you're NOT putting your head on that nasty pillow.&quot;<br /> ***(in the woman's cottage) - &quot;Swedish foam. Your favorite.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pot&quot;''' (in the inn after getting a room) - &quot;It's full of horse grease. I guess that sounds useful.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rock&quot;'''<br /> ***(by the stream) - &quot;The ages have worn this rock down. It is a rock of ages. Still a-rollin.&quot;<br /> ***(at the mud patch) - &quot;That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage after removing it) - &quot;Some jerk removed a loose stone from the back of the cottage.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;rug&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Maybe that used to be a magic carpet. But it's sure a cat pee-stained carpet now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;sand&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the fisherman's lake) - &quot;One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty two... One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty three... Drat! You lost count again.&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the pebbles) - &quot;Remember those pebbles on the beach? Man, those were good times.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;shelf&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;Nothing but a bag of chicken feed.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;sign&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the mountain pass) - &quot;What that sign there? That sign says 'Trogdor.'&quot;<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;If you can't read that sign, you need to quit playing this game.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;stump&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated trees) - &quot;NOT a good place to sit.&quot;<br /> ***(at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;You run out of ideas as to what to do next, and stare at the stump.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;target&quot;''' (at the archery range) - &quot;Hey, they had those same targets at Peasant Scout Camp!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the burninated trees) - &quot;Severely burninated. They could probably use some salve.&quot;<br /> ***(at the hay bale) - &quot;It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown!&quot;<br /> ***(at the hidden glen) - &quot;Dude, and then the elf, like, totally climbed up it. It was awesome!&quot;<br /> ***(at the wavy tree) - &quot;It's weird and wavy.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well) - &quot;That's one orange tree alright.&quot;<br /> ***(at the yellow tree) - &quot;You're really hurtin' for puzzle solutions, eh?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trees&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You are an incredibly boring person.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Trogdor's lair, while he's asleep) - &quot;Holy crap! Trogdor's way bigger in person than he looks in most tapestries you've seen. All of the sudden, losing your cottage doesn't seem so bad anymore.&quot;<br /> ***(in Trogdor's lair, when he's awake) - &quot;Trogdor is looming menacingly over you with a tiny wee sword stuck in his belly. He looks like he's gonna kill you really soon.&quot;<br /> ***(at mountain pass) - I know it's labeled 'Trogdor,' but it's really just a sign, silly. I mean, attack it if you want...<br /> **'''&quot;water&quot;''' (by the stream) - Got a rock in it.<br /> **'''&quot;waterfall&quot;''' (at the waterfall) - &quot;Upon closer inspection, you discover it's not magical. That's just mist, not magic sparkles or anything.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;well&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Pretty average. You're not a big well person. You're more into bridges. It does have a cute little bucket though. Your dad liked buckets. Oh, and there's a metal crank too. Meemaw loved cranks.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;window&quot;'''<br /> ***(outside the inn) - &quot;Check it out! There's an INN in there.&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn) - &quot;Check it out! There's a Peasantry out there!<br /> <br /> ===M===<br /> *'''&quot;make friends with kerrek&quot;''' - &quot;Look, it didn't work for Strongbad [sic] and it's not gonna work for you either.&quot; (As seen in [[for kids]])<br /> *'''&quot;map&quot;''' (before you find the map; anywhere) - &quot;We are neither confirming nor denying the presence of a map in this game, but irridisregardless, you don't have one.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===N===<br /> <br /> ===O===<br /> *'''&quot;open _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;door&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) - &quot;It's locked. With one o' them SCHLAGE deadbolts, too. Those things are hard core.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;How? There's no knob.&quot;<br /> ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) - &quot;It's already open. Since this is an adventure game we're gonna proffer you adventure yourself on in there.&quot;<br /> ***(at the inn, while it's closed) - &quot;It's locked fast!&quot;<br /> ***(inside the inn, before getting a room) - &quot;'That's the pantry,' says the Innkeeper. 'Employees only.'&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;drawer&quot;'''<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage when it's open) - &quot;Yeah, totally! Except it's already open you moron.&quot;<br /> ***(in Naked Ned's cottage after getting the robe and closing the drawer) - &quot;You already closed it, which was nice, and so we gave you some points. Let sleeping drawers lie.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===P===<br /> *'''&quot;party&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;You are part of the Whig party. They are making gangrene-awareness their number one campaign priority.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;pet horse/poor gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Aww, that's sweet. Poor Gary tries in vain to bite your arm off.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;[[pwd]]&quot;''' - Prints on-screen your location as a (fake) directory.<br /> *'''&quot;put _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;Where you wanna toss em?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby in well/bucket&quot;''' (at the well, before getting the baby) - &quot;Hmmmm... A baby, eh? You check your sundial. Babies-R-Us is probably closed by now.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby in well&quot;'''<br /> ***(after getting the sub) - &quot;Li'l tyke seems to enjoy the ride, but - thin or not - we've got a plot to advance here.&quot;<br /> ***(at the well with the baby) - &quot;Jeez man! At least put the poor little guy in the bucket! Give him a fighting chance!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles&quot;''' - &quot;Where you wanna toss em?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles in bucket&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the well, when you don't have them) - &quot;Find some pebbles first and you might have the makings of a good idea. About time.&quot;<br /> ***(after getting the maskus) - &quot;We've already been through this exercise and it went pretty well, ya?&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;pebbles in well&quot;''' <br /> ***(at the well, when you have them) - &quot;Then it'd be tough to get them back. You never go ANYWHERE without your rocks&quot;<br /> ***(at the well, when you don't have them) - &quot;Riiight, right. Which ones?&quot;<br /> <br /> ===Q===<br /> *'''&quot;quit&quot;''' - &quot;Well fine Boring Sanders! Hope you saved your game cause it is OVER between us!&quot; '''Warning:''' The game still quits.<br /> <br /> ===R===<br /> *'''&quot;ride horse/poor gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - &quot;Naw, snapping horse spines just doesn't seem as cool as it did in high school.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;ring bell&quot;''' (in the inn) - &quot;Instead of ringing or dinging, it just goes DUNG.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===S===<br /> *'''&quot;save&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - &quot;You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;scare horse&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before getting the mask) - &quot;You tell Gary the &quot;THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!&quot; one but he doesn't act very scared. He's probably heard it before.&quot; '''or:''' &quot;You tell Gary about how much cholesterol is in hay and how his arteries are probably all black and clogged. He shrugs it off.&quot; '''or:''' &quot;You tell Gary the story about the kid who pops this big zit he has and all these baby spiders come out. It doesn't phase him.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;sit on stump&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Are you THAT bored?! Do some questing already!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;skip stones&quot;''' (at the west side of the lake) - &quot;You've always been terrible at skipping stones. And you're even worse at just plain throwing rocks in lakes. You decide to save yourself the embarrassment.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;sleep&quot;'''<br /> **(inside the woman's cottage) - &quot;That's probably how the first baby got here. Forget it.&quot;<br /> **(in the inn while the man is there) - &quot;You probably want to talk to that stinky old guy over there about that.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;smell/sniff&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Smells like a computer game.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;swim&quot;'''<br /> **(at the rock in the river) - &quot;Peasants can't swim. Like, it's illegal.&quot;<br /> **(at the waterfall) - &quot;That waterfall would probably churn you into one of those weight-gain protein smoothies.&quot;<br /> **(at the west side of the lake) - &quot;Not in this game, Swimmer [[Dan]]! In this game, you drown.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===T===<br /> *'''&quot;talk&quot;'''<br /> **(at the archery range, while away from or behind the desk) - &quot;Why don't you saddle up to the front of the table there, cowboy?&quot;<br /> **(at the archery range, after beating the minigame) - &quot;Go away!&quot; says Dongolev. &quot;We're arguing about who's hotter,&quot; adds Mendelev.<br /> **(at wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- &quot;You startled him and he disappears!&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;talk ____&quot;'''<br /> **'''(someone not in the screen, inanimate, or nonexistent; anywhere)''' - &quot;It's sad when you have to make up people to talk to.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage, before you get the baby) - &quot;You say some cute, stupid stuff and the baby just blows snot bubbles.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;gary&quot;''' (at Poor Gary's glen when he's there) - &quot;Your attempts at conversation are met with horse grunts and tail flaps. Which is better than you do at conversation with most people.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;jhonka&quot;''' (while inside the hay) - &quot;Not now! You'll blow your cover!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;kerrek&quot;''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - &quot;Me llamo Julio,' you begin... It seems only to further anger the already temperamental Kerrek. That stupid 'Learn Kerrek in 3 Weeks' cassette did nothing for you!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;lady&quot;''' (inside the woman's cottage after she's gone) - &quot;You'd call out her name and let it ring through the empty room, enveloping you in sorrow, but you don't actually know her name.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;Naked Ned&quot;''' (at the wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- &quot;'Never speak of this meeting!' says the nudie and he disapperars.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;tree&quot;''' (at the wavy tree) - &quot;Trees can't talk but a breeze picks up and you swear the leaves whisper the words 'Naked Ned.' Weird.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;trogdor&quot;''' (in Trogdor's lair while he's asleep) - &quot;You yell some choice expletives at Trogdor but he doesn't wake up. There's a cool echo, though.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;well&quot;''' (At the well) &quot;You yell into the well and enjoy the echo. Keep in mind there are no stereos yet.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;this sucks&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;throw _____&quot;'''<br /> **(anything but the feed; at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) - &quot; 'That isn't gonna work for bait!' the old man screams, at a needlessly harsh volume.&quot;<br /> **(anything; when the fisherman is gone) - &quot;You already fed the fish. Let's get moving, here, people!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;baby&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but the west side of the lake) - &quot;Hmmm. Maybe try someplace else.<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake before getting the baby) - &quot;I think you misread the walkthrough on GameFAQs. You gotta get the baby first.&quot;<br /> ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the soda) - &quot;Baby Dashing is a little waterlogged from the toss, and you read his soft gurgling to mean that there's no more soda left.&quot;<br /> ***(anywhere without the baby) - &quot;You don't even have two babies to rub together.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;feed&quot;'''<br /> ***(at the east side of the lake before getting the feed) - &quot;You have nothing with which to do that...with.&quot;<br /> ***(at the east side of the lake after throwing the feed) - &quot;You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!&quot; (The repetition is probably just a goof.)<br /> *'''&quot;try&quot;''' - (at Naked Ned's cottage) - &quot;Okay, fine. You try to cut off your hard-earned extremities. It doesn't work. You dead. Thanks for nothing.&quot; '''Warning:''' You die.<br /> *'''&quot;turn crank&quot;'''<br /> **(at the well, on the other side of the screen) - &quot;You got a short reach to match your short pants. Try standing closer to that crank.&quot;<br /> **(at well, after you get the maskus) - {first time} &quot;Down she goes! You could do this all day!&quot; {second time} &quot;The drama grips you, but the bucket is empty. On the bright side, you're getting a pretty sweet workout for your Deltoidus Rex muscles.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===U===<br /> *'''&quot;use/deploy baby&quot;'''<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, before getting the baby) - &quot;Swell idea, but is you ain't my baby? I.e. you ain't got one?&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, before moving the stone) - &quot;Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm.&quot;<br /> **(at Naked Ned's hut, after the baby has left) - &quot;Li'l P.B. has moved on, and the door seems to be open...I can't see why we'd go through this all over again.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;use pebbles&quot;''' (at the well) - &quot;What do you propose to do with them? Discuss.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===V===<br /> <br /> ===W===<br /> *'''&quot;wake up trogdor&quot;''' - &quot;Troggie...&quot;, you murmur. &quot;Troggie, wake up it's time for Burnination school.&quot; He's not budging.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;wear _____&quot;'''<br /> **'''&quot;belt&quot;''' (after getting the belt) - &quot;You're already wearing it. Too bad you smell like the trash barge off Peasant Isle.&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;mask&quot;'''<br /> ***(anywhere but Poor Gary's glen) - &quot;Not on this screen. You've got your image to think about. Actually, you might want to start deliberating on that right now.&quot;<br /> ***(in Poor Gary's glen after scaring him) - &quot;Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go. Let go!&quot;<br /> **'''&quot;robe&quot;'''<br /> ***(if the robe is not in your inventory) - &quot;You don't have anything but your 'Scalding Lake' t-shirt. And pants. Forgot to mention the pants.&quot;<br /> ***(if you are already wearing the robe) - &quot;You're already in the old skool robe. Represent.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;what the f&amp;mdash;&quot;''' ''([[Swears|uncensored version]])''&lt;!--actually &quot;what the fuck&quot;--&gt; (anywhere) - &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot;<br /> *'''&quot;where&quot;''' (anywhere) - Tells you where you are.<br /> *'''&quot;why&quot;''' (anywhere) - &quot;I wish I knew.&quot;<br /> <br /> ===X===<br /> <br /> ===Y===<br /> *&quot;'''Yes'''&quot; (to the Jhonka when he asks you about his riches)- &quot;'I KILL YOU!!' screams the Jhonka. ''{The Jhonka clubs you to death}'' Club or turkey leg, the jhonka sure just beat you senseless with whatever he was holding. You dead. Thanks for playing!&quot; '''Warning:''' Obviously, you will die.<br /> <br /> ===Z===<br /> <br /> ===Action Based===<br /> '''Warning:''' All of the below will kill you.<br /> <br /> *'''(Walk too close to the Kerrek)''' - ''{The Kerrek pounds your head into the ground}'' Your mom always told you not to take head poundings from strange Kerreks. And NOW looks what's happened. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Walk in the path of Dongelev's arrows)''' - ''{Dongolev shoots you in the head}'' That guy has no sense. He shot you. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Nice one, William Tell. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Leave the screen after putting the baby in the bucket)''' - Nice try. Ditch the baby at the bottom of the well, eh? Thought you'd be able to just walk away and it's nothing by mead and wenches from now on, huh? Well guess what? You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Hit by rock or pterodactyl when climbing the cliff)''' - ''{You fall to the ground and lie in a heap}'' Oops! You climbed real bad. You knew that you were AVOIDING the rocks, right? Not collecting them. Anyways, nice try. You dead. Thanks for playing.<br /> *'''(Walk too close to Trogdor while he's asleep)''' - ''{Trogdor burninates you without waking up}'' Yow. Looks like you got a little too close. You dead. Maybe next time don't get too close.<br /> <br /> {{Peasant's Quest}}<br /> [[Category:Peasant's Quest]] [[Category:Lists]]</div> Sun, 17 Jun 2007 23:07:35 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Talk:Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Deliberately_Poor_English <p>GWR 2004:&#32;/* A Lack of Intelligible Speech */ formatting</p> <hr /> <div>[[Image:gameoverstummyhurts.png|thumb|Bad English this is.]]<br /> '''Poor English''' is often deliberately used in the [[Homestar Runner universe]].<br /> <br /> ==Appearances==<br /> <br /> *Email [[english paper]] &amp;mdash; Strong Bad spells English as &quot;Englilsh&quot; in the report's title, ridiculing the e-mail sender's spelling of the word.<br /> *Email [[personal favorites]] &amp;mdash; One of the sayings by the [[Grape Nuts Robot]] during the Easter egg at the end is &quot;Now spell, 'Carp for brains'&quot;; it really meant to say, &quot;[[Crap]] [[For Brains|for brains]]&quot;.<br /> *[[Population: Tire]] &amp;mdash; The game's premise contains several instances of poor English, including &quot;YOU ARE SOLDIER!&quot; and &quot;YOU ONE ARE OF BRAVE FEW&quot;. <br /> *Email [[caffeine]] &amp;mdash; When the caffeine's effect start to wear off, [[Strong Sad]] says, &quot;...salad...salad...as a rock?&quot;<br /> *[[Thy Dungeonman]] &amp;mdash; If the player beats the game, the game gives a &quot;congraturation&quot;.<br /> *[[Videro Games]] &amp;mdash; [[Strong Bad]] complains about difficult video games that only reward with &quot;a hearty CONGRATURATION!&quot; <br /> *[[Stinkoman 20X6]] &amp;mdash; This game has many instances of &quot;[[Wikipedia:Engrish|Engrish]]&quot;, such as &quot;My stummy hurts&quot; (pluralized as &quot;Our stummies hurts&quot;) which also counts as a [[portmanteau]], &quot;Keep try&quot;, and &quot;Start Play&quot;.<br /> *[[Vector Strong Bad]] often uses poorly-translated lines like &quot;YOUR HEAD A SPLODE!&quot; He also pronounces &quot;hello&quot; as &quot;HELLOTE&quot; (seen in the email [[alternate universe]]).<br /> *[[Sundae Drivin']] &amp;mdash; As seen in the email [[redesign]], the game includes quotes like &quot;CHERRY GET!&quot; and &quot;YOUR [[G|JAMES]] OVER&quot;.<br /> *Strong Bad's title at [[Crazy Go Nuts University]] is &quot;Prinicpal&quot;.<br /> *Email [[isp]] &amp;mdash; Homestar, as an insincere telephone recording, says &quot;Thank you for holding. Your call is very unportant to us.&quot; <br /> *Email [[trading cards]] &amp;mdash; When Strong Bad is describing The Cheat's trading card game, the phrase flashing on the screen is &quot;PLAY GET!&quot; <br /> *Email [[strong badathlon]] &amp;mdash; While advertising [[Minor Foods|Temporarios]], Strong Bad says, &quot;'Cause I'm don't get paid!&quot; <br /> <br /> <br /> ==See Also==<br /> *[[Mans]]<br /> *[[Non-inverted Questions]]<br /> *[[Jumbled Words]]<br /> *[[Poorly Written Emails]]<br /> *[[Be's]]<br /> *[[Malapropisms]]<br /> <br /> ==A Lack of Intelligible Speech==<br /> <br /> A few [[characters]], as well as their respective counterparts in [[1936]] and [[20X6]], have an apparent '''lack of intelligible speech'''. However, the audience is usually able to understand the basics what these characters attempt to communicate, either through their actions and facial expressions, through other intelligible-speaking characters' reactions, or, rarely, through on-screen subtitles.<br /> ===Appearances===<br /> *[[The Cheat]] speaks only in squeaks and animal-sounding grunts and yelps. In [[cheat talk]], after failing to get him to say something normal like &quot;Douglas&quot;, it is suggested that the viewers have to learn how to speak &quot;The Cheat&quot;. Subsequently, in an Easter egg of that same email, a short recording teaches a few phrases of the indecipherable language. The Cheat's [[Old-Timey]] counterpart, [[The Sneak]], communicates only by wiggling his nose, and his [[20X6]] counterpart, [[Cheatball]], has yet to say anything beyond his own name, which may be in parody of Pokémon.<br /> *[[Pom Pom]] speaks through sounds resembling bubbles. Like The Cheat, every character shows a clear and definitive understanding of his speech. In [[A Jumping Jack Contest]], Strong Bad attempts to pose as Pom Pom by, among other things, mimicking his speech: &quot;Hey, give me that! Uh, I mean — bubble, bubble-dee-bubble. Dubble Bubble.&quot; Also, in [[senior prom]], Homestar accepts the prom king award on Pom Pom's behalf, and in doing so, gargles [[Listerine]] in an attempt to imitate his friend. Pom Pom's old-timey counterpart, [[Fat Dudley]], speaks by singing a simple, jazzy &quot;boh-boh-boh&quot; tune. His 20X6 counterpart, [[Pan Pan]], speaks by making a bouncing noise.<br /> *[[Sherlock]], the helicopter/cow from Strong Bad's [[Sweet Cuppin' Cakes]], speaks only through indistinct mumbling. No other character has shown or demonstrated the ability to understand what Sherlock has ever &quot;said&quot;.<br /> *Although [[Strong Mad]] can be understood most of the time, his [[Old-Timey]] counterpart [[Strong Man]] does not speak, although he does growl and roar when appropriate.<br /> *[[The Poopsmith]] has been noted as having taken a [[Wikipedia:Vow of silence|vow of silence]], but is still able to communicate in some ways. An ironic example of this was when, in [[senior prom]] The Poopsmith was the lead vocalist of [[All the King's Men!]]. Since, unlike other characters, The Poopsmith makes almost no vocal sounds at all, he seems to communicate mainly in the form of gestures such as shrugs of the shoulders and thumbs-up; additionally, he has communicated by holding up a written sign. In [[different town]], Strong Bad claimed that one thing he would change about his town is that &quot;the Poopsmith ... could talk&quot;.<br /> <br /> ==See Also==<br /> <br /> *[[Analysis of Homsar's Speech Patterns]]<br /> *[[Non-inverted Questions]]<br /> <br /> [[Category:Word running gags]]</div> Sun, 17 Jun 2007 00:36:12 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Talk:Deliberately_Poor_English http://hrwiki.org/wiki/from_work <p>GWR 2004:&#32;/* Transcript */ Meh...</p> <hr /> <div>{{sbenav|169}}<br /> [[Image:from work.png|thumb|&quot;D'wanna know what ''my'' dream job would be?&quot;]]<br /> <br /> Strong Bad answers an email from work.<br /> <br /> '''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{film|Strong Bad}}, {{film|Bubs}}, {{film|Strong Sad}}, {{film|Homestar Runner}}, {{film|Pom Pom}}<br /> <br /> '''Places:''' [[The Office]]<br /> <br /> {{Comp|Corpy NT6}}<br /> <br /> '''Date:''' April 9, 2007<br /> <br /> '''Running Time:''' 3:24<br /> <br /> '''Page Title:''' Corpy NT6!<br /> <br /> ==Transcript==<br /> ''{Close-up of the lower half of Strong Bad's face. He holds his hand over his mouth.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sotto voce}'' Shhh! Shut up, you guys! I'm checkin' email from work today, and I can't let The Man know what I'm up to!<br /> <br /> ''{Cut to Strong Bad typing on a computer with a grey monitor that reads &quot;Corpy NT6&quot;}'' <br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' Oh, tiptoe your fingers 'cross the keyboard for the quietest email you can check.<br /> <br /> ''{A buzzer is heard. An error message with a picture of a hand blocking a basketball appears with the text &quot;BLOCKED! Back to work, drone!&quot; The box shakes when the buzzer plays.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Oh, man. They got everything blocked now. Even those awesome pop-up insurance ads with the cool mini-games in 'em. I tasered that gnome like ten times! ''{stops typing}'' Good thing The Cheat hooked me up with this Cheatware!<br /> <br /> ''{Strong Bad holds up a yellow 3.5&quot; diskette with black spots; the label reads &quot;Cheatware ver. 2.1&quot; and has an ASCII drawing of The Cheat. He puts it in the computer. The text &quot;Grandmaw Edgar's Corporate Firewall Get-Arounder&quot; appears on the screen with a picture of an old woman and a brick wall. The screen changes to an animation of the old woman pole vaulting over the wall into an envelope.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, nice work, pixel-Granny! Undermine those corporate oppressors on witcha bad self! ''{brings up email}''<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- The blue bar (no white to it) appears under the message. Can a template be created though? --&gt;<br /> &lt;blockquote class=&quot;lappy email&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;<br /> Dear Strong Bad,&lt;br&gt;<br /> If you could have any job in the whole&lt;br&gt;<br /> world, regardless of how much it pays, what&lt;br&gt;<br /> would you have?&lt;br&gt;<br /> From The Nitwon<br /> &lt;/blockquote&gt;<br /> <br /> ''{Strong Bad reads &quot;The Nitwon&quot; as &quot;The Nittle One&quot;}}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' You ask like I haven't told you guys a million times... ''{drumroll sounds; Strong Bad clears screen}'' I'd be a 2nd 2nd Assistant Space Whale Scrubber! ''{&quot;tada&quot; sound effect; the words &quot;Space Whale Scrubber&quot; flash in many colors}'' Cause &lt;!--sic--&gt; those are the ones that get to wear that glittery pantsuit and use a lazormop to scrub all the nudules and crudules off the whale's dorsal ridge! ''{Crickets chirp. Strong Bad looks around.}'' Umm, shouldn't we be seeing some of this by now?<br /> <br /> '''BUBS:''' ''{offscreen}'' Baghh!<br /> <br /> ''{Cut to view of Bubs standing behind Strong Bad, who is facing him}''<br /> <br /> '''BUBS:''' Sorry, Strong Bad! The suits had me install a firewall on your imagination! All that free thinking was wasting the company's cost money!<br /> <br /> ''{Close up of Strong Bad's face}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, that's it! I am totally never gonna quit this job but start complaining about it a little bit more!<br /> <br /> ''{Back to view Strong Bad and Bubs}''<br /> <br /> '''BUBS:''' Well, I'd better get back to tasering that gnome! Err, I mean, upgrading the taser in that gnome! Server!<br /> <br /> ''{return to view of Strong Bad in front of the Corpy}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Well, I guess I could try and describe it using work approved methods. ''{clears screen, brings up a blank graph}'' Let's see: ''{types, the words appear in red above the graph}'' Why 2nd 2nd Assistant Space-Whale Scrubber is My Dream Job. Twenty percent pantsuit ''{a green bar comes up from the bottom of the graph with &quot;20%&quot; written on it and &quot;pantsuit&quot; written under it}'', seventeen percent space-whale proximity... ''{a shorter purple bar comes up with &quot;17%&quot; written on it and &quot;space-whale proximity&quot; written under it}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG SAD:''' ''{offscreen}'' Hey, cube neighbor!<br /> <br /> ''{Cut to Strong Sad looking at Strong Bad over the side of his cubicle}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG SAD:''' My work staysh is asking me if I want to log off or log out. Which one do I choose?<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' Pffft! Stupid temp. You don't know the difference between logging off and logging out?<br /> <br /> '''STRONG SAD:''' Well, no. Back when I was in charge of the schwa sound at dictionary.com they used to...<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{interrupting}'' Look, just hold down escape, control, tab, alt, both shifts, num lock and the little squiggly until your screen turns blue. Then, stare at it until your shift ends. <br /> <br /> '''STRONG SAD:''' Oh, thanks! <br /> <br /> ''{Strong Sad Goes back down into his own cubicle. Cut back to Strong Bad in front of the Corpy.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Okay. Back to the, back to the sbemail. Let's talk about dorsal ridges!<br /> <br /> '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' You wanna know what&amp;mdash;<br /> <br /> ''{Cut to Homestar Runner behind Strong Bad}''<br /> <br /> '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''my'' dream job would be?<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' No. I mean, no. I mean, no.<br /> <br /> '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I'd be the guy&amp;mdash;<br /> <br /> ''{Cut to a shot of blue sky with clouds}''<br /> <br /> '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:'''&amp;mdash;that flies around ''{Homestar Runner falls onto and starts riding a large flying goldfish}'' on that big plastic goldfish, painting the clouds with an oversized novelty toothbrush!<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' Hey! How come your imagination's working?<br /> <br /> ''{Cut back to Homestar Runner and Strong Bad}''<br /> <br /> '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, I got admin privileges! It helps when you're best friends with the Big Cheese!<br /> <br /> ''{Zoom out; Pom Pom is behind Homestar with sunglasses above his eyes and carrying a bicycle with the text &quot;[...]IG CHEESE&quot;}''<br /> <br /> '''POM POM:''' ''{bubble noises}''<br /> <br /> '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Agh! ''{jumps, turns around}'' The Big Cheese!<br /> <br /> '''POM POM:''' ''{bubble noises}''<br /> <br /> '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{bends over with a sad look}'' Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. Right away, sir. Hallelujah, sir. ''{Pom Pom and Homestar Runner begin to walk offscreen}'' I'll have that DNA evidence on your desk by five.<br /> <br /> ''{Back to Strong Bad in front of the Corpy}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' Nevermind, Nitwit. Checking sbemails at the office is not worth the trouble. I dunno how all those bloggers do it. Oh well. I guess I'd better get back to woik. <br /> <br /> ''{Screen clears; a message appears saying &quot;Would you like to:&quot;; there are two buttons, one that says &quot;Log off&quot;, one that says &quot;Log out&quot;}''.<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{mumbles, typing noises}'' 'Scape... tab... squiggly... ''{with each type, a word appears onscreen: &quot;esc.ctrl.tab.alt.shift.shift.numlock.~.&lt;&quot;}''<br /> <br /> '''{Compy 386 startup/Flagrant System Error sound; blue screen with the words &quot;TEMP LOG OFF/OUT ERROR&quot; and &quot;Oh you are SOOOO not gonna work here again!&quot; comes up. The Paper comes down.}''<br /> <br /> ''{After about 7 seconds}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, gonna be a long one. I haven't even taken my first sit-in-the-men's-room-and-play-Tetris-for-an-hour break yet.<br /> <br /> ==Easter Eggs==<br /> [[Image:Taser gnome.PNG|thumb|Low rates and percent signs]]<br /> *Click on the [[Dullard]] when Strong Sad appears to bring up a Dullard comic.<br /> *Click on &quot;work&quot; at the end after Strong Bad's comment to play &quot;Taser the Gnome For Low Rates.&quot;<br /> <br /> ==Fun Facts==<br /> ===Explanations===<br /> *A [[Wikipedia:Firewall|firewall]] is meant to protect a computer from unwanted connections.<br /> *A [[Wikipedia:Temporary work|temp]] is a short-term worker.<br /> *A [[Wikipedia:Blog|blog]], or &quot;weblog&quot;, is a journal-like user generated website.<br /> *[[Wikipedia:The Man|The Man] is a term from the 60's used to describe corporate leaders and people with significant influence in the lives of their subordinates, ie. Politicians or an office manager. It is often associated with a negative connotation, as 60's movements which used the term tended to resist the influence of men and women who could be considered &quot;The Man.&quot;<br /> *&quot;Insurance games&quot; is a reference to online advertisements from companies, like LowerMyBills.com and FreePay, that feature Flash-based games which lead to the company's website when played.<br /> *The screen turning blue is a reference to the [[Strong Bad's Computer Malfunctioning#System Errors|Blue Screen of Death]], a [[Wikipedia:Microsoft Windows|Windows]] system error screen.<br /> *A [[Wikipedia:Schwa|schwa]] is a unstressed, neutral vowel, represented by an ə (an upside down e).<br /> *The squiggly (~) is known as the [[Wikipedia:Tilde|tilde]].<br /> *&quot;Corpy&quot; is a [[Portmanteaus|portmanteau]] of [[Wikipedia:Corporation|corporation]] and [[Compy 386|Compy]].<br /> <br /> ===Remarks===<br /> *The sound made by the computer when the Cheatware disk is put in is the noise made by many old 5.25&quot; floppy drives. This was also heard in [[Peasant's Quest Preview]], [[Peasant's Quest]], and [[Thy Dungeonman 3]]. &lt;!-- This edition was shorter and louder --&gt;<br /> *The tune to the opening email song that this email has is similar to that of [[trading cards]].<br /> *Several lights can be seen in the Corpy's reflection.<br /> *The polos that Homestar and Strong Bad are wearing are different than the ones they wore on Biz Caz Fri in the email [[other days]].<br /> <br /> ===Goofs===<br /> *The Dullard comic is not visibly attached to the wall in any way, as the thumbtack does not actually go through the comic.<br /> <br /> ===Inside References===<br /> <br /> *This is the fifth email running to mention [[DNA Evidence]].<br /> *Strong Sad previously said &quot;staysh&quot; in [[Missing Lappy]].<br /> *This is another program mentioning [[Edgar]].<br /> *Using a lazormop to scrub all the nudules and crudules off the space whale's dorsal ridge is another example of [[Lasers]].<br /> *One of the items in Bubs's tool belt is a [[Permanent Marker|permanent marker]].<br /> *Bubs spoke of The Man in [[Cool Things]].<br /> <br /> ===Real-World References===<br /> *[http://dictionary.reference.com Dictionary.com] is an actual online dictionary.<br /> *Products advertised in the Taser the Gnome easter egg are a [[Wikipedia:XBox|Microsoft Xbox]], an [[Wikipedia:iPod Video|iPod Video]], and a [[Wikipedia:PlayStation Portable|PlayStation Portable (PSP)]], all common &quot;prizes&quot; for playing the game ads which the Gnome Tasering game is parodying.<br /> *[[Wikipedia:Tetris|Tetris]] is an extremely well-known and often imitated video game created by [[Wikipedia:Alexey Pajitnov|Alexey Pajitnov]], and has been ported to several video game consoles.<br /> *The &quot;Corpy [[Wikipedia:Windows NT|NT6]]&quot; is a reference to [[Wikipedia:Windows_Vista|Windows Vista]], which is sometimes referred to within Microsoft as [[Wikipedia:Windows NT|NT6]].<br /> <br /> ==External Links==<br /> {{sbemailextlinks|169|{{{2|11151}}}}}<br /> <br /> {{Strong Bad Email}}</div> Tue, 10 Apr 2007 01:52:41 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Talk:from_work http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Talk:Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses <p>GWR 2004:&#32;/**/What the...?</p> <hr /> <div>This page would be much better if it was organized somehow. It's a pain having to hunt through every response to see if something is added or not. I'm thinking alphabetically, with bullets for each response. Any thoughts? [[User:Crystallina|Crystallina]] 04:52, 2 Jun 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> I'm on it. And please, for the love of Strong Bad, SIGN YOUR POSTS. Thank you. -[[User:BurninatorBoombox&amp;Markie|&lt;font color=DC143C&gt;MK and/or BurnBox&lt;/font&gt;]] 02:36, 2 Jun 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> Whoops. Sorry about that, forgot the tildes. I'll help out some, since I'm already here... Just a few questions while I'm editing. I notice you have a # - is this the de facto 'Miscellaneous' option or should one be added? Glancing over the list of unsorted facts there are some that would fit into that category... Also, a few of them seem to fit better under the Fun Facts section rather than responses. [[User:Crystallina|Crystallina]] 04:52, 2 Jun 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> New question. Do we want the actual responses or will that be too 'spoiler-y'? The facts are inconsistent in this. [[User:Crystallina|Crystallina]] 17:37, 2 Jun 2005 (UTC)<br /> *Thy Dungeonman has the responses, so I'm going to go ahead and add the responses here as well. Or at least start on it. [[User:Crystallina|Crystallina]] 02:42, 3 Jun 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == almost done ==<br /> <br /> Ok, I made all the letters organized like the letter ''A'' (Bullets and stuff). Now all we need to do is to clear this &quot;Miscellaneous&quot; part. I'm not much of a PQ player, so if any one can get those varified quickly, it would be much aprishiated. {{User:E.L. Cool/sig}} 10:52, 3 Sep 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Points Responses ==<br /> <br /> Do we want to list the responses to actions that aquire points (such as &quot;close drawer&quot; when it is open)?[[User:SparkPlug|SparkPlug]] 19:38, 24 November 2005 (UTC)<br /> :Yes. Which has been done. {{User:Bubsty/sig}} 18:58, 10 December 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> Why is this only the negative responses?<br /> <br /> :Annony, can you elaborate on what you mean? {{User:Invisible_Robot_Fish/sig}} 16:24, 7 November 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == wheres the funniest bit of the whole freaking game ==<br /> the script when the baby goes off 2 live a life of its own and blame rather dashing?<br /> --[[User:220.233.125.119|220.233.125.119]] 07:58, 12 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :It looks to me like these are responses to non-productive actions, i.e., those that don't actually help you make any progress in the game. So, that's why that line isn't there. I think. {{User:Heimstern Läufer/sig}} 08:02, 12 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> Well than shouldn't we at least put them ''somewhere''? It makes sense to put them somewhere on the wiki. --[[User:68.249.171.209|68.249.171.209]] 18:43, 23 November 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::Unless I'm missing something, they ''aren't'' on the wiki, which is a major oversight... We should definitely transcribe those and give them a page, perhaps at [[Peasant's Quest Walkthrough Responses]] if we don't want to make [[Peasant's Quest Walkthrough]] too long. Should we make a separate page, or combine it with this one? {{User:Trey56/sig}} 19:17, 23 November 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::Hmm, both ideas have their merits... I think the [[Thy Dungeonman 3|Thy Dungeonman]] responses mix in all of them. They do it by area, but I guess ours is alphabetical here... --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]]<br /> ::::I'm going to go ahead and put them in walkthrough order, and put them somewhere, (probably in a new section on [[Peasant's Quest Walkthrough]]), and we can move them later if desired. {{User:Trey56/sig}} 06:56, 24 November 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::::[[dangeresque 3|Sounds like a plan.]] --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]]<br /> ::::::Okay, [[Peasant's Quest Walkthrough#Peasant's Quest Walkthrough Messages|here's my rough draft]]. Anyone's welcome to proofread, revise, reformat, or move those as they see fit. {{User:Trey56/sig}} 09:20, 24 November 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::::::What about the whole spiel by the knight about not smelling and being on fire? --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]]<br /> ::::::::So, I only put down the messages you get by doing things you ''had'' to do. But that was just for a start; the one you mentioned, and others, should go in, as soon as I, or somebody else, gets around to it, unnecessary comma. :) {{User:Trey56/sig}} 05:49, 25 November 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::::::::I would, but I'm lazy. --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]]<br /> <br /> == Crank rusted in place ==<br /> <br /> Recently I discovered that when you type &quot;look crank&quot; you get the response &quot;It looks rusted in place&quot;. I added this to the responses but someone deleted it, believeing it to be not real. So I took a screenshot to prove its realty. --[[User:Eric Mushroom Wilson|Eric Mushroom Wilson]]<br /> [[Image:RustedInPlace.PNG|thumb]]<br /> :When does this occur? After the Kerrek Rain would make sense... --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]]<br /> ::I think it happens any time as long as you haven't put the pebbles in the bucket and got the maskus... --[[User:Eric Mushroom Wilson|Eric Mushroom Wilson]]<br /> <br /> == Table of Contents ==<br /> <br /> Is there a way to add the TOC with just the five major sections at the top? That would include Walkthrough Messages, The Three Keepers' Messages, Constructive Conversations, Useful Documents, and Miscellaneous Messages. This page is ridiculously long, so it would be nice to have links to each of the sections at the top without including the links to each of the letters in the last section. We could do it manually, I guess, but then we'd have to update it if any further sections are added... {{User:Trey56/sig}} 03:04, 27 November 2006 (UTC)<br /> :Somehow the use of the alpha index spoils it. I wish I could see an immediate fix. {{User:Qermaq/sig}} 03:08, 27 November 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::Well, you could fake it and hard-code something in the page that just looks like the TOC, like [http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=Songs&amp;oldid=342791 Songs used to have]... it won't have the show/hide link, and it won't auto-update when you add new sections, but it'll work. {{User:Phlip/sig}} 03:23, 27 November 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::Good idea &amp;mdash; added. {{User:Trey56/sig}} 03:31, 27 November 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Extra Misc. Messages ==<br /> <br /> There are at least two other messages in the game that don't relate to the walkthrough, and aren't the result of a specific typed message, and I don't know where to put them. None of the categories seem to fit. <br /> <br /> Typing anything &amp;mdash; be it an otherwise real response or complete gibberish &amp;mdash; while the pot is on your head will give the response:<br /> &lt;blockquote&gt;You need to get out of there before that smelly octogenarian gets back.&lt;/blockquote&gt; <br /> <br /> If you enter any screen other than the Jhonka's cave whilst disguised as a haystack, the wind will blow away your disguise:<br /> &lt;blockquote&gt;Drat. The winds are heavy on all but a couple of key screens... looks like you're no longer in stealth mode.&lt;/blockquote&gt; <br /> <br /> As they aren't conversations, notes, or areas, are not necessary to complete the game, and do not appear as a reply to a specific text command, they don't fit any of the other categories on the page, and I dunno where to put 'em. Ideas? --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]]<br /> <br /> :Hm...we could lump these two together with the conversations and notes into something like &quot;Miscellaneous Quest-related Messages&quot;? Or we could think up a new category for the two you brought up. But since the conversations and notes sections were sort of artificially contrived anyway, I lean towards the lumping approach. {{User:Trey56/sig}} 05:28, 18 December 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::Lumping sounds good... And I hope that'll be every last bit of text now... --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]]<br /> :::Okay, finally, I think we're done. {{User:Trey56/sig}} 07:18, 9 January 2007 (UTC)<br /> ::::Finally. Took long enough. =3 --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]]<br /> :::::Yeah, seriously. I couldn't figure out a satisfactory way to lump the sections without disorganizing everything. =4 (a guy with a paper airplane sailing past his mouth) {{User:Trey56/sig}} 07:26, 9 January 2007 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == What the...? ==<br /> <br /> I'm not so sure it's a great idea to put this one on the list or not, but here goes. When you type &quot;what the f***&quot; (the uncensored version) into the prompt, the game responds with &quot;Come now. Don't get discouraged.&quot; Suggestions? {{User:gwr2004/sig}} 06:43, 6 April 2007 (UTC)</div> Fri, 06 Apr 2007 06:43:42 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Talk:Peasant%27s_Quest_Responses http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Cakkalate <p>GWR 2004:&#32;it is ability... ?</p> <hr /> <div>[[Image:cakkalate.png|thumb|&quot;I can make mine say Oboe Shoes!&quot;|150px]]<br /> The '''Cakkalate''' is a simple solar calculator owned by [[Strong Bad]]. He seems to think that it is [[Strong Bad's Technology|high tech]], even though it doesn't even have a decimal point, or an equals button. It does have a Memory Clear button, but no way to store or retrieve numbers in the memory. It has more window space than a regular solar calculator, and it somehow has the ability to insert spaces. Strong Bad claims that it is &quot;the future of technology&quot; since it is wireless. Originally noted for its ability to display &quot;54045 3080&quot; as &quot;OBOE ShOES&quot; when turned upside-down, it is also able to display symbols like &amp;#8869;, &amp;#8745; and X, needed to display &quot;BUTT X 2&quot; when inverted.<br /> <br /> The spelling is a reference to how Strong Bad pronounced &quot;calculations&quot; in [[space program]].<br /> <br /> ==Appearances==<br /> *'''Debut:''' Email [[technology]]<br /> *Email [[theme song]]<br /> [[Category:Electronics]]</div> Thu, 10 Aug 2006 02:06:05 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Talk:Cakkalate http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:JoeyDay <p>GWR 2004:&#32;Forum Problems</p> <hr /> <div>{{User:JoeyDay/talk archive}}<br /> Welcome to Joey's talk page. This is not the general help desk of the Wiki. If you need help, go to the [[HRWiki:FAQ|FAQ]] page or visit the [http://forum.hrwiki.org forum] and use the help desk there. If you absolutely need an answer from me or if you have comments, feel free to leave them below.<br /> <br /> '''If you leave a support question here and it disappears, look for it in the [[HRWiki:FAQ|FAQ]] or the [[HRWiki talk:FAQ|FAQ talk page]].'''<br /> <br /> &lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot; style=&quot;font-family: georgia, sans-serif; border: 1px dashed #06f; background: #eef; padding: 0.5em; margin: 0.5em 0.5em 1em; text-align: center; font-size: 18px;&quot;&gt;[http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=User_talk:JoeyDay&amp;action=edit&amp;section=new Start a new topic section &amp;raquo;]&lt;/div&gt;<br /> <br /> == Merry Christmas! ==<br /> <br /> Merry Christmas Joey! Have a fun and relaxing holiday. We look forward to a wonderful new year 2006! --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 04:22, 16 December 2005 (UTC)<br /> :Merry Christmas and a Happy Decemberween! See you soon! &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 04:26, 16 December 2005 (UTC)<br /> ::Happy holidays from all of me to all of you. {{User:E.L. Cool/sig}} 05:05, 16 December 2005 (UTC)<br /> :::Don't worry. I will '''PERSONALLY''' ''volunteer'' [[User:Tom|Tom]] and [[User:It's dot com|Com]] to fill in for you while you're gone. (I'll be housesitting on and off until January, so I won't be around as much either). {{User:Thunderbird L17/Siggie}} 17:10, 16 December 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> <br /> == so, what do you do all day? ==<br /> <br /> no, i'm not saying that you should do anything beside this. if you didn't, think of where we would be. it's just, my family and others make fun of me and this website. they think half of the stuff on this website is useless garbage. does anyone else think we're wasting our time obsessing about a website? well, see ya. you are the coolest person i know. [[User:Seriously|Seriously]] 23:53, 29 December 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Happy New Year! ==<br /> <br /> I know it's a little late, I just wanted to wish you a happy new year, and may you continue looking over us and the great wiki of ours! {{User:E.L. Cool/sig}} 10:41, 2 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Guest Star ==<br /> <br /> You may be an almighty bure- thingy, and I might be an office worker, but I will included you, with many other sysops/bure-thing in my email [http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/index.php/X-Mail.eXe thingy.] I just need ask you one question: Do you want to be a guest star? If not, I will remove all data relating to you in my show. If so... let the emails go on! [http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/index.php/User:Count_X Count X]<br /> <br /> == How did you become an admin. ==<br /> <br /> Did one of the admins or mods make you one? Congrats on becoming an admin of the site!!! 13:16, 19 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :JoeyDay originally founded HRWiki. It was at this point that the MediaWiki software set his rights to ''developer''. Additionally, the term ''mod'' means nothing. The correct term is ''sysop''. &amp;mdash; {{User:Lapper/sig}} 13:20, 19 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ::What Lapper is saying is that, JoeyDay is one of the few people who is beyond sysop-hood - bureaucrat or something {{User:Count X/sig}}<br /> <br /> :::Developer, actually. Bureaucrat is one step below that. Thank you for your additional input, Count X. &amp;mdash; {{User:Lapper/sig}} 01:58, 23 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ::::Although, like all members of the Admin Team, JoeyDay is a developer, bureaucrat, sysop, and user. &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 02:14, 23 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Question ==<br /> How do I know when a TriviaTime match is going on? {{User:LePorello/sig}} 21:53, 11 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> :Join [irc://irc.freenode.net/hrwiki-trivia #hrwiki-trivia] and see if the user 'TriviaTime' is in there. If so, type '!trivia start'. &lt;span style=&quot;font-family: tw cen mt; font-variant: small-caps;&quot;&gt;[[User:Ed smildE|Ed smilde]]/[[User talk:Ed smildE|talk]]&lt;/span&gt;<br /> ::It always gives me that &quot;page cannot be displayed&quot; screen. Also EdS, did you mean to put that exclamation point next to &quot;trivia&quot; up there?{{User:LePorello/sig}} 02:01, 18 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::TriviaTime hasn't been in the chat channel for nearly two months, and when he returns he'll likely be running on a different system, meaning these instructions may no longer apply. &amp;mdash; {{User:JoeyDay/sig}} 21:12, 19 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::OK. {{User:LePorello/sig}} 00:15, 20 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == hm....i smell procrastination... ==<br /> i have realized that you have changed the notice about the vacation on your page twice....are you just unsure of when your vacation is going to end, or are you laying it off? {{User:Seriously/sig}} 00:52, 25 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :It would be more like Joey Day has a lot of stuff that he needs to take care of in real life. I am sure once he has completed everything he has to take care of he will have more time to devote to the wiki. It is common for many of us to have to set the wiki aside due to our workloads. --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 01:02, 25 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ::Stux has it right. I'm not really taking a vacation. I've been doing some part-time consulting work (a custom web design project using Drupal, which is giving me lots of good experience for whenever I get around to setting up the [http://www.homestarrunner.net Homestar Runner Network]) in addition to my regular full-time job. The project was supposed to be done in early January, but extenuating circumstances (and [[Wikipedia:Scope creep|scope creep]]) have extended the project until at least this coming Monday. We've hit and missed about three proposed deadlines now, so I'm not convinced it will really end on Monday, but we'll see. I hope it's over soon. It's wearing me out. &amp;mdash; {{User:JoeyDay/sig}} 03:32, 25 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::Woah. I didn't think it was that serious. Wait, ''you'' made the homestar runner network? You are the guy in charge of the new website being put together? You work much harder on these things then I ever expected......you deserve cupcakes. {{User:Seriously/sig}} 00:23, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::Perhaps this information might be of use: Joey is also the [[HRWiki:A History|founder and owner]] of this wiki. Pretty impressive huh? I bet you're pretty impressed. --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 03:43, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::::Well yeah, I know that. Everyone does.....right? {{User:Seriously/sig}} 20:45, 28 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::::Huh?? --{{User:The thing/sig}} 22:02, 11 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Back ==<br /> <br /> Are you back! --{{User:The thing/sig}} 14:56, 24 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> :Obviously not. Like he said above, he's setting up the Homestar Runner Netwrk, among other things. Don't worry; he's not gone forever. &amp;mdash; {{User: Seriously/sig}} 01:23, 4 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::''Now'' he's back. [http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=User:JoeyDay&amp;diff=next&amp;oldid=280433 See]. --{{User:The thing/sig}} 23:52, 8 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::Welcome back! Glad to see that you are back. and also glad to see that your stress-o-meter has gone down. {{User:Invisible_Robot_Fish/sig}} 23:17, 9 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == XHTML elements ==<br /> <br /> Hey, I noticed you upgraded some &lt;nowiki&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/nowiki&gt; tags to &lt;nowiki&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/nowiki&gt;, but I recall somewhere in Help where it says we didn't need to worry about it, the system does all that for us. I'll see if I can find the reference. {{User:Qermaq/sig}} 03:58, 10 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> :Not the one I remember, but look [[Help:Editing#Sections, paragraphs, lists and lines|here]]. {{User:Qermaq/sig}} 04:00, 10 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::So wha? {{User:Qermaq/sig}} 08:01, 10 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::I was trying to think of a good reason why I should keep changing them from &lt;nowiki&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/nowiki&gt; to &lt;nowiki&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/nowiki&gt;, but I think you're right. The only thing I could come up with is if someday some MediaWiki upgrade stops auto-correcting them, but why would Wikimedia upgrade their software and remove such a feature? I think we're perfectly safe leaving them as &lt;nowiki&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/nowiki&gt;, so I'll stop correcting them when I see them. I'm something of a perfectionist though, so it'll be hard to resist. :) &amp;mdash; {{User:JoeyDay/sig}} 16:17, 10 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::I hear ya. But I've gotten sloppier as I get older. {{User:Qermaq/sig}} 16:27, 10 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Proprietor status ==<br /> <br /> I noticed you put yourself in the &quot;proprietor&quot; group. What did that do, if anything besides making the line with your name the longest in the admin list? {{User:ACupOfCoffee/sig}} 01:35, 12 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :Please see [[User talk:It's dot com#User groups|User talk:It's dot com &amp;rarr; User groups]]. &amp;mdash; {{User:Lapper/sig}} 01:37, 12 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> Copying from that discussion:<br /> <br /> &lt;blockquote&gt;There is nothing special about the [[Special:Listusers/proprietor|proprietor]] user group. I'm not usually one to be so narcissistic, but I thought it made some sense, and I did it mostly because I could. We've never been able to create custom user groups before MediaWiki 1.5, or I might've created a proprietor group a long time ago. Actually, in a way this is the opposite of narcissistic, as it allows for the possibility of others having proprietorship at some time in the future, and adds a layer of abstraction between myself and the title of proprietor. In the past, we've always linked directly to my user page in places where we mention the proprietor, but we should change all those places to link to the proprietor list. I'll get right on that. &amp;mdash; {{User:JoeyDay/sig}} 23:26, 10 March 2006 (UTC)&lt;/blockquote&gt;<br /> <br /> == Server Upgrade ==<br /> <br /> Just curious, but, what was the server upgrade? {{User:Bluebry muffin/sig}} 15:40, 12 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> : Our network admin installed the latest version of [http://www.cpanel.com CPanel], something that helps us change settings on the server. CPanel isn't publicly accessible (only the five admins can access it), but it is important for maintenance and server administration. &amp;mdash; {{User:JoeyDay/sig}} 22:04, 13 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ::Ah, thanks. And, sorry for the late reply, I was gone for the week. {{User:Bluebry muffin/sig}} 23:34, 18 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Did you ever receive my email? ==<br /> I sent you an email about a month ago, did you ever recieve it? {{User:Invisible_Robot_Fish/sig}} 23:17, 9 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :Just bringing this to the top in case you missed it. {{User:Invisible_Robot_Fish/sig}} 18:46, 14 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ::Thanks for the reminder IRF. Is this about the Word Doc you sent me, or was there some other email I missed? &amp;mdash; {{User:JoeyDay/sig}} 19:36, 14 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :::In the last email that I sent you, I asked if you've had a chance to look through the word doc and I also comment about how much I enjoyed reading the translations study as well as the Speaking the Truth in Love study on the .net site. My wife particularly enjoyed the translations one as she was a history major and she spent a year studying and reading the Tyndale version. {{User:Invisible_Robot_Fish/sig}} 19:48, 14 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :::Oh, I also asked if you design and maintain your websites or does someone else? I have been using your CSS to teach myself CSS. Some of it I still don't what it does. {{User:Invisible_Robot_Fish/sig}} 19:51, 14 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ::::Hm, I'm not sure if I got that email. Yes, I've had time to look through the Word doc, but I haven't had time to pick it apart and really analyze it yet. Perhaps I'll sit down and do that here in the next day or two. Thanks for the comments on the studies I have on my Documentation wiki. I enjoy putting those together and it's good to hear someone is paying attention to them and they aren't just collecting dust. Yes, I do all of my own CSS. Are there particular places you're having trouble understanding? &amp;mdash; {{User:JoeyDay/sig}} 20:45, 14 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :::::There is a really neat story to go along with the word doc as you can probably tell but the begining in italics. I'll have to take the time to write out what happened but I don't have time at the moments. As to the CSS, I'd rather than not clog this place up with a score of non-H*R stuff, I'll shoot you another email. {{User:Invisible_Robot_Fish/sig}} 21:30, 14 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == &lt;Napoleon Dynamite&gt;Yes!&lt;/Napoleon Dynamite&gt; ==<br /> My dad says that I can donate. Which totally rocks. Once the pledge drive begins (or just when he feels like getting off the couch ;)) I'm definitely donating at least 20$. I've used this wiki for a long time, and I figured I should give something back. Thanks for creating such an awesome place! &amp;mdash; {{User: Seriously/sig}} 23:33, 18 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> ==Hi there==<br /> Was it hard for you to start this huge website? I also have my own wiki or at least starting my own. Its here if you want to check it out.[http://www.editthis.info/efilms/index.php/Main_Page]--[[User:H*bad|H*bad]] 22:45, 19 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Hello and Thank You ==<br /> <br /> I Recently saw that I am on your &quot;''Contributors''&quot; Page. Thank You. That is all. {{User:Dacheatbot/sig}} 22:54, 20 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :Sorry to butt in, but what page are you talking aboot? {{User:Has Matt?/sig}} 23:16, 20 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ::[http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=User:JoeyDay/sandbox&amp;oldid=287540 this] {{User:Dacheatbot/sig}} 23:28, 20 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :::I think that's [[User:Lapper|Lapper's]] talk page contributor box. --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]]<br /> <br /> :::'''EDIT CONFLICT:''' Yeah, it is Lapper's, not JoeyDay's. You might have inferred that is was Joey's because it was in his sandbox for a bit while JoeyDay was fixing the formatting (as far as i can remember). Lapper adds anyone who contributes to his talk page on that list. Just clearing things up for ya's. {{User:Has Matt?/sig}} 23:34, 20 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ::::K {{User:Dacheatbot/sig}} 23:36, 20 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Hey ==<br /> <br /> Hey JoeyDay just to let you know that the admin It's Dot Com is deleting pages and restoring him and he's sort of acting like a vandal so can you deadmin him cause he's doing some bad stuff. Also I was asking if you can make me and my friend Tampo admin's please? Please reply to me as soon as possible. Bye --[[User:Master Chief|Master Chief]] 23:49, 23 March 2006 (UTC)Master Chief 17:50pm<br /> <br /> :Thanks for your concern Master Chief, but I haven't seen dot com doing anything vandal-like. Can you provide specific examples of vandalism by It's dot com? As for making you and Tampo admins, we'll certainly keep you in mind. Unfortunately at this time we don't have need for any additional admins. Additionally, we don't usually give people admin privileges simply because they ask for them. When it becomes necessary to appoint new admins, we look for people who have a long history of good edits and positive contributions to the wiki. The best way to be considered for admin privileges is to work hard and organize and carry out projects that gain strong community support. &amp;mdash; {{User:JoeyDay/sig}} 23:54, 23 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ::See the deletion log, Joey. It's Fire Man's talk page, which Dot com calls a vandal talk page. Totally not takin' any sides, {{User:Bluebry muffin/sig}} 23:56, 23 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :::Thanks for keeping us in mind for additional admins. It's dot com did this kind of stuff, he banned my friends account (Fireman) for no reason and he delete's pages and then he restores them. Bye --[[User:Master Chief|Master Chief]] 00:13, 24 March 2006 (UTC)Master Chief 18:13 2006 March 23<br /> ::::Also check the [[Special:Log/block|block log]] and the [[Special:Ipblocklist|blocklist]]. He banned Fire Man with an infinite ban and F.M's innocent. {{User:Tampo/sig}} 01:42, 24 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::::The reason for those pages being deleted was because they were just redirects to people's user pages, and they were not needed. Apparently the only way to get rid of those is to delete them and then restore them again. If you ever want to see the reason for why a page got deleted, just check the reason in parinthises behind the edit in the history or [[Special:Log|Logs]]. &lt;span style=&quot;font-family: tw cen mt; font-variant: small-caps;&quot;&gt;[[User:Ed smildE|Ed smilde]]/[[User talk:Ed smildE|talk]]&lt;/span&gt;<br /> ::::I am unblocking the account in question on a provisional basis. I remind whoever needs to hear it that vandalism and flagrant abuse of the wiki's policies will not be tolerated. &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 07:51, 24 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Purge Button ==<br /> <br /> Ummm....What does the purge button do? {{User:Dacheatbot/sig}} 22:48, 24 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> :It updates your sig. {{User:Tampo/sig}} 22:51, 24 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::Really? But my sig updates autimaticly and why does the front page have one? {{User:Dacheatbot/sig}} 22:54, 24 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::'''EDIT CONFLICT'D:''' It forces all templates on a page to update, such as {{tl|whatsnew}} on the [[Main Page]], or your sig if you change it at some point. --{{User:Venusy/Sig}} 22:57, 24 March 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Old style ==<br /> <br /> Sorry to be a moaner, but I much prefer the WikiMedia style. [[User:Strong Sader|Strong Sader]] 09:36, 1 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> :It would be more prudent to mention this in the [[Talk:Main Page|main discussion]] on the move. --{{User:Jay/sig}} 09:38, 1 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == New Format ==<br /> <br /> Hi. I'm Homsarroks. I haven't talked to you at all, but I would like to discuss this new wiki format. I have found it to be pretty confusing for me to work with. All of this new stuff, the tool bars, the red text...I just can't really handle it. Could you please try to revert to the original Wikimedia format please? It's just so confusing. I would appreciate it if you could get back to me on this when you get the chance. Thanks for reading this.--{{User:Homsarroks/sig}} 17:01, 1 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> :I don't mean to answer for Joey, but I can safely say this is completely permanent. Hopefully, it will look better soon. But in the meantime, this is our only option. &amp;mdash; {{User: Seriously/sig}} 17:03, 1 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::To be honset with you, I was kinda hoping that Joey would answer. He's, like, the creator of the Wiki and I wanted to be able to get a reply from him. Call me pathetic, but I think that it would be cool to talk to the guy that helped to create my second favorite website of all time (after the original homstar runner site, that is!)--{{User:Homsarroks/sig}} 17:16, 1 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::Get in line, man. Autographs are over there. ;) &amp;mdash; {{User: Seriously/sig}} 17:17, 1 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::Hey, wait...That's the death hoooo&lt;small&gt;ooooo&lt;small&gt;ooole&lt;/small&gt;&lt;/small&gt;--{{User:Homsarroks/sig}} 17:22, 1 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::::Okay, Joey, enough's enough. I just saw an IP edit [[User:JelloB|JelloB's user page]]. I don't think people are allowed to edit other people's user pages without permission, so I reverted it. It was unmarked, and no one noticed it because everyone was asking about 'Tavi or some other April Fools joke. Look, that edit went unnoticed for twelve minutes. The joke was funny, but we need to get back on track. Also, the summary said ''I'm just here to change some stuff'', which to me sounds a lot like a vandalism edit, and is nothing like JelloB's actual edit summaries (I checked his contribs). {{User:Bluebry muffin/sig}} 17:27, 1 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::::Bluebry, it is not an April Fool's joke. That is the final time I'm saying it. Thhere's a lot of stuff happening at the server. The troll took advantage of that. Please realize there is nothing we can do if people are a bit hyped up. &amp;mdash; {{User: Seriously/sig}} 17:30, 1 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::::::Seriously, did you know that gullible is not in the dictionary? ;-&gt; And that there is a page stating &quot;Running on MediaWiki 1.5&quot;? Look, it's causing some harm. {{User:Bluebry muffin/sig}} 17:33, 1 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::::::Oh, the page is [[Special:Version|here]] and it's not MediaWiki 1.5, it's MediaWiki 1.5'''.8''' . {{User:Bluebry muffin/sig}} 17:38, 1 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Hey.. ==<br /> <br /> Okay, okay. Go change [[Wikipedia:Homestar Runner Wiki|this page]]. I mean, we are running Wikki Tikki Tavi now, right? So uh, why not? Because we're still running MediaWiki? But that's not true, is it? *cough**cough*[http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=Special%3AAllpages&amp;from=&amp;namespace=8 click here]*cough**cough*. So uh, what is it Joey? Tell us. {{User:Bluebry muffin/sig}} 20:31, 1 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :I've already said this a couple times elsewhere, but we simply copied all the pages from the old wiki to the new one, so the &quot;MediaWiki&quot; namespace is still around. Over the next several months we will be working to move everything from the MediaWiki namespace to a new WikkiTikkiTavi mainspace, but we haven't figured out how to do that yet. Dot Com has a plan to reprogram his palm pilot into a bot that will move the pages automatically, bot I don't really think that will work. Then again, Dot Com's pretty crafty. &amp;mdash; {{User:JoeyDay/sig}} 20:50, 1 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ::May I ask why we have 'Tavi again? {{User:Bluebry muffin/sig}} 21:00, 1 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Toldja so ==<br /> <br /> I told you we should have waited another couple of days before making this move. Now everyone thinks this is a joke! --{{User:Jay/sig}} 21:07, 1 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> :Well &lt;s&gt;Tom&lt;/S&gt; &lt;s&gt;Thunderbird&lt;/s&gt; Jay, that doesn't make him feel any better about it. And besides, it's their fault. I don't know how many times I've told them it's not a joke. &amp;mdash; {{User: Seriously/sig}} 21:09, 1 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::I know. But they're not listening. --{{User:Jay/sig}} 21:10, 1 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::I know We'll just have to get it to them as clear as we can. And that means either putting it on the Main Page, or pulling some outrageous stunt like blocking everybod who doesn't listen. ;) &amp;mdash; {{User: Seriously/sig}} 21:13, 1 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::I don't believe, block me. --[[User:Collin|Collin]] 21:15, 1 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::::I'm starting to. i mean, Joey doesn't lie much, and, I dunno. I'm kinda nuetral now. I mean, maybe their right... {{User:Bluebry muffin/sig}} 21:16, 1 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::::I don't think anyone is stupid enough to make such a change on april fools day. people would be much more accepting otherwise... in my opinion. --[[User:Collin|Collin]] 21:21, 1 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::I think blocking everyone may be going just an ''eensy'' bit too far. Oh, well,they'll all see tomorrow. --{{User:Jay/sig}} 21:30, 1 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::::Y'know, I think I've grown a bit fond of 'tavi. If it leaves, I'll miss it. &amp;mdash; {{User: Seriously/sig}} 02:38, 2 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::::Wow. I believed every excuse you sysops said. Good job. &amp;mdash; {{User: Seriously/sig}} 13:36, 2 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Donation ==<br /> <br /> Did you get my check yet? I just want to make sure. {{User:ACupOfCoffee/sig}} 05:31, 2 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :Yes, I have received your check. I've deposited it, but have yet to transfer it from my bank account into the my PayPal account. I'll list it on the register when that goes through. Thanks for checking up on it and keeping me honest, and thanks especially for your donation. &amp;mdash; {{User:JoeyDay/sig}} 18:11, 2 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::You're welcome. {{User:ACupOfCoffee/sig}} 19:56, 2 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Hi ==<br /> <br /> == It's dot com ==<br /> <br /> Hey JoeyDay this is Master Chief. I need to tell you some stuff. It's Dot Com blamed me and Tampo for vandal sockpuppets when we didn't do anything. Oh yeah could you de-admin Dot Com and then ban him? He is really annoying me and Tampo.--[[User:Master Chief|Master Chief]] 22:58, 10 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :Listen closely, Master Chief: you are playing with fire. The evidence I have against you is circumstancial, but I think I could make it stand up in a court. On the other hand, I have Tampo dead to rights. Incidentally, I have been keeping JoeyDay fully apprised of the situation, so you can post here if you want, but it really isn't necessary. &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 23:05, 10 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ::Master Chief, cut the bullcrap. We know you and Tampo are doing the sock puppetry and the vandalism, and we have server logs to prove it. Everything you do is logged by your IP address on our server. We have logs that show you both signing out of your own accounts and creating new accounts to vandalize the wiki. Lying about it isn't helping the situation at all. Crying to me isn't going to help the situation either. You need to 'fess up to all this and quit doing it or we'll ban you indefinitely. It's that simple. &amp;mdash; {{User:JoeyDay/sig}} 20:19, 11 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Just letting you know ==<br /> <br /> Hi JoeyDay stop giving crap that doesn't exist! We did not create vandal sockpuppets! Dot Com just wants to get us in trouble for no reason.--[[User:Master Chief|Master Chief]] 21:01, 11 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> If you have proof of what kind of sockpuppets we created tell me and Tampo what are they. Me and Tampo DID NOT! Create vandal sockpuppets!--[[User:Master Chief|Master Chief]] 21:06, 11 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :Master Chief, you logged in today as KillerFrenchFry1 and vandalized Dot Com's user page. Stop or you will be banned. &amp;mdash; {{User:JoeyDay/sig}} 21:12, 11 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::What?!?! Really?!?! I must be dreaming. '''Months''' ago on the recent changes for the user &lt;s&gt;creasion&lt;/s&gt; creation log it said KillerFrenchFry1. No seriously. It was true. {{User:Tampo/sig}} 21:28, 11 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::I just checked the [[Special:Log/newusers|user creation log]] and I typed in KillerFrenchFry1 and User:KillerFrenchFry1 and got nothin'. Isn't that weird?!?! {{User:Tampo/sig}} 21:32, 11 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::Hmm. I guess you just weren't [http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=Special%3ALog&amp;type=newusers&amp;user=KillerFrenchFry1 looking hard enough]. &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 21:36, 11 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::::I typed it in the second box instead of the first! That's probably why I [http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=Special%3ALog&amp;type=newusers&amp;user=&amp;page=KillerFrenchFry1 got nothin']! Anyway, it said March 23&lt;sup&gt;&lt;s&gt;st&lt;/s&gt;rd&lt;/sup&gt;. {{User:Tampo/sig}} 21:48, 11 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ::::::Joey didn't say the account was created recently. In fact, we already knew the account was a sockpuppet account of Master Chief, and we &lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=User_talk:Tampo&amp;oldid=303863#Your_friend already told you we knew]&lt;/span&gt; when It's dot com included that account on the list of his sockpuppets in that note on your user talk page.&amp;nbsp;-- [[User:Tom|Tom]] 06:58, 12 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> == Haldo ==<br /> <br /> I was just randomly looking around the Wiki and decided that I would stop by and drop you a line. What's going on with the wiki lately? Anything need doing that a non admin can do to help out? Also, would it be okay for me to add you to my friends list? I mean, you're probably the biggest user around here and probably have done more for the wiki than anyone else. I'd like to honor you for that. What do you think?--{{User:Homsarroks/sig}} 14:56, 17 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :I'm flattered, but I'd have to disagree with your statement about me doing more for the wiki than anyone. I've been relatively inactive for some time now and I'm sure [[User:Tom|Tom]] and lately [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] have done much more for the wiki than I have (and there are many more I could and probably should list). Feel free to add me to your friends list, though. On the wiki I'm friends with everyone (even though some may not be friendly with me). As for things to do, you can always check the discussion at [[HRWiki:Projects]] or [[HRWiki:Da Basement]] for ideas and the latest news and gossip. Cheers! &amp;mdash; {{User:JoeyDay/sig}} 19:33, 17 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Hi ==<br /> <br /> Hey joey. I was just hanging around the wiki like a bad smell and I thought I would check in. How are you and your wife doing? Reply on my talk when you get the chance. Talk atcha later!--{{User:Homsarroks/sig}} 14:56, 18 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Clock ==<br /> <br /> Do you know what I am doing wrong? I entered the javascript code into my monobook.js page, but I still can't see the clock. {{User:Stonecold5987/sig}} 18:47, 25 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :Try a hard refresh. If you're using FireFox, that means holding down shift and pressing the refresh button. You also have to paste ''both'' codes into their respective monobook pages. {{User:Thunderbird L17/Siggie}} 18:49, 25 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ::Thanks. I had to enter in the correct CSS code, I had changed the js code to the one for placing the clock under my personal menu, and forgot to change the CSS code accordingly. Also, do you know how I can fix my user page? The details of the problem are at the bottom of my talk page. {{User:Stonecold5987/sig}} 18:58, 25 April 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::''{Thread Continues At [[User Talk:Stonecold5987]]}''<br /> <br /> == Matt Chapman ==<br /> <br /> Am I reading the Thank You page right? Is ''the'' Matt Chapman one of the donors? If so, that makes him doubly cool. [[User:Point7Q|Point7Q]] 01:54, 6 May 2006 (UTC)<br /> :See [[User:JoeyDay/talk archive 81-100#Congrats]], and the [[The Brothers Chaps%27 Fansite Acknowledgments#Homestar Runner Wiki Acknowledgments|other contents of the envelope]]. &amp;mdash;[[User:AbdiViklas|AbdiViklas]] 02:16, 6 May 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::Thanks! I never would have thought to look there on my own. [[User:Point7Q|Point7Q]] 02:21, 6 May 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Ringtone ==<br /> <br /> Sweet ringtones Joey. I have a Trogdor one myself, but that's because it's the only one I found online. How did you get yours? {{User:E.L. Cool/sig}} 15:07, 24 May 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :Made 'em myself. My new [http://www.jday.us/treo Treo 650] can import any MIDI or WAV file as a ringtone. I used a couple free programs by a company called [http://nch.com.au/ NCH Swift Sound]: one called [http://nch.com.au/switch Switch] to convert the MP3 files into WAV files, and another called [http://nch.com.au/wavepad WavePad] to splice and crop the files. I just cropped them down to 30 seconds or so and saved them as mono, 32 KHz, 16-bit files to accomodate my limited storage space on the device. Although, at 16-bit they still take up a whopping MB and a half each (out of a total 23 MB on the device). 8-bit makes them half that, but then they sound horrible. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Anyway, they sound great, and I'll never again mistake someone else's ring for mine. &amp;mdash; {{User:JoeyDay/sig}} 22:22, 24 May 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ::I think I'll have to use this programs myself. This sounds awesome. {{User:E.L. Cool/sig}} 03:41, 25 May 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == New store address ==<br /> <br /> The new store URL is http://homestarrunner.stores.yahoo.net, and old store URLs redirect accordingly. Could you please change the store link's base URL accordingly?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;<br /> With crap,&lt;br /&gt;<br /> {{User:X-Spider2/X-Sigger2}} [[making out|in Santa Rosa]] (just kidding) 23:07, 11 June 2006 (UTC)<br /> :Thanks, X. I've updated the database and style sheets accordingly. &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 23:40, 11 June 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Forum Problems ==<br /> <br /> The FAQ on this wiki doesn't pertain to the forum, which I can't sign in at. I get a &quot;user inactive&quot; message when signing in and when using the &quot;Forgot your password?&quot; form. {{User:gwr2004/sig}} 21:55, 26 June 2006 (UTC)</div> Mon, 26 Jun 2006 21:55:43 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:JoeyDay http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004 <p>GWR 2004:&#32;inactive</p> <hr /> <div>&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: 'trebuchet ms', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; background-color: #000066; color: #FFFFFF; border: 2px solid #0000FF; padding: 2px; font-size: 110%;&quot; class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #FF0000; padding: 2px; font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;GWR 2004&lt;/div&gt;<br /> &lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;border: 2px solid #FF9900; background-color: #FF0000; color: #FFFFFF;&quot;&gt;''GWR 2004 is inactive. You can [[User_talk:GWR_2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;add to my stack&lt;/span&gt;]] or just [http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=User:GWR_2004&amp;action=purge &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;purge the cache&lt;/span&gt;].''&lt;/div&gt;&lt;!-- &lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;border: 2px solid #FF9900; background-color: #00FF00; color: #000000;&quot;&gt;'''GWR 2004 is Active! You can [[User_talk:GWR_2004|bother me]]!'''&lt;/div&gt; --&gt;<br /> '''No more monospace!'''<br /> __FORCETOC__<br /> {{userboxtop}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#006400|mainbkgd=#ADFF2F|codebkgd=#2E8B57|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:HomsarPotion-ma-jig.png|30px]]|msg=This user enjoys doing '''[[HRWiki:WikiGnome|Gnome work]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF6103|codebkgd=#000000 |codecolor=#FF6103|code=RC|msg=This user patrols '''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent Changes]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#00008B|mainbkgd=#F5F5F5|codebkgd=#0000CD |codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=WP|msg=This user is also on '''[[Wikipedia:User:Gwr2004|Wikipedia]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#DAA520|mainbkgd=#FAFAD2|codebkgd=#F0E68C|codecolor=#000000|code=UN|msg=This user is also on '''&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004 Uncyclopedia]&lt;/span&gt;'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#FFFF00|mainbkgd=#FFFF00|codebkgd=#FF0000|codecolor=#9900FF|code=YIM|msg=This user has an '''&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;Instant message address (that I almost never use, so don't ask me for it)&lt;/span&gt;'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FFFFFF|codebkgd=#000000|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=EM|msg=This user has an '''Email address'''.}}<br /> {{userbox-nc|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FFF|msg=&lt;table width=&quot;100%&quot;&gt;&lt;tr style=&quot;background:#E0F5E1&quot;&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Courier New, monospace&quot;&gt;'''&gt; [[Special:Emailuser/{{PAGENAME}}|Click here]] to'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr style=&quot;background:#E0F5E1&quot;&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Courier New, monospace&quot;&gt;'''email this user'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:qod 2 - strong bad.PNG|35px]]|msg=This user's favorite character is '''[[Strong Bad]]'''.}}<br /> |}<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;About the Formatting&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> No matter how much you try to make your computer screen a piece of paper, all that white will strain your eyes. It's light! It's going to do that! Light text on a dark background will cut down the light and conserve your eyes. Hence, this heavy formatting.<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;About the User&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> === &lt;div style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Time Spent at Home&lt;/div&gt; ===<br /> &lt;table cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; width=&quot;100%&quot;&gt;&lt;tr&gt;<br /> &lt;td style=&quot;background-color: #FF0000;&quot; width=&quot;55%&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #FFFFFF;&quot;&gt;Bedroom&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;background-color: #00FF00; color: #000000;&quot; width=&quot;45%&quot;&gt;Elsewhere&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Basic Information&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> {| style=&quot;background-color: #000099; border: 2px solid #00FFFF; color: #FFFFFF;&quot;<br /> |-<br /> ! Field !! Data<br /> |-<br /> | Age || 14<br /> |-<br /> | Gender || Male<br /> |-<br /> | E-Mail || See the pretty toolbox or the even ''prettier'' userbox!<br /> |-<br /> | State || [[Wikipedia:Missouri|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Missouri&lt;/span&gt;]]<br /> |}<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;The HRWiki and me&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> I've been a member of this fine wiki since October 4, 2004. I mainly fix grammatical and spelling errors and vote in the [useful] [[HRWiki:STUFF|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;STUFF&lt;/span&gt;]]. Occasionally I participate in discussions. [[HRWiki:Da Basement|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;I really don't think trolls will be enough of a problem for me to twart any.&lt;/span&gt;]] Well, here at least, but I am a [[Wikipedia:User:Gwr2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Wikipedian&lt;/span&gt;]]. Now I'm just ramblin', so [[huttah!|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;MOVING ON&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Miscellaneous Crap&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> <br /> ==== &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Interests&lt;/span&gt; ====<br /> *NOT TV... except for news. I'm an infomaniac.<br /> *HRWiki. Duh.<br /> *Wikipedia<br /> *Algebra<br /> *Heavy-duty walking<br /> *Cats... just not 15 or more in the same room.<br /> *Computers... I'm a geek.<br /> *Testing gullibility<br /> <br /> == [http://www.homestarrunner.com/ &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;Homestar Runner&lt;/span&gt;] &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;and '''Him'''&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> '''Come back tomorrow'''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Wiki Contributions&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> Yes, I know this is sad. I just browse the wiki, not recent changes. Maybe that will change some day!<br /> <br /> ''02:25, 14 October 2005 (UTC)''<br /> <br /> ''Reverted '''1''' troll edit.''<br /> <br /> ''Added '''1''' troll to the [[HRWiki:WikiTroll|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;troll list&lt;/span&gt;]].''<br /> <br /> ''Welcomed '''1''' user successfully ('''1''' unsuccessful welcome&amp;mdash;[[User:Nintendork|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Nintendork&lt;/span&gt;]] - odd sitcheeation)''<br /> <br /> ''Joined '''2''' committees:&lt;br /&gt;[[HRWiki:Welcoming committee|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Welcoming Committee&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;br /&gt;[[HRWiki:Recent changes patrol|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Recent Changes Patrol&lt;/span&gt;]]''<br /> <br /> ''Beat the crap out of spelling and grammatical errors and made some text &lt;sup&gt;superscript&lt;/sup&gt;''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Support Spelling, Capitalization, Punctuation, and Grammar!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> I hereby promise that any grammatical or spelling error that is spotted by me will be immediately fixed.<br /> <br /> Examples of misspelling/grammatical errors (somehow, my '''''language arts''''' teacher made these stnanks):<br /> *Common ''curtsey''... (Curtsey? Don't you mean ''courtesy''?)<br /> *make-up work | make up work | makeup work (Um... the first one is the best choice, but at least be consistent!)<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Support Firefox!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> [http://www.getfirefox.com &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;Get Firefox!&lt;/span&gt;]<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Sig!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #FFFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #00FF00; padding: 2px;&quot;&gt;{{User:gwr2004/sig}}&lt;/div&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == {{subst:User:GWR2004/headtemplate|Miscellaneous Crap}} ==<br /> Goodbye, and [http://gwr.gotdns.com &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;This&lt;/span&gt;] is a (my) Website!!! --&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Notes&lt;/span&gt; == --&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Modules&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #FFCCCC; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #00FF00; padding: 2px; overflow: scroll; height: 250px;&quot;&gt;<br /> === What the crap is a module box? ===<br /> You're looking at one right now. These are for sections that can get kinda outta hand. They have their own scroll box so that it's harder to misinterpret the amount of ''actual'' content just by using the mail window's scrollbar. These are useful for user interaction, like the ever-so-popular guestbook (see below). Made by explicitly stating the size in CSS and using a cool property: &lt;code&gt;&amp;lt;div style=&quot;&lt;/code&gt; your other CSS code &lt;code&gt;overflow: scroll; height: &lt;/code&gt;x&lt;code&gt;;&quot;&amp;gt;content&amp;lt;/div&amp;gt;&lt;/code&gt;<br /> &lt;/div&gt; --&gt;<br /> &lt;/div&gt;</div> Wed, 24 May 2006 03:27:37 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004 <p>GWR 2004:&#32;back</p> <hr /> <div>&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: 'trebuchet ms', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; background-color: #000066; color: #FFFFFF; border: 2px solid #0000FF; padding: 2px; font-size: 110%;&quot; class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #FF0000; padding: 2px; font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;GWR 2004&lt;/div&gt;<br /> &lt;!-- &lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;border: 2px solid #FF9900; background-color: #FF0000; color: #FFFFFF;&quot;&gt;''GWR 2004 is inactive. You can [[User_talk:GWR_2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;add to my stack&lt;/span&gt;]] or just [http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=User:GWR_2004&amp;action=purge &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;purge the cache&lt;/span&gt;].''&lt;/div&gt; --&gt;&lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;border: 2px solid #FF9900; background-color: #00FF00; color: #000000;&quot;&gt;'''GWR 2004 is Active! You can [[User_talk:GWR_2004|bother me]]!'''&lt;/div&gt;<br /> '''No more monospace!'''<br /> __FORCETOC__<br /> {{userboxtop}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#006400|mainbkgd=#ADFF2F|codebkgd=#2E8B57|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:HomsarPotion-ma-jig.png|30px]]|msg=This user enjoys doing '''[[HRWiki:WikiGnome|Gnome work]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF6103|codebkgd=#000000 |codecolor=#FF6103|code=RC|msg=This user patrols '''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent Changes]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#00008B|mainbkgd=#F5F5F5|codebkgd=#0000CD |codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=WP|msg=This user is also on '''[[Wikipedia:User:Gwr2004|Wikipedia]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#DAA520|mainbkgd=#FAFAD2|codebkgd=#F0E68C|codecolor=#000000|code=UN|msg=This user is also on '''&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004 Uncyclopedia]&lt;/span&gt;'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#FFFF00|mainbkgd=#FFFF00|codebkgd=#FF0000|codecolor=#9900FF|code=YIM|msg=This user has an '''&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;Instant message address (that I almost never use, so don't ask me for it)&lt;/span&gt;'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FFFFFF|codebkgd=#000000|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=EM|msg=This user has an '''Email address'''.}}<br /> {{userbox-nc|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FFF|msg=&lt;table width=&quot;100%&quot;&gt;&lt;tr style=&quot;background:#E0F5E1&quot;&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Courier New, monospace&quot;&gt;'''&gt; [[Special:Emailuser/{{PAGENAME}}|Click here]] to'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr style=&quot;background:#E0F5E1&quot;&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Courier New, monospace&quot;&gt;'''email this user'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:qod 2 - strong bad.PNG|35px]]|msg=This user's favorite character is '''[[Strong Bad]]'''.}}<br /> |}<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;About the Formatting&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> No matter how much you try to make your computer screen a piece of paper, all that white will strain your eyes. It's light! It's going to do that! Light text on a dark background will cut down the light and conserve your eyes. Hence, this heavy formatting.<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;About the User&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> === &lt;div style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Time Spent at Home&lt;/div&gt; ===<br /> &lt;table cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; width=&quot;100%&quot;&gt;&lt;tr&gt;<br /> &lt;td style=&quot;background-color: #FF0000;&quot; width=&quot;55%&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #FFFFFF;&quot;&gt;Bedroom&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;background-color: #00FF00; color: #000000;&quot; width=&quot;45%&quot;&gt;Elsewhere&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Basic Information&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> {| style=&quot;background-color: #000099; border: 2px solid #00FFFF; color: #FFFFFF;&quot;<br /> |-<br /> ! Field !! Data<br /> |-<br /> | Age || 14<br /> |-<br /> | Gender || Male<br /> |-<br /> | E-Mail || See the pretty toolbox or the even ''prettier'' userbox!<br /> |-<br /> | State || [[Wikipedia:Missouri|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Missouri&lt;/span&gt;]]<br /> |}<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;The HRWiki and me&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> I've been a member of this fine wiki since October 4, 2004. I mainly fix grammatical and spelling errors and vote in the [useful] [[HRWiki:STUFF|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;STUFF&lt;/span&gt;]]. Occasionally I participate in discussions. [[HRWiki:Da Basement|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;I really don't think trolls will be enough of a problem for me to twart any.&lt;/span&gt;]] Well, here at least, but I am a [[Wikipedia:User:Gwr2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Wikipedian&lt;/span&gt;]]. Now I'm just ramblin', so [[huttah!|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;MOVING ON&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Miscellaneous Crap&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> <br /> ==== &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Interests&lt;/span&gt; ====<br /> *NOT TV... except for news. I'm an infomaniac.<br /> *HRWiki. Duh.<br /> *Wikipedia<br /> *Algebra<br /> *Heavy-duty walking<br /> *Cats... just not 15 or more in the same room.<br /> *Computers... I'm a geek.<br /> *Testing gullibility<br /> <br /> == [http://www.homestarrunner.com/ &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;Homestar Runner&lt;/span&gt;] &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;and '''Him'''&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> '''Come back tomorrow'''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Wiki Contributions&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> Yes, I know this is sad. I just browse the wiki, not recent changes. Maybe that will change some day!<br /> <br /> ''02:25, 14 October 2005 (UTC)''<br /> <br /> ''Reverted '''1''' troll edit.''<br /> <br /> ''Added '''1''' troll to the [[HRWiki:WikiTroll|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;troll list&lt;/span&gt;]].''<br /> <br /> ''Welcomed '''1''' user successfully ('''1''' unsuccessful welcome&amp;mdash;[[User:Nintendork|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Nintendork&lt;/span&gt;]] - odd sitcheeation)''<br /> <br /> ''Joined '''2''' committees:&lt;br /&gt;[[HRWiki:Welcoming committee|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Welcoming Committee&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;br /&gt;[[HRWiki:Recent changes patrol|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Recent Changes Patrol&lt;/span&gt;]]''<br /> <br /> ''Beat the crap out of spelling and grammatical errors and made some text &lt;sup&gt;superscript&lt;/sup&gt;''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Support Spelling, Capitalization, Punctuation, and Grammar!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> I hereby promise that any grammatical or spelling error that is spotted by me will be immediately fixed.<br /> <br /> Examples of misspelling/grammatical errors (somehow, my '''''language arts''''' teacher made these stnanks):<br /> *Common ''curtsey''... (Curtsey? Don't you mean ''courtesy''?)<br /> *make-up work | make up work | makeup work (Um... the first one is the best choice, but at least be consistent!)<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Support Firefox!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> [http://www.getfirefox.com &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;Get Firefox!&lt;/span&gt;]<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Sig!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #FFFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #00FF00; padding: 2px;&quot;&gt;{{User:gwr2004/sig}}&lt;/div&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == {{subst:User:GWR2004/headtemplate|Miscellaneous Crap}} ==<br /> Goodbye, and [http://gwr.gotdns.com &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;This&lt;/span&gt;] is a (my) Website!!! --&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Notes&lt;/span&gt; == --&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Modules&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #FFCCCC; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #00FF00; padding: 2px; overflow: scroll; height: 250px;&quot;&gt;<br /> === What the crap is a module box? ===<br /> You're looking at one right now. These are for sections that can get kinda outta hand. They have their own scroll box so that it's harder to misinterpret the amount of ''actual'' content just by using the mail window's scrollbar. These are useful for user interaction, like the ever-so-popular guestbook (see below). Made by explicitly stating the size in CSS and using a cool property: &lt;code&gt;&amp;lt;div style=&quot;&lt;/code&gt; your other CSS code &lt;code&gt;overflow: scroll; height: &lt;/code&gt;x&lt;code&gt;;&quot;&amp;gt;content&amp;lt;/div&amp;gt;&lt;/code&gt;<br /> &lt;/div&gt; --&gt;<br /> &lt;/div&gt;</div> Mon, 22 May 2006 23:26:38 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004/Monobook.css <p>GWR 2004:&#32;clear</p> <hr /> <div></div> Mon, 22 May 2006 23:22:59 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004/Monobook.css http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004/monobook.css <p>GWR 2004:&#32;disable</p> <hr /> <div></div> Mon, 22 May 2006 23:22:30 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004/monobook.css http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004/Monobook.css <p>GWR 2004:&#32;I got all day...</p> <hr /> <div>@import &quot;/index.php?title=MediaWiki:Monobook.css&amp;action=raw&amp;ctype=text/css&amp;smaxage=18000&quot;;</div> Tue, 09 May 2006 21:15:19 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004/Monobook.css http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004/Monobook.css <p>GWR 2004:&#32;try again</p> <hr /> <div></div> Tue, 09 May 2006 21:12:12 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004/Monobook.css http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004/Monobook.css <p>GWR 2004:&#32;disable</p> <hr /> <div>/**\ edit this file to customize the monobook skin for the entire site \*<br /> <br /> #content {background-color: #000; color: #fff;}<br /> <br /> #footer {background-color: #000; color: #fff;}<br /> <br /> .pBody {background-color: #000; color: #fff;}<br /> <br /> textarea {background-color: #000; color: #fff; border: 1px solid #fff;}<br /> <br /> input {background-color: #000; color: #fff; border: 1px solid #fff; font-family: verdana;}<br /> <br /> .MainPageKnowledgeBaseBox {<br /> background-image: none;<br /> background-repeat: no-repeat;<br /> background-position: bottom right;<br /> }<br /> <br /> .MainPageWikiStuffBox {<br /> background-image: none;<br /> }<br /> <br /> .MainPageWikiStuffBox h4 {<br /> font-size: 100%;<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> border: none;<br /> margin-bottom: 0;<br /> }<br /> <br /> .IntroPageBox {<br /> background-image: none;<br /> background-color: #006;<br /> background-repeat: no-repeat;<br /> background-position: bottom right;<br /> }<br /> <br /> .TheStickBox {<br /> background-image: none<br /> background-repeat: no-repeat;<br /> background-position: bottom right;<br /> }<br /> <br /> .IntroPageBox div.tright {<br /> border-color: #006 !important;<br /> }<br /> <br /> .PledgeMeter {<br /> background-image: url('/skins/common/images/pledge-o-meter.gif');<br /> }<br /> <br /> body {<br /> background-image: none;<br /> font-size: 10px;<br /> font-family: verdana, geneva, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;<br /> background-color: #000000;<br /> }<br /> <br /> a { color: #cff; }<br /> <br /> a:visited { color: #cfc; }<br /> <br /> a:active { color: #ff0; }<br /> <br /> a.new, #p-personal a.new { color: #fcc; }<br /> <br /> a.new:visited, #p-personal a.new:visited { color:#fcf; }<br /> <br /> p { margin: 0.9em 0em 1em 0em; }<br /> <br /> h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6 {<br /> color: #fff;<br /> margin: 0px;<br /> }<br /> <br /> pre { border: 1px dashed #ff0; }<br /> <br /> #bodyContent h1, #bodyContent h2, #bodyContent h3, #bodyContent h4, #bodyContent h5 {<br /> margin-bottom:0.6em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> #siteNotice {<br /> padding: 0.5em;<br /> margin: 10px;<br /> border-top: 2px solid #ccc;<br /> border-bottom: 2px solid #ccc;<br /> background: #000;<br /> }<br /> <br /> #navbox { <br /> border: 1px solid #aaaaaa;<br /> background-color:#555;<br /> padding: 5px;<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> margin-left: 15px;<br /> margin-bottom: 15px;<br /> }<br /> <br /> #bodyContent a.extiw, #bodyContent a.extiw:active { color: #0ff; }<br /> <br /> #bodyContent a.external { color: #0ff; }<br /> <br /> #p-personal li a { color: #0ff; }<br /> <br /> #p-personal li a:hover {<br /> background-color: none;<br /> text-decoration: underline;<br /> }<br /> <br /> #p-cactions li a { color: #fff; background-color: #000; }<br /> <br /> #p-cactions .new a { color:#fff; background-color: #000; }<br /> <br /> #preftoc a:active { color: #fff; background-color: #000; }<br /> <br /> #content {<br /> margin-left: 12.6em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> #p-cactions {<br /> left: 11.9em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> .portlet {<br /> width: 12em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> <br /> .donors p { line-height: 50px; }<br /> .donor-0 { font-size: 98%; }<br /> .donor-5 { font-size: 100%; }<br /> .donor-10 { font-size: 102%; }<br /> .donor-15 { font-size: 104%; }<br /> .donor-20 { font-size: 106%; }<br /> .donor-25 { font-size: 108%; }<br /> .donor-30 { font-size: 110%; }<br /> .donor-35 { font-size: 112%; }<br /> .donor-40 { font-size: 114%; }<br /> .donor-45 { font-size: 116%; }<br /> .donor-50 { font-size: 118%; }<br /> .donor-55 { font-size: 120%; }<br /> .donor-60 { font-size: 122%; }<br /> .donor-65 { font-size: 124%; }<br /> .donor-70 { font-size: 126%; }<br /> .donor-75 { font-size: 128%; }<br /> .donor-80 { font-size: 130%; }<br /> .donor-85 { font-size: 132%; }<br /> .donor-90 { font-size: 134%; }<br /> .donor-95 { font-size: 136%; }<br /> .donor-100 { font-size: 138%; }<br /> .donor-110 { font-size: 142%; }<br /> .donor-120 { font-size: 146%; }<br /> .donor-130 { font-size: 150%; }<br /> .donor-140 { font-size: 154%; }<br /> .donor-150 { font-size: 158%; }<br /> .donor-160 { font-size: 162%; }<br /> .donor-170 { font-size: 166%; }<br /> .donor-180 { font-size: 170%; }<br /> .donor-190 { font-size: 174%; }<br /> .donor-200 { font-size: 178%; }<br /> .donor-225 { font-size: 188%; }<br /> .donor-250 { font-size: 198%; }<br /> .donor-275 { font-size: 208%; }<br /> .donor-300 { font-size: 218%; }<br /> .donor-350 { font-size: 238%; }<br /> .donor-400 { font-size: 358%; }<br /> .donor-500 { font-size: 398%; }<br /> <br /> input.searchButton {<br /> padding: 0 0.4em !important;<br /> cursor: pointer;<br /> background-color: #000;<br /> border: 1px solid #eeeeee; <br /> font-weight: normal;<br /> } <br /> <br /> #searchGoButton {<br /> font-weight: normal;<br /> }<br /> <br /> #searchInput {<br /> border: 1px solid #eeeeee; <br /> } <br /> <br /> input[type=&quot;radio&quot;], input[type=&quot;checkbox&quot;] {<br /> border: none;<br /> }<br /> <br /> select {<br /> border: 1px solid #fff; <br /> color: #fff;<br /> }<br /> <br /> #n-officialsite a,<br /> #bodyContent a[href ^=&quot;http://www.homestarrunner.com&quot;] {<br /> background: url(/skins/monobook/hr.png) center left no-repeat !important;<br /> padding-left: 23px !important;<br /> padding-right: 0px !important;<br /> }<br /> <br /> #bodyContent a[href ^=&quot;http://store.yahoo.com/homestarrunner&quot;] {<br /> background: url(/skins/common/images/hrstore.png) center left no-repeat !important;<br /> padding-left: 20px !important;<br /> padding-right: 0px !important;<br /> }<br /> #bodyContent a[href ^=&quot;http://gwr.gotdns.com&quot;] {<br /> background: url(/images/3/31/GWR_Wikisig.gif) center left no-repeat !important;<br /> padding-left: 20px !important;<br /> padding-right: 0px !important;<br /> }<br /> #bodyContent a[href ^=&quot;http://www.videlectrix.com&quot;] {<br /> background: url(/skins/common/images/videlectrix.png) center left no-repeat !important;<br /> padding-left: 20px !important;<br /> padding-right: 0px !important;<br /> }<br /> #bodyContent a[href ^=&quot;http://www.thoraxcorp.com&quot;] {<br /> background: url(/skins/common/images/thorax.png) center left no-repeat !important;<br /> padding-left: 20px !important;<br /> padding-right: 0px !important;<br /> }<br /> <br /> blockquote {<br /> border-left: 3px solid #f00;<br /> margin-left: 2em;<br /> padding-left: 1em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> blockquote.email {<br /> border: 4px solid #cc9;<br /> background: #000;<br /> background-image: url(/skins/common/images/emailbackground.gif);<br /> background-repeat: no-repeat;<br /> background-position: bottom right;<br /> color: #fff;<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> padding: 1em;<br /> font-family: courier new, monospace;<br /> width: 500px;<br /> }<br /> <br /> blockquote.tandy {<br /> color: #0c0 !important;<br /> }<br /> <br /> blockquote.short {<br /> height: 6.5em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> blockquote.email div {<br /> background: #33f;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> padding: 0.2em;<br /> border-bottom: 1px solid white;<br /> }<br /> <br /> form#userlogin {<br /> float: left;<br /> padding: 1em 1em .7em 1em;<br /> background-color: #333;<br /> border: 2px solid #333;<br /> color: #fff;<br /> margin-right: 2em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> form#userlogin table {<br /> float: left;<br /> background-color: #fed;<br /> background-image: url(/skins/common/images/poopsmith-background.gif);<br /> background-repeat: no-repeat;<br /> background-position: bottom left;<br /> color: #000;<br /> }<br /> <br /> form#userlogin p {<br /> text-align: center;<br /> }<br /> <br /> .notice {<br /> text-align: justify;<br /> margin: 1em;<br /> padding: 0.2em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> #disambig {<br /> border-top: 3px double #666666; <br /> border-bottom: 3px double #666666;<br /> }<br /> <br /> #bodyContent .plainlinks a {<br /> padding: 0 !important;<br /> }<br /> */</div> Tue, 09 May 2006 21:11:31 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004/Monobook.css http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004/monobook.css <p>GWR 2004:&#32;</p> <hr /> <div>/*<br /> ** MediaWiki 'monobook' style sheet for CSS2-capable browsers.<br /> ** Copyright Gabriel Wicke - http://wikidev.net/<br /> ** License: GPL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/gpl.html)<br /> **<br /> ** Loosely based on http://www.positioniseverything.net/ordered-floats.html by Big John<br /> ** and the Plone 2.0 styles, see http://plone.org/ (Alexander Limi,Joe Geldart &amp; Tom Croucher,<br /> ** Michael Zeltner and Geir Bækholt)<br /> ** All you guys rock :)<br /> */<br /> <br /> .MainPageKnowledgeBaseBox {color: #000 !important;}<br /> <br /> #column-content {<br /> width: 100%;<br /> float: right;<br /> margin: 0 0 .6em -12.2em;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> }<br /> #content {<br /> margin: 2.8em 0 0 12.2em;<br /> padding: 0 1em 1.5em 1em;<br /> background: black;<br /> color: white;<br /> border: 1px solid #aaa;<br /> border-right: none;<br /> line-height: 1.5em;<br /> position: relative;<br /> z-index: 2;<br /> }<br /> #column-one {<br /> padding-top: 160px;<br /> }<br /> /* the left column width is specified in class .portlet */<br /> <br /> /* Font size:<br /> ** We take advantage of keyword scaling- browsers won't go below 9px<br /> ** More at http://www.w3.org/2003/07/30-font-size<br /> ** http://style.cleverchimp.com/font_size_intervals/altintervals.html<br /> */<br /> <br /> body {<br /> font: x-small sans-serif;<br /> background: #333;<br /> color: white;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* scale back up to a sane default */<br /> #globalWrapper {<br /> font-size: 127%;<br /> width: 100%;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> }<br /> .visualClear {<br /> clear: both;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* general styles */<br /> <br /> table {<br /> font-size: 100%;<br /> background: black;<br /> color: white;<br /> }<br /> a {<br /> text-decoration: none;<br /> color: #0ff;<br /> background: none;<br /> }<br /> a:visited {<br /> color: #00c0ff;<br /> }<br /> a:active {<br /> color: #faa700;<br /> }<br /> a:hover {<br /> color: #0f0;<br /> text-decoration: underline;<br /> }<br /> a.stub {<br /> color: #772233;<br /> }<br /> a.new, #p-personal a.new {<br /> color: #ff0;<br /> }<br /> a.new:visited, #p-personal a.new:visited {<br /> color: #fc0;<br /> }<br /> <br /> img {<br /> border: none;<br /> vertical-align: middle;<br /> }<br /> p {<br /> margin: .4em 0 .5em 0;<br /> line-height: 1.5em;<br /> }<br /> p img {<br /> margin: 0;<br /> }<br /> <br /> hr {<br /> height: 1px;<br /> color: #aaa;<br /> background-color: #aaa;<br /> border: 0;<br /> margin: .2em 0 .2em 0;<br /> }<br /> <br /> h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6 {<br /> color: #cff;<br /> background: none;<br /> font-weight: normal;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> padding-top: .5em;<br /> padding-bottom: .17em;<br /> border-bottom: 1px solid #aaa;<br /> }<br /> h1 { font-size: 188%; }<br /> h2 { font-size: 150%; }<br /> h3, h4, h5, h6 {<br /> border-bottom: none;<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> }<br /> h3 { font-size: 132%; }<br /> h4 { font-size: 116%; }<br /> h5 { font-size: 100%; }<br /> h6 { font-size: 80%; }<br /> <br /> ul {<br /> line-height: 1.5em;<br /> list-style-type: square;<br /> margin: .3em 0 0 1.5em;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> list-style-image: url(bullet.gif);<br /> }<br /> ol {<br /> line-height: 1.5em;<br /> margin: .3em 0 0 3.2em;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> list-style-image: none;<br /> }<br /> li {<br /> margin-bottom: .1em;<br /> }<br /> dt {<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> margin-bottom: .1em;<br /> }<br /> dl {<br /> margin-top: .2em;<br /> margin-bottom: .5em;<br /> }<br /> dd {<br /> line-height: 1.5em;<br /> margin-left: 2em;<br /> margin-bottom: .1em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> fieldset {<br /> border: 1px solid #2f6fab;<br /> margin: 1em 0 1em 0;<br /> padding: 0 1em 1em;<br /> line-height: 1.5em;<br /> }<br /> legend {<br /> background: black;<br /> color: white;<br /> padding: .5em;<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> }<br /> form {<br /> border: none;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> }<br /> <br /> textarea {<br /> width: 100%;<br /> padding: .1em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> input.historysubmit {<br /> padding: 0 .3em .3em .3em !important;<br /> font-size: 94%;<br /> cursor: pointer;<br /> height: 1.7em !important;<br /> margin-left: 1.6em;<br /> }<br /> select {<br /> vertical-align: top;<br /> }<br /> abbr, acronym, .explain {<br /> border-bottom: 1px dotted white;<br /> color: white;<br /> background: none;<br /> cursor: help;<br /> }<br /> q {<br /> font-family: Times, &quot;Times New Roman&quot;, serif;<br /> font-style: italic;<br /> }<br /> /* disabled for now<br /> blockquote {<br /> font-family: Times, &quot;Times New Roman&quot;, serif;<br /> font-style: italic;<br /> }*/<br /> code {<br /> background-color: #333;<br /> }<br /> pre {<br /> padding: 1em;<br /> border: 1px dashed #2f6fab;<br /> color: white;<br /> background-color: #666; /* IT'S JUST A NUMBER! */<br /> line-height: 1.1em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** the main content area<br /> */<br /> <br /> #siteSub {<br /> display: none;<br /> }<br /> #contentSub {<br /> font-size: 84%;<br /> line-height: 1.2em;<br /> margin: 0 0 1.4em 1em;<br /> color: #ffffff;<br /> width: auto;<br /> }<br /> span.subpages {<br /> display: block;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* Some space under the headers in the content area */<br /> #bodyContent h1, #bodyContent h2 {<br /> margin-bottom: .6em;<br /> }<br /> #bodyContent h3, #bodyContent h4, #bodyContent h5 {<br /> margin-bottom: .3em;<br /> }<br /> .firstHeading {<br /> margin-bottom: .1em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* user notification thing */<br /> .usermessage {<br /> background-color: #000080;<br /> border: 1px solid #ffa500;<br /> color: white;<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> margin: 2em 0 1em;<br /> padding: .5em 1em;<br /> vertical-align: middle;<br /> }<br /> #siteNotice {<br /> text-align: center;<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> padding: 0 .9em;<br /> }<br /> #siteNotice p {<br /> margin: 0;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> }<br /> .error {<br /> color: #ff8000;<br /> font-size: larger;<br /> }<br /> #catlinks {<br /> border: 1px solid #aaa;<br /> background-color: #666;<br /> padding: 5px;<br /> margin-top: 1em;<br /> clear: both;<br /> }<br /> /* currently unused, intended to be used by a metadata box<br /> in the bottom-right corner of the content area */<br /> .documentDescription {<br /> /* The summary text describing the document */<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> display: block;<br /> margin: 1em 0;<br /> line-height: 1.5em;<br /> }<br /> .documentByLine {<br /> text-align: right;<br /> font-size: 90%;<br /> clear: both;<br /> font-weight: normal;<br /> color: #ccc;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* emulate center */<br /> .center {<br /> width: 100%;<br /> text-align: center;<br /> }<br /> *.center * {<br /> margin-left: auto;<br /> margin-right: auto;<br /> }<br /> /* small for tables and similar */<br /> .small, .small * {<br /> font-size: 94%;<br /> }<br /> table.small {<br /> font-size: 100%;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** content styles<br /> */<br /> <br /> #toc,<br /> .toc {<br /> border: 1px solid #aaa;<br /> background-color: #666;<br /> padding: 5px;<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> }<br /> #toc h2,<br /> .toc h2 {<br /> display: inline;<br /> border: none;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> font-size: 100%;<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> }<br /> #toc #toctitle,<br /> .toc #toctitle,<br /> #toc .toctitle,<br /> .toc .toctitle {<br /> text-align: center;<br /> }<br /> #toc ul,<br /> .toc ul {<br /> list-style-type: none;<br /> list-style-image: none;<br /> margin-left: 0;<br /> padding-left: 0;<br /> text-align: left;<br /> }<br /> #toc ul ul,<br /> .toc ul ul {<br /> margin: 0 0 0 2em;<br /> }<br /> #toc .toctoggle,<br /> .toc .toctoggle {<br /> font-size: 94%;<br /> }<br /> <br /> <br /> /* images */<br /> div.floatright, table.floatright {<br /> clear: right;<br /> float: right;<br /> position: relative;<br /> margin: 0 0 .5em .5em;<br /> border: 0;<br /> /*<br /> border: .5em solid white;<br /> border-width: .5em 0 .8em 1.4em;<br /> */<br /> }<br /> div.floatright p { font-style: italic; }<br /> div.floatleft, table.floatleft {<br /> float: left;<br /> position: relative;<br /> margin: 0 .5em .5em 0;<br /> border: 0;<br /> /*<br /> margin: .3em .5em .5em 0;<br /> border: .5em solid white;<br /> border-width: .5em 1.4em .8em 0;<br /> */<br /> }<br /> div.floatleft p { font-style: italic; }<br /> /* thumbnails */<br /> div.thumb {<br /> margin-bottom: .5em;<br /> border-style: solid;<br /> border-color: white;<br /> width: auto;<br /> }<br /> div.thumb div {<br /> border: 1px solid #ccc;<br /> padding: 3px !important;<br /> background-color: #666;<br /> font-size: 94%;<br /> text-align: center;<br /> overflow: hidden;<br /> }<br /> div.thumb div a img {<br /> border: 1px solid #ccc;<br /> }<br /> div.thumb div div.thumbcaption {<br /> border: none;<br /> text-align: left;<br /> line-height: 1.4em;<br /> padding: .3em 0 .1em 0;<br /> }<br /> div.magnify {<br /> float: right;<br /> border: none !important;<br /> background: none !important;<br /> }<br /> div.magnify a, div.magnify img {<br /> display: block;<br /> border: none !important;<br /> background: none !important;<br /> }<br /> div.tright {<br /> clear: right;<br /> float: right;<br /> border-width: .5em 0 .8em 1.4em;<br /> }<br /> div.tleft {<br /> float: left;<br /> margin-right: .5em;<br /> border-width: .5em 1.4em .8em 0;<br /> }<br /> <br /> .hiddenStructure {<br /> display: none;<br /> }<br /> img.tex {<br /> vertical-align: middle;<br /> }<br /> span.texhtml {<br /> font-family: serif;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** classes for special content elements like town boxes<br /> ** intended to be referenced directly from the wiki src<br /> */<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** User styles<br /> */<br /> /* table standards */<br /> table.rimage {<br /> float: right;<br /> position: relative;<br /> margin-left: 1em;<br /> margin-bottom: 1em;<br /> text-align: center;<br /> }<br /> .toccolours {<br /> border: 1px solid #aaa;<br /> background-color: #666;<br /> padding: 5px;<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> }<br /> div.townBox {<br /> position: relative;<br /> float: right;<br /> background: black;<br /> margin-left: 1em;<br /> border: 1px solid gray;<br /> padding: .3em;<br /> width: 200px;<br /> overflow: hidden;<br /> clear: right;<br /> }<br /> div.townBox dl {<br /> padding: 0;<br /> margin: 0 0 .3em;<br /> font-size: 96%;<br /> }<br /> div.townBox dl dt {<br /> background: none;<br /> margin: .4em 0 0;<br /> }<br /> div.townBox dl dd {<br /> margin: .1em 0 0 1.1em;<br /> background-color: #666;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** edit views etc<br /> */<br /> .special li {<br /> line-height: 1.4em;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* Page history styling */<br /> /* the auto-generated edit comments */<br /> .autocomment {<br /> color: cfc;<br /> }<br /> #pagehistory span.user {<br /> margin-left: 1.4em;<br /> margin-right: .4em;<br /> }<br /> #pagehistory span.minor {<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> }<br /> #pagehistory li {<br /> border: 1px solid white;<br /> }<br /> #pagehistory li.selected {<br /> background-color: #666;<br /> border: 1px dashed #aaa;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** Diff rendering<br /> */<br /> table.diff, td.diff-otitle, td.diff-ntitle {<br /> background-color: black;<br /> }<br /> td.diff-addedline {<br /> background: #008000;<br /> font-size: smaller;<br /> }<br /> td.diff-deletedline {<br /> background: #800000;<br /> font-size: smaller;<br /> }<br /> td.diff-context {<br /> background: #666;<br /> font-size: smaller;<br /> }<br /> span.diffchange {<br /> color: #ff8000;<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** keep the whitespace in front of the ^=, hides rule from konqueror<br /> ** this is css3, the validator doesn't like it when validating as css2<br /> */<br /> #bodyContent a[href ^=&quot;http://&quot;],<br /> #bodyContent a[href ^=&quot;gopher://&quot;] {<br /> background: url(external.png) center right no-repeat;<br /> padding-right: 13px;<br /> }<br /> #bodyContent a[href ^=&quot;https://&quot;],<br /> .link-https {<br /> background: url(lock_icon.gif) center right no-repeat;<br /> padding-right: 16px;<br /> }<br /> #bodyContent a[href ^=&quot;mailto:&quot;],<br /> .link-mailto {<br /> background: url(mail_icon.gif) center right no-repeat;<br /> padding-right: 18px;<br /> }<br /> #bodyContent a[href ^=&quot;news://&quot;] {<br /> background: url(news_icon.png) center right no-repeat;<br /> padding-right: 18px;<br /> }<br /> #bodyContent a[href ^=&quot;ftp://&quot;],<br /> .link-ftp {<br /> background: url(file_icon.gif) center right no-repeat;<br /> padding-right: 18px;<br /> }<br /> #bodyContent a[href ^=&quot;irc://&quot;],<br /> .link-irc {<br /> background: url(discussionitem_icon.gif) center right no-repeat;<br /> padding-right: 18px;<br /> }<br /> /* disable interwiki styling */<br /> #bodyContent a.extiw,<br /> #bodyContent a.extiw:active {<br /> color: #36b;<br /> background: none;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> }<br /> #bodyContent a.external {<br /> color: #36b;<br /> }<br /> /* this can be used in the content area to switch off<br /> special external link styling */<br /> #bodyContent .plainlinks a {<br /> background: none !important;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> }<br /> /*<br /> ** Structural Elements<br /> */<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** general portlet styles (elements in the quickbar)<br /> */<br /> .portlet {<br /> border: none;<br /> margin: 0 0 .5em;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> float: none;<br /> width: 11.6em;<br /> overflow: hidden;<br /> }<br /> .portlet h4 {<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> font-weight: normal;<br /> white-space: nowrap;<br /> }<br /> .portlet h5 {<br /> background: transparent;<br /> padding: 0 1em 0 .5em;<br /> display: inline;<br /> height: 1em;<br /> text-transform: lowercase;<br /> font-size: 91%;<br /> font-weight: normal;<br /> white-space: nowrap;<br /> }<br /> .portlet h6 {<br /> background: #ffae2e;<br /> border: 1px solid #2f6fab;<br /> border-style: solid solid none solid;<br /> padding: 0 1em 0 1em;<br /> text-transform: lowercase;<br /> display: block;<br /> font-size: 1em;<br /> height: 1.2em;<br /> font-weight: normal;<br /> white-space: nowrap;<br /> }<br /> .pBody {<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> background-color: black;<br /> color: white;<br /> border-collapse: collapse;<br /> border: 1px solid #aaa;<br /> padding: 0 .8em .3em .5em;<br /> }<br /> .portlet h1,<br /> .portlet h2,<br /> .portlet h3,<br /> .portlet h4 {<br /> margin: 0;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> }<br /> .portlet ul {<br /> line-height: 1.5em;<br /> list-style-type: square;<br /> list-style-image: url(bullet.gif);<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> }<br /> .portlet li {<br /> padding: 0;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** Logo properties<br /> */<br /> <br /> #p-logo {<br /> z-index: 3;<br /> position: absolute; /*needed to use z-index */<br /> top: 0;<br /> left: 0;<br /> height: 155px;<br /> width: 12em;<br /> overflow: visible;<br /> }<br /> #p-logo h5 {<br /> display: none;<br /> }<br /> #p-logo a,<br /> #p-logo a:hover {<br /> display: block;<br /> height: 155px;<br /> width: 12.2em;<br /> background-repeat: no-repeat;<br /> background-position: 35% 50% !important;<br /> text-decoration: none;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** the navigation portlet<br /> */<br /> <br /> #p-navigation {<br /> position: relative;<br /> z-index: 3;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** Search portlet<br /> */<br /> #p-search {<br /> position: relative;<br /> z-index: 3;<br /> }<br /> #p-search .pBody {<br /> text-align: center;<br /> }<br /> input.searchButton {<br /> margin-top: 1px;<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> }<br /> #searchGoButton {<br /> padding-left: .5em;<br /> padding-right: .5em;<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> }<br /> #searchInput {<br /> width: 10.9em;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> }<br /> #p-search .pBody {<br /> padding: .5em .4em .4em .4em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** the personal toolbar<br /> */<br /> <br /> #p-personal {<br /> width: 100%;<br /> white-space: nowrap;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> position: absolute;<br /> left: 0;<br /> top: 0;<br /> z-index: 0;<br /> border: none;<br /> background: none;<br /> overflow: visible;<br /> line-height: 1.2em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> #p-personal h5 {<br /> display: none;<br /> }<br /> #p-personal .portlet,<br /> #p-personal .pBody {<br /> padding: 0;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> border: none;<br /> z-index: 0;<br /> overflow: visible;<br /> background: none;<br /> }<br /> /* this is the ul contained in the portlet */<br /> #p-personal ul {<br /> border: none;<br /> line-height: 1.4em;<br /> color: #2f6fab;<br /> padding: 0 2em 0 3em;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> text-align: right;<br /> text-transform: lowercase;<br /> list-style: none;<br /> z-index: 0;<br /> background: none;<br /> }<br /> #p-personal li {<br /> z-index: 0;<br /> border: none;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> display: inline;<br /> color: #2f6fab;<br /> margin-left: 1em;<br /> line-height: 1.2em;<br /> background: none;<br /> }<br /> #p-personal li a {<br /> text-decoration: none;<br /> color: #005896;<br /> padding-bottom: .2em;<br /> background: none;<br /> }<br /> #p-personal li a:hover {<br /> background-color: white;<br /> padding-bottom: .2em;<br /> text-decoration: none;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* the icon in front of the user name, single quotes<br /> in bg url to hide it from iemac */<br /> li#pt-userpage,<br /> li#pt-anonuserpage,<br /> li#pt-login {<br /> background: url(user.gif) top left no-repeat;<br /> padding-left: 20px;<br /> text-transform: none;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** the page-related actions- page/talk, edit etc<br /> */<br /> #p-cactions {<br /> position: absolute;<br /> top: 1.3em;<br /> left: 11.5em;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> white-space: nowrap;<br /> width: 76%;<br /> line-height: 1.1em;<br /> overflow: visible;<br /> background: none;<br /> border-collapse: collapse;<br /> padding-left: 1em;<br /> list-style: none;<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions .hiddenStructure {<br /> display: none;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions ul {<br /> list-style: none;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions li {<br /> display: inline;<br /> border: 1px solid #aaa;<br /> border-bottom: none;<br /> padding: 0 0 .1em 0;<br /> margin: 0 .3em 0 0;<br /> overflow: visible;<br /> background: black;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions li.selected {<br /> border-color: #666;<br /> padding: 0 0 .2em 0;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions li a {<br /> background-color: black;<br /> color: #ccc;<br /> border: none;<br /> padding: 0 .8em .3em .8em;<br /> text-decoration: none;<br /> text-transform: lowercase;<br /> position: relative;<br /> z-index: 0;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions .selected a {<br /> z-index: 3;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions .new a {<br /> color: #ff0;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions li a:hover {<br /> z-index: 3;<br /> text-decoration: none;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions h5 {<br /> display: none;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions li.istalk {<br /> margin-right: 0;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions li.istalk a {<br /> padding-right: .5em;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions #ca-addsection a {<br /> padding-left: .4em;<br /> padding-right: .4em;<br /> }<br /> /* offsets to distinguish the tab groups */<br /> li#ca-talk {<br /> margin-right: 1.6em;<br /> }<br /> li#ca-watch, li#ca-unwatch, li#ca-varlang-0, li#ca-print {<br /> margin-left: 1.6em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** the remaining portlets<br /> */<br /> #p-tbx,<br /> #p-lang {<br /> position: relative;<br /> z-index: 3;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** footer<br /> */<br /> #footer {<br /> background-color: black;<br /> border-top: 1px solid #fabd23;<br /> border-bottom: 1px solid #fabd23;<br /> margin: .6em 0 1em 0;<br /> padding: .4em 0 1.2em 0;<br /> text-align: center;<br /> font-size: 90%;<br /> }<br /> #footer li {<br /> display: inline;<br /> margin: 0 1.3em;<br /> }<br /> /* hide from incapable browsers */<br /> head:first-child+body #footer li { white-space: nowrap; }<br /> #f-poweredbyico, #f-copyrightico {<br /> margin: 0 8px;<br /> position: relative;<br /> top: -2px; /* Bump it up just a tad */<br /> }<br /> #f-poweredbyico {<br /> float: right;<br /> height: 1%;<br /> }<br /> #f-copyrightico {<br /> float: left;<br /> height: 1%;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* js pref toc */<br /> #preftoc {<br /> float: left;<br /> margin: 1em;<br /> width: 13em;<br /> }<br /> #preftoc li {<br /> border: 1px solid white;<br /> }<br /> #preftoc li.selected {<br /> background-color: #f9f9f9;<br /> border: 1px dashed #aaa;<br /> }<br /> #preftoc a,<br /> #preftoc a:active {<br /> display: block;<br /> color: #0014a6;<br /> }<br /> #prefcontrol {<br /> clear: both;<br /> float: left;<br /> margin-top: 1em;<br /> }<br /> div.prefsectiontip {<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> margin-top: 1em;<br /> }<br /> fieldset.operaprefsection {<br /> margin-left: 15em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** IE/Mac fixes, hope to find a validating way to move this<br /> ** to a separate stylesheet. This would work but doesn't validate:<br /> ** @import(&quot;IEMacFixes.css&quot;);<br /> */<br /> /* tabs: border on the a, not the div */<br /> * &gt; html #p-cactions li { border: none; }<br /> * &gt; html #p-cactions li a {<br /> border: 1px solid #aaa;<br /> border-bottom: none;<br /> }<br /> * &gt; html #p-cactions li.selected a { border-color: #fabd23; }<br /> /* footer icons need a fixed width */<br /> * &gt; html #f-poweredbyico,<br /> * &gt; html #f-copyrightico { width: 88px; }<br /> * &gt; html #bodyContent,<br /> * &gt; html #bodyContent pre {<br /> overflow-x: auto;<br /> width: 100%;<br /> padding-bottom: 25px;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* more IE fixes */<br /> /* float/negative margin brokenness */<br /> * html #footer {margin-top: 0;}<br /> * html #column-content {<br /> display: inline;<br /> margin-bottom: 0;<br /> }<br /> * html div.editsection { font-size: smaller; }<br /> #pagehistory li.selected { position: relative; }<br /> <br /> /* Mac IE 5.0 fix; floated content turns invisible */<br /> * &gt; html #column-content {<br /> float: none;<br /> }<br /> * &gt; html #column-one {<br /> position: absolute;<br /> left: 0;<br /> top: 0;<br /> }<br /> * &gt; html #footer {<br /> margin-left: 13.2em;<br /> }<br /> .redirectText {<br /> font-size: 150%;<br /> margin: 5px;<br /> }<br /> <br /> .printfooter {<br /> display: none;<br /> }<br /> <br /> .not-patrolled {<br /> background-color: #808000;<br /> }<br /> div.patrollink {<br /> font-size: 75%;<br /> text-align: right;<br /> }<br /> span.newpage, span.minor, span.searchmatch {<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> }<br /> span.unpatrolled {<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> color: ff8000;<br /> }<br /> <br /> span.searchmatch {<br /> color: ffff00;<br /> }<br /> .sharedUploadNotice {<br /> font-style: italic;<br /> }<br /> <br /> span.updatedmarker {<br /> color: black;<br /> background-color: #008000;<br /> }<br /> span.newpageletter {<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> color: white;<br /> background-color: #008000;<br /> }<br /> span.minoreditletter {<br /> color: white;<br /> background-color: #000080;<br /> }<br /> <br /> table.gallery {<br /> border: 1px solid #ccc;<br /> margin: 2px;<br /> padding: 2px;<br /> background-color: black;<br /> }<br /> <br /> table.gallery tr {<br /> vertical-align: top;<br /> }<br /> <br /> table.gallery td {<br /> vertical-align: top;<br /> background-color: #666;<br /> border: solid 2px white;<br /> }<br /> <br /> div.gallerybox {<br /> margin: 2px;<br /> width: 150px;<br /> }<br /> <br /> div.gallerybox div.thumb {<br /> text-align: center;<br /> border: 1px solid #ccc;<br /> margin: 2px;<br /> }<br /> <br /> div.gallerytext {<br /> font-size: 94%;<br /> padding: 2px 4px;<br /> }<br /> <br /> span.comment {<br /> font-style: italic;<br /> }<br /> <br /> span.changedby {<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> }<br /> <br /> .previewnote {<br /> text-align: center;<br /> color: #ffcccc;<br /> }<br /> .editExternally {<br /> border: 1px solid gray;<br /> background-color: #000;<br /> padding: 3px;<br /> margin-top: 0.5em;<br /> float: left;<br /> font-size: small;<br /> text-align: center;<br /> }<br /> .editExternallyHelp {<br /> font-style: italic;<br /> color: #ccc;<br /> }<br /> <br /> li span.deleted {<br /> text-decoration: line-through;<br /> color: #888;<br /> font-style: italic;<br /> }<br /> <br /> .toggle {<br /> margin-left: 2em;<br /> text-indent: -2em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* Classes for EXIF data display */<br /> table.metadata {<br /> font-size: 0.8em;<br /> margin-left: 0.5em;<br /> margin-bottom: 0.5em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> table.metadata caption {<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> }<br /> <br /> table.metadata th {<br /> font-weight: normal;<br /> }<br /> <br /> table.metadata td {<br /> padding: 0.1em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> table.metadata {<br /> border: none;<br /> border-collapse: collapse;<br /> }<br /> <br /> table.metadata td, table.metadata th {<br /> text-align: center;<br /> border: 1px solid #aaaaaa;<br /> padding-left: 0.1em;<br /> padding-right: 0.1em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> table.metadata th {<br /> background-color: #666;<br /> }<br /> <br /> table.metadata td {<br /> background-color: #666;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* filetoc */<br /> ul#filetoc {<br /> text-align: center;<br /> border: 1px solid #aaaaaa;<br /> background-color: #666;<br /> padding: 5px;<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> margin-bottom: 0.5em;<br /> margin-left: 0;<br /> margin-right: 0;<br /> }<br /> <br /> #filetoc li {<br /> display: inline;<br /> list-style-type: none;<br /> padding-right: 2em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* @bug 1714 */<br /> input#wpSave, input#wpDiff {<br /> margin-right: 0.33em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> <br /> /* Classes for article validation */<br /> <br /> table.revisionform_default {<br /> border: 1px solid #fff;<br /> }<br /> <br /> table.revisionform_focus {<br /> border: 1px solid #fff;<br /> background-color:#008080;<br /> }<br /> <br /> tr.revision_tr_default {<br /> background-color:#333;<br /> }<br /> <br /> tr.revision_tr_first {<br /> background-color:#444;<br /> }<br /> <br /> p.revision_saved {<br /> color: #0f0;<br /> font-weight:bold;<br /> }<br /> <br /> #mw_trackbacks {<br /> border: solid 1px #bbbbff;<br /> background-color: #336;<br /> padding: 0.2em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> <br /> /* Allmessages table */<br /> <br /> #allmessagestable th {<br /> background-color: #446;<br /> }<br /> <br /> #allmessagestable tr.orig {<br /> background-color: #644;<br /> }<br /> <br /> #allmessagestable tr.new {<br /> background-color: #464;<br /> }<br /> <br /> #allmessagestable tr.def {<br /> background-color: #336;<br /> }</div> Fri, 21 Apr 2006 21:41:32 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004/monobook.css http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004 <p>GWR 2004:&#32;Done for now...</p> <hr /> <div>&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: 'trebuchet ms', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; background-color: #000066; color: #FFFFFF; border: 2px solid #0000FF; padding: 2px; font-size: 110%;&quot; class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #FF0000; padding: 2px; font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;GWR 2004&lt;/div&gt;<br /> &lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;border: 2px solid #FF9900; background-color: #FF0000; color: #FFFFFF;&quot;&gt;''GWR 2004 is inactive. You can [[User_talk:GWR_2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;add to my stack&lt;/span&gt;]] or just [http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=User:GWR_2004&amp;action=purge &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;purge the cache&lt;/span&gt;].''&lt;/div&gt;<br /> '''No more monospace!'''<br /> __FORCETOC__<br /> {{userboxtop}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#006400|mainbkgd=#ADFF2F|codebkgd=#2E8B57|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:HomsarPotion-ma-jig.png|30px]]|msg=This user enjoys doing '''[[HRWiki:WikiGnome|Gnome work]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF6103|codebkgd=#000000 |codecolor=#FF6103|code=RC|msg=This user patrols '''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent Changes]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#00008B|mainbkgd=#F5F5F5|codebkgd=#0000CD |codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=WP|msg=This user is also on '''[[Wikipedia:User:Gwr2004|Wikipedia]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#DAA520|mainbkgd=#FAFAD2|codebkgd=#F0E68C|codecolor=#000000|code=UN|msg=This user is also on '''&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004 Uncyclopedia]&lt;/span&gt;'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#FFFF00|mainbkgd=#FFFF00|codebkgd=#FF0000|codecolor=#9900FF|code=YIM|msg=This user has an '''&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;Instant message address (that I almost never use, so don't ask me for it)&lt;/span&gt;'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FFFFFF|codebkgd=#000000|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=EM|msg=This user has an '''Email address'''.}}<br /> {{userbox-nc|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FFF|msg=&lt;table width=&quot;100%&quot;&gt;&lt;tr style=&quot;background:#E0F5E1&quot;&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Courier New, monospace&quot;&gt;'''&gt; [[Special:Emailuser/{{PAGENAME}}|Click here]] to'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr style=&quot;background:#E0F5E1&quot;&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Courier New, monospace&quot;&gt;'''email this user'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:qod 2 - strong bad.PNG|35px]]|msg=This user's favorite character is '''[[Strong Bad]]'''.}}<br /> |}<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;About the Formatting&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> No matter how much you try to make your computer screen a piece of paper, all that white will strain your eyes. It's light! It's going to do that! Light text on a dark background will cut down the light and conserve your eyes. Hence, this heavy formatting.<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;About the User&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> === &lt;div style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Time Spent at Home&lt;/div&gt; ===<br /> &lt;table cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; width=&quot;100%&quot;&gt;&lt;tr&gt;<br /> &lt;td style=&quot;background-color: #FF0000;&quot; width=&quot;55%&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #FFFFFF;&quot;&gt;Bedroom&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;background-color: #00FF00; color: #000000;&quot; width=&quot;45%&quot;&gt;Elsewhere&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Basic Information&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> {| style=&quot;background-color: #000099; border: 2px solid #00FFFF; color: #FFFFFF;&quot;<br /> |-<br /> ! Field !! Data<br /> |-<br /> | Age || 14<br /> |-<br /> | Gender || Male<br /> |-<br /> | E-Mail || See the pretty toolbox or the even ''prettier'' userbox!<br /> |-<br /> | State || [[Wikipedia:Missouri|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Missouri&lt;/span&gt;]]<br /> |}<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;The HRWiki and me&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> I've been a member of this fine wiki since October 4, 2004. I mainly fix grammatical and spelling errors and vote in the [useful] [[HRWiki:STUFF|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;STUFF&lt;/span&gt;]]. Occasionally I participate in discussions. [[HRWiki:Da Basement|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;I really don't think trolls will be enough of a problem for me to twart any.&lt;/span&gt;]] Well, here at least, but I am a [[Wikipedia:User:Gwr2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Wikipedian&lt;/span&gt;]]. Now I'm just ramblin', so [[huttah!|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;MOVING ON&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Miscellaneous Crap&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> <br /> ==== &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Interests&lt;/span&gt; ====<br /> *NOT TV... except for news. I'm an infomaniac.<br /> *HRWiki. Duh.<br /> *Wikipedia<br /> *Algebra<br /> *Heavy-duty walking<br /> *Cats... just not 15 or more in the same room.<br /> *Computers... I'm a geek.<br /> *Testing gullibility<br /> <br /> == [http://www.homestarrunner.com/ &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;Homestar Runner&lt;/span&gt;] &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;and '''Him'''&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> '''Come back tomorrow'''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Wiki Contributions&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> Yes, I know this is sad. I just browse the wiki, not recent changes. Maybe that will change some day!<br /> <br /> ''02:25, 14 October 2005 (UTC)''<br /> <br /> ''Reverted '''1''' troll edit.''<br /> <br /> ''Added '''1''' troll to the [[HRWiki:WikiTroll|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;troll list&lt;/span&gt;]].''<br /> <br /> ''Welcomed '''1''' user successfully ('''1''' unsuccessful welcome&amp;mdash;[[User:Nintendork|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Nintendork&lt;/span&gt;]] - odd sitcheeation)''<br /> <br /> ''Joined '''2''' committees:&lt;br /&gt;[[HRWiki:Welcoming committee|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Welcoming Committee&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;br /&gt;[[HRWiki:Recent changes patrol|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Recent Changes Patrol&lt;/span&gt;]]''<br /> <br /> ''Beat the crap out of spelling and grammatical errors and made some text &lt;sup&gt;superscript&lt;/sup&gt;''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Support Spelling, Capitalization, Punctuation, and Grammar!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> I hereby promise that any grammatical or spelling error that is spotted by me will be immediately fixed.<br /> <br /> Examples of misspelling/grammatical errors (somehow, my '''''language arts''''' teacher made these stnanks):<br /> *Common ''curtsey''... (Curtsey? Don't you mean ''courtesy''?)<br /> *make-up work | make up work | makeup work (Um... the first one is the best choice, but at least be consistent!)<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Support Firefox!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> [http://www.getfirefox.com &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;Get Firefox!&lt;/span&gt;]<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Sig!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #FFFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #00FF00; padding: 2px;&quot;&gt;{{User:gwr2004/sig}}&lt;/div&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == {{subst:User:GWR2004/headtemplate|Miscellaneous Crap}} ==<br /> Goodbye, and [http://gwr.gotdns.com &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;This&lt;/span&gt;] is a (my) Website!!! --&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Notes&lt;/span&gt; == --&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Modules&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #FFCCCC; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #00FF00; padding: 2px; overflow: scroll; height: 250px;&quot;&gt;<br /> === What the crap is a module box? ===<br /> You're looking at one right now. These are for sections that can get kinda outta hand. They have their own scroll box so that it's harder to misinterpret the amount of ''actual'' content just by using the mail window's scrollbar. These are useful for user interaction, like the ever-so-popular guestbook (see below). Made by explicitly stating the size in CSS and using a cool property: &lt;code&gt;&amp;lt;div style=&quot;&lt;/code&gt; your other CSS code &lt;code&gt;overflow: scroll; height: &lt;/code&gt;x&lt;code&gt;;&quot;&amp;gt;content&amp;lt;/div&amp;gt;&lt;/code&gt;<br /> &lt;/div&gt; --&gt;<br /> &lt;/div&gt;</div> Wed, 19 Apr 2006 06:00:45 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004/monobook.css <p>GWR 2004:&#32;User CSS MAJOR!</p> <hr /> <div>/*<br /> ** MediaWiki 'monobook' style sheet for CSS2-capable browsers.<br /> ** Copyright Gabriel Wicke - http://wikidev.net/<br /> ** License: GPL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/gpl.html)<br /> **<br /> ** Loosely based on http://www.positioniseverything.net/ordered-floats.html by Big John<br /> ** and the Plone 2.0 styles, see http://plone.org/ (Alexander Limi,Joe Geldart &amp; Tom Croucher,<br /> ** Michael Zeltner and Geir Bækholt)<br /> ** All you guys rock :)<br /> */<br /> <br /> #column-content {<br /> width: 100%;<br /> float: right;<br /> margin: 0 0 .6em -12.2em;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> }<br /> #content {<br /> margin: 2.8em 0 0 12.2em;<br /> padding: 0 1em 1.5em 1em;<br /> background: black;<br /> color: white;<br /> border: 1px solid #aaa;<br /> border-right: none;<br /> line-height: 1.5em;<br /> position: relative;<br /> z-index: 2;<br /> }<br /> #column-one {<br /> padding-top: 160px;<br /> }<br /> /* the left column width is specified in class .portlet */<br /> <br /> /* Font size:<br /> ** We take advantage of keyword scaling- browsers won't go below 9px<br /> ** More at http://www.w3.org/2003/07/30-font-size<br /> ** http://style.cleverchimp.com/font_size_intervals/altintervals.html<br /> */<br /> <br /> body {<br /> font: x-small sans-serif;<br /> background: #333;<br /> color: white;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* scale back up to a sane default */<br /> #globalWrapper {<br /> font-size: 127%;<br /> width: 100%;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> }<br /> .visualClear {<br /> clear: both;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* general styles */<br /> <br /> table {<br /> font-size: 100%;<br /> background: black;<br /> color: white;<br /> }<br /> a {<br /> text-decoration: none;<br /> color: #0ff;<br /> background: none;<br /> }<br /> a:visited {<br /> color: #00c0ff;<br /> }<br /> a:active {<br /> color: #faa700;<br /> }<br /> a:hover {<br /> color: #0f0;<br /> text-decoration: underline;<br /> }<br /> a.stub {<br /> color: #772233;<br /> }<br /> a.new, #p-personal a.new {<br /> color: #ff0;<br /> }<br /> a.new:visited, #p-personal a.new:visited {<br /> color: #fc0;<br /> }<br /> <br /> img {<br /> border: none;<br /> vertical-align: middle;<br /> }<br /> p {<br /> margin: .4em 0 .5em 0;<br /> line-height: 1.5em;<br /> }<br /> p img {<br /> margin: 0;<br /> }<br /> <br /> hr {<br /> height: 1px;<br /> color: #aaa;<br /> background-color: #aaa;<br /> border: 0;<br /> margin: .2em 0 .2em 0;<br /> }<br /> <br /> h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6 {<br /> color: #cff;<br /> background: none;<br /> font-weight: normal;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> padding-top: .5em;<br /> padding-bottom: .17em;<br /> border-bottom: 1px solid #aaa;<br /> }<br /> h1 { font-size: 188%; }<br /> h2 { font-size: 150%; }<br /> h3, h4, h5, h6 {<br /> border-bottom: none;<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> }<br /> h3 { font-size: 132%; }<br /> h4 { font-size: 116%; }<br /> h5 { font-size: 100%; }<br /> h6 { font-size: 80%; }<br /> <br /> ul {<br /> line-height: 1.5em;<br /> list-style-type: square;<br /> margin: .3em 0 0 1.5em;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> list-style-image: url(bullet.gif);<br /> }<br /> ol {<br /> line-height: 1.5em;<br /> margin: .3em 0 0 3.2em;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> list-style-image: none;<br /> }<br /> li {<br /> margin-bottom: .1em;<br /> }<br /> dt {<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> margin-bottom: .1em;<br /> }<br /> dl {<br /> margin-top: .2em;<br /> margin-bottom: .5em;<br /> }<br /> dd {<br /> line-height: 1.5em;<br /> margin-left: 2em;<br /> margin-bottom: .1em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> fieldset {<br /> border: 1px solid #2f6fab;<br /> margin: 1em 0 1em 0;<br /> padding: 0 1em 1em;<br /> line-height: 1.5em;<br /> }<br /> legend {<br /> background: black;<br /> color: white;<br /> padding: .5em;<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> }<br /> form {<br /> border: none;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> }<br /> <br /> textarea {<br /> width: 100%;<br /> padding: .1em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> input.historysubmit {<br /> padding: 0 .3em .3em .3em !important;<br /> font-size: 94%;<br /> cursor: pointer;<br /> height: 1.7em !important;<br /> margin-left: 1.6em;<br /> }<br /> select {<br /> vertical-align: top;<br /> }<br /> abbr, acronym, .explain {<br /> border-bottom: 1px dotted white;<br /> color: white;<br /> background: none;<br /> cursor: help;<br /> }<br /> q {<br /> font-family: Times, &quot;Times New Roman&quot;, serif;<br /> font-style: italic;<br /> }<br /> /* disabled for now<br /> blockquote {<br /> font-family: Times, &quot;Times New Roman&quot;, serif;<br /> font-style: italic;<br /> }*/<br /> code {<br /> background-color: #333;<br /> }<br /> pre {<br /> padding: 1em;<br /> border: 1px dashed #2f6fab;<br /> color: white;<br /> background-color: #666; /* IT'S JUST A NUMBER! */<br /> line-height: 1.1em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** the main content area<br /> */<br /> <br /> #siteSub {<br /> display: none;<br /> }<br /> #contentSub {<br /> font-size: 84%;<br /> line-height: 1.2em;<br /> margin: 0 0 1.4em 1em;<br /> color: #ffffff;<br /> width: auto;<br /> }<br /> span.subpages {<br /> display: block;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* Some space under the headers in the content area */<br /> #bodyContent h1, #bodyContent h2 {<br /> margin-bottom: .6em;<br /> }<br /> #bodyContent h3, #bodyContent h4, #bodyContent h5 {<br /> margin-bottom: .3em;<br /> }<br /> .firstHeading {<br /> margin-bottom: .1em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* user notification thing */<br /> .usermessage {<br /> background-color: #000080;<br /> border: 1px solid #ffa500;<br /> color: white;<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> margin: 2em 0 1em;<br /> padding: .5em 1em;<br /> vertical-align: middle;<br /> }<br /> #siteNotice {<br /> text-align: center;<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> padding: 0 .9em;<br /> }<br /> #siteNotice p {<br /> margin: 0;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> }<br /> .error {<br /> color: #ff8000;<br /> font-size: larger;<br /> }<br /> #catlinks {<br /> border: 1px solid #aaa;<br /> background-color: #666;<br /> padding: 5px;<br /> margin-top: 1em;<br /> clear: both;<br /> }<br /> /* currently unused, intended to be used by a metadata box<br /> in the bottom-right corner of the content area */<br /> .documentDescription {<br /> /* The summary text describing the document */<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> display: block;<br /> margin: 1em 0;<br /> line-height: 1.5em;<br /> }<br /> .documentByLine {<br /> text-align: right;<br /> font-size: 90%;<br /> clear: both;<br /> font-weight: normal;<br /> color: #ccc;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* emulate center */<br /> .center {<br /> width: 100%;<br /> text-align: center;<br /> }<br /> *.center * {<br /> margin-left: auto;<br /> margin-right: auto;<br /> }<br /> /* small for tables and similar */<br /> .small, .small * {<br /> font-size: 94%;<br /> }<br /> table.small {<br /> font-size: 100%;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** content styles<br /> */<br /> <br /> #toc,<br /> .toc {<br /> border: 1px solid #aaa;<br /> background-color: #666;<br /> padding: 5px;<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> }<br /> #toc h2,<br /> .toc h2 {<br /> display: inline;<br /> border: none;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> font-size: 100%;<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> }<br /> #toc #toctitle,<br /> .toc #toctitle,<br /> #toc .toctitle,<br /> .toc .toctitle {<br /> text-align: center;<br /> }<br /> #toc ul,<br /> .toc ul {<br /> list-style-type: none;<br /> list-style-image: none;<br /> margin-left: 0;<br /> padding-left: 0;<br /> text-align: left;<br /> }<br /> #toc ul ul,<br /> .toc ul ul {<br /> margin: 0 0 0 2em;<br /> }<br /> #toc .toctoggle,<br /> .toc .toctoggle {<br /> font-size: 94%;<br /> }<br /> <br /> <br /> /* images */<br /> div.floatright, table.floatright {<br /> clear: right;<br /> float: right;<br /> position: relative;<br /> margin: 0 0 .5em .5em;<br /> border: 0;<br /> /*<br /> border: .5em solid white;<br /> border-width: .5em 0 .8em 1.4em;<br /> */<br /> }<br /> div.floatright p { font-style: italic; }<br /> div.floatleft, table.floatleft {<br /> float: left;<br /> position: relative;<br /> margin: 0 .5em .5em 0;<br /> border: 0;<br /> /*<br /> margin: .3em .5em .5em 0;<br /> border: .5em solid white;<br /> border-width: .5em 1.4em .8em 0;<br /> */<br /> }<br /> div.floatleft p { font-style: italic; }<br /> /* thumbnails */<br /> div.thumb {<br /> margin-bottom: .5em;<br /> border-style: solid;<br /> border-color: white;<br /> width: auto;<br /> }<br /> div.thumb div {<br /> border: 1px solid #ccc;<br /> padding: 3px !important;<br /> background-color: #666;<br /> font-size: 94%;<br /> text-align: center;<br /> overflow: hidden;<br /> }<br /> div.thumb div a img {<br /> border: 1px solid #ccc;<br /> }<br /> div.thumb div div.thumbcaption {<br /> border: none;<br /> text-align: left;<br /> line-height: 1.4em;<br /> padding: .3em 0 .1em 0;<br /> }<br /> div.magnify {<br /> float: right;<br /> border: none !important;<br /> background: none !important;<br /> }<br /> div.magnify a, div.magnify img {<br /> display: block;<br /> border: none !important;<br /> background: none !important;<br /> }<br /> div.tright {<br /> clear: right;<br /> float: right;<br /> border-width: .5em 0 .8em 1.4em;<br /> }<br /> div.tleft {<br /> float: left;<br /> margin-right: .5em;<br /> border-width: .5em 1.4em .8em 0;<br /> }<br /> <br /> .hiddenStructure {<br /> display: none;<br /> }<br /> img.tex {<br /> vertical-align: middle;<br /> }<br /> span.texhtml {<br /> font-family: serif;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** classes for special content elements like town boxes<br /> ** intended to be referenced directly from the wiki src<br /> */<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** User styles<br /> */<br /> /* table standards */<br /> table.rimage {<br /> float: right;<br /> position: relative;<br /> margin-left: 1em;<br /> margin-bottom: 1em;<br /> text-align: center;<br /> }<br /> .toccolours {<br /> border: 1px solid #aaa;<br /> background-color: #666;<br /> padding: 5px;<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> }<br /> div.townBox {<br /> position: relative;<br /> float: right;<br /> background: black;<br /> margin-left: 1em;<br /> border: 1px solid gray;<br /> padding: .3em;<br /> width: 200px;<br /> overflow: hidden;<br /> clear: right;<br /> }<br /> div.townBox dl {<br /> padding: 0;<br /> margin: 0 0 .3em;<br /> font-size: 96%;<br /> }<br /> div.townBox dl dt {<br /> background: none;<br /> margin: .4em 0 0;<br /> }<br /> div.townBox dl dd {<br /> margin: .1em 0 0 1.1em;<br /> background-color: #666;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** edit views etc<br /> */<br /> .special li {<br /> line-height: 1.4em;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* Page history styling */<br /> /* the auto-generated edit comments */<br /> .autocomment {<br /> color: cfc;<br /> }<br /> #pagehistory span.user {<br /> margin-left: 1.4em;<br /> margin-right: .4em;<br /> }<br /> #pagehistory span.minor {<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> }<br /> #pagehistory li {<br /> border: 1px solid white;<br /> }<br /> #pagehistory li.selected {<br /> background-color: #666;<br /> border: 1px dashed #aaa;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** Diff rendering<br /> */<br /> table.diff, td.diff-otitle, td.diff-ntitle {<br /> background-color: black;<br /> }<br /> td.diff-addedline {<br /> background: #008000;<br /> font-size: smaller;<br /> }<br /> td.diff-deletedline {<br /> background: #800000;<br /> font-size: smaller;<br /> }<br /> td.diff-context {<br /> background: #666;<br /> font-size: smaller;<br /> }<br /> span.diffchange {<br /> color: #ff8000;<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** keep the whitespace in front of the ^=, hides rule from konqueror<br /> ** this is css3, the validator doesn't like it when validating as css2<br /> */<br /> #bodyContent a[href ^=&quot;http://&quot;],<br /> #bodyContent a[href ^=&quot;gopher://&quot;] {<br /> background: url(external.png) center right no-repeat;<br /> padding-right: 13px;<br /> }<br /> #bodyContent a[href ^=&quot;https://&quot;],<br /> .link-https {<br /> background: url(lock_icon.gif) center right no-repeat;<br /> padding-right: 16px;<br /> }<br /> #bodyContent a[href ^=&quot;mailto:&quot;],<br /> .link-mailto {<br /> background: url(mail_icon.gif) center right no-repeat;<br /> padding-right: 18px;<br /> }<br /> #bodyContent a[href ^=&quot;news://&quot;] {<br /> background: url(news_icon.png) center right no-repeat;<br /> padding-right: 18px;<br /> }<br /> #bodyContent a[href ^=&quot;ftp://&quot;],<br /> .link-ftp {<br /> background: url(file_icon.gif) center right no-repeat;<br /> padding-right: 18px;<br /> }<br /> #bodyContent a[href ^=&quot;irc://&quot;],<br /> .link-irc {<br /> background: url(discussionitem_icon.gif) center right no-repeat;<br /> padding-right: 18px;<br /> }<br /> /* disable interwiki styling */<br /> #bodyContent a.extiw,<br /> #bodyContent a.extiw:active {<br /> color: #36b;<br /> background: none;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> }<br /> #bodyContent a.external {<br /> color: #36b;<br /> }<br /> /* this can be used in the content area to switch off<br /> special external link styling */<br /> #bodyContent .plainlinks a {<br /> background: none !important;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> }<br /> /*<br /> ** Structural Elements<br /> */<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** general portlet styles (elements in the quickbar)<br /> */<br /> .portlet {<br /> border: none;<br /> margin: 0 0 .5em;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> float: none;<br /> width: 11.6em;<br /> overflow: hidden;<br /> }<br /> .portlet h4 {<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> font-weight: normal;<br /> white-space: nowrap;<br /> }<br /> .portlet h5 {<br /> background: transparent;<br /> padding: 0 1em 0 .5em;<br /> display: inline;<br /> height: 1em;<br /> text-transform: lowercase;<br /> font-size: 91%;<br /> font-weight: normal;<br /> white-space: nowrap;<br /> }<br /> .portlet h6 {<br /> background: #ffae2e;<br /> border: 1px solid #2f6fab;<br /> border-style: solid solid none solid;<br /> padding: 0 1em 0 1em;<br /> text-transform: lowercase;<br /> display: block;<br /> font-size: 1em;<br /> height: 1.2em;<br /> font-weight: normal;<br /> white-space: nowrap;<br /> }<br /> .pBody {<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> background-color: black;<br /> color: white;<br /> border-collapse: collapse;<br /> border: 1px solid #aaa;<br /> padding: 0 .8em .3em .5em;<br /> }<br /> .portlet h1,<br /> .portlet h2,<br /> .portlet h3,<br /> .portlet h4 {<br /> margin: 0;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> }<br /> .portlet ul {<br /> line-height: 1.5em;<br /> list-style-type: square;<br /> list-style-image: url(bullet.gif);<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> }<br /> .portlet li {<br /> padding: 0;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** Logo properties<br /> */<br /> <br /> #p-logo {<br /> z-index: 3;<br /> position: absolute; /*needed to use z-index */<br /> top: 0;<br /> left: 0;<br /> height: 155px;<br /> width: 12em;<br /> overflow: visible;<br /> }<br /> #p-logo h5 {<br /> display: none;<br /> }<br /> #p-logo a,<br /> #p-logo a:hover {<br /> display: block;<br /> height: 155px;<br /> width: 12.2em;<br /> background-repeat: no-repeat;<br /> background-position: 35% 50% !important;<br /> text-decoration: none;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** the navigation portlet<br /> */<br /> <br /> #p-navigation {<br /> position: relative;<br /> z-index: 3;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** Search portlet<br /> */<br /> #p-search {<br /> position: relative;<br /> z-index: 3;<br /> }<br /> #p-search .pBody {<br /> text-align: center;<br /> }<br /> input.searchButton {<br /> margin-top: 1px;<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> }<br /> #searchGoButton {<br /> padding-left: .5em;<br /> padding-right: .5em;<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> }<br /> #searchInput {<br /> width: 10.9em;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> }<br /> #p-search .pBody {<br /> padding: .5em .4em .4em .4em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** the personal toolbar<br /> */<br /> <br /> #p-personal {<br /> width: 100%;<br /> white-space: nowrap;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> position: absolute;<br /> left: 0;<br /> top: 0;<br /> z-index: 0;<br /> border: none;<br /> background: none;<br /> overflow: visible;<br /> line-height: 1.2em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> #p-personal h5 {<br /> display: none;<br /> }<br /> #p-personal .portlet,<br /> #p-personal .pBody {<br /> padding: 0;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> border: none;<br /> z-index: 0;<br /> overflow: visible;<br /> background: none;<br /> }<br /> /* this is the ul contained in the portlet */<br /> #p-personal ul {<br /> border: none;<br /> line-height: 1.4em;<br /> color: #2f6fab;<br /> padding: 0 2em 0 3em;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> text-align: right;<br /> text-transform: lowercase;<br /> list-style: none;<br /> z-index: 0;<br /> background: none;<br /> }<br /> #p-personal li {<br /> z-index: 0;<br /> border: none;<br /> padding: 0;<br /> display: inline;<br /> color: #2f6fab;<br /> margin-left: 1em;<br /> line-height: 1.2em;<br /> background: none;<br /> }<br /> #p-personal li a {<br /> text-decoration: none;<br /> color: #005896;<br /> padding-bottom: .2em;<br /> background: none;<br /> }<br /> #p-personal li a:hover {<br /> background-color: white;<br /> padding-bottom: .2em;<br /> text-decoration: none;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* the icon in front of the user name, single quotes<br /> in bg url to hide it from iemac */<br /> li#pt-userpage,<br /> li#pt-anonuserpage,<br /> li#pt-login {<br /> background: url(user.gif) top left no-repeat;<br /> padding-left: 20px;<br /> text-transform: none;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** the page-related actions- page/talk, edit etc<br /> */<br /> #p-cactions {<br /> position: absolute;<br /> top: 1.3em;<br /> left: 11.5em;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> white-space: nowrap;<br /> width: 76%;<br /> line-height: 1.1em;<br /> overflow: visible;<br /> background: none;<br /> border-collapse: collapse;<br /> padding-left: 1em;<br /> list-style: none;<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions .hiddenStructure {<br /> display: none;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions ul {<br /> list-style: none;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions li {<br /> display: inline;<br /> border: 1px solid #aaa;<br /> border-bottom: none;<br /> padding: 0 0 .1em 0;<br /> margin: 0 .3em 0 0;<br /> overflow: visible;<br /> background: black;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions li.selected {<br /> border-color: #666;<br /> padding: 0 0 .2em 0;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions li a {<br /> background-color: black;<br /> color: #ccc;<br /> border: none;<br /> padding: 0 .8em .3em .8em;<br /> text-decoration: none;<br /> text-transform: lowercase;<br /> position: relative;<br /> z-index: 0;<br /> margin: 0;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions .selected a {<br /> z-index: 3;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions .new a {<br /> color: #ff0;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions li a:hover {<br /> z-index: 3;<br /> text-decoration: none;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions h5 {<br /> display: none;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions li.istalk {<br /> margin-right: 0;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions li.istalk a {<br /> padding-right: .5em;<br /> }<br /> #p-cactions #ca-addsection a {<br /> padding-left: .4em;<br /> padding-right: .4em;<br /> }<br /> /* offsets to distinguish the tab groups */<br /> li#ca-talk {<br /> margin-right: 1.6em;<br /> }<br /> li#ca-watch, li#ca-unwatch, li#ca-varlang-0, li#ca-print {<br /> margin-left: 1.6em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** the remaining portlets<br /> */<br /> #p-tbx,<br /> #p-lang {<br /> position: relative;<br /> z-index: 3;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** footer<br /> */<br /> #footer {<br /> background-color: black;<br /> border-top: 1px solid #fabd23;<br /> border-bottom: 1px solid #fabd23;<br /> margin: .6em 0 1em 0;<br /> padding: .4em 0 1.2em 0;<br /> text-align: center;<br /> font-size: 90%;<br /> }<br /> #footer li {<br /> display: inline;<br /> margin: 0 1.3em;<br /> }<br /> /* hide from incapable browsers */<br /> head:first-child+body #footer li { white-space: nowrap; }<br /> #f-poweredbyico, #f-copyrightico {<br /> margin: 0 8px;<br /> position: relative;<br /> top: -2px; /* Bump it up just a tad */<br /> }<br /> #f-poweredbyico {<br /> float: right;<br /> height: 1%;<br /> }<br /> #f-copyrightico {<br /> float: left;<br /> height: 1%;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* js pref toc */<br /> #preftoc {<br /> float: left;<br /> margin: 1em;<br /> width: 13em;<br /> }<br /> #preftoc li {<br /> border: 1px solid white;<br /> }<br /> #preftoc li.selected {<br /> background-color: #f9f9f9;<br /> border: 1px dashed #aaa;<br /> }<br /> #preftoc a,<br /> #preftoc a:active {<br /> display: block;<br /> color: #0014a6;<br /> }<br /> #prefcontrol {<br /> clear: both;<br /> float: left;<br /> margin-top: 1em;<br /> }<br /> div.prefsectiontip {<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> margin-top: 1em;<br /> }<br /> fieldset.operaprefsection {<br /> margin-left: 15em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /*<br /> ** IE/Mac fixes, hope to find a validating way to move this<br /> ** to a separate stylesheet. This would work but doesn't validate:<br /> ** @import(&quot;IEMacFixes.css&quot;);<br /> */<br /> /* tabs: border on the a, not the div */<br /> * &gt; html #p-cactions li { border: none; }<br /> * &gt; html #p-cactions li a {<br /> border: 1px solid #aaa;<br /> border-bottom: none;<br /> }<br /> * &gt; html #p-cactions li.selected a { border-color: #fabd23; }<br /> /* footer icons need a fixed width */<br /> * &gt; html #f-poweredbyico,<br /> * &gt; html #f-copyrightico { width: 88px; }<br /> * &gt; html #bodyContent,<br /> * &gt; html #bodyContent pre {<br /> overflow-x: auto;<br /> width: 100%;<br /> padding-bottom: 25px;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* more IE fixes */<br /> /* float/negative margin brokenness */<br /> * html #footer {margin-top: 0;}<br /> * html #column-content {<br /> display: inline;<br /> margin-bottom: 0;<br /> }<br /> * html div.editsection { font-size: smaller; }<br /> #pagehistory li.selected { position: relative; }<br /> <br /> /* Mac IE 5.0 fix; floated content turns invisible */<br /> * &gt; html #column-content {<br /> float: none;<br /> }<br /> * &gt; html #column-one {<br /> position: absolute;<br /> left: 0;<br /> top: 0;<br /> }<br /> * &gt; html #footer {<br /> margin-left: 13.2em;<br /> }<br /> .redirectText {<br /> font-size: 150%;<br /> margin: 5px;<br /> }<br /> <br /> .printfooter {<br /> display: none;<br /> }<br /> <br /> .not-patrolled {<br /> background-color: #808000;<br /> }<br /> div.patrollink {<br /> font-size: 75%;<br /> text-align: right;<br /> }<br /> span.newpage, span.minor, span.searchmatch {<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> }<br /> span.unpatrolled {<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> color: ff8000;<br /> }<br /> <br /> span.searchmatch {<br /> color: ffff00;<br /> }<br /> .sharedUploadNotice {<br /> font-style: italic;<br /> }<br /> <br /> span.updatedmarker {<br /> color: black;<br /> background-color: #008000;<br /> }<br /> span.newpageletter {<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> color: white;<br /> background-color: #008000;<br /> }<br /> span.minoreditletter {<br /> color: white;<br /> background-color: #000080;<br /> }<br /> <br /> table.gallery {<br /> border: 1px solid #ccc;<br /> margin: 2px;<br /> padding: 2px;<br /> background-color: black;<br /> }<br /> <br /> table.gallery tr {<br /> vertical-align: top;<br /> }<br /> <br /> table.gallery td {<br /> vertical-align: top;<br /> background-color: #666;<br /> border: solid 2px white;<br /> }<br /> <br /> div.gallerybox {<br /> margin: 2px;<br /> width: 150px;<br /> }<br /> <br /> div.gallerybox div.thumb {<br /> text-align: center;<br /> border: 1px solid #ccc;<br /> margin: 2px;<br /> }<br /> <br /> div.gallerytext {<br /> font-size: 94%;<br /> padding: 2px 4px;<br /> }<br /> <br /> span.comment {<br /> font-style: italic;<br /> }<br /> <br /> span.changedby {<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> }<br /> <br /> .previewnote {<br /> text-align: center;<br /> color: #ffcccc;<br /> }<br /> .editExternally {<br /> border: 1px solid gray;<br /> background-color: #000;<br /> padding: 3px;<br /> margin-top: 0.5em;<br /> float: left;<br /> font-size: small;<br /> text-align: center;<br /> }<br /> .editExternallyHelp {<br /> font-style: italic;<br /> color: #ccc;<br /> }<br /> <br /> li span.deleted {<br /> text-decoration: line-through;<br /> color: #888;<br /> font-style: italic;<br /> }<br /> <br /> .toggle {<br /> margin-left: 2em;<br /> text-indent: -2em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* Classes for EXIF data display */<br /> table.metadata {<br /> font-size: 0.8em;<br /> margin-left: 0.5em;<br /> margin-bottom: 0.5em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> table.metadata caption {<br /> font-weight: bold;<br /> }<br /> <br /> table.metadata th {<br /> font-weight: normal;<br /> }<br /> <br /> table.metadata td {<br /> padding: 0.1em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> table.metadata {<br /> border: none;<br /> border-collapse: collapse;<br /> }<br /> <br /> table.metadata td, table.metadata th {<br /> text-align: center;<br /> border: 1px solid #aaaaaa;<br /> padding-left: 0.1em;<br /> padding-right: 0.1em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> table.metadata th {<br /> background-color: #666;<br /> }<br /> <br /> table.metadata td {<br /> background-color: #666;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* filetoc */<br /> ul#filetoc {<br /> text-align: center;<br /> border: 1px solid #aaaaaa;<br /> background-color: #666;<br /> padding: 5px;<br /> font-size: 95%;<br /> margin-bottom: 0.5em;<br /> margin-left: 0;<br /> margin-right: 0;<br /> }<br /> <br /> #filetoc li {<br /> display: inline;<br /> list-style-type: none;<br /> padding-right: 2em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> /* @bug 1714 */<br /> input#wpSave, input#wpDiff {<br /> margin-right: 0.33em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> <br /> /* Classes for article validation */<br /> <br /> table.revisionform_default {<br /> border: 1px solid #fff;<br /> }<br /> <br /> table.revisionform_focus {<br /> border: 1px solid #fff;<br /> background-color:#008080;<br /> }<br /> <br /> tr.revision_tr_default {<br /> background-color:#333;<br /> }<br /> <br /> tr.revision_tr_first {<br /> background-color:#444;<br /> }<br /> <br /> p.revision_saved {<br /> color: #0f0;<br /> font-weight:bold;<br /> }<br /> <br /> #mw_trackbacks {<br /> border: solid 1px #bbbbff;<br /> background-color: #336;<br /> padding: 0.2em;<br /> }<br /> <br /> <br /> /* Allmessages table */<br /> <br /> #allmessagestable th {<br /> background-color: #446;<br /> }<br /> <br /> #allmessagestable tr.orig {<br /> background-color: #644;<br /> }<br /> <br /> #allmessagestable tr.new {<br /> background-color: #464;<br /> }<br /> <br /> #allmessagestable tr.def {<br /> background-color: #336;<br /> }</div> Wed, 19 Apr 2006 05:46:29 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004/monobook.css http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004 <p>GWR 2004:&#32;MORE data</p> <hr /> <div>&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: 'trebuchet ms', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; background-color: #000066; color: #FFFFFF; border: 2px solid #0000FF; padding: 2px; font-size: 110%;&quot; class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #FF0000; padding: 2px; font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;GWR 2004&lt;/div&gt;<br /> &lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;border: 2px solid #FF9900; background-color: #00FF00; color: #000000;&quot;&gt;'''GWR 2004 is Active! You can [[User_talk:GWR_2004|bother me]]!'''&lt;/div&gt;<br /> '''No more monospace!'''<br /> __FORCETOC__<br /> {{userboxtop}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#006400|mainbkgd=#ADFF2F|codebkgd=#2E8B57|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:HomsarPotion-ma-jig.png|30px]]|msg=This user enjoys doing '''[[HRWiki:WikiGnome|Gnome work]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF6103|codebkgd=#000000 |codecolor=#FF6103|code=RC|msg=This user patrols '''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent Changes]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#00008B|mainbkgd=#F5F5F5|codebkgd=#0000CD |codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=WP|msg=This user is also on '''[[Wikipedia:User:Gwr2004|Wikipedia]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#DAA520|mainbkgd=#FAFAD2|codebkgd=#F0E68C|codecolor=#000000|code=UN|msg=This user is also on '''&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004 Uncyclopedia]&lt;/span&gt;'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#FFFF00|mainbkgd=#FFFF00|codebkgd=#FF0000|codecolor=#9900FF|code=YIM|msg=This user has an '''&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;Instant message address (that I almost never use, so don't ask me for it)&lt;/span&gt;'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FFFFFF|codebkgd=#000000|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=EM|msg=This user has an '''Email address'''.}}<br /> {{userbox-nc|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FFF|msg=&lt;table width=&quot;100%&quot;&gt;&lt;tr style=&quot;background:#E0F5E1&quot;&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Courier New, monospace&quot;&gt;'''&gt; [[Special:Emailuser/{{PAGENAME}}|Click here]] to'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr style=&quot;background:#E0F5E1&quot;&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Courier New, monospace&quot;&gt;'''email this user'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:qod 2 - strong bad.PNG|35px]]|msg=This user's favorite character is '''[[Strong Bad]]'''.}}<br /> |}<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;About the Formatting&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> No matter how much you try to make your computer screen a piece of paper, all that white will strain your eyes. It's light! It's going to do that! Light text on a dark background will cut down the light and conserve your eyes. Hence, this heavy formatting.<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;About the User&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> === &lt;div style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Time Spent at Home&lt;/div&gt; ===<br /> &lt;table cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; width=&quot;100%&quot;&gt;&lt;tr&gt;<br /> &lt;td style=&quot;background-color: #FF0000;&quot; width=&quot;55%&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #FFFFFF;&quot;&gt;Bedroom&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;background-color: #00FF00; color: #000000;&quot; width=&quot;45%&quot;&gt;Elsewhere&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Basic Information&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> {| style=&quot;background-color: #000099; border: 2px solid #00FFFF; color: #FFFFFF;&quot;<br /> |-<br /> ! Field !! Data<br /> |-<br /> | Age || 14<br /> |-<br /> | Gender || Male<br /> |-<br /> | E-Mail || See the pretty toolbox or the even ''prettier'' userbox!<br /> |-<br /> | State || [[Wikipedia:Missouri|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Missouri&lt;/span&gt;]]<br /> |}<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;The HRWiki and me&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> I've been a member of this fine wiki since October 4, 2004. I mainly fix grammatical and spelling errors and vote in the [useful] [[HRWiki:STUFF|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;STUFF&lt;/span&gt;]]. Occasionally I participate in discussions. [[HRWiki:Da Basement|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;I really don't think trolls will be enough of a problem for me to twart any.&lt;/span&gt;]] Well, here at least, but I am a [[Wikipedia:User:Gwr2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Wikipedian&lt;/span&gt;]]. Now I'm just ramblin', so [[huttah!|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;MOVING ON&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Miscellaneous Crap&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> <br /> ==== &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Interests&lt;/span&gt; ====<br /> *NOT TV... except for news. I'm an infomaniac.<br /> *HRWiki. Duh.<br /> *Wikipedia<br /> *Algebra<br /> *Heavy-duty walking<br /> *Cats... just not 15 or more in the same room.<br /> *Computers... I'm a geek.<br /> *Testing gullibility<br /> <br /> == [http://www.homestarrunner.com/ &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;Homestar Runner&lt;/span&gt;] &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;and '''Him'''&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> '''Come back tomorrow'''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Wiki Contributions&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> Yes, I know this is sad. I just browse the wiki, not recent changes. Maybe that will change some day!<br /> <br /> ''02:25, 14 October 2005 (UTC)''<br /> <br /> ''Reverted '''1''' troll edit.''<br /> <br /> ''Added '''1''' troll to the [[HRWiki:WikiTroll|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;troll list&lt;/span&gt;]].''<br /> <br /> ''Welcomed '''1''' user successfully ('''1''' unsuccessful welcome&amp;mdash;[[User:Nintendork|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Nintendork&lt;/span&gt;]] - odd sitcheeation)''<br /> <br /> ''Joined '''2''' committees:&lt;br /&gt;[[HRWiki:Welcoming committee|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Welcoming Committee&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;br /&gt;[[HRWiki:Recent changes patrol|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Recent Changes Patrol&lt;/span&gt;]]''<br /> <br /> ''Beat the crap out of spelling and grammatical errors and made some text &lt;sup&gt;superscript&lt;/sup&gt;''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Support Spelling, Capitalization, Punctuation, and Grammar!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> I hereby promise that any grammatical or spelling error that is spotted by me will be immediately fixed.<br /> <br /> Examples of misspelling/grammatical errors (somehow, my '''''language arts''''' teacher made these stnanks):<br /> *Common ''curtsey''... (Curtsey? Don't you mean ''courtesy''?)<br /> *make-up work | make up work | makeup work (Um... the first one is the best choice, but at least be consistent!)<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Support Firefox!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> [http://www.getfirefox.com &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;Get Firefox!&lt;/span&gt;]<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Sig!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #FFFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #00FF00; padding: 2px;&quot;&gt;{{User:gwr2004/sig}}&lt;/div&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == {{subst:User:GWR2004/headtemplate|Miscellaneous Crap}} ==<br /> Goodbye, and [http://gwr.gotdns.com &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;This&lt;/span&gt;] is a (my) Website!!! --&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Notes&lt;/span&gt; == --&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Modules&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #FFCCCC; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #00FF00; padding: 2px; overflow: scroll; height: 250px;&quot;&gt;<br /> === What the crap is a module box? ===<br /> You're looking at one right now. These are for sections that can get kinda outta hand. They have their own scroll box so that it's harder to misinterpret the amount of ''actual'' content just by using the mail window's scrollbar. These are useful for user interaction, like the ever-so-popular guestbook (see below). Made by explicitly stating the size in CSS and using a cool property: &lt;code&gt;&amp;lt;div style=&quot;&lt;/code&gt; your other CSS code &lt;code&gt;overflow: scroll; height: &lt;/code&gt;x&lt;code&gt;;&quot;&amp;gt;content&amp;lt;/div&amp;gt;&lt;/code&gt;<br /> &lt;/div&gt; --&gt;<br /> &lt;/div&gt;</div> Wed, 19 Apr 2006 04:24:45 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004/Talk_Archive <p>GWR 2004:&#32;Fontage, flush</p> <hr /> <div>&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: 'trebuchet ms', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; background-color: #000066; color: #FFFFFF; border: 2px solid #0000FF; padding: 2px; font-size: 110%;&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #FF0000; padding: 2px; font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;GWR 2004 Talk Archive&lt;/div&gt;<br /> ''This is the sewer where the flushed messages from my [[User talk:GWR_2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;'''talk page'''&lt;/span&gt;]] end up.''<br /> <br /> '''''Do not''' post new messages here! They '''will''' get ignored!''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Image in sig&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> Hi there GWR 2004. The image in your sig is not working and is causing pages to load slowly. Please consider changing or removing it. Thanks.[[User:Tom|&lt;nowiki&gt;&lt;/nowiki&gt;]] -- [[User:Tom|Tom]] 14:51, 10 October 2005 (UTC)<br /> :Done. '''&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, tahoma, arial, bitstream vera sans;&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;&amp;mdash;[http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/User:GWR_2004 http://www.hrwiki.org/images/3/31/GWR_Wikisig.gif]&lt;/span&gt;[[User:GWR_2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #FF0000&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #F30500&quot;&gt;W&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #E81000&quot;&gt;R&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style=&quot;color: #DD1600&quot;&gt;2&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #D21B00&quot;&gt;0&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #C72100&quot;&gt;0&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #BC2600&quot;&gt;4&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User_talk:GWR_2004|&lt;sup&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #B12C00&quot;&gt;T&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #A63200&quot;&gt;a&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #963700&quot;&gt;l&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #903D00&quot;&gt;k&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;]][[Special:Contributions/GWR_2004|&lt;sub&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #854200&quot;&gt;C&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #794800&quot;&gt;o&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #6E4D00&quot;&gt;n&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #635300&quot;&gt;t&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #585900&quot;&gt;r&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #4D5E00&quot;&gt;i&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #426400&quot;&gt;b&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #376900&quot;&gt;s&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;]]&lt;sup&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #2C6F00&quot;&gt;X&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #008000&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #217400&quot;&gt;A&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #008000&quot;&gt;S&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/span&gt;'''&lt;!-- 23 --&gt; 20:10, 10 October 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ==&lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Very odd&lt;/span&gt;==<br /> <br /> According to the [http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/HRWiki_talk:Upgrade_to_MediaWiki_1.5#Well.2C_this_is_odd &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;dump&lt;/span&gt;], it has something to do with stuff I [[Special:Contributions/GWR 2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;deleted&lt;/span&gt;]] before requesting the contributions move. '''&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, tahoma, arial, bitstream vera sans;&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;&amp;mdash;[http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/User:GWR_2004 http://www.hrwiki.org/images/3/31/GWR_Wikisig.gif]&lt;/span&gt;[[User:GWR_2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #FF0000&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #F30500&quot;&gt;W&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #E81000&quot;&gt;R&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style=&quot;color: #DD1600&quot;&gt;2&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #D21B00&quot;&gt;0&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #C72100&quot;&gt;0&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #BC2600&quot;&gt;4&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User_talk:GWR_2004|&lt;sup&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #B12C00&quot;&gt;T&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #A63200&quot;&gt;a&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #963700&quot;&gt;l&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #903D00&quot;&gt;k&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;]][[Special:Contributions/GWR_2004|&lt;sub&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #854200&quot;&gt;C&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #794800&quot;&gt;o&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #6E4D00&quot;&gt;n&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #635300&quot;&gt;t&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #585900&quot;&gt;r&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #4D5E00&quot;&gt;i&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #426400&quot;&gt;b&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #376900&quot;&gt;s&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;]]&lt;sup&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #2C6F00&quot;&gt;X&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #008000&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #217400&quot;&gt;A&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #008000&quot;&gt;S&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/span&gt;'''&lt;!-- 23 --&gt; 23:12, 11 October 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ==&lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Sig&lt;/span&gt;==<br /> <br /> Well, your signature is certainly colorful and interesting! So you definitely get points for style and creativity. However, it's taking up too much vertical space, and the background is giving your sig too much relative salience. Would you mind going back to the more conventional one, please. Thanks. &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;It's dot com&lt;/span&gt;]] 03:15, 17 October 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Template Numbering&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> In [[Template:STUFF/bedtime story|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Template:STUFF/bedtime story&lt;/span&gt;]], the signature template in question originally had an extra line but has since been fixed. Thanks for catching &amp; fixing the change! --[[User:Stux|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Stux&lt;/span&gt;]] 20:45, 28 October 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Strange Templates ==<br /> <br /> I'm curious, why do you have a {{subst:ser:GWR_2004/intlink|User:GWR 2004/intlink|template}} that does nothing but insert a link? It seems like all you're doing is causing system resources to be used up unnecessarily. Is there some hidden benefit to this I'm not seeing? &amp;mdash; {{User:JoeyDay/sig}} 19:44, 28 December 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> Actually, now that I'm looking a little more closely I'm seeing all kinds of weird templates that belong to you. Why are you replacing standard wiki code with unnecessarily long template code and causing unnecessary strain on the server in the process? &amp;mdash; {{User:JoeyDay/sig}} 19:50, 28 December 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Your awesome HTML ==<br /> :Hi gwr2004. I was wondering... would it be ok if I used that awesome title design on your user and talk page for my user page? (The colors will be changed, definately).<br /> :Sincerely,<br /> :{{User:Bubsty/sig}} 00:48, 12 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::I'm all about open source and sharing. I really don't care. It's fine by me. {{User:gwr2004/sig}} 03:14, 12 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> &lt;/div&gt;</div> Wed, 19 Apr 2006 03:08:01 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004/Talk_Archive http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004 <p>GWR 2004:&#32;Fontage, flush</p> <hr /> <div>__FORCETOC__<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;font-family: 'trebuchet ms', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; background-color: #000066; color: #FFFFFF; border: 2px solid #0000FF; padding: 2px; font-size: 110%;&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #FF0000; padding: 2px; font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;GWR 2004 Talk&lt;/div&gt;<br /> ''This page will be periodically cleaned out as to flush outdated messages.''<br /> &lt;!-- Messages go above this line! --&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;<br /> [[User:GWR_2004/Talk_Archive|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;User Talk Archive&lt;/span&gt;]]<br /> &lt;/div&gt;</div> Wed, 19 Apr 2006 03:06:26 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004 <p>GWR 2004:&#32;Minor updates, activity bar, fontage</p> <hr /> <div>&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: 'trebuchet ms', arial, helvetica, sans-serif; background-color: #000066; color: #FFFFFF; border: 2px solid #0000FF; padding: 2px; font-size: 110%;&quot; class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #FF0000; padding: 2px; font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;GWR 2004&lt;/div&gt;<br /> &lt;div align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;border: 2px solid #FF9900; background-color: #00FF00; color: #000000;&quot;&gt;'''GWR 2004 is Active! You can [[User_talk:GWR_2004|bother me]]!'''&lt;/div&gt;<br /> '''No more monospace!'''<br /> __FORCETOC__<br /> {{userboxtop}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#006400|mainbkgd=#ADFF2F|codebkgd=#2E8B57|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:HomsarPotion-ma-jig.png|30px]]|msg=This user enjoys doing '''[[HRWiki:WikiGnome|Gnome work]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF6103|codebkgd=#000000 |codecolor=#FF6103|code=RC|msg=This user patrols '''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent Changes]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#00008B|mainbkgd=#F5F5F5|codebkgd=#0000CD |codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=WP|msg=This user is also on '''[[Wikipedia:User:Gwr2004|Wikipedia]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#DAA520|mainbkgd=#FAFAD2|codebkgd=#F0E68C|codecolor=#000000|code=UN|msg=This user is also on '''&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004 Uncyclopedia]&lt;/span&gt;'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#FFFF00|mainbkgd=#FFFF00|codebkgd=#FF0000|codecolor=#9900FF|code=YIM|msg=This user has an '''&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;Instant message address&lt;/span&gt;'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FFFFFF|codebkgd=#000000|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=EM|msg=This user has an '''Email address'''.}}<br /> {{userbox-nc|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FFF|msg=&lt;table width=&quot;100%&quot;&gt;&lt;tr style=&quot;background:#E0F5E1&quot;&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Courier New, monospace&quot;&gt;'''&gt; [[Special:Emailuser/{{PAGENAME}}|Click here]] to'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr style=&quot;background:#E0F5E1&quot;&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Courier New, monospace&quot;&gt;'''email this user'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:qod 2 - strong bad.PNG|35px]]|msg=This user's favorite character is '''[[Strong Bad]]'''.}}<br /> |}<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;About the Formatting&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> No matter how much you try to make your computer screen a piece of paper, all that white will strain your eyes. It's light! It's going to do that! Light text on a dark background will cut down the light and conserve your eyes. Hence, this heavy formatting.<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;About the User&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> === &lt;div style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Time Spent at Home&lt;/div&gt; ===<br /> &lt;table cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; width=&quot;100%&quot;&gt;&lt;tr&gt;<br /> &lt;td style=&quot;background-color: #FF0000;&quot; width=&quot;55%&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #FFFFFF;&quot;&gt;Bedroom&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;background-color: #00FF00; color: #000000;&quot; width=&quot;45%&quot;&gt;Elsewhere&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Basic Information&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> {| style=&quot;background-color: #000099; border: 2px solid #00FFFF; color: #FFFFFF;&quot;<br /> |-<br /> ! Field !! Data<br /> |-<br /> | Age || 14<br /> |-<br /> | Gender || Male<br /> |-<br /> | E-Mail || See the pretty toolbox or the even ''prettier'' userbox!<br /> |-<br /> | State || [[Wikipedia:Missouri|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Missouri&lt;/span&gt;]]<br /> |}<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;The HRWiki and me&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> I've been a member of this fine wiki since October 4, 2004. I mainly fix grammatical and spelling errors and vote in the [useful] [[HRWiki:STUFF|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;STUFF&lt;/span&gt;]]. Occasionally I participate in discussions. [[HRWiki:Da Basement|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;I really don't think trolls will be enough of a problem for me to twart any.&lt;/span&gt;]] Well, here at least, but I am a [[Wikipedia:User:Gwr2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Wikipedian&lt;/span&gt;]]. Now I'm just ramblin', so [[huttah!|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;MOVING ON&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Miscellaneous Crap&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> <br /> ==== &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Interests&lt;/span&gt; ====<br /> *NOT TV... except for news. I'm an infomaniac.<br /> *HRWiki. Duh.<br /> *Wikipedia<br /> *Algebra<br /> *Heavy-duty walking<br /> *Cats... just not 15 or more in the same room.<br /> *Computers... I'm a geek.<br /> *Testing gullibility<br /> <br /> == [http://www.homestarrunner.com/ &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;Homestar Runner&lt;/span&gt;] &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;and '''Him'''&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> '''Come back tomorrow'''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Wiki Contributions&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> Yes, I know this is sad. I just browse the wiki, not recent changes. Maybe that will change some day!<br /> <br /> ''02:25, 14 October 2005 (UTC)''<br /> <br /> ''Reverted '''1''' troll edit.''<br /> <br /> ''Added '''1''' troll to the [[HRWiki:WikiTroll|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;troll list&lt;/span&gt;]].''<br /> <br /> ''Welcomed '''1''' user successfully ('''1''' unsuccessful welcome&amp;mdash;[[User:Nintendork|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Nintendork&lt;/span&gt;]] - odd sitcheeation)''<br /> <br /> ''Joined '''2''' committees:&lt;br /&gt;[[HRWiki:Welcoming committee|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Welcoming Committee&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;br /&gt;[[HRWiki:Recent changes patrol|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Recent Changes Patrol&lt;/span&gt;]]''<br /> <br /> ''Beat the crap out of spelling and grammatical errors and made some text &lt;sup&gt;superscript&lt;/sup&gt;''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Support Spelling, Capitalization, Punctuation, and Grammar!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> I hereby promise that any grammatical or spelling error that is spotted by me will be immediately fixed.<br /> <br /> Examples of misspelling/grammatical errors (somehow, my '''''language arts''''' teacher made these stnanks):<br /> *Common ''curtsey''... (Curtsey? Don't you mean ''courtesy''?)<br /> *make-up work | make up work | makeup work (Um... the first one is the best choice, but at least be consistent!)<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Support Firefox!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> [http://www.getfirefox.com &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;Get Firefox!&lt;/span&gt;]<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Sig!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #FFFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #00FF00; padding: 2px;&quot;&gt;{{User:gwr2004/sig}}&lt;/div&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == {{subst:User:GWR2004/headtemplate|Miscellaneous Crap}} ==<br /> Goodbye, and [http://gwr.gotdns.com &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;This&lt;/span&gt;] is a (my) Website!!! --&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Notes&lt;/span&gt; == --&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Modules&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #FFCCCC; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #00FF00; padding: 2px; overflow: scroll; height: 250px;&quot;&gt;<br /> === What the crap is a module box? ===<br /> You're looking at one right now. These are for sections that can get kinda outta hand. They have their own scroll box so that it's harder to misinterpret the amount of ''actual'' content just by using the mail window's scrollbar. These are useful for user interaction, like the ever-so-popular guestbook (see below). Made by explicitly stating the size in CSS and using a cool property: &lt;code&gt;&amp;lt;div style=&quot;&lt;/code&gt; your other CSS code &lt;code&gt;overflow: scroll; height: &lt;/code&gt;x&lt;code&gt;;&quot;&amp;gt;content&amp;lt;/div&amp;gt;&lt;/code&gt;<br /> &lt;/div&gt; --&gt;<br /> &lt;/div&gt;</div> Wed, 19 Apr 2006 03:05:00 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Marzipan%27s_Answering_Machine_Version_13.2 <p>GWR 2004:&#32;Whether a goof or a glitch, it's still a pain.</p> <hr /> <div>{{mamnav|13|Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 12.2|Version 12.2|Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 1.0|Version 1.0}}<br /> [[Image:MAM13-BananaPhone.png|thumb|PLZ GET EGGS,MILK?]]<br /> <br /> Homestar gets hold of a banana, The Cheat and The King of Town cut a demo, we hear two blasts from the past, and Marzipan's magazine subscription is about to erupt.<br /> <br /> '''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Marzipan}}, {{Film|Homestar Runner}}, {{Film|The King of Town}}, {{Film|Old-Timey Strong Bad}}, {{Film|The Cheat}}, {{Film|The Homestar Runner}}, {{Film|Strong Bad}}<br /> <br /> '''Places:''' [[Marzipan's House]]<br /> <br /> '''Date:''' February 27, 2006<br /> <br /> '''Running Time:''' 4:24<br /> <br /> '''Page Title:''' Marzipan's Answering Machine<br /> <br /> ==Transcript==<br /> === Marzipan's Greeting ===<br /> '''MARZIPAN:''' ''{sounding more depressed than usual}'' Hi, this is Marzipan. I'm probably outside eating some dirt or something. So just leave me a message.<br /> <br /> === Message 6 ===<br /> <br /> '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh hey Marzipan, it's Homestar. Check it out, I'm on Pom Pom's cell phone, I'm gonna send you a text message. Are you ready? Here goes... P... L... Z... Spacebar... G... E... T... Spacebar... ''{Homestar is seen walking by, holding a banana up to his ear as a telephone}'' E... G... G... S... Spacebar, oh! Back spacebar, comma, M... I... L... K... Question mark? Okay, now I have to send it. Boo boo doot! This is great, now we don't have to talk anymore! Bye!<br /> <br /> === Message 5 ===<br /> <br /> '''THE KING OF TOWN:''' It's my new jam! ''{guitar starts in the background}'' I'm not talking about butter, or how nobody likes me. It's the new KOT, in the two thousand three plus three. I play guitar apparently. ''{guitar stops}'' Okay Marzipan, this was the only way I knew of to cut my demo. So I'll need to come over there soon and unreasonably search and seize this tape from you. See ya in a bit!<br /> <br /> === Message 4 ===<br /> <br /> '''OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD:''' Yes yes, what what? Testing testing, two and three. I've got a hankerin' for a prankerin'! This telegrammaphone recording will be launched forthwith into the stratosphere, in the hopes that one day, many decades ''{the last syllable isn't stressed, as deh-kids}'' from now, some buck-tooth&amp;egrave;d fool will receive it, and be thoroughly bamboozled! Yes now, on with the prank! What's the difference between William Henry Harrison, and James Garfield? Answer: Nothing! They both enjoy lasagna. Stop!<br /> <br /> === Message 3 ===<br /> <br /> '''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises}''<br /> <br /> ''{A remix of The King of Town's jam plays.}''<br /> <br /> '''THE KING OF TOWN:'''&lt;br/&gt;<br /> I-i-i-i-it's my it's my new jam!&lt;br/&gt;<br /> New jam! N-n-n-n-n-n-new jam!&lt;br/&gt;<br /> Not talkin' 'bout ''{KOT!}''&lt;br/&gt;<br /> Not talkin' 'bout &lt;br/&gt;<br /> Not talkin' 'bout three plus three!&lt;br/&gt;<br /> Not talkin' 'bout&lt;br/&gt;<br /> Not talkin' 'bout&lt;br/&gt;<br /> Not talkin' 'bout KOT!&lt;br/&gt;<br /> Not talkin' 'bout&lt;br/&gt;<br /> Not talkin' 'bout&lt;br/&gt;<br /> Not talkin' 'bout three plus three!&lt;br/&gt;<br /> Not talkin' 'bout&lt;br/&gt;<br /> Not talkin' 'bout&lt;br/&gt;<br /> Not talkin' 'bout butter!&lt;br/&gt;<br /> Not talkin' 'bout&lt;br/&gt;<br /> Not talkin' 'bout&lt;br/&gt;<br /> Not talkin' 'bout three plus three!<br /> <br /> === Message 2 ===<br /> <br /> '''THE HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Hi low, can anybody hear me? Give me the hiiiigh sign. It's The Homestar Runner, speaking into an empty soup can, with a length of twine coming from the 'neath. Hello, empty soup can. Hello, length of twine. You seem like mighty fine fellers. Why, I ought to fill you up with catgut and call you lunch. See you around... Brown.<br /> <br /> === Message 1 ===<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' Hello Marzipan, this is Lorenz... Magazine... Man, calling to tell you that your subscription to Soy... Bread... Tofu... Hybrid... Cars... Magazine, is about to erupt! You need to evacuate! It's gonna blow sky high! Get out while you can! So what you gotta do is &amp;mdash; and believe me, I'm Lorenz Magazine Man who are&amp;mdash; who you're gonna trust &amp;mdash; is bake all your money into a no-bake apple pie, and set it cooling on your windowsill. So that way, once the eruption is great, you can come home and eat pie and money! Because it's still going to be there, on your windowsill! Am I wr&amp;mdash; am I wrong? Somebody, am I wrong? Everybody in here at the office with their headsets on said &quot;you're not wrong&quot;. So this is Lorenz Magazine Man saying...the magma is seeping under the door.<br /> <br /> == Easter Eggs==<br /> [[Image:NotTalkinBoutButter.png|thumb|&quot;Not Talkin' 'Bout Butter&quot;]]<br /> *Click the tape holder after the last message to see a scene between the King of Town and The Cheat.<br /> :''{Cut to a more distant view of Marzipan's answering machine. Enter The Cheat from the left.}''<br /> :'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises in a singsong voice}''<br /> :''{Enter the King of Town from the right}''<br /> :'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{to the same tune}'' Doo doo doo doo doo!<br /> :'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{loud, surprised The Cheat noise}''<br /> :'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' ''{simultaneously}'' Oh! ''{alone}'' The Cheat! What are you doing here?<br /> :'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises}''<br /> :'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' A ''remix''? But I gotta cut my demo! My new album needs to drop!<br /> :'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises}''<br /> :'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' Oooh! A split seven-inch, eh?<br /> :''{A record for &quot;Not Talkin' 'bout Butter&quot; in a jacket designed like a playing card with The Cheat in the upper half and the King of Town in the lower half appears at the front of the screen. In between The Cheat and The King of Town there are the words, &quot;DJ Teh Cheat b/w The New Kot&quot;.}''<br /> <br /> ==Fun Facts==<br /> {{checkstuffpage}}<br /> <br /> ===Explanations===<br /> <br /> *A high sign is &quot;a gesture used as a signal (as of approval or warning) -- usually used in the phrase ''give the high sign''.&quot; [http://www.webster.com/dictionary/high%20sign (Webster)]<br /> *A 7 inch is a [[Wikipedia:Gramophone_record|vinyl record]], commonly refered to as a 45 because it is spun at 45 r.p.m. on a turntable. It is the format used for singles and each side normally holds one song. A split 7 inch would have two songs from two different artists, one on either side.<br /> *[[Wikipedia:Magma|Magma]] is molten rock located beneath the surface of the Earth. In a volcanic eruption, it emerges in the form of flowing lava.<br /> *[[Wikipedia:Catgut|Catgut]] is a tough cord made from sheep or goat (not cat) intestines. It is commonly used for violin strings, and for stitching up wounds.<br /> <br /> ===Trivia===<br /> <br /> *When this cartoon was released, the link from the [[Toons Menu|Toons menu]] was directed to [[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 12.2]]. The link was fixed the same day.<br /> *This is the first Answering Machine in which The Cheat, The Homestar Runner and Old Timey Strong Bad leave messages.<br /> <br /> ===Remarks===<br /> *The Homestar Runner and Old-Timey Strong Bad's voices are significantly higher than in their previous appearances.<br /> *Two wires (presumably the power and the telephone line) are seen plugged into the back of the answering machine, but only the power cord is seen plugged in. This could be explained by the telephone jack being above the outlet, and obscured by the table.<br /> <br /> ===Glitches===<br /> *Once you get to message 5, you can't go back to message 6 using the back button on the answering machine.<br /> <br /> ===Inside References===<br /> <br /> *&quot;DJ Teh Cheat&quot; is a reference to [[geddup noise]].<br /> *The Cheat's remix of the King of Town's new jam ends in the same way as [[Everybody to the Limit]].<br /> *&quot;From the 'neath&quot; may be a reference to the phrase &quot;From the 'bove&quot;, which appeared in [[Moving Very Slowly]] and later in [[That Time of Year]].<br /> *This is another mention of [[Pom Pom]]'s [[Cell Phone]], [[Eggs|eggs]], [[Presidents]], and [[Pie|pie]].<br /> *Using &quot;[[b/w]]&quot; instead of &quot;with&quot; is a [[Running Gags|running gag]] that started in [[Strong Sad's Lament]]. However, &quot;b/w&quot; is appropriate in this case, since The King Of Town mentions that it is a split seven-inch single.<br /> *[[Cheap as Free]] makes another appearance, this time on the record jacket.<br /> *Homestar using a banana as a phone is the second instance of Homestar Runner [[Foods used as phones|using food as a phone]]. The first was in [[Where the Crap Are We?]].<br /> <br /> ===Real-World References===<br /> <br /> *The King of Town's phrasing &quot;unreasonably search and seize&quot; derives from the [[Wikipedia:Fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fourth Amendment]] to the [[Wikipedia:United States Constitution|United States Constitution]], which protects against unreasonable searches and seizures.<br /> *[[Wikipedia:William Henry Harrison|William Henry Harrison]], the 9th [[Wikipedia:President of the United States|president of the United States]], and [[Wikipedia:James Garfield|James Garfield]], the 20th president, held the shortest terms in office at just one month and six months, respectively.<br /> **President Garfield's enjoying lasagna is a reference to lasagna-loving [[Wikipedia:Garfield |Garfield the Cat]].<br /> *Strong Bad saying &quot;Am I wrong? Somebody, am I wrong?&quot; is probably a reference to Walter Sobchak, [[Wikipedia:John Goodman|John Goodman]]'s character in [[Wikipedia:The Big Lebowski |The Big Lebowski]], who repeats the phrase constantly.<br /> &lt;!-- The bananaphone/Raffi connection was rejected. Please do not add this as a Fun Fact. --&gt;<br /> <br /> == External Links ==<br /> *[[HR:answer13.html|watch &quot;Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 13.2&quot;]]<br /> *[[HR:answer13.swf|view the Flash file for &quot;Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 13.2&quot;]]<br /> *[[Forum:7215|forum thread re: &quot;Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 13.2&quot;]]<br /> <br /> {{Marzipan's Answering Machine}}<br /> <br /> [[Category:Marzipan's Answering Machine| 13]] &lt;!--the space before the number is very important--&gt;</div> Sat, 04 Mar 2006 04:55:57 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Talk:Marzipan%27s_Answering_Machine_Version_13.2 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004/welcome <p>GWR 2004:&#32;Font'd!</p> <hr /> <div>== Welcome! ==<br /> &lt;!-- Start of the welcome message - Start deleting from the line just above. --&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;font-family: 'lucida console', 'bitstream vera sans mono'; background-color: #000066; color: #FFFFFF; border: 2px solid #0000FF; padding: 2px;&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #FF0000; padding: 2px; font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;Welcome to the Homestar Runner Wiki!&lt;/div&gt;<br /> Welcome to the '''Homestar Runner Wiki!''' We're glad to have you as a member. If you need any help, feel free to ask anyone on the [[HRWiki:Welcoming committee#Members|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;welcoming committee&lt;/span&gt;]]. You can also post questions on the [[HRWiki talk:FAQ|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;FAQ talk page&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> <br /> Here are some tips to get you started:<br /> * If you need general information, editing tips, or answers to frequently asked questions, check out the [[Help:Contents|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;help&lt;/span&gt;]] page.<br /> * Before you do any significant editing, be sure to familiarize yourself with our [[HRWiki:Standards|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;wiki standards&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> * Read up on the rules and guidelines for your [[HRWiki:User space|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;user page&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> * If you're not sure what you can do to help out, head over to [[HRWiki:The Stick|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;The Stick&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> * If you're looking for more community interaction, you can also register over at our [http://forum.hrwiki.org &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;forum&lt;/span&gt;].<br /> * Above all, be sure to '''be bold''' and have fun!<br /> <br /> Feel free to yell &quot;[[DELETED|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;DELETED!!!&lt;/span&gt;]]&quot; and remove this message when you're done reading it. After all, your user page belongs to you. I hope this information is helpful, and that you'll have a good experience contributing to our knowledge-base and our community.<br /> <br /> Sincerely,&lt;br /&gt;<br /> {{User:GWR_2004/sig}}, and &quot;The Homestar Runner Wiki Welcoming Committee&quot; {{{1}}}<br /> &lt;/div&gt;<br /> &lt;!-- End of the welcome message - End deleting at the end of this line if you want to delete this message. --&gt;</div> Thu, 16 Feb 2006 05:36:51 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004/welcome http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004/welcome <p>GWR 2004:&#32;</p> <hr /> <div>== Welcome! ==<br /> &lt;!-- Start of the welcome message - Start deleting from the line just above. --&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #000066; color: #FFFFFF; border: 2px solid #0000FF; padding: 2px;&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #FF0000; padding: 2px; font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;Welcome to the Homestar Runner Wiki!&lt;/div&gt;<br /> Welcome to the '''Homestar Runner Wiki!''' We're glad to have you as a member. If you need any help, feel free to ask anyone on the [[HRWiki:Welcoming committee#Members|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;welcoming committee&lt;/span&gt;]]. You can also post questions on the [[HRWiki talk:FAQ|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;FAQ talk page&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> <br /> Here are some tips to get you started:<br /> * If you need general information, editing tips, or answers to frequently asked questions, check out the [[Help:Contents|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;help&lt;/span&gt;]] page.<br /> * Before you do any significant editing, be sure to familiarize yourself with our [[HRWiki:Standards|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;wiki standards&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> * Read up on the rules and guidelines for your [[HRWiki:User space|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;user page&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> * If you're not sure what you can do to help out, head over to [[HRWiki:The Stick|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;The Stick&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> * If you're looking for more community interaction, you can also register over at our [http://forum.hrwiki.org &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;forum&lt;/span&gt;].<br /> * Above all, be sure to '''be bold''' and have fun!<br /> <br /> Feel free to yell &quot;[[DELETED|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;DELETED!!!&lt;/span&gt;]]&quot; and remove this message when you're done reading it. After all, your user page belongs to you. I hope this information is helpful, and that you'll have a good experience contributing to our knowledge-base and our community.<br /> <br /> Sincerely,&lt;br /&gt;<br /> {{User:GWR_2004/sig}}, and &quot;The Homestar Runner Wiki Welcoming Committee&quot; {{{1}}}<br /> &lt;/div&gt;<br /> &lt;!-- End of the welcome message - End deleting at the end of this line if you want to delete this message. --&gt;</div> Thu, 16 Feb 2006 05:32:42 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004/welcome http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004/welcome <p>GWR 2004:&#32;</p> <hr /> <div>== Welcome! ==<br /> &lt;!-- Start of the welcome message - Start deleting from the line just above. --&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #000066; color: #FFFFFF; border: 2px solid #0000FF; padding: 2px;&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #FF0000; padding: 2px; font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;Welcome to the Homestar Runner Wiki!&lt;/div&gt;<br /> Welcome to the '''Homestar Runner Wiki!''' We're glad to have you as a member. If you need any help, feel free to ask anyone on the [[HRWiki:Welcoming committee#Members|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;welcoming committee&lt;/span&gt;]]. You can also post questions on the [[HRWiki talk:FAQ|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;FAQ talk page&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> <br /> Here are some tips to get you started:<br /> * If you need general information, editing tips, or answers to frequently asked questions, check out the [[Help:Contents|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;help&lt;/span&gt;]] page.<br /> * Before you do any significant editing, be sure to familiarize yourself with our [[HRWiki:Standards|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;wiki standards&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> * Read up on the rules and guidelines for your [[HRWiki:User space|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;user page&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> * If you're not sure what you can do to help out, head over to [[HRWiki:The Stick|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;The Stick&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> * If you're looking for more community interaction, you can also register over at our [http://forum.hrwiki.org &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;forum&lt;/span&gt;].<br /> * Above all, be sure to '''be bold''' and have fun!<br /> <br /> Feel free to yell &quot;[[DELETED|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;DELETED!!!&lt;/span&gt;]]&quot; and remove this message when you're done reading it. After all, your user page belongs to you. I hope this information is helpful, and that you'll have a good experience contributing to our knowledge-base and our community.<br /> <br /> Sincerely,&lt;br /&gt;<br /> {{User:GWR2004/sig}}, and &quot;The Homestar Runner Wiki Welcoming Committee&quot; {{{1}}}<br /> &lt;/div&gt;<br /> &lt;!-- End of the welcome message - End deleting at the end of this line if you want to delete this message. --&gt;</div> Thu, 16 Feb 2006 05:32:25 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004/welcome http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004 <p>GWR 2004:&#32;</p> <hr /> <div>__FORCETOC__<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;font-family: 'lucida console', 'bitstream vera sans mono'; background-color: #000066; color: #FFFFFF; border: 2px solid #0000FF; padding: 2px;&quot; class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #FF0000; padding: 2px; font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;GWR 2004&lt;/div&gt;<br /> <br /> {{userboxtop}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#006400|mainbkgd=#ADFF2F|codebkgd=#2E8B57|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:HomsarPotion-ma-jig.png|30px]]|msg=This user enjoys doing '''[[HRWiki:WikiGnome|Gnome work]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF6103|codebkgd=#000000 |codecolor=#FF6103|code=RC|msg=This user patrols '''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent Changes]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#00008B|mainbkgd=#F5F5F5|codebkgd=#0000CD |codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=WP|msg=This user is also on '''[[Wikipedia:User:Gwr2004|Wikipedia]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#DAA520|mainbkgd=#FAFAD2|codebkgd=#F0E68C|codecolor=#000000|code=UN|msg=This user is also on '''&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004 Uncyclopedia]&lt;/span&gt;'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#FFFF00|mainbkgd=#FFFF00|codebkgd=#FF0000|codecolor=#9900FF|code=YIM|msg=This user has an '''&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;Instant message address&lt;/span&gt;'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FFFFFF|codebkgd=#000000|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=EM|msg=This user has an '''Email address'''.}}<br /> {{userbox-nc|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FFF|msg=&lt;table width=&quot;100%&quot;&gt;&lt;tr style=&quot;background:#E0F5E1&quot;&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Courier New, monospace&quot;&gt;'''&gt; [[Special:Emailuser/{{PAGENAME}}|Click here]] to'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr style=&quot;background:#E0F5E1&quot;&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Courier New, monospace&quot;&gt;'''email this user'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:qod 2 - strong bad.PNG|35px]]|msg=This user's favorite character is '''[[Strong Bad]]'''.}}<br /> |}<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;About the Formatting&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> No matter how much you try to make your computer screen a piece of paper, all that white will strain your eyes. It's light! It's going to do that! Light text on a dark background will cut down the light and conserve your eyes. Hence, this heavy formatting.<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;About the User&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> === &lt;div style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Time Spent at Home&lt;/div&gt; ===<br /> &lt;table cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; width=&quot;100%&quot;&gt;&lt;tr&gt;<br /> &lt;td style=&quot;background-color: #FF0000;&quot; width=&quot;80%&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #FFFFFF;&quot;&gt;Bedroom&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;background-color: #00FF00; color: #000000;&quot; width=&quot;20%&quot;&gt;Elsewhere&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Basic Information&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> {| style=&quot;background-color: #000099; border: 2px solid #00FFFF; color: #FFFFFF;&quot;<br /> |-<br /> ! Field !! Data<br /> |-<br /> | Age || 14<br /> |-<br /> | Gender || Male<br /> |-<br /> | E-Mail || See the pretty toolbox or the even ''prettier'' userbox!<br /> |-<br /> | State || [[Wikipedia:Missouri|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Missouri&lt;/span&gt;]]<br /> |}<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;The HRWiki and me&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> I've been a member of this fine wiki since October 4, 2004. I mainly fix grammatical and spelling errors and vote in the [useful] [[HRWiki:STUFF|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;STUFF&lt;/span&gt;]]. Occasionally I participate in discussions. [[HRWiki:Da Basement|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;I really don't think trolls will be enough of a problem for me to twart any.&lt;/span&gt;]] Well, here at least, but I am a [[Wikipedia:User:Gwr2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Wikipedian&lt;/span&gt;]]. Now I'm just ramblin', so [[huttah!|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;MOVING ON&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Miscellaneous Crap&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> <br /> ==== &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Interests&lt;/span&gt; ====<br /> *NOT TV... except for news. I'm an infomaniac.<br /> *HRWiki. Duh.<br /> *Wikipedia<br /> *Algebra<br /> *Heavy-duty walking<br /> *Cats... just not 15 or more in the same room.<br /> *Computers... I'm a geek.<br /> *Testing gullibility<br /> <br /> == [http://www.homestarrunner.com/ &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;Homestar Runner&lt;/span&gt;] &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;and '''Him'''&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> '''Come back tomorrow'''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Wiki Contributions&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> ''02:25, 14 October 2005 (UTC)''<br /> <br /> ''Reverted '''1''' troll edit.''<br /> <br /> ''Added '''1''' troll to the [[HRWiki:WikiTroll|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;troll list&lt;/span&gt;]].''<br /> <br /> ''Welcomed '''1''' user successfully ('''1''' unsuccessful welcome&amp;mdash;[[User:Nintendork|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Nintendork&lt;/span&gt;]] - odd sitcheeation)''<br /> <br /> ''Joined '''2''' committees:&lt;br /&gt;[[HRWiki:Welcoming committee|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Welcoming Committee&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;br /&gt;[[HRWiki:Recent changes patrol|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Recent Changes Patrol&lt;/span&gt;]]''<br /> <br /> ''Beat the crap out of spelling and grammatical errors and made some text &lt;sup&gt;superscript&lt;/sup&gt;''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Support Spelling, Capitalization, Punctuation, and Grammar!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> I hereby promise that any grammatical or spelling error that is spotted by me will be immediately fixed.<br /> <br /> Examples of misspelling/grammatical errors (somehow, my '''''language arts''''' teacher made these stnanks):<br /> *Common ''curtsey''... (Curtsey? Don't you mean ''courtesy''?)<br /> *make-up work | make up work | makeup work (Um... the first one is the best choice, but at least be consistent!)<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Support Firefox!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> [http://www.getfirefox.com &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;Get Firefox!&lt;/span&gt;]<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Sig!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #FFFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #00FF00; padding: 2px;&quot;&gt;{{User:gwr2004/sig}}&lt;/div&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == {{subst:User:GWR2004/headtemplate|Miscellaneous Crap}} ==<br /> Goodbye, and [http://gwr.gotdns.com &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;This&lt;/span&gt;] is a (my) Website!!! --&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Notes&lt;/span&gt; == --&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Modules&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #FFCCCC; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #00FF00; padding: 2px; overflow: scroll; height: 250px;&quot;&gt;<br /> === What the crap is a module box? ===<br /> You're looking at one right now. These are for sections that can get kinda outta hand. They have their own scroll box so that it's harder to misinterpret the amount of ''actual'' content just by using the mail window's scrollbar. These are useful for user interaction, like the ever-so-popular guestbook (see below). Made by explicitly stating the size in CSS and using a cool property: &lt;code&gt;&amp;lt;div style=&quot;&lt;/code&gt; your other CSS code &lt;code&gt;overflow: scroll; height: &lt;/code&gt;x&lt;code&gt;;&quot;&amp;gt;content&amp;lt;/div&amp;gt;&lt;/code&gt;<br /> &lt;/div&gt; --&gt;<br /> &lt;/div&gt;</div> Thu, 16 Feb 2006 03:11:34 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Talk:Main_Page <p>GWR 2004:&#32;/* robots.txt */</p> <hr /> <div>&lt;div class=&quot;plainlinks&quot; style=&quot;font-family: georgia; border: 1px dashed #06f; background: #eef; padding: 0.5em; margin: 0.5em 0.5em 1em; text-align: center;&quot;&gt;Main page doesn't look right?&lt;br /&gt;<br /> &lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 18px;&quot;&gt;&amp;mdash; [http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=Main_Page&amp;action=purge Purge the cache] &amp;mdash;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;<br /> {{Main Page Talk}}<br /> <br /> == Trogday!! ==<br /> <br /> New toon up! Hoorah!<br /> <br /> If I don't say this, someone else will. Sign your posts, man. Believe me, no one wants to build up a reputation as 71.115.222.77. Also, yes, we all feel that way too. --[[User:VolatileChemical|VolatileChemical]] 01:04, 18 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Going away? ==<br /> <br /> So many of the cool people are leaving! first, Homestramy20, then Bubsty, who's next? Thunderbird L17? Hiemstern Laufer? The Paper? Me??? I wonder if the wiki just has everything. Mabye it's complete.--{{User:Benol/sig}} 15:29, 16 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> No such thing, Benol. No such thing. -[[User:Walking Armless|Walking Armless]]<br /> :are you sure???--{{User:Benol/sig}} 16:14, 16 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ::Oh, btw, I'm leaving and never coming back. Nice knowing you. {{User:Thunderbird L17/Siggie}} 17:51, 16 January 2006 (UTC) &lt;!-- THAT WAS A JOKE. I'M NOT LEAVING. DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP! (Not yet anyways) =) --&gt;<br /> :::Wow, Thunderbird, you had me worried for a bit! And in case anyone's wondering, I have no plans of leaving the wiki. Oh, and my name is spelt &quot;Heimstern Läufer&quot;, not &quot;Hiemstern Laufer&quot;. The &quot;i before e except after c&quot; rule does not apply in German. {{User:Heimstern Läufer/sig}} 17:58, 16 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::Don't criticise me because I'm too lazy to type the &quot;ä&quot;!--{{User:Benol/sig}} 18:00, 16 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::::Too lazy, eh? Somehow I'm not quite conviced I ought not to criticize. If you don't want to write the umlaut, one can at least add &quot;e&quot; after the vowel. &quot;Laeufer&quot; is more correct than &quot;Laufer&quot;. {{User:Heimstern Läufer/sig}} 18:04, 16 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::::Or you could drop the &quot;Läufer&quot; altogether, and just call 'im Heimstern. Or, do as I do, and use copy-paste. --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]]<br /> ::::::: '''EDIT CONFLICT:''' Okay, okay. I would probably correct your Spanish mistakes, so it's settled. I know nothing about German, and you probably don't know Spanish.--{{User:Benol/sig}} 18:08, 16 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> I have a prediction: The next one to go will be [[User:E.L. Cool|E.L. Cool]].--{{User:Benol/sig}} 18:11, 16 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> : You're wrong. Depending on my access to the internet, it may be ''me''.&lt;!-- And I'm not kidding. --&gt; Although I'm coming back in February, more likely than not, and if I get internet access over the next week, I may come back tomorrow. --{{User:Jay/sig}} 18:13, 16 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::&lt;To Benol&gt; Surely not! Why would we even want to predict such a dreadful thing?! &lt;To Jay&gt; That's rough. I've had internet troubles recently too. {{User:Heimstern Läufer/sig}} 18:15, 16 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::: It's not internet troubles. It's me going out of town, and then moving. --{{User:Jay/sig}} 18:16, 16 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::: I'm just saying that he will be the 1st to lose intrest in H*R--{{User:Benol/sig}} 18:17, 16 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::::Come to think of it, I haven't seen The Paper around for a while... {{User:Has Matt?/sig}} 18:27, 16 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::::I saw The Paper just today. Tagged a couple of images. --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]]<br /> :::::::E.L. Cool lose interest? Isn't he the one agitating to translate the entire H*R opus into Hebrew? Anyway, for the record, although I ''do'' anticipate being involved less than I am now at various points over the next semester (just as I did during finals of the past one), I don't really anticipate dropping out entirely anywhere in the foreseeable future. And the wiki will never be complete as long as TBC keep crankin' em out! &amp;mdash;[[User:AbdiViklas|AbdiViklas]] 19:39, 16 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::::::The sad thing of it is, I think they might be starting to get tired of it too. My bet it that the Strong Bad Emails stop at 150, to be replaced by something new. It's not my place to say, I know I'm being pessimistic, but I'm afraid the end may be in sight. -[[User:Walking Armless|Walking Armless]]<br /> Listen, Benol kid, I'm not leaving anytime soon, more then that I find in somewhat insolting to have been tagged by ''someone'' as &quot;The first to leave&quot;. The fact that I edit in defferent hours then most of you and that I need to be less on the computer and more on my homework doesn't mean I'm leaving! {{User:E.L. Cool/sig}} 16:17, 17 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :Ok guys, this is starting to get a little old. Bad things happen in life: yes good users have to leave for one reason or another, the economy goes up and then down, your once spiffy video graphics card becomes obsolete. But that's life. Remember that good things happen too! New users come, new friends are made, the economy goes back up, and those spiffier new graphics cards become affordable! Like I said that's life. People always need rest. (And by that I refer not just to our old friends leaving, but TBC taking a break as well!). So people, please, stop speculating, and more importantly, stop being '''''negative'''''. This is a fun place to be as we are thoroughly documenting a fun site to see! We all get tired at times but I think there is no place for negativity and speculation on this wiki. That said, keep on tranglin'! Or something like that. --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 16:44, 17 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::Well put, Stux, well put. Yes, we know that everybody misses Bubsty and everybody wants him to come back. I know that I do. Hopefully, someday he will come back. But, as Stux said, that's life, and you're just going to have to move on. One of the most important things we learn in life to to take the good with the bad, and not to live in the past, but to hope and work for a better future. Good things will come eventually, as well as bad things. Sometimes we don't want to think about it, but at some point we all have to admit to ourselves: that's life. {{User:Has Matt?/sig}} 16:51, 17 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> <br /> :::Well, i'll tell you why i'm leaving; yeah, it does have to do with the fact that life is getting complicated, and every once in a while people need to pay attention to school, family matters... and what not. As Stux said, new users will come, and old users may go... and the sudden drop of users, if you have noticed, ae the younger, more productive ones that have to deal with school?<br /> <br /> :::Well, those are my predicaments. Later. {{User:Homestramy20/sig}} 05:39, 19 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::Thats pretty much exactly the same reason I left. Slowly, this place was getting VERY overwelming. At recess I raced to the library, in hope of getting a computer, just so I could wiki. (Yup, I'm making &quot;wiki&quot; a verb). School is getting harder, piano lessons are getting harder, etc. I ''had'' to leave eventually. {{User:Bubsty/sig}} 05:51, 19 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::::Whoa&amp;mdash;as both a school and a music teacher, I'm quite impressed that you're prioritizing that way. Although it's the wiki's loss, I gotta say way to go. May you be rewarded with Mad Keyboard Skillz. &amp;mdash;[[User:AbdiViklas|AbdiViklas]] 06:42, 19 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ::::::As the two of you both saw this discussion (and briefly joined in it), I'm not so sure y'all are really ''leaving'' per say, but rather going into what I like to call &quot;lurker mode.&quot; Lurker mode is by no means a point of no return, so I know y'all'll &lt;!-- I type '''''exactly''''' the way I talk. So sue me. --&gt; be back eventually. Each of you, take as long a break as you need. (On Wikipedia they refer to this as &quot;preventing burnout.&quot;) {{User:ACupOfCoffee/sig}} 00:59, 20 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :::::::Speaking of which, I may as well say right now that I'm also going to be going into &quot;Lurker mode&quot; until the second week of February. I've got a big test coming up. (A &quot;Provincial exam&quot;, similar to the SAT's of America, just more focused into a certain class, in this case English) This test can only be taken twice a year, with the next oppourtunity being early Febuary. But before I'm allowed to take it, I need to complete a certain ammount of work beforehand, namely reading an entire book, writing a buncha reports about it, and completing ''four'' smaller tests before hand. I was gonna go for the June chance, but now I've decided to just blitz it and get it done. So to make a long story short, I'm gonna be really busy for a few weeks. {{User:Thunderbird L17/Siggie}} 01:59, 20 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::::::Holy cow&amp;mdash;that doesn't sound... '''pleasant.''' Good luck. And, uh... go back to Stuckeys. &amp;mdash;[[User:AbdiViklas|AbdiViklas]] 16:51, 20 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::::::::Hey everybody. I'm done wiki...ing. See ya round. {{User:Dantheburgerking/sig}} 03:36, 3 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> Well, being stuck without Firefox for about a month was a horrible expierience. It has now been resolved, so I return. I'm sure you all missed me very much. =3 So, what did I miss since December 10th? - [[User:68.106.140.79|68.106.140.79]]<br /> :Whoops. I forgot to log in, so all your hopes of it simply being 68.106.140.79 returning instead of Kooky, sorry. *does a jig* - {{User:Kookykman/sig}}<br /> ::Hey! I haven't seen ya in like forever, welcome back! --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 03:05, 15 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Spaced Invaders ==<br /> <br /> [http://www.the-coolest-stuff-ever.com/tcse/spaced/ this should be added to the games section.] - [[User:Strongstarbadder|Strongstar Badder]]<br /> :the-coolest-stuff-ever.com is a fansite, not an official part of H*R. &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 15:43, 21 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> It is. Other wise, there wouldn't be [http://www.the-coolest-stuff-ever.com/tcse/wav/sb_welcome.wav this] voice clip. - [[User:Strongstarbadder|Strongstar Badder]]<br /> :Hmm... It appears more investigation is warranted... I know that the domain registration lapsed and then was renewed, and I suppose it could have been by TBC. On the other hand, the WHOIS record doesn't explicitly list Harmless Junk as the owner of that domain. Maybe TBC liked the site and gave them a sound clip. &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 16:04, 21 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::The is precedent... like that other fansite that was celebrating its birthday or something, and they got an SB wav too! Let me see now where is that page... --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 16:21, 21 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::[[The_Brothers_Chaps%27_Fansite_Acknowledgments#Burning_Horizon_Forum|Here]] it is! If it's not part of Harmless junk, then the clip will have to go in this page. --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 16:23, 21 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> Well, trully, I'm the only one who knows the truth. A long time ago The-Coolest-Site-Ever was the biggest [http://web.archive.org/web/20030419102219/http://www.the-coolest-stuff-ever.com/tcse/sbe/ Strong Bad Email fansite], just under HSR.net fame and was handeled by just only one guy. The site had what we now call Fun Facts&amp;trade;, polls and other Strong Bad related content. Until it stoped updating. I don't know why it did, but several months later some other guy bought (or was given the domain to) the site and shaped it like the one from [[credit card]], hance the &quot;''Under New Management!!''&quot; in the headline. For the wav file, as you can see on the link I provided, TBC liked the site so much they actually sent it the the owner. This should be noted on [[The Brothers Chaps' Fansite Acknowledgments]]. {{User:E.L. Cool/sig}} 16:48, 21 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> : You're not the ''only'' one who knew that. I just... didn't see the conversation until just now. But I used to frequent that site, long prior to my Wikiing (is that a word?) days. --{{User:Jay/sig}} 04:11, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Featured Article Selection ==<br /> <br /> I've noticed that the [[HRWiki:Featured Article Selection|featured article selection]] is virtually unfindable, as it is [[Special:Whatlinkshere/HRWiki:Featured Article Selection|unlinked to]] from the root of any related pages. Perhaps a link next to '''[[HRWiki:Featured article nominations|Nominate an article]]''' &amp;middot; '''[[HRWiki:Featured articles|More featured articles...]]''' would be appropriate? Or even something as simple as a link in the intro text of [[HRWiki:Featured articles]]? &amp;mdash; {{User:Lapper/sig}} 23:22, 21 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :The reasoning behind that at the time of creation is that it would most likely be a target for vandalism if linked to from the main page (or it's talk page...), with all the links convienently laid out. We also wanted to keep edit wars down, with all the red links glowing there, I'm sure some users would have their own strong opinions abut what articles should be featured. Also because the actual selection is ultimately the job of sysops or other responsible users, nominations would probably suffice for those who want to voice their opinion. However, that was some time ago, and granted, none of these assumptions have ever actually been tested. I've gotta leave the last word up to the Admins, but I still think somewhat unlinked is the best way to go, and especially unlinked from the main page. {{User:Thunderbird L17/Siggie}} 00:50, 22 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> <br /> == just a thought, although just a thought is an understatement ==<br /> i have been patrolling the recent changes, and i think we should do some changes. for example, i have noticed a lot of edits by great users that of course, have no reason to not be marked as patrolled. i am thinking that all sysops and admins should have their edits not appear on the page. i realize this might be interfering with the software, but just a thought. {{User:Seriously/sig}} 23:39, 24 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :I don't think that's a good idea 1. Admins &amp; sysops make mistakes and bad edits sometimes too. 2. I like to see when other sysops are discussing or editing something. {{User:Homestar Coder/sig}} 23:42, 24 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :: i suppose....well, i think it was a good idea for the most part. {{User:Seriously/sig}} 23:53, 24 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::oh, wait. i wasn't. wow, i suck. {{User:Seriously/sig}} 23:53, 24 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::It's a good idea in some cases, such as the bots [[User:GrapeNuts|GrapeNuts]] and [[User:Valerie|Valerie]]. Neither of their edits are shown on recent changes for that exact reason, it just cloggs recent changes up. But for admins and sysops, H*C's comments are spot on. {{User:Thunderbird L17/Siggie}} 00:49, 25 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == holy edit conflicts batman! ==<br /> <br /> Has anyone else noticed that edit conflicts now happen when anyone edits any section of a page that you are editing. This is getting to be a real nussance. I was adding a real-world refernce and I got a edit conflict because people were editing the transcript and inside references, besides having to copy the text, it took me 3 more times to finally get my fact up. {{User:Invisible_Robot_Fish/sig}} 14:08, 25 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :Yeah this is probably a result of fixing [[User_talk:It%27s_dot_com/The_System_Is_Down#Diff_Problems|this bug]]. Though it doesn't say it was resolved. Maybe it's a feature you're able to turn off and it was turned off here? --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 14:51, 25 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::Oh and I might as well mention [[Category_talk:Character_Evolution#Some_bug.|this bug]] I found a few days ago. --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 14:58, 25 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == update!!! ==<br /> um, there's a new update and i don't know how to add it. can someone help me???? {{User:Seriously/sig}} 20:19, 26 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> Okya, someone knows now. That's good. {{User:Seriously/sig}} 20:33, 26 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Contribs link on Recent changes ==<br /> <br /> I liked the experimental configuration that added a contributions link abreast to each talk link in [[Special:Recentchanges]], making edits look like this...<br /> <br /> :*([[Main Page|diff]]) ([[Main Page|hist]]) . . '''Nm&lt;span style=&quot;color:red;&quot;&gt;!&lt;/span&gt;''' [[Main Page]]; 00:00 . . [[User:User|User]] ([[User talk:User|Talk]] | [[Special:Contibutions/User|contribs]]) ''([[Main Page|&amp;rarr;]]Created Main Page)''<br /> <br /> ...instead of like this...<br /> <br /> :*([[Main Page|diff]]) ([[Main Page|hist]]) . . '''Nm&lt;span style=&quot;color:red;&quot;&gt;!&lt;/span&gt;''' [[Main Page]]; 00:00 . . [[User:User|User]] ([[User talk:User|Talk]]) ''([[Main Page|&amp;rarr;]]Created Main Page)''<br /> <br /> Is there a particular reason why this format was turned down? &amp;mdash; {{User:Lapper/sig}} 03:57, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :It's not that it was turned down... it's that it hasn't been, er, turned ''up'' yet. I created that format earlier today just to see if I could do it. Well, I could. :) But I didn't want to force it on everybody without talking about it first. &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 04:00, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ::Would there be a formal vote, or just a message a few days before you are to initiate it? &amp;mdash; {{User:Lapper/sig}} 04:02, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :::No formal vote. If you guys think it's a good idea, then we'll try it out. If we try it and everybody ends up hating it, then we can easily go back. &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 04:04, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ::::Well, I like it. Contribs are hard to find otherwise. --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]]<br /> <br /> ::::Sounds good to me. Personally, it was neat, but it did take up a bit too much space. It seems petty, but it simply added on to the length of edits. &amp;mdash; {{User:Lapper/sig}} 04:06, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::Go forward. --{{User:Jay/sig}} 04:07, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> Okay, we'll give this a shot. I'm wondering what the sysops' reactions will be (we already have an extra link making the line longer). &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 04:10, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ::I was about to ask that. It would end up being like this...<br /> <br /> :::*([[Main Page|diff]]) ([[Main Page|hist]]) . . '''Nm&lt;span style=&quot;color:red;&quot;&gt;!&lt;/span&gt;''' [[Main Page]]; 00:00 . . [[User:User|User]] ([[User talk:User|Talk]] | [[Special:Contibutions/User|contribs]] | [[Special:Blockip/User|block]]) ''([[Main Page|&amp;rarr;]]Created Main Page)''<br /> <br /> ::Seems very long for a simple edit. &amp;mdash; {{User:Lapper/sig}} 04:11, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::: Eh, doesn't look that bad to me. (Then again, I have a wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiidescreen computer. Really.) --{{User:Jay/sig}} 04:14, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> On another note, where did the ''user'' link go for IP addresses?<br /> <br /> :*([[Main Page|diff]]) ([[Main Page|hist]]) . . '''Nm&lt;span style=&quot;color:red;&quot;&gt;!&lt;/span&gt;''' [[Main Page]]; 00:00 . . [[Special:Contributions/0.0.0.0|0.0.0.0]] ([[User talk:User|Talk]] | [[User:0.0.0.0|user]]) ''([[Main Page|&amp;rarr;]]Created Main Page)''<br /> <br /> Was it just deemed unnescessary? &amp;mdash; {{User:Lapper/sig}} 04:19, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> : I'd imagine; the &quot;User&quot; link for IPs was actually just a contributions link anyway. --{{User:Jay/sig}} 04:24, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ::No, it was a real link to anonymous user pages. At first I thought if I was adding contribs to users, why not add a user link to anonnie, but then I realized that there would never be a good reason for that to be there (except ''maybe'' to spot anonny user pages that shouldn't be there, but that didn't seem like enough). And since I didn't want curious people to click on the links and ''create'' the pages accidentally, I took the link back out. &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 04:27, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::Uh? I don't remember there ever being any &quot;User&quot; link for IPs... --{{User:Jay/sig}} 04:30, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> If it seems too clunky, perhaps an (optional) condensed format might work? <br /> :*([[Main Page|diff]]) ([[Main Page|hist]]) . . '''Nm&lt;span style=&quot;color:red;&quot;&gt;!&lt;/span&gt;''' [[Main Page]]; 00:00 . . [[User:User|User]] ([[User talk:User|(t)]] | [[Special:Contibutions/User|(c)]] | [[Special:Blockip/User|(b)]]) ''([[Main Page|&amp;rarr;]]Created Main Page)''<br /> --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 04:26, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :Looks like you're on the right track, but those parentheses just give me the jibblies. Not the right idea. &amp;mdash; {{User:Lapper/sig}} 04:28, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ::Well, it's hard-coded, so it can't be optional. And I'd rather it be the whole words. Let's give it a day or two and see if people get used to it before we try to gauge reaction. &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 04:32, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::I think it looks really spiffy. And I don't just say that about any major change. --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]]<br /> ::::I'm fine with the change as well. And I also think if we do the abbreviations, it shoud go talk, block, contributions for sysops. (TBC, get it? I'm such a riot.) {{User:Some HSR themed username/sig}} 04:48, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::::Actually I was thinking optional as in, maybe the user can check off a preference in their preference things... ^_^ (I know it can potentially be quite a bit of work.) --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 04:50, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::::Yeah, I like writing software and all, but I'm not gonna go to ''that'' much trouble. ;) &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 04:54, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::::::If this was say, the summer, I'd be like all over it! Maybe. hmmmm... perhaps. :) I mean, it's not like I don't already have some idea of how my code would look like. It's just the whole issue of properly adding the new user pref to the user's mySQL table entry, that's all! ;) --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 05:00, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> I've got wide resolution too, and I like it. Often I'm trying to find that link, and I have to beat around the bush a bit to get it. Especially annony edits, if they make a troll, it's nice to just check their history quick to gauge how long they should be blocked for, that kinda thing. All in all, I'm voting to keep it. {{User:Thunderbird L17/Siggie}} 09:15, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> I tweaked it a little, shortening &quot;contribs&quot; to &quot;cb&quot;. What do you think? Do you like it? Is it stupid? Is there something better? &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 17:48, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :I like it, and I like lower-case bettter'n upper case. what about changing &quot;Talk&quot; to lower-case, to match? {{User:Trey56/sig}} 17:54, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::For some reason, &quot;Talk&quot; has always been capitalized and both &quot;block&quot; (on the recent changes) and &quot;contribs&quot; (whenever you click a &quot;diff&quot; button) have been lowercase. I don't know why this is the case, and I've often wondered about it. Not that I think it should be changed, necessarily, just that I've pondered it. &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 18:11, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::My guess is &quot;Talk&quot; is capitalized after the namespace. As for &quot;cb&quot;, it's strange, but I think I could get used to it. (It's also shown as cb in the watchlist... did it used to not be this way before either?) --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 18:24, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::Personally, I think &quot;contribs&quot; is too long and &quot;cb&quot; is too vague. I don't have a solution though. - {{User:Joshua/sig}} 18:29, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::Maybe you could put something like &quot;c-ribs&quot; or something like that. {{User:Dantheburgerking/sig}} 18:33, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::&quot;Ctrbs&quot; or something would work too... --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]]<br /> <br /> :::::I'll try &quot;ctrb&quot;. &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 18:42, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::::I like it. Good job It's dot com! {{User:Dantheburgerking/sig}} 18:44, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::Stux, the watchlist is just a specialized (i.e., filtered) version of the recent changes. &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 18:46, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::Ohhhh! That makes sense. I thought the used different algotridms. And yeah &quot;ctrb&quot; rox my sox! --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 19:00, 27 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ==Featured Picture==<br /> <br /> Does anyone else think there should be a featured picture, like on Wikipedia? [[User:Yeltensic|Yeltensic]] [[User:Yeltensic/This page meets the subpage criteria|sign here]] 02:06, 28 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :There are two featured pictures on the main page at any given time. The one for &quot;Featured article&quot;, and the one for &quot;What's New&quot;. Adding a third picture would be considerable overkill. {{User:Thunderbird L17/Siggie}} 02:46, 28 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ::I have wondered the same thing privately, and I came to the same conclusion. &amp;mdash;[[User:BazookaJoe|BazookaJoe]] 02:49, 28 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Double extensions ==<br /> <br /> I'm trying to help fix all the files with double extensions in their name. (i.e.: something.PNG.PNG) How would I go about doing this? Re-uploading them and putting a &lt;nowiki&gt;{{tobedeleted}}&lt;/nowiki&gt; on the old ones? --[[User:Color Printer|Color]] [[User talk:Color Printer|Printer]] 02:52, 28 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :I wonder [[User:GrapeNuts|GrapeNuts]] can do that. IF sysops can move images, that is. &lt;span style=&quot;font-family: tw cen mt; font-variant: small-caps;&quot;&gt;[[User:Ed smildE|Ed smilde]]/[[User talk:Ed smildE|talk]]&lt;/span&gt;<br /> ::I can't. I think re-uploading and deleting is the way to go. &amp;mdash;[[User:BazookaJoe|BazookaJoe]] 03:09, 28 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :I believe I've found all of them. It mostly happens with PNGs. --[[User:Color Printer|Color]] [[User talk:Color Printer|Printer]] 03:13, 28 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::I dunno how it happens in the first place, but I asked in [irc://irc.freenode.net/mediawiki #mediawiki] and the only way is to delete/re-upload them. Guess I never knew that that before, but you guys probably all did... &lt;span style=&quot;font-family: tw cen mt; font-variant: small-caps;&quot;&gt;[[User:Ed smildE|Ed smilde]]/[[User talk:Ed smildE|talk]]&lt;/span&gt;<br /> :Done and done. Now it's just time for deletion. I just hope I didn't miss any. --[[User:Color Printer|Color]] [[User talk:Color Printer|Printer]] 03:32, 28 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::They also guessed that this could be from people on Mac / Windows who have hidden extensions and have uploaded files. Maybe that's it. &lt;span style=&quot;font-family: tw cen mt; font-variant: small-caps;&quot;&gt;[[User:Ed smildE|Ed smilde]]/[[User talk:Ed smildE|talk]]&lt;/span&gt;<br /> <br /> <br /> ==Return of Yelt==<br /> <br /> The first two were blocked, but I'm back, baby! YAHOO! [[User:Yeltensic3.0|Yeltensic3.0]] 16:50, 28 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :Please don't evade your block. It only lowers your credibility. &amp;mdash;[[User:BazookaJoe|BazookaJoe]] 16:52, 28 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> Welcome back, pal! {{User:Darth Katana X/sig}}<br /> <br /> Don't encourage him, Darth. {{User:Seriously/sig}} 02:59, 29 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :Wow. If you are this desperate, you aren't helping anything, Yelt. You're basically a troll for badgering us about the guestbooks. -{{User:Marth 99/sig}} 19:02, 29 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> You guys might have noticed that not once have I used any of accounts for vandalism of any kind. I created a subpage that was perfectly acceptable under the rules, and upon its deletion re-created it, as the admin in question basically had abused his powers to silence those who disagreed with him. In creating several puppets, I have nothing to disrupt the Wiki; the only disruption caused by them is that some admins arbitrarily chose to consider them disruptive. My actions have only served to highlight what douchebags some admins are, that they are willing to greatly inconvenience who-knows-how-many people around the world (by blocking IP ranges and, even worse, disabling account creation), just for the purpose of stopping me from doing nothing. [[User:HRFan|HRFan]] 00:26, 30 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> : Okay, I'll bite. I haven't been following this whole ordeal closely. Before I block this new name, please explain to me what the page was, why you created it, and how the admin in question &quot;abused&quot; his powers. --{{User:Jay/sig}} 00:34, 30 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> : And, while we're on the subject, why this justifies setting up a gazillion sock puppet accounts. --{{User:Jay/sig}} 00:35, 30 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::The sysop was bazooka joe, and he didn't abuse his powers. He didn't silence those who were against him. He's not some sort of evil tyrant. You disobeyed the guy like, five times. That's whay you got blocked. {{User: Seriously/sig}}<br /> ::: Still, may I have the name of the deleted page? I can view old versions, so it doesn't matter if it's deleted for me. --{{User:Jay/sig}} 00:38, 30 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::They're deleted, so I'm not sure if you can. {{User: Seriously/sig}}<br /> :::::It doesn't matter for sysops. They were [[User:Yeltensic/This page meets the subpage criteria]], [[User:Yeltensic/Save the Guestbooks!!!]], and [[HRWiki:Save the Guestbooks List]]. --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]]<br /> :::::: '''EDIT CONFLICT'D''' I'd actually just found the former anyway. Now then: No, Yelt, those do not meet subpage criteria. The only things allowed on User Subpages are signatures, works in progress, tests, user talk archives, and so forth (see [[HRWiki:User_space|this page]]); those pages were none of the above. Additionally, the Guestbook issue was open to ''everyone'' to vote on, not just BazookaJoe and not just sysops. In fact, some sysops (including [[User:Jay|some guy]] who shall remain nameless) did not vote at all. You lost; I've had [[do over#Real-World References|issues]] that ticked me off and I lost the voting concerning them, but after realizing that I wasn't getting the support my position needed, I more-or-less dropped the issue. Drop the issue. BazookaJoe had every right to delete that page, and your insistence on keeping the page was disruptive. BazookaJoe was not showing his own ego and abusing power; rather, you were trying to inflate your own importance by overstepping the authority of the entire Wiki. And no matter what the reason, sock puppets to evade a block are against the rules. --{{User:Jay/sig}} 00:55, 30 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :Chris, committing an action (i.e. creating a known sockpuppet) that you know will cause a specific reaction (i.e. the sockpuppet will be blocked) is an action of premeditated malice. I completely back up [[User:BazookaJoe|BazookaJoe]], [[User:Thunderbird L17|Thunderbird]], [[User:FireBird|FireBird]], [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]], [[User:Kilroy|Kilroy]], [[User:Homestar Coder|Homestar Coder]], and every other person who at one point or another deleted your subpages or blocked your accounts. You ''are'' disrupting our community. We, as the people who make up this community, are the best judges of what is best for the community at large.<br /> :You can also chalk up &quot;personal attacks&quot; to the list of reasons that you have been blocked, as we don't take kindly to being called douchebags. We will continue to stop your immature attempts at disruption, and I would like to personally like to ask you to please stop them. Thank you very much for your time, and I wish you luck with your future endeavors.&amp;nbsp;-- [[User:Tom|Tom]] 00:51, 30 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> I checked the rules again, and nope, that page was OK. Even if creating all of these puppets isn't allowed, this is a clear case of abuse of admin powers, so blame Joe, not me. As for personal attacks, I only called you guys &quot;douchebags&quot; after you did all of this. So that's irrelevant to any list of reasons for blocking me. I'm afraid that calling you guys that might actually sully the name of douchebaggery. [[User:KingofSlovakia|KingofSlovakia]] 01:48, 30 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> :Up to this point, I have refrained from vandalism, for that is unacceptably disruptive, and would impact more people than just my admin foes. However, with your behavior, you have given me no choice (I think one low point may have been when I went to my puppet pages and redirected them to my original page in order to help others who stumbled upon all of this, making it easier for them to understand what was going on and clear up any confusion, and the redirects were removed one by one). I'm afraid that you have driven me the point of committing vandalism. To any other users not involved in this mess who may be affected by it, I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience, and I hope you understand that I have nothing against you people; my actions are directed against these admins who I referred to as &quot;douchebags&quot;. Remember that they have likely done far more to inconvenience you in their attempts to stop me from engaging in behavior that they, laughably enough, consider disruptive and trollish. I'll try to avoid vandalism that will negatively impact all of you people out there. [[User:KingofSlovakia|KingofSlovakia]] 01:48, 30 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::I do not know what standards you are looking at, because your subpage was against the rules. After all of this, you really think that we are mad at BazookaJoe? You sincerely think that you are the good guy and we are the bad guys? Your subpage was not a sig, work in progress, or anything of the sort, so it was against the rules. Your vandalism is avoiding your block, which was rightly given. And how is this a &quot;clear abuse of admin power&quot;? All I am seeing is the admins blocking a kid who is avoiding a block. {{User:Rogue Leader/sig}} 01:55, 30 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> Yeah, I think you're just being extremely arrogant. I can't help but say that. Calling sysops douchebags, being more stubborn than even ''I'' am, and disobeying tha sysops (and even admins) makes for a long list of apologies. In fact, It seems reasonable for you to just give up and admit that you are wrong, and that's that. Why do you think BazookaJoe's a sysop? Because he knows what's best. {{User:Seriously/sig}} 00:56, 31 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> =='05 Holiday Special==<br /> Is there not going to be one or something? I've been waiting for it for too long!<br /> <br /> :If it's not up yet, chances are they might be skipping it this year. I'm just hoping for a new April Fool's Day toon. {{User:Thunderbird L17/Siggie}} 23:59, 29 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> <br /> Ohhhh, but I want a holiday special!<br /> <br /> == Nice Idea, but... ==<br /> I've been thinking about making a page or two discussing the history of the HRWiki itself (when it went up, major format changes, etc.) but I personally don't have the time to do something like that and haven't much knowledge of the site's full history. I think a site this extensive deserves a page about its own upbringing. If anyone else is interested in taking this idea, you're more than welcome to. -[[User:Walking Armless|Walking Armless]]<br /> :Might I direct your attention to [[HRWiki:A History]]? --[[User:DorianGray|DorianGray]]<br /> ::...well crap. -[[User:Walking Armless|Walking Armless]]<br /> <br /> == New Update ==<br /> <br /> New update coming. The website isnt responding. --[[User:24.195.184.44|24.195.184.44]] 01:14, 6 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> :It's responding. No update. &amp;mdash;[[User:BazookaJoe|BazookaJoe]] 01:16, 6 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::It's not to me. But maybe they'll do another update like they did last year. --[[User:24.195.184.44|24.195.184.44]] 01:20, 6 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> Where is the new email?!?!?! AHRGH!!!!! lol<br /> <br /> == Flash Player 8 ==<br /> <br /> Have any of you guys recently been asked to download Macromedia Flash Player 8? The site is down for me and won't go back up until I do. -{{User:Marth 99/sig}} 19:33, 6 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> :I update/upgrade my browser so often (Mozilla Foundation really push out releases unlike MS)that I'm always having to re-download the plugin because it's just not installed. The entire site ''should'' in theory work with Flash Player 5 or later because we know that TBC are still making everything in Flash 5. I wonder if there's something in the HTML code of the web-pages that caused that for you... {{User:ACupOfCoffee/sig}} 19:43, 6 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::I have no clue what this is. I went ot the website (as usual) and it just plain wouldn't load. Other pictures on like the AOL Welcome screen won't load either, so I don't think its just the site. Maybe there's something wrong with my computer? -{{User:Marth 99/sig}} 19:45, 6 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::''Edit conflict'' Nope. If I'm interpreting this line of HTML code: &lt;blockquote&gt;codebase=&quot;http://active.macromedia.com/flash2/cabs/swflash.cab#version=4,0,0,0&quot;&lt;/blockquote&gt; correctly (and there's a fairly good possibility I'm not), then it only requires Flash Player 4 or later. ''{Code copied and pasted from the source of Main Page 3}'' {{User:ACupOfCoffee/sig}} 19:51, 6 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::Do you already have Flash Player 8? If not, you can download it from [http://www.macromedia.com/shockwave/download/download.cgi?P1_Prod_Version=ShockwaveFlash] and if not, you can test it at [http://www.macromedia.com/software/flash/about/]. I hope that helps! {{User:ACupOfCoffee/sig}} 20:00, 6 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::Never mind. I said yes and the site works fine now. Just my personal computer issues. I wonder, though, maybe [[Stinkoman 20X6]] will finally load properly....-{{User:Marth 99/sig}} 20:57, 6 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Little Help Here? ==<br /> Can I have a little help with my talk page? On the little edit buttons next to the sections, mine are one off. (Click on the speaker in my sig to go to my talk page.) Thanks in advance! --{{User:RJMT/sig}} 04:24, 8 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> :I think it might have to do with the &lt;nowiki&gt;&lt;/H1&gt;&lt;/nowiki&gt; tag on the page. That's the standard HTML way to make text big, and it seems that MediaWiki is numbering it like a section for display purposes, but not for edit purposes. I know for sure that it's making the page have only 6 sections and a multitude of subsections. You want to run with that idea yourself, or is the new messages banner not so much of an annoyance for you that I can do it? {{User:ACupOfCoffee/sig}} 04:56, 8 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::This bug was introduced when we upgraded to MediaWiki 1.5. At that time, several areas &lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=Template:stuffrevise&amp;diff=178720&amp;oldid=167507 had to be fixed]. I don't know whether this has been reported at [http://bugzilla.wikimedia.org MediaZilla]&lt;/span&gt;, but I guess it should be. &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 05:05, 8 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::I'll go check on that just as soon as MythBusters is over. {{User:ACupOfCoffee/sig}} 05:18, 8 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::It's still on? LOL! Is that the ep with the planes? I was watching crossing Jordan when it was on. --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 05:23, 8 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> :::::''(reply to Stux)''Two back to back episodes. The one with the washing machine and dog pee. ''(reply to It's dot com)'' It's open as bugs 2607 and 2128, though no work's been done on either one since June except for marking other bugs as duplicates of them. 2128 was resolved then, but was reopened in August. {{User:ACupOfCoffee/sig}} 06:24, 8 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::::::[http://bugzilla.wikimedia.org/show_bug.cgi?id=2607 2607] and [http://bugzilla.wikimedia.org/show_bug.cgi?id=2128 2128] ... checked out and marked as dupes. --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 06:49, 8 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == robots.txt ==<br /> <br /> I think<br /> Disallow: /fanstuff/*<br /> should be added, since fanstuff.hrwiki.org is completely disallowed. Just in case someone gets there through that url. &lt;span style=&quot;font-family: tw cen mt; font-variant: small-caps;&quot;&gt;[[User:Ed smildE|Ed smilde]]/[[User talk:Ed smildE|talk]]&lt;/span&gt;<br /> :I don't think it matters since it [http://www.hrwiki.org/fanstuff seems] to redirect to the main page of this wiki. I'm likely missing something perhaps. --[[User:Stux|Stux]] 23:24, 13 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::[http://hrwiki.org/fanstuff hrwiki.org/fanstuff] does redirect here, true, but any page inside of that (such as [http://hrwiki.org/fanstuf/index.php/Main_Page hrwiki.org/fanstuff/index.php/Main_Page]) will go to the fanstuff wiki. (keyword: just in case) &lt;span style=&quot;font-family: tw cen mt; font-variant: small-caps;&quot;&gt;[[User:Ed smildE|Ed smilde]]/[[User talk:Ed smildE|talk]]&lt;/span&gt;<br /> :::Um... that link is 404'd! {{User:gwr2004/sig}} 04:59, 15 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Valentines Day Toon ==<br /> I bet there is going to be a valitines day toon on the 14! 22:37, 13 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :Probably not. They just gave us two toons today. I'm hoping more for a &quot;Walking with Trogdor&quot; short Wednesday at 9:00. {{User:Thunderbird L17/Siggie}} 04:06, 14 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == 3,000,000! ==<br /> <br /> I'm mentioning this a little too late but...<br /> <br /> [[Image:3000000views.png]]<br /> <br /> Over 3,000,000 Main Page views! That was fast. Less than 4 months to get 1,000,000 views. That's roughly...<br /> <br /> * 250,000 views a month<br /> * 8333 views a day<br /> * 347 views an hour<br /> * 5 views a minute<br /> * 1 view every 12 seconds<br /> <br /> So happy 3,000,000 wiki! -[[User:AtionSong|&lt;font face=&quot;BankGothic Md BT&quot;&gt;AtionSong&lt;/font&gt;]] 22:28, 14 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> : '''P.S.:''' Using my estimates, I'm approximately 8 hours 16 minutes late. -[[User:AtionSong|&lt;font face=&quot;BankGothic Md BT&quot;&gt;AtionSong&lt;/font&gt;]]<br /> <br /> ::Sweet! To celebrate, let's have a clip show! Or better yet, ''LET'S KILL SOMEONE OFF!!!'' {{User:Has Matt?/sig}} 22:54, 14 February 2006 (UTC)<br /> <br /> :::Haha, I mentioned that on IRC yesterday that it was getting close, but I was hoping I'd be here to see it click over, like I was at [[HRWiki:Main_Page_Talk_Archive_6#I_think_today.27s_the_day...|2,000,000]]. Oh well, in any case it's pretty awsome. {{User:Thunderbird L17/Siggie}} 00:21, 15 February 2006 (UTC)</div> Wed, 15 Feb 2006 04:59:27 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Talk:Main_Page http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004 <p>GWR 2004:&#32;</p> <hr /> <div>__FORCETOC__<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;font-family: 'lucida console', 'bitstream vera sans mono'; background-color: #000066; color: #FFFFFF; border: 2px solid #0000FF; padding: 2px;&quot; class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #FF0000; padding: 2px; font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;GWR 2004&lt;/div&gt;<br /> <br /> {{userboxtop}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#006400|mainbkgd=#ADFF2F|codebkgd=#2E8B57|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:HomsarPotion-ma-jig.png|30px]]|msg=This user enjoys doing '''[[HRWiki:WikiGnome|Gnome work]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF6103|codebkgd=#000000 |codecolor=#FF6103|code=RC|msg=This user patrols '''[[Special:Recentchanges|Recent Changes]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#00008B|mainbkgd=#F5F5F5|codebkgd=#0000CD |codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=WP|msg=This user is also on '''[[Wikipedia:User:Gwr2004|Wikipedia]]'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#DAA520|mainbkgd=#FAFAD2|codebkgd=#F0E68C|codecolor=#000000|code=UN|msg=This user is also on '''&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;[http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004 Uncyclopedia]&lt;/span&gt;'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#6666FF|codebkgd=#66CCCC|codecolor=#3333CC|code=IM|msg=This user has an '''Instant message address'''.}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FFFFFF|codebkgd=#000000|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=EM|msg=This user has an '''Email address'''.}}<br /> {{userbox-nc|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FFF|msg=&lt;table width=&quot;100%&quot;&gt;&lt;tr style=&quot;background:#E0F5E1&quot;&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Courier New, monospace&quot;&gt;'''&gt; [[Special:Emailuser/{{PAGENAME}}|Click here]] to'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr style=&quot;background:#E0F5E1&quot;&gt;&lt;td align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-family:Courier New, monospace&quot;&gt;'''email this user'''&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;}}<br /> {{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:qod 2 - strong bad.PNG|35px]]|msg=This user's favorite character is '''[[Strong Bad]]'''.}}<br /> |}<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;About the Formatting&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> No matter how much you try to make your computer screen a piece of paper, all that white will strain your eyes. It's light! It's going to do that! Light text on a dark background will cut down the light and conserve your eyes. Hence, this heavy formatting.<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;About the User&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> === &lt;div style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Time Spent at Home&lt;/div&gt; ===<br /> &lt;table cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; width=&quot;100%&quot;&gt;&lt;tr&gt;<br /> &lt;td style=&quot;background-color: #FF0000;&quot; width=&quot;80%&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #FFFFFF;&quot;&gt;Bedroom&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;background-color: #00FF00; color: #000000;&quot; width=&quot;20%&quot;&gt;Elsewhere&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Basic Information&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> {| style=&quot;background-color: #000099; border: 2px solid #00FFFF; color: #FFFFFF;&quot;<br /> |-<br /> ! Field !! Data<br /> |-<br /> | Age || 14<br /> |-<br /> | Gender || Male<br /> |-<br /> | E-Mail || See the pretty toolbox or the even ''prettier'' userbox!<br /> |-<br /> | State || [[Wikipedia:Missouri|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Missouri&lt;/span&gt;]]<br /> |}<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;The HRWiki and me&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> I've been a member of this fine wiki since October 4, 2004. I mainly fix grammatical and spelling errors and vote in the [useful] [[HRWiki:STUFF|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;STUFF&lt;/span&gt;]]. Occasionally I participate in discussions. [[HRWiki:Da Basement|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;I really don't think trolls will be enough of a problem for me to twart any.&lt;/span&gt;]] Well, here at least, but I am a [[Wikipedia:User:Gwr2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Wikipedian&lt;/span&gt;]]. Now I'm just ramblin', so [[huttah!|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;MOVING ON&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Miscellaneous Crap&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> <br /> ==== &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Interests&lt;/span&gt; ====<br /> *NOT TV... except for news. I'm an infomaniac.<br /> *HRWiki. Duh.<br /> *Wikipedia<br /> *Algebra<br /> *Heavy-duty walking<br /> *Cats... just not 15 or more in the same room.<br /> *Computers... I'm a geek.<br /> *Testing gullibility<br /> <br /> == [http://www.homestarrunner.com/ &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;Homestar Runner&lt;/span&gt;] &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;and '''Him'''&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> '''Come back tomorrow'''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Wiki Contributions&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> ''02:25, 14 October 2005 (UTC)''<br /> <br /> ''Reverted '''1''' troll edit.''<br /> <br /> ''Added '''1''' troll to the [[HRWiki:WikiTroll|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;troll list&lt;/span&gt;]].''<br /> <br /> ''Welcomed '''1''' user successfully ('''1''' unsuccessful welcome&amp;mdash;[[User:Nintendork|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Nintendork&lt;/span&gt;]] - odd sitcheeation)''<br /> <br /> ''Joined '''2''' committees:&lt;br /&gt;[[HRWiki:Welcoming committee|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Welcoming Committee&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;br /&gt;[[HRWiki:Recent changes patrol|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Recent Changes Patrol&lt;/span&gt;]]''<br /> <br /> ''Beat the crap out of spelling and grammatical errors and made some text &lt;sup&gt;superscript&lt;/sup&gt;''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Support Spelling, Capitalization, Punctuation, and Grammar!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> I hereby promise that any grammatical or spelling error that is spotted by me will be immediately fixed.<br /> <br /> Examples of misspelling/grammatical errors (somehow, my '''''language arts''''' teacher made these stnanks):<br /> *Common ''curtsey''... (Curtsey? Don't you mean ''courtesy''?)<br /> *make-up work | make up work | makeup work (Um... the first one is the best choice, but at least be consistent!)<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Support Firefox!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> [http://www.getfirefox.com &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;Get Firefox!&lt;/span&gt;]<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Sig!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #FFFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #00FF00; padding: 2px;&quot;&gt;{{User:gwr2004/sig}}&lt;/div&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == {{subst:User:GWR2004/headtemplate|Miscellaneous Crap}} ==<br /> Goodbye, and [http://gwr.gotdns.com &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;This&lt;/span&gt;] is a (my) Website!!! --&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Notes&lt;/span&gt; == --&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Modules&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #FFCCCC; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #00FF00; padding: 2px; overflow: scroll; height: 250px;&quot;&gt;<br /> === What the crap is a module box? ===<br /> You're looking at one right now. These are for sections that can get kinda outta hand. They have their own scroll box so that it's harder to misinterpret the amount of ''actual'' content just by using the mail window's scrollbar. These are useful for user interaction, like the ever-so-popular guestbook (see below). Made by explicitly stating the size in CSS and using a cool property: &lt;code&gt;&amp;lt;div style=&quot;&lt;/code&gt; your other CSS code &lt;code&gt;overflow: scroll; height: &lt;/code&gt;x&lt;code&gt;;&quot;&amp;gt;content&amp;lt;/div&amp;gt;&lt;/code&gt;<br /> &lt;/div&gt; --&gt;<br /> &lt;/div&gt;</div> Wed, 15 Feb 2006 04:17:06 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/narrator <p>GWR 2004:&#32;/* Inside References */ mispronunciation of mispronunciation</p> <hr /> <div>{{sbenav|144|technology|some kinda robot}}<br /> [[Image:Sbemail144.PNG|thumb|Stick a fork in me?]]<br /> <br /> Strong Bad dramatically narrates other people's lives. <br /> <br /> '''Cast (in order of appearance):''' <br /> {{Film|Strong Bad}}, [[Strong Badman]] (Easter egg), {{Film|Strong Sad}}, An Octopus, {{Film|Bubs}}, {{Film|Coach Z}}, {{Film|Homestar Runner}}, {{Film|Marzipan}}, {{Film|Homsar}}, {{Film|The Poopsmith}}, {{Film|The Cheat}}, {{Film|Strong Mad}}, {{Film|Nebulon}} (Easter egg), Marzipan Alien (Easter egg)<br /> <br /> '''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[Strong Sad's Room]], [[Bubs' Concession Stand]], [[Marzipan's House]], [[The Field]], [[King of Town's Castle]], [[Strong Mad's Room]], Strong Sad's Bathroom, [[Strong Bad's Basement]], [[Strong Bad's Laundry Room]], [[The Moon]] (Easter egg)<br /> <br /> {{Comp|Lappy 486}}<br /> <br /> '''Date:''' February 6, 2006<br /> <br /> '''Running Time:''' 2:59<br /> <br /> '''Page Title:''' Lappy 486<br /> <br /> ==Transcript==<br /> ''{Strong Bad types &quot;strongbad_email.exe&quot; and presses enter.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' I met this email on a north-bound train. We had some dinner, then we danced in the rain.<br /> <br /> &lt;blockquote class=&quot;lappy email&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div&gt;subject: narration&lt;/div&gt;<br /> Have you ever been the narrator for a movie?&lt;br/&gt;<br /> &lt;br/&gt;<br /> Grant Gossman from Minnesota.&lt;br/&gt;<br /> &lt;/blockquote&gt;<br /> <br /> ''{Strong Bad says &quot;Minnesota&quot; slightly slower than the rest.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' No Grossman, I have not. But you know what's way better than narrating movies? Narrating peoples' pathetic everyday lives like they're movie trailers. Ready? Let's try it!<br /> <br /> ''{Cut to Strong Sad's room. Strong Sad is sitting at his table eating a small pie. Strong Bad leans in through the doorway.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{dramatically}'' Meet Strong Sad.<br /> <br /> '''STRONG SAD:''' What? Who are you talking to?<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' All he ever wanted was to eat his grody ethnic food in peace.<br /> <br /> '''STRONG SAD:''' Hey man, this a rogan josh pot pie!<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' Until one day, fate threw him a curveball.<br /> <br /> ''{A small blue octopus flies across the screen, hits Strong Sad in the face with a slap and sticks to him.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG SAD:''' OW!<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' Lump of Dump Pictures proudly presents:<br /> <br /> ''{Cut to logo splash. Words appear as Strong Bad says them.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' &quot;Whined &amp; Dined&quot;. In the game of life, may the best man ''{slight pause}'' whine.<br /> <br /> ''{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand. Coach Z is talking to Bubs. Strong Bad quickly peers out around the corner of the stand.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' In a post-apocalyptic world where weird old men survive on boring conversations...<br /> <br /> '''BUBS:''' I suppose we could talk about my napkin friend for another couple hours. ''{holds up a napkin}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ...a line will be drawn.<br /> <br /> '''COACH Z:''' YOUR napkin?! Well, it's got my snot balls on it!<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' A hero will rise.<br /> <br /> '''BUBS:''' Man, you don't even have a nose!<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' And an empire will fall.<br /> <br /> ''{Bubs slams the metal gate to his concession stand shut, revealing &quot;4actor Z&quot; graffiti}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' Factor Z!<br /> <br /> ''{Cut to Marzipan's House. Marzipan and Homestar are inside; Homestar is wearing an apron and a strange chef's hat}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' They were a couple in love.<br /> <br /> '''MARZIPAN:''' Homestar, you look like a dork with that on.<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' Until a dorky chef's hat threatened to tear them apart.<br /> <br /> ''{Close-up of Homestar's head. Homestar shakes his hat around.}''<br /> <br /> '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, yeah? Well maybe you look like some type of... enormous... alien... cow!<br /> <br /> '''MARZIPAN:''' ''{gasp}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{as music begins to play}'' This summer,&amp;mdash;<br /> <br /> ''{Cut to the field, where Homsar is levitating on his stomach while his hat rises}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' &amp;mdash;this holiday season,&amp;mdash;<br /> <br /> ''{Cut to the side of The King of Town's castle. The Poopsmith is shoveling whatsit in the background. Slow zoom in on him}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' &amp;mdash;this Arbor Day, some smelly French studio invites YOU ''{points at camera}'' to sit through a four hour film with no dialogue and no plot. &quot;Whatsit ''{slight pause}'' All About&quot;<br /> <br /> ''{Title appears on the screen with the subtitle &quot;Whatzeet All Aboot?&quot; Cut to Strong Mad's room. Strong Mad and The Cheat are playing Battleship. Piano music begins}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' Two unlikely partners...<br /> <br /> '''STRONG MAD:''' I ATE MY BATTLESHIP!<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ...one brain between them.<br /> <br /> '''THE CHEAT:''' ''{shrugs and sighs}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' From the creators of &quot;I'm Surprised Strong Mad Hasn't Eaten The Cheat by Now&quot;<br /> <br /> '''STRONG MAD:''' ''{upset}'' Awww!<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' get ready to&amp;mdash;<br /> <br /> ''{The words fly on screen as he says them.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' &amp;mdash;LUG... IT... AROUND.<br /> <br /> ''{Title appears at top of screen.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' &quot;Lugnut ''{gestures toward Strong Mad}'' &amp; Squeak&quot; ''{pats The Cheat on the head}''<br /> <br /> ''{Strong Mad grins.}''<br /> <br /> '''THE CHEAT:''' ''{makes a The Cheat noise}''<br /> <br /> ''{Cut to bathroom. We are just behind Strong Sad as he brushes his teeth. We can see his reflection in the mirror. Strong Bad pops up just over his shoulder.}<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' For hundreds of years it has ''{flickers lights on and off}'' it has haunted mankind.<br /> <br /> ''{Cut to The Basement. Strong Sad is watching TV. Strong Bad is standing off to the side.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' From the master of teenagers-on-a-camping-trip-esque horror. ''{flickers lights again and leaves them off}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG SAD:''' Are you gonna throw a dead goose at me or something?<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' Comes the remake no one was waiting for: ''{another title splash}'' &quot;Things That Go Dump in The Night&quot;.<br /> <br /> ''{Cut to the laundry room. Strong Sad opens the dryer. Cut to a view of Strong Sad from inside it. A dead goose flies out, and Strong Sad screams as it knocks him over. The screen immediately goes black except for the words &quot;Your goose is cooked.&quot;}''<br /> <br /> ''{Cut back to the Lappy.}''<br /> <br /> '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' The critics agree! &quot;A triumph!&quot; &quot;A cinematic breakfast snack of some kind!&quot; &quot;It ''{very slight pause}'' sure was a movie!&quot; ''{quickly}'' Now playing in select cities. ''{disclaimer speed}'' This Strong Bad Email has been rated P for The Poopsmith and a graphic scene of The Paper.<br /> <br /> ''{[[The Paper]] comes down.}''<br /> <br /> ==Easter Eggs==<br /> *Click on &quot;grossman&quot; after Strong Bad types it to see a Strong Badman comic book cover illustrating him.<br /> *Click on &quot;critics&quot; at the end of the email to see a scene with the two youngest of the Brothers Strong.<br /> :'''STRONG SAD:''' ''(still with the blue octopus on his face)'' Look, all I'm saying is it felt more like a change-up than a curveball.<br /> :'''STRONG BAD:''' What are you, the SBEmail police now? This is like three weeks in a row!<br /> *Also click on &quot;rated P&quot; at the end to see a scene with a [[Powered by the Cheat]]-style Marzipan Alien Cow and [[Nebulon]].<br /> :'''MARZIPAN ALIEN:''' ''(in a Powered by the Cheat-style voice)'' You know, Nebulon, I've always admired your styles.&lt;br&gt;<br /> :''{Nebulon makes a sad face and slides away.}''<br /> <br /> ==Fun Facts==<br /> ===Explanations===<br /> *[[Wikipedia:Rogan Josh|Rogan Josh pot pie]] is a tomato/red pepper based lamb curry dish, created in Northern India.<br /> <br /> ===Remarks===<br /> *&quot;4actor Z&quot; is another example of [[Internet Slang|Leetspeak]].<br /> <br /> ===Goofs===<br /> *During the Lugnut and Squeak scene, the Battleship images on the playing boards are slightly disproportionate when the camera zooms in on Strong Bad.<br /> <br /> ===Inside References===<br /> *When Strong Bad says &quot;three weeks in a row&quot;, he is referring to the previous 2 emails: [[technology]], in which Strong Sad corrected Strong Bad for calling a floppy disk a &quot;hard disk&quot;, and [[secret identity]], when [[Hyperactive Strong Sad]] corrected Homestar's mispronunciation of &quot;pseudonym&quot;. All of these three corrections occured during [[Easter egg|Easter eggs]].<br /> *This is the second time Bubs has been seen closing his Concession Stand, (the first time being in [[lackey]]), and both times it had been previously graffitied.<br /> * Unlike Strong Bad ([[New Boots]]) and [[1-Up]] ([[Stinkoman 20X6]]), Marzipan Alien Cow likes Nebulon's style.<br /> *The movie title &quot;THiNGS THAT GO DUMP iN THE NiGHT&quot; is another appearance of [[Lowercase i's|lowercase ''i'''s]].<br /> <br /> ===Real-World References===<br /> * The entire Email is a spoof of movie trailer clichés.<br /> * The Game Strong Mad and The Cheat are playing is [[Wikipedia:Battleship (game)|Battleship]].<br /> * The title &quot;Things that go Dump in the Night&quot; is a reference to the more known &quot;Things that go '''Bump''' in the Night&quot;.<br /> *Lugnut &amp; Squeak is similar to [[Wikipedia:The Odd Couple|The Odd Couple]], about two mismatched roommates, which is similar to what Strong Bad said about Strong Mad and The Cheat being &quot;two unlikely partners&quot;.<br /> *The subtitle &quot;Whatzeet all aboot&quot; is the movie title spoken in a French or Canadian accent.<br /> *&quot;Teenagers on a camping trip&quot; likely refers to the movie [[Wikipedia:Friday the 13th (film series)|Friday the 13th]] and its sequels, which primarily featured such characters.<br /> <br /> ==External Links==<br /> {{sbemailextlinks|144|6969}}<br /> <br /> {{Strong Bad Email}}<br /> [[Category:Powered by The Cheat]]</div> Tue, 07 Feb 2006 06:00:04 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Talk:narrator http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004 <p>GWR 2004:&#32;/* &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Modules&lt;/span&gt; */</p> <hr /> <div>__FORCETOC__<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;font-family: 'lucida console', 'bitstream vera sans mono'; background-color: #000066; color: #FFFFFF; border: 2px solid #0000FF; padding: 2px;&quot; class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #FF0000; padding: 2px; font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;GWR 2004&lt;/div&gt;<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;About the Formatting&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> No matter how much you try to make your computer screen a piece of paper, all that white will strain your eyes. It's light! It's going to do that! Light text on a dark background will cut down the light and conserve your eyes. Hence, this heavy formatting.<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;About the User&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> === &lt;div style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Time Spent at Home&lt;/div&gt; ===<br /> &lt;table cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; width=&quot;100%&quot;&gt;&lt;tr&gt;<br /> &lt;td style=&quot;background-color: #FF0000;&quot; width=&quot;80%&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #FFFFFF;&quot;&gt;Bedroom&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;background-color: #00FF00; color: #000000;&quot; width=&quot;20%&quot;&gt;Elsewhere&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Basic Information&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> {| style=&quot;background-color: #000099; border: 2px solid #00FFFF; color: #FFFFFF;&quot;<br /> |-<br /> ! Field !! Data<br /> |-<br /> | Age || 14<br /> |-<br /> | Gender || Male<br /> |-<br /> | E-Mail || See the pretty toolbox<br /> |-<br /> | State || [[Wikipedia:Missouri|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Missouri&lt;/span&gt;]]<br /> |}<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;The HRWiki and me&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> I've been a member of this fine wiki since October 4, 2004. I mainly fix grammatical and spelling errors and vote in the [useful] [[HRWiki:STUFF|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;STUFF&lt;/span&gt;]]. Occasionally I participate in discussions. [[HRWiki:Da Basement|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;I really don't think trolls will be enough of a problem for me to twart any.&lt;/span&gt;]] Well, here at least, but I am a [[Wikipedia:User:Gwr2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Wikipedian&lt;/span&gt;]]. Now I'm just ramblin', so [[huttah!|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;MOVING ON&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Miscellaneous Crap&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> <br /> ==== &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Interests&lt;/span&gt; ====<br /> *NOT TV... except for news. I'm an infomaniac.<br /> *HRWiki. Duh.<br /> *Wikipedia<br /> *Algebra<br /> *Heavy-duty walking<br /> *Cats... just not 15 or more in the same room.<br /> *Computers... I'm a geek.<br /> *Testing gullibility<br /> <br /> == [http://www.homestarrunner.com/ &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;Homestar Runner&lt;/span&gt;] &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;and '''Him'''&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> '''Come back tomorrow'''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Wiki Contributions&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> ''02:25, 14 October 2005 (UTC)''<br /> <br /> ''Reverted '''1''' troll edit.''<br /> <br /> ''Added '''1''' troll to the [[HRWiki:WikiTroll|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;troll list&lt;/span&gt;]].''<br /> <br /> ''Welcomed '''1''' user successfully ('''1''' unsuccessful welcome&amp;mdash;[[User:Nintendork|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Nintendork&lt;/span&gt;]] - odd sitcheeation)''<br /> <br /> ''Joined '''2''' committees:&lt;br /&gt;[[HRWiki:Welcoming committee|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Welcoming Committee&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;br /&gt;[[HRWiki:Recent changes patrol|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Recent Changes Patrol&lt;/span&gt;]]''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Support Spelling, Capitalization, Punctuation, and Grammar!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> I hereby promise that any grammatical or spelling error that is spotted by me will be immediately fixed.<br /> <br /> Examples of misspelling/grammatical errors (somehow, my '''''language arts''''' teacher made these stnanks):<br /> *Common ''curtsey''... (Curtsey? Don't you mean ''courtesy''?)<br /> *make-up work | make up work | makeup work (Um... the first one is the best choice, but at least be consistent!)<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Support Firefox!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> [http://www.getfirefox.com &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;Get Firefox!&lt;/span&gt;]<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Sig!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #FFFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #00FF00; padding: 2px;&quot;&gt;'''&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, tahoma, arial, bitstream vera sans;&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;&amp;mdash;[http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/User:GWR_2004 http://www.hrwiki.org/images/3/31/GWR_Wikisig.gif]&lt;/span&gt;[[User:GWR_2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #FF0000&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #F30500&quot;&gt;W&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #E81000&quot;&gt;R&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style=&quot;color: #DD1600&quot;&gt;2&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #D21B00&quot;&gt;0&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #C72100&quot;&gt;0&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #BC2600&quot;&gt;4&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User_talk:GWR_2004|&lt;sup&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #B12C00&quot;&gt;T&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #A63200&quot;&gt;a&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #963700&quot;&gt;l&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #903D00&quot;&gt;k&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;]][[Special:Contributions/GWR_2004|&lt;sub&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #854200&quot;&gt;C&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #794800&quot;&gt;o&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #6E4D00&quot;&gt;n&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #635300&quot;&gt;t&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #585900&quot;&gt;r&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #4D5E00&quot;&gt;i&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #426400&quot;&gt;b&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #376900&quot;&gt;s&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;]]&lt;sup&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #2C6F00&quot;&gt;X&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #008000&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #217400&quot;&gt;A&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #008000&quot;&gt;S&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/span&gt;'''&lt;!-- 23 --&gt;&lt;/div&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == {{subst:User:GWR2004/headtemplate|Miscellaneous Crap}} ==<br /> Goodbye, and [http://gwr.gotdns.com &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;This&lt;/span&gt;] is a (my) Website!!!<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Notes&lt;/span&gt; == --&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Modules&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #FFCCCC; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #00FF00; padding: 2px; overflow: scroll; height: 250px;&quot;&gt;<br /> === What the crap is a module box? ===<br /> You're looking at one right now. These are for sections that can get kinda outta hand. They have their own scroll box so that it's harder to misinterpret the amount of ''actual'' content just by using the mail window's scrollbar. These are useful for user interaction, like the ever-so-popular guestbook (see below). Made by explicitly stating the size in CSS and using a cool property: &lt;code&gt;&amp;lt;div style=&quot;&lt;/code&gt; your other CSS code &lt;code&gt;overflow: scroll; height: &lt;/code&gt;x&lt;code&gt;;&quot;&amp;gt;content&amp;lt;/div&amp;gt;&lt;/code&gt;<br /> &lt;/div&gt; --&gt;<br /> &lt;/div&gt;</div> Tue, 31 Jan 2006 03:16:17 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004 <p>GWR 2004:&#32;/* Your awesome HTML */</p> <hr /> <div>__FORCETOC__<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;font-family: 'lucida console', 'bitstream vera sans mono'; background-color: #000066; color: #FFFFFF; border: 2px solid #0000FF; padding: 2px;&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #FF0000; padding: 2px; font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;GWR 2004 Talk&lt;/div&gt;<br /> ''This page will be periodically cleaned out as to flush outdated messages.''<br /> <br /> == Your awesome HTML ==<br /> :Hi gwr2004. I was wondering... would it be ok if I used that awesome title design on your user and talk page for my user page? (The colors will be changed, definately).<br /> :Sincerely,<br /> :{{User:Bubsty/sig}} 00:48, 12 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> ::I'm all about open source and sharing. I really don't care. It's fine by me. {{User:gwr2004/sig}} 03:14, 12 January 2006 (UTC)<br /> &lt;!-- Messages go above this line! --&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;<br /> [[User:GWR_2004/Talk_Archive|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;User Talk Archive&lt;/span&gt;]]<br /> &lt;/div&gt;</div> Thu, 12 Jan 2006 03:14:11 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004/sig <p>GWR 2004:&#32;</p> <hr /> <div>'''&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, tahoma, arial, bitstream vera sans;&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;&amp;mdash;[http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/User:GWR_2004 http://www.hrwiki.org/images/3/31/GWR_Wikisig.gif]&lt;/span&gt;[[User:GWR_2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #FF0000&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #F30500&quot;&gt;W&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #E81000&quot;&gt;R&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style=&quot;color: #DD1600&quot;&gt;2&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #D21B00&quot;&gt;0&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #C72100&quot;&gt;0&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #BC2600&quot;&gt;4&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User_talk:GWR_2004|&lt;sup&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #B12C00&quot;&gt;T&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #A63200&quot;&gt;a&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #963700&quot;&gt;l&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #903D00&quot;&gt;k&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;]][[Special:Contributions/GWR_2004|&lt;sub&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #854200&quot;&gt;C&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #794800&quot;&gt;o&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #6E4D00&quot;&gt;n&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #635300&quot;&gt;t&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #585900&quot;&gt;r&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #4D5E00&quot;&gt;i&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #426400&quot;&gt;b&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #376900&quot;&gt;s&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;]]&lt;/span&gt;'''&lt;!-- 23 --&gt;</div> Mon, 02 Jan 2006 06:57:14 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004/sig http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004/Talk_Archive <p>GWR 2004:&#32;fix</p> <hr /> <div>&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: 'lucida console', 'bitstream vera sans mono'; background-color: #000066; color: #FFFFFF; border: 2px solid #0000FF; padding: 2px;&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #FF0000; padding: 2px; font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;GWR 2004 Talk Archive&lt;/div&gt;<br /> ''This is the sewer where the flushed messages from my [[User talk:GWR_2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;'''talk page'''&lt;/span&gt;]] end up.''<br /> <br /> '''''Do not''' post new messages here! They '''will''' get ignored!''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Image in sig&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> Hi there GWR 2004. The image in your sig is not working and is causing pages to load slowly. Please consider changing or removing it. Thanks.[[User:Tom|&lt;nowiki&gt;&lt;/nowiki&gt;]] -- [[User:Tom|Tom]] 14:51, 10 October 2005 (UTC)<br /> :Done. '''&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, tahoma, arial, bitstream vera sans;&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;&amp;mdash;[http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/User:GWR_2004 http://www.hrwiki.org/images/3/31/GWR_Wikisig.gif]&lt;/span&gt;[[User:GWR_2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #FF0000&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #F30500&quot;&gt;W&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #E81000&quot;&gt;R&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style=&quot;color: #DD1600&quot;&gt;2&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #D21B00&quot;&gt;0&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #C72100&quot;&gt;0&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #BC2600&quot;&gt;4&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User_talk:GWR_2004|&lt;sup&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #B12C00&quot;&gt;T&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #A63200&quot;&gt;a&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #963700&quot;&gt;l&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #903D00&quot;&gt;k&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;]][[Special:Contributions/GWR_2004|&lt;sub&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #854200&quot;&gt;C&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #794800&quot;&gt;o&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #6E4D00&quot;&gt;n&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #635300&quot;&gt;t&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #585900&quot;&gt;r&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #4D5E00&quot;&gt;i&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #426400&quot;&gt;b&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #376900&quot;&gt;s&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;]]&lt;sup&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #2C6F00&quot;&gt;X&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #008000&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #217400&quot;&gt;A&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #008000&quot;&gt;S&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/span&gt;'''&lt;!-- 23 --&gt; 20:10, 10 October 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ==&lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Very odd&lt;/span&gt;==<br /> <br /> According to the [http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/HRWiki_talk:Upgrade_to_MediaWiki_1.5#Well.2C_this_is_odd &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;dump&lt;/span&gt;], it has something to do with stuff I [[Special:Contributions/GWR 2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;deleted&lt;/span&gt;]] before requesting the contributions move. '''&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, tahoma, arial, bitstream vera sans;&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;&amp;mdash;[http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/User:GWR_2004 http://www.hrwiki.org/images/3/31/GWR_Wikisig.gif]&lt;/span&gt;[[User:GWR_2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #FF0000&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #F30500&quot;&gt;W&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #E81000&quot;&gt;R&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style=&quot;color: #DD1600&quot;&gt;2&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #D21B00&quot;&gt;0&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #C72100&quot;&gt;0&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #BC2600&quot;&gt;4&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User_talk:GWR_2004|&lt;sup&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #B12C00&quot;&gt;T&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #A63200&quot;&gt;a&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #963700&quot;&gt;l&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #903D00&quot;&gt;k&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;]][[Special:Contributions/GWR_2004|&lt;sub&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #854200&quot;&gt;C&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #794800&quot;&gt;o&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #6E4D00&quot;&gt;n&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #635300&quot;&gt;t&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #585900&quot;&gt;r&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #4D5E00&quot;&gt;i&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #426400&quot;&gt;b&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #376900&quot;&gt;s&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;]]&lt;sup&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #2C6F00&quot;&gt;X&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #008000&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #217400&quot;&gt;A&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #008000&quot;&gt;S&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/span&gt;'''&lt;!-- 23 --&gt; 23:12, 11 October 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ==&lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Sig&lt;/span&gt;==<br /> <br /> Well, your signature is certainly colorful and interesting! So you definitely get points for style and creativity. However, it's taking up too much vertical space, and the background is giving your sig too much relative salience. Would you mind going back to the more conventional one, please. Thanks. &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;It's dot com&lt;/span&gt;]] 03:15, 17 October 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Template Numbering&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> In [[Template:STUFF/bedtime story|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Template:STUFF/bedtime story&lt;/span&gt;]], the signature template in question originally had an extra line but has since been fixed. Thanks for catching &amp; fixing the change! --[[User:Stux|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Stux&lt;/span&gt;]] 20:45, 28 October 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Strange Templates ==<br /> <br /> I'm curious, why do you have a {{subst:ser:GWR_2004/intlink|User:GWR 2004/intlink|template}} that does nothing but insert a link? It seems like all you're doing is causing system resources to be used up unnecessarily. Is there some hidden benefit to this I'm not seeing? &amp;mdash; {{User:JoeyDay/sig}} 19:44, 28 December 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> Actually, now that I'm looking a little more closely I'm seeing all kinds of weird templates that belong to you. Why are you replacing standard wiki code with unnecessarily long template code and causing unnecessary strain on the server in the process? &amp;mdash; {{User:JoeyDay/sig}} 19:50, 28 December 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> &lt;/div&gt;</div> Mon, 02 Jan 2006 02:13:21 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004/Talk_Archive http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004/Talk_Archive <p>GWR 2004:&#32;Add to archive</p> <hr /> <div>&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: 'lucida console', 'bitstream vera sans mono'; background-color: #000066; color: #FFFFFF; border: 2px solid #0000FF; padding: 2px;&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #FF0000; padding: 2px; font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;GWR 2004 Talk Archive&lt;/div&gt;<br /> ''This is the sewer where the flushed messages from my [[User talk:GWR_2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;'''talk page'''&lt;/span&gt;]] end up.''<br /> <br /> '''''Do not''' post new messages here! They '''will''' get ignored!''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Image in sig&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> Hi there GWR 2004. The image in your sig is not working and is causing pages to load slowly. Please consider changing or removing it. Thanks.[[User:Tom|&lt;nowiki&gt;&lt;/nowiki&gt;]] -- [[User:Tom|Tom]] 14:51, 10 October 2005 (UTC)<br /> :Done. '''&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, tahoma, arial, bitstream vera sans;&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;&amp;mdash;[http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/User:GWR_2004 http://www.hrwiki.org/images/3/31/GWR_Wikisig.gif]&lt;/span&gt;[[User:GWR_2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #FF0000&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #F30500&quot;&gt;W&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #E81000&quot;&gt;R&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style=&quot;color: #DD1600&quot;&gt;2&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #D21B00&quot;&gt;0&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #C72100&quot;&gt;0&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #BC2600&quot;&gt;4&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User_talk:GWR_2004|&lt;sup&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #B12C00&quot;&gt;T&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #A63200&quot;&gt;a&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #963700&quot;&gt;l&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #903D00&quot;&gt;k&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;]][[Special:Contributions/GWR_2004|&lt;sub&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #854200&quot;&gt;C&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #794800&quot;&gt;o&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #6E4D00&quot;&gt;n&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #635300&quot;&gt;t&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #585900&quot;&gt;r&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #4D5E00&quot;&gt;i&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #426400&quot;&gt;b&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #376900&quot;&gt;s&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;]]&lt;sup&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #2C6F00&quot;&gt;X&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #008000&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #217400&quot;&gt;A&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #008000&quot;&gt;S&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/span&gt;'''&lt;!-- 23 --&gt; 20:10, 10 October 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ==&lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Very odd&lt;/span&gt;==<br /> <br /> According to the [http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/HRWiki_talk:Upgrade_to_MediaWiki_1.5#Well.2C_this_is_odd &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;dump&lt;/span&gt;], it has something to do with stuff I [[Special:Contributions/GWR 2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;deleted&lt;/span&gt;]] before requesting the contributions move. '''&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, tahoma, arial, bitstream vera sans;&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;&amp;mdash;[http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/User:GWR_2004 http://www.hrwiki.org/images/3/31/GWR_Wikisig.gif]&lt;/span&gt;[[User:GWR_2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #FF0000&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #F30500&quot;&gt;W&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #E81000&quot;&gt;R&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style=&quot;color: #DD1600&quot;&gt;2&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #D21B00&quot;&gt;0&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #C72100&quot;&gt;0&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #BC2600&quot;&gt;4&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User_talk:GWR_2004|&lt;sup&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #B12C00&quot;&gt;T&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #A63200&quot;&gt;a&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #963700&quot;&gt;l&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #903D00&quot;&gt;k&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;]][[Special:Contributions/GWR_2004|&lt;sub&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #854200&quot;&gt;C&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #794800&quot;&gt;o&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #6E4D00&quot;&gt;n&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #635300&quot;&gt;t&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #585900&quot;&gt;r&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #4D5E00&quot;&gt;i&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #426400&quot;&gt;b&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #376900&quot;&gt;s&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;]]&lt;sup&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #2C6F00&quot;&gt;X&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #008000&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #217400&quot;&gt;A&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #008000&quot;&gt;S&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/span&gt;'''&lt;!-- 23 --&gt; 23:12, 11 October 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ==&lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Sig&lt;/span&gt;==<br /> <br /> Well, your signature is certainly colorful and interesting! So you definitely get points for style and creativity. However, it's taking up too much vertical space, and the background is giving your sig too much relative salience. Would you mind going back to the more conventional one, please. Thanks. &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;It's dot com&lt;/span&gt;]] 03:15, 17 October 2005 (UTC)<br /> &lt;/div&gt;<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Template Numbering&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> In [[Template:STUFF/bedtime story|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Template:STUFF/bedtime story&lt;/span&gt;]], the signature template in question originally had an extra line but has since been fixed. Thanks for catching &amp; fixing the change! --[[User:Stux|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Stux&lt;/span&gt;]] 20:45, 28 October 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> == Strange Templates ==<br /> <br /> I'm curious, why do you have a {{subst:ser:GWR_2004/intlink|User:GWR 2004/intlink|template}} that does nothing but insert a link? It seems like all you're doing is causing system resources to be used up unnecessarily. Is there some hidden benefit to this I'm not seeing? &amp;mdash; {{User:JoeyDay/sig}} 19:44, 28 December 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> Actually, now that I'm looking a little more closely I'm seeing all kinds of weird templates that belong to you. Why are you replacing standard wiki code with unnecessarily long template code and causing unnecessary strain on the server in the process? &amp;mdash; {{User:JoeyDay/sig}} 19:50, 28 December 2005 (UTC)</div> Mon, 02 Jan 2006 02:12:49 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004/Talk_Archive http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004 <p>GWR 2004:&#32;New Year's Cleaning</p> <hr /> <div>__FORCETOC__<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;font-family: 'lucida console', 'bitstream vera sans mono'; background-color: #000066; color: #FFFFFF; border: 2px solid #0000FF; padding: 2px;&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #FF0000; padding: 2px; font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;GWR 2004 Talk&lt;/div&gt;<br /> ''This page will be periodically cleaned out as to flush outdated messages.''<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- Messages go above this line! --&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;<br /> [[User:GWR_2004/Talk_Archive|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;User Talk Archive&lt;/span&gt;]]<br /> &lt;/div&gt;</div> Mon, 02 Jan 2006 02:11:06 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004/welcome <p>GWR 2004:&#32;Template-less 4: You get the idea.</p> <hr /> <div>== Welcome! ==<br /> &lt;!-- Start of the welcome message - Start deleting from the line just above. --&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #000066; color: #FFFFFF; border: 2px solid #0000FF; padding: 2px;&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #FF0000; padding: 2px; font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;Welcome to the Homestar Runner Wiki!&lt;/div&gt;<br /> Welcome to the '''Homestar Runner Wiki!''' We're glad to have you as a member. If you need any help, feel free to ask anyone on the [[HRWiki:Welcoming committee#Members|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;welcoming committee&lt;/span&gt;]]. You can also post questions on the [[HRWiki talk:FAQ|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;FAQ talk page&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> <br /> Here are some tips to get you started:<br /> * If you need general information, editing tips, or answers to frequently asked questions, check out the [[Help:Contents|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;help&lt;/span&gt;]] page.<br /> * Before you do any significant editing, be sure to familiarize yourself with our [[HRWiki:Standards|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;wiki standards&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> * Read up on the rules and guidelines for your [[HRWiki:User space|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;user page&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> * If you're not sure what you can do to help out, head over to [[HRWiki:The Stick|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;The Stick&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> * If you're looking for more community interaction, you can also register over at our [http://forum.hrwiki.org &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;forum&lt;/span&gt;].<br /> * Above all, be sure to '''be bold''' and have fun!<br /> <br /> Feel free to yell, &quot;[[DELETED|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;DELETED!!!&lt;/span&gt;]]&quot; and remove this message when you're done reading it. After all, your user page belongs to you. I hope this information is helpful, and that you'll have a good experience contributing to our knowledge-base and our community.<br /> <br /> Sincerely,&lt;br /&gt;<br /> {{subst:User:GWR2004/sig}}, and &quot;The Homestar Runner Wiki Welcoming Committee&quot; {{{1}}}<br /> &lt;/div&gt;<br /> &lt;!-- End of the welcome message - End deleting at the end of this line if you want to delete this message. --&gt;</div> Thu, 29 Dec 2005 06:20:44 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004/welcome http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004 <p>GWR 2004:&#32;/* Basic Information */</p> <hr /> <div>__FORCETOC__<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;font-family: 'lucida console', 'bitstream vera sans mono'; background-color: #000066; color: #FFFFFF; border: 2px solid #0000FF; padding: 2px;&quot; class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #FF0000; padding: 2px; font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;GWR 2004&lt;/div&gt;<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;About the Formatting&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> No matter how much you try to make your computer screen a piece of paper, all that white will strain your eyes. It's light! It's going to do that! Light text on a dark background will cut down the light and conserve your eyes. Hence, this heavy formatting.<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;About the User&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> === &lt;div style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Time Spent at Home&lt;/div&gt; ===<br /> &lt;table cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; cellpadding=&quot;0&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; width=&quot;100%&quot;&gt;&lt;tr&gt;<br /> &lt;td style=&quot;background-color: #FF0000;&quot; width=&quot;80%&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #FFFFFF;&quot;&gt;Bedroom&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td style=&quot;background-color: #00FF00; color: #000000;&quot; width=&quot;20%&quot;&gt;Elsewhere&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Basic Information&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> {| style=&quot;background-color: #000099; border: 2px solid #00FFFF; color: #FFFFFF;&quot;<br /> |-<br /> ! Field !! Data<br /> |-<br /> | Age || 14<br /> |-<br /> | Gender || Male<br /> |-<br /> | E-Mail || See the pretty toolbox<br /> |-<br /> | State || [[Wikipedia:Missouri|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Missouri&lt;/span&gt;]]<br /> |}<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;The HRWiki and me&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> I've been a member of this fine wiki since October 4, 2004. I mainly fix grammatical and spelling errors and vote in the [useful] [[HRWiki:STUFF|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;STUFF&lt;/span&gt;]]. Occasionally I participate in discussions. [[HRWiki:Da Basement|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;I really don't think trolls will be enough of a problem for me to twart any.&lt;/span&gt;]] Well, here at least, but I am a [[Wikipedia:User:Gwr2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Wikipedian&lt;/span&gt;]]. Now I'm just ramblin', so [[huttah!|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;MOVING ON&lt;/span&gt;]].<br /> <br /> === &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Miscellaneous Crap&lt;/span&gt; ===<br /> <br /> ==== &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Interests&lt;/span&gt; ====<br /> *NOT TV... except for news. I'm an infomaniac.<br /> *HRWiki. Duh.<br /> *Wikipedia<br /> *Algebra<br /> *Heavy-duty walking<br /> *Cats... just not 15 or more in the same room.<br /> *Computers... I'm a geek.<br /> *Testing gullibility<br /> <br /> == [http://www.homestarrunner.com/ &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;Homestar Runner&lt;/span&gt;] &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;and '''Him'''&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> '''Come back tomorrow'''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Wiki Contributions&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> ''02:25, 14 October 2005 (UTC)''<br /> <br /> ''Reverted '''1''' troll edit.''<br /> <br /> ''Added '''1''' troll to the [[HRWiki:WikiTroll|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;troll list&lt;/span&gt;]].''<br /> <br /> ''Welcomed '''1''' user successfully ('''1''' unsuccessful welcome&amp;mdash;[[User:Nintendork|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Nintendork&lt;/span&gt;]] - odd sitcheeation)''<br /> <br /> ''Joined '''2''' committees:&lt;br /&gt;[[HRWiki:Welcoming committee|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Welcoming Committee&lt;/span&gt;]]&lt;br /&gt;[[HRWiki:Recent changes patrol|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Recent Changes Patrol&lt;/span&gt;]]''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Support Spelling, Capitalization, Punctuation, and Grammar!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> I hereby promise that any grammatical or spelling error that is spotted by me will be immediately fixed.<br /> <br /> Examples of misspelling/grammatical errors (somehow, my '''''language arts''''' teacher made these stnanks):<br /> *Common ''curtsey''... (Curtsey? Don't you mean ''courtesy''?)<br /> *make-up work | make up work | makeup work (Um... the first one is the best choice, but at least be consistent!)<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Support Firefox!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> [http://www.getfirefox.com &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;Get Firefox!&lt;/span&gt;]<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Sig!&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #FFFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #00FF00; padding: 2px;&quot;&gt;'''&lt;span style=&quot;font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, tahoma, arial, bitstream vera sans;&quot;&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;plainlinks&quot;&gt;&amp;mdash;[http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/User:GWR_2004 http://www.hrwiki.org/images/3/31/GWR_Wikisig.gif]&lt;/span&gt;[[User:GWR_2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #FF0000&quot;&gt;G&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #F30500&quot;&gt;W&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #E81000&quot;&gt;R&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style=&quot;color: #DD1600&quot;&gt;2&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #D21B00&quot;&gt;0&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #C72100&quot;&gt;0&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #BC2600&quot;&gt;4&lt;/span&gt;]] [[User_talk:GWR_2004|&lt;sup&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #B12C00&quot;&gt;T&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #A63200&quot;&gt;a&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #963700&quot;&gt;l&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #903D00&quot;&gt;k&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;]][[Special:Contributions/GWR_2004|&lt;sub&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #854200&quot;&gt;C&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #794800&quot;&gt;o&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #6E4D00&quot;&gt;n&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #635300&quot;&gt;t&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #585900&quot;&gt;r&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #4D5E00&quot;&gt;i&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #426400&quot;&gt;b&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #376900&quot;&gt;s&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sub&gt;]]&lt;sup&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #2C6F00&quot;&gt;X&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #008000&quot;&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #217400&quot;&gt;A&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;color: #008000&quot;&gt;S&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/span&gt;'''&lt;!-- 23 --&gt;&lt;/div&gt;<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- == {{subst:User:GWR2004/headtemplate|Miscellaneous Crap}} ==<br /> Goodbye, and [http://gwr.gotdns.com &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;This&lt;/span&gt;] is a (my) Website!!!<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Notes&lt;/span&gt; == --&gt;<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Modules&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #FFCCCC; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #00FF00; padding: 2px; overflow: scroll; height: 250px;&quot;&gt;<br /> === What the crap is a module box? ===<br /> You're looking at one right now. These are for sections that can get kinda outta hand. They have their own scroll box so that it's harder to misinterpret the amount of ''actual'' content just by using the mail window's scrollbar. These are useful for user interaction, like the ever-so-popular guestbook (see below). Made by explicitly stating the size in CSS and using a cool property: &lt;code&gt;&amp;lt;div style=&quot;&lt;/code&gt; your other CSS code &lt;code&gt;overflow: scroll; height: &lt;/code&gt;x&lt;code&gt;;&quot;&amp;gt;content&amp;lt;/div&amp;gt;&lt;/code&gt;<br /> &lt;/div&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #00FF00; padding: 2px; overflow: scroll; height: 250px;&quot;&gt;<br /> === Guestbook&amp;mdash;Hopping on the bandwagon ===<br /> There seems to be an abundance of these, so might as well jump on the bandwagon. This might get quite large, so I put it in a module box. Don't forget to sign!<br /> &lt;!-- # list - start below this line - sign with # and four tildes (~) (comment optional) --&gt;<br /> #{{User:Bubsty/sig}} 01:41, 12 December 2005 (UTC) Awight! First signer!<br /> #{{User:RJMT/sig}} 06:27, 12 December 2005 (UTC) Yay! I'm the 2nd signer!!! w00t!<br /> #{{User:Heimstern Läufer/sig}} 06:40, 12 December 2005 (UTC) Sei mir gegrüßt!<br /> #{{User:Almo/sig}} 23:34, 12 December 2005 (UTC) Nice HTML work on this page. I tend to lose my place when working with large amounts of it.<br /> #{{User:Has Matt?/sig}} 09:39, 12 December 2005 (UTC) This is the best undersea epic ever filmed.<br /> #-{{User:Houdin654jeff/sig}} 17:25, 12 December 2005 (UTC) Best five bucks I ever spent!<br /> #{{User:Thunderbird L17/Siggie}} 17:41, 12 December 2005 (UTC) A module box? What's this malarky?<br /> #{{User:The Chort/sig}} 18:48, 12 December 2005 (UTC) My autograph? Sure!<br /> #{{User:Teh_Frossty_One/sig}} 13:08, 13 December 2005 (UTC) g-g-g-GUESTBOOK'D!<br /> #&amp;mdash; {{User:Lapper/sig}} 13:15, 13 December 2005 (UTC)<br /> #--{{User:Homsarroks/sig}} 22:58, 14 December 2005 (UTC)Saw your sig, thought I'd return the favor.<br /> #--[[User:Stux|Stux]] 21:15, 15 December 2005 (UTC) I was so busy gawking at the XHTML features that I forgot that I hadn't signed! <br /> #{{User:The Paper/sig}} 21:31, 15 December 2005 (UTC) Module boxes are awexome. <br /> #--{{User:The 386/sig}} 01:42, 16 December 2005 (UTC) I don't care how much I have or what I'm doing. I am signing this.<br /> #{{User:bkmlb/sig}} 03:25, 16 December 2005 (UTC) teach you to try and mess around in my HTML!<br /> #{{User:Trey56/sig}} 06:53, 16 December 2005 (UTC) Thanks for signing my guestbook!<br /> #{{User:Salty/sig}} 13:23, 16 December 2005 (UTC) Crazy.<br /> #{{User:The thing/sig}} 18:48, 18 December 2005 (UTC) Ummm... Hi<br /> #--{{User:Benol/sig}} 00:15, 21 December 2005 (UTC) I NEVER SIGNED IT???<br /> #{{User:Kilroy/sig}} 02:45, 22 December 2005 (UTC)<br /> &lt;/div&gt;<br /> &lt;/div&gt;</div> Thu, 29 Dec 2005 06:18:14 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User:GWR_2004/Talk_Archive <p>GWR 2004:&#32;Template-less 3: Complicating the Style</p> <hr /> <div>&lt;div style=&quot;font-family: 'lucida console', 'bitstream vera sans mono'; background-color: #000066; color: #FFFFFF; border: 2px solid #0000FF; padding: 2px;&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #FF0000; padding: 2px; font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;GWR 2004 Talk Archive&lt;/div&gt;<br /> ''This is the sewer where the flushed messages from my [[User talk:GWR_2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;'''talk page'''&lt;/span&gt;]] end up.''<br /> <br /> '''''Do not''' post new messages here! They '''will''' get ignored!''<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Image in sig&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> Hi there GWR 2004. The image in your sig is not working and is causing pages to load slowly. Please consider changing or removing it. Thanks.[[User:Tom|&lt;nowiki&gt;&lt;/nowiki&gt;]] -- [[User:Tom|Tom]] 14:51, 10 October 2005 (UTC)<br /> :Done. {{subst:User:GWR2004/sig}} 20:10, 10 October 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ==&lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Very odd&lt;/span&gt;==<br /> <br /> According to the [http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/HRWiki_talk:Upgrade_to_MediaWiki_1.5#Well.2C_this_is_odd &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFCC;&quot;&gt;dump&lt;/span&gt;], it has something to do with stuff I [[Special:Contributions/GWR 2004|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;deleted&lt;/span&gt;]] before requesting the contributions move. {{subst:User:GWR2004/sig}} 23:12, 11 October 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> ==&lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Sig&lt;/span&gt;==<br /> <br /> Well, your signature is certainly colorful and interesting! So you definitely get points for style and creativity. However, it's taking up too much vertical space, and the background is giving your sig too much relative salience. Would you mind going back to the more conventional one, please. Thanks. &amp;mdash; [[User:It's dot com|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;It's dot com&lt;/span&gt;]] 03:15, 17 October 2005 (UTC)<br /> &lt;/div&gt;<br /> <br /> == &lt;span style=&quot;color: #CCFFFF;&quot;&gt;Template Numbering&lt;/span&gt; ==<br /> <br /> In [[Template:STUFF/bedtime story|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Template:STUFF/bedtime story&lt;/span&gt;]], the signature template in question originally had an extra line but has since been fixed. Thanks for catching &amp; fixing the change! --[[User:Stux|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;Stux&lt;/span&gt;]] 20:45, 28 October 2005 (UTC)</div> Thu, 29 Dec 2005 06:16:08 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004/Talk_Archive http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004 <p>GWR 2004:&#32;Template-less 2: The Attack of the &lt;span&gt; Tags</p> <hr /> <div>__FORCETOC__<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;font-family: 'lucida console', 'bitstream vera sans mono'; background-color: #000066; color: #FFFFFF; border: 2px solid #0000FF; padding: 2px;&quot;&gt;<br /> &lt;div style=&quot;background-color: #CCFFFF; color: #000000; border: 2px solid #FF0000; padding: 2px; font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold;&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;GWR 2004 Talk&lt;/div&gt;<br /> ''This page will be periodically cleaned out as to flush outdated messages.''<br /> <br /> &lt;!-- Messages go above this line! --&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;<br /> [[User:GWR_2004/Talk_Archive|&lt;span style=&quot;color: #33FFFF;&quot;&gt;User Talk Archive&lt;/span&gt;]]<br /> &lt;/div&gt;<br /> <br /> == Strange Templates ==<br /> <br /> I'm curious, why do you have a [[User:GWR 2004/intlink|template]] that does nothing but insert a link? It seems like all you're doing is causing system resources to be used up unnecessarily. Is there some hidden benefit to this I'm not seeing? &amp;mdash; {{User:JoeyDay/sig}} 19:44, 28 December 2005 (UTC)<br /> <br /> Actually, now that I'm looking a little more closely I'm seeing all kinds of weird templates that belong to you. Why are you replacing standard wiki code with unnecessarily long template code and causing unnecessary strain on the server in the process? &amp;mdash; {{User:JoeyDay/sig}} 19:50, 28 December 2005 (UTC)</div> Thu, 29 Dec 2005 06:14:09 GMT GWR 2004 http://hrwiki.org/wiki/User_talk:GWR_2004