Homestar Runner Wiki - User contributions [en]

Talk:Thy Dungeonman 3

Neuromancer6 — Tue, 25 Apr 2006 22:44:03 GMT

Neuromancer6:

Okay, everybody, I have the benefit of being a timezone where it made sense to be awake when DMIII was released. Thus, I have started the article. This is my first ever HRWiki edit, so I tried not to be too ambitious. I'm sure you will have filled in the rest by the time I finish typing this. Thank you! [[User:Matthew McVickar|Matthew McVickar]] 10:26, 24 April 2006 (UTC)

Hey everybody, this is the kid who made that one [http://s88340807.onlinehome.us/~bkr/archives/2004/02/24/thy_dungeonman_2_walkthrough.php walkthrough] for Thy Dungeonman II way back when. I was looking for a way to kill time between CS assignments at 2:00 AM and found that the Bros Chaps released a new Dungeonman game! Here is the basic sequence of steps: I know this awesome community will flesh it out. Thanks guys! [[User:The Lyrical Wondermind|The Lyrical Wondermind]] 10:43, 24 April 2006 (UTC)

Best Dungeonman ever. - [[User:Volbeat A The Cheat|Volbeat A The Cheat]] 12:09, 24 April 2006 (UTC)

The useful word ''ganching'' has now entered my vocabulary. —[[User:AbdiViklas|AbdiViklas]] 16:45, 24 April 2006 (UTC)

== Canonical name ==

I think these pages need to be moved to [[Thy Dungeonman 3]] (with the arabic numeral instead of the roman numeral). First of all, and most importantly, the actual title screen uses the numeral 3. In addition, the [[Videlectrix:videlectrix_catalog.html|game catalog]] lists a 3. I realize the [[Videlectrix:videlectrix_gallery.html|box art]] has a III, but that shouldn't outweigh what's displayed in the actual game, should it? — [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 16:23, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
:Probably not. Though they should be left as redirects. {{User:ACupOfCoffee/sig}} 16:29, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
::The first title one would normally see is the box title, not the in-game title. I'd leave it as is. {{User:Qermaq/sig}} 16:32, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
:::The only place it says III is on the box. ''Everywhere'' in the game it's referred to as 3. The updates button refers to it as 3. I vote for the move, keeping redirects. {{User:Phlip/sig}} 16:40, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
::::Qermaq: I didn't think of this earlier, but most people wouldn't even ''see'' the box art (you have to dig around Videlectrix to find it), whereas everyone who plays the game will see the title screen. Therefore, people searching for the game here will be using a 3. — [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 16:43, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
:::::The liberty TBC have taken with using roman/arabic numerals leads me to conclude that it's okay to use them interchangeably for this game. I would rather keep our counting method the same rather than duplicate what we see on the game's title screen. I would like it for us to have articles for Thy Dungeonman II and III, or Thy Dungeonman 2 and 3. I can't stand to see it both ways. —[[User:BazookaJoe|BazookaJoe]] 19:38, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
::::::I think it's more TBC's style to ''intentionally'' mix roman and arabic numerals. I think our need should be to get it right as it appears on the title screen, not by some arbitrary counting system. Coincidentally, it was I <span class="plainlinks">[http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=Thy_Dungeonman_II&diff=157446&oldid=146992 who noticed]</span> that Thy Dungeonman II's title screen uses a roman numeral. — [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 05:14, 25 April 2006 (UTC)
:::::::Thy Dungeonman isn't the [[Wikipedia:Doom|only]] game [[Wikipedia:Descent (computer game)|series]] to use II and 3 in their game titles. {{User:Phlip/sig}} 05:28, 25 April 2006 (UTC)
::::::::Also, we've got the nonmatching Duck Guardians ("[[Duck Guardian One|One]]" and "[[Duck Guardian 2|2]]"). — [[User:It's dot com|It's dot com]] 05:38, 25 April 2006 (UTC)
:::::::Aren't the Pentium procesors like that too? My computer runs on a III, but then there is Pentium 4, right? Pentium D and M also go in another direction. - [[User:Volbeat A The Cheat|Volbeat A The Cheat]] 10:14, 25 April 2006 (UTC)

== fake blood, um i mean fake ketchup. ==

kinda funny, using fake ketchup for fake blood... {{User:Csours/sig}} 19:16, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
: Who said it was ''fake'' blood? The game never once even hints in that direction, and in fact hints that it's really blood multiple times. Though it never outright says it... --{{User:Jay/sig}} 19:18, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
::Yeah, it makes more sense as a joke that way. "Fake Blood" = Ketchup generally, so it stands to reason that "Fake Ketchup" = Blood. {{User:Thunderbird L17/Siggie}} 19:22, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
::: OMG!!! it is full of cholesterol. ugghh. thou feelest very ill. {{User:Csours/sig}} 19:27, 24 April 2006 (UTC)

== Glitch ==

Umm... I am experiencing a problem. I have found the hag, and I correctly answer the first two questions. But no matter which of the four choices I choose for question three, I die. Whatith happenth? --{{User:Total Spaceship Guy3/sig}} 19:25, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
: Use the version from Homestarrunner.com (rather than Videlectrix.com) or clear your cache. That's a known issue when she has four haglets. --{{User:Jay/sig}} 19:26, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
::Actually, it ''is'' four for me. That's likely the problem. Thanks. Also, would I be able to load from my save after I clear the cache? --{{User:Total Spaceship Guy3/sig}} 19:29, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
:::You should. The saved games aren't part of your cache; they're cookies. You cache just saves a copy of every page you visit (within a certain size) so that they'll load faster later. --{{User:Jay/sig}} 19:32, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
::::Hmm... Didn't seem to work. Clearing the cache is ''Shift + Reload'' for Firefox, right? --{{User:Total Spaceship Guy3/sig}} 19:36, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
:::::Are you playing the game through Homestarrunner.com? --{{User:Jay/sig}} 19:39, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
::::::Yes. I noticed something even wierder when I cleared my cahce. Whenever I start a game, I start at the Hag. Noth! --{{User:Total Spaceship Guy3/sig}} 19:43, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
:::::::Oddly, that just happened to me a moment ago too. And I had the "fake ketchup" but zero points! --{{User:Jay/sig}} 19:45, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
::::::::Maybe I should remove the H*R cookies... --{{User:Total Spaceship Guy3/sig}} 19:47, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
:::::::::Hmm... I'll try playing in IE. --{{User:Total Spaceship Guy3/sig}} 20:17, 24 April 2006 (UTC)

== Huh? ==

For some strange reason, it starts me up at the hag clearing. I don't get that. Is my cookies messed? Oh no. Help me! {{User:Homfrog/sig}} 20:38, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
:Happens to me too. Why'd you post this twice? [[User:Swimma Dan|Swimma Dan]] 20:45, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
::It's just a mistake on TBC's part. It'll probably be fixed real soon, so I suggest you find something else to play until they solve the problem. - {{User:Joshua/sig}} 20:50, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
I got it too. -[[User:GG Crono|GG Crono]]

== Pictures ==
Does anybody recognize any of the pictures from anywhere? Or did TBC stage/draw all of these scenes themselves? - {{User:Joshua/sig}} 20:50, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
:My guess-- they drew 'em. Or took pictures (for the people, I didn't get very far, ok?!) of themselves/friends.--[[User:MrsCommanderson|MrsCommanderson]] 22:15, 24 April 2006 (UTC)
:The vegetable cart man outside Westerburg is definitely based on Matt. I wouldn't be surprised if the pictures were just contrasted to look that way. But some of them were probably drawn. [[User:VolatileChemical|VolatileChemical]] 22:26, 24 April 2006 (UTC)

== Older games like this? ==

I seem to remember playing a game like this in middle school about twelve years ago on an old Apple II (the game was probably old even then). It was 2D, and it sported a series of monochrome drawings (or maybe it was just the monitor that was monochrome, I dunno) and crude animation (two frames for walking). You were a guy exploring a castle, and you had to collect items and solve puzzles. I remember barely anything about it, except that you could go up and down stairs and I think one of the objects was a magic goblet. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? :p [[User:68.33.67.116|68.33.67.116]] 04:03, 25 April 2006 (UTC)

== Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy? ==

"'Corn in thy ear' is a reference to an episode of Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy (entitled Scrambled Ed) in which Ed says 'Do you have corn in your ears, mister?'"

Leaping to conclusions, much? Looks like a pretty simple play on the phrase "ear of corn" to me.

== Out of the X and into the Y ==

Seems to me that "Out of the dungeon and into the bile" is a reference to the chapter from The Hobbit, "Out of the frying pan and into the fire". [[User:Swimma Dan|Swimma Dan]] 20:43, 25 April 2006 (UTC)
:That's a common phrase... --{{User:Venusy/Sig}} 20:49, 25 April 2006 (UTC)

== Pirates! Reference ==

Hey, maybe it's just me, but isn't the ending screen very similar to the ending of Sid Meier's Pirates! (stupid games with puncuation in the titles)? If no one here knows what that game is, I'll get a pic with the ending text from it and link/post it here. --[[User:Neuromancer6|Neuromancer6]]

lady fan

Neuromancer6 — Thu, 09 Mar 2006 01:28:07 GMT

Neuromancer6: /* Explanations */ This is fixed to be proper written English. Parentheses are part of the sentence, and the period always comes after them.

{{sbenav|147|pop-up|some kinda robot}}
[[Image:Sbemail147.PNG|thumb|"Twees it out!"]]

Strong Bad tries to impress an emailer's new lady fan.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|Homestar Runner}}, {{Film|The Cheat}}, {{Film|Marzipan}}

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[Gymnasium]], [[Strong Bad's Laundry Room]], [[Marzipan's House]]

{{Comp|Lappy 486}}

'''Date:''' March 6, 2006

'''Running Time:''' 3:29

'''Page Title:''' Lappy 486

==Transcript==

'''STRONG BAD:''' How many emails can you check? Five, twelve, seven, shut up.

''{reading}''

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: extra cool</div>
Dear Strong Bad,<br />
My new lady fan does not like you so much. Should I<br />
just call it quits now or can you do something extra special<br />
cool to impress her?<br />
Buck Webb<br />
Houston, Tejas
</blockquote>

''{Strong Bad reads "Houston" as "Hooston".}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Buck Webb? You sound like one of those boring soap-opera comic strips from the, ''{stops typing}'' quote-un-quote, ''{resumes typing}'' "funny" pages.

''{An example of a boring soap-opera comic pops up. It is titled "Buck Webb, Extraordinaire". Music begins playing. When characters talk, speech balloons appear.}''

'''BUCK:''' I'm afraid it's Splittsville for us, Lady Fan... if you don't take a shine to Strong Bad!

'''LADY FAN:''' ''{drippy speech balloon}'' Oh, Buck...

''{Cut to the next panel. Lady fan is holding a pistol up to Buck.}''

'''LADY FAN:''' I'll give Strong Bad a chance. In fact...

''{Cut to next panel, of a turtle in a pool, with the caption "Sea turtles eat a wide variety of food".}''

'''LADY FAN:''' ... I think I'm falling for him. Like, big time.

'''BUCK:''' C'mon, baby. Stay with me.

''{Next panel. Buck is holding a yoga DVD.}''

'''BUCK:''' I'll buy you a new yoga DVD!!

''{Next panel. Lady fan is crying and there is a caption "Back in Des Moines..."}''

'''LADY FAN:''' I'll... think about it!!!!

''{Cut away from the comic. The Lappy's screen has been cleared.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' We both know who she's gonna choose, Buck. Is that what you want? But hey, you asked for it. And as you know, when people send me stupid emails, I'm obligated by law to do what they say. So, extra special cool coming right up!

''{Cut to a gymnasium.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Nothing's more E-S-C than one-handed push-ups. Coupla these bad boys oughta do the trick! Here-a I-a go-a!

''{Strong Bad attempts to do a one-handed push-up, but falls down. The scoreboard buzzes and turns to -1.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, did I say "one-handed push-ups"? Those things are lame. Real men play two-handed push-ups! We'll start with fifty and see how we feel. Here-sa I-sa go-sa!

''{Strong Bad attempts to do a two-handed push up. Beads of sweat appear on his forehead, but he is unable to lift himself off the ground. The scoreboard buzzes and turns to -51.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' I can't do ONE push up?! I used to be able to do like four. Maybe I need to start workin' out.

''{Homestar Runner appears dressed as an aerobics instructor, wearing a leotard and legwarmers.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Boy, I'll say you do. One, two, and flex your pecs! Give it eight more! And five! Twees it out! C'mon y'all! Just twees it out!

'''STRONG BAD:''' Twees it out?

''{Homestar turns around to show Strong Bad his rear. Strong Bad looks away and blocks the image with his hand.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Your buttweesimo! We're gonna mold that twees into the Iron Sheik!

''{Homestar looks toward Strong Bad's "twees". Strong Bad replies by covering it with both hands.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Just six more now! Eight and four! Shake it freely, twees it out!

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, cool. I'm gonna go ahead and need you to never say "twees it out" ever again.

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' You're doing great! Now shoulders down! One and two...

''{Strong Bad walks towards the viewer. Homestar continues to stretch in the background.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' What'll really impress your lady fan is a cute, fluffy The Cheat—

''{Scene changes to the laundry room.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Fresh from the dryer!

''{Strong Bad opens the dryer, revealing a fluffy The Cheat.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Awww, look at him! All cottony soft...

''{Strong Bad tries to pet The Cheat but is shocked by static electricity.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' AHHHH! Jeez, use a dryer sheet, man.

''{The Cheat starts turning green and his The Cheat noises turn queasy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Uh oh, this is not looking extra special cool.

''{Strong Bad closes the dryer door just as The Cheat throws up.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Don't worry, little buddy. We'll just throw you back in the wash.

''{Some vomit runs out the corner of the dryer door. Homestar returns, still in his work-out uniform.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Back in the wash. Come on, come on! Twees it, twees it, zabaradoo!

'''STRONG BAD:''' Get it out of here, Wretched Simmons! I'm trying to get some girl to like some guy I don't know!

''{Homestar bobs up and down twice more. Scene changes to Strong Bad and Marzipan sitting at a table with a "CAT MESS" kitty litter bag, pie pan with some kitty litter in it, a glue gun, envelopes, and scissors.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' One thing I definitely know about lady fans is that they all like crappy arts and crafts projects.

'''MARZIPAN:''' Today we're going to make a real creative centerpiece out of junk mail and kitty litter.

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sarcastically}'' Sounds heavenly...

'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{picks up an envelope and begins to cut it with the scissors}'' Now first of all I want you to take your snip-sniparooskies-- and that's what we call our scissors...

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{overlapping, uninterested}'' Uh-huh...

'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{cut to a closeup of the envelope}'' ...and then just a little crinkle cut right here on the northern edge...

''{Cut back to wide shot. Marzipan becomes angry at Strong Bad.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' UGH! Never mind! What the lady fans really want is some ''{high-pitched echo-y screaming}'' PYROTECHNICS!!!

''{Strong Bad throws the BMW Lighter onto the table, causing multiple explosions that turn everything to ashes, including Marzipan's hair. The ashen remains of the "CAT MESS" bag collapse.}''

'''MARZIPAN:''' Strong Bad, you're a horse's twees.

''{The remains of the glue gun collapse as well. Cut back to the Lappy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' There you have it, Buck. Oh wait...

''{Changes to comic strip version of Strong Bad talking to Buck.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' There you have it, Buck! If that floozy's not all up ons after that, you gotta drop her like a trig class, see??!!??!

''{Next panel, solo shot of Buck.}''

'''BUCK:''' Tight, Strong Bad. Real tight.

''{Next panel, silhouettes of Strong Bad and Buck looking at work-out Homestar.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' That's right. Keep that twees real tight. Flex it, flex it, shoulder stance.

''{Next panel, a comic book version of [[The Paper]]. The Paper noise is heard. A caption reads "PREEEOW!!"}''

==Easter Eggs==

*Click the scoreboard after Strong Bad calls one-handed push-ups lame to see a blue bumper sticker that says "Real Men Play <span style="text-decoration: underline;">''Two Handed''</span> Push-ups!!" with a small image of a soccer ball in the corner.
*At the end, click on the printer's green button to see Homestar's weight-loss DVD, titled "Tweesercize". The box reads:
<pre>
Tweesercize with Homestar Runner
Loose weight?
6 minutes long!!!
</pre>

==Fun Facts==
{{checkstuffpage}}

===Explanations===

*[[Wikipedia:Des Moines|Des Moines]] is the capital of [[Wikipedia:Iowa|Iowa]].
*Strong Bad's opening intro is similar to one of the many songs schoolgirls often chant while jumping rope.
*"Tejas" ("TEH-has") is an accepted Spanish spelling and pronunciation of [[Wikipedia:Texas|Texas]] (Strong Bad has also used this pronunciation facetiously in [[boring (really)]] and [[property of ones]]).

===Remarks===

*This is the first time we see Strong Bad perspire, thus giving us a better impression of his mask actually being more flesh-like.
*While Strong Bad may not be able to do push-ups, he was able to literally throw Homestar and [[The King of Town]] out of his house in [[secret identity]]. He was also able to knock Homestar senseless in [[car]] with what is assumed to be his off hand.
*This is another instance of The Paper not coming down normally, this time being shown coming out of what appears to be an [http://skylab.org/~chugga/pictures/forsale/epson.JPG Epson L-1000] [[Wikipedia:Dot matrix printer|dot matrix printer]]. The first time The Paper appeared out of a printer was in [[Email Processing Room]].
*The "1:00" part of the scoreboard doesn't have a screen - it just appears on the surface.
*The Gymnasium's mat is blue in this e-mail. However, in [[montage]], the mat was red.

===Goofs===

*Marzipan's scissors do not close properly; their handles touch before the blades run past each other.

===Inside References===

*The score counter going negative refers to an Easter egg in [[montage]].
*Strong Bad locking The Cheat in the dryer is a reference to [[2 years]].
*This is another appearance of the [[BMW Lighter]].
*The phrase "[[All up ons]]" originated in [[suntan]].
*This is another appearance of [[Preeeeow]], the [[Wikipedia:Onomatopoeia|onomatopoeia]] describing The Paper's sound effect.
*Homestar's "back in the wash" line mirrors his dance in [[Halloween Potion-ma-jig]].
*Bubs mentioned his own "lady fans" in [[the process]].
*The music playing during Homestar's excersise video is the opening of [[i think i have a chance with this guy]] off Strong Bad Sings and Other Type Hits

===Real-World References===

*The soap-opera-type comic pokes fun at dramatic comics that are meant to be taken seriously. Common examples include Mary Worth and [[Wikipedia:Rex Morgan, M.D.|Rex Morgan, M.D.]], which are found in many newspaper Funny Pages.
**The panel with the [[Wikipedia:sea turtle|sea turtle]] is a reference to the drama/information comic strip [[Wikipedia:Mark Trail|Mark Trail]].
*The organ music that accompanies the comic hearkens back to the [[Wikipedia:Soap opera#"Soap music"|soundtracks]] of the radio and early television soap operas of the 1920s through the 1970s. They would almost always consist of a solo organ playing melodramatic mood music.
*"Wretched Simmons" is a reference to fitness guru [[Wikipedia:Richard Simmons|Richard Simmons]].
*The [[Wikipedia:Iron Sheik|Iron Sheik]] is a wrestler, and a former [[Wikipedia:World Wrestling Federation|WWF]] [[Wikipedia:List_of_WWE_Champions|Champion]] in the 1980s.
*Strong Bad saying, "I'm gonna go ahead and need you to..." is very similar to the catchphrase of boss Bill Lumbergh in the film [[Wikipedia:Office Space|Office Space]]: "I'm gonna need you to go ahead and come in tomorrow..."
*Homestar's "buttweesimo" is probably a reference to [http://www.bizbyjake.com/index_flash.html Jake Steinfeld], the founder of [http://www.bodybyjake.com Body By Jake], who frequently mentions "working the ol' buttisimo" in his infomercials and books.
**The Italian suffix [http://italian.about.com/library/fare/blfare131a.htm -issimo] is used as a [[Wikipedia:Superlative|superlative]]. Taken literally, "buttissimo" or "buttweesimo" would mean "the most butt", which could further be interpreted as "the largest butt".
*"Tweesercize" is a reference to [[Wikipedia:Jazzercise|Jazzercise]], a popular exercise program that combines jazz dance with aerobic workouts. Homestar's outfit (particularly the leg-warmers) more specifically represents a fitness style popular in the 80s.

==External Links==

{{sbemailextlinks|147|7278}}
{{Strong Bad Email}}

lady fan

Neuromancer6 — Thu, 09 Mar 2006 01:16:26 GMT

Neuromancer6: /* Explanations */

lady fan

Neuromancer6 — Thu, 09 Mar 2006 01:15:42 GMT

Neuromancer6: /* Explanations */

{{sbenav|147|pop-up|some kinda robot}}
[[Image:Sbemail147.PNG|thumb|"Twees it out!"]]

Strong Bad tries to impress an emailer's new lady fan.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|Homestar Runner}}, {{Film|The Cheat}}, {{Film|Marzipan}}

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[Gymnasium]], [[Strong Bad's Laundry Room]], [[Marzipan's House]]

{{Comp|Lappy 486}}

'''Date:''' March 6, 2006

'''Running Time:''' 3:29

'''Page Title:''' Lappy 486

==Transcript==

'''STRONG BAD:''' How many emails can you check? Five, twelve, seven, shut up.

''{reading}''

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: extra cool</div>
Dear Strong Bad,<br />
My new lady fan does not like you so much. Should I<br />
just call it quits now or can you do something extra special<br />
cool to impress her?<br />
Buck Webb<br />
Houston, Tejas
</blockquote>

''{Strong Bad reads "Houston" as "Hooston".}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Buck Webb? You sound like one of those boring soap-opera comic strips from the, ''{stops typing}'' quote-un-quote, ''{resumes typing}'' "funny" pages.

''{An example of a boring soap-opera comic pops up. It is titled "Buck Webb, Extraordinaire". Music begins playing. When characters talk, speech balloons appear.}''

'''BUCK:''' I'm afraid it's Splittsville for us, Lady Fan... if you don't take a shine to Strong Bad!

'''LADY FAN:''' ''{drippy speech balloon}'' Oh, Buck...

''{Cut to the next panel. Lady fan is holding a pistol up to Buck.}''

'''LADY FAN:''' I'll give Strong Bad a chance. In fact...

''{Cut to next panel, of a turtle in a pool, with the caption "Sea turtles eat a wide variety of food".}''

'''LADY FAN:''' ... I think I'm falling for him. Like, big time.

'''BUCK:''' C'mon, baby. Stay with me.

''{Next panel. Buck is holding a yoga DVD.}''

'''BUCK:''' I'll buy you a new yoga DVD!!

''{Next panel. Lady fan is crying and there is a caption "Back in Des Moines..."}''

'''LADY FAN:''' I'll... think about it!!!!

''{Cut away from the comic. The Lappy's screen has been cleared.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' We both know who she's gonna choose, Buck. Is that what you want? But hey, you asked for it. And as you know, when people send me stupid emails, I'm obligated by law to do what they say. So, extra special cool coming right up!

''{Cut to a gymnasium.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Nothing's more E-S-C than one-handed push-ups. Coupla these bad boys oughta do the trick! Here-a I-a go-a!

''{Strong Bad attempts to do a one-handed push-up, but falls down. The scoreboard buzzes and turns to -1.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, did I say "one-handed push-ups"? Those things are lame. Real men play two-handed push-ups! We'll start with fifty and see how we feel. Here-sa I-sa go-sa!

''{Strong Bad attempts to do a two-handed push up. Beads of sweat appear on his forehead, but he is unable to lift himself off the ground. The scoreboard buzzes and turns to -51.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' I can't do ONE push up?! I used to be able to do like four. Maybe I need to start workin' out.

''{Homestar Runner appears dressed as an aerobics instructor, wearing a leotard and legwarmers.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Boy, I'll say you do. One, two, and flex your pecs! Give it eight more! And five! Twees it out! C'mon y'all! Just twees it out!

'''STRONG BAD:''' Twees it out?

''{Homestar turns around to show Strong Bad his rear. Strong Bad looks away and blocks the image with his hand.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Your buttweesimo! We're gonna mold that twees into the Iron Sheik!

''{Homestar looks toward Strong Bad's "twees". Strong Bad replies by covering it with both hands.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Just six more now! Eight and four! Shake it freely, twees it out!

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, cool. I'm gonna go ahead and need you to never say "twees it out" ever again.

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' You're doing great! Now shoulders down! One and two...

''{Strong Bad walks towards the viewer. Homestar continues to stretch in the background.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' What'll really impress your lady fan is a cute, fluffy The Cheat—

''{Scene changes to the laundry room.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Fresh from the dryer!

''{Strong Bad opens the dryer, revealing a fluffy The Cheat.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Awww, look at him! All cottony soft...

''{Strong Bad tries to pet The Cheat but is shocked by static electricity.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' AHHHH! Jeez, use a dryer sheet, man.

''{The Cheat starts turning green and his The Cheat noises turn queasy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Uh oh, this is not looking extra special cool.

''{Strong Bad closes the dryer door just as The Cheat throws up.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Don't worry, little buddy. We'll just throw you back in the wash.

''{Some vomit runs out the corner of the dryer door. Homestar returns, still in his work-out uniform.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Back in the wash. Come on, come on! Twees it, twees it, zabaradoo!

'''STRONG BAD:''' Get it out of here, Wretched Simmons! I'm trying to get some girl to like some guy I don't know!

''{Homestar bobs up and down twice more. Scene changes to Strong Bad and Marzipan sitting at a table with a "CAT MESS" kitty litter bag, pie pan with some kitty litter in it, a glue gun, envelopes, and scissors.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' One thing I definitely know about lady fans is that they all like crappy arts and crafts projects.

'''MARZIPAN:''' Today we're going to make a real creative centerpiece out of junk mail and kitty litter.

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sarcastically}'' Sounds heavenly...

'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{picks up an envelope and begins to cut it with the scissors}'' Now first of all I want you to take your snip-sniparooskies-- and that's what we call our scissors...

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{overlapping, uninterested}'' Uh-huh...

'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{cut to a closeup of the envelope}'' ...and then just a little crinkle cut right here on the northern edge...

''{Cut back to wide shot. Marzipan becomes angry at Strong Bad.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' UGH! Never mind! What the lady fans really want is some ''{high-pitched echo-y screaming}'' PYROTECHNICS!!!

''{Strong Bad throws the BMW Lighter onto the table, causing multiple explosions that turn everything to ashes, including Marzipan's hair. The ashen remains of the "CAT MESS" bag collapse.}''

'''MARZIPAN:''' Strong Bad, you're a horse's twees.

''{The remains of the glue gun collapse as well. Cut back to the Lappy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' There you have it, Buck. Oh wait...

''{Changes to comic strip version of Strong Bad talking to Buck.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' There you have it, Buck! If that floozy's not all up ons after that, you gotta drop her like a trig class, see??!!??!

''{Next panel, solo shot of Buck.}''

'''BUCK:''' Tight, Strong Bad. Real tight.

''{Next panel, silhouettes of Strong Bad and Buck looking at work-out Homestar.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' That's right. Keep that twees real tight. Flex it, flex it, shoulder stance.

''{Next panel, a comic book version of [[The Paper]]. The Paper noise is heard. A caption reads "PREEEOW!!"}''

==Easter Eggs==

*Click the scoreboard after Strong Bad calls one-handed push-ups lame to see a blue bumper sticker that says "Real Men Play <span style="text-decoration: underline;">''Two Handed''</span> Push-ups!!" with a small image of a soccer ball in the corner.
*At the end, click on the printer's green button to see Homestar's weight-loss DVD, titled "Tweesercize". The box reads:
<pre>
Tweesercize with Homestar Runner
Loose weight?
6 minutes long!!!
</pre>

==Fun Facts==
{{checkstuffpage}}

===Explanations===

*[[Wikipedia:Des Moines|Des Moines]] is the capital of [[Wikipedia:Iowa|Iowa]].
*Strong Bad's opening intro is similar to one of the many songs schoolgirls often chant while jumping rope.
*"Tejas" ("TEH-has") is an accepted Spanish spelling and pronunciation of [[Wikipedia:Texas|Texas]]. (Strong Bad has also used this pronunciation facetiously in [[boring (really)]] and [[property of ones]]).

===Remarks===

*This is the first time we see Strong Bad perspire, thus giving us a better impression of his mask actually being more flesh-like.
*While Strong Bad may not be able to do push-ups, he was able to literally throw Homestar and [[The King of Town]] out of his house in [[secret identity]]. He was also able to knock Homestar senseless in [[car]] with what is assumed to be his off hand.
*This is another instance of The Paper not coming down normally, this time being shown coming out of what appears to be an [http://skylab.org/~chugga/pictures/forsale/epson.JPG Epson L-1000] [[Wikipedia:Dot matrix printer|dot matrix printer]]. The first time The Paper appeared out of a printer was in [[Email Processing Room]].
*The "1:00" part of the scoreboard doesn't have a screen - it just appears on the surface.
*The Gymnasium's mat is blue in this e-mail. However, in [[montage]], the mat was red.

===Goofs===

*Marzipan's scissors do not close properly; their handles touch before the blades run past each other.

===Inside References===

*The score counter going negative refers to an Easter egg in [[montage]].
*Strong Bad locking The Cheat in the dryer is a reference to [[2 years]].
*This is another appearance of the [[BMW Lighter]].
*The phrase "[[All up ons]]" originated in [[suntan]].
*This is another appearance of [[Preeeeow]], the [[Wikipedia:Onomatopoeia|onomatopoeia]] describing The Paper's sound effect.
*Homestar's "back in the wash" line mirrors his dance in [[Halloween Potion-ma-jig]].
*Bubs mentioned his own "lady fans" in [[the process]].
*The music playing during Homestar's excersise video is the opening of [[i think i have a chance with this guy]] off Strong Bad Sings and Other Type Hits

===Real-World References===

*The soap-opera-type comic pokes fun at dramatic comics that are meant to be taken seriously. Common examples include Mary Worth and [[Wikipedia:Rex Morgan, M.D.|Rex Morgan, M.D.]], which are found in many newspaper Funny Pages.
**The panel with the [[Wikipedia:sea turtle|sea turtle]] is a reference to the drama/information comic strip [[Wikipedia:Mark Trail|Mark Trail]].
*The organ music that accompanies the comic hearkens back to the [[Wikipedia:Soap opera#"Soap music"|soundtracks]] of the radio and early television soap operas of the 1920s through the 1970s. They would almost always consist of a solo organ playing melodramatic mood music.
*"Wretched Simmons" is a reference to fitness guru [[Wikipedia:Richard Simmons|Richard Simmons]].
*The [[Wikipedia:Iron Sheik|Iron Sheik]] is a wrestler, and a former [[Wikipedia:World Wrestling Federation|WWF]] [[Wikipedia:List_of_WWE_Champions|Champion]] in the 1980s.
*Strong Bad saying, "I'm gonna go ahead and need you to..." is very similar to the catchphrase of boss Bill Lumbergh in the film [[Wikipedia:Office Space|Office Space]]: "I'm gonna need you to go ahead and come in tomorrow..."
*Homestar's "buttweesimo" is probably a reference to [http://www.bizbyjake.com/index_flash.html Jake Steinfeld], the founder of [http://www.bodybyjake.com Body By Jake], who frequently mentions "working the ol' buttisimo" in his infomercials and books.
**The Italian suffix [http://italian.about.com/library/fare/blfare131a.htm -issimo] is used as a [[Wikipedia:Superlative|superlative]]. Taken literally, "buttissimo" or "buttweesimo" would mean "the most butt", which could further be interpreted as "the largest butt".
*"Tweesercize" is a reference to [[Wikipedia:Jazzercise|Jazzercise]], a popular exercise program that combines jazz dance with aerobic workouts. Homestar's outfit (particularly the leg-warmers) more specifically represents a fitness style popular in the 80s.

==External Links==

{{sbemailextlinks|147|7278}}
{{Strong Bad Email}}