Homestar Runner Wiki - User contributions [en]

DNA Evidence

Zweielbogen — Fri, 18 May 2007 19:09:45 GMT

Zweielbogen: /* Explanations */

{{toonnav|Big Toon|DNA|Date Nite|The King of Town DVD}}
[[Image:DNA Evidence.png|thumb|"...and that's why I believe the DNA evidence had been tampered with."]]

{{about|toon}} {{for|running gag|DNA Evidence (running gag)}}

Strong Sad attempts to solve the mystery of the [[DNA Evidence (running gag)|DNA Evidence]].

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Marzipan}}, {{Film|Homsar}}, {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|The Cheat}}, {{Film|Strong Sad}}, {{Film|Pom Pom}}, {{Film|Homestar Runner}}, {{Film|Bubs}}, {{Film|Coach Z}}, [[Strong Badman]] (Easter egg)

'''Places:''' [[The Field]], [[Strong Badia]], [[The Movie Theater]], [[Marzipan's House]], [[The Office]], [[Strong Sad's Room]], [[The Garage]], [[Bubs' Concession Stand]], [[Smoky Office]], [[Computer Room]], [[Coach Z's Locker Room]]

'''Date:''' Tuesday, May 15, 2007

'''Running Time:''' 5:35

'''Page Title:''' All your questions....sort of answered!!

==Transcript==
''{Yellow letters reading "Previously on HomestarRunner.com" on a black background zoom out slowly.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': ''{voiceover}'' Previously on HomestarRunner.com... ''{Pronounces "previously" with a short e}''

''{Fade to a scene from [[strong badathlon]], set in the field. Marzipan and Homsar are sitting around a wooden table with a pink and white tea set on it. Faint music and snapping noises can be heard in the background.}''

'''MARZIPAN''': And that's why I believe the DNA evidence had been tampered with.

''{The music continues. Cut to a clip from [[unnatural]] that takes place in Strong Badia. Strong Bad and The Cheat are seen sitting around a yellow table with a red and black tea set on it.}''

'''STRONG BAD''': And that's when I tampered with the DNA evidence!

''{The music continues. Cut to inside the movie theater, from [[the movies]]. Strong Sad is sitting in a seat next to Pom Pom.}''

'''MOVIE''': ''{voiceover}'' The DNA evidence was gone!

''{The music continues. Cut to an excerpt of [[your funeral]], inside Marzipan's house. Strong Bad's statue of him wrestling a cougar is sitting by a couch with Homestar's trench coat and bowler hat hung on it. Homestar is standing in the middle of the room. Marzipan leans her head into the scene}''

'''MARZIPAN''': Did you find the DNA evidence?

''{The music continues. Cut to the office, as seen in [[from work]]. Strong Bad is sitting at his computer. Pom Pom is halfway off the screen. He leaves followed by Homestar.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': I'll have that DNA evidence on your desk by five.

''{The music continues. Cut to the Easter Egg from [[rough copy]], inside Marzipan's house. Homestar is sitting on the couch. The lights are off.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': DNA evidence.

''{The music continues. A guitar comes in to the music and begins playing a jazzy tune. Cut to a purple background with "The DNA Evidence" written in block letters. The camera pans down to Strong Sad. Mumbling is heard in the background. Strong Sad has a Easel on his right with "DNA Evidence" written across the top and a diagram of different characters and links between them.}''

'''STRONG SAD''': Attention! Your attention please!

''{cut to Homsar with his mouth open on the other side of the room. Homsar gulps and closes his mouth. The mumbling stops. Cut back to Strong Sad.}''

'''STRONG SAD''': After extensive investigation, I'm ready to release ''{raises his right hand and turns his head toward the chart}'' my findings. I first spoke with...

''{Cut to Marzipan in her kitchen}''

'''STRONG SAD''': Marzipan. ''{Pronounces it "Marcy-pon"}''

'''MARZIPAN''': Well, it all started several weeks ago.

''{Cut to Marzipan's living room. Marzipan is walking in wearing a toga. There are muddy footprints on the carpet.}''

'''MARZIPAN''': ''{voiceover}'' I came home from my toga-yoga class to find that my house had been broken into and that the culprit had left behind some DNA evidence.

''{As she walks, the couch moves onto the screen. The cushions are disarranged and the "Thank You" picture on the wall is crooked. The muddy prints stop at the couch. Something made of glass is just visible behind one of the cushions. Cut to Strong Sad holding a pen and his notebook in Marzipan's kitchen.}''

'''STRONG SAD''': What was it? Hair particles? Skin flakes? Blood crispies?

''{Cut back to toga Marzipan in front of ransacked couch.}

'''MARZIPAN''': ''{voiceover}'' No, it was a little test tube just full of green DNA evidence.

''{As she says this, toga Marzipan pulls out a test tube filled with green liquid from the couch. Cut to close up of Marzipan inspecting the tube. Cut back to Strong Sad}''

'''STRONG SAD''': Oh. Just like in the movies. ''{he writes something down}''

''{Cut to front of Marzipan's house, toga Marzipan is walking out holding the test tube.}''

'''MARZIPAN''': ''{voiceover}'' So I immediately took it to Bubs to be analyzed...

''{Cut back to Marzipan in her kitchen}''

'''MARZIPAN''': ...and ''this'' ''{holds up a tube filled with purple liquid and stamped "TAMPERED WITH!"}'' is all I got back.

''{Right scroll to Bubs in the garage.}''

'''BUBS''': Well, it all started a few weeks ago. I just got finished teaching my...

''{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand. Bubs is walking inside wearing a toga.}

'''BUBS''': ''{voiceover}'' ...toga-yoga class ''{Bubs takes off toga}'' when old-maid Marzipan showed up.

''{Toga Marzipan walks on to the screen.}''

'''MARZIPAN''': Hey, Bubs. Can you analyze this ''{she holds up the test tube}'' DNA evidence for me?

''{Cut to inside of stand. Bubs is silhouetted on the left.}''

'''BUBS''': Sure thing! But it's gonna cost you an arm and a leg.

'''MARZIPAN''': Not a problem.

''{Marzipan hands over the test tube to Bubs. Cut to Strong Sad in the garage.}''

'''STRONG SAD''': So, what did you find out when you analyzed it?

''{Cut back to Bubs}''

'''BUBS''': Oh, ''that''. Well, next thing I know...

''{Cut to inside of stand with silhouette}''

'''BUBS''': ''{voiceover}'' ...Strong Bad shows up.

''{Strong Bad pops up from under the counter.}''

'''STRONG BAD''': Hey, Bubs. One green apple snow cone please.

'''BUBS''': Coming right up!

''{Bubs moves out of view. Cut to shelf with four push-spout jars labeled "Red", "Purple", "Green Apple", and "Blue". All contain various levels of said color liquid, except for the "Green Apple", which has a hole in the bottom. Some soft music begins to play. Scene zooms out slowly.}''

'''BUBS''': Ooh. Er.

''{Cut to bubs holding an unflavored snow cone in one hand and the evidence in the other.}''

'''BUBS''': Uh. ''{Looks at snow cone.}'' Blaaaah. ''{Looks at evidence.}''

''{Bubs pours the evidence over the snow cone. Music stops. Cut to outside of stand}''

'''BUBS''': Here ya go. One... ''{turns head to the side}'' cough, cough... ''{looks back at Strong Bad}'' green apple snow cone.

''{Bubs hands the cone over to Strong Bad. Cut to Strong Sad, writing something down. He stops and looks up.}''

'''STRONG SAD''': You served the DNA in a snow cone?!

''{Cut to Bubs}''

'''BUBS''': And it sold ''{raises arm}'' like hotcake!

''{Bottom scroll to the smoky office. Strong Bad is sitting at the desk leaning back in his chair. He has the cool shades on, and there is a lit cigarette in the ash tray on the desk.}''

'''STRONG BAD''': Yeah, I bought the DNA snow cone.

''{Cut to Strong Sad in the smoky office, writing with the pad and pen.}''

'''STRONG SAD''': You ''knew'' it had the DNA evidence in it?!

''{Cut back to Strong Bad}''

'''STRONG BAD''': Well, yeah.

''{Cut to side of Bubs' Concession Stand. Strong Bad is standing there wearing his shades. Marzipan walks up wearing a toga.}''

'''STRONG BAD''': ''{voiceover}'' I overheard that Marzipan had some DNA evidence, and I figured I could use it to continue my genetic experiments on The Cheat.

''{As he says this, Strong Bad leans to the right. Marzipan holds up the tube and talks to Bubs. Strong Bad rubs his hands together and jumps off toward the back of the stand. Cut to shelf with snow cone flavoring. Green Apple is relatively full.}

'''STRONG BAD''': ''{voiceover}'' So I sprung into action.

''{Strong Bad appears and punctures the bottom of the Green Apple container with a pencil before ducking down again. The liquid pours out. Cut to inside view. Soft music starts again.}''

'''STRONG BAD''': Bubs-keep, one green-app snoke, on the rocks. And keep it rusty.

''{Cut back to Strong Bad in office.}''

'''STRONG BAD''': By the time I got home, it was all melted.

''{Cut to computer room. Strong Bad walks in from the right, still wearing the shades, and carrying a glass of green liquid.}''

'''STRONG BAD''': ''{voiceover}'' So I put it in a glass on my desk and went downstairs ''{Strong Bad puts the glass on the desk and walks offscreen}'' to do one of my high-impact toga-yoga videos.

''{Cut back to office}''

'''STRONG BAD''': And that's the last I saw of it.

''{Cut to Strong Sad, writing something down.}''

'''STRONG SAD''': You left it on your desk, eh? ''{he looks up}''

''{Right scroll to Homestar in his living room.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': Yeah, I swung by Strong Bad's the other day. ''{frowns}'' The old lady had me out looking for some kind of ''{brightens up}'' Dan evidence.

''{Cut to computer room. The glass is still on the desk. Homestar walks on from the right, wearing a hat and trenchcoat.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': Strong Bad! I'm wearing a hat and trenchcoat! ''{Notices the glass}'' Ooh! A tall, cool glass of Mountain Dwa.

''{Cut to close-up}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': Don't mind if I dwa! ''{He drinks the evidence.}'' Glug, glug, glug.

''{After a short pause, Homestar spits it out. Cut to dripping The Cheat.}''

'''THE CHEAT''': ''{Angry The Cheat noises.}''

''{Cut back to Homestar}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': Oh, sorry, The Cheat. That stuff tasted like dwa-dwa.

''{Cut back to The Cheat wiping himself off with a white towel.}''

'''THE CHEAT''': ''{The Cheat noises.}''

''{Cut to Strong Sad, writing something down}''

'''STRONG SAD''': So he wiped his face off with a gross towel, eh? ''{he looks up}''

''{Right scroll to Coach Z in the locker room, looking upset.}''

'''COACH Z''': You figured it out, Strong Sad! My cover is blown! I am actually ''{Pats his chest and puts his hands on this hips. Heroic halo appears briefly around him, accompanied by a sound effect.}'' Damp Towel Man! ''{Raises hand to his mouth}'' And also his mild-mannered alter-ego, Dan Towelman.

''{Cut to Strong Sad}''

'''STRONG SAD''': Coach Z, no one's ever heard of those people.

''{Cut to Coach Z}''

'''COACH Z''': Damp Towel Man is a super hero. He collects damp towels from across the galaxy.

''{Cut to computer room, where a now green-spotted towel rests on the desk. Coach Z comes on from the left wearing a black mask and a towel tied on like a cape.}''

'''COACH Z''': Moist Molecules! A green-stained damp towel! The rarest and most powerful kind.

''{Cut to the office. A janitorial cart rolls onto the screen from the left, with the towel on it.}''

'''COACH Z''': ''{voiceover}'' So I took the towel to work the next day to see if it could clean up microwave lasagna stains.

''{Coach Z walks by with a vacuum cleaner and starts humming. Homestar shuffles by from the right, muttering to himself.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': Stupid DNA evi''dence''! Where am I supposed to find evi''dence'' by five o' clock?

''{Cut back to Coach Z in the locker room}''

'''COACH Z''': But when I got back to my cart, it was gone! I suspect it was my nemesis, ''{shakes his fist}'' Dry Ragamuffin! Or his mild-mannered alter-ego, Dreyfus Ragámoofin. ''{Pronounced "rah-GAH-moo-fin"}''

''{Cut back to Strong Sad}''

'''STRONG SAD''' Coach Z, you have a real sucky imagination.

''{Cut back to Coach Z.}''

'''COACH Z''': That I do, my boy, that I do. Though I ''did'' notice that...

''{Cut to the office, close up of muddy boots. Strong Bad can be seen on the right sitting at his desk. Coach Z's vacuum is moving back and forth. Scene zooms in slowly.}''

'''COACH Z''': ''{voiceover}'' ...Strong Bad had some muddy boots sitting under his kyorbicle.

''{Cut back to Coach Z in locker room.}''

'''COACH Z''': I didn't find that at ''all'' suspicious.

''{Bottom scroll to the smoky office.}''

'''STRONG BAD''': First of all, those were ''not'' muddy. I'd been stomping around in pecan pie all morning. Marzipan's allergic to pecans, you know.

''{Cut to Strong Sad}''

'''STRONG SAD''': So it was ''your'' DNA evidence!

''{Cut back to Strong Bad.}''

'''STRONG BAD''': Uhh, no. It was yours.

''{Cut to Strong Sad, whose eyes are now bugging out. Scene zooms in rapidly.}''

'''STRONG SAD''': ''Whaaaaaat?!''

''{Cut back to Strong Bad}''

'''STRONG BAD''': Yeah, I was just swiping the change from...

''{Cut to Marzipan's living room, Strong Bad, wearing the "muddy" boots, has the test tube in the back of his pants, and is on the couch, pulling coins from it.}''

'''STRONG BAD''': ...Marzipan's couch cushions. And I must've accidentally dropped it.

''{The test tube pops out of Strong Bad's pants and lands on the couch. Cut back to Strong Bad in smoky office.}''

'''STRONG BAD''': Man, I was ''{holds up hand with thumb close to the main part of the glove}'' ''this'' close to finding out if you're really part elephant or part hippo or something.

''{Cut to angry Strong Sad}''

'''STRONG SAD''': I am ''not''!

''{Cut back to Strong Bad}''

'''STRONG BAD''': Well, now I guess we'll never know for sure. Now if you'll excuse me. ''{Dangeresque music starts}'' The stairs of this building have been burned down by termites. So it looks like I'm gonna have to jump!

''{Strong Bad jumps off the screen. Fade to black. Fade in to close-up of the bottom of Strong Sad's bed. Strong Sad pulls a box from underneath it. The box contains a picture frame, a red birthday card with a drawing of Strong Bad on it, a roll of film, a snow globe, and a corked test tube of green liquid. Strong Sad grabs the test tube. Cut to close-up of Strong Sad smiling.}''

'''STRONG SAD''': Yes. The world will ''never'' know for sure. Oh-ho-ho-ho...

''{Cut closer}''

'''STRONG SAD''': ...Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho...

''{Cut closer and angled}''

'''STRONG SAD''': ...Ooh-hoo-ho-ho-ho-ho...

''{Cut even closer}''

'''STRONG SAD''': ...Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha...

''{Cut to Strong Bad stealing change from Marzipan's couch. Pan left to see Strong Sad peeking through the window}''

'''STRONG SAD''': ''{voiceover}'' ...Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo...

''{Cut to Marzipan giving the test tube to Bubs. Pan up to see Strong Sad on the roof.}''

'''STRONG SAD''': ''{voiceover}'' ...Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha Ah-ha-ha-ha...

''{Cut to Coach Z's cart. Strong Sad comes up from behind it and reaches for the towel.}''

'''STRONG SAD''': ''{voiceover}'' ...Hah-ha-ha-ha-ha...

''{Cut back to Strong Sad standing in his room, holding the test tube.}''

'''STRONG SAD''': ''{voiceover}'' ...Woo-ho-ho-ho...

''{Cut to wide angle view with Homsar standing next to Strong Sad.}''

'''STRONG SAD''': ...Ah-ha-ha-ha Woo-ha-ha—

''{Record screech. Strong Sad looks down and finally notices Homsar there.}''

'''STRONG SAD''': Oh. Hi. You're not gonna say anything, are you?

''{Cut to close-up of Homsar}''

'''HOMSAR''': DaAaAa, these Easter pants are getting ''way'' too tight. ''{His hat flies off his head on "pants", slides backwards on "way", and performs a backflip off his mouth on "too tight".}''

''{Two ascending notes play, accompanied by the screen turning black except for a small circle around Homsar's eyes. Fade to black. "THE END" appears on a purple background in block letters, zooming out slowly.}''

==Easter Eggs==
[[Image:Damp towel man.PNG|thumb|"Moist Molecules!"]]
*Click on the Z on Coach Z's medallion after he reveals that he's Damp Towel Man to see a Strong Badman comic.
*Click on the Z again in the scene he mentions Dry Ragamuffin to see another Strong Badman comic, starring a character that resembles Bubs.

==Fun Facts==

===Explanations===
*This cartoon is based on the [[DNA Evidence (running gag)|DNA Evidence running gag]] that appeared in six straight emails, beginning with [[strong badathlon]].
*"Old maid" is a term used to disparagingly describe an older, unmarried woman.
*"On the rocks" means to pour over ice, usually said when ordering an [[Alcohol|alcoholic]] beverage.
**Also, Strong Bad's ordering his snow cone "rusty" may be a reference to bar patrons ordering a martini "dirty," which means "with olive juice."
*[[Wikipedia:Ragamuffin|Ragamuffin]] is a term used to describe a child wearing shabby clothing.
*"Costing an arm and a leg" is an idiom used to convey an extremely high price.
*"Selling like hotcake[s]" means to sell very well.
*Strong Sad's pronunciation of Marzipan's name is a very close approximation to the [[wikipedia:German language|German]] pronunciation of the word. (The spelling of ''marzipan'' originates in the German language.)

===Trivia===
*The text on the [[Lappy 486]] reads:
<blockquote class="email" style="background-image:none">
Hi. Yeah, go ahead and very safely enter most of your 
credit card numbers onto this Lappy. It will safen it all 
out. 
 
Thanks, 
The Strong Badagement</blockquote>
*The [[Floppy Disk Container]] reads "[[Floppy Disk Container#3DFX drivers|3DFX drivers]]".
*The bottle of cleaning fluid on Coach Z's Janitator car is labelled "DANG!"

===Remarks===
*Strong Sad is able to write in his notebook without any problems, but in [[rough copy]], he had trouble writing a mere sentence on a single page of the same notebook.
*The puncture that Strong Bad makes is well above the bottom of the green apple bottle, but all the liquid leaks out anyway.
*Homestar's trenchcoat seems to be unaffected by gravity, as it remains stiff and straight even as he bends over.
*Strong Sad writes [[Left Handedness|left-handed]] for the entire toon except when interviewing Coach Z where the pen is in his right hand. He is right handed in [[rough copy]].

===Goofs===
*The smoke from the office only wafts in the first few shots before Strong Bad speaks his account of what happened at Bubs' Concession Stand.
*There are footprints leading to the couch, but there is no trail away from the couch.

===Fixed Goofs===
*When this toon was first released, when Marzipan was walking up to Bubs' Concession Stand, she was not wearing her toga. This was fixed less than an hour after the toon was released.

===Inside References===
*This is another mention of [[Mountain Dew]].
*Homestar's mispronunciation of DNA, and Coach Z's "mild mannered alter-ego" are references to [[Dan]].
**Furthermore, Coach Z's alter-ego's last name is an example of [["Man" pronounced as "m'n"]].
*The box Strong Sad pulls the DNA Evidence out of in the last scene is from [[The Secrets That I Keep]].
*Strong Bad's glasses, the line "Looks like I'm gonna have to jump!", and the background music in the respective scenes are from the [[Dangeresque (film series)|Dangeresque]] series of films.
*Marzipan's response to the cost of "an arm and a leg" and the way the arm of Homestar's coat moves as he takes a drink are references to their [[lack of visible arms]] and, in her case, legs.
*Homsar mentions [[Pants|pants]].
*This is yet another instance of both [[Strong Bad Smiling|Strong Bad]] and [[Strong Sad smiling]].
*Coach Z's janitor cart reads "JANITATOR", similar to [[Trogdor|Trogdor the Burninator]].
*The vacuum cleaner and Coach Z's line about cleaning up lasagna are references to [[Sbemail 169 Deleted Scene]].
*Strong Bad's belief that Strong Sad may be part elephant or part hippo stems from Strong Sad's [[soolnds]].
*The Cheat was seen wet before in [[bottom 10]].



===Real-World References===
*The entire structure of the toon, with a detective interviewing several people when he ultimately is the culprit, is a nod to [[wikipedia:Film noir|film noir]], a style of American film that peaked in the late 1940s and early 1950s.


== External Links ==
*[[HR:DNA.html|watch "DNA Evidence"]]
*[[HR:DNA.swf|view the Flash file for "DNA Evidence"]]
*[[Forum:11443|forum thread re: DNA Evidence]]

{{subtitlesLinks|dna}}

[[Category:Toons]]

underlings

Zweielbogen — Wed, 09 May 2007 18:52:16 GMT

Zweielbogen: /* Remarks */

{{sbenav|171}}
[[Image:Coach Z suit sludge underlings.png|thumb|"Your tiny bathing suit demeans us all!"]]
Strong Bad explains how to tell others about embarrassing social mistakes.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|Strong Sad}}, {{Film|Strong Mad}}, {{Film|Coach Z}}, {{Film|Homestar Runner}}

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[Bathroom of the Brothers Strong]], [[Strong Sad's Room]], [[Swimming Pool]], [[The Field]], [[Strong Bad's Basement]] (Easter egg)

{{Comp|Lappy 486}}

'''Date:''' Monday, May 7, 2007

'''Running Time:''' 3:15

'''Page Title:''' Lappy 486

==Transcript==
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' My email song! Where would I be without my email song? ''{brings up the email}''

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Handling Smelly Underling?</div>
Dear Strong Bad, 
I am a manager and I have been told I must talk to one 
of my underlings about their stench. As the foremost 
expert in dealing with smelly underlings, I ask you, what is 
the best way to go about this? I wish to do this with 
some tact & professionalism. 
Sincerely, 
PlasticDiverGuy 
Dartmouth, Nova Scotia
</blockquote>

''{Strong Bad pronounces each word in the greeting separately, with short deliberate pauses between them. He pronounces "Dartmouth" as two separate words, and "Scotia" phonetically as SKO-tee-uh.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Man, that show Nova is boring, but I'd watch a show called Dartmouth anyday. ''{clears screen}'' Now lemme tell ya PastyDeadGuy, you came to the right man. I've got so many underlings, I've had to deal with every nearly every awkward social situation under the awkward social sun. I'm an expoit! ''{clears screen}'' Firstly, nothing says tact and professionalism like sending a subtle hint with a hilarious novelty t-shirt. So in your situation, you could just start wearing a shirt that has like,

''{Cut to a blank T-shirt}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' —some kinda—

''{A scientist holding a test tube appears on the shirt.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' —science person on it, with a clothespin—

''{A clothespin appears on the scientist's nose.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' —on his nose, and underneath it says: "You Reek-A!"

''{"You Reek-A!" appears on the shirt. Cut back to the Lappy}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' That way, your smelly underling, or smunderling, can get the message from across the room, and you can safely stay out of stink's reach.

''{Cut to Strong Bad in the bathroom, reading a newspaper titled "Da News Papes". He looks up.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' You know, I think I'd probably watch a TV show called "Stink's Reach", too.

''{He looks back down. Cut back to the Lappy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Secondly, nothing says tact and professionalism like slowly revealing a sensitive topic to a friend or loved one—

''{Cut to Strong Sad, drawing on a piece of paper with a pencil.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' —with a clever connect-the-dots puzzle.

''{Cut to a closeup of the paper. It's an alligator wearing sunglasses, holding a sign that reads "WE'RE GOING TO NEED YOU TO FLUSH TWICE!". The connect-the-dots portion is only the rectangular outline of the sign. Strong Sad stops drawing.}''

'''STRONG SAD:''' What is he trying to say to me with this cryptic message? ''{taps the pencil twice on "cryptic"}''

''{Cut back to the Lappy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Furthermore, nothing says pact and trofesssionalism like breaking tough news to someone with a reverse sunburn—

''{Cut to the pool, slowly zooming in. A sunburned Strong Mad faces away from the pool, which Coach Z is in.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' —on your brother's giant, square, billboard-sized back!

''{Strong Mad removes his singlet. His back has "your tiny bathing suit demeans us ALL!" on it. Cut to a closeup.}''

'''COACH Z:''' ''{slowly}'' Your tiny bathing suit demeans us all.

''{Cut to Coach Z.}''

'''COACH Z:''' Aw, fine then! I'll take it orf!

''{He reaches underwater and pulls out a very small pink g-string. The water turns black around him, accompanied by an odd humming noise. Cut back to behind Strong Mad.}''

'''STRONG MAD:''' PUT IT BACK ON! PUT IT BACK ON!

''{Cut back to the Lappy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Lastly, nothing says tact and professionalism like a hidden message written in condiments.

''{Cut to a picnic. Homestar Runner is sitting at the table. Strong Bad is wearing an oven mitt and holding a plate with a hot dog with his right hand, and holding a bottle of ketchup in his left. Some ketchup has spilled on the ground. More hot dogs can be seen on a grill behind him.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Here ya go, chumpion!

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{taking the hot dog; something small and green is visible in his mouth.}'' Ooh! Thanks, grillmasta!

''{Cut to the picnic table as Homestar puts the hot dog down. It has "you've had that piece" written on it in ketchup.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' You've had that piece—

''{The camera pans to another hot dog, with "of cilantro" written on in mustard.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' —of cilantro—

''{The camera pans to a hamburger without its upper bun. "stuck between your teeth" is written in ketchup.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' —stuck between your teeth—

''{The camera pans yet again to a waffle with "since we ate at that mexican restaurant" with an arrow written in syrup.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' —since we ate at that Mexican restaurant—

''{The camera pans again to three pieces of sushi with "2" "wks" and "ago" written on them in wasabi.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' —two weeks ago.

''{Cut to a closeup of Homestar, who has a small piece of cilantro stuck in his mouth}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Two weeks?!... ''TEETH?!''

''{Cut to the Lappy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing, in a slightly high-pitched voice and in a forced manner}'' In conclusion, these are just some of the many things that nothing says tact and professionalism like. I hope you have enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. If elected class president, I can't promise you Coke in the water fountains, but I ''can'' promise a hard-worker that will make a difference. And try to get Mrs. Hardmaster fired.

''{He quickly clears the screen, while shaking his head.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing, speaking normally}'' Whoa! It's like I regressed back to the fifth grade there. And the golden days of the five-paragraph essay. Well, good luck with your smunderling, PranceyDirtGirl. I gotta get started making those 'You Reek-A' t-shirts. Those things are gonna be awesome!

''{[[The Paper]] comes down.}''

==Easter Eggs==
[[Image:Awkward Social Sun.png|thumb|Now including every awkward social situation!]]
*When Strong Bad types "awkward social sun", click that phrase to see an "Awkward Social Sun" CD.
*When Strong Bad first types "smunderling", click that word to see a description of this creature:
<blockquote>
<big>SMUNDERLING</big>
All Smundy wants to do is be your 
friend. He appears at office 
parties & in enchanted caverns 
at random. Very vulnerable to 
harsh truths and Discs of Healing.
FREQUENCY: Rare 
INTELLIGENCE: Low to middlin' 
ARMOR CLASS: +8
</blockquote>
*At the end, click "awesome" to see a clip of the Stink's Reach show.
:''{In Strong Bad's basement, looking at his TV. Music plays, and pull in slowly on a sign reading "You are now entering Stink's Reach", with stink lines drawn above it.}''
:'''NARRATOR:''' In a town called "Stink's Reach", no one's record is clean.
:'''ANNOUNCER 1:''' Tuesdays at 8:30.
:''{"Tuesdays @ 8:30" appears at the bottom of the screen, then cut through static to a screen reading "We now return to Dartmouth". The O in "Dartmouth" is a stylized mouth, with darts flying out of it.}''
:'''ANNOUNCER 2:''' We now return to Dartmouth.
:''{Cut to a shot of Strong Bad lying on the couch, with the TV going behind him.}''
:'''TV CHARACTER:''' Dartmouth! He's getting away!
:'''DARTMOUTH:''' Stand clear. I know what to do.
:''{Sounds are heard of someone retching, and a dart flying and hitting a piece of wood}''
:'''VILLAIN:''' Ow! Pointy!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{incomprehensible mumbles}'' Lost... Vikings! ''{more incomprehensible mumbles}''

==Fun Facts==
{{checkstuffpage}}
===Explanations===
*The [[wikipedia:Essay#The_five-paragraph_essay|five paragraph essay]] is comprised of an intro paragraph, three body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Essays of this type are often considered unacceptably short and simple after [[wikipedia:Middle school|middle school]].

===Trivia===
*The newspaper reads:
{| style="border-collapse: collapse; border: 3px solid #999"
| style="border-right: 3px solid #999; font-size: 2em; text-align: center; line-height: 1em; padding: 5px; font-family:Times New Roman,serif" | Back Pape
| style="border-left: 3px solid #999; font-size: 2em; text-align: center; line-height: 1em; padding: 5px; font-family:Times New Roman,serif" | Da NewsPapes
|-
| style="border-right: 3px solid #999; padding: 5px; font-family:Times New Roman,serif;font-size:120%" | A sports player signed a contract worth a bunch of money. "Whooey!" said the player's uncle. "I could buy a car with that much cashness."
| style="border-left: 3px solid #999; padding: 5px; font-family:Times New Roman,serif;font-size:120%" | Global relations set all types of box office records this weekend. Studio execs were encouraged by the turn -around. So was I.
|}
* This email is the first email since [[looking old]] not to mention [[DNA evidence]].
*After typing "And try to get Mrs. Hardmaster fired.", Strong Bad originally typed "for child abuse." just before clearing the screen. This was later removed for unknown reasons.

===Remarks===
[[Image:Connect the dots.PNG|thumb|A cryptic message]]
*Homestar seems to be surprised at the prospect of having teeth even though they were clearly visible in [[theme song]]. This could be explained if the moment in said email occurs in Strong Bad's imagination.
*Although Strong Bad appeared to dislike long emails in [[long pants]], this email contains 59 words, 3 words longer than the said email.
*In the easter egg, the left post of the "Stink's Reach" sign is in the middle of the road.
*The scientist on the "You Reek-A!" t-shirt has eyes that are used from Strong Sad's right eye.
*Some of the dots on Strong Sad's connect-the-dots puzzle are separated by the alligator's mouth and hands. Strong Sad doesn't connect the dots that are separated, and simply skips over them.
*In the "Toons" menu, the picture that appears on the TV when you move the mouse over the "underlings" button on News Stuff shows Homestar accepting a burger from Strongbad without cilantro hanging from his "teeth."

===Fixed Glitches===
*When the email was first released, at the end, the "I" at the beginning of "I gotta get started..." was clickable, but did not do anything. This was fixed a few hours after the email was released.

===Inside References===
*Strong Bad read [[Periodicals|Da NewsPapes]] while in the bathroom in [[candy product]].
*Strong Bad is holding a [[Quite Fancy 'Chup]] bottle (the label is obscured by his glove).
*Strong Bad refers to the emailer as "[[Prancing|Prancey]]".
*This is another instance of Strong Bad's [[Couch Mumbling|couch mumbling]].
*The smunderling's intelligence being "low to middlin" likely refers to [[Thy Dungeonman II]], in which the player would be asked if he or she wished to strike an enemy high, low, or middlin according to its name ([[Longrels, Hongrels, and Mongrels|'''h'''ongrel, '''l'''ongrel, or '''m'''ongrel]]).
*The smunderling's fact sheet in general is very similar to [[Jhonka]]'s from [[impression]].
*This is another appearance of [[oven mitts]].
*"Smunderling" and "chumpion" are both [[Portmanteaus]].

===Real-World References===
*[[Wikipedia:NOVA (TV series)|NOVA]] is a [[Wikipedia:PBS|PBS]] television series about science topics which premiered in 1974 and is still running to this day.
*[[Wikipedia:The Lost Vikings|The Lost Vikings]] is a side-scrolling puzzle/platform video game developed and released by Silicon & Synapse (now [[Wikipedia:Blizzard Entertainment|Blizzard Entertainment]]) in 1992.
*The information about the smunderling's frequency, intelligence and armor class refers to the way that [[Wikipedia:Dungeons & Dragons|Advanced Dungeons & Dragons]] monsters are described, like that previously used for the Jhonka.
*The "Awkward Social Sun" CD and particularly the hairstyle on its cover are a reference to [[Wikipedia:Emo (slang)|emo]] culture.
*Condiment messages were used to present the opening credits on [[Wikipedia:Napoleon Dynamite|Napoleon Dynamite]].

==External Links==
{{sbemailextlinks|171|11379}}

{{Strong Bad Email}}