2 emails

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Time waits for nobody.

Strong Bad Email #71

Jimmy from MN asks Strong Bad to do 2 emails. Then Dave Nienaber asks Strong Bad what he would do with a time machine.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Coach Z, Strong Mad, Bubs, Strong Sad, Old-Timey Strong Bad (Easter egg), The Sneak (Easter egg)

Places: Computer Room, Brothers' Strong Living Room

Computer: Compy 386

Date: April 28, 2003

Running Time: 2:26

Page Title: Compy 386!!



STRONG BAD: {singing} What do you get when you email Strong Bad? You get a world of hurt.


{Strong Bad temporarily stops reading and says, "Ooh! That's like Strong Bad gum!" after "double the fun," and reads "MN" as "Minini"}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Okay little Jimmy. I'll do two emails this week. {stops typing, long pause} Number two.


{Strong Bad draws out the "CH" in "Antioch" and pronounces "IL" as "Ill-annoy-us"}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Well Naber, I'd definitely travel ahead about 15 minutes to when all the ladies show up for my "2003 Ladies' Choice Awards." {a logo flashes on screen saying "Ladies' Choice Awards" and a little ditty of music plays} About 70 or 50 fine women will be showing up to vote on which one gets to dance with yours truly. But since I don't have a time machine, I'll just have to wait it out.

{After a few seconds, everything starts going in fast-forward. We only get brief glimpses of all the stuff that happens as Strong Bad forwards ahead, and we stop the fast-forward on a screen that's typed: "Now, On to the ladies!!!" Cut to Strong Bad, Coach Z, Strong Mad, Bubs, and Strong Sad awaiting the females, with balloons and banners and nametags. However, there are no ladies to be seen.}

STRONG BAD: I don't get it! Where could the ladies be?

BUBS: You said there'd be the ladies!

STRONG BAD: I know! I know! Maybe their bus flew off a bottomless cliff...and into, like...a bottomless pit. Strong Sad, did anybody call and say they weren't coming?

STRONG SAD: Oh yeah, I forgot—

STRONG BAD: Or mention anything about a bottomless pit?

STRONG SAD: Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. About a million ladies called while you were checking your email and said they'd be a few minutes late.

STRONG BAD: Oh, good! So their bus is okay.

STRONG SAD: No, I'm just kidding! But Homsar called and said he was a million ladies tall.

STRONG BAD: What?! Oh, this has gone from bad to worse!

COACH Z: Hey, guys, check it out! {puts a nametag on} I'm hot girl number 37!

STRONG BAD: Oh, Coach, don't do it! This is depressing enough as it is.

COACH Z: No, lookit me! I'm shakin' it to the left and to the right!

STRONG BAD: Auuuuuuuuuuugh! {starts walking off}

COACH Z: {humming} Doo doo duh DOO doo doo doo duh doo doo!


{The same ditty that played before plays again, except the caption this time is "No Ladies Showed Up!" Meanwhile, back at Compy...}

STRONG BAD: {typing} I'm sorry you had to see that. I shoulda played it safe and gone back in time to where I know I'm awesome. But, since I don't have a time machine I guess I'll just have to wait it out. {stops typing} Umm... {starts typing again} Backwards.

{The Paper comes down}

Easter Eggs

  • In the beginning when Strong Bad mentions "gum" you can click on the words, "double the fun" to see Strong Bad's new gum!
  • Before the "Fast Forward" you can click on "2003 Ladies' Choice Awards" to bring up the logo and play the music again.
  • At the end you can click on the word "Backwards" to see a mirror-image "Backwards" logo. The music also plays in reverse.
  • Also at the end you can click on the word "back" (as in "gone back in time") to see an Easter egg featuring Old-Timey Strong Bad and The Sneak.


{The egg begins in the Old-Timey era. Old-Timey Strong Bad is standing in front of a microphone. The background is standard Old-Timey fare.}
OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD: I'm no apothecary, but before you trek long and wide on the Muskeegee trail, don't forget to try Uncle Strong Bad's Flavor Taste Style Chewing Powders!
{Old-Timey Strong Bad holds up a tin of the stuff.}
OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD: Nothing else increases brain juice quite like it! Once again, that's {holds the tin to the camera} Strong Bad's Flavor Taste Style Chewing Powders. {pulls the tin back to normal view} Whisk away the worries!
{The Sneak enters from the right.}
OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD: {turns to The Sneak} How was that phraseology, The Sneak? Are your worries adequately whisked?
{The Sneak responds in typical The Sneak-fashion by wiggling his nose.}
OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD: Smashing! {pause} No, I mean... start smashing!
{The Sneak darts off-camera to the right, and the sound of glass shattering is heard.}
OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD: Yes! It's curtains for you, {shakes fist} ming vase!
{Cut to a closeup of the tin of Uncle Strong Bad's Flavor Taste Style Chewing Powders.}
OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD: Uncle Strong Bad makes good!
{The words, "Strong Bad Powdertory, St. Louis, MO" appear beneath the can.}
OLD-TIMEY STRONG BAD: {in a lower tone of voice and quicker than normal} Strong Bad Powdertory, Saint Louis Mo!

Fun Facts

Events During the Fast Forward

  • Strong Bad writes a BASIC program. He can code!

The screen fills with "STRONG BAD IS COOL!"

  • He is also seen with the drink from interview, a Thai iced tea.
  • Strong Bad plays with his Peanut Strong Bad he formed in action figure.
  • Strong Bad's computer screen shows the text "Wanna fight? Huh?" In response, Strong Bad punches it.
  • Strong Bad opens an email (his third today):
  • The above email gets
  • Strong Bad sticks a post-it note on his computer that says "Van Buren."
  • Strong Bad starts looking at the camera.
  • Strong Bad stands up in front of the computer.
  • Homestar Runner sits down and writes:
  • Strong Bad types
  • Strong Bad plays a game called "Pigs on Head," later made into an LCD game by Videlectrix. (He gets a Score of 1,200 on level 8.)
  • Strong Bad puts on a Sombrero
  • Strong Bad types, "Now, on to the ladies!!!"

The Nametags

Most start with "Hello, my name is hot girl #" Exceptions noted:

  • 48
  • v2.14
  • 4077 ("hot lips" instead of "hot girl")
  • 00
  • 18
  • 7 (no space between "hot" and "girl")
  • Sue
  • 40
  • 2
  • 8 (no space)
  • 13
  • X6
  • 37
  • 26c
  • 26


  • Strong Bad's Double Deuce-blemint Gum in the Easter egg (costing 25¢) has the slogan "It's light green!!!" and fine print reading "Strong Bad's Double Deuce-blemint Gum is the product of choice."


  • The third line in Strong Bad's BASIC program is unreachable because the second line will make the program display "Strong Bad is cool" an infinite number of times.
  • Before the screen changes back to Strong Bad at the Compy after the "Party," the Sign hung across the back wall in the party room falls off!
  • When you watch the Flash file, freeze the cartoon during the fast forward when Homestar comes and types about a time machine. While it is frozen, you can adjust the contrast and Homestar's reflection will be affected, unlike in anything and 50 emails.
  • The contrast buttons on the Compy work while it fast forwards.


  • When Strong Bad turns around to look at the camera during the fast forward, the reflection on the Compy still shows his face instead of the back of his head.
  • Strong Bad's reflection goes off the Compy's screen when he stands on the stool.
  • Homestar misspelled Game Boy (he typed it as "Gameboy"), which is properly spelled as two words.
  • During the fast forward, where the screen is filled with "Strong Bad is Cool", the text sometimes sticks out of the monitor.
  • During the fast forward, as Strong Bad takes a sip from his drink, there is no reflection of drink on the screen.

Inside References

Real-World References

  • Double Deuce-blemint Gum is based on Wrigley's Doublemint gum.
  • "Double the Strong Bad ... double the fun" is a reference to the old Doublemint gum slogan "double your pleasure, double your fun."
  • "Hot lips #4077" is a reference to the book, movie and TV show M*A*S*H. All chronicled life at the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital during the Korean War. Major Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan was a major character.

DVD Version

  • The gum and event logo Easter eggs are viewable using the angle button on your DVD remote.

External Links

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