4 Gregs

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This article is about the toon. For the squad of characters, see The Gregs.
Toon Category: Shorts
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"Not one, not two, not three, not five, four Gregs."

The Gregs go to a varsity football game.

Cast (in order of appearance): Science Fiction Greg, D N'D Greg, Open Source Greg, Japanese Culture Greg, Tompkins, Cheerleader, Short Girl, Mascot/Regular Greg, Color Guard Maiden, So and So, What's Her Face, The Ugly One, Strong Bad

Places: Football Stadium, Strong Bad's Room

Date: Monday, February 16, 2009

Running Time: 3:20

Page Title: I knew they'd come back to me...



{"4 Gregs" appears in the center of the screen.}


{The numbers 1, 2, 3, and 5 appear, and each number is crossed out over the next line.}

TEEN GIRL SQUAD VOICE: Not one, not two, not three, not five...

{"4 Gregs" appears again.}


{Science Fiction Greg appears, holding a bubbly-looking toy gun.}


{Science Fiction Greg holds up one finger. Cut to D N'D Greg holding a twenty-sided die.}


{D N'D Greg holds up two fingers. Cut to Open Source Greg holding a laptop.}

TEEN GIRL SQUAD VOICE: Open Source Greg! Three Greg!

{Open Source Greg holds up three fingers. Cut to Japanese Culture Greg, holding an anime-like action figure.}

TEEN GIRL SQUAD VOICE: Japanese Culture Greg, four Greg! {Japanese Culture Greg holds up four fingers.} Four Gregs!

{"4 Gregs" appears again. Cut to the four Gregs standing together.}

SCIENCE FICTION GREG: Shields up, everyone. I figured out what we're doing tonight, and it's not any of the stuff you're about to suggest.

D N'D GREG: Play some serious tabletop—

JAPANESE CULTURE GREG: Staring at vinyl figurines?

OPEN SOURCE GREG: Downloading several hours of—

ALL GREGS EXCEPT SCI-FI GREG: {disappointed} Oh.

SCIENCE FICTION GREG: Tonight, new Earthlings... tonight, we go... TO A VARSITY FOOTBALL GAME!

OTHER THREE GREGS: {gasp, with the word "Gasp!" drawn above them}

D N'D GREG: Into the dragon's lair?

{The text bubble remains the same but points to Japanese Culture Greg, with the word "Robotic" inserted into the sentence as he says it.}

JAPANESE CULTURE GREG: Into the robotic dragon's lair?

OPEN SOURCE GREG: Into the Apple store? {As he says "Apple", the text bubble has a "bite" taken out of it, and a leaf appears on it.}

SCIENCE FICTION GREG: That's right. It's the one time we can co-exist at the same social function with football players, but they will be powerless to ridicule and/or wedgie us!

D N'D GREG: Revenge is at hand!


JAPANESE CULTURE GREG: {his head suddenly looks extremely animeish} Otaku!

{Cut to the back of a football player wearing a jersey that reads "AT THE GAME", with "888" written below it. Then cut to a set of stands. All of the Gregs except Open Source Greg are visible.}

SCIENCE FICTION GREG: Here we are. In the middle of it all!

{Cut back to show that the three Gregs are sitting in the corner of the stands, and there is a huge radius around them where no one else is sitting; the stands are otherwise packed. There are 14:54 left on the clock, the Growlbacks have "000000" points, and the "Visitor" has 24 points.}


JAPANESE CULTURE GREG: How does football work again?

{Cut to a closeup of the Gregs.}

JAPANESE CULTURE GREG: Is it anything like drift racing?

SCIENCE FICTION GREG: Uh, I think there are some foots {said to rhyme with "loots"}... and uh... perchance a balls?

{Cut to a closeup of D N'D Greg. He's smiling and has sharp teeth. A scroll appears next to him, which he begins to read:}

D N'D GREG: The offensive team has four chances to advance the ball ten yards at a time with the objective being...

{D N'D Greg cuts off. The other two Gregs are visibly confused. D N'D Greg looks at them with annoyance. Crickets chirp.}

SCIENCE FICTION GREG: It's like I don't even know you anymore.

D N'D GREG: Fantasy football still counts as fantasy!

{Open Source Greg appears, holding a box of food.}

OPEN SOURCE GREG: Gentlemen, I've taken advantage in a security flaw in the concession stand mainframe and bit-torrented us some Sugar Daddys and hot dogs!

JAPANESE CULTURE GREG: But the concession stand is just some booster club okasan {the word in the text bubble is "moms" until he gets to it; his face returns to the "anime" style on that word alone} with a shoebox full of ones.

OPEN SOURCE GREG: Then who did I launch my denial of service attack against?

{Cut to a drawing of a computer screen. On the screen is a web browser viewing the page "www.tompkins.tv", which is for "Tompkins' Hot Lady Escort Service". Tompkins' face is in the middle of the screen. The page has been viewed "2.4" times.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: {in a high-pitched voice; the word appears across the screen as he says it} HAXXORED!!!

TOMPKINS: Ow! All my client!

{Cut back to the game. D N'D and Science Fiction Greg are in the background, as Cheerleader and a short bespectacled girl in braces walk by.}

CHEERLEADER: Didja hear when we walked through the seniors' section? That one boy only got BOTH my names wrong!

SHORT GIRL: You have been chosen.

SCIENCE FICTION GREG: Uh, Cheerleader, shouldn't you be out—

{Cut to a closeup of his mouth, showing misshapen teeth.}


{Cut back.}

SCIENCE FICTION GREG: —leading cheers?

CHEERLEADER: No, I'm more a cheerleader in the way I dress... and in the way I treat other girls.

SHORT GIRL: That's right.

CHEERLEADER: {smacks the short girl, yelling:} YOU DON'T SPEAK UNLESS SPOKEN TO!

{Cut to a ratty-looking mascot.}


{He does a cartwheel near an exasperated-looking color guard member.}


{Cut to D N'D Greg.}

D N'D GREG: That level 4 shambling Krenshar is attacking that slightly attractive, slightly overweight color guard maiden!

{He is then seen stomping on the mascot. The color guard member smirks lightly.}

MASCOT: Oh! Crap! Dang! Ribs! Oof!

{He takes off the mascot head.}

REGULAR GREG: Stop! It's just me, Regular Greg from AP Calculus!

D N'D GREG: Trying to take human form, eh? I'll not fall for your sorcery, shapeshifter!

{He continues stomping on Regular Greg. Cut to a hot dog with a face.}


{Cut to Science Fiction Greg.}

SCIENCE FICTION GREG: There's a... halph-thyme?

{Cut back to all four Gregs.}


{A bunch of football players crowd around the Gregs and chuckle to themselves. Cut to a scene of some underwear and jock straps flying around, with the words "EXPLiCiT WEDGiE!!" in the middle.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: {in a high-pitched voice} EXPLICIT WEDGIE!!

{Cut to the Teen Girl Squad. They've actually been the ones drawing the cartoon. They laugh as "HA HA HA HA"s move around above them.}

WHAT'S HER FACE: Those Gregs are such losers!

{Cut to the Gregs. They've actually been drawing the Teen Girl Squad drawing the cartoon.}

SCIENCE FICTION GREG: Hey! No way! Whats-Her-Face would totally come to my defense!

{Cut to the Teen Girl Squad, with Cheerleader drawing the previous scene.}

WHAT'S HER FACE: Ew! Don't put that! No I wouldn't!

{Cut to the Gregs, as D N'D Greg draws the previous scene.}

OPEN SOURCE GREG: Now make them have a pillow fight!

{Cut to the Teen Girl Squad.}

THE UGLY ONE: Make them play with action figures!

{Cut to the Gregs.}


{The Teen Girl Squad}

SO AND SO: So good!





{Cut to Strong Bad, drawing that last scene, falling over.}


{He weakly holds up one hand.}

STRONG BAD: It's... over?

{Cut to the "4 Gregs" screen.}


Fun Facts


  • Drift racing is a style of car racing originating in Japan where drivers slide or drift through corners at high speed.
  • Otaku is a Japanese word denoting a fan of something. Outside of Japan, it denotes specifically a fan of Japanese popular culture. While the term is frequently adopted enthusiastically by non-Japanese individuals like Japanese culture Greg, in Japan it has a considerably negative connotation.
  • Akihabara is a shopping district of Tokyo specializing in electronics, computers, and pop-culture goods.
  • "Okasan", properly romanized as "okāsan" or "okaasan", is a formal word for "mother" in Japanese.
  • A denial-of-service attack is an attempt to make a computer resource unavailable to its intended users and is often considered a crime.
  • BitTorrent is a peer-to-peer file sharing protocol used for sharing large amounts of data.
  • "Beating the spread" is a phrase in spread betting referring to whether the difference of the two scores in the outcome of an event is above or below a predetermined amount.
  • Open source is an approach to computer software design, development, and distribution offering practical accessibility to a product's source (goods and knowledge).


  • The 4 Gregs comic is drawn on hexagonal-grid paper, commonly used for table top role playing games.
  • The toons menu description reads "The spin-off no one was asking for!"
  • The full text of the scroll with the rules of football reads:
The offensive team has 4
chances to advance the ball
10 yards at a time with the
objective being to cross the
opposing teams goal line
using either running plays
or passing plays or any
combination thereof.


  • During the title sequence, D N'D Greg, Open Source Greg and Japanese Culture Greg have four, four, and five fingers per hand, respectively, despite the fact that all the Gregs (and indeed almost all Teen Girl Squad characters) are normally drawn with only three fingers per hand.
  • The notion for a spinoff based on the Gregs was previously entertained in the DVD commentary for Teen Girl Squad Issue 11.
  • The TV Time menu preview shows Japanese Culture Greg holding a different robot from that shown in the actual toon.
  • Despite the title, there are "5 Gregs" that appear in this toon.

Inside References

  • Open Source Greg and Japanese Culture Greg were previously seen, though unnamed at the time, in the Easter egg for Teen Girl Squad Issue 9.
    • The page title is also a reference to that issue.
  • This is another appearance of thyme and Internet slang.
  • D N'D Greg has fangs when explaining football with the scroll.
  • The toons menu description is a reference to the Easter egg in Teen Girl Squad issue 14.
  • "Ow! All my client!" is another use of Ow! My X!.
  • The Mascot stating "AT LEAST TRY TO BEAT THE SPREAD" in his cheer is an instance of gambling.
  • Science Fiction Greg believes that What's Her Face will defend him because they dated previously, as revealed in Teen Girl Squad Issue 9.
  • "Halph-thyme" is another instance of homophones.
  • Tompkins saying "Ow! All my client!" is an example of Singular Instead of Plural.

Real-World References

"Into the Apple store?"
  • Open Source Greg mentions the Apple Store. As he does this, the edge of his speech bubble turns into Apple's logo.
  • The text on Cheerleader's shirt is a reference to Hollaback Girl.
  • A Sugar Daddy is a caramel lollipop made by Tootsie Roll Industries.
  • Open Source Greg's laptop/hot dog box has a picture of a penguin on it, a reference to Tux, the mascot of the open source operating system Linux.
  • The "shambling Krenshar" that D N'D Greg mentions is a melding of the names of two monsters from Dungeons & Dragons. The shambling mound is a carnivorous ambulatory plant monster, and the krenshar is a feline predator that can retract the skin on its face to frighten opponents.
  • "Ow! All my client!" may be a reference to All your base are belong to us.

External Links

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