An Important Rap Song

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Toon Category: Shorts
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"Don't play with too many knives!"

Crack Stuntman has an important message.

Cast (in order of appearance): Gunhaver, Fightgar, Firebert, Blue Laser Commander, Blue Laser Minion, Silent Rip, Crackotage, Flashfight, Reynold, Ripberger, Crack Stuntman, Reynold's Brother, Foxface

Places: Cheat Commandos HQ, Blue Laser Cottage, The Beach

Date: Monday, March 26, 2007

Running Time: 2:01

Page Title: We now return to the REAL Cheat Commandos!



{Scene opens to a VCR-like opening screen with static at the top and "PLAY" and a timer going up from "0:20:14"}

GUNHAVER: {standing next to Fightgar and Firebert} —pants back on, Blue Laser!

{Cut to Blue Laser Commander holding his pair of pants up while not wearing any.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: How could you possibly refer to these as pants?

{Cut back to the Commandos}

GUNHAVER: Ahhahaha! {turns to other Commandos} Cheat Commandos...riggidy-roll!

{The other Commandos look confused and surprised. Cut to Silent Rip.}

SILENT RIP: Uh...that's not what we usually say!

{Cut back to Gunhaver}

GUNHAVER: Yeah whatever, {background music stops} it's riggidy-roll from now on.

{Cut to usual end screen, "Buy All Our Playsets and Toys!!" appears on the screen and is sung to music. The text "created by A. Chimendez" appears at the bottom. "Riggidy Roll" is carved into the rock that Gunhaver stands on instead of "Rock Rock On" as usual, and the characters at the bottom seem confused.}

SINGERS: Buy all our playsets and toys!

{Cut to pink screen with a guy with a green shirt with "CRACK" on his shirt pocket}

CRACK STUNTMAN: Hi kids. {plunges at screen} BLAAAAH—I'm Crack Stuntman. {places hand on chest.} I'm the voice of the {removes hand from chest} gun-shaver on Cheat Commandos! Here with an important rap song about safety {holds up 1 finger} and spring break. {holds up another finger} {points offscreen} Bust it! {music starts playing, Crack's head bobs to the beat}

Well you're a rich kid, living in the suburbs,
and there's not a whole lot to do.
You stroll into the kitchen and what do you find?
A bunch of knives cold staring at you.

Kids, don't play with too many knives.
C'mon, c'mon.
Crack Stuntman gonna save some lives.


It's spring break,
Girlies running wild,
Jet to the beach
wearin' the freshest styles.
Meet a bunch of kids from Alabama!
Beach volleyball slammajamma!
Putt-putt, go carts, bungee-jumpin'!
Crack Stuntman keeps the bass pumpin'!


Holla' for a dollar!
shout for some clout!
Somebody say holla' for a dollar!
Let's turn this party out!

Bonfire on the beach and people start to dance,
Find a fly girlie for some beach romance.
But then a fresh honey comes walkin' by.
How can a man choose between fresh and fly?
(spoken) And believe me, there is a difference!

Throw your hands in the air for some high-fives,
and kids, don't play with too many knives.

And I am out!

{Cut to a gray background where the words "Download All Our Number One Jams!!" appear in white on a gray background. The Cheat Commandos theme music plays.}

SINGERS: Download all our number one jams!

Fun Facts


  • This toon is a parody of various public service announcements in which prominent media figures (celebrities, politicians, etc.) attempt to give advice to children in the form of catchy songs, rap, etc. Common examples include campaigns against smoking and drug use.
  • "Fresh" in this case means "first rate" while "fly" in this case means "stylish".


  • This is the first toon in which Foxface has been animated. As of this toon, all of the known Cheat Commandos have now been animated at least once, but not all of their voices have been heard yet.
  • The serial number on the dollar bill that appears during the rap is 34678234678 on the left side and 67834jq8nds on the right. On a real American dollar bill the serial number would be the same on both sides, and the letters would be capitalized.


  • The golf clubs displayed are not putters.
  • The sound in this toon is considerably higher quality than usual. This was also done in Homestar Presents: Presents.
  • The rap song's overall rhythm and repetition of "come on, come on" is similar to Strong Bad's email song in the Easter egg at the end of senior prom.
  • This toon came out around 6:30 PM, but there was no message posted in the morning saying a toon would be released late that day.
  • The rap song can be downloaded.


  • This toon's entry in the Toons Menu incorrectly shows a running time of 2:19 in the "Shorts" section. The time is shown correctly in the "What's New" section.
  • By zooming in on Crack Stuntman's second "Pistols for Pandas" visor, it can be seen that the "PFP" on the logo is mirrored. This is possibly because the first visor was mirrored to create the second visor.
  • In the beach scene the 'fly' Foxface walks to the right, then the 'fresh' Foxface appears to walk by to the left. In reality the scene is inverted and replayed. (Notice the 'BL' on the Blue Laser uniforms).

Inside References

Real-World References

See Also

  • The visuals that occur during the rap song.

External Links

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