Bubs's Shady Business Practices

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"What kinda shady Bubs business you running here anyways?"
Strong Bad: You're a shady, shady character Bubs.
Bubs: It's cool in the shade!

Bubs has been known to engage in all forms of shady, crooked, and sometimes downright illegal business practices, from simple overpricing to trading in stolen organs.


Bait and Switch

Copyright Infringement


Debt Evasion

  • Email lackey — Bubs slams the shutters when Strong Bad with Doreauxgard pretends to be from the collection agency.

Defective and Substandard Goods


Evidence Tampering

  • Bug In Mouth Disease — When Homestar approaches, Bubs is burning an envelope labeled "Exhibit A" and later tries to sell him a pancreas contained in a box labeled "Exhibit B".
  • DNA Evidence — Bubs sells Marzipan's DNA evidence to Strong Bad in a snow cone, and returns to her a test tube labeled "tampered with".
  • Email buried — Bubs buries "intoxicatingly good" waste in Strong Badia and has apparently buried "a fella named Rich" in the past.
  • I Killed Pom Pom — Bubs sells Homestar a 50 gallon drum of bleach, a 50 gallon drum of sawblades, and a 50 gallon drum of bodybags, in order to destroy the evidence of him "killing Pom Pom".

False Advertising

  • Email unused emails — The Free Weekly Spamvertisement promotes Scotch Tape, ketchup, and three bean salad as herbal supplements.
  • Broken Compy Menu — Bubs sells the shotgunned Compy 386 to Homestar saying it's a low-priced automobile.
  • Email technology — Bubs sells "wireless extension cords" and stresses that they're "existent".
  • Happy Hallow-day — Bubs advertises black spray-paint as spray-on Halloween night, sunglasses as Halloween night-vision goggles and "Hollerin' Jimmy's Hovercraft Kit" as a "Halloween Night hovercraft kit".
  • Email the chair — Bubs tries to sell a box of chicken beaks and a Winger album as chairs.
  • Ever and More! — Bubs sells the minutes of The Broternal Order of Different Helmets's last meeting to third world countries as rollover minutes.
  • Quality Time — Bubs sells Marzipan eggs as "organic batteries".
  • Donut Unto Others — Bubs lies about the teeth-cleaning and cavity-fighting abilities of his donuts. He also says that he has them made in a third world country named "Homemáde" so he can legally print "from homemade" on the package.



Harmful Goods

Health Code Violations

Human Trafficking

Information Mining and Spamming

  • Email unused emails — Bubs buys, as claimed, roughly 5000 email addresses at $0.25 apiece from Strong Bad (roughly $1250 total) to use in his weekly spamvertisments.

Intentionally Poor Crowd Control

  • Email local news — Bubs tricks Homestar, Marzipan and the King of Town into queuing outside the Concession Stand (and paying for it) for no reason.
  • Toikey TV — The sale advertised by Bubs, "Bubs Friday", has a designated time for "Shovin' and Tramplin'". He also encourages mothers to fight each other and even draw blood.
  • A Decemberween Mackerel — Bubs intentionally has a queue last for 3 miles or 18 days, whichever comes first.

Invasion of Privacy

Ivory Trade

  • Homestar Ruiner — Strong Bad says that the last time he tried to navigate Bubs' Tele-stand, he ended up with a crate of rhino horns (though according to Strong Bad they were from a species not considered endangered).

Legal Malpractice

  • Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 17.2 — Bubs represents Coach Z in court; however, he bases his defense on dinosaurs after confusing works by author Michael Crichton with those by author John Grisham.

Loan Sharking

  • Email other days — Bubs threatens to turn Strong Bad over to a "cut off your toes"-style collections agency if he doesn't pay up.

Mistreatment of Employees

  • Email part-time job — Strong Bad mentions that Bubs made him pay for his mascot costume.
  • On Break — Bubs only gives one smoking, pee, coffee, and maternity leave break each per day. He also doesn't allow Pom Pom to take breaks as he is not in the union.

Operating Without a Valid License

  • Bug In Mouth Disease — Bubs claims to be a doctor despite his "doctor" card clearly being only for VCR repairs and fashion consultation.
  • Senorial Day — Bubs's entrepreneur license has "SUSPENDED" stamped across it.
  • Email licensed — Bubs sells unlicensed unlicensed Strong Bad merchandise.
  • The Baloneyman — Bubs mentions that the tag and license he has been operating under are both expired.
  • Strong Badia the Free — Bubs hints that his black market sells unlicensed merchandise.

Organ Trafficking



  • SBCG4AP Tutorial — When Strong Bad comments that Bubs has gotten fat, he replies that he hasn't and is in fact just smuggling cantaloupes past the border under his shirt.
  • Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective — While Bubs was imprisoned in what would eventually become the Concession Stand he sold himself Hot Dogs with files in them.

Stolen Goods

  • Cool Things — Bubs claims that he's closed and only gives Homestar the paint and shades when he asks Bubs to steal them for him, asserting that he never passes up a chance to stick it to the man.
  • Strong Badia the Free — Bubs's black market trades in organs of questionable origin and illegally obtained cultural artifacts. He trades Strong Sad's stolen Pretendix for an illegally excavated piece of pottery to Strong Bad.
  • Where My Hat Is At? — Bubs has Marzipan's hair on sale as a "wig" which he unabashedly says is stolen.

Weapons Dealing

Generic Mentions of Shadiness

  • Broken Compy Menu — Homestar asks, "What kinda shady Bubs business you running here anyways? A Bubsness?"
  • Bug In Mouth Disease — Homestar asks if Bubs is an unethical quack, to which he responds "the most quackinest."
  • Happy Fireworks — Bubs complains about how long the setup for the fireworks is taking, saying "I got peoples to rip off!"
  • Email isp — When Strong Bad confronts him with "throttling [Strong Bad] down", Bubs responds that throttling down is not one of the 99 ways he rips Strong Bad off.
  • Email licensed — Bubs says that the stuff that he sells in the Concession Stand is of worse quality than his shady bootleg operation.
  • Email buried (DVD commentary) — The Brothers Chaps say that they are trying to remember all the "sketchy things" that Bubs does.
  • Play Date — Bubs briefly spends time in federal prison for unexplained reasons.
  • The Baloneyman — At the end, Homestar says farewell to the "baloneym'n", adding "may your warbly theme song serve as a reminder that you probably have a really sketchy past."
  • Strong Badia the Free — Strong Bad says that Bubs is a "shady, shady character", to which Bubs responds that it's cool in the shade.
  • Doomy Tales of the Macabre — Bubs describes his wallet as the one that says "bad business practices".

See Also

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