Compy Catalog

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Toon Category: Shorts
watch Where My Hat Is At? (toon) Strong Bad Sings
The whole Fam!!

Strong Bad chooses a new computer.

Cast (in order of appearance): The Poopsmith, Strong Bad, The Cheat, Strong Sad

Places: The Field, Strong Bad's Basement, Strong Sad's Room, Computer Room

Date: Monday, August 3, 2009

Running Time: 3:48

Page Title: If it doesn't say Compy, it might not be a Computer.

Contents

Transcript

{The Poopsmith opens Strong Bad's mailbox and puts a letter in it. He is wearing a postal uniform with a small picture of The Cheat on the shirt. He closes the mailbox and walks away. Birds can be heard in the background. Cut to Strong Bad's Basement.}

STRONG BAD: It's here!

{cut to The Cheat in the crisper drawer.}

STRONG BAD: It's here!

{cut to Strong Sad's room.}

STRONG BAD: It's finally here!

{music begins.}

STRONG SAD: It's here!

{zoom in to Strong Sad.}

STRONG SAD: It's here! It's fina-l-ly here!

{zoom out to a full-body shot. Confetti shoots out from off-screen.}

STRONG SAD: There's no more time for expectat—

{Strong Bad pokes his head in.}

STRONG BAD: Shut up!

STRONG SAD: {sadly} That was the happiest I've ever been...

{cut to the mailbox. Strong Bad runs to it and grabs a slip of paper that's in it.}

STRONG BAD: I've been waiting all dang year for this!

{zoom into a pamphlet that has the Compy logo on it, also saying "NEW PRODUCTS CATALOG". The year "2009" has been pasted over the year "1989".}

STRONG BAD: The 2009 Compy new products catalog!

{cut back to Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: A new compy catalog is like Decemberween morning,

{a picture of a present pops up in a thought bubble above him.}

STRONG BAD: my birthday,

{a bazooka pops up beside it.}

STRONG BAD: A candy store,

{the SBLOUNSKCHED bar pops up.}

STRONG BAD: and Strong Sad's funeral all wrapped together up in one piece of junk mail!

{a party blower pops up next and blows. The clouds then disappear.}

STRONG BAD: Now I can finally find a suitable replacement for the Lappy!

{Strong Bad opens the catalog. Six laptops are on the first page, in various shades of tan. The text above the laptops say "A rainbow of choices!" The text below it says "Fabulous flourescents!}

STRONG BAD: Ooh, look at this new line of brightly colored Lappies! Neon Tan,

{a laptop of that color appears on the screen.}

STRONG BAD: Gray Passion, Rodeo {pronounces like "ro-day-oh"} Beige, Italian Same, Glittery Taupe.

{zoom out to a full body shot of Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: Seems like these are more for those stylish ladies and the rat-dogs that— Wait. did they just try to tell me same is a color?

{flips the page}

STRONG BAD: {reading} Our most family-friendly Compy ever,

{cut to a picture of a very large computer.}

STRONG BAD: The roomy-vac is a computer for the entire household! Woah! Comes with built-in printer,

{cut to a zoom-in of a built-in printer with paper feeding out of it. The text "Built-in!" flashes.}

STRONG BAD: Eight-inch monitor,

{cut to a small monitor with a keyboard in front of it still built into the large computer. The text "Eight-in!" flashes.}

STRONG BAD: Three bedroom, two-and-a-half bath!

{a family appears in front of the computer.}

STRONG BAD: And a front door for easy access!

{a front door appears on the computer.}

STRONG BAD: {reading, monotone} The Roomy-Vac is a real powerHOUSE...get it? Oh, you don't? Well, because it's the size of a... Oh, you were kidding? You do get it? Pretty good, huh? No?

{the price "$240,999.99" is below it but not read. Cut back to Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: Why would they print that whole exchange? Anyway, what else they got?

{flips the page.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} Do you have problems opening up digital pictures of your grandkids or taking four consecutive steps? Then have we got a Compy for you!

{cut to a computer similar to the Compy 386, only with a Needlepoint screen.}

STRONG BAD: The Grampy Aught-Six utilizes easy to read 400-point type!

{as Strong Bad speaks, the letters "Dear Oldie," appear on the screen two letters at a time, scrolling with a clang sound.}

STRONG BAD: Turning even the shortest email into an unforgettable all-day affair! And you'll never lose track of our new

{a very large arrow-shaped cursor appears on the screen.}

STRONG BAD: meat-loaf sized cursor,

{The cursor transforms into a pixelly meat loaf.}

STRONG BAD: it's shaped like meat loaf too!

{cut to a mouse.}

STRONG BAD: Optional mouse, that is an

{the mouse transforms into an actual mouse}

STRONG BAD: actual mouse that will pre-chew your food for you, sold separately. The Grampy Aught-Six.

{zoom out to Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: Because Piccadilly's not open, 24 hours.

{flips the page, followed by a record scratch}

STRONG BAD: Oh, my goodness, graphics. I like the looks of {high-pitched} thiis!

{cut to a modern-looking computer.}

STRONG BAD: The Compé, because flat-panel sophistication demands made-up words.

{zoom into the Compé.}

STRONG BAD: The Compy Compé delivers European-sounding flair,

{Europe flies on the screen with the text "FLAIR" in it}

STRONG BAD: With southeast Asian-sounding prices.

{Southeast Asia flies in with a dollar sign in it}

STRONG BAD: My two most favorites!

{explosion occurs. Cut back to Strong Bad who tosses the catalog in the air.}

STRONG BAD: Sooold! I'm gonna put my eighty-thousand pennies in the mail right now!

{Strong Bad tosses a very large bag onto the mailbox with the word "compé" written on it. There is a single stamp on the right corner.}

{yellow text on a black background: 2-4 weeks later...}

{cut to Strong Bad sitting at the desk with the Compé sitting on it.}

STRONG BAD: All right, Compé, that accent mark better not let me down!

{he then turns it on. The word "compé" appears on the screen with a sigh.}

STRONG BAD: So sleek. So-phisticated. So, Compé.

{The Compé then pulls up a system error that reads the following:}

FRAGRANT SYSTEM ERROR
Your brand new computer is bloke.
Please prepare to wait on hold
with tech support for several hours.
The current tech support smugness
level is RED.

{Strong Bad grunts with frustration. Then the computer flashes the words "i joké" on-screen.}

STRONG BAD: Oh-ho-ho-ho. A wise guy, eh? I think you and me are gonna get along just fine, Compé.

{cut to the picture of the Compé in the catalog.}

STRONG SAD: It's here! It's here! It's fina-l-ly here!

Fun Facts

Trivia

  • Eighty-thousand pennies is 800 dollars.
  • When zoomed in, the card on the Decemberween present in Strong Bad's imagination reads:
TO:
STRONG BAD
FROM:
MOM OR DAD
  • When Strong Bad throws his bag of eighty-thousand pennies onto the mailbox, several can be seen falling out.

Remarks

  • Assuming the laptop's screen hinges are facing upward, when opened, the Compy logo would be upside down.
  • The catalog showed six different colored laptops on one page, but five are shown individually.

Goofs

  • Fluorescent is misspelled in the first page of the catalog.

Inside References

Real World References

Poopsmith dressed as the mailman.
  • The Poopsmith is dressed as the Postman from The Legend of Zelda series, except with images of The Cheat on the hat and belt, instead of a rabbit head.
  • Piccadilly is a cafeteria chain.
  • The Roomy-Vac is a take off on UNIVAC, the first commercial computer. Early computers would usually occupy entire rooms or even buildings.

External Links

Personal tools