Crimes Committed by Strong Bad

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(some chronologizing (is that a word?))
(The Cheat pretty much does it on his own accord)
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*Email [[invisibility]] — Strong Bad punches Homestar in the gut.
*Email [[invisibility]] — Strong Bad punches Homestar in the gut.
*Email [[your friends]] — Strong Bad inflicts pain on, or tortures all of the main characters (except [[The Poopsmith]]) in some contemptuous way, most of which simply involves hitting them with his foot or another object.
*Email [[your friends]] — Strong Bad inflicts pain on, or tortures all of the main characters (except [[The Poopsmith]]) in some contemptuous way, most of which simply involves hitting them with his foot or another object.
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*Email [[privileges]] — Strong Bad gets the Cheat to do something to Strong Sad with a drill.
 
*Email [[the process]] — Strong Bad throws a discount brick at Homestar.
*Email [[the process]] — Strong Bad throws a discount brick at Homestar.
*Email [[the bet]] — Strong Bad is hoisting the [[Typing Tutor Turbo]] over [[The King of Town]]'s head, but you do not see him drop it.
*Email [[the bet]] — Strong Bad is hoisting the [[Typing Tutor Turbo]] over [[The King of Town]]'s head, but you do not see him drop it.

Revision as of 04:37, 20 July 2009

Strong Bad's Wanted Poster

Over the course of the Homestar Runner body of work Strong Bad has committed several crimes and misdemeanors. He often operates alone in his criminal acts, but is also frequently aided by either The Cheat, Strong Mad, or both. Oftentimes, he also gets help from Bubs, albeit more subtly. He has been punished or caught while committing several crimes, and as a result has spent some time in jail. Strong Bad's criminal repertoire is long and diverse, ranging from petty misdemeanors, such as prank calls, to major crimes, including kidnapping, extortion and attempted murder.

Contents

Aiding and Abetting

  • Email buried — Strong Bad rents out Strong Badia to unsavory characters (especially if not exclusively Bubs), allowing them to bury various types of criminal evidence, including toxic waste and a dead body.
  • Baddest of the Bands — Strong Bad helps Homestar cheat on his audition for Pom Pom's band.

Arson

  • Email dragon — Strong Bad burns Strong Sad's dragon drawing with the BMW lighter.
  • Email caper — Strong Bad admits to setting fire to Strong Sad's underwears.
  • Email lady fan — Strong Bad burns a good deal of Marzipan's arts and crafts supplies with the BMW lighter.
  • Email the chairAs a child, Strong Bad ignites a newspaper with a Duplo lighter and throws it at a house, causing the front door to emit smoke.
  • Strong Badia the Free — Strong Bad can use his lighter on all sorts of different objects to destroy them, such as Strong Sad's national documents and Pom Pom's kimono.

Assault and Battery

  • Marshmallow's Last Stand — Strong Bad unsuccessfully attacks Homestar with a bomb, ultimately ending up blowing a hole in his own head.
  • Egg Throwing Game — Strong Bad throws eggs at people dressed up as ghosts.
  • The Best Decemberween Ever — Strong Bad locks Strong Sad in the the bathtub.
  • Email little animal — Strong Bad kicks both The Cheat and Strong Mad.
  • Email invisibility — Strong Bad punches Homestar in the gut.
  • Email your friends — Strong Bad inflicts pain on, or tortures all of the main characters (except The Poopsmith) in some contemptuous way, most of which simply involves hitting them with his foot or another object.
  • Email the process — Strong Bad throws a discount brick at Homestar.
  • Email the bet — Strong Bad is hoisting the Typing Tutor Turbo over The King of Town's head, but you do not see him drop it.
  • Email no loafing — Strong Bad's "appointment" consists of jumping on Strong Sad in bed and shouting "I hate you."
  • Email car — Strong Bad punches Homestar with his tricked out fist.
  • Email origins — Strong Bad presumably gives Strong Sad a belly button by attacking him with a powered drill.
    • Email imaginary — The origin of Strong Sad's belly button is given more credence with the presence of a bandage throughout the email.
  • Email rampage — Strong Bad's "regal rampage" consists of hitting the King of Town with a scepter.
  • Bug in Mouth Disease — Strong Bad hits Homestar with a skillet and throws the remote at him.
  • Email modeling — Strong Bad Karate chops the King of Town.
  • Email lady...ing — Strong Bad throws an anvil into the audience, presumably hitting at least one person. He also hits Homestar twice and kicks the Cheat.
  • Email lady fan — When setting fire to Marzipan's arts and crafts supplies, he burns her hair and possibly face and clothes as well.
  • Email cliffhangers — Strong Bad ties up the King of Town and Homsar, and dangles them over a cliff. He "resolves" them by cutting their ropes, causing them to fall.
  • Email what I want — Strong Bad is suggested to have put wildebeest pheromones in Strong Sad's laundry on at least two occasions.
  • Email concert — Strong Bad hits Strong Sad with a sloshy record.
  • Email slumber party — Strong Bad attacks Strong Sad with the intent of dislocating his shoulder, having presumably previously dislocated the other in a similar fashion.
  • Email environment — Strong Bad attempts to drop a "65 mile-per-gallon hybrid" piano on Marzipan and Strong Sad, but both of them get out of the way before the piano can hit either of them.
  • Blubb-O's Commercial — Strong Bad gets The Cheat to fire a harpoon at Strong Sad and Coach Z.
  • Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 16.2 — Strong Bad puts Roman Candles in Marzipan's toilet which go off in proximity to Strong Sad.
  • Donut Unto Others — Posing as health inspector, Strong Bad knocks over Homestar's cardboard donut stand while putting an 'F,' on it, intentionally causing the donut grease to spill on and injure Homestar.
  • Hremail 3184 — To put an end to Homestar's email program, Strong Bad hits him with a rake, a shovel, and a garden weasel.

Attempted Murder

  • Email homsar — Strong Bad attempts to kill Homsar with the Heavy Lourde.
  • Email pom pom — Strong Bad attempts to pop Pom Pom with a pin while he's on fire, blindfolded. Pom Pom beats the crap out of him instead.
  • Email the movies — In an attempt to kill Homestar and perhaps other audience members, Strong Bad fires a bazooka in the movie theater, seemingly reducing the theater to a smoldering crater.
  • Date Nite — Strong Bad and Homestar attempt to kill Marzipan and The Cheat using fireworks, but their plan backfires, causing their submarine to sink.
  • A Death-Defying Decemberween — Strong Bad moves Homestar Runner's mattress, buried at the bottom of The Steep Deep, assuming that Homestar would die sledding down the mountain.
  • Theme Song Video — Strong Bad throws knives at Strong Sad tied to a spinning wheel.

Black Market (Bubs)

  • Email licensed — Strong Bad buys two cases of unlicensed Strong Bad brand ferret ointment.
  • Strong Badia the Free — In the wrong side of Concessionstantinople, Strong Bad does multiple businesses in the black market with Bubs on weapons, fake IDs, harvested organs, illegally excavated artifacts, unlicensed merchandise, and pirated DVDs.
    • Strong Bad attempts to trade in Strong Sad's stolen fake sword, but Bubs claims it as a worthless piece of junk.
    • Strong Bad attempts to trade in Pom Pom's stolen samurai sword, but Bubs says he would be in big trouble if Pom Pom caught him selling his weapons. Bubs suggests selling stuff less dangerous, such as stolen organs.
    • Strong Bad trades in Strong Sad's stolen pretendix for a illegally excavated broken piece of an old pot from the Homsar Reservation.

Breaking and Entering

  • Email caper — Strong Bad breaks into Homestar's house with The Cheat to burglarize it. They are unable to steal anything, however, because The Cheat breaks the cow lamp, thus waking up Homestar Runner and forcing them to leave.
  • Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon — Strong Bad and The Cheat attempt to break into Bubs' Concession Stand to steal Bubs' fund-raiser candy bars. They are caught by Homestar and Coach Z when they attempt to blow the back door open with fireworks.
  • Email part-time job — Strong Bad breaks into Marzipan's house. His motive is unknown, but it's believed he did so to check his email from inside.
  • DNA Evidence — Again, Strong Bad breaks into Marzipan's house to search inside her couch to find money. He leaves behind a trail of pecan-pie-filling footprints, and accidentally drops a vial of DNA Evidence.
  • Homestar Ruiner — Strong Bad breaks into the King of Town's Castle to steal Homestar's criminal record.

Cheating

  • Original Book and Strongest Man in the World — Strong Bad has The Cheat unplug The Robot and help him hold up his grapes.
  • A Jumping Jack Contest — Strong Bad has Strong Mad and The Cheat distract Bubs, offer Homestar Melonade in order to force him to drop out, and stand in for Strong Bad wearing bad costumes.
  • Tis True, Pom Pom, Tis True — Strong Bad has The Cheat attack Homestar so that Strong Bad can win the race.
  • Halloween Awards Show — When Strong Bad wins the costume contest, he thanks The Cheat for helping him cheat.
  • Email impression — Strong Bad attempts to cheat at the Strong Sad Lookalike Contest by using a tape recording of Strong Sad's voice.
  • Email pet show — Strong Bad uses The Cheat to sabotage the Cat Mess Inbredtational Pet Show so The Cheat can win, but they are disqualified because Homestar has sabotaged them with relish foot.
  • Kick-A-Ball — Strong Bad has clearly hand-written a rule in the rule book, though it ends up causing him to lose the game.
  • Homestar Ruiner — Strong Bad cheats heavily to win the Race to the End of the Race.
  • Baddest of the Bands — Strong Bad sabotages the other bands in order to win the Battle Royal of the Bands.

Counterfeiting

  • Email autobiography — It is suggested that Strong Bad attempted to and was successful at counterfeiting money by adding zeroes to bills' denominations.
  • Email shapeshifting — Strong Bad shapeshifts into a 100 dollar bill in an attempt to buy a hot tub.

Extortion

Frameup

  • Homestar Ruiner — Strong Bad frames Homestar for destroying Marzipan's decorations, and then later Pom Pom with Total Load to get him disqualified so that Homestar could win the Tri-annual Race to the End of the Race.
  • Baddest of the Bands — Strong Bad sets up several crimes, each making it appear as though Coach Z committed it to get Two-O Duo back together again (including toilet papering The Stick and stealing the alarm from Bubs' Concession Stand).

Gate-crashing

  • Email senior prom — Strong Bad attempts to crash a senior prom by using a device that de-pants everybody in the room, but it only de-pants him. He ends up becoming prom queen.

Gross Negligence

  • Email keep cool — Strong Bad's pool supervision is extremely negligent, including his use of improper chemicals and his policy of having people he hates swim during thunderstorms while holding large metal objects.

Human Trafficking

  • Email the bet — Strong Bad says that he is going to "make an indentured servant out of Strong Sad."

Identity Theft

  • Email credit card — Strong Bad scams Homestar into giving him his credit card information, which he uses to purchase a spaceship, two killer robots, a rocket launcher and a robotic dog/shark, spending a total of $3,013,500,000 USD.
  • DNA Evidence — Text on Strong Bad's computer implies that he is trying to get someone's credit card information, and by inputting it, it will "safen it all out".

Kidnapping

Phone Harassment

  • Strong Bad has left numerous prank calls on Marzipan's Answering Machine, and in many of them, he attempts to con Marzipan into giving him something, ranging from food to free cable. It is unlikely that many of these attempts were actually successful.
  • Homestar Ruiner — Strong Bad prank calls several characters in the game.

Prison Escape

Public Indecency

Research Ethics Violations

  • Email current status — Strong Bad does an experiment where he switches Coach Z's and Bubs' bodies to make Coach B and Zubs.
  • Email caffeine — Strong Bad's study of the effects of caffeine on Strong Sad violates several regulations governing medical research in most modern jurisdictions. Strong Bad's lack of credentialed qualification notwithstanding:
    • Strong Bad does not acquire proper informed consent.
    • The beneficence of Strong Bad's research is dubious at best.
    • Injustice in selection of subject and control, largely due to the premise of the cartoon.

Rioting

Spamming

  • Email unused emails — Strong Bad sells 5,000 email addresses to Bubs for his "free weekly spamvertisements." In return, he gets a quarter for each one ($1,250 total.)

Theft

  • Marshmallow's Last Stand — Strong Bad steals and then destroys Homestar's Star.
  • A Jumping Jack Contest — Impersonating Pom Pom, Strong Bad steals Homestar's Trophy.
  • The Reddest Radish — Along with The Cheat, and Strong Mad, Strong Bad steals a radish from Marzipan's garden.
  • The Luau — Strong Bad steals Marzipan's wood to use to roast marshmallows at his party.
  • Strong Bad's Treat Snatcha — Strong Bad steals candy from trick-or-treaters by slashing open their candy bags.
  • Email vacation — Strong Bad tries to steal the bike from Pantsburg.
  • Email invisibility — Strong Bad steals a bunch of Swiss Cake Rolls from Bubs' Concession Stand.
  • Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon — Strong Bad steals several items during the course of the cartoon, including The King of Town's crown.
  • Email dangeresque 3 — Strong Bad steals and eats Strong Sad's sandwich.
  • Experimental Film — Strong Bad and Strong Mad try to steal from an ATM.
  • Email extra plug — It is suggested that Strong Bad steals pretendous amounts of electricity from the King of Town in order to power his 'Lectric Boots.
  • Homestar Presents Presents — Using the Grabbo Arm, Strong Bad steals Marzipan's purse.
  • Email origins — Strong Bad and the other On Point Kings steal the King of Town's dunce cap.
  • Email garage sale — Strong Bad has The Cheat steal Marzipan's answering machine, which he then attempts to sell back to her at an inflated price. He also conspires with The Cheat to steal various items from Homestar's house, though Homestar may consent to this activity.
  • TrogdorCon '97 — It is implied that Strong Bad, or The Cheat under Strong Bad's orders, has stolen $500 from Strong Sad.
  • Happy Hallow-Day — Strong Bad suggests that he is going to steal the goblin's hamster ball.
  • Email what I want — Strong Bad tells of fraudulently returning an omelette to a hardware store for nigh on fifty bucks.
  • Email bike thief — Strong Bad, disguised as a bush, steals Pom Pom's bike and attempts to steal Homestar's bike, as well as admitting to stealing various people's lunches, girlfriends, and puppies. He also masquerades as the bush to get free pizza. Homestar later tries to steal Strong Bad's computer disguised as a trash can.
  • Homestar Ruiner — Strong Bad steals many items during the course of the game, including Homestar's criminal record.
  • Strong Badia the Free — Strong Bad steals Pom Pom's katana and replaces it with Strong Sad's fake one, which he also stole.
  • Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 16.2 — Strong Bad steals many of Marzipan's valuables when she is out of town.
  • Baddest of the Bands — Strong Bad steals a star from one of Bubs' advertisements, Strong Mad's stuffed dinosaur, and Strong Sad's fake sword again.

Unlawful Impersonation

Vandalism

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