DNA Evidence

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(Remarks: Glass type doesn't matter - you'd still break it.)
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*Homestar's trenchcoat seems to be unaffected by gravity, as it remains stiff and straight even as he bends over.
*Homestar's trenchcoat seems to be unaffected by gravity, as it remains stiff and straight even as he bends over.
*Strong Sad writes [[Left Handedness|left-handed]] for the entire toon except when interviewing Coach Z where the pen is in his right hand. He is right handed in [[rough copy]].
*Strong Sad writes [[Left Handedness|left-handed]] for the entire toon except when interviewing Coach Z where the pen is in his right hand. He is right handed in [[rough copy]].
*The purple liquid in the test tube Marzipan got back is more-then-likely Bubs' grape snow cone flavor.

Revision as of 14:57, 19 May 2007

Toon Category: Big Toon
watch Date Nite The King of Town DVD
"...and that's why I believe the DNA evidence had been tampered with."
This article is about the toon. For the running gag, see DNA Evidence (running gag).

Strong Sad attempts to solve the mystery of the DNA Evidence.

Cast (in order of appearance): Marzipan, Homsar, Strong Bad, The Cheat, Strong Sad, Pom Pom, Homestar Runner, Bubs, Coach Z, Strong Badman (Easter egg)

Places: The Field, Strong Badia, The Movie Theater, Marzipan's House, The Office, Strong Sad's Room, The Garage, Bubs' Concession Stand, Smoky Office, Computer Room, Coach Z's Locker Room

Date: Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Running Time: 5:35

Page Title: All your questions....sort of answered!!



{Yellow letters reading "Previously on HomestarRunner.com" on a black background zoom out slowly.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voiceover} Previously on HomestarRunner.com... {Pronounces "previously" with a short e}

{Fade to a scene from strong badathlon, set in the field. Marzipan and Homsar are sitting around a wooden table with a pink and white tea set on it. Faint music and snapping noises can be heard in the background.}

MARZIPAN: And that's why I believe the DNA evidence had been tampered with.

{The music continues. Cut to a clip from unnatural that takes place in Strong Badia. Strong Bad and The Cheat are seen sitting around a yellow table with a red and black tea set on it.}

STRONG BAD: And that's when I tampered with the DNA evidence!

{The music continues. Cut to inside the movie theater, from the movies. Strong Sad is sitting in a seat next to Pom Pom.}

MOVIE: {voiceover} The DNA evidence was gone!

{The music continues. Cut to an excerpt of your funeral, inside Marzipan's house. Strong Bad's statue of him wrestling a cougar is sitting by a couch with Homestar's trench coat and bowler hat hung on it. Homestar is standing in the middle of the room. Marzipan leans her head into the scene}

MARZIPAN: Did you find the DNA evidence?

{The music continues. Cut to the office, as seen in from work. Strong Bad is sitting at his computer. Pom Pom is halfway off the screen. He leaves followed by Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'll have that DNA evidence on your desk by five.

{The music continues. Cut to the Easter Egg from rough copy, inside Marzipan's house. Homestar is sitting on the couch. The lights are off.}


{The music continues. A guitar comes in to the music and begins playing a jazzy tune. Cut to a purple background with "The DNA Evidence" written in block letters. The camera pans down to Strong Sad. Mumbling is heard in the background. Strong Sad has a Easel on his right with "DNA Evidence" written across the top and a diagram of different characters and links between them.}

STRONG SAD: Attention! Your attention please!

{cut to Homsar with his mouth open on the other side of the room. Homsar gulps and closes his mouth. The mumbling stops. Cut back to Strong Sad.}

STRONG SAD: After extensive investigation, I'm ready to release {raises his right hand and turns his head toward the chart} my findings. I first spoke with...

{Cut to Marzipan in her kitchen}

STRONG SAD: Marzipan. {Pronounces it "Marcy-pon"}

MARZIPAN: Well, it all started several weeks ago.

{Cut to Marzipan's living room. Marzipan is walking in wearing a toga. There are muddy footprints on the carpet.}

MARZIPAN: {voiceover} I came home from my toga-yoga class to find that my house had been broken into and that the culprit had left behind some DNA evidence.

{As she walks, the couch moves onto the screen. The cushions are disarranged and the "Thank You" picture on the wall is crooked. The muddy prints stop at the couch. Something made of glass is just visible behind one of the cushions. Cut to Strong Sad holding a pen and his notebook in Marzipan's kitchen.}

STRONG SAD: What was it? Hair particles? Skin flakes? Blood crispies?

{Cut back to toga Marzipan in front of ransacked couch.}

MARZIPAN: {voiceover} No, it was a little test tube just full of green DNA evidence.

{As she says this, toga Marzipan pulls out a test tube filled with green liquid from the couch. Cut to close up of Marzipan inspecting the tube. Cut back to Strong Sad}

STRONG SAD: Oh. Just like in the movies. {he writes something down}

{Cut to front of Marzipan's house, toga Marzipan is walking out holding the test tube.}

MARZIPAN: {voiceover} So I immediately took it to Bubs to be analyzed...

{Cut back to Marzipan in her kitchen}

MARZIPAN: ...and this {holds up a tube filled with purple liquid and stamped "TAMPERED WITH!"} is all I got back.

{Right scroll to Bubs in the garage.}

BUBS: Well, it all started a few weeks ago. I just got finished teaching my...

{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand. Bubs is walking inside wearing a toga.}

BUBS: {voiceover} ...toga-yoga class {Bubs takes off toga} when old-maid Marzipan showed up.

{Toga Marzipan walks on to the screen.}

MARZIPAN: Hey, Bubs. Can you analyze this {she holds up the test tube} DNA evidence for me?

{Cut to inside of stand. Bubs is silhouetted on the left.}

BUBS: Sure thing! But it's gonna cost you an arm and a leg.

MARZIPAN: Not a problem.

{Marzipan hands over the test tube to Bubs. Cut to Strong Sad in the garage.}

STRONG SAD: So, what did you find out when you analyzed it?

{Cut back to Bubs}

BUBS: Oh, that. Well, next thing I know...

{Cut to inside of stand with silhouette}

BUBS: {voiceover} ...Strong Bad shows up.

{Strong Bad pops up from under the counter.}

STRONG BAD: Hey, Bubs. One green apple snow cone please.

BUBS: Coming right up!

{Bubs moves out of view. Cut to shelf with four push-spout jars labeled "Red", "Purple", "Green Apple", and "Blue". All contain various levels of said color liquid, except for the "Green Apple", which has a hole in the bottom. Some soft music begins to play. Scene zooms out slowly.}

BUBS: Ooh. Er.

{Cut to bubs holding an unflavored snow cone in one hand and the evidence in the other.}

BUBS: Uh. {Looks at snow cone.} Blaaaah. {Looks at evidence.}

{Bubs pours the evidence over the snow cone. Music stops. Cut to outside of stand}

BUBS: Here ya go. One... {turns head to the side} cough, cough... {looks back at Strong Bad} green apple snow cone.

{Bubs hands the cone over to Strong Bad. Cut to Strong Sad, writing something down. He stops and looks up.}

STRONG SAD: You served the DNA in a snow cone?!

{Cut to Bubs}

BUBS: And it sold {raises arm} like hotcake!

{Bottom scroll to the smoky office. Strong Bad is sitting at the desk leaning back in his chair. He has the cool shades on, and there is a lit cigarette in the ash tray on the desk.}

STRONG BAD: Yeah, I bought the DNA snow cone.

{Cut to Strong Sad in the smoky office, writing with the pad and pen.}

STRONG SAD: You knew it had the DNA evidence in it?!

{Cut back to Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: Well, yeah.

{Cut to side of Bubs' Concession Stand. Strong Bad is standing there wearing his shades. Marzipan walks up wearing a toga.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} I overheard that Marzipan had some DNA evidence, and I figured I could use it to continue my genetic experiments on The Cheat.

{As he says this, Strong Bad leans to the right. Marzipan holds up the tube and talks to Bubs. Strong Bad rubs his hands together and jumps off toward the back of the stand. Cut to shelf with snow cone flavoring. Green Apple is relatively full.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} So I sprung into action.

{Strong Bad appears and punctures the bottom of the Green Apple container with a pencil before ducking down again. The liquid pours out. Cut to inside view. Soft music starts again.}

STRONG BAD: Bubs-keep, one green-app snoke, on the rocks. And keep it rusty.

{Cut back to Strong Bad in office.}

STRONG BAD: By the time I got home, it was all melted.

{Cut to computer room. Strong Bad walks in from the right, still wearing the shades, and carrying a glass of green liquid.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} So I put it in a glass on my desk and went downstairs {Strong Bad puts the glass on the desk and walks offscreen} to do one of my high-impact toga-yoga videos.

{Cut back to office}

STRONG BAD: And that's the last I saw of it.

{Cut to Strong Sad, writing something down.}

STRONG SAD: You left it on your desk, eh? {he looks up}

{Right scroll to Homestar in his living room.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, I swung by Strong Bad's the other day. {frowns} The old lady had me out looking for some kind of {brightens up} Dan evidence.

{Cut to computer room. The glass is still on the desk. Homestar walks on from the right, wearing a hat and trenchcoat.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Strong Bad! I'm wearing a hat and trenchcoat! {Notices the glass} Ooh! A tall, cool glass of Mountain Dwa.

{Cut to close-up}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Don't mind if I dwa! {He drinks the evidence.} Glug, glug, glug.

{After a short pause, Homestar spits it out. Cut to dripping The Cheat.}

THE CHEAT: {Angry The Cheat noises.}

{Cut back to Homestar}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, sorry, The Cheat. That stuff tasted like dwa-dwa.

{Cut back to The Cheat wiping himself off with a white towel.}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises.}

{Cut to Strong Sad, writing something down}

STRONG SAD: So he wiped his face off with a gross towel, eh? {he looks up}

{Right scroll to Coach Z in the locker room, looking upset.}

COACH Z: You figured it out, Strong Sad! My cover is blown! I am actually {Pats his chest and puts his hands on his hips. Heroic halo appears briefly around him, accompanied by a sound effect.} Damp Towel Man! {Raises hand to his mouth} And also his mild-mannered alter-ego, Dan Towelman.

{Cut to Strong Sad}

STRONG SAD: Coach Z, no one's ever heard of those people.

{Cut to Coach Z}

COACH Z: Damp Towel Man is a super hero. He collects damp towels from across the galaxy.

{Cut to computer room, where a now green-spotted towel rests on the desk. Coach Z comes on from the left wearing a black mask and a towel tied on like a cape.}

COACH Z: Moist Molecules! A green-stained damp towel! The rarest and most powerful kind.

{Cut to the office. A janitorial cart rolls onto the screen from the left, with the towel on it.}

COACH Z: {voiceover} So I took the towel to work the next day to see if it could clean up microwave lasagna stains.

{Coach Z walks by with a vacuum cleaner and starts humming. Homestar shuffles by from the right, muttering to himself.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Stupid DNA evidence! Where am I supposed to find evidence by five o' clock?

{Cut back to Coach Z in the locker room}

COACH Z: But when I got back to my cart, it was gone! I suspect it was my nemesis, {shakes his fist} Dry Ragamuffin! Or his mild-mannered alter-ego, Dreyfus Ragámoofin. {Pronounced "rah-GAH-moo-fin"}

{Cut back to Strong Sad}

STRONG SAD Coach Z, you have a real sucky imagination.

{Cut back to Coach Z.}

COACH Z: That I do, my boy, that I do. Though I did notice that...

{Cut to the office, close up of muddy boots. Strong Bad can be seen on the right sitting at his desk. Coach Z's vacuum is moving back and forth. Scene zooms in slowly.}

COACH Z: {voiceover} ...Strong Bad had some muddy boots sitting under his kyorbicle.

{Cut back to Coach Z in locker room.}

COACH Z: I didn't find that at all suspicious.

{Bottom scroll to the smoky office.}

STRONG BAD: First of all, those were not muddy. I'd been stomping around in pecan pie all morning. Marzipan's allergic to pecans, you know.

{Cut to Strong Sad}

STRONG SAD: So it was your DNA evidence!

{Cut back to Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: Uhh, no. It was yours.

{Cut to Strong Sad, whose eyes are now bugging out. Scene zooms in rapidly.}

STRONG SAD: Whaaaaaat?!

{Cut back to Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: Yeah, I was just swiping the change from...

{Cut to Marzipan's living room, Strong Bad, wearing the "muddy" boots, has the test tube in the back of his pants, and is on the couch, pulling coins from it.}

STRONG BAD: ...Marzipan's couch cushions. And I must've accidentally dropped it.

{The test tube pops out of Strong Bad's pants and lands on the couch. Cut back to Strong Bad in smoky office.}

STRONG BAD: Man, I was {holds up hand with thumb close to the main part of the glove} this close to finding out if you're really part elephant or part hippo or something.

{Cut to angry Strong Sad}

STRONG SAD: I am not!

{Cut back to Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: Well, now I guess we'll never know for sure. Now if you'll excuse me. {Dangeresque music starts} The stairs of this building have been burned down by termites. So it looks like I'm gonna have to jump!

{Strong Bad jumps off the screen. Fade to black. Fade in to close-up of the bottom of Strong Sad's bed. Strong Sad pulls a box from underneath it. The box contains a picture frame, a red birthday card with a drawing of Strong Bad on it, a roll of film, a snow globe, and a corked test tube of green liquid. Strong Sad grabs the test tube. Cut to close-up of Strong Sad smiling.}

STRONG SAD: Yes. The world will never know for sure. Oh-ho-ho-ho...

{Cut closer}

STRONG SAD: ...Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho...

{Cut closer and angled}

STRONG SAD: ...Ooh-hoo-ho-ho-ho-ho...

{Cut even closer}

STRONG SAD: ...Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha...

{Cut to Strong Bad stealing change from Marzipan's couch. Pan left to see Strong Sad peeking through the window}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} ...Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo...

{Cut to Marzipan giving the test tube to Bubs. Pan up to see Strong Sad on the roof.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} ...Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha Ah-ha-ha-ha...

{Cut to Coach Z's cart. Strong Sad comes up from behind it and reaches for the towel.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} ...Hah-ha-ha-ha-ha...

{Cut back to Strong Sad standing in his room, holding the test tube.}

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} ...Woo-ho-ho-ho...

{Cut to wide angle view with Homsar standing next to Strong Sad.}

STRONG SAD: ...Ah-ha-ha-ha Woo-ha-ha—

{Record screech. Strong Sad looks down and finally notices Homsar there.}

STRONG SAD: Oh. Hi. You're not gonna say anything, are you?

{Cut to close-up of Homsar}

HOMSAR: DaAaAa, these Easter pants are getting way too tight. {His hat flies off his head on "pants", slides backwards on "way", and performs a backflip off his mouth on "too tight".}

{Two ascending notes play, accompanied by the screen turning black except for a small circle around Homsar's eyes. Fade to black. "THE END" appears on a purple background in block letters, zooming out slowly.}

Easter Eggs

"Moist Molecules!"
  • Click on the Z on Coach Z's medallion after he reveals that he's Damp Towel Man to see a Strong Badman comic.
  • Click on the Z again in the scene he mentions Dry Ragamuffin to see another Strong Badman comic, starring a character that resembles Bubs.

Fun Facts


  • This cartoon is based on the DNA Evidence running gag that appeared in six straight emails, beginning with strong badathlon.
  • "Old maid" is a term used to disparagingly describe an older, unmarried woman.
  • "On the rocks" means to pour over ice, usually said when ordering an alcoholic beverage.
  • Ragamuffin is a term used to describe a child wearing shabby clothing.
  • "Costing an arm and a leg" is an idiom used to convey an extremely high price.
  • "Selling like hotcake[s]" means to sell very well.


  • The Floppy Disk Container reads "3DFX drivers".
  • The bottle of cleaning fluid on Coach Z's Janitator car is labelled "DANG!" This may be a reference to the Cillit Bang range of cleaning products, a brand that gained popularity through spoofs of its overly enthusiastic spokesperson Barry Scott.


  • Strong Sad is able to write in his notebook without any problems, but in rough copy, he had trouble writing a mere sentence on a single page of the same notebook.
  • The puncture that Strong Bad makes is well above the bottom of the green apple bottle, but all the liquid leaks out anyway.
    • Also, the puncture in the glass is physically impossible. If Strong Bad poked the glass hard enough to make a hole, the whole bottle would've shattered. He would've had to use a glass cutter to make a hole that big while keeping the glass intact.
  • Homestar's trenchcoat seems to be unaffected by gravity, as it remains stiff and straight even as he bends over.
  • Strong Sad writes left-handed for the entire toon except when interviewing Coach Z where the pen is in his right hand. He is right handed in rough copy.
  • The purple liquid in the test tube Marzipan got back is more-then-likely Bubs' grape snow cone flavor.


  • The smoke from the office only wafts in the first few shots before Strong Bad speaks his account of what happened at Bubs' Concession Stand.
  • There are footprints leading to the couch, but there is no trail away from the couch.

Fixed Goofs

  • When this toon was first released, when Marzipan was walking up to Bubs' Concession Stand, she was not wearing her toga. This was fixed less than an hour after the toon was released.

Inside References

  • This is another mention of Mountain Dew.
  • Homestar's mispronunciation of DNA, and Coach Z's "mild mannered alter-ego" are references to Dan.
  • The box Strong Sad pulls the DNA Evidence out of in the last scene is from The Secrets That I Keep.
  • Strong Bad's glasses, the line "Looks like I'm gonna have to jump!", and the background music in the respective scenes are from the Dangeresque series of films.
  • Marzipan's response to the cost of "an arm and a leg" and the way the arm of Homestar's coat moves as he takes a drink are references to their lack of visible arms and, in her case, legs.
  • Homsar mentions pants.
  • This is yet another instance of both Strong Bad and Strong Sad smiling.
  • Coach Z's janitor cart reads "JANITATOR", similar to Trogdor the Burninator.
  • The vacuum cleaner and Coach Z's line about cleaning up lasagna are references to Sbemail 169 Deleted Scene.
  • Strong Bad's belief that Strong Sad may be part elephant or part hippo stems from Strong Sad's soolnds.
  • The Cheat was seen wet before in bottom 10, and also on Strong Bad's Website.

Real-World References

  • The entire structure of the toon, with a detective interviewing several people when he ultimately is the culprit, is a nod to film noir, a style of American film that peaked in the late 1940s and early 1950s.

External Links

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