Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective Responses (Brainblow City)

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Brainblow City: a town as hard as steel and twice as gray.

Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from Brainblow City in Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective.

On these pages, A → B (right arrow) means that the response happens when object A is used on thing B, or in the case of talking to other characters, the indicated sequence of chat topic icons are chosen.

A short horizontal line between two or more responses, such as the one above, means only one of the responses is heard at a time, and that the action results in a different response each time it occurs.


Brainblow City Set

On first arrival

STRONG BAD: {The camera pans away from one of the City Limits signs.} Brainblow City... {The camera view changes to Strong Bad and Coach Z approaching the "city" - rather, the brick wall with a tall painted cardboard stand behind it.) ...a town as hard as steel and twice as gray. She is like a fine lady type... treat her right and she'll make you cupcakes shaped like Cold Ones, but treat her wrong and she'll kick you in the knees, step on your face with a stiletto heel, take your wallet and totally ruin your credit score.
COACH Z: {reluctantly} Yeeaah... your woman scares me. I'll just wait here by the wall where it's safe. You go on ahead!

After the helicopter jump

{The scene re-materialises at the Brainblow City set. Homestar can be seen operating the camera and walking off, with Strong Bad standing behind him. Jump cut to Strong Bad jumping down from the Brick Wall, followed by another jump cut transitioning to his line.}

STRONG BAD: Another perfect landing out of a helicopter! Now I just need to find... {speaks slowly} ...some way to get to the Sun! Hmmm...

In extended play

ON-SCREEN CAPTION: Set Tours: Brainblow City
STRONG BAD: Here we are on the set of Brainblow City, the seedy underworld in which Dangeresque 3 takes place. {Looks at the city backdrop} Our modelers spend many halves of hours creating the sets that bring the city to life! Let's take a look around!

Brainblow City

In extended play only
STRONG BAD: This is one of the many matte paintings we used to make the Dangeresque 3 sets seem bigger than they actually are. {Turns to the camera} This one was actually painted by a guy named Matt!


Renaldo → Cutesy Buttons

STRONG BAD: Cutesy Buttons better be ready to fork over several sacks of cash for rescuing her and getting her rainforest formula!
COACH Z: {infatuated} I'd just be happy to get a hug from Marzipan.
STRONG BAD: {annoyed} What?
COACH Z: {distressed} What?! I said nothing!

STRONG BAD: Cutesy Buttons better be ready to fork over several sacks of cash for rescuing her and getting her rainforest formula!
COACH Z: If she doesn't, we'll frame her for a bank robbery and send her up the river!
STRONG BAD: That's kinda harsh!

STRONG BAD: Cutesy Buttons better be ready to fork over several sacks of cash for rescuing her and getting her rainforest formula!
COACH Z: Well, it's not about the money for me, Dangeresque. I just want to be a hero one more time before I retire.
STRONG BAD: You'll always be a hero to me, Renaldo.
COACH Z: {unsettled} ...Uncomfortable...!

STRONG BAD: Cutesy Buttons better be ready to fork over several sacks of cash for rescuing her and getting her rainforest formula!
COACH Z: Don't worry, she's an Environmental Conservationist, I'm sure she's loaded!

Renaldo → Stickanee Flower

STRONG BAD: I heard a rumor that Brainblow City is the only place left in the world where the rare Stickanee Tree can be found.
COACH Z: That's fantastic! That means we won't have to travel the globe for this case like we did back in '91 when we were on the trail of the two-legged man!
STRONG BAD: Yeah, I guess I didn't really think that one through too carefully.

STRONG BAD: You know, this isn't the first time I've come in contact with the rare Stickanee flower.
COACH Z: Are you talking about that girl in Paris again? You've gotta let that go! After all, you ended up leaving her stranded in Cairo!
STRONG BAD: {curiously} You don't think she's still mad about that?
COACH Z: Keep your head in the game, Dangeresque!

Agent Blue


STRONG BAD: Pssst... Agent W. What's the inside word?
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Turn around! The terrarium's been flooded!
STRONG BAD: {curiously} Hmmm, yes, I have no idea what that means.

STRONG BAD: The Eagle is in the Pantry...
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Tame your hunger monster, try our half-hearted taco meal!

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Please pick up your Le Burger and French Fries and leave the tulip on the counter.
STRONG BAD: Do I get any change?
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Please, stay the way you are.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: No more games, I'll take your rock and beat you with it.
STRONG BAD: Come on now, let's not make this personal!

STRONG BAD: Pssst... are you the one they call... Deep Spout?
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: On a sunny day, don't forget to bling out your power tools.
STRONG BAD: {understandingly} Right, of course!

STRONG BAD: Pssst... Code Blue... I need some info.
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: When in Rome, show off whatcha got.
STRONG BAD: But I'm not in Rome!
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: That'll be 2000 Yen.

In extended play

STRONG BAD: Ah, the Drive-Thru Whale. {Pause} I have no idea how this got in the movie. Anyone? No? Ugh, it's probably a union thing.

Nunchuck Gun → Whale

STRONG BAD: {Whips out his nunchuck gun} Put 'em up, dirtbag! {The whale's water spout flies up into the air, then reappears from inside the whale.}

If the spout is bent

STRONG BAD: {Whips out his nunchuck gun} Put 'em up, dirtbag! {The whale's water spout flies off, arcs over and knocks the box off the top of the Photo Booth, then reappears from inside the whale.}

Rock → Whale

{Strong Bad whacks the whale with the rock. The rock stops dead when it makes contact, leaving Strong Bad vibrating in reaction, cartoon-style}
{The whale's spout is now bent at an angle}

Brainblow City Prison

Brainblow City Prison

STRONG BAD: Ah, the old Brainblow City Prison. I can't tell you how many times I've broken in and out of this place. {Turns to the camera} Seriously, I can't tell you. I'm under a gag order from the courts.

In extended play

STRONG BAD: When we came up with the idea for a jail, we knew that Bubs' Concession Stand would be the perfect location. But we were surprised to learn that it actually used to be a tiny prison, and that Bubs was the only inmate!
BUBS: I used to sell foot-long hot dogs with files hidden in 'em to myself!


{First time only}
BUBS: Danger-skew!!
STRONG BAD: Listen, Diamonicle... I know you have a grudge against me for locking you up in this joint, but I need to break into some scumbag kidnapper's hideout and you are gonna help me!
BUBS: Relax! Turns out, prison's the best thing that ever happened to me! Getting shivved repeatedly in the yard really puts things into perspective. I'm a new man!
STRONG BAD: Are you sure? I was kind of looking forward to locking you in a cell and beating the answers out of you. I mean a crooked cop's gotta stay bent, right?
BUBS: {bends down} If you want, you can crack me over the head with this bottle of Bull Honkey Sport... {holds up the aforementioned can} Only $3.99 a bottle! "It's like sweatin' on the inside!"
STRONG BAD: {annoyed} Hey, I told you, no product placement!

STRONG BAD: I need some info, Diamonicle.
BUBS: I'm your inside man!

In extended play

STRONG BAD: Hey, Bubs! Say "hi" to all the fans out there!
BUBS: I don't do interviews. It's in my contract.
STRONG BAD: What? No! This isn't an interview... it's a documentary!
BUBS: Oh, well that's different. I get time-and-a-half for those!

Diamonocle → Renaldo

STRONG BAD: Good thing Renaldo isn't here right now, he hates to see hardened criminals go all soft serve. Says he's got no respect for tough guys that turn out to be wimps!
BUBS: Where is ol' Fez Head?
STRONG BAD: Ummm... He's waiting back at the brick wall... where it's safe.

Diamonocle → Diamonocle

STRONG BAD: Okay, I have a kidnapping to solve and a hideout to break into. You're gonna have to tell me all your secrets.
BUBS: Now why would I wanna do that?

Diamonocle → Diamonocle → Angel

STRONG BAD: Because, like you said, you're a new man! You've even lost a few pounds!
BUBS: {warm-heartedly} Can you really tell?
STRONG BAD: Oh yeah. Your monacle's even looking a little loose!
BUBS: I've already had it taken in twice! Well, OK, I guess I can tell you. Don't let this get out, but I never did any of that stuff myself!
{Continued below}

Diamonocle → Diamonocle → Devil

STRONG BAD: {Threateningly} Because if you don't I'll have you transferred to Tri-Lambda Penitentiary!
BUBS: With all the white-collar criminals, hackers and illegal downloaders of anime?
BUBS: You can't do that to me, man! What'll become of my street cred?
STRONG BAD: Then 'fess up, or get ready to heavily protect your pocket!
BUBS: Okay, you win, Dangeresque. The truth is, I never did any of that stuff!
{Continued below}

Diamonocle → Diamonocle → either option

{Continued from Angel or Devil options above}
STRONG BAD: {shocked} What?
BUBS: I always hired guys to do that stuff for me! If you want to break into a kidnapper's hideout and rescue the hostage, you're gonna need the two best minds in the business... but you're not gonna like it!
STRONG BAD: {annoyed} Why do people keep telling me that?
BUBS: Both are people from your past. One is an expert kidnapping solver, and the other is the man with the plan!

Diamonocle → Perducci silhouette

STRONG BAD: Who is this "man with the plan"?
BUBS: The "plan" is literally the architectural plans to the kidnapper's hideout. You'll definitely need those for breakin' in purposes! And the "man" is your long time arch enemy... Perducci! {mispronounced as "Per-dookie"}
STRONG BAD: {looks up and waves his fist} PERDUCCI!!!
BUBS: He's set up shop in an abandoned night club on the edge of Brainblow City!
{To Diamonocle → Cancel}

Diamonocle → Dadgeresque silhouette

STRONG BAD: Expert Kidnapping Solver... is that even a real job?
BUBS: It used to be. And this man was the best, that is until he got mixed up in a case that he just couldn't solve. It drove him mad! Mad I say!
STRONG BAD: Wait, I thought you said this was someone from my past. I don't know any kidnapping solvers!
BUBS: Oh, you know him more than you know that you know that you know... him... or somethin'. Ask your partner Renaldo, he'll know where to find him!

Diamonocle → Sultry Buttons

Only appears after Renaldo gets kidnapped
STRONG BAD: Let me ask you something: How do you con the lady-types out of all their expensive jewel-ery?
BUBS: Oh that's easy, man. You've just gotta find a place they find romantic, give them a couple of presents, and tell 'em you're dying of pretendicitis! They practically throw their money at you!
STRONG BAD: That could work, if I had any idea what city Sultry Buttons thought was romantic.

Diamonocle → The Sun

Only appears after Renaldo gets kidnapped
STRONG BAD: I need to get to the Sun. Got any criminal projectives for me?
BUBS: Well, you could steal yourself a rocket-powered car, or some rocket boots, or a jet-pack filled with rocket fuel.
STRONG BAD: Man, I don't know where to find any of that stuff. Maybe I can just find a rocket.

Diamonocle → Cancel

STRONG BAD: If I need any more info, I'll be back.
BUBS: You know where to find me! At least for the next 5 to 10!
The first time after speaking about the expert kidnapping solver
STRONG BAD: Thanks for the info, Diamonicle. Sounds like me and a certain "to be retired sooner than he thinks" partner of mine need to have a little talk.
{Cue wipe transition back to the Brick Wall. Strong Bad had just walked his way back.}
STRONG BAD: So, Renaldo, a little Baron tells me you know something about an expert kidnapping solver.
{Change viewpoint to Coach Z. The sound of wind hitting a microphone can clearly be heard.}
COACH Z: Uh oh. Now, I don't think that's something we should be talking about.
{Change viewpoint back to normal.}
STRONG BAD: I thought we were partners! What are you hiding from me?!
{Change view back to Coach Z. More wind can be heard.}
COACH Z: He's no good for this case, Dangeresque! Forget about him!
{Change viewpoint back to normal.}
STRONG BAD: Who?! Who are you talking about?
STRONG BAD: Dadgeresque? My father is the kidnapping solver?
COACH Z: Yes, that's why he left you. Because he went mad! He's no help to us.
STRONG BAD: Where is he now?
COACH Z: Last I heard he was wondering around Venice, but-
STRONG BAD: Then pack your bags, Renaldo! We're going to France! {Jump cut} We're going to Italy!

Big Knife → Diamonocle

STRONG BAD: {Waving around the knife} Hey, I think this would make a pretty good shiv!
BUBS: Now how would I get THAT past security? Ooh, I know! Give it here!
STRONG BAD: Ugh, whatever you have in mind is something I do NOT want to see. I think I'll hold on to it.

Blueprints → Diamonocle

STRONG BAD: {Holding out the blueprints} Take a look at this!
BUBS: Those look like the plans I sold to Perduke-cci!
STRONG BAD: You've seen these before?
BUBS: Yeah, I got a hundred of them back in my cell.

Nunchuck Gun → Diamonocle

STRONG BAD: {Whipping out his nunchuck gun} You're under arrest!
BUBS: I know I am! I'm already in prison!
STRONG BAD: Oh yeah. {Puts it away}

Romantic Photo → Diamonocle

STRONG BAD: {Holding out the photo} Check me out!
BUBS: Looking good. Hey, is that you, Sultry Buttons and a Stickanee flower? I got one of those done too! {Holds up a photo exactly like the one Strong Bad has, except that it has himself with a huge mustache in place of Dangeresque.}

Trinket → Diamonocle

STRONG BAD: {Pulling out the trinket} What do you and your criminal mind make of this?
BUBS: Hmm... maybe it's a key of some kind. I used to use big ol' chunks of metal like that to bust locks open all the time!


STRONG BAD: {reading the sign} Visiting hours: not now. {Turns to camera} I'm not really interested in having a face-to-face with guys I sent to the pokey anyway. They do not like it when I call it "the pokey".

STRONG BAD: {reading the sign} Visiting hours: not now. {Turns to camera} Guess that means come back later.

Tuft of Grass

Only clickable once
STRONG BAD: What the heck is this? {Finds a monocle}
BUBS: Oh, that's proably one of my spare monocles! It must have rolled through the bars to freedom!
STRONG BAD: I gotta remember to try this thing on myself! I wonder if it'll make me look more diabolical and German?

City Limits

City Limits Sign

Either sign
STRONG BAD: I can't go any further in this direction. It's too not dangerous enough for me to bother with.
Sign near the prison
STRONG BAD: Looks like I've reached the Brainblow City Limits. Nothing more this way but desolate wastelands and probably tar pits.
Sign near the car
STRONG BAD: I'm wanted outside Brainblow City for "Undisclothed Violations". If I go beyond this point, I could be shot on sight.

Nunchuck Gun → City Limits Sign

{First time only, and only on the sign near the prison}
STRONG BAD: {pulls out the nunchuck gun} Okay, sign, this is border control. Do you have any fruit to declare? {A bed sheet falls out of the sign} Whoa! That's way better than fruit! {Strong Bad picks it up} Wow! Dangeresque-brand Renaldo bed sheets! They wet themselves so you don't have to!


Cool Car

STRONG BAD: My trusty DangeCar-esque. I've just had all its cool gadgets upgraded to cool cool gadgets! Be patient, my high performance pal, your time to shine will come soon enough! {turns away from the car} Foreshadowing!!

In extended play

STRONG BAD: Originally, the car auto-autopilot was going to have the ability to talk back to me. But when Mr Dee Williams pulled out, we just... you know... it just didn't seem the same any more.
HOMESTAR: {Walking past, singing to the tune of Billie Jean} Billy Dee is not my lover...

Car Chase Scene

{The camera zooms in towards the car, with Strong Bad driving in it. The Cheat can be seen in the background moving a tree back and forth, simulating the car's movement.}
STRONG BAD: {holds a VCR to the side of his head} You got the- you got the Big Daddy D calling all agents! Please check in!
MARZIPAN: {voiceover} Breaker, breaker! I lost track of Renaldo, but I'm catching up fast! I'll be there as soon as I can! Over! {imitates static}
STRONG BAD: Make it snappy, Yellow 5! {camera zooms out to show Strong Mad "chasing" him} I've got a smokey on my six... and this round... sixes are wild! {puts down the VCR}
{The camera moves to give the illusion of the car taking hard corners.}
STRONG BAD: AND MY BRAKES HAVE BEEN CUT! Looks like I'll have to do some extravehicular activities. Good thing my car was recently upgraded to receive voice commands... which I'll probably only use this one time and then forget about it forever. Take over, auto-autopilot!
{Strong Bad jumps up onto the roof of the car, with the autopilot - Bubs's security robot - taking over the driving.}

After a few actions

{If Strong Bad is on the car's hood, he will jump back to the roof. A toy helicopter held by Coach Z is brought in front of the camera, with a small Cardboard Marzipan model taped onto one of its windows. Occasionally, Coach Z will spin the helicopter's main rotor with his other hand.}
MARZIPAN: {voiceover} Dangeresque, it's me! What's going on down there?
STRONG BAD: Ummm... now is not really a good time to chat. Get that chopper closer!
MARZIPAN: {voiceover} I can't get any closer! You try to be taller!


On occasion

STRONG BAD: Activate voice commands!
Autopilot → Brakes
{The Autopilot pulls the brake. Nothing happens.}
STRONG BAD: {sheepishly} Oh right, the brakes are cut.

{The Autopilot pulls the brake. Nothing happens.}
STRONG BAD: With the brakes cut, I gotta find another way to slow this car down!
Autopilot → Escape Hatch
If Strong Mad hasn't been pushed back
{The hatch door lifts, but Strong Mad closes it while running.}
STRONG BAD: Hey! Quit tailgating... unless you have some Cold Ones and potato salad to share!
If Strong Mad has been pushed back
{The hatch door opens.}
Autopilot → Missiles
{A cardboard missile - presumably thrown by The Cheat - is launched in front of the car. Nothing happens.}
STRONG BAD: Well, that was useless.
Autopilot → Oil Slick
If Strong Mad hasn't been pushed back
STRONG BAD: Let's see how well Tiny can keep up on an OIL SLICK!
{The Cheat runs under the car and pours sand onto Strong Mad's feet, who then starts to pretend to slip.}
(After the next action, Strong Mad recovers and starts running normally again.}
If Strong Mad has been pushed back
{The Cheat runs under the car and pours sand onto where Strong Mad's feet should have been.}
STRONG BAD: {turns to the camera} I guess it's only effective when people are right up all in my grill.
If Strong Mad is underneath the hatch
STRONG BAD: I wonder if this'll work again? OIL SLICK!
{The Cheat runs under the car and tips the cup of sand near Strong Mad's feet, but nothing comes out.}
Autopilot → Sawmerang
If Strong Bad hasn't obtained a Sawmerang yet
{The camera focuses to one of the tires, before showing a jump cut transition to that tire having a cardboard sawmerang placed onto it.}
STRONG BAD: Man, if there were cool tanks, or maybe a street luger driving beside me right now, they would be so totally shredded!
If the hubcaps have been deployed but not taken
{Shot of the wheel with hubcaps in place}
STRONG BAD: Huh? I guess to deploy the hubcaps again, I need to un-deploy them first. I'll have to remember to install that feature next time.
If Strong Bad already has a Sawmerang
{The camera focuses to the same tire that had a sawmerang materialize before. This time, nothing happens.}
STRONG BAD: What?! They don't replenish? Fine! I'll just have to use the one I already have.
Autopilot → Smokescreen
STRONG BAD: Hit 'em with the SMOKE SCREEN!
{Jump cut to the car now showing a firework taped onto it. A blast of smoke from it covers Strong Mad.}
STRONG BAD: Whoa! That didn't even slow him down! Must be from years of henching in smokey dives!


STRONG BAD: I'm gonna have to slow this car down the prehistoric way! {jumps down and pushes his back against the front} Owwww!!! Oww oww oww oww oww! {jumps back up}
If Strong Mad has been pushed back
STRONG MAD: {edges closer to the car} I'M GETTING CLOSER!
If Strong Mad is close to the car or hasn't been pushed back, he bumps into the hatch while running.


When on the hood
STRONG BAD: There's no way I can jump... {accentuation on "jump"} ...to the top of that hatch from here!
If Strong Mad isn't underneath the hatch door
{Strong Bad jumps onto the hatch, which starts to close as soon as he lands on it. He starts slipping on the door as he struggles to return to the roof.}
STRONG BAD: Bad idea! Bad idea! {falls onto his back and rebounds onto the roof} Oof!
MARZIPAN: {voiceover} You almost had it, Dangeresque! See if you can prop that hatch up with something!
STRONG BAD: {aloud to himself} See if you can patch your trap up with something!
MARZIPAN: {voiceover} What?
STRONG BAD: {looks up} Nothing!
If Strong Mad is underneath the hatch door
STRONG BAD: Looks like I'm gonna have to-
MARZIPAN: {voiceover, interrupts} Shut up and get up here!
{Strong Bad jumps onto the hatch and for the helicopter. He holds onto one of the railings for it, before climbing on board. The scene transitions to the inside of the helicopter.}


When on the roof
STRONG BAD: Errgh! {Jumps and reaches for the helicopter} I just can't reach it from here! I need to find a way to get higher!
When on the hood
STRONG BAD: I'm WAY too far from the helicopter! I'm not even gonna try to jump... {accentuated the same way as the catchprase "looks like I'm gonna have to jump..."} ...from here.
Nunchuck Gun → Helicopter
STRONG BAD: {Aims the nunchuck gun at the helicopter} Don't make me use this on you, Cutesy Buttons!
MARZIPAN: {Shot of her inside the helicopter} Don't you threaten me, Dangeresque. I'll leave you here!
STRONG BAD: No! Just... wait. I'll find a way to get to you!


STRONG BAD: Oh no! Killingyouguy is right on my tail in this high-speed stunt-spectacular car chase! If he catches up, I'm done for!

STRONG BAD: Aren't you getting tired yet?
Nunchuk Gun → Killingyouguy
STRONG BAD: {points the gun at Strong Mad and imitates gunfire} Pchew! Pchew! Pchow! Pchew!
STRONG BAD: Bullet proof?! That's hardly fair! {puts the gun away}
Small Rock → Killingyouguy
STRONG BAD: A puny little rock like this won't do anything against that pummeling machine!

Roof → Hood

{Strong Bad jumps to the hood.}
Hood → Roof has the same effect, albeit in reverse.


STRONG BAD: {jumps to the hood if he's not already there} Only a black belt in Pad Prik Pork like myself can remove one of these Sawmerang hubcaps while it's still spinning. {hangs off the car from the side, waiting for the perfect moment to grab the... spinning hubcap} Ennhhh... ennnhhh... {takes the Sawmerang and jumps back up to the hood} Got it!
Sawmerang → Killingyouguy
If Strong Mad isn't slipping on the oil slick
STRONG BAD: {jumps to the hood if he's not already there} This oughtta slow the big guy down! SAWMERANG!
{Strong Bad throws the Sawmerang at Strong Mad, who loses his balance while running. A jump cut shows Strong Bad's throwing animation in reverse, creating the effect of the Sawmerang rebounding back to him. Cut back to Strong Mad, regaining his balance.}
STRONG BAD: Well, he stumbled a bit, but not much else. Sure was fun though!
If Strong Mad is slipping on the oil slick
STRONG BAD: {jumps to the hood if he's not already there} Hey Killingyouguy! You should have "saw" this coming!
{Strong Bad throws the Sawmerang at Strong Mad, who gets knocked back and lands in a sitting position. A jump cut shows Strong Bad's throwing animation in reverse, creating the effect of the Sawmerang rebounding back to him. Cut back to Strong Mad, whom returned to his feet.}
STRONG MAD: YOU KNOCKED ME DOWN! {starts running, with the camera view showing that he's slightly further away from the car} NOW I'M BACK!
STRONG BAD: Whoa! That guy is unstoppable!
If Strong Mad is underneath the hatch
STRONG BAD: This oughtta slow the big guy down! SAWMERANG!
{Strong Bad throws the Sawmerage at Strong Mad, but it simply deflects off of the hatch.}

Metal Detector

STRONG BAD: {digs up a bullet} Check out this stray bullet, apparently monogrammed by... {confused} ...Killingyouguy?

Helicopter Set


{Continues from the car chase scene. Interior of the helicopter, with Marzipan at the controls.)
STRONG BAD: {seductively} What took ya so long?
MARZIPAN: Uh huh. You're lucky you made it out alive!
STRONG BAD: I had the situation totally under control, babe. And I got your formula! {gives the formula to Marzipan}
MARZIPAN: Now I can save the rainforest! I'll start by planting a nursery in my backyard! {The camera viewpoint changes to show both Strong Bad and Marzipan, the latter suddenly wearing a parachute on her back.} Goodbye Dangeresque, I'll never forget you! {jumps out of the helicopter} Ahhhhhhh...
{During the next line, the camera pans out to focus on Strong Bad. Marzipan can be seen leaving the set.}
HOMESTAR: {voiceover, imitates static} Dangeresque, it is I, Uzi Bazooka!
{Jump cut to Strong Bad holding the VCR to his head.}
STRONG BAD: You're too late, Bazooka! I already gave the formula back to Cutesy Buttons!
HOMESTAR: {voiceover} I don't care about the formula! I never did! I just want to make you suffer! And now I have kidnapped your partner, Renaldo!
COACH Z: {voiceover; the camera shakes during his line} Dangeresque! Don't listen to him!
HOMESTAR: {voiceover} I'm taking him to my secret space station on the sun! If you want to save him, come and get him! {gets confused about the line's emphasis} ...Come and GET him... COME and get him... come AND get him... Yeah, go with the first one.
{Strong Bad lowers the VCR unamusingly. Cue a jump cut to him standing near the helicopter's entrance.}
STRONG BAD: Yep. Looks like I'm seriously gonna have to jump! {jumps out from the entrance}
{The player is taken back to the Brainblow City Set at this point.}


STRONG BAD: Oh, that is just... nothing. {Walks behind the camera} Strong Sad, I told you to strike the helicopter set! {There is a thump and the camera shakes}
STRONG SAD: Ow! I said I'll get it later!

Kidnapper's Hideout

The player is automatically taken here after obtaining the plans and rescuing the hostage.
{The Kidnapper's Hideout set is located at the top of Bubs' Concession Stand. The scene begins with Strong Bad climbing to the roof.}
STRONG BAD: {grunt} Come on guys, according to... {pulls himself onto the roof with another grunt} ...Perducci's plans, the best way to break in is through the roof!
{The camera swings around, showing Homestar present in the scene.}
HOMESTAR: That's what I wanted you to think! You fell right into our trap!
{The camera pans out to show him standing near Strong Mad and the Cheat, with Marzipan standing behind them. The camera then changes viewpoint to show Strong Bad, now standing near Coach Z and Senor Cardgage.}
COACH Z: Holy gorsh! It's Dangeresque Too?
STRONG BAD: {shocked} Dangeresque Too? How could you? And with such an awesome name. {raises his fist and speaks bitterly and slowly} I thought we were friends!
SENOR CARDGAGE: {walks around behind Strong Bad} Is this where I pawnder my old pidgeon?
{Camera view changes back to Homestar.}
HOMESTAR: You thought wrong, Dangeresque! Call me... UZI BAZOOKA!
THE CHEAT: {lowers his bazooka} Mehr!
HOMESTAR: Now, give me the formula and I'll give you this computer disk of highly important rocket launch codes! {holds up a blue floppy disk}
COACH Z: Hey! Professor Experimento's launch codes! We need those!
STRONG BAD: No dice, traitor Joe!
HOMESTAR: Oh yeah, well what if I... {raises a blue toy gun} ...shoot your dad?
{A gunshot sound effect is heard. The scene changes perspective, now showing Senor Cardgage on the ground clutching his chest with one hand and his head lying on some newspaper - apparently sleeping.}
STRONG BAD: {looks up, distressed} NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
HOMESTAR/THE CHEAT/STRONG MAD: {off-sync with each other} HA HA HA HA HA!!
STRONG BAD: No, Dad! {crouches down towards Senor Cardgage} Don't you... sniff... die on me!
COACH Z: {concerned} Oh, he don't look too good.
STRONG BAD: {anguished} Don't do this, Dad! You have to hang on! Did you ever know that you're my hero? We've only just begun! You're the wind beneath my wings! Umm... She Bop!
COACH Z: {subdued} He's gone, Dangeresque.
{During Coach Z's line, Senor Cardgage is seen leaving the scene.}
STRONG BAD: {anguished} WHYYY!!! He was my father! It's not fair! Oh cruel world! {pronounced "cru-elle wuh-rorld"} {starts speaking distraughtfully} How could you take my only father from me? Why now? Whhhyyyyy?! {angrily turns towards Homestar} BAAZZOOOKAAAA!!!! {Pulls out his nunchuk gun}
{A Mexican stand-off commences, with everyone aiming guns at everyone else. During this scene, Marzipan will advance one space to the right per action, if she is able. If any of the bad guys backs into her, they will catch her and send her back to the start.}


{Strong Mad and The Cheat jump to the front row, Homestar jumps to the back.}
{First time only}
STRONG BAD: Hold it right there, Wide Load!
COACH Z: All we want is the girl!
STRONG BAD: And the disks! Don't forget the disks.
HOMESTAR: No way, Jose! {Pronounces it with the J}

The Cheat

{Homestar and The Cheat jump to the front row, Strong Mad jumps to the back.}
{First time only}
STRONG BAD: Give me what I want or I'll shoot your fuzzy little buddy!
COACH Z: He'll do it! I've seen him exterminate yellow spotted hamsters before!
THE CHEAT: {annoyed} Mrrreehhhh!
HOMESTAR: Whoa, whoa, whoa... take it easy! Ix-nay on the amster-hay!

Uzi Bazooka

{Homestar and Strong Mad jump to the front row, The Cheat jumps to the back.}
{First time only}
STRONG BAD: You killed my father! Prepare to... {speaks quickly} ...have a bullet from my Nunchuk Gun pierce your flesh causing internal injuries and bleeding which, if left unchecked, could cause you to die!
COACH Z: That's far enough!
STRONG BAD: Hand over the girl and the disks, scumball... bag!
HOMESTAR: Forget it, Dingle-esque! Besides, these aren't even my stolen disks of important launch codes. I'm just holding them for Perducci!


{Homestar jumps to the front row, Strong Mad and The Cheat jump to the back.}
{First time only}
STRONG BAD: Renaldo, tell Bazooka we want the girl and the disks!
COACH Z: Ahhh! Bazooka, we want the girl and the disks!
COACH Z: He said no. Sorry, Dangeresque, I did my best.

If Killingyouguy bumps into Cutesy Buttons

MARZIPAN: Ooops! I'll... just be back over here. {goes back to her starting position}

If The Cheat bumps into Cutesy Buttons

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}
MARZIPAN: Okay, okay, I'm going back! {goes back to her starting position}

If Uzi Bazooka bumps into Cutesy Buttons

HOMESTAR: Hey, just where do you think YOU'RE going, Missy?
MARZIPAN: Who, me? Uh, nowhere. Just... gonna go back over here. {goes back to her starting position}

When Cutesy Buttons reaches the disk

{Marzipan walks to Homestar's left and pinches the disk from him.}
MARZIPAN: I've got the disks! Good work stalling them until I could clear an escape route, Dangeresque!
HOMESTAR: Hey, you tricked me! Take 'em down, Killingyouguy!
STRONG BAD: {turns away from Homestar, with Marzipan and Coach Z doing the same} Uh oh! Looks like we're gonna have to jump!!
{All three prepare to jump. The scene cuts to the jump being enacted by their respective stunt doubles - Strong Sad, Cardboard Marzipan and a bonsai tree with Coach Z's Z, though Cardboard Marzipan and the bonsai tree are the wrong way around. All three of them land flat on their faces. Cue a jump cut to Strong Bad, Marzipan and Coach Z standing up from that position, in the same order as they were on the roof.}
COACH Z: That was close! {points ahead of him} Uh oh, here they come!
STRONG BAD: Everybody scatter! We'll meet up at the rendez-vous {pronounced "rondess-vouce"} point!
{All three run in different directions. After they all leave, Coach Z walks to the other side of the camera's viewpoint, presumably to turn it off. The player is automatically taken to the car chase scene at this point.}

Shark Pond

Shark Pond

Before Credenza gets put in
STRONG BAD: {looks directly at the water} Man, those sure are some... way under the water sharks!
While Credenza is in the pond
STRONG BAD: Hah! That ought to get Cutesy Buttons' attention!
In extended play
STRONG BAD: The shark pond set also doubles as a lava pit, a pie factory, a piranha sandwich and a curséd kiddie pool.

Plant → Shark Pond

STRONG BAD: Okay, stupid plant. Can you swim? 'Cause you're about to get... WATERED! {Tosses the plant into the pond}

Stickanee Flower → Shark Pond

STRONG BAD: {Holds the flower over the pond} Whoa, those sharks are going crazy over this dumb flower! I wonder if they're vegetarians. I better not get too close, I need this flower. {Puts it away}

Snap Shak


On first entry
STRONG BAD: I guess it could't hurt to have a few more mug shots made. {Goes inside} Hey, I remember this place! This is the old Inter-galactional Department of Under Cover Disguises!
First entry in extended play
STRONG BAD: This is our wardrobe department. Follow me! {Goes inside}
On entry
STRONG BAD: I'm ready for my close-up!

STRONG BAD: Okay, let's do this!

STRONG BAD: Time for some modeling styles!
On exit
STRONG BAD: Catch ya on the flip side, The Cheat!

STRONG BAD: Well, I gues I'd better get back to... whatever it was I was doing before.

STRONG BAD: That's enough modeling for today.
When falling over the edge
STRONG BAD: Hoop! {Falls from above, or horizontally across the floor} Aaahh! {Lands back where he started}

{Every third time, and when already inverted}
STRONG BAD: Hoop! Whoa! {Lands on the other side of the floor}
When finding the secret clothing item
{First time only}
STRONG BAD: Looking good!

The Cheat

THE CHEAT: {Quizzical The Cheat noises}
STRONG BAD: Yeah I want my picture taken!
THE CHEAT: {Extended oration in Cheat-speak}
STRONG: BAD: Hang on, I'm gonna need some help. The Paper, take a note! {The Paper comes down, containing instructions for using the photo booth}

Any clothing item → Strong Bad

The following lines are spoken only occasionally, but in order, when some item is put on. If an item has a unique line listed below, that line is always spoken the first time the item is put on, and only the first time.
STRONG BAD: Soak it in, ladies.

STRONG BAD: Styles upon styles!

STRONG BAD: Who, me?

STRONG BAD: Let's-a do lunch.

STRONG BAD: Whatever, baby.

STRONG BAD: I'm on a collision course with sultriness...



STRONG BAD: Check me out!

STRONG BAD: Is this me or what?

STRONG BAD: Why yes, I HAVE done some modeling before.

STRONG BAD: Lookin' good!

STRONG BAD: Jarring!

STRONG BAD: Ohh, ah-ha-ha!

STRONG BAD: Do you have the time?


Carabowdit Hair → Strong Bad
STRONG BAD: What? Yeah, it's a girl's wig, so what? I got book smarts! I don't need look smarts!
Homestar's Head → Strong Bad
STRONG BAD: {In Homestar voice} Oh, hewwo. I'm a no-armed whitey. I wrote the book on having a stupid butt. It's called "Tennis Pwactice for Jeffwey".
Knit Cap → Strong Bad
STRONG BAD: I'm ready for the big heist! Those smoky red laser beams don't stand a chance when I'm in this get up!
Red Chef Hat → Strong Bad
STRONG BAD: Today we're making The Cheat a L'Orange. It's considered a delicacy in East Strong Badia.


Max Shirt → Strong Bad
STRONG BAD: This is the most rarest, awesomest shirt ever! I have got to get a picture of me in this to make all my friends jeal-aws! Man, they only wish they had this hotness!
Sports Jacket → Strong Bad
STRONG BAD: I'll see you in court! Or Wall Street! ...or something.


Championship Belt → Strong Bad
STRONG BAD: Well that's right, announcerman, the Sizzle-Weight Belt is back where it belongs! And Jack-em-up Kid, you're going down! ... kid.
Thin Mustache → Strong Bad
STRONG BAD: {In Old-Timey Strong Bad voice} I'll tie you to the dastardly train tracks! And wear a cape for no good reason!


King of Town's Crown + King of Town's Beard → Strong Bad
STRONG BAD: Doo-hoo-hoo! I'm the King of Town! Faaaat! Faaaaaaaaaaaat! That's the sound of me breathing.


When it's on the roof of the photo booth
STRONG BAD: {struggles to reach for the box} I can't... quite... reach it...!
When it's on the ground
STRONG BAD: {Looks underneath} Awesome. {Finds a hat} Oh man. {Calling} Wardrobe! Someone left this out! {Angrily} No no, I'll take care of it. I'll just put it back in the photo booth myself.

Small Rock → Box

When it's on the roof of the photo booth
STRONG BAD: {Throws the rock at the box. It doesn't move} Well... that was useless.

The Stick

Stickanee Tree

Before the flower gets picked
STRONG BAD: The rare Stickanee. Looks like this was the last flower on the last tree. Good thing I got that Lorax framed for murder!
After the flower gets picked
STRONG BAD: It does look kinda plain now. Just some dead branches hangin' off.

STRONG BAD: {anguished} Oh, what have I done?! In an attempt to save the rainforest I've wiped out an entire forest of tree!

STRONG BAD: You know what? I don't even care. Rare plant extinctor is the 12th profession listed on my business card.
In extended play
STRONG BAD: I know it's impossible to tell, but the rare Stickanee Tree in this movie was actually... a-THE STICK! The Stick spent nine hours a day with a team of seven make-up artists, thirteen puppeteers, and seven... er, key grips, just to complete the illusion.

Diet Cola → Stickanee Tree

{First time only}
STRONG BAD: Here you go, little stick. {Pours cola on the stick, causing it to produce a box of cereal} Whoa! You sprouted a... something!

Formula → Stickanee Tree will have the same effect

Knife → Stickanee Tree

If Strong Bad does not have a branch
STRONG BAD: Don't worry, The Stick, this is gonna hurt me a lot more than it hurts you. Actually, that's a really big lie I just told you right there just now. {Pulls out the knife and swings it past the Stick, producing a branch lying on the ground}
If Strong Bad already has a branch
STRONG BAD: I'm not THAT cruel. No need to hack off another branch when I already have one!

Safety Scissors → Stickanee Tree

STRONG BAD: These safety scissors are probably sharp enough to cut through oatmeal, melted butter, or freshly baked milkshakes, but there is no way they can take down this mighty timber!


{Strong Bad picks up the branch without saying anything.}

Cereal Box

STRONG BAD: {Takes the box} This actually looks like a nutritious part of your healthy breakfast, and not at all like a cheap marketing tie-in that has absolutely nothing to do with this movie!


STRONG BAD: This must be the rare Stickanee flower that Professor Experimento needs for the formula. I'll just carefully remove this last delicate blossom... {takes it}

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