Dangeresque Roomisode 1: Behind the Dangerdesque Responses

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===Camera===
===Camera===
-
====Look====
+
====While it's in the safe====
 +
=====Look=====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Ooh! It's my Snoopeur 200 Telefoto Instant Camera. Oh, the things we've illegally surveilled.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Ooh! It's my Snoopeur 200 Telefoto Instant Camera. Oh, the things we've illegally surveilled.
-
====Get/Use====
+
=====Get/Use=====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Bet I could take some seriously compromising photographs with this baby.
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Bet I could take some seriously compromising photographs with this baby.
:''{Takes Camera from safe, adds to inventory}''
:''{Takes Camera from safe, adds to inventory}''
-
====Talk To====
+
=====Talk To=====
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I'm gonna GET you!
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I'm gonna GET you!
 +
====Use on blinds====
 +
=====With blinds closed=====
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I should open the blinds first.
 +
=====With nothing on windowsill=====
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Whoa, look at that shlump!
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' That guy's just a victim waiting to happen.
 +
=====With coffee on windowsill=====
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' That sad sack is definitely not the "World's Best Crooked Cop!"
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I'm not takin' this shot.
 +
=====With UNSOLVED stamp on windowsill=====
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Watch out Lord Fatmonger!
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' A giant rubber stamp is trying to assault you!
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I'm not takin' this shot.
 +
=====With inked UNSOLVED stamp on windowsill=====
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Watch out Lord Fatmonger!
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' That saucy rubber stamp is gonna get saucy on you!
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I'm not takin' this shot.
 +
=====With whoozit on windowsill=====
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Well, one hideous sack deserves another.
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I'm not takin' this shot.
 +
=====With takeout on windowsill=====
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' Now HERE'S a shot I can use!
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' It totally looks like the Dragon Man is kung-fuing that fat slob!
 +
=====If picture has already been taken=====
 +
:'''DANGERESQUE:''' I'm outta film. Plus, I already got the money shot.
===Kung-Fu Takeout===
===Kung-Fu Takeout===

Revision as of 11:15, 2 December 2008

These are all of the responses in Dangeresque Roomisode 1: Behind the Dangerdesque.

Spoiler warning: Plot or ending details follow.

Contents

Intro

DANGERESQUE: Man. That warehaus was full of action and suspense.
THE CHIEF: DANGERESQUE! YOU'RE OUTTA LINE!
DANGERESQUE: Oh crap! It's the Chief! I was supposed to solve a case for him months ago.
THE CHIEF: YOU'RE A LOOSE CANNON! A LONER! WHEN YOU'RE AROUND, PEOPLE GET HURT, DANGERESQUE!
DANGERESQUE: Hey, that's what it says on my business cards!
THE CHIEF: IF YOU DON'T WALK OUT THIS DOOR WITH MY CASE SOLVED, I'M LOCKIN' YOU UP!
DANGERESQUE: Sounds like he means it. Better try and "solve" his case, quick.
DANGERESQUE: {thinking} Now where'd I put that case file...

Non-Inventory

Dangeresque

Look

{Chosen in order.}
DANGERESQUE: Do these laces make my head look husky?

DANGERESQUE: I look ready for love, a gunfight, a car chase, and a small salad all at once!

DANGERESQUE: Who's the expensive action star with the cheapest costume ever-DANGERESQUE! Ooh, you dang right.

Get/Use

{Dangeresque jumps in a direction away from the player while in place, putting his hands in the air as he does so.}
DANGERESQUE: {After he jumps} Hee hee! {As he says this, he nods his head.}

Talk To

{Chosen in order}
DANGERESQUE: {Faces away from the player.} Oh Dangeresque! You're so manly and my husband The Chief is so balding and football watchy. Let's keep making out
THE CHIEF: I'm NOT FALLIN' FOR THAT CRAP AGAIN! GLADYS HAS BEEN DEAD FOR 30 YEARS!
DANGERESQUE: Oh jeez. Uh, sorry The Chief.
THE CHIEF: HA! JUST KIDDING! NO WOMAN WILL COME WITHIN 20 FEET OF ME!
DANGERESQUE: Um, touche'?

DANGERESQUE: {Faces away from the player.} Looks like I'm gonna have to juuuuuuump!
THE CHIEF: HE'S JUMPIN' OUT THE WINDOW! CALL FOR BACKUP! SEAL OFF THE BUILDING! TAKE THE SHOT!
DANGERESQUE: Heh heh. I love doin' that.
THE CHIEF: HEY!

DANGERESQUE: {Faces to the player's left.} You think you're real hot stuff around here don't you Dangeresque?
DANGERESQUE: {Faces to the player's right.} Hotter than you, Kowalski.
DANGERESQUE: {Faces to the player's left.} You wanna go toe to toe with me?!
DANGERESQUE: {Faces to the player's right.} I'd probably get athlete's foot.
DANGERESQUE: {Faces to the player's left.} Heh. You're alright Dangeresque. You're aaall riiiight.

Lamp

Look

DANGERESQUE: You just keep doing your swing thing, man. Swing it out.

Get/Use

DANGERESQUE: Prolly just use the switch, no?

Talk To

DANGERESQUE: Excuse me my good Lamp... Do you know the times?

Switch

Look

DANGERESQUE: It was expensive but I finally upgraded to include the OFF package.

Get/Use

{When light is on; Dangeresque goes to the switch and turns it off}
DANGERESQUE: Better make it more romantic in here in case a leggy dame stops by.
THE CHIEF: Hey! Don't discount my gams! I'm on the stairmaster all the time!
DANGERESQUE: Quiet you!

{When light is off; Dangeresque goes to the switch and turns it on}
DANGERESQUE: Yeah, it's kinda hard to see. My cool, cool nightvision goggles are in the shop.

Talk To

DANGERESQUE: Dangeresque doesn't RAVE, switchy.

Rug

Look

{When rug is flat}
DANGERESQUE: Got this for 10 bucks at a "Rugs 4 Thugs" auction. All proceeds benefit underpriviledged mid-level enforcers everywhere!

{When rug corner is raised, lights on}
DANGERESQUE: There's something faintly scribbled on the floorboards.

{When rug corner is raised, lights off and blinds open}
DANGERESQUE: I can't see anything under the rug in all this moonlight.

{When rug corner is raised, lights off and blinds closed}
DANGERESQUE: Hey! It's the combination to my safe! 73!
DANGERESQUE: {thinking} I forgot I wrote it in invisible, glow-in-the-dark ink!

Get/Use

{When rug is flat; Dangeresque lifts corner of the rug}
DANGERESQUE: Hands up, Floor!

{When rug corner is raised; Dangeresque flattens out the rug}
DANGERESQUE: Go away, small part of floor!

Talk To

{When rug is flat}
DANGERESQUE: Lookin' rectangulous, rug.

{When rug corner is raised}
DANGERESQUE: Freeze, dust mites!

Door

Look

DANGERESQUE: It says, "EUQSEREGNAD". And there's a The Chief seething behind it.
DANGERESQUE: {thinking} Man, listen to that guy seethe.

Get/Use

{Chosen in order}
DANGERESQUE: I better solve the Chief's case first.

DANGERESQUE: I REALLY better solve the Chief's case first.
THE CHIEF: YEAH YOU BETTER!
DANGERESQUE: {thinking} I really better stop talking to myself so loud.
THE CHIEF: YEAH YOU BETTER!

DANGERESQUE: Yeah, y'know what? Screw this! Dangeresque doesn't take orders from anybody!
{opens door}
THE CHIEF: IZZAT SO?
DANGERESQUE: Oh, hi giant SWAT team. What's up?
{A giant hand in a blue glove reaches in and grabs Dangeresque and pulls him from the room. Game Over sequence.}

Talk To

{Chosen in order}
DANGERESQUE: What did you want again, The Chief?
THE CHIEF: YOU SOLVE MY FRIGGIN' CASE RIGHT NOW OR I'M TAKIN' YOU TO THE HOOSEGOW!
DANGERESQUE: Oh right. Forgot already.

DANGERESQUE: Hey, The Chief, do you respect me as an artist?
THE CHIEF: SOLVE MY FRIKKIN' CASE ALREADY!!
DANGERESQUE: Sorry. My bad. Admittedly, that was off-topic.

DANGERESQUE: What's a 7-letter word for "to shamble one down"?
THE CHIEF: I'LL SHAMBLE YOU DOWN IN THE STATE PEN!
{banging on the door, which bursts open}
DANGERESQUE: {to the player} I bring-a this on-a myself.
{Game Over sequence}

Blinds

Look

{When closed}
DANGERESQUE: These blinds are keeping me from seeing the city at large.

{When open}
DANGERESQUE: Man, that city is SO at large. And so is that fat guy watching TV in that apartment over there.

Get/Use

DANGERESQUE: You got it, hoss.
{If blinds are closed, opens blinds; if blinds are open, closes blinds}

Talk To

{When closed}
DANGERESQUE: Thanks for providing the appropriate noir atmosphere, blinds.

{When open}
DANGERESQUE: HEY FAT GUY WATCHING TV!! Nope, can't hear me.

Ashtray

Look

DANGERESQUE: It's an ashtray. The ash meter is on 'E'

Get/Use

DANGERESQUE: No thanks. That would get me all ashen. Faced.

Talk To

DANGERESQUE: Your ash is grash!

Dangerdesque

Look

DANGERESQUE: The Dangerdesque is built to withstand gunshots, slammed-down badges, and impromptu makeouts with femme fatales.

Get/Use

{When desque is closed}
DANGERESQUE: This whole system is outta line!!
{pounds the desque, which pops open}

{When desque is open}
DANGERESQUE: Policy?! How did policy help that poor innocent girl?!
{pounds the desque, which closes}

Talk To

DANGERESQUE: Excuse me my good Dangerdesque... Do you know the times?

Safe

Look

{When safe is closed, or when safe is open, after taking camera}
DANGERESQUE: Look safe? It looks safe.

{When safe is open, before taking camera}
DANGERESQUE: Look safe? It looks safe. There's a camera all up in there!

Get/Use

{Before finding the combination}
DANGERESQUE: Crapdangle! I forgot the 2-digit combination.
DANGERESQUE: {thinking} Maybe I wrote it down somewhere.

{After finding the combination, opening for the first time}
DANGERESQUE: Dangcrapple! I remembered the combination!
{Opens safe}

{After first opening, when safe is closed}
DANGERESQUE: Open safe. Sounds like some kinda doorknob.

{When safe is open; closing safe}
DANGERESQUE: Close safe. Sounds like some kinda laundry detergent.

Talk To

DANGERESQUE: Dangeresque NEVER plays it safe!

Telephone

Look

DANGERESQUE: This phone helps me take a proverbial bite out of proverbial crime.

Get/Use

{When you don't have the number, or after Pom Pom dislodges the takeout from the safetop}
DANGERESQUE: We're sending help immediately, Mrs. Fletcher!

{When you have the number, before trying to take the take-out from the top of the safe}
DANGERESQUE: Hello? Kung-Fu Dragon? I, uh, just wanted to say what a cool name you have. Okay, bye.
{Hangs up}
DANGERESQUE: {thinking} Prolly should have a reason to call them first.

{When you have the number, after trying to take the take-out from the top of the safe}
DANGERESQUE: Hello? Kung-Fu Dragon? I have a take-out tech support issue. A Take Support issue, if you will. Can you send a specialist right away? Thanks!
{Hangs up. Pom Pom peeks in the window, then jumps in and kicks the takeout off of the safe, and jumps back out the window}
DANGERESQUE: Nice!
DANGERESQUE: {thinking} Note to self: don't ever mess with the takeout delivery guy.

Talk To

{Same as Get/Use.}

Chair

Look

DANGERESQUE: I've slept more hours in that office chair than I have in beds. You just can't slouch properly in a bed.

Get/Use

DANGERESQUE: Oooh I love this! Whee!
{Jumps into the chair, spinning it for a few seconds. Gets off}
{Before drinking the coffee or eating the Chinese take-out}
DANGERESQUE: Whoa! Feelin' woozy.

{After only eating the Chinese take-out}
DANGERESQUE: Uh oh. *burp* That was close. Almost had the Return of the Kung-Fu Dragon there.

{After only drinking the coffee}
DANGERESQUE: Oh jeez. *urp* Phew. The 2 year old creamer in that coffee doesn't fool around.

{After both drinking the coffee and eating the Chinese take-out}
DANGERESQUE: Aw nuts. *hurk* Here comes trouble.
{Turns away from player to puke, turns back with puke-filled paper bag}
DANGERESQUE: I'll just, uh, send this to the "boys" down at the, um, "lab".

{After puking}
DANGERESQUE: No more turkish twist. I have my bag of whoozit.

{if desque drawer is open}

Sweet/Sour Sauce

Look

DANGERESQUE: Eww. Looks like some sweet n' sour sauce oozed onto my safe.

Get/Use

DANGERESQUE: I'm not layin' a glove on that stuff! It'd probably get stuck there.

Talk To

DANGERESQUE: Don't gimme none o' your talk-sauce!

Biz Card

Look

{First time}
DANGERESQUE: Hey! It's the number for Kung-Fu Dragon takeout! 555-KUFU. I can remember that.

{after first time}
DANGERESQUE: I already got those digits memorized. And I like how it looks on the floor.

Get/Use

{Same as Look}

Talk To

DANGERESQUE: STAY DOWN!

Inventory

STUB'D! This section of the page is incomplete. You can help the Homestar Runner Wiki by expanding it.

Camera

While it's in the safe

Look
DANGERESQUE: Ooh! It's my Snoopeur 200 Telefoto Instant Camera. Oh, the things we've illegally surveilled.
Get/Use
DANGERESQUE: Bet I could take some seriously compromising photographs with this baby.
{Takes Camera from safe, adds to inventory}
Talk To
DANGERESQUE: I'm gonna GET you!

Use on blinds

With blinds closed
DANGERESQUE: I should open the blinds first.
With nothing on windowsill
DANGERESQUE: Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
DANGERESQUE: Whoa, look at that shlump!
DANGERESQUE: That guy's just a victim waiting to happen.
With coffee on windowsill
DANGERESQUE: Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
DANGERESQUE: That sad sack is definitely not the "World's Best Crooked Cop!"
DANGERESQUE: I'm not takin' this shot.
With UNSOLVED stamp on windowsill
DANGERESQUE: Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
DANGERESQUE: Watch out Lord Fatmonger!
DANGERESQUE: A giant rubber stamp is trying to assault you!
DANGERESQUE: I'm not takin' this shot.
With inked UNSOLVED stamp on windowsill
DANGERESQUE: Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
DANGERESQUE: Watch out Lord Fatmonger!
DANGERESQUE: That saucy rubber stamp is gonna get saucy on you!
DANGERESQUE: I'm not takin' this shot.
With whoozit on windowsill
DANGERESQUE: Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
DANGERESQUE: Well, one hideous sack deserves another.
DANGERESQUE: I'm not takin' this shot.
With takeout on windowsill
DANGERESQUE: Let's see what degree murders I can witness today.
DANGERESQUE: Now HERE'S a shot I can use!
DANGERESQUE: It totally looks like the Dragon Man is kung-fuing that fat slob!
If picture has already been taken
DANGERESQUE: I'm outta film. Plus, I already got the money shot.

Kung-Fu Takeout

While it's on the safe

Look
DANGERESQUE: Some 5-year old takeout from Kung-Fu Dragon.
DANGERESQUE: I keep it around cause there's a cool picture of a Dragon Man doing Kung-Fu on it.
Get/Use

{Dangeresque gets on his tiptoes and extends his arms upward. After a brief moment he gives up and stands normally.}

DANGERESQUE: Nnnng! It's stuck to the top of the safe!
DANGERESQUE: I'm gonna need to hire a Takeout-Stuck-To-The-Safe Cracker for this one.
Talk To
DANGERESQUE: And the Kung-Fu Dragon Chinese Takeout comes in the niiiight! (they're open late)

Bag of whoosit

Use on Blinds
DANGERESQUE: Gramma used to do this to cool hers off.

While it's on the Windowsill

Look
DANGERESQUE: It looks so delicious steaming on the windowsill there...wait, what?
Get/Use
DANGERESQUE: Wish there was a better place for this.

{Dangeresque takes bag from window.}

DANGERESQUE: Bag 'em up, Chuck.
Talk To
DANGERESQUE: Bag of whoosit, there's something me and the guys need to tell you about hygiene.

"Need to WASD"

{When the player trys to "Get/Use" the Dangerdesque from the side farthest from the door}

DANGERESQUE: {Thinking} I need to WASD myself to the front of the desk for full dramatic effect.

{When the player trys to "Get/Use" the Chair from anywhere but the bottom side of the desk}

DANGERESQUE: {Thinking} I need to WASD myself below that chair to get the jump on it.

{When the player trys to "Get/Use" any other object, except the door, the safe, and the casefile, from too far away}

DANGERESQUE: {Thinking} I need to WASD myself closer.

Fun Facts

Inside References

  • "Stairmaster" is a reference to A Jorb Well Done.
  • Talking to certain objects will have Dangeresque ask the object "Do you know the times?", as Homestar Runner asked of the Monstrosity in animal.
  • When Dangeresque talks to the Chinese food container, he references a line from Trogdor's theme song.
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