First Time Here?

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 22:14, 15 December 2004

This is a website!

The welcome speech for first-time viewers of the Homestar Runner website. Directed by the fictional Cherry Greg.

Cast (in order of appearance): Cherry Greg, Homestar Runner, Strong Bad

Page title: HomestarRunner.com Welcome Speech

Transcript

{Homestar Runner stands in a field. We see him though a video camera with a blinking red "Record" light.}

OFF-CAMERA: Homestarrunner dot com welcome speech, Take 1. Action!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello! {In bold are the words that appear on the screen as Homestar says them.} Welcome to Homestarrunner.net.

OFF-CAMERA: It's "dot com".

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, right. Homestarrunner dot net. "Its dot com!"

OFF-CAMERA: Cut!

{bleep}

OFF-CAMERA: Homestarrunner dot com welcome speech, take 2.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello! I'm Homestar Runner. ... {whispers} Line?

OFF-CAMERA: {whispers} Welcome.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Welcome! ... {whispers} Line?

OFF-CAMERA: {whispers} To.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: To! ... {whispers} Line?

OFF-CAMERA: {whispers} Homestarrunner dot com.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Something.com!

OFF-CAMERA: Cut!

{bleep}

OFF-CAMERA: Take 6.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Welcome aboard the USS Homestarrunner.com. I am your captain, Homestar Runner--

OFF-CAMERA: Cut!

{bleep}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Bienvenidos a Homestarrunner.com. �Conoces a Miguel? �S�! Somos buenos amigos--

OFF-CAMERA: {annoyed} English!

{bleep}

OFF-CAMERA: Take 13.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay, this time I'm totally gonna get it. Seriously you guys.

OFF-CAMERA: ... Go ahead, we're rolling.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh! I am Homestar, and This is A Website!

{bleep}

OFF-CAMERA: Take 25.

{Homestar Runner is revealed wearing a ridiculous costume (see the Fun Facts).}

OFF-CAMERA: Cut! No.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What??

{bleep}

OFF-CAMERA: Take 126.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello! I'm Homestar Runner! ... Isn't that great?

STRONG BAD: {shouting from off-camera} Ahh, I can't take it anymore!

{Strong Bad runs on camera and punches Homestar Runner out of the frame.}

STRONG BAD: {sarcastic, imitating Homestar} Hello, and welcome to I'm a Big Moron Who Can't Remember His Lines Dot Com! {not sarcastic} No, seriously. I'm Strong Bad, and you don't know it yet, but I'm the reason you're here.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {peeking in from off-camera} It's true.

STRONG BAD: Check me out! No, seriously, check me out. Sooooo... take a look around. I strongly recommend checking out the Strong Bad E-Mails. And this cartoon's not bad. And this game's pretty fun. I mean, I played it.

{Links to Strong Bad Email, A Jorb Well Done, and the Homestar Talker appear.}

Fun Facts

• The Spanish dialog that Homestar Runner says translates (roughly) to "Welcome to Homestarrunner dot com. Do you know Miguel? Yes! We are good friends!"
• Homestar Runner wears a different costume in Take 25 each time you watch, including:
  • Nothing (Naked!)
  • Witch
  • Sailor
  • Clown
• By the time they get to take 126, the clapslate states that they are on roll 11. Assuming that they are filming with standard 400-ft, 35mm rolls, which average about ten minutes of footage per roll, by this point they would have been trying to film scene one for nearly two hours. This makes sense because it is take 126, and each take would probably be a minute or less.
• Some Homestar Runner fans actually started a website with the domain name "imabigmoronwhocantrememberhislines.com", but this has since reverted back to the domain sponsor.
• The site "something.com" does exist, but the only content as of July 28th, 1995 [1] is the word Something.
• The site "homestarrunner.net" also exists. Once it was a thriving forum of Homestar Runner fans, but it has since shut down.
• The site usshomestarrunner.com is also another H*R fan site.
• Strong Bad's line, "You don't know it yet, but I'm the reason you're here," is a reference to the fact that the character of Strong Bad has long been more popular than Homestar Runner himself.

External Links

• watch "First Time Here?"
• view the flash file for "First Time Here?