First Time Here?

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 18:25, 7 April 2020

"Oh, I am Homestar, and this is a website!"

The welcome speech for first-time viewers of homestarrunner.com. Directed by Cherry Greg.

Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Clapper Loader, Cherry Greg, Strong Bad

Places: The Field

Date: Thursday, March 28, 2002

Running Time: 1:52

Page title: HomestarRunner.com Welcome Speech

DVD: Everything Else, Volume 1

Transcript

{Homestar Runner stands in a field, with a clapperboard obstructing the view. The screen is overlaid with a video camera frame including a blinking red "Record" light.}

CLAPPER LOADER: Homestarrunner dot com welcome speech, take 1. {snaps clapperboard and moves it away so Homestar becomes visible}

CHERRY GREG: Action!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello! {In bold are the words that appear on the screen as Homestar says them.} Welcome to Homestarrunner.net.

CHERRY GREG: It's "dot com".

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, right. Homestarrunner dot net. "It's dot com!"

CHERRY GREG: Cut!

{bip}

CLAPPER LOADER: Homestarrunner dot com welcome speech, take 2. {snaps clapperboard and moves it away from Homestar}

CHERRY GREG: Action!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello! I'm Homestar Runner. ... {whispers} Line?

CHERRY GREG: {whispers} Welcome.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Welcome! ... {whispers} Line?

CHERRY GREG: {whispers} To.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: To! ... {whispers} Line?

CHERRY GREG: {whispers} Homestarrunner dot com.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Something.com!

CHERRY GREG: {annoyed} Cut!

{bip}

CLAPPER LOADER: Take 6. {snaps clapperboard}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Welcome aboard the USS Homestarrunner.com. I am your captain, Homestar Runner—

CHERRY GREG: Cut!

{bip}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Bienvenidos a Homestarrunner.com. ¿Conoces a Miguel? ¡Sí! Somos buenos amigos—

CHERRY GREG: {annoyed} English!

{bip}

CLAPPER LOADER: Take 13. {snaps marker}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay, this time I'm totally gonna get it. Seriously you guys.

CHERRY GREG: ... Go ahead, we're rolling.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh! I am Homestar, and This is A Website!

{bip}

CLAPPER LOADER: Take 25. {snaps clapperboard}

{Homestar Runner is revealed wearing one of four ridiculous costumes (see the Fun Facts below).}

CHERRY GREG: Uhhh, no.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {trying to sound innocent} What??

{bip}

CLAPPER LOADER: Take 126. {snaps clapperboard again}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello! I'm Homestar Runner! ... Isn't that great?

STRONG BAD: {shouting from off-camera} Oh, I can't take it anymore!

{Strong Bad runs on camera and shoves Homestar Runner out of the frame.}

STRONG BAD: {mockingly} Hello, and welcome to I'm a Big Moron Who Can't Remember His Lines Dot Com! {normal tone} No, seriously. I'm Strong Bad, and you don't know it yet, but I'm the reason you're here.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {peeking in from off-camera} It's true.

STRONG BAD: {spreads his arms out} Check me out! No, seriously, {spreads his arms again} check me out. Sooooo... Take a look around. I strongly suggest checking out the Strong Bad E-Mails. And this cartoon's not bad. And this game's pretty fun. {quietly} I mean, I played it...

{Links to Strong Bad Email, A Jorb Well Done, and the Homestar Talker appear as Strong Bad says each of them.}

Fun Facts

Trivia

• Cherry Greg was voiced by long-time collaborator Dan Kubis in this toon. In Fluffy Puff Commercial, he was voiced by co-creator Craig Zobel.
• The site "something.com" does exist; the site contains nothing but "Something." on the index page.
• "usshomestarrunner.com" is a former fansite. It is now a Japanese career site.
  • "imabigmoronwhocantrememberhislines.com" was a fansite, but the domain name was not renewed. It was last updated in 2004. It is now a different video site.
  • "homestarrunner.net" currently redirects to the Homestar Runner Wiki. It used to host a forum and a fansite network, both of which can been seen at the Internet Wayback Machine.
• The Spanish dialogue that Homestar Runner says translates to "Welcome to Homestarrunner dot com. Do you know Miguel? Yes! We are good friends!" It is the kind of phrase one would see in an introductory Spanish textbook.
• Homestar Runner wears a randomly selected costume in Take 25, including:
  • Naked (pixelated)
  • Witch
  • Sailor
  • Clown

Remarks

• The Clapper Loader may lack visible arms because the clapperboard appears to operate without anyone holding it.
• When Homestar talks in Spanish, his speech impediment is much lighter. For example, when he says, "homestarrunner.com", he does so without a problem.
• In the same take, "Miguel" may be referencing Mike Chapman, considering Miguel is the Spanish equivalent of Michael.
• By the time they get to take 126, the clapperboard states that they are on roll 11. Assuming that they are filming with standard 1000-ft, 35mm rolls, which average about ten minutes of footage per roll, by this point they would have been trying to film scene one for nearly two hours. This makes sense because it is take 126, and each take would probably be a minute or less.
• Homestar's shirt contains the earlier design color.
• At the very end of the toon there are 21 extra frames that don't do anything.
• In the Spanish dialogue, Homestar should pronounce the name "Homestar Runner punto com", as "punto" is the Spanish name for the period mark.

Goofs

• When "Its dot com" appears on the screen, it contains a punctuation error: It should be "It's dot com" because "It's" is a contraction of "It is".

Inside References

• The format of this cartoon is very similar to Fluffy Puff Commercial, where Cherry Greg also has problems getting Homestar to read his lines correctly.
• This is another instance of Homestar Runner peeking.

DVD Version

• You can choose which costume Homestar wears in Take 25 by using the angle button:
  • 1=Clown
  • 2=Witch
  • 3=Naked
  • 4=Sailor

External Links

• watch "First Time Here?"
• view the Flash file for "First Time Here?"