First Time Here?

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(Trivia: https://www.something.com/ is back online.)
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[[image:firsttimehere.png|thumb|This is a website!]]
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{{uncattoonnav|firsttime}}
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[[Image:firsttimehere.png|200px|thumb|"Oh, I am Homestar, and this is a website!"]]
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The welcome speech for first-time viewers of the Homestar Runner website. Directed by the fictional Cherry Greg.
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The welcome speech for first-time viewers of [[homestarrunner.com]]. Directed by Cherry Greg.
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'''Cast (in order of appearance):'''   [[Cherry Greg]], [[Homestar Runner]], [[Strong Bad]]
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'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Homestar Runner}}, [[Unseen Characters|Clapper Loader]], [[Cherry Greg]], {{Film|Strong Bad}}
'''Places:''' [[The Field]]
'''Places:''' [[The Field]]
 +
 +
'''Date:''' Thursday, March 28, 2002
 +
 +
'''Running Time:''' 1:52
'''Page title:'''  HomestarRunner.com Welcome Speech
'''Page title:'''  HomestarRunner.com Welcome Speech
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 +
{{dvd|Everything Else, Volume 1}}
__FORCETOC__
__FORCETOC__
== Transcript ==
== Transcript ==
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<!--Note: There are at least two different off-camera voices, one of which can be assumed is Cherry Greg, but it is unclear, so they are both simply labeled "OFF-CAMERA". Please fix this if you've got a good ear.)-->
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''{Homestar Runner stands in a field, with a [[clapperboard]] obstructing the view. The screen is overlaid with a video camera frame including a blinking red "Record" light.}''
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''{Homestar Runner stands in a field, with a studio marker in the way. We see him though a video camera with a blinking red "Record" light.}''
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'''CLAPPER LOADER:''' Homestarrunner dot com welcome speech, take 1. ''{snaps clapperboard and moves it away so Homestar becomes visible}''
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'''OFF-CAMERA:''' Homestarrunner dot com welcome speech, Take 1. ''{snaps marker and moves it away so we can see Homestar}'' Action!
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'''CHERRY GREG:''' Action!
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, hello! ''{In bold are the words that appear on the screen as Homestar says them.}'' '''Welcome to Homestarrunner.net'''.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, hello! ''{In bold are the words that appear on the screen as Homestar says them.}'' '''Welcome to Homestarrunner.net'''.
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'''OFF-CAMERA:''' It's "dot com".
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'''CHERRY GREG:''' It's "dot com".
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, right. Homestarrunner dot net. '''"Its'' dot com!"'''
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, right. Homestarrunner dot net. '''"It'''<nowiki>'</nowiki>'''s dot com!"'''
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'''OFF-CAMERA:''' Cut!
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'''CHERRY GREG:''' Cut!
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''{bleep}''
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''{bip}''
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'''OFF-CAMERA:''' Homestarrunner dot com welcome speech, take 2. ''{snaps marker and moves it away from Homestar}'' Action!
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'''CLAPPER LOADER:''' Homestarrunner dot com welcome speech, take 2. ''{snaps clapperboard and moves it away from Homestar}''
 +
 
 +
'''CHERRY GREG:''' Action!
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, hello! I'm Homestar Runner. ... ''{whispers}'' Line?
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, hello! I'm Homestar Runner. ... ''{whispers}'' Line?
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'''OFF-CAMERA:''' ''{whispers}'' Welcome.
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'''CHERRY GREG:''' ''{whispers}'' Welcome.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' '''Welcome'''! ... ''{whispers}'' Line?
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' '''Welcome'''! ... ''{whispers}'' Line?
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'''OFF-CAMERA:''' ''{whispers}'' To.
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'''CHERRY GREG:''' ''{whispers}'' To.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' '''To'''! ... ''{whispers}'' Line?
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' '''To'''! ... ''{whispers}'' Line?
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'''OFF-CAMERA:''' ''{whispers}'' Homestarrunner dot com.
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'''CHERRY GREG:''' ''{whispers}'' Homestarrunner dot com.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' '''Something.com'''!
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' '''Something.com'''!
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'''OFF-CAMERA:''' Cut!
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'''CHERRY GREG:''' ''{annoyed}'' Cut!
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''{bleep}''
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''{bip}''
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'''OFF-CAMERA:''' Take 6. ''{snaps marker}''
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'''CLAPPER LOADER:''' Take 6. ''{snaps clapperboard}''
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' '''Welcome aboard the USS Homestarrunner.com'''. I am your captain, Homestar Runner—
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' '''Welcome aboard the USS Homestarrunner.com'''. I am your captain, Homestar Runner—
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'''OFF-CAMERA:''' Cut!
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'''CHERRY GREG:''' Cut!
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''{bleep}''
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''{bip}''
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' '''Bienvenidos a Homestarrunner.com'''. ¿Conoces a Miguel? ¡Sí! Somos buenos amigos—
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' '''Bienvenidos a Homestarrunner.com'''. ¿Conoces a Miguel? ¡Sí! Somos buenos amigos—
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'''OFF-CAMERA:''' ''{annoyed}'' English!
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'''CHERRY GREG:''' ''{annoyed}'' English!
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''{bleep}''
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''{bip}''
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'''OFF-CAMERA:''' Take 13. ''{snaps marker}''
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'''CLAPPER LOADER:''' Take 13. ''{snaps marker}''
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Okay, this time I'm totally gonna get it. Seriously you guys.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Okay, this time I'm totally gonna get it. Seriously you guys.
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'''OFF-CAMERA:''' ... Go ahead, we're rolling.
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'''CHERRY GREG:''' ... Go ahead, we're rolling.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh! I am Homestar, and '''This is A Website'''!
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh! I am Homestar, and '''This is A Website'''!
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''{bleep}''
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''{bip}''
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'''OFF-CAMERA:''' Take 25. ''{snaps marker}''
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'''CLAPPER LOADER:''' Take 25. ''{snaps clapperboard}''
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''{Homestar Runner is revealed wearing a ridiculous costume (see the Fun Facts).}''
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''{Homestar Runner is revealed wearing one of four ridiculous costumes (see the Fun Facts below).}''
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'''OFF-CAMERA:''' Cut! No.
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'''CHERRY GREG:''' Uhhh, no.
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What??
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{trying to sound innocent}'' What??
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''{bleep}''
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''{bip}''
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'''OFF-CAMERA:''' Take 126. ''{snaps marker once again}''
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'''CLAPPER LOADER:''' Take 126. ''{snaps clapperboard again}''
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, hello! I'm Homestar Runner! ... Isn't that great?
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, hello! I'm Homestar Runner! ... Isn't that great?
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{shouting from off-camera}'' Ahh, I can't take it anymore!
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{shouting from off-camera}'' Oh, I can't take it anymore!
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''{Strong Bad runs on camera and punches Homestar Runner out of the frame.}''
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''{Strong Bad runs on camera and shoves Homestar Runner out of the frame.}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sarcastic, imitating Homestar}'' Hello, and welcome to I'm a Big Moron Who Can't Remember His Lines Dot Com! ''{not sarcastic}'' No, seriously. I'm Strong Bad, and you don't know it yet, but I'm the reason you're here.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{mockingly}'' Hello, and welcome to I'm a Big Moron Who Can't Remember His Lines Dot Com! ''{normal tone}'' No, seriously. I'm Strong Bad, and you don't know it yet, but I'm the reason you're here.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{peeking in from off-camera}'' It's true.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{peeking in from off-camera}'' It's true.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Check me out! No, seriously, check me out. Sooooo... Take a look around. I strongly suggest checking out the Strong Bad E-Mails. And this cartoon's not bad. And this game's pretty fun. I mean, I played it.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{spreads his arms out}'' Check me out! No, seriously, ''{spreads his arms again}'' check me out. Sooooo... Take a look around. I strongly suggest checking out the Strong Bad E-Mails. And this cartoon's not bad. And this game's pretty fun. ''{quietly}'' I mean, I played it...
''{Links to [[Strong Bad Email]], [[A Jorb Well Done]], and the [[Homestar Talker]] appear as Strong Bad says each of them.}''
''{Links to [[Strong Bad Email]], [[A Jorb Well Done]], and the [[Homestar Talker]] appear as Strong Bad says each of them.}''
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== Fun Facts ==
== Fun Facts ==
===Trivia===
===Trivia===
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*The Spanish dialog that Homestar Runner says translates to "Welcome to Homestarrunner dot com. Do you know Michael? Yes! We are good friends!" It is the kind of phrase one would see in an introductory Spanish text book.
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*[[Cherry Greg]] was voiced by long-time collaborator [[Dan Kubis]] in this toon. In [[Fluffy Puff Commercial]], he was voiced by co-creator [[Craig Zobel]].
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*Homestar Runner wears a different costume in Take 25 each time you watch, including:
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*Several of the URLs mentioned in the toon actually exist, or have at some point.
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**Naked!
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**"[http://www.something.com something.com]" contains nothing but the word "Something." on the index page.<!-- The site contains secret pages and photos geared mostly toward certain niche interests. It has been that way for quite a while, according to [http://web.archive.org/web/19991122052122/http://www.something.com/ the Wayback Machine]. Incidentally, the ''related links'' section on the [http://www.whois.sc/something.com Whois] entry for ''something.com'' contains [[HR:index.html|Homestarrunner.com]].-->
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**"[http://usshomestarrunner.com/ usshomestarrunner.com]" was once a [[Links#Fan Sites|fansite]], and was turned into a Japanese career website at one point. It currently redirects to the homepage for ''Come On, Fhqwhpods!'', a Homestar Runner podcast.
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**"imabigmoronwhocantrememberhislines.com" was a fansite, but the domain name was not renewed. It was [http://web.archive.org/web/20080127145057/http://www.pride.hofstra.edu/~stolid1/ last updated] in 2004. It is now a forum.
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**"[http://homestarrunner.net/ homestarrunner.net]" currently redirects to the Homestar Runner Wiki. It used to host a forum and a fansite network, both of which can been seen at [http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://homestarrunner.net the Internet Wayback Machine].
 +
*The [[Spanish]] dialogue that Homestar Runner says translates to "Welcome to Homestarrunner dot com. Do you know Miguel? Yes! We are good friends!" It is the kind of phrase one would see in an introductory Spanish textbook.
 +
*Homestar Runner wears a randomly selected costume in Take 25, including:
 +
**[[Naked Homestar Runner|Naked]] (pixelated)
**Witch
**Witch
**Sailor
**Sailor
**Clown
**Clown
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*The site "[http://www.something.com something.com]" does exist, but the word ''Something'' is the only content. It has been that way for quite a while. [http://www.whois.sc/something.com]
 
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*"[http://homestarrunner.net homestarrunner.net]", "[http://www.usshomestarrunner.com usshomestarrunner.com]" and "[http://www.imabigmoronwhocantrememberhislines.com imabigmoronwhocantrememberhislines.com]" have all been real fansites. However, the only one active at this time is "[http://www.usshomestarrunner.com usshomestarrunner.com]".
 
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**[http://www.imabigmoronwhocantrememberhislines.com www.imabigmoronwhocantrememberhislines.com]and [http://homestarrunner.net www.homestarrunner.net] are accessible through the website [http://archive.org archive.org.]
 
===Remarks===
===Remarks===
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*By the time they get to take 126, the clapslate states that they are on roll 11.  Assuming that they are filming with standard 1000-ft, 35mm rolls, which average about ten minutes of footage per roll, by this point they would have been trying to film scene one for nearly two hours. This makes sense because it is take 126, and each take would probably be a minute or less.
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*The [[Wikipedia:Clapper loader|Clapper Loader]] may [[Lack of Visible Arms|lack visible arms]] because the clapperboard appears to operate without anyone holding it.
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**The record light seems to indicate they're shooting video, not film - but on ten-minute tapes?
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*When Homestar talks in Spanish, his [[Homestar Runner Without His Speech Impediment|speech impediment]] is much lighter. For example, when he says, "homestarrunner.com", he does so without a problem.
 +
*In the same take, "Miguel" may be referencing [[Mike Chapman]], considering Miguel is the Spanish equivalent of Michael.
 +
*By the time they get to take 126, the clapperboard states that they are on roll 11.  Assuming that they are filming with standard 1000-ft, 35mm rolls, which average about ten minutes of footage per roll, by this point they would have been trying to film scene one for nearly two hours. This makes sense because it is take 126, and each take would probably be a minute or less.
 +
*Homestar's shirt contains the earlier design color.
 +
*At the very end of the toon there are 21 extra frames that don't do anything.
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*In the Spanish dialogue, Homestar should pronounce the name "Homestar Runner punto com", as "punto" is the Spanish name for the period mark.
===Goofs===
===Goofs===
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*When "Its dot com" appears on the screen, it contains a grammatical error: It should be "It's dot com" because "It's" is a contraction of "It is".
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*When "Its dot com" appears on the screen, it contains a punctuation error: It should be "It's dot com" because "It's" is a contraction of "It is".
 +
 
 +
===Inside References===
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*The format of this cartoon is very similar to [[Fluffy Puff Commercial]], where Cherry Greg also has problems getting Homestar to read his lines correctly.
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*This is another instance of [[Homestar Runner peeking]].
 +
 
 +
== DVD Version ==
 +
*You can choose which costume Homestar wears in Take 25 by using the angle button:
 +
:#Clown
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:#Witch
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:#Naked
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:#Sailor
== External Links ==
== External Links ==
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*[http://www.homestarrunner.com/firsttime.html watch "First Time Here?"]
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{{nextlinks|firsttime|old=firsttime}}
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*[http://www.homestarrunner.com/firsttime.swf view the Flash file for "First Time Here?"]
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{{subtitlesLinks|firsttime}}
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[[Category: Toons]][[Category:Homestar Runner Filmography]][[Category: Strong Bad Filmography]]
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[[Category:Toons with Dialogue Alternatives]]

Revision as of 02:21, 5 June 2021

Toon Category: Uncategorized
watch
"Oh, I am Homestar, and this is a website!"

The welcome speech for first-time viewers of homestarrunner.com. Directed by Cherry Greg.

Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Clapper Loader, Cherry Greg, Strong Bad

Places: The Field

Date: Thursday, March 28, 2002

Running Time: 1:52

Page title: HomestarRunner.com Welcome Speech

DVD: Everything Else, Volume 1

Contents

Transcript

{Homestar Runner stands in a field, with a clapperboard obstructing the view. The screen is overlaid with a video camera frame including a blinking red "Record" light.}

CLAPPER LOADER: Homestarrunner dot com welcome speech, take 1. {snaps clapperboard and moves it away so Homestar becomes visible}

CHERRY GREG: Action!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello! {In bold are the words that appear on the screen as Homestar says them.} Welcome to Homestarrunner.net.

CHERRY GREG: It's "dot com".

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, right. Homestarrunner dot net. "It's dot com!"

CHERRY GREG: Cut!

{bip}

CLAPPER LOADER: Homestarrunner dot com welcome speech, take 2. {snaps clapperboard and moves it away from Homestar}

CHERRY GREG: Action!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello! I'm Homestar Runner. ... {whispers} Line?

CHERRY GREG: {whispers} Welcome.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Welcome! ... {whispers} Line?

CHERRY GREG: {whispers} To.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: To! ... {whispers} Line?

CHERRY GREG: {whispers} Homestarrunner dot com.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Something.com!

CHERRY GREG: {annoyed} Cut!

{bip}

CLAPPER LOADER: Take 6. {snaps clapperboard}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Welcome aboard the USS Homestarrunner.com. I am your captain, Homestar Runner—

CHERRY GREG: Cut!

{bip}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Bienvenidos a Homestarrunner.com. ¿Conoces a Miguel? ¡Sí! Somos buenos amigos—

CHERRY GREG: {annoyed} English!

{bip}

CLAPPER LOADER: Take 13. {snaps marker}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay, this time I'm totally gonna get it. Seriously you guys.

CHERRY GREG: ... Go ahead, we're rolling.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh! I am Homestar, and This is A Website!

{bip}

CLAPPER LOADER: Take 25. {snaps clapperboard}

{Homestar Runner is revealed wearing one of four ridiculous costumes (see the Fun Facts below).}

CHERRY GREG: Uhhh, no.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {trying to sound innocent} What??

{bip}

CLAPPER LOADER: Take 126. {snaps clapperboard again}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello! I'm Homestar Runner! ... Isn't that great?

STRONG BAD: {shouting from off-camera} Oh, I can't take it anymore!

{Strong Bad runs on camera and shoves Homestar Runner out of the frame.}

STRONG BAD: {mockingly} Hello, and welcome to I'm a Big Moron Who Can't Remember His Lines Dot Com! {normal tone} No, seriously. I'm Strong Bad, and you don't know it yet, but I'm the reason you're here.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {peeking in from off-camera} It's true.

STRONG BAD: {spreads his arms out} Check me out! No, seriously, {spreads his arms again} check me out. Sooooo... Take a look around. I strongly suggest checking out the Strong Bad E-Mails. And this cartoon's not bad. And this game's pretty fun. {quietly} I mean, I played it...

{Links to Strong Bad Email, A Jorb Well Done, and the Homestar Talker appear as Strong Bad says each of them.}

Fun Facts

Trivia

  • Cherry Greg was voiced by long-time collaborator Dan Kubis in this toon. In Fluffy Puff Commercial, he was voiced by co-creator Craig Zobel.
  • Several of the URLs mentioned in the toon actually exist, or have at some point.
    • "something.com" contains nothing but the word "Something." on the index page.
    • "usshomestarrunner.com" was once a fansite, and was turned into a Japanese career website at one point. It currently redirects to the homepage for Come On, Fhqwhpods!, a Homestar Runner podcast.
    • "imabigmoronwhocantrememberhislines.com" was a fansite, but the domain name was not renewed. It was last updated in 2004. It is now a forum.
    • "homestarrunner.net" currently redirects to the Homestar Runner Wiki. It used to host a forum and a fansite network, both of which can been seen at the Internet Wayback Machine.
  • The Spanish dialogue that Homestar Runner says translates to "Welcome to Homestarrunner dot com. Do you know Miguel? Yes! We are good friends!" It is the kind of phrase one would see in an introductory Spanish textbook.
  • Homestar Runner wears a randomly selected costume in Take 25, including:
    • Naked (pixelated)
    • Witch
    • Sailor
    • Clown

Remarks

  • The Clapper Loader may lack visible arms because the clapperboard appears to operate without anyone holding it.
  • When Homestar talks in Spanish, his speech impediment is much lighter. For example, when he says, "homestarrunner.com", he does so without a problem.
  • In the same take, "Miguel" may be referencing Mike Chapman, considering Miguel is the Spanish equivalent of Michael.
  • By the time they get to take 126, the clapperboard states that they are on roll 11. Assuming that they are filming with standard 1000-ft, 35mm rolls, which average about ten minutes of footage per roll, by this point they would have been trying to film scene one for nearly two hours. This makes sense because it is take 126, and each take would probably be a minute or less.
  • Homestar's shirt contains the earlier design color.
  • At the very end of the toon there are 21 extra frames that don't do anything.
  • In the Spanish dialogue, Homestar should pronounce the name "Homestar Runner punto com", as "punto" is the Spanish name for the period mark.

Goofs

  • When "Its dot com" appears on the screen, it contains a punctuation error: It should be "It's dot com" because "It's" is a contraction of "It is".

Inside References

DVD Version

  • You can choose which costume Homestar wears in Take 25 by using the angle button:
  1. Clown
  2. Witch
  3. Naked
  4. Sailor

External Links

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