First Time Here?

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This is a website!

The welcome speech for first-time viewers of the Homestar Runner website. Directed by the fictional Cherry Greg.

Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Clapper Loader, Cherry Greg, Strong Bad

Places: The Field

Page title: Welcome Speech



{Homestar Runner stands in a field, with a studio marker in the way. We see him through a video camera with a blinking red "Record" light.}

CLAPPER LOADER: Homestarrunner dot com welcome speech, Take 1. {snaps marker and moves it away so we can see Homestar}


HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello! {In bold are the words that appear on the screen as Homestar says them.} Welcome to

CHERRY GREG: It's "dot com".

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, right. Homestarrunner dot net. "Its dot com!"



CLAPPER LOADED: Homestarrunner dot com welcome speech, take 2. {snaps marker and moves it away from Homestar}


HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello! I'm Homestar Runner. ... {whispers} Line?

CHERRY GREG: {whispers} Welcome.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Welcome! ... {whispers} Line?

CHERRY GREG: {whispers} To.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: To! ... {whispers} Line?

CHERRY GREG: {whispers} Homestarrunner dot com.




CLAPPER LOADER: Take 6. {snaps marker}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Welcome aboard the USS I am your captain, Homestar Runner—



HOMESTAR RUNNER: Bienvenidos a ¿Conoces a Miguel? ¡Sí! Somos buenos amigos—

CHERRY GREG: {annoyed} English!


CLAPPER LOADER: Take 13. {snaps marker}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay, this time I'm totally gonna get it. Seriously you guys.

CHERRY GREG: ... Go ahead, we're rolling.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh! I am Homestar, and This is A Website!


CLAPPER LOADER: Take 25. {snaps marker}

{Homestar Runner is revealed wearing a ridiculous costume (see the Fun Facts).}

CHERRY GREG: Uhhh, no.



CLAPPER LOADER: Take 126. {snaps marker once again}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello! I'm Homestar Runner! ... Isn't that great?

STRONG BAD: {shouting from off-camera} Ahh, I can't take it anymore!

{Strong Bad runs on camera and shoves Homestar Runner out of the frame.}

STRONG BAD: {sarcastic, imitating Homestar} Hello, and welcome to I'm a Big Moron Who Can't Remember His Lines Dot Com! {not sarcastic} No, seriously. I'm Strong Bad, and you don't know it yet, but I'm the reason you're here.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {peeking in from off-camera} It's true.

STRONG BAD: Check me out! No, seriously, check me out. Sooooo... Take a look around. I strongly suggest checking out the Strong Bad E-Mails. And this cartoon's not bad. And this game's pretty fun. I mean, I played it.

{Links to Strong Bad Email, A Jorb Well Done, and the Homestar Talker appear as Strong Bad says each of them.}

Fun Facts


  • The Spanish dialog that Homestar Runner says translates to "Welcome to Homestarrunner dot com. Do you know Michael? Yes! We are good friends!" It is the kind of phrase one would see in an introductory Spanish textbook.
  • Homestar Runner wears a different costume in Take 25 each time you watch, including:
    • Naked!
    • Witch
    • Sailor
    • Clown


  • By the time they get to take 126, the clapslate states that they are on roll 11. Assuming that they are filming with standard 1000-ft, 35mm rolls, which average about ten minutes of footage per roll, by this point they would have been trying to film scene one for nearly two hours. This makes sense because it is take 126, and each take would probably be a minute or less.
    • The record light seems to indicate they're shooting video, not film - but on ten-minute tapes?


  • When "Its dot com" appears on the screen, it contains a punctuation error: It should be "It's dot com" because "It's" is a contraction of "It is".

External Links

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