First Time Here?

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"Oh, I am Homestar, and this is a website!"

The welcome speech for first-time viewers of the Homestar Runner website. Directed by Cherry Greg.

Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Clapper Loader, Cherry Greg, Strong Bad

Places: The Field

Date: March 28, 2002

Page title: HomestarRunner.com Welcome Speech

Contents

Transcript

{Homestar Runner stands in a field, with a clapperboard obstructing the view. We see him through a video camera with a blinking red "Record" light.}

CLAPPER LOADER: Homestarrunner dot com welcome speech, Take 1. {snaps clapperboard and moves it away so we can see Homestar}

CHERRY GREG: Action!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello! {In bold are the words that appear on the screen as Homestar says them.} Welcome to Homestarrunner.net.

CHERRY GREG: It's "dot com".

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, right. Homestarrunner dot net. "Its dot com!"

CHERRY GREG: Cut!

{bleep}

CLAPPER LOADER: Homestarrunner dot com welcome speech, take 2. {snaps clapperboard and moves it away from Homestar}

CHERRY GREG: Action!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello! I'm Homestar Runner. ... {whispers} Line?

CHERRY GREG: {whispers} Welcome.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Welcome! ... {whispers} Line?

CHERRY GREG: {whispers} To.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: To! ... {whispers} Line?

CHERRY GREG: {whispers} Homestarrunner dot com.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Something.com!

CHERRY GREG: Cut!

{bleep}

CLAPPER LOADER: Take 6. {snaps clapperboard}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Welcome aboard the USS Homestarrunner.com. I am your captain, Homestar Runner—

CHERRY GREG: Cut!

{bleep}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Bienvenidos a Homestarrunner.com. ¿Conoces a Miguel? ¡Sí! Somos buenos amigos—

CHERRY GREG: {annoyed} English!

{bleep}

CLAPPER LOADER: Take 13. {snaps marker}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay, this time I'm totally gonna get it. Seriously you guys.

CHERRY GREG: ... Go ahead, we're rolling.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh! I am Homestar, and This is A Website!

{bleep}

CLAPPER LOADER: Take 25. {snaps clapperboard}

{Homestar Runner is revealed wearing a ridiculous costume (see the Fun Facts).}

CHERRY GREG: Cuuut, no.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What??

{bleep}

CLAPPER LOADER: Take 126. {snaps clapperboard once again}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello! I'm Homestar Runner! ... Isn't that great?

STRONG BAD: {shouting from off-camera} Ahh, I can't take it anymore!

{Strong Bad runs on camera and shoves Homestar Runner out of the frame.}

STRONG BAD: {sarcastic, imitating Homestar} Hello, and welcome to I'm a Big Moron Who Can't Remember His Lines Dot Com! {not sarcastic} No, seriously. I'm Strong Bad, and you don't know it yet, but I'm the reason you're here.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {peeking in from off-camera} It's true.

STRONG BAD: {spreads his arms out} Check me out! No, seriously, {spreads his arms again} check me out. Sooooo... Take a look around. I strongly suggest checking out the Strong Bad E-Mails. And this cartoon's not bad. And this game's pretty fun. I mean, I played it.

{Links to Strong Bad Email, A Jorb Well Done, and the Homestar Talker appear as Strong Bad says each of them.}

Fun Facts

Trivia

  • The Spanish dialog that Homestar Runner says translates to "Welcome to Homestarrunner dot com. Do you know Miguel? Yes! We are good friends!" It is the kind of phrase one would see in an introductory Spanish textbook.
  • Homestar Runner wears a randomly selected costume in Take 25, including:
  • The site "something.com" does exist; the site contains nothing but the word Something and a few photos accessed via secret page. It has been that way for quite a while, according to Whois. Incidentally, the related links section on the entry for something.com contains Homestarrunner.com.
  • "homestarrunner.net", "usshomestarrunner.com" and "http://www.imabigmoronwhocantrememberhislines.com" have all been real fansites.

Remarks

  • When Homestar talks in Spanish, his speech problem is much lighter. When he says, "homestarrunner.com," he says it without a problem.
  • By the time they get to take 126, the clapslate states that they are on roll 11. Assuming that they are filming with standard 1000-ft, 35mm rolls, which average about ten minutes of footage per roll, by this point they would have been trying to film scene one for nearly two hours. This makes sense because it is take 126, and each take would probably be a minute or less.
  • The Clapper Loader may lack visible arms because the clapperboard appears to operate without anyone holding it.
  • In the take where Homestar speaks Spanish, and says Miguel, might be referencing Mike Chapman, considering Miguel is roughly the Spanish equivilant of Michael.

Goofs

  • When "Its dot com" appears on the screen, it contains a punctuation error: It should be "It's dot com" because "It's" is a contraction of "It is".

Inside References

  • The format of this cartoon is very similar to Fluffy Puff Commercial, where Cherry Greg also has problems getting Homestar to read his lines correctly.

DVD Version

  • You can choose which costume Homestar wears in Take 25 by using the angle button:
    • 1=Clown
    • 2=Witch
    • 3=Naked
    • 4=Sailor

External Links

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