History according to Strong Bad
From Homestar Runner Wiki
History according to Strong Bad is a tricky thing. A lot of the time, Strong Bad presents as historical fact elements that are either clearly false or that can't be verified. When relating legends, he often parodies actual historical storytelling techniques or attempts to make himself look good in the present and the past. Since it is usually related in emails, history according to Strong Bad often centers around the history of Strong Badia, with other characters occasionally involved in the stories or storytelling.
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Examples of history according to Strong Bad
In Strong Bad Emails
personal favorites
Strong Bad is asked which Strong Bad Email is his favorite. Although Strong Bad says "[his] emails are like [his] childrens" (he loves them all), he proceeds to name his "personal favorites." While the first two emails he mentions (invisibility and gimmicks) exist, the rest have never been seen before. Said emails include Bubs building a Strong Bad Robot, soy-sauce-drunk Strong Bad "flying" Bubs' Concession Stand, and Pom Pom and Coach Z fighting with knives on the stone bridge. As a result, so many viewers have tried to find the nonexistent emails that an answer was added to the site's FAQ on the matter.
couch patch
Strong Bad, Strong Sad, Homestar and Coach Z all offer their respective memories of how the patch of tape appeared on the couch in the basement. Strong Bad claims it's there because he cut the couch open to make a hiding place for his "Aztec gold" (actually oil filters), but the inside of the couch smelled horrible, so he taped over the cut to stop the smell. Strong Sad claims to remember a young Strong Bad thinking that Olympic sprinter Carl Lewis was both a woman and hot, writing so on the couch, and taping it over to cover it up. Homestar tries to provide an explanation, but forgets what the subject of the conversation was, and instead recalls spitting Teddy Grahams at the ceiling. Coach Z claims he vomited in a rip in the couch after Strong Bad served him bad gumbo, and taped it up to hide the evidence.
colonization
Strong Bad explains Strong Badia's origins. Portraying himself as a Pilgrim persecuted by Strong Sad for his egg-ketchuping ways, he describes leaving Free Country, USA to set up a new colony in an empty lot behind the dumpsters, owned by Bubs, who is portrayed as a Native-American like "strange man who had strange ways and strange odors". They celebrate Strong Badia's first Thanksgiving at a nearby picnic table with some leftover Hardee's burgers.
flashback
Strong Bad tells the story of how he and Homestar Runner first met in a children's book, as well as how he came to discover The Cheat, and the origin of The King of Town's eating problem. After playing tennis on the Moon with Coach Z, Strong Bad returns to Free Country, USA and comes across a large pink egg, with Homestar Runner nearby. Homestar and Strong Bad get in an argument over who owns the egg, which The Prince of Town settles by proclaiming a ten-step footrace. Homestar wins, but the Prince declares that the loser gets the egg. Strong Bad and Strong Mad break open the egg, finding a lifetime supply of fishsticks inside—and a The Cheat! The Cheat "mashes play" on a jam box and all the characters have a dance party. Afterwards, The Prince claims the fishsticks. Homestar verifies Strong Bad's story, but it's implied that he thinks it's actually a fictional children's book.
lunch special
Strong Bad is asked to get Bubs to give out free lunch specials in exchange for a picture of a hot girl. Strong Bad claims that Bubs has to give out a free lunch special if he says his name backwards minus the first B. In short, he has to say, "sbu". Strong Bad tries to get Bubs to actually say "sbu", failing a number of times. When he finally succeeds, it turns out that saying "sbu" really cancels out Bubs' ability to fly. However, since he is so overweight, he could only hover a few inches off the ground. It apparently isn't much of a loss for him because he never used it much anyway. Strong Bad and even Homestar believe he's just a fraud.
old comics
Strong Bad is asked why the King of Town has a poopsmith, and shows comic strips over 60 years old featuring the King of Town and The Poopsmith (then named "Mushy Chamberpot"). Strong Bad and Homestar make cameo appearances so that The Castlefunnies can mooch off of their popularity. Strong Bad does not clarify whether his appearance in the strip was an experience he actually had, or simply a representation of him.
origins
Strong Bad is asked about the origin of The Stick and whether it had always been a good place for hanging out. Strong Bad refuses to explain The Stick's origin, but does elaborate on The Stick's "hanging-out-itude". Although The Stick is presently a good meeting place, such was not always the case, particularly when Homestar held his weekly "bread sing-alongs" there. The Brothers Strong put a stop to these by holding The Cheat's "rhythmic chain dancing recitals" at the same time and location. After Homestar's sing-alongs' popularity faded and Strong Mad ate The Cheat's chainwhip, The Stick was the perfect spot for harrassing Marzipan and Homsar. Meanwhile, the Brothers Strong and The Cheat moved to an area behind Bubs' Concession Stand, where they named themselves the On Point Kings, had nothing to do with guff, and, ultimately, stole the King of Town's dunce cap, renaming it Lotionman (Strong Mad's idea). In the same email, he claims he drilled the belly button into Strong Sad when he was younger and that Bubs' Concession Stand was founded after it fell on Mr. Bland and Señor.
highschool
Strong Bad explains the characters' younger days, though he disclaims that his memory is extremely "unphotographic", and therefore his histories are not very reliable. In highschool, the characters filled the stereotypical roles for old cartoons about teenagers (ala Scooby Doo) as a 70s-style gang of mystery solvers. Before that, in middle school, they were all imaginative "melon-headed babies", occupying their time pretending to be living their dreams. Homestar is portrayed as some kind of grown adult supervisor. Before that, the gang were a bunch of microscopic single-celled organisms living in a petri dish. And yet before that, they were all Romans, living in Roman times, with Don Knotts always showing up.
myths & legends
Strong Bad details the legends surrounding the Bear holding a Shark. Much of the Bear-Shark's origins can be seen in the constellations over Strong Badia, which show the seven elemental spirits of Strong Badia: a snake, a guy holding a big knife, a box of chicken, a piece of wood with some nails in it, a hand giving the "OK" symbol, a fish wearing an afro wig, and a British distance runner. The distance runner held up the fish with the fro wig over his head, and the two defeated the other spirits in either paintball or Red Rover, thus becoming the new rulers. After years of bad story telling and the telephone game, the myth went through various incarnations, as evidenced by various documentary-type evidence, ranging from medieval wood carvings of a hairy "wildernessman" with a "sea beast", to a cathedral-style stained glass window of a moose holding an iguana in its antlers. Strong Bad then researches some "ancient fence drawings" on the Strong Badian picket fence, which consist of strange images of the Bear-Shark destroying villages and crops, stealing babies, and bike riding (or pie-sitting) with what appears to be its family. The drawings were actually done by Strong Bad at age 5, though he has long forgotten this. Bubs begins selling Bear-Shark merchandise such as t-shirts, frozen treats and plush toys. Homestar manages to capture (or forge) blurry Bigfoot-style footage of what may be the Bear-Shark in the woods, but this only adds to the question of whether the Bear-Shark is a mysterious myth or a legendary legend.
looking old
Strong Bad claims his age is a closely guarded secret, protected by a sect of closely guarded monks in the Coches Mountains. He boasts that the monks would no sooner dance with a goat than reveal his age, but they would bake Crustly Guarded Bread.
In Shorts
TrogdorCon '97
Strong Bad and The Cheat get a booth at what Strong Bad calls "Trogdor Con '97". Later, Strong Sad debunks this one by confirming that "It's not called TrogdorCon and it's 2005". One can assume that it was Dragon Con.
