Homestar Ruiner

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(Trivia: noting which trailer was altered)
(Transcript of Around the Field: This is what I heard - and it makes more sense, honestly...)
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''{Strong Bad lifts a cardboard box and picks a piece of paper out from under it}''
''{Strong Bad lifts a cardboard box and picks a piece of paper out from under it}''
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' Box appearing guide!  ''{spoken}'' Hey...
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' Box-peering guy!  ''{spoken}'' Hey!
''{Strong Bad faces the camera, and the manual for [[Snake Boxer 5]] overlaps him}''
''{Strong Bad faces the camera, and the manual for [[Snake Boxer 5]] overlaps him}''

Revision as of 23:37, 11 June 2008

The scheming wrestleman

Homestar Ruiner is the first episode of Strong Bad's Cool Game For Attractive People, with an anticipated release date of July 2008.

While Strong Bad is going about his usual routine — checking emails, etc. — Homestar Runner tells him about the Tri-annual Race to the End of the Race. Once Strong Bad hears of Homestar's intention to win this contest, he schemes to snatch victory from Homestar's invisible grasp.


Transcript of At the Track

{Strong Bad and Homestar Runner are standing on a racetrack near a pool.}

STRONG BAD: All right, Homestar. I'm not sure why this never occured to me before, but some French guy told me to beat you up, and I tend to think he's right. Put up your dukes!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello, Strong Bad! Are you here to watch the race?

STRONG BAD: A race? You mean like a race-race? Race-race-race?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You haven't heard about the Free Country USA Triannual Race to the End of the Race?! It's only the coolest and most important sporting event in the history of sporting events I'm about to compete in ever!

STRONG BAD: A race, eh? You know, beating you in a race would be almost as much fun as beating you senseless!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'd like to see you try, Strong Bad! I've been trainin' my twees off for weeks now. Besides, Marzipan has promised me a big victory party after I win!

STRONG BAD: Did someone say "Pwahty"?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh hecks yeah! Marzipan's putting together a huge party, with floats, and cake jugglers, and balloon manimals, and—

STRONG BAD: And why was I, Lord High Awesome Party, occasionally known as Strong Bad, not invited?!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {whisperingly} Whisperingly, I don't think Marzipan likes you very much.

STRONG BAD: All this race talk has intrigued me. I believe I will postpone your pummeling for now.


{A cell phone ring is heard. Homestar produces a cell phone.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hold on. I gotta take this. {takes the call and holds the phone to his face} Yes, Marzipan? Yes? Yes. Yes. Yes? Noooo! Yes! Yes! {closeup on Strong Bad, who looks toward the camera and shakes his head} I miss you too, puddin' sack. See you after the race! Bye!

STRONG BAD: Girlfriend troubles?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Not me, bro. Marzipan just wanted my opinion on the decorations. And the cake jugglers. And the {suddenly growing annoyed} {Unintelligible}. And the bgh bzjt breh!

{He kicks the phone away in anger. It lands near Coach Z, who can be seen with video equipment. Cut back to Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Pardon me. I'm off to the locker room to reacquire my game face.

{He walks away and the screen fades to a splash screen for Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People.}

Transcript of Around the Field

{Strong Bad leaves Bubs' Concession Stand}

BUBS: Come back soon!

{Strong Bad lifts a cardboard box and picks a piece of paper out from under it}

STRONG BAD: {singing} Box-peering guy! {spoken} Hey!

{Strong Bad faces the camera, and the manual for Snake Boxer 5 overlaps him}

STRONG BAD: It's the cover to my long-lost Snake Boxer V manual!

{The cover fades away}

STRONG BAD: If I can find the rest of this thing, I'll have the cheat code that unlocks Snake Boxer V's Super-Secret Forbidden mode!

{Strong Bad runs up to The Brick Wall}

STRONG BAD: Hi, pointless wall! {high pitched} Hi, Strong Bad!

{Strong Bad runs up to a hedge with some sticks pointing outwards from it}

STRONG BAD: Geez, that hedge looks like it's been beat around the face with an ugly stick.

{Strong Bad turns behind him and faces The Stick}

STRONG BAD: Not you, The Stick. You're beautiful man.

{Strong Bad runs up to The Stick}

STRONG BAD: It's The Stick.

{fanfare plays from offscreen}

STRONG BAD: And, that's about all there is.

{The splash screen for Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People appears}

Fun Facts


  • A few days after the "Track" trailer was released, it was edited with the following known changes:
    • The blocking in many scenes was slightly different.
    • Strong Bad's original first line was "All right, Homestar, the time for our ultimate throwdown of total death-tiny has arrived! Put 'em up!"
    • At three points in the dialogue, (before "A race?", before "Did someone say pwahty?", and before "All this race talk...") a choice box appeared above Strong Bad's head. A cursor chose which topic Strong Bad would discuss the first two times, but just closed the box the third time.
    • The scoreboard had the initials CZ and PP on it. It now reads "OFFICIAL RACE TIMES".


  • This is one of the few times a character mentions Free Country, USA. The last time this occurred was when Strong Bad said it in flashback.

Inside References

Real-World References

  • "Balloon Manimals" might reference the short-lived NBC drama Manimal.
  • When Homestar is on the phone with Marzipan, the way he says, "Yes? Yes. Yes. Yes? Noo! Yes. Yes?" is a reference to episode 4 of Sam & Max Season One, where Sam answers a phone with the Commissioner and says that in the same way.
    • Additionally, the music which plays when Strong Bad acquires the cover to the Snake Boxer 5 manual is Item Get from episode 5 of the same season.
  • Strong Bad's original first line is a reference to the Lemon Demon song The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny, which became popular on the internet after it was made into a flash cartoon music video.

External Links

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