Homestar Ruiner Responses (House of Strong)
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from House of Strong in Homestar Ruiner.
On these pages, A → B (right arrow) means that the response happens when object A is used on thing B, or in the case of talking to other characters, the indicated sequence of chat topic icons are chosen.
A short horizontal line between two or more responses, such as the one above, means only one of the responses is heard at a time, and that the action results in a different response each time it occurs.
Contents |
Computer Room
Floppy Disks
- STRONG BAD: That's where I keep disks one through twenty four of all my favorite games.
No Loafing Sign
- STRONG BAD: I put up that sign, but the stupid walls are still loafing all the time.
Stooly
- STRONG BAD: Ah, my trusty steed. Stooly, I'd ride you into email battle any day.
Calendar (start of game)
- STRONG BAD: Today's the day I finally give Homestar his long overdue pummeling.
Light Switch
- STRONG BAD: Intriguing.
- STRONG BAD: Not so intruguing.
Rave Switch
- STRONG BAD: {first time only} Check this out!
- {Camera zooms in and out, light effects and sound clip from techno play}
- STRONG BAD: Ahhh, I sometimes get tired of that.
- {Strong Bad plays another techno rave}
- STRONG BAD: Yeah, I'm definitely tired of that.
Plug
- STRONG BAD: I can't unplug the Lappy. It takes five to seven business days to fully charge the battery. Lappy don't charge on weekends.
Tutorial
Tutorial Opening
- STRONG BAD: {singing} Time to check the email. The email! The email! The email!
- STRONG BAD: {ominious music} Oh no! The lappy is missing!
- STRONG BAD: Hi folks. My name is Strong Bad. You may remember me as pretty much the coolest guy or sandwich ever '98, or the fellow what stole your girlfriend.
- STRONG BAD: Welcome to the required by video game law tutorial portion of my awesome video game.
- STRONG BAD: {ominous music} It seems as though someone has stolen my state of the art laptop computer, and you, yes you, need to help me find out who.
- STRONG BAD: Ok, let's take a look around my computer room. Move your cursor around various items of interest in the room and click the left mouse button. I'll check them out as you do.
Computer disks
- STRONG BAD: Yeah, those are my old computer games. They don't even work on the Lappy, but I keep them around so that people know how cool I am for keeping them around.
- STRONG BAD: Seriously, those are not important right now.
Missing Lappy
- STRONG BAD: Oh man, could that be a clue in the area where my laptop computer used to be? I wish I could somehow see it bigger.
- STRONG BAD: Hmm. How can I see that purple smudge bigger?
Magnifying glass
- STRONG BAD: I totally stole this from my nerdy little brother Strong Sad. Man that guy is such a whiney baby. He's probably crying over losing it right now.
- STRONG BAD: Ok, this is an item that I am going to keep. That means that it's going into my "inventory", or "collection of surprising useful useless crap." To see the stuff in my inventory, just click on the inventory icon in the upper left of the screen. It's the one that's blinking, but don't think about using it until I'm done talking! What were you, raised in a click-on-stuff-while-cool-people-are-still-talking barn?
- STRONG BAD: Anyway, when the inventory is open, click the magnifying glass icon. Your cursor, formerly a dot, will become the magnifying glass. Then just point and click on things you want to use the magnifying glass on. It's like, super easy man.
Magnifying glass → Missing Lappy
- STRONG BAD: Ah ha! I'd recognize that pudgy, grape jelly stained fingerprint anywhere! It belongs to — {ominous music} Dun dun dunnnnnn! My little brother Strong Sad! Let's go across the hall into his room and unethically interrogate him.
Tutorial Notes
- The normal light switch cannot be interacted with.
- Attempting to leave the room before inspecting the missing laptop with the magnifying glass results in:
- STRONG BAD: I'm not leaving here until I get a clue about who stole the Lappy.
Strong Sad's Room
Strong Sad's Door
- {first time}
- STRONG BAD: Hey Strong Sad! You in there?
- STRONG SAD: Yes!
- STRONG BAD: C'mon, lemme in! I just wanna punch you a few hundred times!
- STRONG SAD: Not interested.
- {second time}
- STRONG BAD: C'mon Strong Sad, I've got your favorite food, some nasty ethnic food!
- STRONG SAD: I don't believe in favoring one food over another.
- {each time thereafter}
- STRONG BAD: Strong Sad Raymond Jenkins, you open this door right now or I'll— I'll— I'll—
- STRONG SAD: You'll what?
- STRONG BAD: Oh, we'll just wait until your father gets home and see what he says!
- STRONG SAD: You're not even my real mom!
- STRONG BAD: Fine. I didn't want to go in your purple room of doom and gloom anyway!
Candy → Strong Sad's Door
- STRONG BAD: Strong Sad, if you open the door I'll give you a box of Choco-OPS.
- STRONG SAD: You know I can't have peanuts!
Tutorial
When entering the room
- STRONG SAD: Strong Bad, get outta here! I'm trying to get ready for the 19th century Scotland Yard LARP festival, and I can't find my authentic Sherlock Holmes magnifying glass!
- STRONG BAD: That whiney sack of gray dump over there is Strong Sad. Clicking on him means you want me to talk to him. You'll see a bunch of stuff appear over my head. They represent topics I can talk about. Let's try talking to him about his own miserable self first.
Strong Sad
- STRONG BAD: Hey little brother...
- STRONG SAD: Yes?
- STRONG BAD: {first time only} Click on the picture of Strong Sad's ugly face in the bubble above my head.
Strong Sad → Strong Sad
- STRONG BAD: {first time only} {to the audience} Sometimes when talking to people, I can choose between saying something nice, and saying something that I would say. Choose the angel me to say something nice, or the devil me to be more of a jerk.
Strong Sad → Strong Sad → Angel
- STRONG BAD: Nice hat. It distracts people from your grotesquely bulbous midsection.
- STRONG SAD: It's a tweed deerstalker hat!
- STRONG BAD: I am sure that it is.
- STRONG BAD: {to the audience} Ok, enough chit chat, let's shake him down about my stolen laptop!
Strong Sad → Strong Sad → Devil
- STRONG BAD: You are ugly and you smell like old feet!
- STRONG SAD: I don't even know what old feet smell like.
- STRONG BAD: Corn chips and medicated creamsA
- STRONG SAD: Oh, you're right. I do.
- STRONG BAD: {to the audience} Ok, enough chit chat, let's shake him down about my stolen laptop!
Strong Sad → Laptop
- STRONG BAD: Where is my Lappy, you two-bit thief?
- STRONG SAD: What? No, I told you I don't want to be part of your stupid tutorial!
- STRONG BAD: If you want your magnifying glass back you will!
- STRONG SAD: Fine. Give it back and I'll say my line.
- STRONG BAD: {to the audience} To give my brother back his magnifying glass, just get it from your inventory and use it on him. Just like you did with the fingerprint in my computer room.
Magnifying glass → Strong Sad
- STRONG BAD: Here's your nerd glass. Now, where's my Lappy?!
- STRONG SAD: Thank you! {monotonously} I pawned your Lappy to Bubs so I could afford — do I have to say it? — {dejected} foot replacement surgery.
- STRONG BAD: Well, you sure need it pal, but that's no reason to steal someone else's expensive high tech electronic styles! I need to get to Bubs'!
- STRONG BAD: This is my map. It's what I use to get from point A to place B. You can access this map at any time by clicking the map icon in the top left part of the screen.
- STRONG BAD: Yes, okay... my map is looking a little... undernourished. I need to throw Bubs' Concession stand up here somewheres. As I discover wondrous new places, I will add them to my map.
- STRONG BAD: Simply point to a location and click it to travel there. Give it a try!
Strong Sad → Cancel
- STRONG BAD: Nevermind.
Attempting to go downstairs
- STRONG BAD: That goes downstairs. We won't be going down there in this tutorial.
- STRONG BAD: Hey! Stay focused, man!
Kitchen
Dead Plant
- {first time}
- STRONG BAD: This is Charlemagne, Strong Sad's plant. It used to be healthy, but after Strong Sad started talking to it, it decided to kill itself!
- STRONG SAD: That's not true!
- STRONG BAD: That's not what the note said!
- {each time thereafter}
- STRONG BAD: It's Strong Sad's suicidal plant.
Fridge
- STRONG BAD: Hit me witcha best food shot, fridge o' mine! {opens fridge} The only thing in here is some paleolithic Fluffy Puff Mayonnaise. Looks like someFATbody needs to go to the store.
- STRONG SAD: It was my turn last time!
- STRONG BAD: Eww, that Mayonnaise is so ancient, it's expiration date is chiseled on a stone tablet.
- {not at start of game}
- STRONG BAD: I think they say that once it turns a light grey, it's safe to eat again.
Microwave
- STRONG BAD: I cant use the WavyMic, its door's stuck shut with nacho entrails and mangled action figures.
Dishes
- STRONG BAD: I'll do the dishes once our skeet shooty flinger gets fixed.
Living Room
Melonade
- STRONG BAD: You've gotta see it when Strong Mad shotguns one of these things.
See Dee Spinner
- {music playing}
- STRONG BAD: Let's see what's in the ol' See Dee Spinner. {changes music} Uh. It's Strong Sad's copy of The Best of Brit-Pout, the Nineties Years.
- STRONG BAD: {changes music} Sounds like Coach Z has forced another one of his demos unto the world.
- STRONG BAD: I've had just about enough of that. Let's see what else is in there— {changes music} Oh joy, it's that copy of Jane's Austentacious Chamber Music Jam. I'd like to use this CD as a chamber pot.
- STRONG MAD:' MISTER DARCY!!! {SNIFF}
- STRONG BAD: {changes music} Whoa, what's this? The Cheat's assorted Latin Rhythms?
- STRONG BAD: Enough with the music already! {changes back to original music}
Smoke Detector
- STRONG BAD: That smoke detector hasn't had a battery since that day I made Strong Sad eat a 9-volt Po'Boy.
Window
- STRONG BAD: Sometimes I like to stand in front of my window and start flexing in case a girls' volleyball team is walking by.
- STRONG BAD: I know it's hard to tell from this angle, but the view from here is awesome!
- STRONG BAD: You wouldn't think, since we're on the first floor and everything, but the drop-off from this window's like, 20 feet or something.
Luxa Lounger
- STRONG BAD: {reclines chair} The Luxa Lounger is even more comfortable in its "Ridiculously Overextended" mode.
- STRONG BAD: {unreclines chair} The Luxa Lounger is great lounging-based needs, but man does it take up a lot of real estate!
- STRONG BAD: {reclines chair} Luxa Lounger Powers, activate!
- STRONG BAD: {unreclines chair} Doodle-oot!
Plaque (horse)
- STRONG BAD: {reading plaque} "The lonelient goat sees the last sunset last" — that's a horse.
Plaque (dog)
- STRONG BAD: {reading plaque} "The Cheat, watch your freakin' back, Squeaky!" Man that's one intimidating hushpuppy.
Strong Bad's Room
Drawing Table (first time only)
- STRONG BAD: You know what I need to add some much-needed hooah! to my day? A little thing I like to call Teen Girl Squad!
- {after the mini-game}
- STRONG BAD: Man, I can never get enough of that Sassy, Injury-Prone Teen Girl Squad! The only thing that could possibly make their adventures even more unfortunate would be if I used those Really Cool Teen Girl Ideas I jotted down last night after a fried chicken pizza bender—
- {looks around the table}
- STRONG BAD: Hey, what happened to all my Really Cool Teen Girl Squad Ideas?
7 Track Player
- STRONG BAD: Ah, the short lived 7 Track. Your lack of a play button was your undoing.
Messy Pile
- STRONG BAD: It's possible that my bed's under there, but I'm not touching it to find out.
- STRONG BAD: I sent some Sherpas in there a few weeks ago, but they haven't reported back.
Metal Detector
- STRONG BAD: All right, the Taranchula Black Metal Detector! I had to sell, like, 500 magazine subscriptions to get this baby. But it was totally worth it to be able to shoot radioactive positrons into the Earth's crust in search of rusty pennies!
Videlectrix Poster
- STRONG BAD: {first time only} That's my Videlectrix Poster that I got for sending in ten bucks to become a member of the Videlectrix Good Graphicketeers!
- STRONG BAD: "Videlectrix — We Use Computers... to Make Video Games!" I don't know why no one else has thought of that...
Fun Machine
- STRONG BAD: Nothing like a little snake fisticuffs to clear the mind... {picks up controller} Ok, show me that logo! {singing} Do do dooo doo... DIII! Awesome, Snake Boxer 5! So much better than the unfortunate Snake Boxer 4: Lady Snake Parade.
- {after the mini-game}
- STRONG BAD: That was awesome! The only thing that could make Snake Boxer 5 even cooler is using that secret code to unlock the game's controversial hidden mode. It's a good thing I wrote down the code in the manual right— over— {looks around} Hey! who took my Snake Boxer 5 manual?
- STRONG BAD: Must. Punch. Snakes.
- STRONG BAD: Whoah! This game is already, like, 50 times cooler than Snake Boxer 2: The Biting of Boxer Joe!
- STRONG BAD: Snake Boxer 5 really put the series back on track. Especially after Snake Boxer 3: Solving Problems through Diplomacy.
Laundry Room
Washer/Dryer
- STRONG BAD: Only Strong Sad seems to know the secrets to these mysterious mechanical devices.
The Cheat
- STRONG BAD: Hey! Look at that thing, over there.
- THE CHEAT: Mehr me meh me?
- {Strong Bad kicks The Cheat into the dryer}
- STRONG BAD: Holy pixelated Trogdor, what's that?
- THE CHEAT: Me mihr?
- STRONG BAD: Hey, turn around.
- THE CHEAT: Wii?
Dryer with The Cheat Inside
- STRONG BAD: How you doing in there, The Cheat?
- THE CHEAT: Me-mehr mimimi me mehr mer, me meh!
- STRONG BAD: Hey! Do you kiss your hot mom with that mouth?!?
Pennants
- STRONG BAD: Those are pennants from various academic institutions, unaccredited and discredited alike.
Basement
Couch
- STRONG BAD: Keep on keepin' my butt print warm for me couch.
Trogdor Arcade Game
- STRONG BAD: I can't play Trogdor until someone gets off their pasty white butt and fixes the joystick.
- STRONG SAD: {muffled} I'm workin' on it! But the parts are on back order!
TV
- STRONG BAD: Hey, it's that infomercial for the Ab-Abber 2000. It claims you can get a 9-pack in less than 40 scribbles a day!
- STRONG BAD: Hey! It's the Laugh Trackalicious Adventures of Guy and Girlfriend! Oh, this is the one where Guy thinks he kills Girlfriend's hamster and tries to replace it with another hamster but the first hamster had been dead all along so Girlfriend thinks it came back to life and then the hilarity— and the humor— and the original comedy television writing!
Outside
Mail Box
- STRONG BAD: Checkin' my snail mail, checkin' my snail mail! Hmmm, what's this? I'm ready for the big heist! Those smoky red laser beams don't stand a chance when I'm in this get up!
- STRONG BAD: Hmm, I think I'll put it in my fancy schmancy transdimensional photo-booth wardrobe.
Mail Box (empty)
- STRONG BAD: It's empty now. On account of all the emptyin' I did earlier.
Box
- STRONG BAD: {lifts box} Uhh, no.
Treasure Marker
- STRONG BAD: Whoa, there's buried treasure just outside my front door! I hope it's a bubblin' crude.
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