Let us give TANKS!

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Toon Category: Holiday Toon
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"I can never tell you guys apart!"

Blue Laser invites the Cheat Commandos to Thanksgiving dinner.

Cast (in order of appearance): Green Helmets, Gunhaver, Silent Rip, Reinforcements, Crackotage, Reynold, Firebert, Fightgar, Blue Laser Minions, Blue Laser Commander, Ripberger, Oliver Smidgen, Reynold's Brother

Places:

Date: November 21, 2006

Running Time: 5:00

Page Title: A Very Tremendous Chimendez Thanksgiving

Contents

Transcript

{the title appears — "LET US GIVE TANKS!!" written by A. Chimendez — over a shot of the Cheat Commando base in red, orange, yellow, and brown hills in the background and falling leaves. Light, percussive music plays.}

{Gunhaver and Silent Rip appear in front of the control panel and video screen, watching shaky video of three Cheat Commandos being assaulted by blue lasers and explosions on a smoky, war-torn landscape.}

CHEAT COMMANDO: We're taking heavy losses, sir. They've got us pinned down! We really need—

{The video image is interrupted by a siren and a yellow and orange screen with the text, "Thanksgiving Break Alert"}

GUNHAVER: All right! Thanksgiving break!

{The screen fades through static back to the Cheat Commandos}

CHEAT COMMANDO: But sir! We could really use some—

{Gunhaver turns off the monitor and turns to Silent Rip}

GUNHAVER: I love Thanksgiving break!

{The camera focuses on Silent Rip}

SILENT RIP: Uh, shouldn't we go help him?

{The camera zooms out to include Gunhaver, along with Reinforcements and Fightgar}

GUNHAVER: Naw, he's just one of those green helmets. We got like fifty of them. So, what's everybody doing for the holiday?

{The camera shifts to Reynold}

REYNOLD: I'm going to stay at my parents' house! If they haven't rented out my room... again... to my brother.

{Gunhaver salutes the Cheat Commandos as they leave}

GUNHAVER: Well, have a good time, soldiers. I'll just be here in case Blue Laser tries to blow up over-the-river-and-through-the-woods... so that no one to grandmother's house... can go.

{The scene shifts to a small cottage in the autumn woods with a gravel path and smoke rising out of the stone chimney. Transition music plays}

{Cut to the inside of the cottage. A Blue Laser minion is preparing a turkey in the kitchen. Blue Laser Commander enters, brandishing a meat fork.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: I thought I told you to fiendishly dice the evil onions!

BLUE LASER MINION 1: No sir.

{The camera pans to a second Blue Laser Minion chopping onions with fiendish faces drawn on them on the counter.}

BLUE LASER MINION 2: That was me, sir.

{Camera pans back to Blue Laser Commander}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: I can never tell you two apart! {hurls the meat fork into the offscreen second minion's eye}

BLUE LASER MINION 2: Ow.

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: There! Now you're the one with the fork stuck in your eye!

{The door crashes open and the Fightgar, Firebert, and Silent Rip enter, armed with guns.}

FIGHTGAR: Sorry Blue Laser — the only thanks you'll be giving is getting shot by us with our bullet-shooting guns!

{Blue Laser Commander approaches the Cheat Commandos}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: What?!

FIGHTGAR: Aw, just kiddin'. {smiles, along with Firebert} Thanks for havin' us over!

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: {laughs and smiles} You really had me going for a second there. Get in here, you guys!

{Fightgar, Firebert, and Silent Rip enter, followed by Ripberger}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Ripberger, you made it! {Ripberger stops at the door} I thought you were only available for a limited time with three proofs of purchase!

RIPBERGER: I brought some ambrosia salad! {displays the salad}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Uh! Where's Gunhaver?!

{The camera pans to Fightgar and Silent Rip}

SILENT RIP: {scratching his head} Uh, we kinda didn't give him your invitation. Gunhaver has a bit of a hard time cutting loose.

{The scene cuts to Gunhaver in the Cheat Commandos base, saluting a flag labeled "The Flag" which is being blown by a fan.}

GUNHAVER: Forty-seven! Forty-eight! Forty-nine! Fifty! C'mon Gunhaver, you maggot! Give me fifty more! One! Two! Three!

{The scene cuts back to the cottage, with Blue Laser Commander and Fightgar at a table with plates, the turkey, and yams with marshmallows.}

FIGHTGAR: Uh... I guess... Claude Monet, and um... Manchester United!

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: That's good, that's good! Now what about you, Silent Rip?!

{The camera pans over to Silent Rip.}

SILENT RIP: I'm thankful for this bountiful Blue Laser Thanksgiving action playset!

{A "ding" noise is heard and the words "CHEAP AS FREE" appear in a cloud bubble in the corner of the scene}

{The camera cuts to Crackotage}

CRACKOTAGE: I'm thankful for the gift of rhyme!!

{The camera cuts to Ripberger}

RIPBERGER: Ambrosia salad!

{The camera cuts back to Crackotage}

CRACKOTAGE: I'm also thankful for this lime! {holds up a lime} Hibbety-jeebity!

{The camera cuts to Blue Laser Commander}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Plutonium at closeout prices!

{The camera cuts to a Blue Laser minion}

BLUE LASER MINION 1: I'm thankful I don't have a fork in my eye, sir.

{The camera cuts back to Blue Laser Commander}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: My Nana's new hip!

{The camera cuts to the Blue Laser minion with a fork stuck through his visor into his eye}

BLUE LASER MINION 2: I'm... thankful for this fork in my eye.

'{The scene cuts to Gunhaver, facing the camera in front of the control panel.}

GUNHAVER: So I exchanged it for something of lesser value, and they gave me the rest in store credit!

{The camera comes behind Gunhaver's back to show him standing in front of the video monitor with the anonymous Cheat Commando onscreen.}

CHEAT COMMANDO: That's great sir! A real value. But we could really use some air support.

GUNHAVER: Yeah, I should go too. Gotta check in on Blue Laser.

CHEAT COMMANDO: Please, NO—

{Gunhaver brings up the Blue Laser cottage on the video monitor, showing Blue Laser Commander, Fightgar, Silent Rip, and a Blue Laser minion at the table with the turkey.}

FIGHTGAR: Ambros-er-a salad... sayin' right, right, right, right...

GUNHAVER: Tight butts! Blue Laser has captured the Cheat Commandos and is forcing them to sit down to a delicious meal and pleasant conversation! Hang on, boys. Daddy Gunhavvy's on his way! {walks away from the monitor}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: But I'm not thankful for that guy over there with the camera!

{The scene cuts to Reinforcements, who is using a camera and lights to record the Thanksgiving dinner.}

REINFORCEMENTS: Hey, guys.

{The camera focuses on Silent Rip and Blue Laser Commander}

SILENT RIP: Uh-oh. You know what that means.

{The camera cuts to Fightgar.}

FIGHTGAR: It won't be long before...

{Gunhaver comes out of the turkey pointing a handgun.}

GUNHAVER: Gobble, gobble... you're in trobble!

CRACKOTAGE: {offscreen} Hey, that's not bad!

{The camera cuts to Blue Laser Commander.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Gunhaver! You actually have a gun!

{The camera cuts back to Gunhaver, with the silhouettes of two Cheat Commandos in the foreground}

GUNHAVER: Cheat Commandos, run! For cover! {camera zooms in} Blue Laser is clearly trying to have you all over for dinner!

{The camera cuts to Silent Rip}

SILENT RIP: Uh, yeah! He invited you too! But we didn't tell you because we were afraid you'd do something like this!

{The camera cuts back to Gunhaver.}

GUNHAVER: And I did! The Cheat Commandos win again!

{The camera cuts to Blue Laser Commander.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Well, since you're here... {clasps his hands together} Play us a song, won't you Charles?

{The camera pans past several Cheat Commandos, all murmuring in agreement}

GUNHAVER: A—a song? No, I couldn't possibly... it's been so long, I...

{The camera cuts back to Gunhaver, with a small, dirty Cheat Commando wearing a cap behind him.}

OLIVER SMIDGEN: Won't you play us a song, Gun'aver?

GUNHAVER: All right, you talked me into it. One song!

{Cut to Gunhaver sitting at a black upright piano with the Cheat Commandos and Blue Laser gathered around.}

GUNHAVER: This is one everybody knows, so give me a hand, boys. {begins playing the piano and singing} Buy all our playsets and...

CHEAT COMMANDOS AND BLUE LASER: Ooh!

GUNHAVER: {singing} Buy all our playsets and...

{Ripberger descends upside-down from the ceiling.}

CHEAT COMMANDOS AND BLUE LASER: Ah!

GUNHAVER: {singing} Buy all our playsets and...

EVERYONE: {singing} Toys!

{The camera pans past Fightgar, Silent Rip, and the Blue Laser minion with the fork in his eye. The camera focuses on the piano keys, which Gunhaver is playing the Cheat Commandos theme song, and then cuts back to everyone in front of the piano}

EVERYONE: Yeah!

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: A holiday classic!

{Smoke begins wafting through the top of the room.}

SILENT RIP: Uh, what's that smell?

FIGHTGAR: How should I know? You're the one called Silent Rip!

GUNHAVER: That's all me. I stuck a nuclear device in the oven in case I didn't make it out of here alive! {several of the attendees open their mouths in surprise}

{The scene cuts to Reynold's room, with his brother playing video games. There are several speakers in the room; the ones in the foreground are shaking as they play music. The Blue Laser cottage can be seen outside the window with smoke rising from it.}

MUSIC: No one understands me! No one understands me!

{Reynold enters the room, covering his ears}

REYNOLD: Will you turn that noise down?!

REYNOLD'S BROTHER: You're so lame.

MUSIC: No one understands me... but YOU!

{The Blue Laser cottage explodes and the glass window of Reynold's room shatters}

{The screen shifts to a picture of Gunhaver coming out of the turkey, with the message, "Happy Thanksgiving! from those Cheat Commandos" and the "Buy all our playsets and toys" music.}

Easter Eggs

  • At the end, click on "Cheat Commandos" to see Oliver Smidgen and Reynold's Brother action figures.
  • At the end, click on the turkey drumstick to see Blue Laser order around a minion.
    BLUE LASER COMMANDER: {Holding a plate of food} I need you to take this plate of food, make a milkshake out of it, and spread it on Nana's gums for her!
    BLUE LASER MINION: I'm going to go ahead and disobey a direct order, sir.
    BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Understandable!!

Fun Facts

Explanations

  • The "Green Helmets" are minor, expendable characters added so "heroes" can die without losing any members of the main cast. Such characters are frequently called "Redshirts", due to the fact that such characters in Star Trek usually wore red shirts.

Trivia

  • This is the first time Ripberger is heard speaking.
  • This is the first Cheat Commandos cartoon to feature civilian characters besides Reynold.
  • The Blue Laser Commander exclaims, "Gunhaver! You actually have a gun!" Indeed, in spite of his name, this is the first time Gunhaver is actually seen holding a gun. However, his gun appeared in Shopping for Danger, though Blue Laser Commander never saw it.
  • The Blue Laser Commander's comment about Reinforcements' camera pretends to break the Fourth Wall.

Goofs

The floating lime
  • When Crackotage's arm went down after showing the lime, the lime doesn't descend with his arm.

Inside References

Real-World References

  • The Lil' Steiny piano is a reference to Steinway & Sons pianos.
  • "Over the river and through the woods" is a reference to the Christmas song, Over the River and Through the Woods, by Lydia Maria Child.
  • Oliver Smidgen is an allusion to Oliver Twist and Tiny Tim.
  • Claude Monet (1840-1926) was a French Impressionist painter.
  • Manchester United Football Club is a world-famous English football club.
  • Reynold's brother dresses and acts very much like a stereotypical kindergoth.
  • The poster in Reynold's Brother's room displays the anarchy symbol.
  • The gun that Gunhaver is holding resembles a Colt .45 M1911.

External Links

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