Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 16.2

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Marzipan's Answering Machine #16
watch Version 15.2 Version 17.2
"Marzipan be gone! Strong Sad be here!"

Strong Sad house-sits, which perturbs Marzipan's usual callers.

Cast (in order of appearance): Marzipan, Strong Sad, Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Coach Z, The King of Town, Bubs (Easter egg)

Places: Marzipan's House

Date: Monday, March 2, 2009

Running Time: 4:42

Page Title: Temporary Steward's Answering Machine


[edit] Transcript

[edit] Marzipan's Greeting

MARZIPAN: Hi, this is Marzipan. I'm off volunteering in the Coches Mountains, teaching the heathens how to bend pipe cleaners. I'll be back inβ€”

{Strong Sad's arm appears and he presses the "record" button.}

STRONG SAD: Sorry, Marzy.

{Cut to full view of Strong Sad in front of the table.}

STRONG SAD: Time to exercise one of my favorite perks of house-sitting!

{Strong Sad presses the button again. Cut to shot of the answering machine.}

[edit] Strong Sad's Greeting 1

STRONG SAD: {rolls R} Grrrreetings, weary telephone traveler. I sense you have come in search of Marzipan, but you have stumbled upon so much more! 'Tis I, Strong Sad, house-sitter extraordinaire. Please organize your thoughts for Marzipan in order of least depressing to most depressing. As for crank calls, allow me to give you a theme: furtive glances.

{Strong Sad presses the button again. Cut to full view of Strong Sad in front of the table.}

STRONG SAD: {puts hand on head} Ugh, too verbose. Come on, Sads, {smacks belly} quick and to the point! In and out! Hook 'em and cook 'em!

[edit] Strong Sad's Greeting 2

STRONG SAD: {rapping} Marzipan be gone! Strong Sad be here, so drop your purpose in mine ear! I'll pass it on before too long—

{Strong Sad presses the button again. Cut to full view of Strong Sad in front of the table.}

STRONG SAD: Let's pretend that never happened.

{Strong Sad presses the button again. Cut to shot of the answering machine.}

[edit] Strong Sad's Greeting 3

STRONG SAD: Hello, this is Strong Sad, temporary steward of Marzipan's domicile. Please leave your jumbled message at the tone, so I can articulately reword it in journal form for Marzipan to read upon her safe return.

{Strong Sad presses the button again. Cut to full view of Strong Sad in front of the table.}

STRONG SAD: {raising arm} Good enough for guv'ent work I say!

{Cut to a black screen with red lettering reading "SOON..."}

[edit] Message 6

STRONG BAD: Wait, what? Hold on, I wasn't prepared for this.. Just gimme a sec. {Writing noises, paper turning, and Strong Bad mumbling in the background} Okay, I'm ready. Yes, this is... {very long and drawn out} Strooong Baaad calling for... Strooong... Saaad... uh, I'm gonna knee you in the face... for breakfast? Hold on, let me reconfigure and call back.

[edit] Message 5

STRONG BAD: Hey, Ella Phantzgerald. I left some of my stuff over at Marzipan's the last time she always had me over there for dinner all the time. So when you come home, could you be sure to grab my Marzipan's TV, my Marzipan's guitar and amp, and oh yeah, my Marzipan's cash and her jewelry. {A silhouette of Strong Bad carrying a large object walks across the screen} If you do, the chance of dead things in your bed drops into the 42 percent range!

{Zoom out to reveal Strong Bad carrying a large guitar amp with jewels hanging on the corner. Strong Sad is standing next to the answering machine.}

STRONG BAD: {To Strong Sad} Yeah, you can ignore that one.

{He walks off the screen. Cut back to answering machine.}

[edit] Message 4

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Dang, Marzipan, you sounding fine! You sound finer than the fine you get when you return a movie late to the movie store!

{Zoom out to reveal Homestar standing next to, and facing away from, Strong Sad and the answering machine. Strong Sad has a disgusted look on his face. Homestar is actually speaking as opposed to the sound being a recorded message.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You're even sounding finer than a three dollar fine for new releases! Maybe I should swing by for a lit—

STRONG SAD: {Hands on hips, yelling at Homestar, angrily} That is quite enough!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Turns around, surprised} Oh! Marzipan! {Dejected} You look, um, great. Is that a new... skin you're wearing?

STRONG SAD: {angrier} It's Strong Sad!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: It is! It is strong sad and strong unfortunate what happened to your face! {Gets right up in Strong Sad's face} Ooh! Pyoww!

{He runs off-screen, then runs back on, and gets back in Strong Sad's face}


{He runs off-screen again}

[edit] Message 3

COACH Z: What a crock! This is not what I plunked 9 bucks in quarters into a broken pay phone to hear! Strong Sad, remind me to kick your shins unmercifully next time I see ya! And also, ya think the five hundred feet from Marzipan's house thing still counts if she's not in it? {suggestively} Cause I cop some sweet gooseflesh when I hit that four hundred 'n ninety-seven foot range. {normal} Ooh! Creeped myself out there. Gonna hang up!

[edit] Message 2

THE KING OF TOWN: {Munching} What? Sorry, I didn't hear your outgoing message. I was choking down a chocolate-dipped tapeworm. Anyways, agent Panzimar, about the plot against S. Sad, things are moving along just as planned. Hit a snag with step 2, though: the camel died and was decidedly undelicious. Will move forward with barrel of hot sauce approach. Provided that makes it past dinner time, look for my signal in the northwest sky. Ting of Kown, out!

[edit] Message 1

MARZIPAN: Strong Sad! What did you do to my outgoing message? Those things are like my adopted foreign babies! Anyway, I forgot to tell you that a guy named Slick Somebody called from a place called—

{Cut to wide shot of the room. Strong Sad is gone. There are foot imprints in the carpet where he stood.}

MARZIPAN: —Marzipan's Stupid Face plumbing, and said he replaced my toilet's {doubtfully} Roman candle valve? Whatever that is. So maybe don't flush the toilet until—

{From offscreen, Strong Sad flushes the toilet and several explosions go off. Several flashes are seen and toilet water splashes onto the floor.}

STRONG SAD: {weakly} Ohhh...

{Cut back to the answering machine.}

[edit] Easter Eggs

  • After listening to all the messages, click on the tape deck to hear Bubs.
BUBS: Marzipan, it's Bubs! You're three weeks late on that movie rental, lady! And that V. I. Warshawski still counts as a new release! That's three dollars a day! Plus, what's wrong witcha voice? You sound all fat, depressing, and Allan Poe. And you're gonna be real po' if you don't pay that late fee! Heh heh heh. Shop at Bubs'!

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] Explanations

  • Heathens are persons regarded as irreligious, uncivilized, or unenlightened.
  • Tapeworms are parasitic flatworms that often live in the digestive tract of animals.

[edit] Trivia

[edit] Fixed Goofs

  • The running time on the New Stuff menu was originally 3:30. This was corrected the following week.

[edit] Inside References

[edit] Real-World References

[edit] Fast Forward

[edit] External Links

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