Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 6.0

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Revision as of 15:40, 16 October 2005

The number you have reached is not your boyfriend calling you.

Marzipan has only a few weeks to live, the King of Town needs advice on being cool, Strong Bad brags about his imaginary girlfriend, and Homestar insults his real girlfriend.

Cast (in order of appearance): Marzipan, Strong Bad, The King of Town, Kevin, Homestar Runner

Places: Marzipan's House

Date: January 22, 2002

Running Time: 3:04

Page Title: Marzipan's Answering Machine Volume 4

Transcript

Marzipan's Greeting

MARZIPAN: Hi, this is Marzipan. I'm sittin' in my dark room... thinkin'. Please leave me a message. {beep}

Message 5

STRONG BAD: Oh, yes. Hello, Marzipan. This is your doctor, Dr. Professional. And I, uh, your results have come back from the lab, and I'm afraid I have some bad news. Um, you've been diagnosed with serious problems. I mean, these are really serious, man... and, I only give you a couple of weeks, sadly. Um, so it's hard to break this news to you, but if I were you, I would start giving your stuff away to people, um, like, maybe put your stereo out on the sidewalk right now, and then go back inside and- and look for some other stuff that, um, maybe I might-- I mean, people might want to have. Um, okay! Hope you had a good life.

Message 4

THE KING OF TOWN: Ooh! Hey, Marzipan, it's the King. Um, I wanted to talk to you because I've been noticing recently that I... I'm not very cool, and, nobody really likes me. Um, so I thought maybe you could give me some pointers, or put in a good word for me with the guys. You know, I mean I like the same bands as you guys and... or maybe you could- I could get them something like you could tell me what kind of video games they like or something, like... I'm getting kind of desperate and lonely.. Okay, bye!

Message 3

KEVIN: Hey, Marzipan. This is Kevin. Uh, we were just calling.. a bunch of us are over here... just seeing what you were doing tonight. Um, give us a call back. Alright.

Message 2

STRONG BAD: Uh, hey Marzipan. This is Strong Bad. Um, I was wondering if you could help me with a dilemma I have. Uh, I don't know what to get for my GIRLFRIEND for Valentine's Day. Um, you know, my GIRLfriend.. who, uh, lives up in the other country, um, that you've never met, and you'll probably never meet her. But, uh, she's really REAL, you know... so I'm trying to think of what to get her, like, chocolates or flowers or something, you know, REAL.. the type of thing that you give to a REAL person that EXISTS. Um.. so, you know, any ideas you have, 'cause my girlfriend really likes presents from me, her real boyfriend. Uh... okay! Just gimme a call.

Message 1

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hey, Marzipan! This is Homestar. Um, I was wondering if you could help me with a dilemma I'm having. I can't think of what to get my girlfriend for Valentine's Day. Um, she's kind of annoying, and overbearing, and kind of a big hippie. So if you could... buh.. oh. {poorly imitates operator error tone} Doo doo doo!! The number you have reached is not... your boyfriend calling you... uh... right now. {poorly imitates dial tone} Doooooo do do do do dooooooo this is the dial tone doooooooooooooo. Okay, bye!

Fun Facts

• Kevin Scott was the music director (and is still a DJ) at UMFM, the campus radio station for the University of Manitoba. On May 20, 2003, he interviewed The Brothers Chaps at length for his radio station. It has mistakenly been assumed that he is the "Kevin" in this answering machine message, but he has since denied this. It appears instead to be an identity known only to TBC.
• Although this is version six, the page title reads "Marzipan's Answering Machine Volume 4."

External Links

• watch "Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 6"
• view the Flash file for "Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 6"