Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters

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Some characters make a very brief appearance in Teen Girl Squad, often hurting one of the girls. Usually, they are never seen again. These are those characters.

Contents

Issue 1


A Helicopter

Darn the torpedoes!

This Helicopter made its first and only appearance in the first Teen Girl Squad issue. Surprisingly, this aircraft was the first object to harm living creatures in the entire series, yet its victims did not include one of the girls. Strong Bad supplied the rapid fire noise of its deadly projectiles.

Dinosaur

The Beckham of Prehistory

The Dinosaur punted What's Her Face across the cartoon. Just after this, she was heard to remark, "Dag, yo." She died upon landing.

Issue 2

Cloud Monster

Bad weather

As the girls go to look so good, a cloud in the background grows angry eyes and a mouthful of sharp teeth. This Cloud Monster quickly chomped on some birds.

No I In Team Boy

No "I" in dead either

No "i" in team boy is a boy who goes out with So and So, which causes her friends to get jealous. When So and So mentions that she's totally crushing, the boy gets hit by a truck (driven by Arrow'd Guy) marked "CHILDREN".

The Vulture and the Bat

SWOOP'D!!
GRASP'D!

The Vulture swooped The Ugly One when she got jealous of So and So getting the "No I In Team Boy" to date her. The Bat grasped Cheerleader for the same reasons.

Issue 3

Buzzsaw Sun

This sun turned into a buzzsaw, and chopped up some birds in this episode.


Thrift Store Girl

When you can't afford a sign..

This girl is found at the thrift store that What's Her Face shopped at. She stays behind a rack of shirts, holding a sign that reads, "1 or 2 cent each item." Although she is assumed to be a girl, her gender isn't actually verified.

Possums

When possums attack

A wave of possums, announced by a menacingly voiced "Poooosssssummmmms...!" attacked What's Her Face as she walked home from the thrift store. They got her dirty and tore her clothing, but didn't kill her. When she met up with the other girls, one possum was seen still attacking her. The possum attack apparently made What's Her Face's blood hurt.

Issue 4

Brett Bretterson

Love hurts

Brett Bretterson is an imaginary person whom So And So made up in first grade. He is so far only mentioned in Teen Girl Squad Issue 4. Not paying attention to her friends saying that he's not real, So And So treats Brett as if he was real and acts like she can see and hear him. This causes the other girls to be weirded out. Brett and So And So were going to study together when falling in the Fighting Growlbacks Bottomless Spirit Pit ends their plans abruptly.

So And So is in love with Brett, and when she thinks of him hearts appear over her head. One of them grew a face just as it was pierced with an arrow.

Brett may or may not be a real person, too; Strong Bad mentions him to be a "terrible animator" in best thing's commentary.

Quarterback

Quarterman

The Quarterback for the Fighting Growlbacks is a target of the affections of Cheerleader. He dismisses her with the quip "How's about you get some brains?" This causes Cheerleader to get CEREBELLUM'D by Arrow'd Guy's Giant Brain Mech

Giant Brain Mech

How's about you get some brains?

The Giant Brain Mech is a giant brain with lips and an eye patch. It is apparently mechanical, because Arrow'd Guy can be seen controlling the thing under a glass dome. The brain CEREBELLUM'D! Cheerleader when the Quarterback suggested that she should go get some brains. This contraption bears some resemblance to the brain of the robot Tampo, whom Stinkoman defeats in his game "Stinkoman 20X6."

Issue 5

Fat Bird

PERCH!

The fat bird is first seen in Issue 5, perched on the "meanwhile, ON VACATION" sign in the transition scene. Later in the cartoon, when The Ugly One gets nervous and sticks her head in the sand, the fat bird flies down and perches on her side. The bird doesn't seem to do anything after that. It just sits there with its tongue hanging out for the rest of the cartoon.

Olda Boys

I too miss video games

The Olda Boys are college boys that were at the vacation beach with Cheerleader, So and So, and The Ugly One. One misses video games, but the other misses his mom even more. They can also do a pretty cool jam together, made from what they both say. The longer-haired one earned a Quote of the Week.

Issue 6

Gift Exchange Lion

Now with more 3-legged action!

This lion, who seems to be missing a leg, appears in Decemberween Teen Girl Squad. Cheerleader, So and So, and The Ugly One all dive into its mouth in pursuit of Decemberween presents, but What's Her Face declines.

Smiley Face Man

A nose from the happy judge

This happy fellow is a judge in the Decemberween Teen Girl Squad. He and the other two judges (who are both Arrow'd Guy) TWO'D The Ugly One for her cannonball into the Gift Exchange Lion's mouth. He rates Cheerleader's dive into the lion's mouth a "nose" along with the other judges. Noticeable is the fact that he can move his arms along his skinny body. His "shoulder" is not visible until he lifts up the sign. Little else is known about this person, or what the value of a "nose" is in competitive Lion's mouth jumping.

Hawaiian Guy

Singing about babies

This musician wears a hat, Hawaiian shirt, and plays an ukulele. He sang "Wave o' Babies" as a wave of babies appeared.

Wave o' Babies

Diaper tsunami!

These babies are in a giant wave that crashed into What's Her Face. They are seen caving onto What's Her Face, but the actual crash is not shown. It is possible that the wave just swept past without stopping. This is further supported by the fact that after the crash, only two babies are visible clinging onto What's Her Face, while all the others are gone.

Gazelle Carcass

Bonus: Half-Digested!

This half-digested animal is presented by The Ugly One at the very end of Decemberween Teen Girl Squad to Cheerleader to her dismay. All of the other girls seem to be pleased at the sight of the dead animal, despite the negative aspects of decomposing carcasses.


Issue 7

Fat Man

Fat Man Squishes

He's a fat man who wears a singlet similar to Strong Mad's. He fell down a slide and squished Teeny Tiny Cheerleader while she was throwing a tantrum. He bears a striking resemblance to pro wrestler King Kong Bundy.

Bill Bellamy

The bell tolls for thee

This is the bell seen in Issue 7. His role is similar to that of the Intercom, but specific relationship details are unknown. He bears the same name as actor and comedian Bill Bellamy.

Issue 8

Intercom

Who's that hiding in the wheel?

The Intercom is a feature of the Teen Girl Squad's school. It is hanging up high in the girls' classroom. It is responsible for announcing things like the school lunch. It will also give orders on occasion. Later in the cartoon, the Intercom is seen mounted on a robot body, hosting the Battle of the Bands. It was shown introducing the bands "Fatty's Big Chance" and the Teen Girl Squad "Kissyboots."

Floor Tom

Floor Tom, the evil drum

When The Ugly One does her 16-hour drum solo, she was rudely interrupted by an evil floor tom (a type of drum included in a drumset that stands on the floor with 3 legs) when it FLOOR TOMMED her by biting her top half off. This was just one of three events that stopped her drum solo, as she was also STEP-MOMMED and POM POMMED.

Mrs. So-and-so-erson

"YOU LITTLE BRATS BEST SHUT YER YAPS!!!"

So and So's stepmom. She has questionable taste, and like a million jogging suits.

Fatty

Consider it Picked!

Fatty is the sole member of the one-man saxophone band, "Fatty's Big Chance". He attends the same school as the Teen Girl Squad members. He played before Kissyboots in the "Battle of The Bands". With his two tone suit and rousing chant of "pick it up, pick it up," Fatty is a ska machine.


Trolls

KRA'AGH!

The trolls enter So and So's dressing room while So and So is wearing lots of black. In their native tongue, they ask her for her autograph. Apparently So and So can understand them, and is happy to oblige. But before she could sign, she was TWELVE-SIDED DIED!, inexplicably by a 20-sided die.

A Shark

A seaworthy bass

Whilst What's Her Face is playing for the battle of the bands, her bass turns into a shark. This causes What's Her Face to comment, "My bass feels seaworthy." The shark quickly bit off What's Her Face's "most of her" (the top half of her body). Amazingly, the shark can also play bass even with no fingers, so Cheerleader made him her new backup band. The shark followed along with the song quite nicely, but was heard chomping Cheerleader as soon as the song was finished.

Issue 9

Learner's Permit Girl

TEN O' CLOCK AND TWO O' CLOCK!

Learner's Permit Girl first appears in Teen Girl Squad Issue 9. She is not a very good driver, and ends up killing Cheerleader. On the plus side, she gives Strong Bad a ride to Babbage's.

Science Fiction Greg

He knew she'd come back to him

Science Fiction Greg is an old boyfriend of What's Her Face, and, judging by his name, is a science fiction fan. After Cheerleader died, he admits that he knew that she would come back to him. He also claims that his experience points went into triple digits and had to keep the ladies and valkyries off with a 2 handed plus 3 broad sword. Apparently, this claim bites D N'D Greg's style.

Friends of Science Fiction Greg

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum

Putative friends of Science Fiction Greg. They listen patiently as he brags about his relationship with What's Her Face and his experience points. Character on the left bears a resemblence to an overweight character often found in Gary Larson's Far Side cartoons.

D N'D Greg

File:dndGreg.PNG
Quit bitin' my style

An apparent Dungeons and Dragons expert. Science Fiction Greg's boasting bites his style.

Vultures

Vulture'd!

When Mr. Pitters tries to join the Teen Girl Squad, these fiendish birds tell him that he "ain't no Teen Girl" before eating him at a fancy dinner. According to the second vulture, Mr. Pitters tastes "quite good, quite good." They may be an evolution of the vulture from Issue 2.

Port-O-John

Johnny Rite There

Port-O-John is a portable outhouse that came to life and put on a play with So and So once Cheerleader died in Teen Girl Squad Issue 9. It didn't get very good reviews, however, and he is killed by Arrow'd Guy.

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