Pants

From Homestar Runner Wiki

This article is about pants in general. For the running gag about whether Homestar Runner wears pants, see Homestar Runner's Pants.

Very few of Free Country, USA's residents actually wear pants, as shown in senior prom: when Strong Bad's plan to poof away everybody's pants backfires he realizes that he's "the only one that wears any pants". Most notably, it is an ongoing mystery as to whether or not Homestar Runner wears them. Given the relaxed nature of Free Country's social expectations concerning pants, it is surprising that Homestar and his friends discuss them with great frequency — the subject of pants is an unending source of humor for them.

Coach Z's References to Pants

Pants-related jokes are especially popular with Coach Z:

• Email super powers — Coach Z and Homestar attempt to discuss tight pants.
• Email lunch special — Coach Z orders a basket of double hot wings "pants down".
• Email secret recipes — After discovering he'd just eaten a bunch of The Cheat fur, Coach Z says he's about to "puke [his] pants". Strong Bad flees before he demonstrates the process.
• Email rock opera — Coach Z provides the word "pants" as part of the line "double pants" in the rock opera.
• A Folky Tale — Coach Z tells Strong Sad to "cram a little oom-pah down your pants" in an effort to get him to climb a rope.
• Email alternate universe (Easter egg) — Coach Z, while holding a pear covered in googly eyes and with coffee continually streaming down his mouthless face, tells Homestar he is "not at liberty to discuss what [he] just did in [his] pants."
• Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 1.0 — Coach Z suggests that Marzipan put something in Homestar's pants to cheer him up.

Other Pants

Other characters also enjoy a pants-related joke from time to time:

• Fortune Cookies — One of the fortunes reads "Clumsiness will bring about a change of pants."
• That A Ghost — Old-Timey Strong Bad claims he will be "marching around in gold pants in no time!" Later, as a skeleton, he complains that he will "never find gold pants that fit this tiny waist!"
• Hallrunner — One of the objects you encounter is a rabid dog that "bites the butt off your pants. Like in cartoons."
• Peasant's Quest — The narrator of the Peasant's Quest Preview and movie trailer, as well as other characters, make frequent references to Rather Dashing's short pants.
  • Another reference to these short pants appears at the beginning of the email for kids.
• Email stand-up — Strong Sad shows us a video in which Lil' Strong Bad's pants fall down while he's on stage.
• Email vacation — One of the places Strong Bad visits is "Fabulous Downtown Pantsburg". Also, in Strong Bad's imaginary email that he recites, Monkey D asks how Homestar can pick things up if he's not wearing "Marzi-pants" (a variation on the infamous "How do you type with boxing gloves on?" and Homestar's lack of visible arms).
• Email funny — In an effort to be funny, Strong Bad says he has "squeaky pants".
• Email haircut — Strong Bad calls one of his designs for Strong Mad's eyebrows "Hammer Pants".
• Email local news — Summarizing the weather report, Strong Bad says "Bundle up, but keep your swimsuit on outside your pants."
• Commandos in the Classroom — Blue Laser Minions tell Fightgar to stuff wine coolers down his pants, but quickly change the request from pants to headband upon realizing he doesn't wear them.
• Email bottom 10 — Homestar sings "Buttdance again! Like the rhythm's down your pants now!", causing Strong Bad to vomit on his keyboard.
• Email portrait — A portion of a newspaper article near one of Strong Bad's portraits reads "Wipe hands on pants, yo".
• Email candy product — Strong Bad's SBLOUNSKCHED! bar resembles his own pants.
• Email highschool — According to Strong Bad's "doodle memory", one of the things he and Strong Mad do in high school is try to liberate or emancipate Homestar from his ridiculous striped pants.
• Email alternate universe — As Strong Bad is warped around the multiverse by Homestar, he meets his high school counterpart who says "striped pants".
• Email senior prom — Strong Bad crashes the prom and threatens to "poof away" everyone's pants in a massive pantsing, but then realizes he is the only one there who is wearing pants. His pants poof away, leaving him standing in a pair of boxer shorts. (Homestar, who claims to wear long pants, is not affected, but later claims he was.)
• Email strong badathlon — After being disqualified from the Remote Put, Strong Bad says to check the East German's pants.
• Email unnatural — Homestar, convinced Bubs has turned all the other citizens of Free Country, USA into ants, suggests the group go jump in somebody's pants.
• An Important Rap Song — Gunhaver tells Blue Laser Commander to put his pants back on, to which the Commander replies, "How could you possibly refer to these as PANTS?!"
• Email rough copy — Strong Bad threatens to literally sue the pants off Malinko for drawing comics about himself and The Cheat.
• DNA Evidence — Homsar says, "AaAaAaAaA! These Easter pants are getting way too tight!"
• Ever and More! — Bubs mentions that he's always grouchy because he hasn't been able to wear his lucky pants for almost 10 years.
• Email the chair — Le Restige has a sweatpants button.
• Email hygiene — Part two of Embarrassing Educational Films covers "Pants Problems".
• Main Page 24 — Strong Bad searches for his pants, which Strong Sad has.
• Limozeen vs. Sloshy — A line from the song "Because it's Midnite" mentions pants.
• Marshie vs. Little Girl — Puppet Marshie says "Boogidy-boogidy! I'll scare your pants!"
• Toikey TV — Marzipan makes a dish called Faux-ducken which is baked inside a pair of hemp toddler pants.
• Email nightlife — Strong Bad orders a "pink elephant pants" and gets thrown out because his pants are attracted to the lighted floors. His pants then land on his head.

See also

• Homestar Runner's Pants