Editing Puppets on the Road

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'''CRAIG ZOBEL:''' ''{immediately afterwards in failed unison}'' —death.
'''CRAIG ZOBEL:''' ''{immediately afterwards in failed unison}'' —death.
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Death. ...Are we rolling?
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Death. Are we rolling?
''{Cut to a flock of birds taking flight in the park. The following appears on screen:}''
''{Cut to a flock of birds taking flight in the park. The following appears on screen:}''
Line 59: Line 59:
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Are you even ''in'' film school?
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Are you even ''in'' film school?
-
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' I'm not, not even— no.
+
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' I'm not, not even no.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' "Not even no"? What kind of grammar is that?!
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' "Not even no"? What kind of grammar is that?!
Line 69: Line 69:
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' That's not enough.
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' That's not enough.
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I cut it on a Nagra... sound recorder. See, you don't even know what that is. That's film-school talk.
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I cut it on a Nagra...sound recorder. See you don't even know what that is. That's film-school talk.
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' Well, it's a sound recorder.
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' Well, it's a sound recorder.
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'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' It's, uh, it's a chunk of ice.
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' It's, uh, it's a chunk of ice.
-
 
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I—
 
''{He throws the ice in Homestar's mouth.}''
''{He throws the ice in Homestar's mouth.}''
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' AUH-hah!! ''{He screams and spits repeatedly, yelling each time.}''
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Aaahh!! ''{He screams and spits repeatedly, yelling each time.}''
''{Mike tries to clear the ice from Homestar's mouth.}''
''{Mike tries to clear the ice from Homestar's mouth.}''
-
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' All right all right all right all right! You're—
+
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' All right all right all right! You're—
''{Homestar starts biting Mike's hand.}''
''{Homestar starts biting Mike's hand.}''
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'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' ''{laughing}'' That's definitely not true. I don't know what "guls" are, anyway.
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' ''{laughing}'' That's definitely not true. I don't know what "guls" are, anyway.
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{with great effort}'' G-Girrrls. There, gu— I said it. It hurts.
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{with great effort}'' G-Girrrls. There, g— I said it. It hurts.
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' Women. Can you say women?
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' Women. Can you say women?
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Women. Dudes!
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Women. Dudes!
-
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' ''{laughing}'' No...
+
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' ''{laughing}'' No.
-
''{Homestar nods repeatedly. Mike picks up another chunk of snow and stands up, chuckling.}''
+
''{Mike picks up another chunk of snow and stands up, chuckling.}''
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{laughing}'' Dude, don't throw another one! I'm outta here!
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{laughing}'' Dude, don't throw another one! I'm outta here!
Line 131: Line 129:
''{Cut to a rooftop.}''
''{Cut to a rooftop.}''
-
'''SHARK-TOOTH BUBS:''' Hey, everybody. My name... Shark-Tooth Bubs. I'm here in Philadelphia, home of the Chicken-Man. It's lookin' pretty nice! Have— have a nice time, everybody. Great job on the Chicken-Man... movie that you all made.
+
'''SHARK-TOOTH BUBS:''' Hey, everybody. My name, Shark-Tooth Bubs. I'm here in Philadelphia, home of the Chicken-Man. It's lookin' pretty nice. Have, have a nice time, everybody. Great job on the Chicken-Man... movie that you all made.
''{Cut. Shark-Tooth Bubs is being held over a five-story stairwell.}''
''{Cut. Shark-Tooth Bubs is being held over a five-story stairwell.}''
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[[Image:SharkToothBubs DVD.JPG|thumb|right|"Let us rest in the wake of hours beneath."]]
[[Image:SharkToothBubs DVD.JPG|thumb|right|"Let us rest in the wake of hours beneath."]]
-
''{Mike drops Shark-Tooth Bubs down the stairwell. The doll glides on the air and lands only two stories below and Mike laughs.}''
+
''{Mike drops Shark-Tooth Bubs down the stairwell. The doll glides on the air and lands only two stories below.}''
''{Cut to Washington Square Park.}''
''{Cut to Washington Square Park.}''
-
'''SHARK-TOOTH BUBS:''' Heh— Heaven help us. Let us rest in the wake of hours beneath, for tomorrow is a brand style, courageously affording the brothers of our l-lester brothers.
+
'''SHARK-TOOTH BUBS:''' H-heaven help us. Let us rest in the wake of hours beneath, for tomorrow is a brand style, courageously affording the brothers of our l-lester brothers.
''{Cut to a small concession stand}''
''{Cut to a small concession stand}''
-
'''SHARK-TOOTH BUBS:''' This a regular stand. Uh, it-it's got uh, food, and a Chicken-Man movie for sale. But my concession strand <!--sic--> is much nicer than... this malarkey here. We got Chicken-Man and Chicken-Movie-Man. But my style's got... eight... burgers. 'At's why my buh- my bubba concession stand called "eight burgers".
+
'''SHARK-TOOTH BUBS:''' This a regular stand. Uh, it-it's got a food, and a Chicken-Man movie for sale. But my concession strand [sic] is much nicer than this malarkey here. We got Chicken-Man and Chicken-Movie-Man. But my style's got eight burgers. 'At's why my buh- my bubba concession stand called "eight burgers".
''{Cut to a ticket machine in a subway station.}''
''{Cut to a ticket machine in a subway station.}''
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'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' ''{holding up a muffin}'' Do you want a poppy-seed muffin?
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' ''{holding up a muffin}'' Do you want a poppy-seed muffin?
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Woo, that looks like blueberry!
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Woo, that looks like blueberry! ''{pronounced "bluebree"}''
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' A miniature one?
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' A miniature one?
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''{Homestar noisily spits the muffin out.}''
''{Homestar noisily spits the muffin out.}''
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Ptah! Poo! Poppy seeds!
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''Ptah!'' Poppy seeds!
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' I was&mdash; I kinda wanted to eat that.
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' I was&mdash; I kinda wanted to eat that.
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' It's on the&mdash; J&mdash; Go for it! Thirty-second rule. How is it, Mike?
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' It's on the&mdash; Just go for it. Thirty-second rule. How is it, Mike?
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' I think it's the ''three''-second rule, not the thirty-second rule.
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' I think it's the ''three''-second rule, not the thirty-second rule.
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'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' That's ''{vaguely pointing}'' that way.
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' That's ''{vaguely pointing}'' that way.
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Are we gonna go to it?
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Are we gonna go to it.
''{Mike shakes his head no.}''
''{Mike shakes his head no.}''
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What?
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What?
-
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' Alamo? A-L-A-M-O.
+
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' Alamo. A-L-A-M-O.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' That's a rental-car place.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' That's a rental-car place.
-
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' Yeah, it's also an old building that people died at and fought... peop&mdash;other people.
+
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' Yeah, it's also an old building that people died at and fought peop&mdash;other people.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' That's the Amalone.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' That's the Amalone.
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'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' ''{laughs}'' Want some doughnut?
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' ''{laughs}'' Want some doughnut?
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' You shoulda learned about Texas before comin' down here. Tejas!
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' You shoulda learned about Texas before comin' down here. ''Tejas''.
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' You know&mdash;
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' You know&mdash;
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' You old Tejas!
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' You old ''Tejas''!
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' What do you know about Austin? There's a college there, you know.
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' What do you know about Austin? There's a college there, you know.
Line 261: Line 259:
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' Mm hmm. Coeds.
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' Mm hmm. Coeds.
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah? Whoo-hoo. What's their major?
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah? Whoo. What's their major?
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' ''{laughs}'' Uh, ''{finishes his doughnut}''
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' ''{laughs}'' Uh, ''{finishes his doughnut}''
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{laughing, and, oddly, sounding like his mouth is full}'' I need to!
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{laughing, and, oddly, sounding like his mouth is full}'' I need to!
-
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' ''{laughing}'' That's not fair! ''{eats the rest of the doughnut}''
+
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' ''{laughing}'' That's not fair ''{eats the rest of the doughnut}''.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{mouth somehow still full}'' It's nice here, Mike.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{mouth somehow still full}'' It's nice here, Mike.
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'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' It's pretty&mdash;it's pleasant here in this, uh, nice little picnic area&mdash;
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' It's pretty&mdash;it's pleasant here in this, uh, nice little picnic area&mdash;
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' It's a pleasant grove!
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' It's a pleasant grove.
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' &mdash;off ol' Highway 71. You wanna go for a run through that field with me?
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' &mdash;off ol' Highway 71. You wanna go for a run through that field with me?
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, you know what I'd like&mdash; what I'd like to do first?
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, you know what I'd like to do first?
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' What's that?
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' What's that?
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{singing dramatically}'' ''Spin my buzzerrrrr''!
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{singing dramatically}'' ''Spin my buzzerrrrr''.
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' All right. I'm gonna spin your buzzer with a blueberry muffin.
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' All right. I'm gonna spin your buzzer with a blueberry muffin.
Line 323: Line 321:
''{Mike spins Homestar's beanie propeller twice. The now-empty bowl is slowly blown off the table by the wind.}''
''{Mike spins Homestar's beanie propeller twice. The now-empty bowl is slowly blown off the table by the wind.}''
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''V-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r...!''
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''B-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r...!''
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' Homestar, our bowl of treats just blew away in the wind.
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' Homestar, our bowl of treats just blew away in the wind.
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I think it&mdash; it was out of treats!
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I think it was out of treats.
''{Mike places a muffin on Homestar's underbite. He gets up to retrieve the bowl.}''
''{Mike places a muffin on Homestar's underbite. He gets up to retrieve the bowl.}''
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Just stack it there. Look at this balancing act!
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Just stack it there. Look at this balancing act.
''{Mike returns and puts the bowl on Homestar's head. It immediately flies away again.}''
''{Mike returns and puts the bowl on Homestar's head. It immediately flies away again.}''
Line 340: Line 338:
''{Mike gets the bowl once more.}''
''{Mike gets the bowl once more.}''
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Look at me. I never believed I was so dexterous. Check it out!
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Look at me. I never believed I was so dexterous. Check it out.
''{Mike tries putting the bowl back on Homestar's head, then decides to just shove it in his mouth.}''
''{Mike tries putting the bowl back on Homestar's head, then decides to just shove it in his mouth.}''
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{singing}'' Ahhhhh...
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{singing}'' Ahhhhh.
''{Mike starts putting muffin bits in Homestar's mouth. Homestar tries unsuccessfully to speak.}''
''{Mike starts putting muffin bits in Homestar's mouth. Homestar tries unsuccessfully to speak.}''
Line 412: Line 410:
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{slightly off}'' &mdash;why did you leave my heart&mdash;
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{slightly off}'' &mdash;why did you leave my heart&mdash;
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' &mdash;and my&mdash; walkman&mdash;<br />
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' &mdash;and my walkman&mdash;<br />
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' ''{slightly off}'' &mdash;and my walkman.
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' ''{slightly off}'' &mdash;and my walkman.
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' ''{speaking}'' That was, that was good.
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' ''{speaking}'' That was, that was good.
-
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{still singing}'' &mdash;in the woods!
+
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{still singing}'' &mdash;in the woods.
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' Ooh.
'''MIKE CHAPMAN:''' Ooh.

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