Senor Cardgage

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This article is about the creepy mortgage broker and used car salesman. For the blue storybook character, see Señor. For the common misuse of the Spanish word "Señor", see Senor.
"Many combolations, Elizagerth! I hope you get all my... particles."

Senor Cardgage first appeared in the Strong Bad Email kind of cool. He is apparently the creepy guy that lived down the street from The Brothers Strong when they were little, whose extreme sketchiness gave Strong Sad nightmares. He resembles Strong Bad somewhat, both sharing a red with black markings lucha libre mask for a head, green eyes, pinkish torso, boxing gloves for hands and black pants. However, he's much taller than Strong Bad. He has a round head, wears glasses, a beard, and has a comb-over lock of brownish hair on the top of his head. Senor Cardgage also has a flabby belly and much longer arms. His feet are simply black, suggesting they are covered by his pants.

Senor Cardgage now runs his own mortgage business as well as a used car dealership, in addition to having a job as an usher. He has also tried to market a lawn mower as an "Intregway" and apparently has his own brand of shoes called "Air Cardgage", which appeared in diorama. His name is pronounced "Seh-nor", not "Seh-nyor", because his name is spelled with an "N" rather than an "Ñ". He is apparently ambidextrous.

Some of his traits include:

Strong Bad seems to look up to Senor Cardgage as sort of an idol or a father figure. He is constantly heard remarking on how cool he believes Senor Cardgage is and how he wishes to be that cool. In Senorial Day, Strong Bad asks Senor to autograph his football and throw it to him. In alternate universe, he says that his life is complete after going on a fishing trip with Senor Cardgage, and expresses joy at the thought of Senor adopting him. When he sees Senor as an usher in the movies, he tells The Cheat that "someday [he's] going to be the one tearing tickets and telling folks that forty-twone will be on their lest."

However, none of the other characters seem to like him. In particular, Strong Sad still harbors fear against Senor Cardgage as evidenced in garage sale. Strong Mad also ran away in terror when Senor Cardgage asked him to retrieve his spectacles. And of course, Homestar seems annoyed with Senor Cardgage for standing too close to him in line while eating melty candy bars, and is put off by his odd catchphrases (as well as thinking he smells like pea soup).

Senor's possible residence

Even though he has a car dealership and his own mortgage company, his residence is unknown. It is suggested in Senorial Day and candy product that he is homeless, as he is shown in an alleyway sleeping in a sleeping bag and using his Aldi bag as a pillow, although in the email kind of cool Strong Bad implied that he lives behind a bush. Strong Sad said that Senor Cardgage lived down the street when they were little, implying he had a house at one point; however, there is no proof of this or of his current residence, if any. Although it is implied that he is poor, he offers to buy Strong Sad a can of peas at Strong Bad's garage sale for $99, and then proceeds to walk away with it, supposedly paying, even though he is never seen to do so. A possible solution to this conflict has been shown in an Easter egg from the email love poems, where it is revealed that Senor Cardgage has written a book called The Homeless Romantic: "verses from the weird shrub and alarming recipes for brunswick stew".

When Strong Bad is asked what he would be like if he was not stylish and buff in the email kind of cool, he describes Senor Cardgage who is, at least to Strong Bad, "so cool, you don't even know [that he is] cool". Strong Bad tries to represent what he would be like if he was an ugly, dumpy guy with a bad comb-over, and it turns out his fictional character actually existed and lived down the street from the Brothers Strong during their youth.

As shown in a commercial in theme song, Senor Cardgage got fourteen degrees in the CGNU Online E-niversity during his lunch "take", including one that lets him "legally prescribe marriages in the state of Kansattica". He also runs a day care called Papa Cardgage's PUDDIN' PATCH.

Senor Cardgage recently lost a Non Sequitur Championship to the equally bizarre character Homsar. As the loser of the contest, he had to complete a coherent sentence on The Show (as documented in the short Non-Sequitur Champion). He failed twice, but his third attempt ("Grape Soda Banked") was judged successful by "celebrity judge" Strong Sad.


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