Skills of an Artist

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"Welcome back to another Skills of an Artist!"

Skills of an Artist is a series of live action step-by-step instructional drawing videos posted regularly on Strong Bad's Twitter account, and later uploaded to YouTube. The series is based on a scene in the Strong Bad Email dragon (and even uses the same music), and is typically released every week or two, usually on Wednesday. All videos feature a real Strong Bad-like boxing glove holding a marker, drawing on a whiteboard that looks like lined paper, explaining throughout. He frequently makes up words to describe shapes, such as "side-take" for the outline at the side of an object, or "squishtangle" for the shape of a slice of bread. Earlier videos were filmed in one shot, while later videos use occasional cuts and fades. Most of the time, the drawing increasingly gets more exaggerated over the course of the video. For example, a sandwich eventually becomes Strong Bad eating a sandwich with a giant pig's head in it, and Strong Sad's severed soolnd becomes a chefs' bathroom.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Stinkoman (End Boss)

Date: Thursday, August 24, 2017 (YouTube release date)

Contents

Transcripts

Sammich

Tweet Text No sbemail yet. But maybe an art lesson will tide you guys over!
YouTube Desc The master of the foreshortened pizzang draws a ham sammy. Mmmm...seasoned fortulami.
Date Wednesday, July 12, 2017
Running Time 1:54

STRONG BAD: Welcome back to another "Skills of an Artist"! {the title appears on screen} Today, I'm gonna teach you guys how to draw... a sammich! {quickly, disinterested} I make drawing fun! {normally} We start out with... a squishtangle. {draws three sides of a rough parallelogram, making sound effects as he does so, omitting the top} First we drew the tangles... {darkens his first line} ...and then we give it the squish. {draws a loop that closes off the top of the shape} Kinda looks like a chef's hat... moving rapidly this way... {gestures right} Preeow! And now, to give it some depth, we add four shortened pizzangs. {draws lines that make up the edges and sides of the bread} Aw, look at that. {adds hatching lines across the sides of the bread} That piece of bread is jumpin' right off the page! And now, we add some dotties {adds several dots to the top of the bread} that are like the air bubbles from the leavening process... y'know what I'm sayin'? Now for the toppings. {starts adding a spiky shape around the bread, resembling lettuce} First we do some lettuce... kinda looks like the bread is being electrocuted... {makes sizzling noises} And now we'll put on the meats. {starts drawing loops around the edges} We got some salami... some pastrami... and some seasoned fortulami... Look at that. Spillin' all out on the sides... And now for the main course, which is a severed pig's head. {draws the outline of a very large pig's head below everything else} Here it comes. Oh, Oinkers! It had to be done... {gives the pig X'd out eyes} ...to make forth my sammich. And uh, you know. I like to reattach the tail... {draws a curly pig tail connected to the back of its head} ...to the head. For dramatic effect. Okay, so, this is not very centered on the page... Put the bottom slice of bread... {draws a quick bread slice underneath the head} And up here, it's gonna be me! {draws a large oval just above the sammich, and starts crudely drawing his face on it} I'unno. Somebody gotta eat this sammich. {makes sound effects as he draws, then draws a disproportionately large open mouth with teeth} Look at that hideous maw! Ready to chew down on some tender jowls. {draws round boxing gloves around the sammich and adds shading to the inside of the mouth} And that's how you draw a ham sammich. {starts writing "THAT'S IT!!" next to his drawing} So... that's it! See you next time for more "Skills of an Artist"!

Posh Toilet Paper

Tweet Text Don't worry, there's a sbemail creepin in the bushes. I swear! But until then... skill out on this!
YouTube Desc Squanch it out! Draw the fanciest toilet papes money can buy.
Date Wednesday, July 26, 2017
Running Time 1:36

STRONG BAD: Welcome back to more "Skills of an Artist"! {the title appears on screen} Today, by popular demand, we're gonna draw... a roll of posh toilet paper! {sings in a exaggeratedly nasal voice} I make drawing fun! {normal voice} Here we go! First of all, we need to make a squanched oval for the top. {draws an oval} Squaaanch it out... and then inside, a similar squanched oval. {draws another oval inside the first} Or it kinda looks like a squished Strong Sad head. {draws Strong Sad eyes in the first oval and fills in the second to look like a mouth; imitating Strong Sad} Ohh, ohhh, I've been squaaanched! {normal voice} Look, we can turn this into... what we need! {turns the Strong Sad eyes into two curvy lines, and draws the same curvy lines on the other side} These are just some of the rimulets... of the different plies of TP. All right. Now a couple of side-takes. {draws the sides of the toilet paper} And then, a bottom close-'em-up. {draws the bottom} Look at that. It's already coming together. Now, so this thing is unfurling. {draws two curvy lines on the right side} Look at that. Curve-'em-ups... curve-'em-ups... and another side-take! {draws the side of the paper} See that? And look, this is a little... scrimmage piece, {draws a dotted line on the paper} so the perforation is right here. I don't know who ripped it off... in between perfs. {draws a zigzag on the edge of the paper so it appears to be ripped in half} But that person can no longer use my toilets. {draws another dotted line on the roll} All right... look at this thing! Now, we've got to make it posh. The only way to do that, you guessed it, is an ascot! {begins to draw an ascot below the roll} Oh man... this thing is totally wearin' an ascot! Look at tha— huh? You know what, nevermind. It's a kitty. {draws whiskers, eyes, and cat ears on the ascot} Let's just make it a kitty. {draws arms holding up the toilet paper} Ohh, this kitty! He's holding up some toilet paper! Do it, kitty! So there you have it. What could be more posh than having a cat give you your toilet paper for each wipe? See you next time! {cut to black}

Cannonmouth

Tweet Text Cannonmouth! The new classic!
YouTube Desc The new classic? You better believe it! It's picture day for Cannonmouth!
Date Wednesday, August 2, 2017
Running Time 1:38

STRONG BAD: Skills of an Artist. {the title appears} Cannonmouth. I make drawing fun. Go! {sings as he begins to draw a cannon} All right, now look, people are gonna think you're drawin' some... ooh-lips, over here. Like, that looks a lot like ooh-lips. {fills in the hole} Gotta tell 'em, "juuust be patient! It's not gonna be ooh-lips!" {draws a string at the back of the cannon} All right, here we got the little fuse... next to a... sparky-lark. {draws a spark at the end of the string} There. Look at that. This cannon is prime to fire. But I didn't say we were drawin' a cannon, I said we're drawing Cannonmouth!

{The music changes}

STRONG BAD: {singing as he begins to draw a head above the cannon} So here we go... it's Cannonmouth... here he comes, Cannonmouth! {draws an eyes, nose, and hair on his head} He seems kind of alarmed and his cannon is a mouth... his mouth is a cannon, I mean! {draws a body below the cannon} Here he comes... he's got a collar shirt... maybe it's picture day for Cannonmouth! He should dress his best! Cannonmouth!

{The music stops}

STRONG BAD: {stops singing; draws a camera in the bottom-left corner} Camera... picture day... {draws an umbrella on the right side} One of those little, uh, umbrellas, y'know what I'm sayin'? It reflects the light? You photographers know what I'm talkin' about.

{Fade to later; the picture has shading and some new details.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, man. This thing could be like, somebody's graduation announcement! {quietly, writing "Class of '88!!"} See... Class... of... '88! {normal voice} Cannonmouth! The new classic!

Strong Sad's Severed Soolnds

Tweet Text Join along with me as we chop off Strong Sad's leg together!
YouTube Desc Go from severed leg to quaint bistro restrooms in no time! It's marinara, mom!
Date Friday, August 18, 2017
Running Time 1:58

STRONG BAD: Weclome back to more Skills of an Artist! {the title appears onscreen} Today is alliteration day! We're gonna draw: Strong Sad's severed soolnds! Let's go! I make drawing, dot-dot-dot! {video cut} Everybody, {draws two rough vertical lines next to each other} side-take your hearts out! {makes sound effects for the second line} And then we do a close-'em-up here... {draws a curved bottom of the shape} Look like a little smile... just a... teeny smile... hrrmm? {video cut} And now, some vaunted humps. {draws two hump shapes connected to the bottom} These are his weird, giant, chitinous toenails. Now, let's sever this mug! Okay. {starts drawing a zig-zagged, curved line, closing the top off} I'd definitely use the serrated knife... so let's make the incision here... oh yeah, that looks so good... {draws a smoother curve within the zig-zagged line; video cut; he starts drawing a cartoon-y bone sticking out of the severed surface} Now, here's his tib... fibula... leg... it's his leg bone. {video cut; he has now closed off the top completely and added curved lines surrounding the bone} And, you couldn't make a cut like that without— {draws a drip down the side of the leg} eurrh, a little mess. Just a little mess. {video cut; he has now added hatch shading to the leg, toenails, and bone} Uh, since this is Strong Sad, it's gonna be casting a pall. {draws a shadow off to the right out of hatch lines} Look at that pall. {darkens it with a squiggly line; video cut} But you can't leave a drawing like this lying around your house! What if Mom comes in? So, now we get clever! {video cut; he adds dots resembling doorknobs to the toenails} Okay, let's see, here's a doorknob... {adds vertical lines down the "doors"} Oh, these are some lovely... wooden doors... {video cut; he has added a rectangle above them} These are... the chefs'... bafrooms... {writes "Chefs Bafrooms" on the rectangle} Because this is a chef's hat! {decorates the bone on the top to look more like a chef's hat} You know what I'm sayin'? Look! {draws an arrow pointing to it and writes:} Chef's hat! Mom will never suspect a thing! And uh, this blood is, uh... {draws another arrow pointing to the blood drip and writes:} marinara! Of course. Because this place is for chefs to use the bathroom! So, naturally there'd be a little... {draws a small café awning to the left side} café over here... {video cut; he adds quick chairs and a table underneath} little bistro... Look at that! {gestures broadly to the board} Mom will never know the difference! {writes five S's underneath the drawing as he speaks} Strong Sad's soft severed soolnds... and you could just tell mom that this "sssss"... that's the sound of the people— the chefs! Peeing! In the restroom! That's great, she'll love it! Okay! See you next time!

Muscleman

Tweet Text Cheese curds? Seagulls? Underjohns? It must be a new Skills of an Artist!
YouTube Desc Bulging bundles and number 2 pencils! Strong Bad shares his best ab drawing tips.
Date Thursday, August 24, 2017
Running Time 1:38

STRONG BAD: On today's Skills of an Artist, we're gonna draw one of my {title appears onscreen} oft-requested specialties: the {pronouncing the "c"} muscleman. Here we go! We start with a little seagull... {draws two wide humps in a basic seagull shape} Caw, caw! And a reflection of that seagull. {draws a mirrored seagull shape underneath} And he's spitting on his reflection... {draws a vertical line from the center point of the first seagull down through the second one} And now an underjohn. {draws an upside-down bump from the second seagull, passing through the vertical line} And a second-tier underjohn. {adds a smaller one underneath} And a third-tier underjohn! {adds a third, even smaller} And now for to fill out these abs... {starts drawing bumpy lines to either side of the "underjohns"} some cheese curds. And some more cheese curds there. {He has now drawn two "cheese curds" on either side, and the drawing now resembles a heavily muscular chest} Aw, that's lookin' pretty good. Now let's do his arms... {starts drawing the sides of large, muscular arms, with small bumps in between the muscles} you got these little... points wherever his joints come together when the muscles just pinch up 'cause they'res under such strain. {draws in the other sides of the arms and adds in small hands} Don't forget to give him super-tiny hands to make the muscles look even bigger by comparison. And now let's add some shiny bulge...uals. {draws small "bulge" curves on each arm muscle} But nothing accents muscles more than bulging veins! {draws veins on the upper right arm} Here's the slanterior canal veinal... {draws veins on the upper left arm} and the ulterior canal veinal. And then the neck hump. {starts drawing a large hump on top of the body} Musclemans don't have necks, they got neck humps! {draws a small, ovular head in the middle of the hump} It's not a hunchback, it's a neck hump. {adds a simple, bland face} Now if there's one thing I know about drawing musclemans, it's that you don't want to draw anything below the belt. {draws a horizontal line at the muscleman's waist level} So let's put him in front of a desk! {adds more straight lines in front of the muscleman, resembling a table or desk} Couple sheets of paper there; maybe he's hosting a talk show... {draws sheets of paper on the desk} Or struggling his way through a two-page exam. "Oh, this new-patient paperwork is so hard to fill out!" And last, let's give him some convulsing bundles. {adds motion lines near the muscleman's arms, then around his neck hump; he accidentally erases part of the stomach} As his skin strains to hold back the tidal wave of musculature. And I accidentally erased that part. I mean— I di— that was on purpose!

End Boss

Tweet Text This week's Skills of an Artist Game Pak comes equipped with End Boss Feature!
YouTube Desc Strong Bad busts out the graph paper to design the best end boss ever!
Date Monday, September 4, 2017
Running Time 2:14

{The whiteboard is designed like graph paper instead of lined paper. The title appears onscreen as Strong Bad talks.}

STRONG BAD: {speaking in a robotic monotone} Skills of a Pixel Artist. I make drawing square. {speaks normally} People all-the-time ask me, {starts to draw pixels on the board} "Hey Strong Bad, how do you draw an end boss?" And I tell 'em, end bosses need two things: spikes and exposed brains. {he has finished his first shape, which is 5*4 and resembles an upward-facing spike} Now this is a— spike...

{The music turns downbeat and comes to a stop as Strong Bad trails off}

STRONG BAD: Urgh. Looks more like a... pixel doggie doody. Um... let's move on to the brain.

{Normal music resumes}

STRONG BAD: Okay. {starts drawing another large pixelated shape above and to the right of the spike} Check out all this brain mass up here. {makes zooming noises as he closes off the shape, which is a 7*4 asymmetrical mass} Don't forget the... pedula... onglomata... {draws some extensions to the right of the shape and starts shading them in} And the... synaptic... part... {draws some pixelated diagonal lines inside the main brain shape} Oh, yeah. That is a serious—

{The music turns downbeat and ends again}

STRONG BAD: Urgh. Who'm I kiddin', this looks like cotton candy. Um... {gestures to his drawing so far} Well, hey. This is just the sprite sheet for {music resumes} "Strong Bad's Dog-Doo and Cotton Candy Challenge"! {a title for said game appears on the screen} Who wants to play?!

{Music fizzles out once more; the title sinks off the screen with a wavy effect}

STRONG BAD: Urh. No— nobody. Alright. Forget the pixel stuff. We're just gonna draw this thing into an awesome end boss. {starts drawing a non-pixelated trapezoid below the brain, omitting the top} First we need tank treads. {draws several circles inside the trapezoid, then puts dots in the center of each} That's right. How else are you gonna roll over... some sort of metallic floor... in a large, black-backgrounded warehouse? {he has now added spikes around the tank treads and closed off the top; he draws lines connecting it to the spike and the brain} Right? Or a fortress, perhaps? And we'll connect it up here... {draws a circle on top of the line connecting the treads to the brain, and gives it a long extension out from its center} Up here we need a turret... it shoots spread-shot! {adds small particles that appear to be shooting out of the turret} Oh man, spread-shot is so hard to avoid. And then... oops! We forgot! The most important part! Eyeballs! {draws a large eyeball in the middle of the tank} Every good boss needs eyeballs all over the place! Here's one coming out of the tank treads... {draws an eyeball to the right of the treads} Uh, let's put one over here on the dog-doo... {he adds one looking up at the turret} Um... and, oops, don't forget one in the brain. {adds an eyeball in the brain} Of course. Eyeball-brain. Oh yeah. Get the real spikes back on here... {adds spikes on the brain, the right-most eye, and the dog-doo} kinda look like a chicken beak, that's okay... on the dog-doo... Oh man. This is the best end boss ever!

{Cut to a stage in Stinkoman 20X6; Stinkoman's sprite faces a fully pixel-rendered version of Strong Bad's end boss: a tank-like machine with a turret, connected to a pile of dog-doo and a cotton candy, embellished with many eyeballs and spikes. It advances on Stinkoman, shooting yellow pellets from its turret.}

STINKOMAN: {his sprite yawns} This is the worst end boss ever! Habila— {jumps and sends a shot into the cotton candy eyeball, which flashes red to show damage} Hey there, dog pudding. {sprite laughs} Are you feeding energy into that carnival clown? Ah— {sends a few shots into the dog-doo, to no effect, then jumps and shoots the cotton candy eyeball again; it flashes white and turns into an actual brain; the boss charges him} Oh no, wah! {his sprite is knocked off the stage} It turns out he was asking for a—

{The screen turns black, with a "GAME OVERED!"}

Cartoon Characters

Tweet Text Hang in there everybody! Escape the chaos for a moment with the Calming Skills of a Soothing Artistfarout.
YouTube Desc Learn to draw Character 1 and Character 2 using the most laid back methods ever devised (far-out).
Date Monday, September 11, 2017
Running Time 2:05

STRONG BAD: {in a relaxed tone} Calm yourself with more Skills of an Artist. Where I make drawing...funnnnnnnnn. Today we're going to draw the cartoon characters, with these simple step-by-step instructions far out. First we draw yours truly. Let's do an upside-down egg. {draws a egg-like shape. The words "UPSIDE-DOWN EGG" appear in the bottom left, with an egg next to them} That egg is not right-side-up, he's upside-down. Don't let all the yolk rush to your head, eh? {gibberish mumbling} Far out. Alright, let's do a little "downtown", {Draws a small line at the "head" of the egg, resembling a neck. The word "DOWNTOWN" appears in the bottom left, with a vertical line next to it} and now, a "roundello". {Draws a circle at the empty end of the line. The word "ROUNDELLO" appears in the upper right, with a circle next to it.} Look at that roundello. Crossbeam, {draws a line in the middle of the circle. The word "CROSSBEAM" appears in the upper right, with a horizontal line next to it} and now, using a little scritch-a-scratch fill-in, we're going to mark it right up far out. {Fills the bottom half of the circle in. The words "SCRITCH-A-SCRATCH FILL-IN" appear in the upper right, with a squiggle next to them} Alright, now we're going to "an L", {Draws an L on the bottom-right part of the circle. The words "AN L" appear in the upper right, with an L next to them} and a preschool L. {Draws an L facing left. The words "A PRESCHOOL L" appear in the upper right, with a left-facing L next to them} Look at that. And now, pokemouts, {Draws a diagonal line on the right of the circle. The word "POKEMOUTS" appears, with a diagonal line next to it} another pokemouts, {Draws a diagonal line on the left of the circle} and now for my...sizable gloves, we do...eights. {Draws an eight on the right diagonal line. The word "EIGHTS" appears in the upper right, with an eight next to it} Simple number eights, look at that, and over here, another {Draws an eight on the left diagonal line. The "EIGHTS" text appears again} number eight. Alright, now we're gonna get very detailed, for the maskurus. Here we are. {Draws a V in the egg, followed by two small circles and a square} Look at this. {The words "VERY DETAILS" appear in the top right, with a V, two circles and a square next to them} Oh, he getting very recognizable as, something. Let's give him a pal, it's the Homestar Runner, with an upside-down J. {Draws a large upside-down J next to the Strong Bad drawing. The words "UPSIDE-DOWN J" appear in the upper left, with an upside-down J next to them} Look at that. And now, an upside-down L. {Draws an upside-down L at that end of the J. The words "UPSIDE-DOWN L (bkwdsfarout)" appear in the upper right, with an upside-down L next to them} It's very alphabetical, far out. Cross 'em up at the bottom, {Draws a line connecting the bottom parts of the J and L. The words "CROSS EM UP" appear in the upper right, with a horizontal line next to them} and another L, and another preschool L. {Draws two Ls, starting from the line. The "AN L" and "A PRESCHOOL L" signs appear as Strong Bad draws them} See? And now, taow-taow-taow-taow-taow. {Draws a star above the line} We call that the 5-point taow. {The words "5-POINT TAOW" appear in the upper left, with a star next to them} Alright, then, drop a little juice on them. {Draws a small dot above the star, the words "JUICE DROP" appear in the upper right, with a dot next to them} I like to pretend I was drinking a smarty juice. {The word "SMARTY" is added to the "JUICE DROP" sign} And dripped it right here on the paper. {Draws another dot to the right of the first one} 'Nother drop of juice, look at that. Now, cross 'em out like this, {Draws a line above the dots. The "CROSS EM UP" sign appears again} and who knows who you got? It's Character 1, and Character 2. Perhaps this character, is sassin' back. {Draws three "talk" lines to the left of the Homestar Runner drawing. The words "SASSIN BACK" appear in the upper right, with three lines next to them} And maybe this character, is givin' a time. {Draws three talk lines to the right of the Strong Bad drawing. The words "GIVIN A TIME" appear in the upper left, with three lines next to them} You never know, until you try. That's Skills of an Artist, with a far out Strong Bad far out.

Eagle

Tweet Text Master the subtleties and bubbleteas of Nature's Wave with a new Skills of an Artist!
YouTube Desc Learn to apply 'nature's wave' in all its glory as Strong Bad draws an eagle's sketchy brother.
Date Thursday, September 21, 2017
Running Time 1:23

STRONG BAD: On this week's Skills of an Artist, {the title appears} we're gonna draw a majestic eagle! I make-a-da-drawing fun! Now, using Nature's Wave— {draws several connected curved lines to make an open beak shape as he speaks} Whoosh. Look at that. Whoosh, nature. Whoosh, nature— we made a beak! Check that out! {starts drawing a large hump to the left of the beak} Now we vaunt a hump right here, and paper-bag the bottom. {closes off the bottom of the hump with jagged lines} Look at that. Papriarius bagged. {starts drawing an eye on the head, with a slanted eyelid to make it look angry} And now a little angry eye... {draws a pupil} Mm. This looks pretty angry. I don't think we're drawing a majestic eagle, {adds equally-angry eyebrows} we're drawing a majestic eagle's cool older brother! {draws lines on the head to represent a backwards baseball cap; starts speaking in a "teenager" voice} Oh man... {adds a hole in the back of the cap} Smelldarton's older brother has stringy, long, greasy hair... {draws many curved hair lines coming out of the back of the cap} and a backward ball cap... I heard that guy feeds... fireworks to his python! Or maybe the other way around! {adds five short lines below the eye, near the beak; speaks normally} That's a mustache. Not, like... his tired, ragged... {starts drawing curved lines starting from the base of the head, resembling a wing and a body} though he does work a double shift at the... auto-detail shop. {adds a few v-shapes near the bottom of the head and the wing} We'll just Nature's Wave our way to some wings... some tiny, semi-consummate v's... {draws a circle held up by the tip of the eagle's wing} Let's see, what's he doing up here, maybe he's like, spinning a basketball... {adds three small circles inside the first} or, maybe like a bowling ball... {adds a "crust" outline just inside the circle} or, maybe like a pizza... {draws the triangular outline of a missing piece, then adds curved motion lines around the "pizza" so it looks like it's spinning} Yeah, like a pizza with a bite taken out of it. That's like impossible to spin, man! You can't get no friction! On that traction! Forked tongue... {draws one inside the beak} and I'm out.

Classic Stand-up Arcade Game

Tweet Text Thanks for participating in the Stuff-Strong-Bad-Might/Could-Do Exploratory Poll! Now back to our regularly scheduled Skills of an Artist!
YouTube Desc Strong Bad draws the control panel for a classic arcade cabinet.
Date Tuesday, October 3, 2017
Running Time 1:48

STRONG BAD: {singing out of key} I got the Skills of an Artist, yes I make drawing fun! {speaking normally} Today we're going to draw a classic stand-up arcade game!

{Strong Bad draws a circle, and then a smaller circle inside it.}

STRONG BAD: First, a Roundello. And second, a smaller Roundello. It's art! Couple of downtowns for the joystick, and now we have to draw the multi-directional socket-thing here. Now with all four directions! Draw these little flexy-things in here so it can move. Then let's do a little bit of shading. Opposite the shiny. Shady, shiny. Shady, shiny. Skills of an Artist! Now, onto the best part, the buttons! Now look, there's gonna be a lot of nay-sayers out there that are gonna tell you you're drawing an old-timey straw barbershop quartet hat. You just gotta shake those people off, man. There's no convincing those people. YOU know this is an arcade button, and THAT'S what's important. And, put a little shiny on top. And a little shiny on top. And now we gotta decide what these buttons do. Let's see... this one controls... the FROOSH! And you know what that means. This one controls the DOOJ! It's FROOSH and DOOJ! The explodey sisters! Oh, man, that sounds like the best arcade game ever! Oh, I gotta see this thing in action.

{The action speeds up as Strong Bad begins drawing a frame around the arcade controls.}

STRONG BAD: Draw the rest of the cabinet here. And a screen. And some quarters for those who got next. And here's the score. Uh, you're not doing very well. Check it out, here's Sister Froosh. And her explosion goes all-out to the side all wispy-like like FROOSH! And then here's Sister Dooj! And she makes this like column of fire it's like DOOJ!

{Strong Bad is heard falling over in his chair. His boxing glove is no longer on screen.}

STRONG BAD: So... somebody please make this game. That I may play of it.

LIVE!!: Cross-sectioned The Cheat

Tweet Text Skills of an Artist LIVE! Now!
YouTube Desc A lo-fi archive of Strong Bad's live drawing of a cross-sectioned The Cheat!
Date Wednesday, October 11, 2017
Running Time 4:23

{Only the beat plays in the background initially}

STRONG BAD: Oh man, everybody! It's Skills of an Artist LIVE! {slides a piece of paper with the title in front of the camera} Look at that! Skills of an Artist! {scrawls "LIVE!!" at the bottom} So live! Featuring musical guest: The Cheat!

{Puppet The Cheat appears in front of the camera, holding the Casio keyboard; he makes excited noises over Strong Bad's next line}

STRONG BAD: There he is, The Cheat, give it up for The Cheat! Alright, The Cheat! Hit it!

{The iconic music from dragon starts in the background}

STRONG BAD: Oh yes. So live. You guys don't know what could happen! Poor quality audio! Even worse video! And maybe I'll accidentally swear a cuss! Oh, this gonna be so good. Okay, today, we're doing a dual scientific and spooky illustration of: a cross-section of-a The Cheat. That's right, let's do it. Okay. So first, The Cheat has a stout... chest-chin. Wouldn't you say? So let's do a big {draws a C curve} C. For chest-chin. And then, we make a reaper's scythe. {draws lines from the top of the C that resemble The Cheat's head} Jabbin' right into that chest-chin, look at that thing. Alright, don't forget. {draws the swirl on The Cheat's "chest-chin"} Cinnamon swirl. Oh— let's correct it. {adjusts the swirl to point more inward} There we go. That's a cinnamon swirl... for the ages. And then over here for his arm... {draws a rough curved line for The Cheat's right arm} we do what I like to call "the rotten banana". {starts adding dots to the arm} Some bruises on that banana... oh, yeah. This thing's ready for banana bread. {finishes and moves his arm away} Look at that. Okay, now. {draws a couple of bumps below the "chest-chin"} Paunch it down, over here, for The Cheat's low-paunch. There we go. {draws a curvy line across the bottom} Briiing it across. And now... for the cross-section, paunch it back up— {draws slightly smaller, mirroring bumps on the right side} —and then— {makes sound effects as he draws lines that close the shape off on the right; it now resembles an eyeless The Cheat that has been sliced down the middle} Aw, look at that. There's quite an incision. And The Cheat... {starts drawing an outline inside the "sliced" side} has a really thick hide. So let's... {sound effect as he finishes off the outline} Look at that. That is a— one thick Cheat pelt. So he can take a lotta kickin's! Okay, so, now, let's fill 'im up with the cross-section. So, here we go. {draws a lumpy shape inside the head area} Cabbage meat, for the brain. And maybe some ribs stickin' out here... {draws a bone structure in the middle area} Oh, those are... some good meat on those ribs. And down— down, you know, here, we got, uh— {scribbles a few vague shapes inside the lower region} questionable... lower... intestums. Oh, yeah. Look at this guy. He's lookin' real cross-sectional. Oh, also, we forgot. {gives The Cheat X'd out eyes} This Cheat... is dead. Contrary to the song... this Cheat is so dead. Alright, so... you can't have a cross-section like this... without the other half! So let's do it! {draws a curve up to the right of the Cheat half} Bennnd it up this way. And then over here we got... {starts drawing spiky shapes from the top of the line, resembling The Cheat's tuft of hair} palm tree. Palm tree. For The Cheat's hair. You know what I'm sayin'. And let's do another... {draws an arm similar to the first below the tuft} rotten banana. You got it. {sound effect as he adds a line between the arm and the tuft} And then paunch it down here for the end of him. {quickly closes off the other half of The Cheat in a similar fashion to the first} Alright, so. While I fill in the rest of his spots here, The Cheat! Go crazy! Let's hear: Teen Girl Squad!

{The background tune changes to the Teen Girl Squad theme as Strong Bad adds spots to The Cheat's side. He's soon done and waits for the tune to finish.}

STRONG BAD: Nice work! Alright, back to the goods! {regular music resumes} Now, what could have made such a precise cut like this? You guessed it: broken Cold Ones bottle. {draws the top of a broken bottle in the space above where The Cheat has been split, making sound effects as he does so; he adds a bottle rim and a shiny spot on the corner} Little shiny on there. Look at that. And here's some— {adds lines for emphasis between the bottle and the left half of The Cheat} — upward majesty, to uh... illustrate the cut... {draws similar lines below the bottle} Aw, look at that. Fwoosh. Fwoosh. {draws motion lines above the bottle} Nature's Wave, right down there, slicin' The Cheat in twain! Oh, man. I hope you guys are following along at home. Everybody. With your boxing gloves on. {pause} Um... I dunno. That's pretty good. How did this work? Is this terrible? Do you want more? Should I respond or even look at any of your comments? Well, we'll find out later, won't we? Thank you everyone for tuning in to the Skills of an Artist LIVE! Oh, don't forget to always sign-a your work. {scrawls his name in the bottom left corner of the drawing, along with a fanged frowning face} There we go. Thanks a lot, everybody! Take it easy! How do I get outta this thing?! It won't let me do it! I don't know how to turn it off! I'on't know what to do! Oh man! Oh!

{Puppet Homestar appears in an extreme close-up}

PUPPET HOMESTAR: I don't know what to do! What're you guys doing here? Hey, get out of my room! What are you guys doing in here? You gotta get out of here! Get out of here right now— {the video is finally cut off}

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