Strong-Play: Marzipan Beef Reverser

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[[File:StrongPlayBeefReverser.png|thumb|Unsettlingly smooth framerate and questionable lip sync]]
[[File:StrongPlayBeefReverser.png|thumb|Unsettlingly smooth framerate and questionable lip sync]]

Revision as of 12:15, 27 April 2022

Unsettlingly smooth framerate and questionable lip sync

Strong Bad plays Marzipan Beef Reverser.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Cow Skeleton, Marzipan, Homestar Runner

Date: Monday, April 25, 2022

Running Time: 11:13



{Start on a shot of a Game Boy-like device with a wood cover and the Videlectrix logo on the top resting on a tripod above a desk. Strong Bad's Boxing Gloves come in frame and grab the buttons in the way they are held for the rest of the video}

STRONG BAD: {in a menacing voice} Welcome to my Long-play of Marzipan Beef Reverser... {hesitates, voice becomes normal} Well, actually, it probably won't be very long, 'cause the game only takes like eight minutes to win. So then we'll call it a STRONG PLAY! {logo of a PBTC Strong Bad playing a Game Controller in a purple circle with blue text reading "STRONG-PLAY" above it} This is my Strong Play of Marzipan Beef Reverser! {logo fades slightly and goes into the corner} There you go.

Now let's just get a little insert of my head down there in the corner {the Strong Bad VTuber model comes in frame and starts waggling its head and syncing its mouth to the speaking} with an unsettlingly smooth frame rate and questionable lip-sync. There we go, now we're streaming.

Alright, so for all you speedrunner types out there, I'm going {Green screen with restored Giant Cow falls over the live action footage, leaving the VTuber model and Strong-Play logo, White text reading "100% FaceMelt" with "facemelt" melting is already visible} 100% Facemelt unlocking {Bullet points with what he says appear as he says them} both bonus levels and with the bonus boss, all without dying and of course, all with boxing gloves on {green screen falls and the Game Boy-like device is visible again}

Right, I'm playing here on my trusty Videlectrix Pantsit Portable {ad for Videlectrix pantsit portable appears}

And Let's go for it! {he starts playing the game, a timer appears in the upper left corner and starts at 00:00:00, continuing counting every millisecond since it appeared on screen. In the game he starts in the new platformer part added in the 2.0 edition, he hits a beef and it moves away} Alright Marzipan, Whip that beef! {he whips the beef and collects a "chiclet", a chime in the game sounds} There we go, got a nice chiclet. {he jumps onto a platform} Gotta keep your energy chiclets full in order to acheive what we're trying to do here. {he hits a flying steak} Oh, flying steaks with bug wings, {he hits another steak} Oof, got 'em.

{screen enlarges and he starts to fight the first boss} Alright here we go, boss phase number one! Now, ordinarily, {he gets hit by a steak} Oh! I would not condone a Marzipan-themed game. But uh, that hideous cow carcass there with the chin tentacles is pretty fantastic. Everyone knows the chin tentacles is the moistest cut of beef. {he hits a steak into the cow, making a slashy-hatched slight taste of udder appear} Yeah! Slap that back! {he hits another steak into the cow} Huttah! {he hits the last steak into the cow, making the game have a success chime and the game flashes green} Yes!

Alright, that first one's kind of like, easy to get you aclimated {a text box appears} Oh what does this say? Your energy goes up to eight. Try to win with full health! That's what I'm doing man! {he hits a flying steak} Whoopah! Here we go! I love this steak stuff that explodes when you whip 'em. We are all steak stuff as the great Carl Sagan once said. {he is quiet for a little as he hits one last steak and moves into the next boss battle} Got 'em!

Alright, round two, here we go! {he sings along to the music in dits and doots and a badaladol, but gets distracted and Marzipan is hit!} Aw dang! Gotta watch your forehead there, Marzi. Alright, I gotta make up a chiclet here. {a milkwave appears and moves towards Marzipan} Oh! I reconstituted the udders and now they're shooting milk waves at me! Woah! {he hits a steak and jumps up to collect a chiclet} There we go, there's a chiclet. {He grooves his waggly head along to the music} Dit dit doot doot badadaladaladalat dat dat dat dat. Come on, {He gets hit by a steak} Oh! Crap! Oh, my timing is off! I think only the music is faster, I don't think anything else is moving faster. They're trying to dupe me, but I'm dupeless. Come on, just one more. {he hits a steak into the cow, reconstituting the back of the cow, the screen shrinks and he goes back into another platformer level} Yes!

Alright, here we go. {he is on a platform in the air and jumps down to collect a chiclet} Let's see, do I need that? {the chiclet fills the health} I do, alright. There we go, oh crap! {The V-Tuber model starts to wildly flail his head as a milkwave comes out of Hammerspace} Unsolicited milk wave! It's like the — {A milkwave hits him before it even launches itself and he screams} Oh Crap! Crap! It's like Bowser's Fire of milks. I gotta fake it out. {he hides under a spike-bottom platform} So it can't get me. {he jumps over a milkwave} Ah! There we go. {he enters the third boss level}

Alright, gotta make up some milk {a milkwave launches itself at Marzi} Oh crap! Now this is faster! {he gets hit by a steak} Aah! AAH! Oh man, alright, really gotta make up some chiclets here. {he hits a steak into the cow} oh dang, This is a significant upgrade in speed of attacks. {he jumps over milkwaves and slashes meat as his v-tuber's head jerks wildly from side to side.} Come on, {he gets a chiclet} there we go. Oh man, this is actually a little bit challenging. I don't want to... tip my hand too much,

{he is doing really good and playing fast as his boxing gloves can handle} but I'm a little flustered, you know. A healthy amount of flustered. Get the adrenaline {pronounces it "adrenalinens"} goin', so I can whip these steaks. {he whips a steak and gets a chiclet} There we go, was that? I don't know, I can't, I'm too worried, I can't take the time to count my chiclets! {he hits the last steak into the cow and moves on to another platformer level}

{his head flails really wildly this time from one side of his head to another and up and down a lot} Oh man, I think those spikes are one-hit wonders, you can't touch those things or you're instantly doomed. {pronounces it "doo-MED} Oh! {jumps over a milk wave} DOWAAH! There we go, fooled you, milk! Let's wait for it, {jumps over the milk wave onto a platform side without spikes} there we go, oh wait up here... '{a milk wave comes towards him and he jumps down to a lower platform} A-ha! {pauses for a while, notices he only has seven chiclets} Crap. Really could use that chiclet. {he moves into the last boss battle}

Alright, need a chiclet here. {sings along with the music} Oof! {jumps over milkwaves} Alright, dodging the milks. {hits a steak and gets a chiclet} There we go! A chiclet! Sweet! Chiclets! I think I got eight, I have no idea! I can't take the time, to count! I'm too freaked out! {he sees a steak fly through the middle} I'm gonna avoid those guys, those middle — {he gets hit} OH NO! Oh, I gotta make this up! Come on, chiclet. I thought I was playing it safe! I got too cocky! {gets hit by a steak} CRAP!!! Alright, come on, come on, give me the chiclets. I need two more chiclets in order to achieve our goals here. {he starts singing along again and then gets another chiclet} there's one, come on, there's another one! Yes! YES! {the cow is fully restored} WE DID IT JUST IN TIME! LOOK AT THAT! A fully reconstituted cow! {a textbox appears} Thank you Marzi! You reversed the beef! I also noticed that you have full health! Have a bonus stage as a reward! {he bobs his head around}

Yes! We did it! {another text box appears as the stage is a car} Go green! Smash up that auto, Marzi! Alright! {he starts hitting the car} Whuppa! {he starts repeating the word HAH a lot} 100 Hairded slap! {he jumps onto the other side of the car and hits it} Alright, now here comes the secret, everybody. This is how you unlock the secret hidden boss and bonus level. {Homestar falls from the sky onto the destroyed car} You gotta hit Homestar on his way down!

{a text box appears and Homestar comes up from the bottom of the screen to read it}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, you wanna fight, huh? Let's grooooow!

{the boss is now a giant skeleton of Homestar, who intermittently flings the top half of his skull at Marzipan and throws steaks with stars on them}

STRONG BAD: WOW! LOOK AT THAT! IT'S A SKELETAL HOMESTAR RUNNER! AND HE'S THROWING STAR STEAKS AT ME! Oh, he launches the entire top half of his skull to try and hit me! {he flings the skull top at Marzipan again} Oh, a bunch! Alright, gotta try and defeat this guy, {he hits a steak, making a chiclet come out, but doesn't collect it} without losing any health. {another steak is flung, but this time it hits him, even when he could've hit it due to the chiclet being in the way} Oh Crap! Oh, the chiclets block you! From hitting things, you gotta remember that, so collect the chiclet as soon as the chiclet shows up. {Homestar keeps flinging his skull and Marzipan barely dodges} Oh dang. {Strong Bad starts to sing along to the music, which is similar to the original Homestar theme song, he makes his own lyrics:} Homestar is totally dead, he's a skeleton! Homestar is totally dead, this is the best he's ever looked. {stops singing} Right. How many more hits? Those ones are too fast {Homestar launches his skull head at Marzipan again and Strong Bad screams} AAUGH! The lunge! The head-lunge! {he dodges it again} OH! Watch out, there we go! {he flings a star steak onto Homestar, restoring him} We did it! Look at that! We reconstituted Homestar!

{a text box appears and Homestar comes up again from the bottom to read it}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You did it Marzi! You rebeefed me! And didn't lose no health neither! You get a never ending rain of Homestars!

{screen flashes and now Homestar sits gulping in the corner of the screen as Homestars fall from three different spots in the sky, Strong Bad collects them pretty much most the time, unless noted}

STRONG BAD: Alright, alright, this is the part we might need, uh, to fast-forward a little bit. {gameplay footage shrinks into the Pantsit} So we just gotta sit here and collect Homestar Runners as they fall from the sky. This is the second unlockable bonus stage.

{a text box appears and Homestar reads it}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Whoa! 10 of thems! You gotted great!

STRONG BAD: Alright, so I think technically you could just stand in one spot 'cause it looks like they spawn from just, like, three different places, but if you're trying to speed run you got to ru— {he misses one} Ah, crap. I think I missed that one. You gotta run all about to try and do it as quickly as possible. But you could also just like, leave your Game Boy sitting on the table and leave Marzipan standing in one spot. {a text box appears} 25! you must have a persistent style! I do! {he starts to get bored} Alright, anybody got any good topics to discuss here? For those of you doubting the authenticity of me playing a handheld gaming device with boxing gloves on just check out that reflection of Pom-Pom's phone in the screen! {if you look, you can see a phone in another tripod filming the Game Boy} Little shout out to p-squared for filming this for me, {tearfully and emphatically} We're making history, dawg! {he gets bored again} Can I hit Homestar? {he makes Marzipan hit Homestar, but to no avail} Nope, I can't. Oohf. He's just sitting there, gulping like a fish.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I ain't no gulp-fish! You take that back!

{a text box appears and Strong Bad reads it}

STRONG BAD: "50! What is wrong with you?" Oh-ho! You know I gotta keep it up now. I think we gotta get to 100, people. So... topics. This game should've totally had one of those retro TV commercials, you know, like with a bunch of dudes in black turtlenecks standing in a meat locker singing like, {rapping} Who's that whippin' that whippin' that beef, it's Marzipan and she's whippin' that beef. It's a brand new game and it's really great, maybe you could play it on your summer break, while your parents are driving through the Grand Canyon, you're in the back seat without a companion. {stops singing} That'd be a great commercial, right? {the game lags slightly as Marzipan jumps} doesn't like it when Marzi jumps up, too much... processing, at the same time! {gets bored} Um, what about... forgotten lore? You guys like to talk about forgotten lore? Sounds like a good subject. Um... You know like... People, remember when sometimes the gas tank used to be filled, like, you pull down the license plate on a car and that was where the, like, gas cap was? That's some forgotten lore. Some automotive... uh, gas-related lore. I have no idea what count— {a text box appears again} OH! THERE WE ARE! I successfully distracted you all with forgotten lore! 100?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ugh, fine, you can watch this deleted cutscene of my face melting that was deemed "too hot for GB". But beware, it's PG-13 prolly.

STRONG BAD: Oh man! This is gonna be so good! So worth the wait! {screen zooms in and Homestar's face starts shaking, and his skin peels off in increments} Look at that! It's pathetic Homestar! AAAH! His face is just peeling right off of of the top of his scalp! OH MAN! LOOK AT THAT GUY! {the screen goes back into the Game Boy screen} WE DID IT!

{Game Boy screen changes to a title with the text "Marzipan BEEF REVERSED", timer in the upper left corner now reads 09:58:21} BEEF REVERSED!

Oh man, that was excellent, you guys! There's my Strong-Play of Marzipan Beef Reverser. I encourage you all to do this yourselves. It's pretty thrilling actually. See if you can find a Videlectrix Pantsit Portable {the ad appears again} in an online auction or somethin'. They're- they're pretty rare. I always have to get out the Endust to polish mine. Keep it shiny. {screen fades to black}

Fun Facts

Inside References

Real-World References

  • Strong Bad's animated model in the lower corner is a parody of VTubers.
  • Strong Bad attributes his “steak stuff” quote to astronomer Carl Sagan.
  • Strong Bad repeatedly compares the health bars to Chiclets.
  • During the Street Fighter-inspired bonus stage, Strong Bad compares Marzipan’s hair attack to E. Honda’s Hundred Hand Slap technique.

See Also

External Links

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