Strong-Play: Marzipan Beef Reverser

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Revision as of 19:57, 15 August 2022

Unsettlingly smooth framerate and questionable lip sync

Strong Bad plays Marzipan Beef Reverser.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Cow Skeleton, Marzipan, Homestar Runner, Pom Pom (mentioned)

Date: Monday, April 25, 2022

Running Time: 11:13

Page Title: Butcher's Special - Chin Tentacles 2.99 a pound!

Transcript

{The video opens with a shot of a handheld console resembling a Game Boy with a wood veneer and a Videlectrix logo on the top resting on a tripod above a desk. The title screen for the game "Marzipan Beef Reverser" is displayed on the screen. Strong Bad's boxing gloves enter the frame to hold the console with his thumbs over the buttons.}

STRONG BAD: {in a menacing voice} Welcome to my Long-play of Marzipan Beef Reverser... {hesitates, voice becomes normal} Well, actually, it probably won't be very long, 'cause the whole game only takes like, eight minutes to win. So we'll call it a STRONG PLAY!

{An image of a Powered-By-The-Cheat Strong Bad holding a game controller in a purple circle with blue text reading "STRONG-PLAY" above it appears.}

STRONG BAD: This is my Strong-Play of Marzipan Beef Reverser!

{The image fades, moving unobtrusively into the corner.}

STRONG BAD: There you go. Now let's just get a little insert of my head down there in the corner—

{A Strong Bad model pops up in the lower-left corner, waggling its head as Strong Bad speaks.}

STRONG BAD: —with an unsettlingly smooth frame rate and questionable lip-sync. There we go, now we're streaming. All right, so for all you speedrunner types out there, I'm going—

{A green screen with a restored Giant Cow descends over the live action footage, leaving the model and Strong-Play logo on top. White text reading "100% FaceMelt" with "facemelt" melting is already visible on the top.}

STRONG BAD: —100% Facemelt unlocking {a bullet point reading "Unlock Bonus Levels" appears} both bonus levels and {a bullet point reading "Unlock Bonus Boss" appears} the bonus boss, {a bullet point appears reading "Without Dying"} all without dying and of course, {a bullet point appears reading "With Boxing Gloves".} all with boxing gloves on.

{The green screen pulls up, revealing the Videlectrix handheld again.}

STRONG BAD: All right, I'm playing here on my {an ad for Videlectrix pantsit portable appears} trusty Videlectrix Pantsit Portable.

{The ad disappears.}

STRONG BAD: And let's go for it!

{The game starts. A timer appears in the upper left corner and starts at 00:00:00, running continuously. Marzipan begins in a platforming level with a steak.}

STRONG BAD: All right Marzipan, whip that beef!

{Marzipan whips the steak with her ponytail. The steak becomes a health pellet, which she collects.}

STRONG BAD: There we go, got a nice chiclet.

{Marzipan jumps onto a platform. A flying steak lies ahead.}

STRONG BAD: Gotta keep your energy chiclets full in order to acheive what we're trying to do here.

{Marzipan hits the flying steak and proceeds onward.}

STRONG BAD: Ooh, flying steaks... {Marzipan hits another steak. She leaps to collect a health pellet} with bug wings. {She hits another steak and follows an arrow sign offscreen} Oof, got 'em.

{An enlarged version of the screen is displayed as Marzipan faces the first boss; a cow skull and ribcage.}

STRONG BAD: All right here we go, boss phase number one! {The cow skeleton shoots steaks at Marzipan. Strong Bad plays as he talks} Now, ordinarily, {Marzipan gets hit by a steak} Ochh! I would not condone a Marzipan-themed game. But uh, that hideous cow carcass there with the chin tentacles is pretty fantastic. Everyone knows the chin tentacles is the moistest cut of beef.

{Marzipan rebounds a steak into the cow, causing the cow's udder to regenerate a little bit each time she does.}

STRONG BAD: Yeah! Slap that back! {hits another steak into the cow} Huttah!

{Marzipan hits the last steak into the cow, clearing the boss level.}

STRONG BAD: Yes!

{The next platforming level loads.}

STRONG BAD: All right, that first one's kind of like, easy to get you acclimated.

{A text box appears.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, what does this say? {reading text} Your energy goes up to 8. Try 2 win with full health!

{The text box withdraws.}

STRONG BAD: That's what I'm doing, man! {hits a flying steak} Whoopah! Here we go! I love this steak stuff that explodes when you whip 'em. We are all steak stuff, as the great Carl Sagan once said.

{Strong Bad pauses as he hits one last steak and enters the next boss battle.}

STRONG BAD: Got 'em! All right, round two, here we go!

{The screen enlarges again to better display the boss battle. Marzipan is now facing a cow with a regenerated udder and front chest, but the skull and ribs are still exposed.}

STRONG BAD: {singing along to the music} Dit dit, doot doot, badalado— {Marzipan gets hit} Aw dang! Gotta watch your forehead there, Marzi. All right, I gotta make up a chiclet here.

{A milk wave appears and moves towards Marzipan. Marzipan leaps over them to avoid them.}

STRONG BAD: Oh! I reconstituted the udders and now they're shooting milk waves at me! Whoa!

{Marzipan leaps and hits a steak. She jumps up to collect a health pellet.}

STRONG BAD: There we go, there's a chiclet.

{Strong Bad moves his head along to the music and sings as he plays.}

STRONG BAD: Dit dit doot doot badadaladaladalat dat dat dat dat. Come on, {Marzipan gets hit by a steak} Oh! Crap! Oh, my timing is off! I think only the music is faster, I don't think anything else is moving faster. They're trying to dupe me, but I'm dupeless. Come on, just one more.

{Marzipan hits a steak into the cow, reconstituting the back of the cow and clearing the boss level. The screen shrinks back into the handheld. The next platformer level begins.}

STRONG BAD: Yes! All right, here we go.

{Marzipan is on a platform in the air. She backtracks and jumps down to collect a health pellet.}

STRONG BAD: Let's see, do I need that? {The health bar fills up} I do, all right. There we go, oh crap!

{The V-Tuber model wildly flails his head as a milk wave appears from the right side of the screen.}

STRONG BAD: Unsolicited milk wave! It's like the —

{A milk wave hits Marzipan before it it launched.}

STRONG BAD: {screams} Oh Crap! Crap! It's like Bowser's Fire of milks. I gotta fake it out.

{Marzipan hides under a spike-bottom platform.}

STRONG BAD: So it can't get me. {jumps over a milkwave} Ah! There we go.

{The third boss level begins. The body of the cow is restored, but the skull remains.}

STRONG BAD: All right, gotta make up some milk.

{A milkwave launches itself at Marzipan.}

STRONG BAD: Oh crap! Now this is faster! {gets hit by a steak} Aah! AAH! Oh man, all right, really gotta make up some chiclets here. {hits a steak into the cow} Oh dang, This is a significant upgrade in speed of attacks. {Strong Bad's head jerks wildly from side to side as the gameplay becomes faster} Oh dang, come on, {collects a health pellet} there we go. {grunting heavily} Oh man, all right, this is actually a little bit challenging. I don't want to... tip my hand too much, but I'm a little flustered, you know. A healthy amount of flustered. Get the adrena-linens goin', so I can whip these steaks.

{Marzipan whips a steak and collects another health pellet.}

STRONG BAD: Oh no, what was that? I don't know, I can't, I'm too worried, I can't take the time to count my chiclets!

{The third boss level is cleared. The next platforming level loads.}

STRONG BAD: {rolling his head around} Oh man, I think those spikes are one-hit wonders, you can't touch those things, or you're instantly doomèd. Oh!

{Mazripan jumps over a milk wave before she goes under the spikes.}

STRONG BAD: DOWAAH! There we go, fooled you, milk!

{Marzipan stops between two spike platforms as a milk wave generates.}

STRONG BAD: Let's wait for it.

{Marzipan jumps over the milk wave onto a platform without spikes.}

STRONG BAD: There we go. Oh wait up here...

{Marzipan waits. A milk wave comes towards her. She drops down to a lower platform.}

STRONG BAD: A-ha!

{Strong Bad pauses as he continues playing. He has seven out of eight pellets in his health bar.}

STRONG BAD: Crap. Really could use that chiclet.

{Marizpan moves into the last boss battle. The screen enlarges again. Only half of the cow's skull is exposed.}

STRONG BAD: All right, need a chiclet here. {sings along with the music}Dit dit doh doh badadaladaladalat dat dat. Oof!

{Marizpan jumps over rapidly firing milk waves.}

STRONG BAD: All right, dodging the milks. {hits a steak and collects a health pellet, filling the health bar} There we go! A chiclet! Sweet chiclets! I think I got eight, I have no idea! I can't take the time... to count! I'm too freaked out!

{Strong Bad continues playing furiously.}

STRONG BAD: I'm gonna avoid those guys, those middle— {gets hit} OH NO! Aw, I gotta make this up! {dodging milk waves} Come on, chiclet. I thought I was playing it safe! I got too cocky! {gets hit by a steak} CRAP!!! All right, come on, come on, give me the chiclets. I need two more chiclets in order to achieve... our goals here.

{Strong Bad continues playing furiously.}

STRONG BAD: {singing to the music} Delelelo dat dat. {gets a chicklet} There's one, come on, there's another one! Yes! YES!

{The boss level is cleared. The cow is now fully restored.}

STRONG BAD: WE DID IT JUST IN TIME! LOOK AT THAT! A fully reconstituted cow!

{Marzipan jumps up to meet the cow. A textbox appears.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} Thank you Marzi! You reversed the beef! {presses forward} I also noticed that you have full health! {presses forward} Have a bonus stage as a reward!

{The text box withdraws.}

STRONG BAD: {excitedly bobbing his head} Yes! We did it!

{A bonus stage loads with Marzipan and a car. A text box appears.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} Go green! Smash up that auto, Marzi!

{The text box withdraws.}

STRONG BAD: All right!

{Marizpan begins wrecking the car with her ponytail.}

STRONG BAD: Whuppa! {Strong Bad makes lots of martial arts-style shouts as Marzipan wrecks the car} 100 Haired-ed slap!

{Marzipan jumps onto the other side of the car and begins wrecking it.}

STRONG BAD: All right, now here comes the secret, everybody. This is how you unlock the secret hidden boss and bonus level.

{When Marzipan is finished wrecking the car, Homestar falls from the sky onto the destroyed car.}

STRONG BAD: You gotta hit Homestar on his way down!

{A text box appears. Homestar Runner himself comes up from the bottom right side of the screen to read it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, you wanna fight, huh? Let's grooooow!

{Homestar Runner withdraws.}

{The screen enlarges as the next boss stage loads. The boss is now a giant Homestar Runner skeleton, who intermittently flings the top half of his skull at Marzipan and throws steaks with stars on them.}

STRONG BAD: WOW! LOOK AT THAT! IT'S A SKELETAL HOMESTAR RUNNER! AND HE'S THROWING STAR STEAKS AT ME! Oh, he launches the entire top half of his skull to try and hit me! {Homestar flings the skull top at Marzipan again} Oh, a bunch! All right, gotta try and defeat this guy, {Marzipan hits a steak, making a health pellet appear, but doesn't collect it} without losing any health.

{Another steak is flung, but this time it hits Marizpan due to the chiclet being in the way.}

STRONG BAD: Oh Crap! Oh, the chiclets block you! From hitting things, you gotta remember that, so collect the chiclet as soon as the chiclet shows up.

{Homestar keeps flinging his skull. Marzipan barely dodges it.}

STRONG BAD: Oh dang. {Strong Bad starts to sing along to the music} Homestar is totally dead, he's a skeleton! Homestar is totally dead, this is the best he's ever looked. {stops singing} Right. How many more hits? Those ones are too fast... augh!

{Homestar launches his skull head at Marzipan again.}

STRONG BAD: AAUGH! The lunge! The head-lunge! {dodges it again} OH! Watch out, there we go!

{Marizpan flings a star steak onto Homestar, clearing the level. Homestar is now restored.}

STRONG BAD: We did it! Look at that! We reconstituted Homestar!

{Marizpan jumps up to meet Hometar. A text box appears. Homestar Runner pops up again from the bottom right to read it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You did it Marzi! You rebeefed me! {presses forward} And didn't lose no health neither! {presses forward} You get a never ending rain of Homestars!

{Homestar Runner withdraws.}

{The next stage begins. Homestar sits gulping in the corner of the screen as Homestar sprites fall from three different spots in the sky. Marzipan moves back and forth to collec them.}

STRONG BAD: All right, now, this is the part we might need to uh, to fast-forward a little bit.

{The gameplay screen shrinks back into the Pantsit.}

STRONG BAD: So we just gotta sit here and collect Homestar Runners as they fall from the sky. This is the second unlockable bonus stage.

{A text box appears. Homestar Runner pops up again to read it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Whoa! 10 of thems! You gotted great!

{Homestar Runner and the text box withdraw. The Homestar rain resumes.}

STRONG BAD: All right, so I think technically you could just stand in one spot 'cause it looks like they spawn from just, like, three different places. But if you're trying to speed run you got to r—oh, crap. I think I missed that one. You gotta run all about to try and do it as quickly as possible. But you could also just like, leave your Game Boy sitting on the table and leave Marzipan standing in one spot.

{Another text box appears.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} 25! you must have a persistent style! {text box withdraws} I do? {Strong Bad starts to get bored} All right, anybody got any good topics to discuss here? For those of you doubting the authenticity of me playing a handheld gaming device with boxing gloves on, just check out that reflection of Pom Pom's phone in the screen!

{If you look closely, you can see a phone in another tripod in the screen's reflection.}

STRONG BAD: A little shout out to P squared for filming this for me. {tearfully and emphatically} We're making history, dawg! {Strong Bad gets bored again} Can I hit Homestar? {Marzipan hits Homestar, but to no avail} Nope, I can't. Oohf. He's just sitting there, gulping like a fish.

{Homestar Runner pops up again.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I ain't no gulpfish! You take that back!

{Homestar Runner withdraws.}

{A text box appears.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} 50! What is wrong with you?

{The text box withdraws.}

STRONG BAD: Oh-ho! You know I gotta keep it up now. I think we gotta get to 100, people. So... topics. This game should totally have one of those retro TV commercials, you know, like with a bunch of dudes in black turtlenecks standing in a meat locker, singing like, {rapping} Who's that whippin' that— whippin' that beef, it's Marzipan and she's whippin' that beef. It's a brand new game, and it's really great, maybe you could play it on your summer break. While your parents are driving through the Grand Can-yon, you're in the back seat without a compan-nion. {stops singing} That'd be a great commercial, right?

{The game lags slightly as Marzipan jumps.}

STRONG BAD: Doesn't like it when Marzi jumps up. Too much... processing, at the same time! {gets bored} Um, what about... forgotten lore? You guys like to talk about forgotten lore? Sounds like a good subject. Um... You know like... People, remember when sometimes the gas tank used to be filled, like, you pull down the license plate on a car and that was where the, like, gas cap was? That's some forgotten lore. Some automotive... uh, gas-related lore. {shaking his head} I have no idea what count—

{A text box appears again.}

STRONG BAD: OH! THERE WE ARE! I successfully distracted you all with forgotten lore! 100?

{Homestar pops up again to read the text box.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ugh, fine, you can watch this deleted cutscene {presses forward} of my face melting that was deemed "too hot for GB". {presses forward} But beware, it's PG-13 prolly.

{Homestar withdraws.}

STRONG BAD: Oh man! This is gonna be so good! So worth the wait!

{The screen enlarges. Homestar's face starts shaking, and his skin peels off in increments until nothing remains but a skeletal Homestar.}

STRONG BAD: Look at that! It's pathetic Homestar! AAAH! His face is just peeling right off of the top of his scalp! OH MAN! LOOK AT THAT GUY!

{The screen goes back into the handheld's screen.}

STRONG BAD: WE DID IT!

{A title screen appears with the text "Marzipan BEEF REVERSED press any budden" The timer in the upper left corner now reads 09:58:21.}

STRONG BAD: BEEF REVERSED! Oh man, that was excellent, you guys! So there's my Strong-Play of Marzipan Beef Reverser. I encourage you all to do this yourselves. It's pretty thrilling, actually. See if you can find a Videlectrix Pantsit Portable—

{The ad appears again.}

STRONG BAD: —in an online auction or somethin'. They're- they're pretty rare. I always have to get out the Endust to polish mine. Keep it shiny.

{Fade to black.}

Fun Facts

Inside References

• Strong Bad remarks about his boxing gloves.
• Strong Bad utters "huttah!" while playing the game at one point.
• The FunMachine Pantsit was first mentioned in the description for Trogday Micro Game.

Real-World References

• Strong Bad's animated model in the lower corner is a parody of VTubers.
• Strong Bad attributes his "steak stuff" quote to astronomer Carl Sagan.
• Strong Bad repeatedly compares the health bars to Chiclets.
• During the Street Fighter-inspired bonus stage, Strong Bad compares Marzipan's hair attack to E. Honda's Hundred Hand Slap technique.
• Endust is a brand of dusting aid, sprayed on cleaning implements to attract dust. It was previously mentioned in army.

See Also

• Joystick Wagglin' with Videlectrix: Halloween Edition
• Strong Bad's Disk 4 of 12

External Links

• watch "Strong-Play: Marzipan Beef Reverser"
• watch "Strong-Play: Marzipan Beef Reverser" on YouTube