Strong Sad's Lament

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You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake.

Strong Sad's Lament is Strong Sad's personal weblog. It originated in the email "website," when you could access it by clicking on the "F10" image at the bottom of Strong Bad's Website. In his lament he expresses his frustrations with life, complains about Strong Bad's constant practical jokes, and describes his bizarre relationship with Homsar. It was on hiatus for 17 months until August 5, 2004, when Strong Sad remembered his password and began posting regularly. The blog appears to be on hiatus once again. The last posting was made on September 9, 2004.

Contents

Taglines

  • Aug. 26: "You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake."
  • Aug. 19: "THEY'RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOU!"
    • This is also the title of an Adam Sandler CD (WARNING: EXPLICIT LYRICS).
    • Also a quote from the movie Carrie, which the Sandler clip was based on.
  • Aug. 12: "When you grow up, your heart dies."
  • Aug. 7: "Everybody dies frustrated and sad, and that is beautiful"
  • Prior to Aug. 7: "Dancin-a with myseh-helf wah wah wah-o."
  • Dec. 11?: "Oh Oh, Lonesome Me."

Avatars

Image Date Description
Image:douglas.jpg 09/09/2004 English author Douglas Adams
Image:strongsadblog_neil.jpg 08/26/2004 Neil from The Young Ones
Radar avatar 08/19/2004 Corporal Walter (Radar) O'Reilly from the hit TV series M*A*S*H
Lydia avatar 08/12/2004 Lydia from the cartoon adaptation of the film Beetlejuice
Nosferatu avatar Unknown Graf "Count" Orlok from the silent movie Nosferatu
Morpheus avatar Unknown Morpheus, or Dream of the Endless, from the The Sandman series of comics by Neil Gaiman
Oscar Wilde avatar Unknown Irish author Oscar Wilde
Image:strongsadblog_poe.png Unknown American writer Edgar Allan Poe

Posts

Current

  • 09.09.04 (6:54am) - Dinner for One
    • Mood: zonked.
    • Tune: Mr. Mom - Original Movie Soundtrack
    • I grilled up some zucchini last night and, oh man, that was a good meal. Grilling vegetables by oneself on a George Foreman grill outside by the trashcans can be the most pleasant of dining experiences. It's like I always say, "Food should be consumed in the most depressing way possible." In other news, I have recently discovered that I can't jump.Gravity works real good on me.
  • 08.26.04 (7:15am) - History Lesson Part II
    • Mood: whimsically whistful
    • Tune: Bowie at the Beeb - Five Years
    • I think if I grew up in the late 18th century, I would have made sure Johnny Appleseed and I were best friends. What a freakin weirdo, right? Wore a pot on his head and planted apple trees everywhere. There's no way that guy had any friends. He'd have no choice but to make me his best. I would have worn a washboard 'round my neck and overalls and been his right hand man: Saddy Dumpington.
We'd crisscross this great nation of ours, he planting apple trees and me rapping out songs of the day on my washboard for the townsfolk in exchange for table scraps. Songs like, um, 'Yankee Doodle' or maybe 'Skip to my Lu.' I'm not sure if those were around then, though. Or if they'd sound like anything other than 'SCRRREENK SCRUNK, SCRRRENK, SCRUNK!' on a washboard.
Jeez, my job woulda been way harder than his. Ungrateful hippie. Nothing but chuckin' seeds and getting all the girls for Appleseed while Saddy picks up the slack and keeps food on the table.
Forget Johnny Appleseed. I'll take my washboard and jam with Francis Scott Key instead. That guy knew how to party. Orchestrally.
  • 08.19.04 (12:01am) - The Curse of Keen Eyes
    • Mood: more humble than usual
    • Tune: my own remix - The writings of Gregor Mendel read over some old Brian Eno stuff
    • Why I am cursed with being the guy that always sees the saddest and most pathetic little snippets of other peoples' lives? Does anybody else have this problem? Like today, I was at a thrift store and I happened to look over just as this old lady walked right into a window that I guess she thought was a doorway. And she was going at a pretty good clip for a woman her age, too. She left a big faceprint on the glass and broke her bifocals and dropped a bunch of gross napkins she was carrying. And if that wasn't bad enough, then she looks over and sees me looking at her and goes, 'I'm sorry, Cambridge, will you shut off this force shield?' I couldn't take it so I ran away.
Right into a window that I guess I thought was a doorway. Or rather, right THROUGH a window that I thought was a doorway.
Now I'm banned from 'Soiled Bargains.' It's cool though. I kinda don't wear clothes.
  • 08.12.04 (9:38am) - Dr. Scholls?
    • Mood: brissly
    • Tune: Peter Murphy - Holy Smoke
    • Okay, okay, okay. Let's be honest. My feet look like elephant feet --- BUT THEY ARE NOT!!! They're called soolnds. Let's review: elephant = elephant feet; Strong Sad = soolnds. After a little epsom salt bath every night, my soolnds are quite soft and comfy. When I walk on the beach people laugh at me because my footprints are just big, circular indentions in the sand. It's possible that they're laughing at the fact that I wear a hooded sweatshirt when I swim in the ocean. The sun is such an evil thing. I also bring my towel with me into the water so nobody steals it. I hate the beach.
  • 08.05.04 (2:19am) - Long Time
    • Mood: smarmy
    • Tune: Frank Zappa - Uncle Meat
    • So I forgot the password to my blog a year or so ago and I just remembered it. I had decided to count how many times I blinked yesterday and around 3:14pm I was up to 2,387 when I remembered my password was gray_n_grey584. That jogged my memory because 2,387 reminds me of 584 for some reason. They must be cosmically linked. Is anyone even reading this? A little haiku before I sign off:
Broken slouchiness,
Smiling from outside the spine,
Sit up straight for once.
That's all for now.
I ended up blinking 7,413 times. My record is 11,083.
  • 03.13.03 (3:12pm) - Weird Time
    Strong Sad's Invite
    • Mood: torn
    • Tune: Angelo Badalamenti - Twin Peaks Fire Walk With Me Soundtrack
    • Today I got this e-vite from Homsar. That spells trouble. The last time he invited me to something I had to hug a tree. And it was just the 2 of us but he kept talking about what a great turnout there was. And the only refreshments were chips, mustard, and gravy. Except he called the chips "hot wings."
But at the same time I'm not exactly an invitation-magnet am I? I guess I'll go.
  • 02.28.03 (4:08am) - More Like Writer's Blecchh!
    • Mood: getting frustrated
    • Tune: Godspeed You Black Emperor - I can't tell where one song stops and the next one starts
    • Ugh! It's 4 am already and I haven't written one poem yet today. If I don't come up with something soon, my poem-count for February will be the lowest ever! I was trying to write something about the crack on my ceiling, but it seemed a little upbeat for my style. Maybe I could write about how no one is ever around to understand how clever I am.
Clever I am? Next to no one.
Undiscovered and soggy.
Look up. Look down. They're around.
Probably laughing. Still, bright, watery.
Listed among the top. Ten.
Nine. Late night. Early morn.
Early mourn. Now I sleep.
  • 02.20.03 (10:38am) - Post-it on my face
    • Mood: self pitying
    • Tune: Butch Willis - I'm the Kitty Cat
    • I woke up this morning with a Post-it on my face that said, "I am very awesome, got it?" I wonder who that was from. In case any of you are new readers, that would be my brother, Strong Bad. He thinks he is very awesome and also likes Post-its a lot. When I'm done with this entry, I'm going to go fix myself a cup of tea. Then I'll probably start trying to avoid Strong Bad for the rest of the day. Oh, here he is now. If I type real quite quiet, maybe he won't come in here. HJLWHOUISNASNKL?A STUPID!! GUY I AM A STUPID GUY!! HA HA HA!!!!GUIS kljIUS SJ. Okay, I didn't type that. I'll go ahead and leave it, so you guys can have an idea of what I have to put up with.

Archive 2

  • 02.14.03 (11:16am) - A Dark, Dark Day
    • Mood: meh
    • Tune: The Promise Ring - Say Goodbye Good
    • I think this just about sums it up. special thanks to The Cheat
  • 02.05.03 (9:16pm) - A New Year, A New You
    • Mood: rotten inside
    • Tune: Jerry Goldsmith - The Poltergeist Motion Picture Score
    • Normally I don't make any New Year's Resolutions, but the idea of self improvement is growing on me. So I started asking around about them. Bubs said he's going to quit embezzling from himself. Marzipan's going to try and enforce tougher water restrictions on the rest of us. And when I asked Homestar what his resolution was, he said, "Oh, 640x480 probably." That made me laugh. Then Homestar said, "What?" and I remebered what league I was playing in. "Nothing, that's a good one," I told him. "I know," he said, "You should see Space Quest 3. It looks awesome!"
My resolution for this year is to not feel so bad about wanting to hit Homestar so much.
  • 02.03.03 (1:02pm) - From out of the darkness
    • Mood: sebaceous
    • Tune: Pet Shop Boys - Discography: The Complete Singles Collection
    • Okay, so I kind of freaked out there at the end of the year and couldn't bring myself to post in my web journal. The pressure of all you people on the internet reading my inner thoughts got to be too much. So I locked myself in the pantry and revealed my secrets to fruit roll-ups and economy sized cans of Heinz ketchup. That worked for a while until I realized 3 months had passed and I'd gained 45 pounds. But now I'm back. Here I am, internet. Rock me like an e-Hurricane.

Archive 1

  • 11.23.02 (1:00pm) - A New Pain
    • Mood: devoid
    • Tune: The Smiths - Meat Is Murder
    • Today Strong Bad asked me to help him with his whistling, so I kept trying to explain to him how to do it, but he wasn't getting it. He finally just punched me on the side of my knee and said, "Whistle this." I don't know what that means. The punch didn't really hurt, so that was good. But then I told him that the punch didn't hurt. That was a mistake. Then he got Strong Mad to punch me on the side of my knee. That one hurt. A lot. I started to elevate my mind so I wouldn't be able to feel the pain, but I decided that feeling the pain was better than feeling nothing at all. I have given the pain in my knee a name. I call him, "Kreigh."
  • 11.18.02 (1:00pm) - A New Beginning of the End
    • Mood: slight
    • Tune: Matthew Sweet - Altered Beast
    • When I woke up this morning, I thought to myself, "Today's gonna be my day, Strong Sad's day." I have since come to discover that today is Not Strong Sad's Day. Just like every other day. Though I suppose you could call it Strong Sad's Day To Have Toothpaste Smeared In His Eyes By His Brothers. Unforuntately, that day is also fast becoming synonymous with WEEKdays. I have a good feeling about tomorrow, though. I'm hoping that someone other than Homsar talks to me. Today he kept asking, "When can we start the Jeffersons?" That guy has a communication problem.
  • 11.17.02 - The Beginning of the End
    • 10:18 pm
      • Mood: less reticent
      • Tune: Thursday - Concealer
      • So I've thought it over and I've decided to give the weblog another chance. Strong Bad's always stealing my journal anyway so I might as well make it public for all the world to ridicule. I'll try and keep it updated every week or so, depending on how heavy the weight of the world is at that particular time. I thought I'd begin with my crushed hope of the day: HAVE FRIENDS
    • 10:15 pm

R.I.P. Strong Sad's Weblog 12:05-12:15

Easter Eggs

  • In Strong Sad's user profile, you can click "none" after "friends" to see what secret fond memories Strong Sad has.

Fun Facts

Trivia

  • When depressio first came out, you could get to this site by emailing Strong Sad.
  • 'Morpheus' will have a drop of blood that comes out of his eye, much like a tear.
  • Here is Strong Sad's user profile:
Name: Strong Sad
Email: depressio@homestarrunner.com
AOL IM: depressio111117
Quote: "Each day we die a little more."
Interests: Listening, Books, Listening to books, Calligraphy, Poetry, Safety, Being alone, Arts, Crafts, Arts b/w Crafts
Friends: None
  • Every alternate text (for links) is "Header."
  • His emotions are...
    • zonked.
    • whimsically whistful
    • more humbled than usual
    • brissly
    • smarmy
    • torn
    • getting frustrated - in virus
    • bourgeoisie - in virus
    • self pitying
    • meh
    • rotten inside
    • sebaceous
    • devoid
    • slight
    • less reticent
    • reticent
  • For a short while on August 12th, 2004, heading to the Index Page would instead bring up Strong Sad's blog; this blocked all access to the site for a short period of time, with the only way to reach the site being to sneak through the 404'd pages.
  • You can click on the following links:
    • In Strong Sad's user profile, you can click "none" after "friends" to see what secret fond memories Strong Sad has.
    • In archives 1, click on "That guy" to hear a clip of Homsar saying "When can we start the Jeffersons?"
    • In archives 2, click on "this" to see a short Powered by The Cheat clip of a conveyor belt crushing hearts.
    • In current, click on "Post-its" to see an article about the invention of Post-its. (Link currently broken).
    • In current, click on "this" to see Homsar's party invite.
    • In current, click on "Saddy Dumpington" to see a picture of Saddy Dumpington.
  • Strong Sad's e-vite reads:
You're invited to an:
I'm Creepin & I'm Creepin & I'm Creepin Party!!

Hosted By: Homsar
Where: Almost There
When: Friday March 14th - from '93 til...

Comments:
Please come to my mega mix.

Bring Dips. Chips will be provided.

Bonfire. Social Graces. Late Night JengaJam.

4 live bands. 2 on the main stage, 2 on the Nokia SugarPhone SideShow Stage. Live acts TBA*

*Most (all) of the live acts will be to hug a tree.

Remarks

  • Strong Sad says he can't jump, despite doing two lousy jumping jacks in A Jumping Jack Contest, and at least one jumping jack the year before, although he may be implying that he's no good at jumping. He also jumped in Experimental Film.
    • This might be a reference to the fact that elephants are supposedly the only mammals who can't jump.
  • History Lesson Part II is written in the exact style of Strong Bad, as in that the entry says Johnny Appleseed was a hippie, and calls Strong Sad "dumpus". This may be because Strong Sad gave out his password earlier, so Strong Bad may have logged into Strong Sad's account and written his own entry.
  • There was never a "Mr. Mom Original Movie Soundtrack."
  • Strong Sad does have Homsar as a friend.

Goofs

  • Strong Sad actually made a typo in the "Post-it on my face" entry. He writes "If I type real quite, maybe he won't come in here." Instead of quiet.
  • In History Lesson, Part II, Strong Sad says that Francis Scott Key knew how to party orchestrally. However, Key only wrote the words to "The Star Spangled Banner" as a poem; it was later put to the music of an old English drinking song.

Inside References

Real-World References

  • "Strong Sad's Lament" is a reference to a famous section of a Catullus poem (in Latin) called "Ariadne's Lament."
  • "Arts b/w Crafts" in Strong Sad's profile is a reference to the titles of old vinyl singles and LP's, when "b/w" was an abbreviation put between the a-side name and b-side name which stood for "backed with".
  • Gregor Mendel is known as "the father of all genetics."
  • 3.14 are the first 3 digits of pi, and it is mentioned twice.
    • Strong Sad remembered his password at 3:14 PM.
    • Homsar's e-vite is on March 14, or 3-14. March 14 is also Pi Day.
  • The title of the 8/26/04 entry, "History Lesson Part II," is also the title of a song by the Minutemen (from 1984's Double Nickels on the Dime LP).
  • In "From out of the darkness", "Rock Me Like a Hurricane" was a title of a song by a German band "Scorpions"

External Links

Personal tools