Strong Sad's Lament

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The earth swarms with people who are not worth talking to.

Strong Sad's Lament is Strong Sad's personal weblog. It originated in the email "website," when you could access it by clicking on the "F10" image at the bottom of Strong Bad's Website.

In his lament he expresses his frustrations with life, complains about Strong Bad's constant practical jokes, and describes his bizarre relationship with Homsar. It debuted on November 17th 2002, and within a week was on a two and a half month hiatus. On February 3rd, 2003, it started again, and for nearly a month was regularly updated. It then went on a 17 month hiatus until August 5, 2004, when Strong Sad remembered his password and began posting regularly until September 9, 2004. The blog then went on a third hiatus until another post appeared on August 17, 2005.

Contents

Taglines

Avatars

Image Date Description
Image:bubo.jpg 09/01/2005 "Bubo" the clockwork owl featured in the film Clash of the Titans.
Image:jim.jpg 08/25/2005 Director Jim Jarmusch
Image:strongsadblog_vince.jpg 08/17/2005 Jazz musician Vince Guaraldi
Image:douglas.jpg 09/09/2004 English author Douglas Adams
Image:strongsadblog_neil.jpg 08/26/2004 Neil from The Young Ones
Radar avatar 08/19/2004 Corporal Walter (Radar) O'Reilly from the hit TV series M*A*S*H (originally from the movie of the same name)
Lydia avatar 08/12/2004 Lydia from the cartoon adaptation of the film Beetlejuice
Nosferatu avatar Unknown Graf "Count" Orlok from the silent movie Nosferatu
Morpheus avatar Unknown Morpheus, or Dream of the Endless, from the The Sandman series of comics by Neil Gaiman
Oscar Wilde avatar 03/13/2003 Irish author Oscar Wilde
Image:strongsadblog_poe.png Unknown Caricature of American writer Edgar Allan Poe

Posts

Current

  • 09.01.05 (8:15am) - Parade on my Rain
    It's been raining a lot lately. If I were an only child, that would be a good thing. Just me, my journal, and a few unscented candles. Colored but unscented. Scented candles have always seemed unnatural to me. It's insulting to candle-kind to have those perfumey clones walking around, scenting things up. And where does all this leave poor incense? Besides all over Marzipan's house I mean?
     
    But I digress, back to the topic at hand. Rain. Rain would be great if I didn't have my brothers Low-Brow and No-Brow constantly trying to ruin my dreary day parade. I remember a particular event they held called "Bringin' the Rain Back 2 Tha Peeps!" in which a contraption was rigged up to funnel rain in through my window and over my bed where I had previously been enjoying a wonderfully lonely rain nap (or 'wet nap' as I sometimes call them). As you can probably imagine, the 'peeps' were not impressed.
     
    I AM excited about my bi-, sometimes tri-, monthly ritual of taking my journal out into the rain and writing poems as the ink bleeds down the page and becomes illegible. I see it as a sort of sacrifice by giving a very personal part of myself to the rain. That, and the pneumonia I always seem to get.
  • 08.25.05 (9:55pm) - A Curious Email
    Now, I don't get a lot of email. That is to say, I don't get a lot of worth while email. Lotta death threats, hate mail, and joke invitations to online singles sites (which, of course, I don't discover are 'joke' invitations until after waiting around the proposed meeting location for 4-8 hours. but hey! you never know when one might turn out to be legit!).
     
    But today, I got this:
     
    why am i here indeed
     
    It clearly depicted me, looking the way I look when I'm thinking too hard about dairy. So I looked it up and it appears that I bear a striking resemblance to the Hopi sun god. I'm not sure how he or she felt about dairy but I hope I don't start getting accidentally worshipped. I've been 'worshed' before. Like, out back with the hose. You know, worshed off after I got all muddy. Never worshipped though. If nothing else, this has taught me that I should start wearing more red and yellow, as that border around my head really accentuates the pallor. Pallor if ya hear meh!
     
    Sorry. It sounded funnier than it reads.
  • 08.17.05 (2:19pm) - Stats n' Stumps
    So, here are I am again. Not quite a year since my last update. I checked the site stats for my blog, and in the 349 days of dormancy, my blog had 4.2 visitors. And only three of them were me. I bet Homsar is the .2 of a person. I wonder who that other person was. Oh, I guess Homsar could've checked it out 6 times. That's probably it.
     
    I recently sat on a tree stump. That's a real rush. If you've never done it, give it a shot. It's the kind of thing you see in stories a lot, but don't actually get to do very often. I had to stand up after a few hours because it was so intense. I'm also pretty excited about trying to hibernate this winter.
     
    I see no reason to not type the alphabet:
    AaBbCcDdEeFfGgHhIiJjKkLlMmNnOoPpQqRrSsTtUuVvWwXxYyZz
  • 09.09.04 (6:54am) - Dinner for One
    I grilled up some zucchini last night and, oh man, that was a good meal. Grilling vegetables by oneself on a George Foreman grill outside by the trashcans can be the most pleasant of dining experiences. It's like I always say, "Food should be consumed in the most depressing way possible." In other news, I have recently discovered that I can't jump. Gravity works real good on me.
  • 08.26.04 (7:15am) - History Lesson Part II
    I think if I grew up in the late 18th century, I would have made sure Johnny Appleseed and I were best friends. What a freakin weirdo, right? Wore a pot on his head and planted apple trees everywhere. There's no way that guy had any friends. He'd have no choice but to make me his best. I would have worn a washboard 'round my neck and overalls and been his right hand man: Saddy Dumpington.
     
    We'd crisscross this great nation of ours, he planting apple trees and me rapping out songs of the day on my washboard for the townsfolk in exchange for table scraps. Songs like, um, 'Yankee Doodle' or maybe 'Skip to my Lu.' I'm not sure if those were around then, though. Or if they'd sound like anything other than 'SCRRREENK SCRUNK, SCRRRENK, SCRUNK!' on a washboard.
     
    Jeez, my job woulda been way harder than his. Ungrateful hippie. Nothing but chuckin' seeds and getting all the girls for Appleseed while Saddy picks up the slack and keeps food on the table.
     
    Forget Johnny Appleseed. I'll take my washboard and jam with Francis Scott Key instead. That guy knew how to party. Orchestrally.
  • 08.19.04 (12:01am) - The Curse of Keen Eyes
    Why am I cursed with being the guy that always sees the saddest and most pathetic little snippets of other peoples' lives? Does anybody else have this problem? Like today, I was at a thrift store and I happened to look over just as this old lady walked right into a window that I guess she thought was a doorway. And she was going at a pretty good clip for a woman her age, too. She left a big faceprint on the glass and broke her bifocals and dropped a bunch of gross napkins she was carrying. And if that wasn't bad enough, then she looks over and sees me looking at her and goes, 'I'm sorry, Cambridge, will you shut off this force shield?' I couldn't take it so I ran away.
     
    Right into a window that I guess I thought was a doorway. Or rather, right THROUGH a window that I thought was a doorway.
     
    Now I'm banned from 'Soiled Bargains.' It's cool though. I kinda don't wear clothes.
  • 08.12.04 (9:38am) - Dr. Scholls?
    Okay, okay, okay. Let's be honest. My feet look like elephant feet --- BUT THEY ARE NOT!!! They're called soolnds. Let's review: elephant = elephant feet; Strong Sad = soolnds. After a little epsom salt bath every night, my soolnds are quite soft and comfy. When I walk on the beach people laugh at me because my footprints are just big, circular indentions in the sand. It's possible that they're laughing at the fact that I wear a hooded sweatshirt when I swim in the ocean. The sun is such an evil thing. I also bring my towel with me into the water so nobody steals it. I hate the beach.
  • 08.05.04 (2:19am) - Long Time
    So I forgot the password to my blog a year or so ago and I just remembered it. I had decided to count how many times I blinked yesterday and around 3:14pm I was up to 2,387 when I remembered my password was gray_n_grey584. That jogged my memory because 2,387 reminds me of 584 for some reason. They must be cosmically linked. Is anyone even reading this? A little haiku before I sign off:
     
    Broken slouchiness,
    Smiling from outside the spine,
    Sit up straight for once.
     
    That's all for now.
    I ended up blinking 7,413 times. My record is 11,083.
  • 03.13.03 (3:12pm) - Weird Time
    Strong Sad's Invite
    Today I got this e-vite from Homsar. That spells trouble. The last time he invited me to something I had to hug a tree. And it was just the 2 of us but he kept talking about what a great turnout there was. And the only refreshments were chips, mustard, and gravy. Except he called the chips "hot wings."
     
    But at the same time I'm not exactly an invitation-magnet am I? I guess I'll go.
  • 02.28.03 (4:08am) - More Like Writer's Blecchh!
    Ugh! It's 4 am already and I haven't written one poem yet today. If I don't come up with something soon, my poem-count for February will be the lowest ever! I was trying to write something about the crack on my ceiling, but it seemed a little upbeat for my style. Maybe I could write about how no one is ever around to understand how clever I am.
     
    Clever I am? Next to no one.
    Undiscovered and soggy.
    Look up. Look down. They're around.
    Probably laughing. Still, bright, watery.
    Listed among the top. Ten.
    Nine. Late night. Early morn.
    Early mourn. Now I sleep.
  • 02.20.03 (10:38am) - Post-it on my face
    I woke up this morning with a Post-it on my face that said, "I am very awesome, got it?" I wonder who that was from. In case any of you are new readers, that would be my brother, Strong Bad. He thinks he is very awesome and also likes Post-its a lot. When I'm done with this entry, I'm going to go fix myself a cup of tea. Then I'll probably start trying to avoid Strong Bad for the rest of the day. Oh, here he is now. If I type real quite, maybe he won't come in here. HJLWHOUISNASNKL?A STUPID!! GUY I AM A STUPID GUY!! HA HA HA!!!!GUIS kljIUS SJ. Okay, I didn't type that. I'll go ahead and leave it, so you guys can have an idea of what I have to put up with.

Archive 2

  • 02.14.03 (11:16am) - A Dark, Dark Day
    I think this just about sums it up. special thanks to The Cheat
  • 02.05.03 (9:16pm) - A New Year, A New You
    Normally I don't make any New Year's Resolutions, but the idea of self improvement is growing on me. So I started asking around about them. Bubs said he's going to quit embezzling from himself. Marzipan's going to try and enforce tougher water restrictions on the rest of us. And when I asked Homestar what his resolution was, he said, "Oh, 640x480 probably." That made me laugh. Then Homestar said, "What?" and I remebered what league I was playing in. "Nothing, that's a good one," I told him. "I know," he said, "You should see Space Quest 3. It looks awesome!"
     
    My resolution for this year is to not feel so bad about wanting to hit Homestar so much.
  • 02.03.03 (1:02pm) - From out of the darkness
    Okay, so I kind of freaked out there at the end of the year and couldn't bring myself to post in my web journal. The pressure of all you people on the internet reading my inner thoughts got to be too much. So I locked myself in the pantry and revealed my secrets to fruit roll-ups and economy sized cans of Heinz ketchup. That worked for a while until I realized 3 months had passed and I'd gained 45 pounds. But now I'm back. Here I am, internet. Rock me like an e-Hurricane.

Archive 1

  • 11.23.02 (1:00pm) - A New Pain
    Today Strong Bad asked me to help him with his whistling, so I kept trying to explain to him how to do it, but he wasn't getting it. He finally just punched me on the side of my knee and said, "Whistle this." I don't know what that means. The punch didn't really hurt, so that was good. But then I told him that the punch didn't hurt. That was a mistake. Then he got Strong Mad to punch me on the side of my knee. That one hurt. A lot. I started to elevate my mind so I wouldn't be able to feel the pain, but I decided that feeling the pain was better than feeling nothing at all. I have given the pain in my knee a name. I call him, "Kreigh."
  • 11.18.02 (1:00pm) - A New Beginning of the End
    When I woke up this morning, I thought to myself, "Today's gonna be my day, Strong Sad's day." I have since come to discover that today is Not Strong Sad's Day. Just like every other day. Though I suppose you could call it Strong Sad's Day To Have Toothpaste Smeared In His Eyes By His Brothers. Unforuntately, that day is also fast becoming synonymous with WEEKdays. I have a good feeling about tomorrow, though. I'm hoping that someone other than Homsar talks to me. Today he kept asking, "When can we start the Jeffersons?" That guy has a communication problem.
  • 11.17.02 - The Beginning of the End
    • 10:18 pm
      So I've thought it over and I've decided to give the weblog another chance. Strong Bad's always stealing my journal anyway so I might as well make it public for all the world to ridicule. I'll try and keep it updated every week or so, depending on how heavy the weight of the world is at that particular time. I thought I'd begin with my crushed hope of the day: HAVE FRIENDS
    • 10:15 pm
      Oh well, welcome to my weblog. You're probably going to hate it and write me horrible emails. In fact, nevermind. I give up. R.I.P. Strong Sad's Weblog 12:05-12:15

Easter Eggs

  • In Strong Sad's user profile, you can click "none" after "friends" to see what secret fond memories Strong Sad has.

Fun Facts

Trivia

  • 'Morpheus' will have a drop of blood that comes out of his eye, much like a tear.
  • Here is Strong Sad's user profile:
Name: Strong Sad
Email: depressio@homestarrunner.com
AOL IM: depressio111117
Quote: "Each day we die a little more."
Interests: Listening, Books, Listening to books, Calligraphy, Poetry, Safety, Being alone, Arts, Crafts, Arts b/w Crafts
Friends: None
  • Every alternate text (for links) is "Header."
  • His emotions are...
    • stalwart
    • the frig?
    • still alive
    • zonked.
    • whimsically whistful
    • more humbled than usual
    • brissly
    • smarmy
    • torn
    • getting frustrated - in virus
    • bourgeoise - in virus
    • o' what a night - in virus
    • self pitying
    • meh
    • rotten inside
    • sebaceous
    • devoid
    • slight
    • less reticent
    • reticent
  • For a short while on August 12th, 2004, heading to the Index Page would instead bring up Strong Sad's blog; this blocked all access to the site for a short period of time, with the only way to reach the site being to sneak through the 404'd pages.
  • You can click on the following links:
    • In Strong Sad's user profile, you can click "none" after "friends" to see what secret fond memories Strong Sad has.
    • In archives 1, click on "That guy" to hear a clip of Homsar saying "When can we start the Jeffersons?"
    • In archives 2, click on "this" to see a short Powered by The Cheat clip of hearts being crushed on a conveyor belt, with the grim reaper in the background.
    • In current, click on "Post-its" to see an article about the invention of Post-its. (Link currently broken).
    • In current, click on "this" to see Homsar's party invite.
    • In current, click on "Saddy Dumpington" to see a picture of Saddy Dumpington.
  • Strong Sad's e-vite reads:
Page title: PARSON BROWN PRESENTS!!
You're invited to an:
I'm Creepin & I'm Creepin & I'm Creepin Party!!

Hosted By: Homsar
Where: Almost There
When: Friday March 14th - from '93 til...

Comments:
Please come to my mega mix.

Bring Dips. Chips will be provided.

Bonfire. Social Graces. Late Night JengaJam.

4 live bands. 2 on the main stage, 2 on the Nokia SugarPhone SideShow Stage. Live acts TBA*

*Most (all) of the live acts will be to hug a tree.

Remarks

  • Strong Sad says he can't jump, despite jumping in Experimental Film, boring (really), doing two lousy jumping jacks in A Jumping Jack Contest, and at least one jumping jack the year before. He may be implying that he's no good at jumping. This may also be a reference to his "elephant feet" since elephants do not have the ability to jump.
  • There was never a "Mr. Mom Original Movie Soundtrack."
  • Strong Sad does have Homsar as a friend.
  • "History Lesson Part II" employs a large number of Strong Bad mannerisms, such as
  • calling Johnny Appleseed a hippie and a "freakin' weirdo"
  • calling Strong Sad "Saddy Dumpington"
  • using the squeaky pants sound effect
  • growing tired/annoyed with the original subject and switching to a different subject at the very end
This strongly suggests that the entry's author was actually Strong Bad, particularly since Strong Sad posted his password a few entries previous. However, in A Folky Tale, Strong Sad claims that Saddy Dumpington is a "legendary folk hero I made up". There are several possible solutions to this apparent contradiction:
  • Saddy Dumpington was originally Strong Sad's invention, and Strong Bad made fun of it.
  • Saddy Dumpington was Strong Bad's invention, and Strong Sad liked it so much he claimed it as his own.
  • Strong Sad deliberately wrote the entry using Strong Bad's mannerisms.
  • Strong Sad actually has some latent Strong Bad mannerisms that he only expresses through writing. It's quite common in the real world for mild-mannered people to adopt a very aggressive and hateful tone in their weblogs.

Strong Sad's Mistakes

  • Strong Sad actually made a typo in the "Post-it on my face" entry. He writes "If I type real quite, maybe he won't come in here." Instead of quiet.
  • He also makes a typo in the entry titled "A New Beginning of the End," where he misspells "unfortunately" as "unforuntately."
  • Strong Sad has a third typo in the entry "A New Year, A New You"; He misspells "remembered" as "remebered."
  • In History Lesson, Part II, Strong Sad says that Francis Scott Key knew how to party orchestrally. However, Key only wrote the words to "The Star Spangled Banner" as a poem; it was later put to the music of an old English drinking song.
  • In A Curious Email, Strong Sad accidentally types "worthwhile" as two words ("worth while").

Inside References

  • Strong Sad says "Each day we die a little more" on the Spin 'n' Say.
  • Homsar first said "JengaJam" in Where's The Cheat?
  • In different town, Strong Bad wants Strong Sad to bring him back a bust of Bubo from The Clash of the Titans Con.

Real-World References

  • "Arts b/w Crafts" in Strong Sad's profile is a reference to the titles of old vinyl singles and LP's, when "b/w" was an abbreviation put between the a-side name and b-side name which stood for "backed with".
  • 3.14 are the first 3 digits of pi, and it is mentioned twice.
    • Strong Sad remembered his password at 3:14 PM.
    • Homsar's e-vite is on March 14, or 3-14. March 14 is also Pi Day.
  • The title of the 8/26/04 entry, "History Lesson Part II," is also the title of a song by the Minutemen (from 1984's Double Nickels on the Dime LP).
  • In "From out of the darkness", "Rock me like an e-Hurricane" is a reference to the song "Rock You Like a Hurricane," by The Scorpions.
  • "Parson Brown" is a character in the Christmas song "Winter Wonderland" by Felix Bernard and Dick Smith.
  • "Pallor if ya hear meh!" is a reference to ex-wrestler Scott Steiner's catchphrase, "Holla if ya hear me."

External Links

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