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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for English. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail161.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="18" end="54" speaker="strongbad"><em>(singing) Start your day the sbemail way,</em></line>
  <line start="55" end="94" speaker="strongbad"><em>and never get out of beeeed!</em></line>
  <line start="101" end="115" speaker="strongbad" volume=".8"><em>(sounding bored)</em> Ehhh, hey, Strong Bad.</line>
  <line start="116" end="160" speaker="strongbad" volume=".8">I was wondering what was the stupidest thing that Homestar ever did, said, or imagined?</line>
  <line start="162" end="184" speaker="strongbad" volume=".8">Uuuuuuuuur biggest fan,</line>
  <line start="185" end="213" speaker="strongbad" volume=".8">Spanky Elgrondo, Nueva York.</line>
  <line start="219" end="259" speaker="strongbad">Well, my good Spank, that is <em>way</em> too broad a subject</line>
  <line start="260" end="312" speaker="strongbad">and would take several days just to scratch the surface of the tip of that iceberg.</line>
  <line start="313" end="369" speaker="strongbad">Especially the imagined part. That one has its own spreadsheet even.</line>
  <line start="370" end="438" speaker="strongbad">No, we'll have to get much more specific if we're gonna cover any stupid Homestar ground in one email.</line>
  <line start="439" end="508" speaker="strongbad">So it's time you people learned all about the four branches of stupid things Homestar's done!</line>
  <line start="512" end="545" speaker="homestar">Ooh! I'm a neglected official!</line>
  <line start="550" end="590" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The first branch is in charge of keeping the public informed.</line>
  <line start="591" end="632" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">It's the House of Doing Stupid Things on National Television!</line>
  <line start="639" end="681" speaker="homestar">Now, isn't that a tasty makeover, ladyfriends?</line>
  <line start="682" end="702">
    <homestar>Huh? Huh?</homestar>
    <sfx>audience ooohs</sfx>
  <line start="703" end="750" speaker="homestar">From "Drab" to "Fab" with nothing but mustaaaard!</line>
  <line start="751" end="762" speaker="sfx">audience squeals</line>
  <line start="763" end="825" speaker="homestar">Now my next guest says her man doesn't give respect when she comes correct.</line>
  <line start="826" end="860" speaker="homestar">But he thinks she's just a drama mama!</line>
  <line start="861" end="886" speaker="homestar">So let's bring 'im out!</line>
  <line start="887" end="922" speaker="sfx">audience boos</line>
  <line start="923" end="962" speaker="homestar">Yeah, whatever. You know you all want some.</line>
  <line start="968" end="975" speaker="homestar">Oof!</line>
  <line start="981" end="1060">
    <strongbad voiceover="voiceover">That's right, Homestar secretly had himself on his own "You're a bad boyfriend" talk show.</strongbad>
    <sfx>audience squeals</sfx>
  <line start="1065" end="1113" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The next branch tracks the stupid things Homestar does on the job.</line>
  <line start="1114" end="1157" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Here comes the Bureau of Doing Stupid Things at the Office!</line>
  <line start="1158" end="1208" speaker="strongbad">No, ma'am. This would be a password you gave to us.</line>
  <line start="1212" end="1253" speaker="strongbad">Yes, sir. It could be the last four digits of your dog,</line>
  <line start="1254" end="1283" speaker="strongbad">or your mother's maiden credit card number...</line>
  <line start="1284" end="1318" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Hey, Strong Bro! Keg party at the water cooler!</line>
  <line start="1319" end="1364" speaker="strongbad">Not now! I'm talking to phone tree survivor number thirteen!</line>
  <line start="1365" end="1397" speaker="strongbad">Yes, lady. The whole password.</line>
  <line start="1398" end="1436" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Stro Bro! Free bagels at the water cooler!</line>
  <line start="1437" end="1467" speaker="strongbad">I'm sorry, ma'am! Free bagels just happened!</line>
  <line start="1488" end="1519" speaker="strongbad">Awww, man! This isn't free bagels!</line>
  <line start="1520" end="1573" speaker="homestar">No, but it is Homestar from the water cooler!</line>
  <line start="1574" end="1586" speaker="homestar">That's pretty sweet!</line>
  <line start="1587" end="1640" speaker="strongbad">J-just explain to me what you were <em>trying</em> to do when this happened.</line>
  <line start="1641" end="1687" speaker="homestar">Well, I was in Barbados, hanging a picture on the wall...</line>
  <line start="1688" end="1715" speaker="strongbad">Okay, that tells me everything I need to know.</line>
  <line start="1716" end="1734" speaker="strongbad">How 'bout we try this?</line>
  <line start="1746" end="1766" speaker="homestar">Ow! Ow ow! Stop!</line>
  <line start="1771" end="1796" speaker="homestar">Sweet genius that hurt!</line>
  <line start="1799" end="1845" speaker="homestar">Oh, well. Just forget it. I'll just stay in here for the rest of my life.</line>
  <line start="1846" end="1874" speaker="homestar">Just stack my mail on top of me, wouldja?</line>
  <line start="1884" end="1940" speaker="homestar">Thanks, S-Bro! Man, where should we go for lunch today?</line>
  <line start="1949" end="1964" speaker="homestar">Chinese buffet?</line>
  <line start="1965" end="3812" speaker="other"><em>Subtitles not yet complete</em></line>
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