Subtitles:sbemail161/en

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These are the English subtitles for English. watch this toon To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome. It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on homestarrunner.com and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer.

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail161.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="18" end="54" speaker="strongbad"><em>(singing) Start your day the sbemail way,</em></line>
  <line start="55" end="94" speaker="strongbad"><em>and never get out of beeeed!</em></line>
  <line start="101" end="115" speaker="strongbad" volume=".8"><em>(sounding bored)</em> Ehhh, hey, Strong Bad.</line>
  <line start="116" end="160" speaker="strongbad" volume=".8">I was wondering what was the stupidest thing that Homestar ever did, said, or imagined?</line>
  <line start="162" end="184" speaker="strongbad" volume=".8">Uuuuuuuuur biggest fan,</line>
  <line start="185" end="213" speaker="strongbad" volume=".8">Spanky Elgrondo, Nueva York.</line>
  <line start="219" end="259" speaker="strongbad">Well, my good Spank, that is <em>way</em> too broad a subject</line>
  <line start="260" end="312" speaker="strongbad">and would take several days just to scratch the surface of the tip of that iceberg.</line>
  <line start="313" end="369" speaker="strongbad">Especially the imagined part. That one has its own spreadsheet even.</line>
  <line start="370" end="438" speaker="strongbad">No, we'll have to get much more specific if we're gonna cover any stupid Homestar ground in one email.</line>
  <line start="439" end="508" speaker="strongbad">So it's time you people learned all about the four branches of stupid things Homestar's done!</line>
  <line start="512" end="545" speaker="homestar">Ooh! I'm a neglected official!</line>
  <line start="550" end="590" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The first branch is in charge of keeping the public informed.</line>
  <line start="591" end="632" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">It's the House of Doing Stupid Things on National Television!</line>
  <line start="639" end="681" speaker="homestar">Now, isn't that a tasty makeover, ladyfriends?</line>
  <line start="682" end="702">
    <homestar>Huh? Huh?</homestar>
    <sfx>audience ooohs</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="703" end="748" speaker="homestar">From "Drab" to "Fab" with nothing but mustaaaard!</line>
  <line start="749" end="762" speaker="sfx">audience squeals</line>
  <line start="763" end="825" speaker="homestar">Now my next guest says her man doesn't give respect when she calls collect.</line>
  <line start="826" end="860" speaker="homestar">But he thinks she's just a drama mama!</line>
  <line start="861" end="886" speaker="homestar">So let's bring 'im out!</line>
  <line start="887" end="922" speaker="sfx">audience boos</line>
  <line start="923" end="962" speaker="homestar">Yeah, whatever. You know you all want some.</line>
  <line start="968" end="975" speaker="homestar">Oof!</line>
  <line start="981" end="1060">
    <strongbad voiceover="voiceover">That's right, Homestar secretly had himself on his own "You're a bad boyfriend" talk show.</strongbad>
    <sfx>audience squeals</sfx>
  </line>
  <line start="1065" end="1113" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The next branch tracks the stupid things Homestar does on the job.</line>
  <line start="1114" end="1157" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Here comes the Bureau of Doing Stupid Things at the Office!</line>
  <line start="1158" end="1208" speaker="strongbad">No, ma'am. This would be a password you gave to us.</line>
  <line start="1212" end="1253" speaker="strongbad">Yes, sir. It could be the last four digits of your dog,</line>
  <line start="1254" end="1283" speaker="strongbad">or your mother's maiden credit card number...</line>
  <line start="1284" end="1318" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Hey, Strong Bro! Keg party at the water cooler!</line>
  <line start="1319" end="1364" speaker="strongbad">Not now! I'm talking to phone tree survivor number thirteen!</line>
  <line start="1365" end="1397" speaker="strongbad">Yes, lady. The whole password.</line>
  <line start="1398" end="1436" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Stro Bro! Free bagels at the water cooler!</line>
  <line start="1437" end="1467" speaker="strongbad">I'm sorry, ma'am! Free bagels just happened!</line>
  <line start="1488" end="1519" speaker="strongbad">Awww, man! This isn't free bagels!</line>
  <line start="1520" end="1573" speaker="homestar">No, but it is free...ing Homestar from the water cooler!</line>
  <line start="1574" end="1586" speaker="homestar">That's pretty sweet!</line>
  <line start="1587" end="1640" speaker="strongbad">J-just explain to me what you were <em>trying</em> to do when this happened.</line>
  <line start="1641" end="1687" speaker="homestar">Well, I was in Barbados, hanging a picture on the wall...</line>
  <line start="1688" end="1715" speaker="strongbad">Okay, that tells me everything I need to know.</line>
  <line start="1716" end="1734" speaker="strongbad">How 'bout we try this?</line>
  <line start="1746" end="1766" speaker="homestar">Ow! Ow ow! Stop!</line>
  <line start="1771" end="1796" speaker="homestar">Sweet genius that hurt!</line>
  <line start="1799" end="1845" speaker="homestar">Oh, well. Just forget it. I'll just stay in here for the rest of my life.</line>
  <line start="1846" end="1874" speaker="homestar">Just stack my mail on top of me, wouldja?</line>
  <line start="1884" end="1940" speaker="homestar">Thanks, S-Bro! Man, where should we go for lunch today?</line>
  <line start="1949" end="1964" speaker="homestar">Chinese buffet?</line>
  <line start="1965" end="3812" speaker="other"><em>Subtitles not yet complete</em></line>
</transcript>