Subtitles:sbemail175/en

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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail175.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="16" end="70" speaker="strongbad">I'm running through a field of emails! Paranoia! Paranoia!</line>
<line start="78" end="88" speaker="strongbad">"Hey Strong Bad,</line>
<line start="89" end="105" speaker="strongbad">"Have you ever been to a concert?</line>
<line start="106" end="135" speaker="strongbad">"If you have, what type of concert was it?</line>
<line start="136" end="170" speaker="strongbad">"Your dragon, Trogdor? Smiley face?"</line>
<line start="171" end="210" speaker="strongbad">Wipe that smiley face off your the words 'smiley face.'</line>
<line start="211" end="255" speaker="strongbad">You do <i>not</i> impersonate The Burninator, got it?</line>
<line start="256" end="270" speaker="sfx">Trogdor burning sound</line>
<line start="271" end="328" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, I go to concerts. Why else would I own a pair of Hollywood Boulevards?</line>
<line start="333" end="368" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, hello, pleatèd boots!</line>
<line start="370" end="395" speaker="strongsad">What are you all gusseyed up for?</line>
<line start="395" end="425" speaker="strongbad">Shut up man, I always dress like this!</line>
<line start="426" end="472" speaker="strongbad">I'm going to see Limozeen tonight. But I never heard of the opening band,</line>
<line start="473" end="510" speaker="strongbad">so I'm going to show up fashionably late.</line>
<line start="511" end="534" speaker="strongbad">What are you all gusseyed down for?</line>
<line start="534" end="565" speaker="strongsad">I'm going to see a show tonight too.</line>
<line start="566" end="621" speaker="strongsad">But I've never heard of the headliner, so I'm gonna leave fashionably early.</line>
<line start="622" end="665" speaker="strongbad">Well, those two things don't sound at all related. Bye loser!</line>
<line start="672" end="700" speaker="strongbad">Hey, guess what? They were related.</line>
<line start="701" end="765" speaker="strongbad">Apparently, Limozeen was trying to expand their audience into people that went to college.</line>
<line start="766" end="835" speaker="strongbad">So, they got this band <span style="color:#FFF;">sl</span>o<span style="color:#FFF;">shy</span> to open up for them. But Limozeen ended up cancelling because...</line>
<line start="840" end="940"><sfx>drums</sfx><larry voiceover="voiceover">Our audience must be 94% hot young females, with bangs higher than or equal to our own.</larry></line>
<line start="941" end="970"><sfx>louder drumming</sfx><larry voiceover="voiceover">And also a deviled egg tray!</larry></line>
<line start="971" end="984" speaker="sfx">drums end with crowd cheer</line>
<line start="985" end="1060" speaker="strongbad">So, Limozeen just hung out in their tour bus and watched ESPN Classic all night, while sloshy played both sets.</line>
<line start="1061" end="1105" speaker="strongbad">Needless to say, I was perplexed, and intriguéd.</line>
<line start="1111" end="1175"><sfx>music</sfx><strongbad>So, help me out here. Were they missing some members? Where was their lead guitarist?</strongbad></line>
<line start="1176" end="1202"><sfx>music</sfx><strongsad>Uh, that was the whole band.</strongsad></line>
<line start="1203" end="1250"><sfx>music</sfx><strongbad>What?! You're not allowed to have a band with only three people in it!</strongbad></line>
<line start="1251" end="1324"><sfx>music</sfx><strongbad>And something else's suspicious. What happened to the bassist's sunglasses? Did the lenses fall out?</strongbad></line>
<line start="1325" end="1362"><sfx>music fades out</sfx><strongsad>No, Strong Bad, those were just <i>regular glasses</i>.</strongsad></line>
<line start="1363" end="1376" speaker="strongbad">Shock and horror!</line>
<line start="1380" end="1418"><sfx>video game sounds</sfx><strongbad>But they must be like, a brand new band, right?</strongbad></line>
<line start="1418" end="1461"><sfx>video game sounds</sfx><strongsad>No, they've been around for five or six years now...</strongsad></line>
<line start="1462" end="1494"><sfx>video game sounds</sfx><strongbad>Then why haven't they grown their hair long yet?</strongbad></line>
<line start="1495" end="1534"><sfx>video game sounds</sfx><strongsad>I think those are just their haircuts, Strong Bad.</strongsad></line>
<line start="1534" end="1548"><sfx>video game sounds</sfx><strongbad>Really?</strongbad></line>
<line start="1548" end="1602"><strongsad sfx="sfx">brushing</strongsad><strongbad>So somebody must've stolen their costume trailer, huh? Man, that's rough.</strongbad></line>
<line start="1603" end="1658"><strongsad sfx="sfx">brushing</strongsad><strongbad>They couldn't wear any of their spandex, or latex, or... Tex-mex...</strongbad></line>
<line start="1659" end="1730" speaker="strongsad">They don't wear costumes. They were probably just wearing what they'd been wearing all day.</line>
<line start="1731" end="1751" speaker="strongbad">But... The music rocked.</line>
<line start="1752" end="1760" speaker="strongsad">Yes.</line>
<line start="1761" end="1782" speaker="strongbad">And they weren't wearing costumes.</line>
<line start="1783" end="1792" speaker="strongsad"><i>No</i>.</line>
<line start="1793" end="1815" speaker="strongbad">Huh... Interesting.</line>
<line start="1825" end="1907"><sfx>birds</sfx><strongbad>There were no high leg kicks or choreographed spin moves... And that one guy even had his back to us all night.</strongbad></line>
<line start="1908" end="1982"><sfx>birds</sfx><strongbad>It's like they don't really even care about me. Like when they played that song called 'We Don't Really Even Care About You'?</strongbad></line>
<line start="1990" end="2075"><sfx>music</sfx><sloshy voiceover="voiceover">We don't really even care (we don't even really care) about you!</sloshy></line>
<line start="2075" end="2106"><sfx>music</sfx><homestar>And <i>no</i> pyrotechnics?</homestar></line>
<line start="2106" end="2156"><sfx>music</sfx><strongbad>Nope. They just strung a bunch of Christmas lights over their bass drum.</strongbad></line>
<line start="2157" end="2171"><sfx>music</sfx><homestar>And they still rocked?</homestar></line>
<line start="2171" end="2183"><sfx>music</sfx><strongbad>Yeah, totally!</strongbad></line>
<line start="2184" end="2275"><sfx>music</sfx><strongbad>And they can't be bothered to play solos, so they always leave a space to sing your own! Check out these <i>mow da mows</i>.</strongbad></line>
<line start="2276" end="2392"><sfx>music</sfx><strongbad sfx="sfx">guitar solo sounds</strongbad></line>
<line start="2393" end="2421"><sfx>music</sfx><strongsad>Hey, hey! <i>slosh-ay</i>!</strongsad></line>
<line start="2421" end="2452"><sfx>music</sfx><strongbad><i>Slosh-ay</i>!</strongbad></line>
<line start="2453" end="2488"><sfx>music</sfx><homestar>You guys are <i>so lame</i>.</homestar></line>
<line start="2489" end="2543" speaker="strongbad">And that's how sloshy became one of my favorite metal bands.</line>
<line start="2544" end="2597" speaker="strongsad">Uh, Strong Bad, I wouldn't exactly call sloshy <i>metal</i>.</line>
<line start="2598" end="2639" speaker="strongbad">What're you talkin' about? Of course they're metal. Look at the facts.</line>
<line start="2640" end="2702"><sfx>music</sfx><strongbad>No costume, short hair, a logo that's not jaggedy or drippety at all...</strongbad></line>
<line start="2703" end="2774"><sfx>music</sfx><strongbad>And songs that aren't about girls... Los Angeles... or good... times...</strongbad></line>
<line start="2775" end="2784"><sfx>record scratch</sfx><strongbad>Hey, wait a minute! You tricked me! sloshy's not metal!</strongbad></line>
<line start="2784" end="2824"><span style="visibility:hidden"><sfx>record scratch</sfx></span><strongbad>Hey, wait a minute! You tricked me! sloshy's not metal!</strongbad></line>
<line start="2825" end="2880" speaker="strongsad">I didn't <i>trick</i> you, I was just helping you broaden your horizons...</line>
<line start="2881" end="2895" speaker="strongbad">I'll broaden <i>your</i> horizons!</line>
<line start="2896" end="2905" speaker="sfx">smash</line>
<line start="2905" end="2915"><sfx>smash</sfx><strongsad>Ow!</strongsad></line>
<line start="2916" end="2972" speaker="strongbad">And that's how sloshy became one of my least favorite bands.</line>
<line start="2973" end="3002" speaker="newpaper" sfx="sfx">printing noises</line>
<line start="3003" end="3042" speaker="strongbad">Ugh... That sound... It's got no punch.</line>
<line start="3043" end="3102" speaker="strongbad">You just kinda slither out, like a boring lizard's tongue. Let's try this.</line>
<line start="3103" end="3118"><strongbad sfx="sfx">grunt</strongbad><sfx>crack!</sfx></line>
<line start="3119" end="3140" speaker="newpaper" sfx="sfx">harsh grinding sound</line>
<line start="3141" end="3194" speaker="strongbad">There we go... We're good at least until you completely shred that disk.</line>
<line start="3194" end="3207" speaker="newpaper" sfx="sfx">harsh grinding sound</line>
<line start="3228" end="3312" speaker="cardgage">Why, hello, Miss Treta. Check out Senor Cardgage's Intregway.</line>
<line start="3313" end="3389" speaker="cardgage">Dump tell no mandy, it's just a land mower turned bankways!</line>
<line start="3389" end="3424" speaker="cardgage">If you help me buy it, I'll cut you in!</line>
<line start="3425" end="3445" speaker="strongbad">I'll help you buy it! I'll help you buy it!</line>
<line start="3474" end="3525" speaker="mary">Wow! That Danny Ainge complains about every call!</line>
<line start="3538" end="3615" speaker="larry">I'm totally mesmerized by Kevin McHale's armpit haaair! Oooeeuuh!</line>
<line start="3627" end="3675"><sfx>birds</sfx><strongbad>Where did these mud baths come from? These things are awesome!</strongbad></line>
<line start="3676" end="3683" speaker="sfx">squish</line>
<line start="3684" end="3705"><strongbad sfx="sfx">screams</strongbad><strongsad sfx="sfx">screams</strongsad></line>
</transcript>