Subtitles:sbemail184/en

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These are the English subtitles for diorama. watch this toon To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome. It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on homestarrunner.com and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer.

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail184.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="17" end="79" speaker="strongbad">I baked you this special email! It has... raisins.</line>
<line start="80" end="93" speaker="strongbad">"Hey Strong Bad,</line>
<line start="94" end="139" speaker="strongbad">"I have to do some crappy, really stupid diorama this year.</line>
<line start="140" end="209" speaker="strongbad">"I want it to be bloody and gory, but it has to be "Middle School Appropriate," or whatever.</line>
<line start="210" end="224" speaker="strongbad">"Got any tips?</line>
<line start="225" end="259" speaker="strongbad">"Molly T., Charlotte, N.C."</line>
<line start="260" end="283" speaker="strongbad">Whoa, It's like you're no place!</line>
<line start="284" end="387" speaker="strongbad">So you're telling me that Ms. Charbroiledburger, or whoever actually told you to make a crappy, really stupid diorama for an assignment?</line>
<line start="388" end="415" speaker="strongbad">Now that's what I call edjakashun!!</line>
<line start="416" end="482" speaker="strongbad">No sense in thinking about this one until you're on the bus on the way to school the morning it's due.</line>
<line start="483" end="527" speaker="strongbad">Then it's time to whip out my old standby-orama:</line>
<line start="528" end="575" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The Whimsical World of School Supplies!</line>
<line start="576" end="611" speaker="strongbad">But dioramas shouldn't be wasted, Mollyman.</line>
<line start="612" end="719" speaker="strongbad">This is probably the only school-approved opportunity to melt small plastic animals and shame our beloved literary characters that you're ever gonna get.</line>
<line start="720" end="759" speaker="strongbad">I say embrace it! I say deface it!!</line>
<line start="760" end="773" speaker="strongbad">Here are my tips:</line>
<line start="774" end="835" speaker="strongbad">first off, behind every good diorama is an even gooder shoebox.</line>
<line start="836" end="883" speaker="strongbad">So unless you wanna get called The Stride-Rite Kid for the rest of your life,</line>
<line start="884" end="933" speaker="strongbad">you better go buy a pair of the coolest, most expensive shoes on the market.</line>
<line start="934" end="942" speaker="sfx">ding!</line>
<line start="943" end="1004" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Or at least modify a box of cheapo, generico shoes to look expensive.</line>
<line start="1013" end="1034" speaker="strongbad">Now let's talk about topics.</line>
<line start="1035" end="1106" speaker="strongbad">If the assignment calls for a science diorama, just slap some glue on some cotton balls and BANG!</line>
<line start="1107" end="1144" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The effects of cumulonimbus clouds on sheep, <span style="visibility:hidden">snowmen, aaaaand... cotton... balls.</span></line>
<line start="1145" end="1156" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The effects of cumulonimbus clouds on sheep, snowmen, <span style="visibility:hidden">aaaaand... cotton... balls.</span></line>
<line start="1157" end="1170" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The effects of cumulonimbus clouds on sheep, snowmen, aaaaand... <span style="visibility:hidden">cotton... balls.</span></line>
<line start="1171" end="1179" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The effects of cumulonimbus clouds on sheep, snowmen, aaaaand... cotton... <span style="visibility:hidden">balls.</span></line>
<line start="1180" end="1192" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The effects of cumulonimbus clouds on sheep, snowmen, aaaaand... cotton... balls.</line>
<line start="1193" end="1214" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">But if you're out of cotton balls,</line>
<line start="1215" end="1264" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">real chunks of the King of Town's beard make a great substitute.</line>
<line start="1265" end="1322" speaker="kingoftown">To be fair, I did eat all the cotton balls.</line>
<line start="1323" end="1381" speaker="strongbad">If you need to make some historical diorama, there's only one way to go:</line>
<line start="1382" end="1417" speaker="strongbad">presidential assassinations.</line>
<line start="1418" end="1464" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">You can immortalize such tragic moments in U.S. history as...</line>
<line start="1465" end="1495" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">the robot that effortlessly offed Jimmy Carter.</line>
<line start="1496" end="1511"><strongbad voiceover="voiceover">the robot that effortlessly offed Jimmy Carter.</strongbad><sfx>computer-like sounds</sfx></line>
<line start="1512" end="1543"><strongbad voiceover="voiceover">And if it's a book report diorama you're doing,</strongbad><sfx>computer-like sound</sfx></line>
<line start="1544" end="1602" speaker="strongbad">the easiest way to get around reading an actual book is to make one up yourself!</line>
<line start="1603" end="1638" speaker="strongbad">I can't tell you how many dioramas I got out of</line>
<line start="1639" end="1680" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover"><i>The King Of Town's Adventures in Giant Cockroachland!</i> <span style="visibility:hidden">Books I through VII.</span></line>
<line start="1681" end="1700" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover"><i>The King Of Town's Adventures in Giant Cockroachland!</i> Books I through VII.</line>
<line start="1701" end="1767" speaker="strongbad">Though with the internet, it's probably easier for teachers to check your sources than in my day.</line>
<line start="1768" end="1799" speaker="strongbad">To get away with that now, you'd also have to make</line>
<line start="1800" end="1845" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">a fake website for the book, and the author, and the publisher,</line>
<line start="1846" end="1899" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">and just to be safe, maybe go ahead and actually write the book.</line>
<line start="1900" end="1934" speaker="strongbad">Man. It's gotten so hard to cheat these days!</line>
<line start="1935" end="1965" speaker="thecheat">agreeing The Cheat noises</line>
<line start="1966" end="2009" speaker="strongbad">Finally, let me address your concerns about blood and gore.</line>
<line start="2010" end="2095" speaker="strongbad">There's an easy loophole to exploit here, Molly. A little something I like to call... uh-dinosaurs.</line>
<line start="2096" end="2166" speaker="strongbad">No teacher can argue, that an Allosaurus tearing apart its prey is bound to be pretty gruesome.</line>
<line start="2167" end="2231" speaker="strongbad" vocieover="voiceover">And if that prey just happens to be the signers of The Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo,</line>
<line start="2232" end="2259" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">well that's bound to be pretty messed up too.</line>
<line start="2260" end="2307" speaker="strongbad">Oh man, that is too awesome. I gotta get in on that action.</line>
<line start="2308" end="2366" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, take that, Nicholas Trist, representative for president James K. Polk!</line>
<line start="2367" end="2424" speaker="strongbad">I'll teach you to mess with my Rio Grande! And my Rio Bravo!</line>
<line start="2425" end="2463" speaker="strongbad">Well Mollybdenum, you think you got enough to go on?</line>
<line start="2464" end="2497" speaker="strongbad">You're gonna dioRAM their socks off!</line>
<line start="2498" end="2571" speaker="strongbad">Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go help that robot vaporize The Old Public Functionary!</line>
<line start="2572" end="2584" speaker="sfx">The Geddup Noise</line>
<line start="2585" end="2629"><strongbad>Come on, Boltotron! Hit him with the Byoo-Cannon!</strongbad><sfx>computer-like sounds</sfx></line>
<line start="2630" end="2658"><strongbad>Byoo byo-byoo byoo byo-byo-byoo!</strongbad><sfx>computer-like sounds</sfx></line>
<line start="2659" end="2688" speaker="newpaper">shuffling sound</line>
<line start="2694" end="2751" speaker="coachz">Well hey there Ronmartin Realdude, It's the big Z.</line>
<line start="2752" end="2791" speaker="coachz">Just giving you a call on my new cell phone.</line>
<line start="2792" end="2810" speaker="coachz">What's that you say?</line>
<line start="2811" end="2899" speaker="coachz">Well I sure am flattered Ronmartin, but I've already got a gorgeous girlfriend name o' Marzipan.</line>
<line start="2926" end="2983" speaker="cardgage">Oh. Hello-quialism. Who are these guys?</line>
<line start="2984" end="3064" speaker="announcer">All new 2008 Air Cardgage! Only 249.99.99.99! Only at Styles Upon Styles!</line>
<line start="3065" end="3110" speaker="cardgage">This is not what I sagged on for.</line>
</transcript>