Subtitles:sbemail195/en

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These are the English subtitles for love poems. watch this toon To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome. It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on homestarrunner.com and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer.

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail195.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="16" end="97" speaker="strongbad"><i>(singing)</i> Girl, where's my money that you owe me from all those emails that you wrote me?</line>
  <line start="98" end="126" speaker="strongbad">“Dear Mr. Strong [Bad].</line>
  <line start="127" end="204" speaker="strongbad">“I am in love. Unfortunately, I am absotively blunderous with my words which I speak.</line>
  <line start="205" end="232" speaker="strongbad">“Will you help me write a love poem?</line>
  <line start="233" end="276" speaker="strongbad">“Sincerely, Just Another Homeless Romantic”</line>
  <line start="277" end="353" speaker="strongbad">Well, put on your patchy-stained jacket and gather 'round the fire in the trashcan, Homeless Romantic,</line>
  <line start="354" end="401" speaker="strongbad">cause the Rub [Doctor] is here to help!</line>
  <line start="402" end="436" speaker="strongbad">Hi. I'm Doctor Marvin Rubdown.</line>
  <line start="437" end="530" speaker="strongbad">Did you know that writing love poems is as easy as telling a girl she's hot with the fance-pantsiest words you can think of?</line>
  <line start="531" end="601" speaker="strongbad">For poetic inspiration, I like to swipe the names of scented candle fragrances!</line>
  <line start="609" end="677"><strongbad>Your eyes, they flicker like a Sandalwood Sage Sunset.</strongbad><sfx>Romantic Violin music</sfx></line>
  <line start="678" end="743"><strongbad>Your hair flows like Fresh Cotton Linens hung to dry on the deck.</strongbad><sfx>Romantic Violin music</sfx></line>
  <line start="744" end="813"><strongbad>Grandma's Apple Cinnamon Spice is the scented candle I would use to describe your mouth.</strongbad><sfx>Romantic Violin music</sfx></line>
  <line start="814" end="904"><strongbad>And your nose. Like an unscented emergency candle for when the power goes out.</strongbad><sfx>Romantic Violin music</sfx></line>
  <line start="905" end="998" speaker="strongbad">Another way of fancying up a love poem is to replace random letters in the middle of words with apostrophes.</line>
  <line start="999" end="1051" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">"It is never ever over, my lover of clover"</line>
  <line start="1052" end="1066" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">becomes</line>
  <line start="1067" end="1105" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">"'Tis ne'er e'er o'er, m'lo'er o' clo'er".</line>
  <line start="1106" end="1126" speaker="coachz">Now you're sporkin' my language!</line>
  <line start="1127" end="1133" speaker="strongbad">Get out!</line>
  <line start="1134" end="1168" speaker="strongbad">Women love it when you talk all Elizabethan.</line>
  <line start="1169" end="1243" speaker="strongbad">But you shouldn't be afraid to get Kimberlian or Meredithian if the need arises. </line>
  <line start="1244" end="1279" speaker="cheerleader">I can't stand the way Meredith talks!</line>
  <line start="1280" end="1325" speaker="other">I'th hath a cruth on ethry boyth!</line>
  <line start="1326" end="1352" speaker="other">I herly berly on gerly werly!</line>
  <line start="1353" end="1376" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Shakespeared!</line>
  <line start="1377" end="1433"><strongbad>But if that frilly collar stuff is too oldé schoolé for you,</strongbad><sfx volume="0.3">Music</sfx></line>
  <line start="1434" end="1514"><strongbad>then why not try a more contemporary approach with an overweight R'n'B make-out jam?</strongbad><sfx volume="0.4">Music</sfx></line>
  <line start="1515" end="1540"><strongbad>As long as your tone is well-dressed and sweaty enough, it doesn't matter what you say!</strongbad><sfx volume="0.5">Music</sfx></line>
  <line start="1541" end="1551"><strongbad>As long as your tone is well-dressed and sweaty enough, it doesn't matter what you say!</strongbad><sfx volume="0.7">Music</sfx></line>
  <line start="1552" end="1568"><strongbad>As long as your tone is well-dressed and sweaty enough, it doesn't matter what you say!</strongbad><sfx volume="0.8">Music</sfx></line>
  <line start="1569" end="1591"><strongbad>As long as your tone is well-dressed and sweaty enough, it doesn't matter what you say!</strongbad><sfx volume="0.9">Music</sfx></line>
  <line start="1592" end="1643"><tenerence><i>(singing)</i> This is Tenerence Love with a sweaty overweight jam!</tenerence><sfx>Music</sfx></line>
  <line start="1644" end="1701"><tenerence><i>(singing)</i> My name is Tenerence Love with a sweaty overweight ham! </tenerence><sfx>Music</sfx></line>
  <line start="1702" end="1754"><tenerence><i>(singing)</i> It may be five pounds, ten pounds, twenty pounds,</tenerence><sfx>Music</sfx></line>
  <line start="1755" end="1827"><tenerence><i>(singing)</i> just a little bit overweight, now rhythm brother sweaty town!</tenerence><sfx>Music</sfx></line>
  <line start="1828" end="1875" speaker="strongbad">And when that gets you slapped and escorted from her building by security,</line>
  <line start="1876" end="1922" speaker="strongbad">you can always buy a fourteen-pound bag of extra-long—</line>
  <line start="1923" end="1944" speaker="homestar">Ah, ha ha, ha ha!</line>
  <line start="1945" end="1995" speaker="homestar">Oh, Strong Bad. It's funny to me when you try to play grown-up!</line>
  <line start="1996" end="2026" speaker="strongbad">What are you talking about, Marianne?</line>
  <line start="2027" end="2104" speaker="homestar">Everybody knows I'm the only one around here with any real no-arms-on experience with the lady-makes!</line>
  <line start="2105" end="2160" speaker="homestar">Just listen to this little make-out inducing number I threw together this mo'nin'!</line>
  <line start="2161" end="2210" speaker="homestar">This mo'nin'! This mo, re-mo, re-mo-mo'nin'!</line>
  <line start="2211" end="2256" speaker="strongbad">All right, but only 'cause that little song was kind of cool!</line>
  <line start="2257" end="2270" speaker="homestar">Ahem!</line>
  <line start="2275" end="2326"><homestar>M is for milk. The real stuff! Not soy.</homestar><sfx>Romantic Violin music</sfx></line>
  <line start="2327" end="2381"><homestar>A is for not-organic apples. Pesticides ahoy!</homestar><sfx>Romantic Violin music</sfx></line>
  <line start="2382" end="2422"><homestar>R is for raisins, they give me bad gas!</homestar><sfx>Romantic Violin music</sfx></line>
  <line start="2423" end="2464"><homestar>Z is too hard, so at this one, I'll pass.</homestar><sfx>Romantic Violin music</sfx></line>
  <line start="2465" end="2496"><homestar>I is for inchiladas! And—</homestar><sfx>Romantic Violin music</sfx></line>
  <line start="2497" end="2509" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Homestar!</line>
  <line start="2510" end="2522" speaker="homestar">Yeah, what's up?</line>
  <line start="2523" end="2584" speaker="strongbad">That's not a love poem! That is a lavishly produced grocery list!</line>
  <line start="2585" end="2612" speaker="homestar">No, <i>here</i> is my grocery list!</line>
  <line start="2613" end="2660" speaker="homestar">Amazing thing, amazing thing, amazing thing, amazing thing.</line>
  <line start="2661" end="2682" speaker="strongbad">Whoa, where you been shopping?</line>
  <line start="2683" end="2694" speaker="homestar">SkyMall.</line>
  <line start="2695" end="2733" speaker="strongbad">Homestar, are you and Marzipan even dating right now?</line>
  <line start="2734" end="2792" speaker="homestar">Are we even dating <i>(Chuckles)</i> right now? Are we even d— Are we even da—</line>
  <line start="2793" end="2818" speaker="homestar">No, she broke up with me again this morning.</line>
  <line start="2819" end="2834" speaker="strongbad">This <i>morning?</i></line>
  <line start="2835" end="2858" speaker="homestar">Oh, I mean this mo'nin'!</line>
  <line start="2859" end="2893"><homestar>This mo'nin'! This mo, re-mo, re-mo—</homestar><strongbad>This mo'nin'! This mo, re-mo, re-mo—</strongbad></line>
  <line start="2894" end="2932" speaker="strongbad">So there you ha' it, My Homeless Roma'ic.</line>
  <line start="2933" end="2959" speaker="strongbad">Love Poems 101</line>
  <line start="2960" end="2980" speaker="strongbad">Oh the hearts you will win.</line>
  <line start="2981" end="3008" speaker="strongbad">Like this lavender scented plug-in</line>
  <line start="3009" end="3041" speaker="strongbad">New paper, come on and get some!</line>
  <line start="3042" end="3073" speaker="newpaper">Shuffling Noises</line>
  <line start="3075" end="3170" speaker="strongsad">Why isn't he calling me yet on the Strong Badphone? This email was practically tailor made for me!</line>
</transcript>