Subtitles:sbemail199/en

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 16:26, 9 September 2008

HRWiki Subtitles Project

These are the English subtitles for being mean. watch this toon To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome. It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on homestarrunner.com and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer.

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail199.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="16" end="72" speaker="strongbad">I had to pay my doctor just to have this email removed. A-so smooth.</line>
  <line start="72" end="88" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad,</line>
  <line start="88" end="152" speaker="strongbad">"I know you think being mean is fun, but I'm trying to teach my kids that that isn't right.</line>
  <line start="152" end="220" speaker="strongbad">"Can you say something about being nice and point out why being mean isn't always the best choice.</line>
  <line start="220" end="240" speaker="strongbad">"Thanks! Nice Dad."</line>
  <line start="240" end="274" speaker="strongbad">You're coming to <em>me</em> for nice lessons?</line>
  <line start="274" end="328" speaker="strongbad">You expect <em>me</em> to tell your wussy kids that being mean isn't the best choice?</line>
  <line start="328" end="392" speaker="strongbad">I wonder what other gems are in your sent mail outbox.</line> 
  <line start="392" end="401" speaker="sfx">ding</line>
  <line start="401" end="420" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Hungry Shark,</line>
  <line start="420" end="495" speaker="strongbad">"I'm trying to teach my wounded, bleeding sea lions that tearing other creatures apart is not the answer,</line>
  <line start="495" end="522" speaker="strongbad">"and I immediately thought of you!!</line>
  <line start="522" end="552" speaker="strongbad">"Your Pal, Nice Dad."</line>
  <line start="552" end="570" speaker="strongbad">And there's probably one like...</line>
  <line start="570" end="639" speaker="strongbad">"Hey 42 year-old online game playing man-child that still lives with his ex-wife's parents,</line>
  <line start="639" end="660" speaker="strongbad">"It's me, Nice Dad!</line>
  <line start="660" end="709" speaker="strongbad">"The boys need a lesson about responsibility and personal hygiene.</line>
  <line start="709" end="768" speaker="strongbad">"Got time to stop by tonight between Goblin Keep Sieges?  -N.D."</line>
  <line start="768" end="815" speaker="strongbad">The only time I know of when being mean isn't the best choice</line>
  <line start="815" end="868" speaker="strongbad">is when someone nearby is holding a really tall ice cream cone.</line> 
  <line start="868" end="925" speaker="strongbad">Hey wow, Homestar. That's a great same-shirt-you-always-wear you have on today.</line>
  <line start="925" end="956" speaker="homestar">Thanks, Strong Bad. Did you want some of my...</line>
  <line start="956" end="983"><homestar>OW!</homestar><sfx>splat</sfx><strongbad>Wahahahaha!</strongbad></line>
  <line start="983" end="1017" speaker="strongbad">Oh, wait. Being mean is the best choice there too.</line>
  <line start="1017" end="1058" speaker="strongbad">Look, this is clearly not a job for me Nice Dad.</line>
  <line start="1058" end="1083" speaker="strongbad">(translation: Uncool Dad)</line>
  <line start="1083" end="1162" speaker="strongbad">When it comes to teaching kids about behavior and choices and various other words from parenting books,</line>
  <line start="1162" end="1196" speaker="strongbad">there's only one place to look for answers,</line>  
  <line start="1196" end="1222" speaker="strongbad">the Drama Club!</line>
  <line start="1222" end="1237" speaker="kingoftown">Listen up, class.</line>
  <line start="1237" end="1295" speaker="kingoftown">Instead of watching me doze off for the last ten minutes like we usually do,</line>
  <line start="1295" end="1330" speaker="kingoftown">I've got a special treat for you all today.</line>
  <line start="1330" end="1390" speaker="kingoftown">The drama club is going to perform a state-required skit about being nice,</line>
  <line start="1390" end="1425" speaker="kingoftown">so we can avoid losing our accreditation!</line>
  <line start="1426" end="1444" speaker="kingoftown">Now, give it up...</line>
  <line start="1444" end="1494" speaker="kingoftown">for Coach Z's Nicetown Players!</line>
  <line start="1495" end="1507"><sfx>two claps</sfx><strongbad voiceover="yes" volume="0.8">You suck.</strongbad></line>
  <line start="1508" end="1578" speaker="coachz">Oh, man. What a great pratty. I wonder what kid's house this is.</line>
  <line start="1578" end="1651" speaker="marzipan">I wonder if he likes me. Will I make the team? I wish my parents would stop fighting.</line>
  <line start="1651" end="1685" speaker="strongmad">IS THIS MY CUE?</line>
  <line start="1685" end="1732" speaker="coachz">Hey, Pants Pull-Upper! Nice pulled-up... pants!</line>
  <line start="1732" end="1772" speaker="marzipan"> I shouldn't laugh, but I want to fit in.</line>    <line start="1772" end="1795" speaker="marzipan">Good one, Head Male Cheerleader!</line>
  <line start="1795" end="1809" speaker="strongmad">BOO-HOO-HOO-HOO...</line>
  <line start="1809" end="1873" speaker="coachz">My parents' room is out of town in my car. Wanna go park out?</line>
  <line start="1873" end="1898" speaker="marzipan">But what about that poor nerd?</line>
  <line start="1898" end="1924" speaker="coachz">Ah, who cares about...</line>
  <line start="1924" end="1953"><strongmad sfx="sfx">angry grunt</strongmad><marzipan sfx="sfx">scream</marzipan></line>
  <line start="1965" end="1986"><coachz volume="0.7">Ow... stop... quit it...</coachz><strongmad sfx="sfx" volume="0.7">laugh</strongmad></line>
  <line start="1986" end="2045" speaker="marzipan">This is why be'sing mean is not always the best choice.</line>
  <line start="2045" end="2078"><coachz>Drap it!</coachz><sfx>rap beat</sfx></line>
  <line start="2078" end="2111" speaker="coachz">Now being mean ain't the greatest choice!</line>
  <line start="2111" end="2138"><coachz>My name's Coach Z and I—</coachz><kingoftown>Aaaand we've run out of time.</kingoftown></line>
  <line start="2138" end="2150"><strongbad voiceover="yes" volume="0.8">You suck.</strongbad></line>
  <line start="2150" end="2178" speaker="strongbad">See how lame that was Nice Dad?</line>
  <line start="2178" end="2264" speaker="strongbad">I'm sure your kids could learn all sorts of crap-kicked-out-of-them lessons from superbly acted dramatizations like that.</line>
  <line start="2264" end="2287" speaker="strongbad">But don't take it from me,</line>
  <line start="2287" end="2344" speaker="strongbad">let's hear from our resident parenting expert, Hungry Shark.</line>
  <line start="2344" end="2403" speaker="other">Sometimes the taste of blood in the water is just so sweet, makes me wanna...</line>
  <line start="2403" end="2444" speaker="other">I just gon... uh, I'm gonna eat your kids.</line>
  <line start="2444" end="2477" speaker="newpaper">shuffling noises</line>
  <line start="2479" end="2520"><coachz>Drap it!</coachz><sfx>rap beat</sfx></line>
  <line start="2520" end="2553" speaker="coachz">Now being mean ain't the greatest choice!</line>
  <line start="2553" end="2586" speaker="coachz">My name's Coach Z and I like to get noice!</line>
  <line start="2586" end="2610" speaker="coachz">If you don't believe me, listen to my voice;</line>
  <line start="2610" end="2654" speaker="coachz">I'll tell ya why being nice is the greatest choice! </line>
</transcript>