Teen Girl Squad Issue 12

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*One of the plaques by Mindy's portrait reads "1984-[[1987]]".
*One of the plaques by Mindy's portrait reads "1984-[[1987]]".
*This is the first Teen Girl Squad to use the modified [[Lowercase i's|I]] in Strong Bad's [[Fonts|font]].
*This is the first Teen Girl Squad to use the modified capital [[Lowercase i's|I]] in Strong Bad's [[Fonts|font]].

Revision as of 03:27, 10 March 2007

Teen Girl Squad Issue #12
watch Issue 11 Issue 1

The Teen Girl Squad celebrates "Vamlumtime's Day", in glorious red pen style!

Cast (in order of appearance): Cheerleader, So and So, What's Her Face, The Ugly One, Patchbeard, Mrs. Embalmo, Arrow'd Guy, Tines Racer, Mindy, Strong Bad Robot, Class Prez, Wireless Wizard, The USB Dongle Goblin, D N'D Greg, (Easter egg) Science Fiction Greg (Easter egg)

Places: The School, Mindy's Shrine

Date: February 12, 2007

Running Time: 3:20

Page Title: Vamlumtimes Day!



{The traditional "teen girl squad" title page appears, with "issue 12" in the upper-left hand corner and "by: strong bad" in the lower-right. Nearly the entire toon is drawn in red ink.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Teen Girl Squad! Cheerleader! {red undies!} So and So! {whitman's sampler!} What's Her Face! {black roses!} The Ugly One! {pink eye!}

{The four teen girls are standing together.}

CHEERLEADER: Two, three, four... {all four girls begin dancing and clapping} What time is it?

SO AND SO: {simultaneously} -tines!

CHEERLEADER: What time is it?

SO AND SO: {simultaneously} -tines!

CHEERLEADER: What we gonna get?


CHEERLEADER: How we gonna get 'em?

{Everyone stops dancing. Cheerleader folds her arms and glares, and the other three girls assume nervous, thinking poses.}


{Close-up of So and So, with a forked tongue}

SO AND SO: mock U.N. medals?

{Close-up of What's Her Face}

WHAT'S HER FACE: Wearing unflattering clothing?

{Cut back to all four girls.}

THE UGLY ONE: Voodoo? Is it voodoo?

{Close-up of The Ugly One, who has a furrowed brow and is sticking pins into a doll of Arrow'd Guy.}


{Cut back to all four girls.}

CHEERLEADER: You three are adorable. Maybe I'll come visit you at the convent or library someday.

SO AND SO: {leaps in the air} You'll find me in the reference section!!!

{Cut to a close-up of Cheerleader screaming at a frightened So and So.}

CHEERLEADER: Shut yer plaid skirted face! Here comes a boy!

{Zoom out to Cheerleader, So and So, and The Ugly One standing in front of lockers. A bespectacled boy with freckles, patchy facial hair, and a glum expression approaches with his hands in his pockets.}

CHEERLEADER: Hi there, patchbeard, I betcha never get carded with a mossy chin like that.

{The boy bends on one knee and holds up a valentine. Cheerleader smiles from ear to ear.}

PATCHBEARD: {in a gravelly voice} You're blond and you acknowledged my facial stubbery. Will you be my valentine?

{Close-up of Cheerleader, who holds up the valentine triumphantly.}

CHEERLEADER: Yesss! Now get outta here Peter Puberty. Mama's got bigger fish to fry.

{Cheerleader clubs the boy over the head, knocking his glasses off.}


{Two boys approach What's Her Face.}

BOY 1: {speaking to Boy 2} Band name. Band name. Band name. Band name.

WHAT'S HER FACE: Uh, hi. I like music. And um... cloth.

{What's Her Face hangs her head in sadness.}

BOY 2: {speaking to Boy 1} Did that dude just tell you she likes cloth?

BOY 1: "She likes cloth" — that's a good band name.

{A transition slide of a hairy, muscled, bare chest with a necklace reading "meanwhile" appears.}

{Cheerleader clubs a football with a face, legs, and arms as she holds its valentine. Several unconscious football-men lie to one side of her and a pile of valentines lies on her other side.}


CHEERLEADER: {speaking to The Ugly One} I got valentime cards from every football player except one!

THE UGLY ONE: I got cards from every lunchlady except one!

{Cut to The Ugly One holding a tray in front of a cafeteria bar with a cobwebbed skeleton wearing a hair net standing behind it. A creaking noise is heard.}

THE UGLY ONE: Excuse me, Mrs. Embalmo...

{The Arrow'd Guy knocks the skeleton aside as he stabs a voodoo doll of The Ugly One with pins. Pins also stick out of The Ugly One herself.}


THE UGLY ONE: Owww! My the fact that I was alive a second ago!

{So and So, Cheerleader, and What's Her Face stand next to The Ugly One's body.}

SO AND SO: I'll notify her next of... uh... fruit cup. {holds up a fruit cup and cries} I'm so sorry to have to tell you this...

CHEERLEADER: {angrily} Stop talking to fruit! Valentimes is serious times!

SO AND SO: {annoyed} -tines.

{Zoom in on Cheerleader, who glares angrily with her hands on her hips.}


{Zoom out to all three remaining girls.}

SO AND SO: {shouting so loud her mouth is shaped like a heart} Valen-TINES!! T-I-N—

{Cut to a fork with a face driving a Tines race car.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: {imitating the sound of a car engine} TINES! TINES! TINES!

{The Tines car comes closer and closer until it runs over So and So.}


{Cut to Cheerleader and What's Her Face standing and talking next to So and So's body, which is covered with black skid marks.}

CHEERLEADER: As I was saying, Vamlumtime's Day is serious times. If I don't get cards from enough boys, I could lose all my Mindy cred.

{Cut to four girls prostrating in front of a portrait of Mindy surrounded by burning candles and plaques reading "mindy", "chief cheerleader", and "1984-1987".}

FOUR GIRLS: {bowing and chanting} Mindy! Mindy!

{Cut back to Cheerleader.}

CHEERLEADER: It's time to resort to plan... {holds up a cell phone reading "txtorz"} TXT!!

{Zoom out to a robot dancing in front of Cheerleader, with Strong Bad's Face on it}


{Zoom in on Cheerleader sending a text message with a poster of the class president in the background.}

CHEERLEADER: {text messaging} Hy, Clas Prez! Cn i B Yr VLNT9?

{Pan to the class president, standing on the other side of his poster, holding a phone made out of crackers with a bite taken out of it}

CLASS PREZ: {text messaging} Def. U R A ttl haw-T.

{Pan back to Cheerleader.}

CHEERLEADER: {text messaging} U ROOL! <B >KO)->

{Zoom out to the two of them as the class president speaks to Cheerleader, who is still furiously typing on her cell phone.}

CLASS PREZ: Whattaya mean I'm less than B?

{An angry wizard appears in a cloud of smoke and surprises the two of them.}


{Zoom in on the wizard.}

WIRELESS WIZARD: {pointing} Texting from a few feet away? FOR SHAME!

{Zoom out to the wizard holding up Cheerleader's cell phone next to her.}

WIRELESS WIZARD: And what's this other text mess? {the characters ">KO)->" appear from the cell phone.}

CHEERLEADER: {nervously} That's a frontways Cupid.

WIRELESS WIZARD: {inspects cell phone} Looks more like a USB dongle goblin!

{Cut to a goblin, flying in from the sky.}


{The goblin cuts the class president in two and decapitates Cheerleader.}



{Cut to the wizard speaking to What's Her Face, who turns her head around in surprise.}

WIRELESS WIZARD: Say, baby, uh... you wanna go find a remote access point with me?

WHAT'S HER FACE: FULL BARS!!!! {The heights of the exclamation points decrease, making them look similar to a signal indicator with full bars.}

{Cut to the wizard carrying What's Her Face on a flying wireless router as hearts rise from them and the robot dances in the background.}


WIRELESS WIZARD: Soooo... you like cloth?

{The "it's over!" screen appears, with the "back" button in the lower-left hand corner and the "again" button in the lower-right.}


Easter Eggs

"That's a good band name."
  • Click on "she likes cloth" (the second time) to see a CD cover.
  • At the end, click on the "i" for a USB dongle goblin vamlumtimes card.
  • At the end, click on the "o" for a scene with Science Fiction Greg and D'N'D Greg.
    SCI-FI GREG: If we cannot claim her heart, at least she's in the arms of a truly worthy adversary.
    D'N'D GREG: Sometimes...wizards are so awesome...it hurts.
  • At the end, click on the "!" for a scene with Mindy and three other cheerleaders.
    MINDY: Okay, gals, let's get ready to...
    THREE OTHER CHEERLEADERS: Gag me with a spoon!!

Fun Facts


  • Being "carded" refers to being asked for identification proving age in order to, for instance, purchase alcohol.
  • USB (Universal Serial Bus) is a standard interface for connecting peripherals to computers.
  • A dongle is a device that connects to a computer for one of several specific purposes. These uses include adapting one type of port to another, providing security authentication for software, or facilitating wireless communication between the computer and other devices.
  • A USB hub allows multiple devices to attach to a single USB port.
  • Mrs. Embalmo's name is a reference to embalming, a process by which a body is preserved for burial.
  • The ends of a fork are called "tines".
  • "Mindy cred" is a reference to "indie cred," or credibility in the independent music/movie scene.
  • Cheerleader's shirt in the cartoon would be read as "Who heart-ed?", a parody of the popular t-shirt phrase "Who farted?"
  • Pink eye is an eye inflammation.
  • 'Bad Juju' is a mocking reference to voodoo and superstitions.
  • 'Full bars' is a reference to having good mobile phone (or wireless signal) reception (and thus having "full bars" shown on the phone's display).
  • The object the Wireless Wizard is flying on is a wireless router.
  • U.N. stands for United Nations.


  • One of the plaques by Mindy's portrait reads "1984-1987".
  • This is the first Teen Girl Squad to use the modified capital I in Strong Bad's font.


Delayed disappearing text? FOR SHAME!
  • The text from Cheerleader's shirt stays on screen for one frame after the cut to the Wireless Wizard's face.

Fixed Goofs

  • When the toon was released, in the intro, Cheerleader's name was not written with her picture. This was fixed shortly afterwards.

Inside References

Real-World References

  • Whitman's Sampler is a popular assortment of chocolates.
  • Cheerleader's phone resembles a Danger Sidekick, LG The V or enV, a phone with a full QWERTY keyboard intended for use with text messaging.
  • Class Prez's phone model, "CRKR" (short for "Cracker"), is a play on four-letter Motorola cellular phone models such as the ROKR and the RAZR.
  • The Technological Romance robot sings in a tune similar to the song "Technologic" by Daft Punk.
  • "Gag me with a spoon!!" was a popular 1980s catchphrase, commonly associated with cheerleaders and other "Valley Girl" stereotypes, roughly meaning "Gross!".

External Links

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