Teen Girl Squad Issue 12

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Teen Girl Squad Issue #12
watch Issue 11 Issue 13
"What we gonna get?"

The Teen Girl Squad celebrates "Vamlumtime's Day", in glorious red pen style!

Cast (in order of appearance): Cheerleader, So and So, What's Her Face, The Ugly One, Patchbeard, Band Name Boys, Mrs. Embalmo, Arrow'd Guy, Tines Racer, Mindy, Strong Bad Robot, Class Prez, Wireless Wizard, The USB Dongle Goblin, D N'D Greg (Easter egg), Science Fiction Greg (Easter egg)

Places: The School, Mindy's Shrine

Date: Monday, February 12, 2007

Running Time: 3:20

Page Title: Vamlumtimes Day!

DVD: Everything Else, Volume 3



{The traditional "teen girl squad" title page appears, with "issue 12" in the upper-left hand corner and "by: strong bad" in the lower-right. Nearly the entire toon is drawn in red ink.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Teen Girl Squad! Cheerleader! {red undies!} So and So! {whitman's sampler!} What's Her Face! {black roses!} The Ugly One! {pink eye!}

{The four teen girls are standing together.}

CHEERLEADER: Two, three, four... {all four girls begin dancing and clapping} What time is it?

{The girls jump into the air. This is repeated until Cheerleader asks how to get several boys.}

SO AND SO: {simultaneously, looking at Cheerleader strangely} -tines!

CHEERLEADER: What time is it?

SO AND SO: {simultaneously, looks at Cheerleader again} -tines!

CHEERLEADER: What we gonna get?


CHEERLEADER: How we gonna get 'em?

{Everyone stops dancing. Cheerleader folds her arms and glares, and the other three girls assume nervous, thinking poses.}


{Close-up of So and So, with a forked tongue}

SO AND SO: Mock U.N. medals?

{Close-up of What's Her Face}

WHAT'S HER FACE: Wearing unflattering clothing?

{Cut back to all four girls.}

THE UGLY ONE: Voodoo? Is it voodoo?

{Close-up of The Ugly One, who has a furrowed brow and is sticking pins into a doll of Arrow'd Guy.}


{Cut back to all four girls.}

CHEERLEADER: You three are adorable. Maybe I'll come visit you at the convent or library someday.

SO AND SO: {leaps in the air} You'll find me in the reference section!!!

{Cut to a close-up of Cheerleader screaming at a frightened So and So.}

CHEERLEADER: Shut yer plaid skirted face! Here comes a boy!

{Zoom out to Cheerleader, So and So, and The Ugly One standing in front of lockers. A bespectacled boy with freckles, patchy facial hair, and a glum expression approaches with his hands in his pockets.}

CHEERLEADER: Hi there, patchbeard, I betcha never get carded with a mossy chin like that.

{The boy bends on one knee and holds up a valentine. Cheerleader smiles from ear to ear.}

PATCHBEARD: {in a gravelly voice} You're blond and you acknowledged my facial stubbery. Will you be my valentine?

{Close-up of Cheerleader, who holds up the valentine triumphantly.}

CHEERLEADER: Yesss! Now get outta here Peter Puberty. Mama's got bigger fish to fry.

{Cheerleader clubs the boy over the head, knocking his glasses off.}


{Two boys approach What's Her Face.}

BOY 1: {speaking to Boy 2} Band name. Band name. Band name. Band name.

WHAT'S HER FACE: Uh, hi. I like music. And um... cloth.

{What's Her Face hangs her head in sadness.}

BOY 2: {speaking to Boy 1} Did that dude just tell you she likes cloth?

BOY 1: "She likes cloth" — that's a good band name.

{A transition slide of a hairy, muscled, bare chest with a necklace reading "meanwhile" appears.}

{Cheerleader clubs a football with a face, legs, and arms as she holds its valentine. Several unconscious football-men lie to one side of her and a pile of valentines lies on her other side.}


CHEERLEADER: {speaking to The Ugly One} I got valentime cards from every football player except one!

THE UGLY ONE: I got cards from every lunchlady except one!

{Cut to The Ugly One holding a tray in front of a cafeteria bar with a cobwebbed skeleton wearing a hair net standing behind it. A creaking noise is heard.}

THE UGLY ONE: Excuse me, Mrs. Embalmo...

{The Arrow'd Guy knocks the skeleton aside as he stabs a voodoo doll of The Ugly One with pins. Pins also stick out of The Ugly One herself.}


THE UGLY ONE: Owww! My the fact that I was alive a second ago!

{So and So, Cheerleader, and What's Her Face stand next to The Ugly One's body.}

SO AND SO: I'll notify her next of... uh... fruit cup. {holds up a fruit cup and cries} I'm so sorry to have to tell you this...

CHEERLEADER: {angrily} Stop talking to fruit! Valentimes is serious times!

SO AND SO: {annoyed} -tines.

{Zoom in on Cheerleader, who glares angrily with her hands on her hips.}


{Zoom out to all three remaining girls.}

SO AND SO: {shouting so loud her mouth is shaped like a heart} Valen-TINES!! T-I-N—

{Cut to a fork with a face driving a Tines race car.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: {imitating the sound of a car engine} TINES! TINES! TINES!

{The Tines car comes closer and closer until it runs over So and So.}


{Cut to Cheerleader and What's Her Face standing and talking next to So and So's body, which is covered with black skid marks.}

CHEERLEADER: As I was saying, Vamlumtime's Day is serious times. If I don't get cards from enough boys, I could lose all my Mindy cred.

{Cut to four girls prostrating in front of a portrait of Mindy surrounded by burning candles and plaques reading "mindy", "chief cheerleader", and "1984-1987".}

FOUR GIRLS: {bowing and chanting} Mindy! Mindy!

{Cut back to Cheerleader.}

CHEERLEADER: It's time to resort to plan... {holds up a cell phone reading "txtorz"} TXT!!

{Zoom out to a robot dancing in front of Cheerleader, with Strong Bad's Face on it}


{Zoom in on Cheerleader sending a text message with a poster of the class president in the background.}

CHEERLEADER: {text messaging} Hy, Clas Prez! Cn i B Yr VLNT9? {Pronounced as "valent-nine"}

{Pan to the class president, standing on the other side of his poster, holding a phone made out of crackers with a bite taken out of it}

CLASS PREZ: {text messaging} Def. U R A ttl haw-T.

{Pan back to Cheerleader.}

CHEERLEADER: {text messaging} U ROOL! <B >KO)->

{Zoom out to the two of them as the class president speaks to Cheerleader, who is still furiously typing on her cell phone.}

CLASS PREZ: Whattaya mean I'm less than B?

{An angry wizard appears in a cloud of smoke and surprises the two of them.}


{Zoom in on the wizard.}

WIRELESS WIZARD: {pointing} Texting from a few feet away? FOR SHAME!

{Zoom out to the wizard holding up Cheerleader's cell phone next to her.}

WIRELESS WIZARD: And what's this other text mess? {the characters ">KO)->" appear from the cell phone.}

CHEERLEADER: {nervously} That's a frontways Cupid.

WIRELESS WIZARD: {inspects cell phone} Looks more like a USB dongle goblin!

{Cut to a goblin, flying in from the sky.}


{The goblin cuts the class president in two and decapitates Cheerleader.}



{Cut to the wizard speaking to What's Her Face, who turns her head around in surprise.}

WIRELESS WIZARD: Say, baby, uh... you wanna go find a remote access point with me?

WHAT'S HER FACE: FULL BARS!!!! {The heights of the exclamation points decrease, making them look similar to a signal indicator with full bars.}

{Cut to the wizard carrying What's Her Face on a flying wireless router as hearts rise from them and the robot dances in the background.}


WIRELESS WIZARD: Soooo... you like cloth?

{The "it's over!" screen appears, with the "back" button in the lower-left hand corner and the "again" button in the lower-right.}


Easter Eggs

"That's a good band name."
  • Click on "she likes cloth" (the second time) to see a CD cover.
  • At the end, click on the "i" for a USB dongle goblin vamlumtimes card. The front has a picture of a smiling dongle goblin with the words
here i come!

The inside cover has three hearts below the words

i'm gonna give
you a big

The inside has a picture of an angry dongle goblin, with the words


from the USB
dongle goblin
  • At the end, click on the "o" for a scene with Science Fiction Greg and D N'D Greg, as they watch What's Her Face fly away with the wizard.
SCI-FI GREG: If we cannot claim her heart, at least she's in the arms of a truly worthy adversary.
D N'D GREG: Sometimes...wizards are so awesome...it hurts.
  • At the end, click on the "!" for a scene with Mindy and three other cheerleaders.
MINDY: Okay, gals, let's get ready to...
THREE OTHER CHEERLEADERS: Gag me with a spoon!!

Fun Facts


  • Being "carded" refers to being asked for identification proving age in order to, for instance, purchase alcohol.
  • USB (Universal Serial Bus) is a standard interface for connecting peripherals to computers.
  • A dongle is a device that connects to a computer for one of several specific purposes. These uses include adapting one type of port to another, providing security authentication for software, or facilitating wireless communication between the computer and other devices.
  • A USB hub allows multiple devices to attach to a single USB port.
  • Mrs. Embalmo's name is a reference to embalming, a process by which a body is preserved for burial.
  • "Mindy cred" is a reference to "indie cred," or credibility in the independent music/movie scene.
  • Cheerleader's shirt in the cartoon would be read as "Who heart-ed?", a parody of the popular t-shirt phrase "Who farted?"
  • Pink eye is an eye inflammation.
  • "Bad Juju" is a mocking reference to voodoo and superstitions.
  • "Full bars" is a reference to having good mobile phone (or wireless signal) reception (and thus having "full bars" shown on the phone's display).
  • The object the Wireless Wizard is flying on is a wireless router.
  • U.N. stands for United Nations.
  • When the class prez asks what Cheerleader means by saying he is "less than B", he is referring to Cheerleader's failure to type the right text for a heart. The correct way is "<3".
  • The points of a fork are called "tines".
  • When Cheerleader asks So and So "What?" her question is surrounded by asterisks, as is often used in scripts to show emphasis.
  • "Mock U.N." likely refers to two high school clubs: Model UN and Mock Trial.


  • One of the plaques by Mindy's portrait reads "1984-1987".
  • This is the first Teen Girl Squad to use the modified capital I in Strong Bad's font, yet sometimes the regular style that looks like lowercase i's is still used.
  • This issue has the most Easter Eggs of any Teen Girl Squad issue.


Text from one frame ago? FOR SHAME!
  • The text from Cheerleader's shirt stays on screen for one frame after the cut to the Wireless Wizard's face.
  • When Boys 1 and 2 appear, Boy 1 has one particular voice. Boy 2 comes in with a different voice. Then Boy 1 responds with Boy 2's voice.

Fixed Goofs

  • When the toon was released, in the intro, Cheerleader's name was not written with her picture. This was fixed shortly afterwards.


  • The notebook paper in the frame of the toon and outside of the frame do not match up.

Inside References

Real-World References

  • Whitman's Sampler is a popular assortment of chocolates.
  • Cheerleader's phone resembles a Danger Sidekick, LG The V or enV, a phone with a full QWERTY keyboard intended for use with text messaging.
  • Class Prez's phone model, "CRKR" (short for "Cracker"), is a play on the Motorola cellular phone KRZR. The name itself is also a play on the recent naming of cell phones after foods like the LG Chocolate and the BlackBerry. This could also explain why Class Prez's phone has a bite taken out of it.
  • "Gag me with a spoon!!" was a popular 1980s catchphrase, commonly associated with cheerleaders and other "Valley Girl" stereotypes, used to indicate disgust or disapproval.

Fast Forward

  • "she likes cloth" is later revealed to have written a song performed in both a car commercial and in Pom Pom's indie film.

DVD Version

  • The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Mike Chapman, Matt Chapman, Ryan Sterritt)

MATT: All right, Mike's in the— Mike's in the bathroom so Ryan and I are takin' this one— takin' this one so— solo? Duo?

RYAN: A, uh— a duo. A duplex.

MATT: {laughing} Were you on the step squad in high school, Ryan?

RYAN: I was. All through college, actually, as well.

MATT: {laughs}

RYAN: We'd meet in front of Moore Auditorium.

MATT: Nice. Do a little somethin' around lunchtime?

RYAN: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

RYAN: Is this the only one that's red?

MATT: Yeah, it's a special Valentine's color. Uh, well, you know, the 10th one's in color, but it's not red.

RYAN: Full color.

MATT: Yeah. This was written with the teacher's pen, Ryan.

RYAN: {laughs}

MATT: {laughing} It's the teacher's edition of Teen Girl Squad. That kid looks like Harry Potter, I think.

RYAN: It does.

MATT: He looks kind of like a rough... Daniel Radcliffe.

MIKE: Wait, did you guys start without me!?

MATT: Oh! What? No! What's up, Mark?

MIKE: What!? {pause} I was, uh... trying to— Are we going to have a gimmick for this commentary?

MATT: Uh, starting now. Look at those guys.

MIKE: One of 'em— The guy on the left kind of looks like Billy from Family Circus.

MATT: {laughing} He does!

MIKE: Like an old—

MATT: Or PJ, even.

MIKE: Yeah, PJ. Maybe that's who he looks like. {pause} What was your band name in high school, Ryan?

RYAN: Uh, Ardin.

MATT: Ardin!

MIKE: Ardin! We were— Matt and I were in a band called Grimace. {pause} And Mary Buttonhead.

MATT: Yeah, don't forget Mary Buttonhead.

MIKE: Matt was in one called Negative Zero.

MATT: Yeah.

MIKE: What else?

MATT: {unintelligible}

MIKE: Oh, yeah.

RYAN: I think Kevin's was Wit's End.

MIKE: Really?

MATT: Nice.

RYAN: That's a good one.

MATT: Mrs. Ebalmo, um... is terrifying, I think. I like how she's creaking.

MIKE: {laughs} Have you ever had to deliver any bad news to a fruit cup, Ryan?

MATT: {laughs}

MIKE: It's really awkward. They don't take it well!

MATT: Oh, here comes the Formula 1— the famous Formula 1 fork racer! {laughs}

MIKE: Why does she have three little... arrows coming down from the word cloud?

MATT: Oh, Mindy.

RYAN: She was three?

MATT: She was the cheap cheerleader {unintelligible}

MIKE: Uh, there was a... our friend, Rusty, got me a book one time called "Programmed For Love". It was like a... junior high romance novel that was from the early 80s.

MATT: Had a robot in it?

MIKE: No, but it was, like... computer based. It was all the technology in the early 80s. Reminds me—

MATT: The Class Prez has some Birkenstocks on, looks like.

RYAN: Have you ever owned any Birkenstocks?

MATT: I have not. Did you?

MIKE: Did you ever have a pair?

RYAN: I didn't. My mom—

MIKE: Tevas, maybe?

RYAN: Tivo

MIKE: {laughs}

RYAN: I've used Tivo.

MIKE: What about Doc Martens?

MATT: I never had a pair.

MIKE: I never had a pair.

RYAN: I may have had one, but it was way late in the game.

MATT: I was a Chuck Taylor man all the time.

RYAN: They were pricey.

MATT: Yeah, that was the main thing. I was like, I'm not shelling out a hundred bucks for these.

RYAN: I like that the Chucks came in one in style, so if you kept wearin' 'em, you were going to be cool at least—

MIKE: Yeah, you can't go wrong.

MATT: {unintelligible} wrap-around.

Fun Facts

  • The Family Circus is a comic strip created and written by cartoonist Bil Keane. Billy and PJ are two of the children depicted in the strip.
  • Harry Potter is the titular character and main protagonist in a fantasy series by J.K. Rowling about a boy who discovers by his eleventh birthday that he is a wizard and attends Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to learn magic, under the guidance of the kindly headmaster Albus Dumbledore.
  • Formula 1, abbreviated to F1, and in modern times also known as Grand Prix motor racing, is the highest class of open wheeled auto racing defined by the Fédération Internationale de l'Automobile, motorsport world's governing body. The "formula" in the name refers to a set of rules to which all participants and cars must conform.
  • Birkenstock is a German brand of sandals and other shoes, notable for their contoured cork and rubber footbeds, which conform somewhat to the shape of their wearers' feet.
  • Teva could refer to either Teva Naot, an Israeli brand of shoes and sandals sold mainly outside Israel, or Teva sandals, an American brand of sport sandals.
  • "Doc Martens" is one of the nicknames for Dr. Martens, a footwear, clothing and accessories brand.
  • TiVo is a brand of digital video recorder in the United States, Canada, and Australia. It is a consumer video device that captures television programming to hard disk storage for later viewing.
  • Matt claims that his favorite shoes are Chuck Taylor All-Stars.

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