Teen Girl Squad Issue 8

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Revision as of 16:30, 19 January 2005

Our "heroines" meet So and So's stepmom.

The girls join the Battle of the Bands.

Cast (in order of appearance): Cheerleader, So and So, What's Her Face, The Ugly One, Intercom, Tompkins, The Man with the Huge Mouth/Mrs. So-and-so-erson, Pom Pom, Fatty's Big Chance, Strong Bad (easter egg)

Page Title: Soopa Groop

Date: January 17, 2005

Transcript

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Teen Girl Squad! Cheerleader! {top 40 hits!} So and So! {hooked on classics!} What's Her Face! {college radio!} The Ugly One! {listens to pine bark!}

{The girls are sitting at their desks in class. What's Her Face's desk has no legs.}

INTERCOM: And lunch today will be a breadtangle of pizza. Don't forget the battle of the bands this Friday. Tompkins, point your rear end in the direction of the principal's office.

TOMPKINS: {offscreen} Awww, peas!

CHEERLEADER: Y'hear that girls??

WHAT'S HER FACE: Pizza belongs in a triangle!

SO AND SO: {hearts over head and drooling awkwardly} That Tompkins is SUCH a renegade!

CHEERLEADER: {inexplicably drawn wearing a derby, sunglasses, a moustache, a tie, and smoking a cigar} No yous guys! The battle of the bands! {back to normal} We can form a band and become...

ALL: WORLDWIDE STARLETS!!

THE UGLY ONE: Worldwide starlets get much boys!

CHEERLEADER: Or so I have read. Obviously, I'll sing and pretend to play guitar.

WHAT'S HER FACE: Can I not get stuck playing bass?

CHEERLEADER, SO AND SO and THE UGLY ONE: NO WAY!!

SO AND SO: We'll be called "Smartly Pretty".

{we are shown a CD case with "Smartly Pretty" written in pseudo-mathematical notation}

CHEERLEADER: {vomits} Augh! Bleh! Ewww! Grugh! {suddenly sotto voce} No. {cheerfully} We're called "Kissy Boots"!

{a CD case which says "Kissy Boots" and features a huge pair of lips with cowboy boots is shown}

SO AND SO: We can practice after school in my step-mom's walk-in closet!

{Cut to an image of a man carrying a rock that reads...}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: After school!

{Cut to So and So's step-mom's walk-in closet, as evidenced by a large rack of clothes.}

CHEERLEADER: Your step mom has questionable taste.

WHAT'S HER FACE: And like a million jogging suits.

{So and So's step-mother appears from behind the clothes rack. "She" appears to be The Man with the Huge Mouth.}

SO AND SO'S STEP-MOM: YOU LITTLE BRATS BEST SHUT YER YAPS!!!

CHEERLEADER: Yes Mrs. So-and-so... -erson.

{Mrs. So-and-so-erson vanishes. The girls' instruments appear.}

SO AND SO: Count us off, The Ugly One.

THE UGLY ONE: One, two, three and a four.

CHEERLEADER: {singing as the other girls play} Ooncha ooncha! One, two, three-cha! We're Kissy Boots and it's nice to meetcha! Ooncha ooncha! One, two, three-cha! Gonna get a breadtangle of pizza!

THE UGLY ONE: 16 hour drum solo!

{She starts playing the drums and scatting along, until a large floor tom eats her head.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: FLOOR TOMMED!!!! {Mrs. So-and-so-erson returns and pours "Ranch Dress" over The Ugly One and the floor tom} STEP-MOMMED!!! {Cut to a romantic dinner setting where The Ugly One, with the drum still engulfing her head, stands opposite Pom Pom, who holds a single rose.} POM-POMMED??

{Cut to a huge mouth with "BATTLE OF THE BANDS!!!" written on its teeth.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: BATTLE OF THE BANDS!!!

{Cut to the school auditorium, where the Intercom (mounted on a robot body) stands on stage with a microphone, and a handful of stick-figure heads compose the audience.}

INTERCOM: Alright, give it up for "Fatty's Big Chance."

{A large man, presumably Fatty, with a saxophone and checkerboard pants appears from stage right.}

FATTY: Pick it up! Pick it up! Hup! Hup! Pick it up! Pick it up!

{Fatty vanishes.}

INTERCOM: Next up is "Kissyboots".

{Cut to Cheerleader and What's Her Face, probably back stage. Cheerleader holds a heart-shaped guitar with three necks and What's Her Face has a bass.}

CHEERLEADER: Where is So and So? We can't play the hits without her!

{Cut to So and So in a dressing room. Her hair is dyed black and she wears a black t-shirt with Strong Sad's face on it and heavy black makeup.}

SO AND SO: I'm going with that gloomy keyboardist look I keep hearing about!

{A group of goblins enter the dressing room.}

GOBLIN: KRA'AGH! KLEET'OH BRANGH CHE'EKOH TAGHQ?

SO AND SO: My autograph? Why sure!

{A huge twenty-sided die lands on her from above.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: TWELVE SIDED DIED!! {without text} Whoa, that's rough.

{Back in the auditorium, Cheerleader and What's Her Face are the only ones on stage.}

CHEERLEADER: I'm Kissyboots and she plays bass. One, two, three, and a four!

{They start playing. What's Her Face's guitar suddenly turns into a shark.}

WHAT'S HER FACE: My bass feels seaworthy.

{The shark eats the entire upper half of What's Her Face in one JGHOWMP!}

WHAT'S HER FACE: OW! My most of me!!

CHEERLEADER: {indicating the shark} Dis my new backup band... a shark. One, two, three, and a four!

{Cut to the end title which reads "it's over!". Cheerleader sings over it and the lyrics are shown at the top of the screen.}

CHEERLEADER: It's over! It's over! Strong Bad says it's over! It's over! It's over! Everybody died 'cept me!! {a chomping sound is heard.} Aw, crap!

Easter Eggs

• At the end, click the "o" to see a breadtangle, breadpazoid, breadallelogram, and brhombus of pizza (click each one to see the next. Click the brhombus to go back to the IT'S OVER! screen.)
• Click the "!" to see what happened to Tompkins.

Transcript

{Tompkins and Strong Bad are sitting in the principal's office. Strong Bad has a sign on his desk reading "PRINICPAL" [sic] and has a sega cartridge saying "Road Rash."}

TOMPKINS: Aw, come on prinicpal {pronounced as prin-IC-pal} Strong Bad. I only stole ONE Sega tape!

STRONG BAD: That's just it, Tompkins... You could have stolen UPWARDS of one Sega tape.

TOMPKINS: Awww PEAS!

STRONG BAD: Kid, I think youre gonna turn out... HGHJHGHAAAALL right!

Fun Facts

Trivia

• This is the only Teen Girl Squad issue where all four girls clearly die.
• This is the first appearance of a main character (namely, Pom Pom) in a Teen Girl Squad issue (Outside of an easter egg).
• What's Her Face uses a left-handed guitar
• So and So appears twice in this issue with two sharp teeth.
• This is the first time Strong Bad has made an apparently personal comment during narration.
• This is the first time that someone other than Strong Bad has said "IT'S OVER!"
• In geometry, the twelve-sided shape that fell on So-and-So would be called a dodecahedron.

Goofs

• The die that crushes So And So is a 20-sided die. Twelve-sided dice have pentagonal faces.
• During Kissy Boots' first practice session, both What's Her Face and Cheerleader are playing basses, possibly Fender basses, judging from the arrangement of tuning pegs.

Inside References

• "Ooncha ooncha one, two, three-cha" and Tompkins debuted in Teen Girl Squad Issue 7.
• Sega tapes are also mentioned in anything.
• The "-erson" tacked onto Mrs. So and So's name is a bit of a running gag. Other "ersons" include Issue 4's Brett Bretterson, Emerson from "the process," Mrs Commanderson in Teen Girl Squad Issue 7 and the Strongbadia National Anthem Mr. Cheaterson.
• When So and So talks about Tompkins being a renegade, she has an expression on her face reminiscent of Doreauxgard in lackey.
• What's Her Face being labelled as "College Radio" is probably a reference to radio.
• Strong Bad is called a "prinicpal" (note the misspelling) by his nameplate and Tompkins, just like in the Homestar Quiz and CGNU.

Real-World References

• "Breadtangle" refers to cafeteria pizzas which are rectangular in shape, and very bready.
• One of The Ugly One's drums bears the inscription, "Mr Drummond," who was a character in the 80's TV show, "Different Strokes". It may also have been a reference to Bill "King Boy" Drummond of the techno band The KLF.
• The Sega "tape" (technically a cartridge) Tompkins steals in the easter egg is "Road Rash." Road Rash was a Sega Genesis game where you race on motorcycles and knock other racers off their motorcycles by punching them or using clubs.
• The Intercom, who introduces the battle of the bands, may be a reference to Saved by the Bell, where the character Screech creates a similar-looking robot friend.
• The speaker box as the robot's head may be a reference to Roundhouse, an early '90s Nickelodeon skit comedy show.
• The song the girls play sounds like the beginning to "Communication Breakdown" by Led Zeppelin.
• Cheerleader's three-necked guitar is a reference to Steve Vai's guitar. Incidentally, Steven Vai is the subject of the article for The Onion page-a-day tear-off calendar on January 17th
• The "16 hour drum solo" brings to mind the epic drum solos of "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" by Iron Butterfly and Led Zeppelin drummer Jon Bonham's solo in The Song Remains the Same
• Cheerleader's close-up of her with a hat, moustache, glasses, and a tie is similar to that of the Blues Brothers, though the way she says "yous guys" also directs the reference towards Edward G. Robinson.
• The classic Hanna-Barbera cartoon Jabberjaw also had a shark as a band member.
• The goblins and the gamers multi-sided die are staples of RPGs such as Dungeons & Dragons
• The opening quote for So and So "Hooked on Classics" refers to a real compilation album. It consists of classical musical themes set against rock beats.
• Adrian Belew uses a three-necked, heart-shaped guitar in his 1989 video "Oh Daddy."

External Links

• watch "Teen Girl Squad Issue 8"
• view the flash file for "Teen Girl Squad Issue 8"
• forum thread re: "Teen Girl Squad Issue 8"