The Homestar Runner Enters the Spooky Woods

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Toon Category: Holiday Toon
watch Fan Costumes 2018 Homestarloween Party
"No amount of gulps can express how scared I am!"

Strong Bad reads the tale of The Homestar Runner turning into a ghost, and venturing into the Spooky Woods to face three fears and earn back his corporeal form.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Homestar Runner (storybook), Pom Pom, Tiny-Handed Strong Bad, Strong Mad, Strong Sad, The Poopsmith, Coach Zee, Bubs, The King of Town, Homsar, The Cheat, Homestar Runner, Marzipan

Places: Storybook World, The King of Town's Castle, Spooky Woods, The Field

See The Homestar Runner Enters the Spooky Woods Costumes for more information on what everyone was wearing.

Date: Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Running Time: 10:05 (YouTube)

Page Title: The Homestar Runner Exits This Mortal Coil

Contents

Transcript

{Music plays as the cover of a storybook is shown against an orange background, titled "homestar runner enters the spooky woods contest" and subtitled "a thoroughly hallowed ween story for kids and children aboth"}

STRONG BAD: {narrating} The Homestar Runner Enters the Spooky Woods Contest. Er—never mind. {an X appears over the word "contest"}

{The first page shows The Homestar Runner against the same orange background, in front of a red-orange pumpkin. The caption reads, "Everyone loves The Homestar Runner. He is a terrific athlete."}

STRONG BAD: Everybody loves The Homestar Runner. {Homestar poses happily} He is an athletic terrife. {the caption changes to "athletic terrife"; Homestar plops down again and gives Strong Bad a weird look}

{The next page shows The Homestar Runner and Pom Pom in the storybook field.}

STRONG BAD: Once upon that singular time, The Homestar Runner and Pom Pom were playing it safe.

{The Homestar Runner concentrates for a moment with his eyes closed, then straightens, his eyes popping.}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Mmm... ah! I did it! Now it's your turn to think about a soft pillow, Pom Pom!

POM POM: {bubbles, eyelids lowered}

{Enter Tiny-Handed Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and Strong Sad, each wearing a mask}

STRONG BAD: Up bounded The Fearsome Brothers Strong wearing scary monster outfits.

TINY-HANDED STRONG BAD: {wavy motion lines coming from his mouth} HORRORSHOW!!

STRONG BAD: Burped Strong Bad.

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: SUCH A FRIGHT!

STRONG BAD: Squelched The Homestar Runner, and he lay down and died.

{The Homestar Runner lays down and turns transparent. A white ghost Homestar with a wiggly tail floats up from his body.}

TINY-HANDED STRONG BAD: Uh... that was unexpected.

STRONG BAD: Admitted Strong Bad just now.

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: {as his ghost} Oh no! I gave up the ghost!

STRONG SAD: You'll stay that way unless you enter the spooky woods {the spooky woods is shown as ominous music plays} and face your 3 fears before the witching hour!

STRONG BAD: [Said Strong Sad.] Quothed Lord High Plotlayer.

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: {determined look} It's what I must do! Let's go Pom Pom!

{Wide shot reveals Pom Pom is gone. Homestar looks distressed.}

STRONG BAD: But Pom Pom had already gone to a party at some rich kid's house.

{Cut to outside the Prince of Town's castle, where Pom Pom, wearing sunglasses, is floating in the pool. The Poopsmith bounces on the diving board repeatedly. Party music plays. Cut back to a close-up of The Homestar Runner.}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: {each gulp is simply captioned "gulp"} I (gulp) guess (gulpo) I'm on (gulpamundo) my own (Gulp Fantasy 2000).

STRONG BAD: Tedioused The Homestar Runner at great risk to the listenability of the story.

{Cut to the entrance to the spooky woods, where ghost Homestar floats in, looking nervous}

STRONG BAD: And so The Dead Homestar Runner entered the Spooky Woods.

{The Dead Homestar Runner floats through the spooky woods}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: No amount of gulps can express how scared I am!

STRONG BAD: Just then, he came face to face with his first fear!

{A life science textbook with a picture of a frog on the cover pops into existence before him, then opens to page 73, which has a picture of an pink organelle}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh no! Page 73 of my old life science textbook!

COACH ZEE: {speaking as the organelle} Can you identify this organelle, that is located in a plant cell?

STRONG BAD: Asked the life science textbook in Coach Z's voice for some reason.

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: {angrily} I'm not gulp-afraid of you... Golgi Apparatus!

COACH ZEE: Apporparortus! {the textbook closes and vanishes}

{The Homestar Runner's hat "ding"s into color}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: That was easy! I'll have my corporeal form back in no time!

STRONG BAD: Said The Homestar Runner after clearly consulting a thesaurus.

{The Homestar Runner leaves the scene. The Brothers Strong rise up from behind a teal-colored bush with purple berries.}

STRONG BAD: Meanwhile, behind a very great bush, the Brothers Strong were schemin' and steamin'.

TINY-HANDED STRONG BAD: All types of drat!

STRONG BAD: Said Strong Bad, {not captioned} coining an awesome new phrase that will endure throughout the ages. {Tiny-Handed Strong Bad grins}

TINY-HANDED STRONG BAD: We've got to make sure his next fear is so gruesome, he won't be able to face it!

STRONG MAD: Grunt!

STRONG BAD: Grunted Grunt Mad.

STRONG SAD: I'm here because family is hard to say no to.

STRONG BAD: Said a pallid bust of Pallas.

{Cut to ghost Homestar floating through the woods}

STRONG BAD: And so The Little-Bit-Less-Dead Homestar Runner forged ahead, and faced his next fear. Which was...

{A bathtub full of vomit and eyeballs appears against a pink and purple background as a spooky sound plays}

TINY-HANDED STRONG BAD: Eyeball barf bath!

{Wide shot. Strong Mad is vomiting eyeballs into the bathtub while Tiny-Handed Strong Bad stands by him.}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, I'm not scared of that. Boooo! {jumps into the bathtub, sticks his head up, and spits out an eyeball} Pa-too!

{Close-up of The Homestar Runner, who is surrounded by a golden aura}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Luxuriates my skin!

TINY-HANDED STRONG BAD: What the...?

STRONG BAD: Almost cussed Strong Bad. {Tiny-Handed Strong Bad puts a glove over his mouth}

TINY-HANDED STRONG BAD: {suddenly scared} But I am scared of... gulp gulp gulp gulp gulp gulp... FRILLY TOOTHPICKS!!!

{Cut to Strong Sad, who is holding a plate of club sandwiches with frilly toothpicks}

STRONG BAD: And all eyes turned to Strong Sad's club sammich.

TINY-HANDED STRONG BAD: That's stupid! No one's afraid of frilly toothpicks!

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh. {gets out of the bath} Oh, you're right. Thanks Strong Bad!

{The Homestar Runner gains his red star shirt.}

STRONG BAD: And with that, The Homestar Runner had successfully faced his second fear.

{The Homestar Runner floats on}

TINY-HANDED STRONG BAD: All types of drat!

STRONG BAD: Repeated Strong Bad, flirting with oversaturating the market with his new phrase too soon.

TINY-HANDED STRONG BAD: It looks like we have to come up with something stupid and weird, not gruesome.

{Cut to The Homestar Runner floating through the woods}

STRONG BAD: And so The Nearly-Not-Dead Homestar Runner ventured deeper into the spooky woods.

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Two down, one to go! I wonder what horrors my third fear will bring.

STRONG BAD: Just then he came to a clearing in the woods.

{The Homestar Runner witnesses Tiny-Handed Strong Bad and Strong Mad playing ping-pong on a round kitchen table}

TINY-HANDED STRONG BAD: Look at us! We're playing ping-pong on a kitchen table. Not regulation in the slightest!

STRONG BAD: Said Strong Bad wearing dress shoes with no socks. {close-up of Tiny-Handed Strong Bad's feet; he is indeed}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: While definitely illegal, I don't think non-regulation ping-pong is my third fear.

TINY-HANDED STRONG BAD: Well it doesn't matter anyway, {wide silhouetted shot; the moon has a clock displayed on it that's nearly at midnight} 'cause it's almost the witching hour and now you'll be stuck like this forever!

{Dramatic close-up of Tiny-Handed Strong Bad whacking the ping-pong ball in midair}

TINY-HANDED STRONG BAD: SLAMMA JAMMA!

STRONG BAD: And Strong Bad slammed the ball with wicked topspin. {the ball soars past The Homestar Runner in slow motion, then rolls into some brambles} And it flew into the Thorny Thicket, revealing...

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: OH NO!! My final fear!!

{Cut to the gruesome sight of exactly what Homestar describes:}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: A half-decomposed raccoon being carried around by a family of wet pigeons!! {the pigeons approach the ping-pong ball}

{Cut back to The Homestar Runner, Strong Mad and Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: Said the Homestar Runner in a children's book. {the words become italicized as he reads them}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Awww, but look. The gross wet pigeons think Strong Bad's ping-pong ball is an egg!

{The pigeons plus raccoon sit down on top of the ball}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: They're gonna hatch it!

{Cut back to the trio}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: They were just as gulp of me, as I was gulp of them!

STRONG BAD: Said the Homestar Runner, really shoe-horning some kind of half-baked moral into this thing.

STRONG SAD: Behold! The witching hour!

{The moon clock strikes midnight with a gong sound}

STRONG BAD: And so having faced his three fears, Homestar Runner gained back his corporeal form. {The Homestar Runner gains back his legs} Said narrator Strong Bad, who totally already knew what 'corporeal' meant, like, way before this book.

{Close-up on The Homestar Runner, whose backside seems to "ding"}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, hey hey! {wide shot; a transparent ghost tail is protruding from under his shirt} Looks like I get to keep my squiggily ghost-tail! {turns his rear to Tiny-Handed Strong Bad} Does it tickle your fancy, Mr. Strong Bad? {makes a duck face and starts making high-pitched noises}

TINY-HANDED STRONG BAD: SUCH A FRIGHT!

STRONG BAD: Moaned Strong Bad and he lay down and died.

{Tiny-Handed Strong Bad lays down and turns transparent. A white ghost Strong Bad with a wiggly tail floats up from his body.}

TINY-HANDED STRONG BAD: Now I gave up the ghost!

{Silhouetted wide shot}

ALL BUT TINY-HANDED STRONG BAD: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

STRONG BAD: Laughed all the other characters in a satisfying, end-of-story fashion.

{The page turns to a gray "end." screen. As Strong Bad speaks, a new storybook appears: "strong bad's ghost enters the homestar runner", with an illustration of Tiny-Handed Strong Bad's ghost being sucked into a surprised The Homestar Runner}

STRONG BAD: Join us next week, children, when we read "Strong Bad's Ghost Enters The Homestar Runner, Thereby Possessing Him Demonically". {the additional part of the title appears as he reads it}

{Cut to the modern day characters, costume-less, standing in the field at night. Strong Bad is holding the book.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Such a great story, Strong Bad.

STRONG BAD: Thanks, I just r—read it. To you.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {puzzled} Um, I know.

COACH Z: Say, is there something missin' here?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh crap! We forgot to put on our costumes!

STRONG BAD: Wait, our costumes or our costumes?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: We'd better peow outta here and get changed!

ALL: PEOW! {they dash off, then reappear in their Halloween costumes}

Fun Facts

Real-World References

  • "A pallid bust of Pallas" refers to Edgar Allan Poe's poem The Raven.
  • When Homestar Runner turns into a skeleton and collapses during the costume discussion at the end, it is a reference to one of the ways Dirk the Daring dies in the original Dragon's Lair. Homestar was dressed as Dirk the Daring in Mr. Poofers Must Die.

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