The Homestar Runner Gets Something Stuck In His Craw

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Toon Category: Shorts
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"Why don't you just go away?"

We travel backwise to 2004, when Strong Bad tells another timeless story.

Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Tiny-Handed Strong Bad, The Cheat, Strong Sad, Coach Z, Bubs

Places: The Field, The Computer Room

Date: Monday, April 14, 2008

Running Time: 3:00

Page Title: The Timeless Classic Comes To Life



{The short opens with an illustration done in the style of the original book, with Homestar wearing his Duckie Shirt. Strong Bad narrates throughout.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: The Homestar Runner gets something stuck in his craw.

{Next page shows Homestar Runner similar to the first page of the original book, but only with the Duckie Shirt}

Everyone loves The Homestar Runner. He is a terrific athlete.

{Page turns to Homestar hoeing in the Field}

Once a time, he was in the field doing some yard work.

{Close up of Homestar sweating}

"This yard work is hard work!" quipped The Homestar Runner.

{Pull back to reveal Tiny Handed Strong Bad and The Cheat entering from the left.}

Strong Bad and his The Cheat rolled up and started talking smack.

"You look dumb and stuff! {Close up to Strong Bad and The Cheat} Doing yardwork is only for the loseriest of losers!"

{Medium short of Homestar}

The Homestar Runner was saddened by this bit of news and felt ashamed.

"I never want to be a loser again!" {Master shot of all three} he said and somersaulted away.

{A picture of the earth from above, with Homestar tumbling in silhouette.}

He somersaulted around the world 50 times and only stopped because he was really tired.

{Close-up of Homestar upside down in space}

"Phew!" said The Homestar Runner.

{Homestar tumbles back into the field with Strong Sad}

Just then, it felt like a small animal tried to burst out of The Homestar Runner's craw.

{Close-up of Strong Sad}

"That is unsightly and make it go away!" shrieked [Strong Sad] some fat girl.

{Close-up of Homestar}

"Something is stuck in my craw!" declared The Homestar Runner.

{A small bush with pink leaves is in a field. Homestar enters from the right and stands behind the bush.}

For days upon days, he slinked around town trying to hide whatever it was that was stuck in his craw.

{Medium shot of Homestar. A wig appears on the bump when it is said.}

{Flatly} One day he put a wig on it.

{Coach Z leans in from the left}

"That's a nice wig ya got on your craw growth job there Homestar Runguy!" pronounced Coach Zee.

{Close up of Homestar}

Another day, he painted it green and [painted] drew some stripes on it.

{Bubs pops in in the background}

"Man! When is that nasty thing going to go away-way?!" queried Bubs.

{Homestar and Strong Sad in the field}

Finally, he asked [Strong Sad] The Ghost of Christmas Suck what to do.

"Sensible people solve their problems with words, not disguises," advised {mumbling, as if disappointed at running out of insults} Strong Sad.

{Homestar Runner in silhouette against a yellow background}

So The Homestar Runner tried talking to his craw lump.

{Close-up of Homestar}

"Why don't you just go away?" But it didn't answer.

"I just wish I knew where you came from." Still no answer.

{Medium shot, Homestar on the left. Strong Bad and The Cheat enter from the right.}

Just then, Strong Bad and The Cheat walked up and started laughing their rear ends off.

"Ha ha ha ha! That guy is talking to a thing that's not a person!" cackled Strong Bad with sort of a nose.

"Hey, you leave him out of this!"

Right about that time, the thing stuck in his craw popped out!

{Close-up of Homestar}

"Lands End!" yelped The Homestar Runner.

{Homestar, Strong Bad and The Cheat in silhouette against a yellow background}

The craw object, or crawbject, unfurled and was {close-up of Homestar} revealed to be...

{Medium shot of Homestar, Strong Bad and The Cheat}

A red shirt with a big white star!

"That is one pointy duck!" said {with light sarcasm} the smartest person in the world. {Homestar puts on the shirt}

{Pull back to reveal Bubs and Coach Z to the left of Homestar}

"Don't you look a sight," {questioningly} said Bubs.

"Now I can truly see that you're a terrific airthlete," realized Coach Zee.

{Close-up of Homestar}

"I couldn't have done it without my craw!!" said The Homestar Runner.

{Long shot of Homestar tumbling towards Mars, with the others in the field}

Then he somersaulted to Mars and brought them back all meatball subs.

{Coach Z, Bubs, Homestar, Strong Bad, and The Cheat all standing with meatball subs. Strong Bad's appears to be floating, even though he has arms.}

"I still hate you and later on, {Strong Bad holds up a knife} you gonna get cut," threatened tuff-as-nails Strong Bad.

{Close-up of Homestar}

"Oh, Strong Bad!"

{Homestar winks}


{After a moment, Homestar winks again, creating an actual ding.}

{cut to the Computer Room. Homestar is sitting on the floor, while Strong Bad is sitting at his desk with the Compy in the year 2004, holding a copy of the storybook he just read.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Bravo, Strong Bad. You simply must read one more.

STRONG BAD: Ohh, fine, fine. So I shall. How about {takes out another book and smiles} The Strong Sad Wets Yonder Bed?

{Strong Sad leans in}

STRONG SAD: There is no such kids' book!

{The cover for The Strong Sad Wets Yonder Bed flies up at the end.}

Fun Facts


  • The craw (also known as the "crop") is an anatomical structure in some animals in which food is stored prior to digestion.
  • Mike and Craig are references to Mike Chapman and Craig Zobel, the writers of the original Homestar Runner book.


  • At the end, Strong Bad's computer (the Compy 386) reads:

Inside References

  • In flashback, Strong Bad says he'll tell this story but gets sidetracked when his computer displays a message commenting on his 100th email. That email was originally going to tell the story of how Homestar got his star shirt, until it was reworked — the version of the shirt's origin seen here is very different from the one proposed for the email.
    • In the DVD commentary, Matt comments that "We should make that," referring to this story.
    • The floppy disk marked Cave Quest also appeared in flashback.
  • Coach Z's name was last spelled "Coach Zee" in Where My Hat Is At?.
  • "Crawbject" is a portmanteau.
  • Strong Bad smiles as he offers to read The Strong Sad Wets Yonder Bed.
  • When Homestar says, "Oh, Strong Bad!", he says Strong Bad in the same manner as he says it in Homestar Talker.
  • Homestar calls the star on the red shirt a duck.

Real-World References

  • "The Ghost of Christmas Suck" is a reference to the ghosts in A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.
  • Subway is known for franchising meatball subs in their restaurants, including Tuesdays as part of "Sub of the Day".

External Links

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