Trogdor!! The Board Game Rulebook EP

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(Trogdor's Fiery Rage)
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Stop calling. (I won't.)
Stop calling. (I won't.)
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===Trogdor's Fiery Rage===
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===[[Trogdor's Fiery Rage (song)|Trogdor's Fiery Rage]]===
'''BRAINKRIEG:''' ''{singing}''<br>
'''BRAINKRIEG:''' ''{singing}''<br>
So you lost the game<br>
So you lost the game<br>

Revision as of 18:05, 10 May 2019

listen
"We hope you guys enjoy these dumb songs!"

Trogdor!! The Board Game Rulebook EP is an album of twelve songs performed by various Homestar Runner characters for Trogdor!! The Board Game. Each song is roughly one to two minutes long, and briefly summarize the rules for playing the game, from the actions that can be performed on each turn to the movement behaviors of the peasants and knights. The album was revealed in a Kickstarter update on April 15, 2019, and is hosted on the official Homestar Runner website with its songs made free to download individually. The Kickstarter update states that videos may be made eventually, and the songs will eventually be added to the Trogdor!! Soundboard.

Contents

Track Listing

Transcripts

Quickstart Overview

STRONG BAD: {singing}
This is the quickstart overview
I'ma tell you all the things that you're supposed to do
The facts are many, the details are few
So come on and listen to my overvieeew!

{rapping}
Now Trogdor is a game that's cooperative
You can play it by yourself or with your stepmom's kids
And if you wanna find out what the object is
Just remember all the awesome stuff that Trogdor did!

Number one!
Burninate the countryside!
Flip all the tiles to the side that's fried!
Number two!
Burninate the peasants!
Clear the board of the presence
Of these persons, in order to defeat 'em
You can eat 'em or burn 'em!
That'll learn 'em!
Number three!
The thatched-roof cottages!
There's only three of these but the problem is
You gotta inundate these domiciles with burnination
Before you can incinerate them from creation

That sounds easy... for Trogdor anyways
So what's to stop his beefy arm from winnin' the game?
{singing}
You got the knights, the archers, and the Troghammer
Wanna steal all the peasants from your Trog-Meter

{rapping}
And undo all your hard-earned burnination
Fixing tiles and roofs of peasant habitation
And if they hit you when you're all outta energy,
Just watch what happens when Trogdor gets angry!

{speaking}
Oooh!
I'm talkin' rage quits... table flips...
Takes his toys and splits

{singing}
This is the quickstart overview
I'ma tell you all the things that you're supposed to do
The facts are many, the details are few
So come on and listen to my overvieeew!

{speaking}
Ohh, the overview!
It's like the view from above!
Where you can see everything in...
Uh... broad strokes.

The Actions You Can Do

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing out of key and rhythm}
These are the actions that you can do
On your turn when you're playing the board game, Trogdor!!
The Board Game. You can move or chomp or
Hide or burrow or even burninate!

{speaking} Hey, that was great! It was super catchy! Everyone's gonna remember this one! Again!

{continues singing}
These are the things that you can do
When you go into your house and inside your house
You have a couple friends and maybe a snack
And then play a board game, called Trogdor!! The Board Game
And these are the actions that you can do, they are
Move and chomp and hide and burrow and burninate!

{speaking} What'd I tell ya? Super catchy!

Super catchy!

Never forget!

Keepers of Trogdor

SOME VARIETY OF NEVILLE: {singing}
They're the Keepers of Trogdor and they're livin' their lives
Tryin' to make sure Trogdor survives
A mysterious bunch, but soon you will learn
They each have a power you can use on your turn!

Keepin' for you! (la la la la)
Creepin' for me! (la la la la)
Keepin' for Trogdor like a family!
Hegeltha and Brovelade, Yubbitz and Stonklar
Everybody has a great power that you don't have to recharge!
(I said-a party, party!)
(That you don't have to recharge!)
(I said-a party, party!)

TV ANNOUNCER: The Keepers of Trogdor is filmed in front of a live studio audience.

{applause}

KEEPER 1: Who left the lid of the peanut butter jar up?
CRANGOLEV: I think you mean toilet seat, yes?
KEEPER 1: There's a difference?

{laughter}

GRUFF ANNOUNCER: Weekdays at 7:30.

The Wraparound

COACH Z: {rapping}
Now here's a praeblem Boardelectrix had to contend with:
How you make a five-by-five grid seem endless?
Can't have the bad guys stuck in the ground,
So whaddaya do? You give 'em wraparound!

Wraparound! From the east to the west!
Let's wraparound! From the right to the left!
Got to wraparound, narth to south,
I'm rappin' wraparound with my invisible mouth!

Let's say I'm a peasant on the far left of the board:
I want to move west, but I can't be ignored!
How I'm supposed to reach my desired destination?
Wraparound the map around with no hesitation!

Oh, wraparound! Archers and knights!
The wraparound! All the peasants unite!
They do the wraparound, sisters and brothers,
Let's wrap around the map from one side to the other!

{speaking} Ohh, dag! I give a shout to Wormdingler!
Roberta Williams, the King's Quest!
The wraparound...
Sorry, Tragdor! You can't do it.

Surround the Cottages

MARZIPAN: {singing}
Surround those cottages all the way around
Even the diagonal tiles! (Whoa-oh!)
Don't forget the tile that the cottage is on
And then you can set it on fire! (Hoo-ray!)

Burninate the thatched-roof cottages! (Yeah-yeah-yeah!)
Burninate the thatched-roof cottages! (Yeah!)

If a cottage lives on the edge of the board
It's easier to burninate! (Whoa-oh!)
The cottage in the corner is a good place to start
Everything will go real great! (Yeah!)

Burninate the thatched-roof cottages! (Yeah-yeah-yeah!)
Burninate the thatched-roof cottages!

Cool Tapes!

Peasant Spawning (is Confusion)

STRONG SAD: {singing}
Flip over a movement card
Count the peasants in the corner
If that number is more than what's on the board
New peasants will be born
One per unburninated cottage, is the maximum wattage
Of peasant spawnage
On a single turn

Peasant spawning is confusion
Peasant spawning takes some getting used to
Peasant spawning is confusion
Peasant spawning takes some getting used to

{voiceover, speaking as chorus repeats}
Exceptions: If a peasant is already on an unburninated cottage, then no peasant can spawn there. If there are no peasants left in the Trog-Meter, then no peasant can spawn. If all the cottages are already burninated, then you just can't spawn any peasants!

When The Knight Moves Thru Ya

LIMOZEEN: {singing}
When a knight steps to ya
Ya move a peasant into the void!
When a knight moves through ya
Trogdor's gettin' annoyed!

After all the burnination
And peasant snacks
Get ready for consternation
As the countryside fights back!

When a knight steps to ya
Ya move a peasant into the void, void, void!
When a knight moves through ya
Trogdor's gettin' annoyed, -noyed, -noyed -noyed, -noyed...dah!

The Archer

BIGG NIFE: {singing}
The archer shoots in the direction of his last move
Forward and backward across a column or row
But the arrow doesn't hit the tile that he's standing on

Arrowed!
Remember their involvement
Haldo!
It's Mendelev and Dongolev
Arrowed!
Remember their involvement
Haldo! Arrowed! Haldo! Arrowed!

The archer himself cannot damage Trogdor
Only the arrows shot from his bow

Arrowed!
Remember their involvement
Haldo!
It's Mendelev and Dongolev
Arrowed!
Remember their involvement
Haldo! Arrowed! Haldo! Arrowed!

Don't Forget to Recharge

STRONG BAD: {speaking} Item powers! Let's go!

{singing} Don't forget to recharge your item powers
Those item powers, they need to be recharged!
Once you've used all your item powers,
Turn it sideways until it gets recharged!

Tonight we're gonna make it happen
Tonight we're gonna make it happen
Tonight we're gonna make it happen on this tabletop tonight!
Everybody!

STRONG BAD, COACH Z, HOMESTAR: Don't forget to recharge your item powers
Those item powers, they need to be recharged!
Don't forget to recharge your item powers
But your Keeper powers don't need to be recharged!

The Troghammer

TARANCHULA: {singing}
I'm the Troghammer
I might move multiple times in one turn
I'm the Troghammer
I repair the cottages Trogdor burns

Set my cards aside (Set my cards aside)
Before the game begins (Before the game begins)
When Trogdor first takes damage (When Trogdor first takes damage)
Shuffle them in!

I'm the Troghammer!
I might move multiple times in one turn!
I'm the Troghammer!
I repair the cottages Trogdor burns!

{evil laughter}

Forget the Rules

SLOSHY: {singing}
Doesn't matter if you (unh!) forget the rules
Doesn't matter at all (It doesn't matter)
If you forget, for instance, (unh!) to move the knights
Just move 'em on the next turn (Yeah, I don't break a sweat)

Make up your own house rules
If you think that it would make it more fun (Oh, it definitely would)
If items recharged on anyone's turn
It'd easier to get the job done (Yeah, that's the way my friend Doug plays it)

Doesn't matter if you (unh!) tear up the rules...

...'Cuz I was never coming over to your house to play it anyways.
Stop calling. (I won't.)

Trogdor's Fiery Rage

BRAINKRIEG: {singing}
So you lost the game
Well that's really lame
But Troggie's got a fire
That cannot be contained!

Trogdor's Fiery Rage! (Draw five cards!)
Trogdor's Fiery Rage! (Five movement cards!)
Trogdor's Fiery Rage! (Draw five cards!)
Trogdor's Fiery Rage!

He gets wraparound
Burns everything down
Just by touching it
Except the archer lives

Trogdor's Fiery Rage! (Draw five cards!)
Trogdor's Fiery Rage! (Five movement cards!)
Trogdor's Fiery Rage! (Draw five cards!)
Trogdor's Fiery Rage!

{spoken} Deck of cards!
Jugga jigga wugga.

Fun Facts

Trivia

  • This album marks the first song ever heard by Bigg Nife.
  • "The Wraparound" was previously posted in the February 21, 2019 Kickstarter update, and "Quickstart Overview" was posted in the Kickstarter update that revealed the album.
  • "Don't Forget to Recharge" is sung in the same style as "The S is for Sucks"

Inside References

  • According to Bigg Nife's song, the Archers in the board game are Mendelev and Dongolev.
  • "Trogdor's Fiery Rage" refers to Trogdor as "Troggie", which he was also called in Happy Trogday.
  • One member of sloshy refers to his friend Doug.
  • Brainkrieg ends their song with a phrase beginning with D-E ("deck of cards"), followed by "jugga jigga wugga", as they did in death metal.

Real-World References

  • "The Keepers of Trodgor", like Some Variety Of Neville's previous song, is patterned after sitcom themes. Announcers at the end of the song resemble real announcements that would come after these theme songs.
  • Coach Z refers to Roberta Williams, designer of the original King's Quest, which featured a wraparound map.

External Links

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