User:Guybrush20X6/Stupid Things Homestar's Done

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"Ooh! I'm a neglected official."

The sender of the Strong Bad Email 4 branches asks about the stupidest thing Homestar Runner has ever done, said, or imagined, and Strong Bad replies that it would take several days just to scratch the surface of the tip of that iceberg. As Strong Bad states in TrogdorCon '97, he has an unbelievably loose grasp on the world around him.

Contents

Stupid Things Homestar's Done

Big Toons

  • In Search of the Yello Dello — Homestar cooks a turkey for Marzipan's birthday, forgetting she's a vegetarian.
  • The Luau — Homestar drinks 32 glasses of melonade, and relieves himself over the spare firewood behind Marzipan's gazebo. He also fails to notice Strong Sad standing on the opposite side of the tofu spit roast.
  • Where's The Cheat — Homestar calls Marzipan stupid when bringing her "this stuff", only correcting himself to say "veggie burger".
  • Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon
    • Upon catching Strong Bad and The Cheat Homestar continues to make siren noises, long after Strong Bad has surrendered.
    • Homestar interrogates Pom Pom for being out past curfew, forgetting they're supposed to be looking for the kidnapped Poopsmith together.
    • Upon finding the still bound-and-gagged Poopsmith, Homestar tells him to move along.
  • Bug In Mouth Disease — Homestar overreacts to swallowing a bug.
    • In his panic he mistakes The King of Town for Santa.
    • He steals Pom Pom's and The King of Town's prescription ice creams in an attempt to freeze it out.
    • After Strong Bad smacks Homestar in the face with a frying pan, Homestar wakes up and thanks him for the great "skillet nap".
  • Cool Things — Homestar writes the phrase "Cool Tapes" on Marzipan's wall and is sent to get paint to cover it up.
    • Homestar wears Cool Shades covered in Yella Paint, causing him to mistake Strong Sad for Dripping Yellow Madness. Upon being corrected, he still insists Strong Sad is in fact Dripping Yellow Madness.
    • Homestar gives away the paint to Strong Sad for "a date with a wall".
    • Homestar "falls" into a "death hole" not deep enough to contain him and he still screams as if falling.
    • Homestar thinks that Bubs's name is Stan.
    • Eventually Homestar returns to Marzipan's with a bag of four grapes, by which point he's taken so long that Marzipan has formed a band called "Cool Tapes".
  • Weclome Back — Homestar Runner sleeps in through several months, leaving homestarrunner.com without updates.
  • Strongest Man in the World — In the remake of the original book:
    • Homestar forgets the name of the titular contest twice.
    • Has a hard time telling if Strong Bad insulted him or not.
    • Doesn't realise that dropping his grapes to stop The Cheat disqualifies him.
    • Believes that the original ending is taking place.
  • Date Nite — Homestar and Strong Bad try to sabotage Marzipan and The Cheat's date.
    • Homestar calls Marzipan a "Fox's Mother" and when Marzipan says that that's more offensive than "Foxy Mama", he clarifies that he meant the more offensive one.
    • Marzipan implies that Homestar can't count to four.
    • His attempts to ruin their dinner at Marshmallow's L'est Stand are transparent to the point of uselessness.
    • Thanks The Cheat for asking if he can clean his clock.
    • Homestar and Strong Bad attempt to ruin the dating couple's night on the Stone Bridge using fireworks and a cardboard submarine. The submarine sinks and the fireworks only serve to make the night more romantic.
    • Homestar forgets the words to the Strong Badian National Anthem as they sink.
  • DNA Evidence — Homestar while looking for the titular DNA evidence finds it in a glass and mistakes it for Mountain Dwah. He then proceeds to drink it and spit it out all over The Cheat.
  • Career Day — Homestar mistakes Space Captainface for a police-fireman.
  • Kick-A-Ball — Strong Bad and Homestar compete in Kick-A-Ball.
    • Homestar seems oblivious to the face his hands are invisible (if they exist at all).
    • Homestar calls out "Sonic" as the coin flips.
    • Homestar proceeds to pick Pom Pom for his team multiple times, leaving Strong Bad with most of the cast.
    • Upon seeing the mismatched teams, Homestar declares they're split "Even Stevens".
  • 2 Part Episode: Part 1 — In the Easter egg Homestar seems to think Cheat Commandos is about hamsters opening restaurants.
  • Homestar Runner Goes For The Gold — Homestar shows Strong Bad something cool he found in his garage.
    • Homestar raves about how exciting the thing he found was, he forgot what said thing actually was. After thinking, he claims it was a squeak burger.
    • Homestar starts narrating the story as "The Homestar Runner and the Bathyscaphe: A Lurid Tale of Underwater Intrigue and Underwater Pants".
    • Homestar finds his old whistle at the end and has completely forgotten how whistles are supposed to work. He holds it in front of his mouth and makes whistle noises with his lips, declaring it to be a great new era in Homestar Runner talk.

Shorts

  • Theme Song Video — The cake Homestar makes for Marzipan collapses.
  • Fluffy Puff Commercial — Homestar repeatedly flubs his line for the commercial until it's night and he's on take 854 so settles for a simpler endorsement.
  • The Interview — Strong Bad tries to interview Homestar to find out what "his freakin' problem is".
    • Homestar walks past the arranged meeting place several times, ending up half an hour late.
    • Homestar claims to have driven, twice despite Strong Bad pointing out he doesn't own a car.
    • Homestar mistakes Stong Bad's interview for a Job interview and hands over his grocery list as his resume.
    • Homestar forgets who is the interviewer and interviewee.
  • Arcade Game — Homestar fails to notice the post it note saying Strong Bad is in the basement until he types in an email asking where Strong Bad is. He also believes Strong Bad's lie that they're doing The Cheat's taxes, asking them to do his next.
  • Lookin at a Thing in a Bag — Strong Bad, The Cheat and Strong Mad trick Homestar into getting them drinks and ends the episode looking at the empty bag before wearing it.
  • Experimental Film — Homestar interrupts the filming of Strong Sad's portion of the music video twice.
  • The Li'l Brudder Show — Homestar melodramatically cries over Li'l Brudder once again and calls his cartoon show "his most ambitious album to date".
  • TrogdorCon '97 — Homestar Runner attends the con dressed up as Homestar runner by putting another propellor cop on over his own and a paper star taped over his own cloth one. When Strong Bad replies that it was Homestar's "unbelievably loose grasp on the world around [him]" that gave it away Homestar agrees.
  • Sick Day — Homestar and the House of the Brothers Strong come down with an illness.
    • Homestar has the wrong end of the thermometer in his mouth.
    • Homestar tries to get Strong Bad to smell how bad his burps are.
    • Homestar mistakes Strong Bad's email for a word problem.
    • The "word problem" he gives is an unsolvable math question.
  • Strong Bad is a Bad Guy — Homestar talks about getting tattoos of his "forearm" and "bulging biceps", despite not having visible arms.
  • Summer Short Shorts — Homestar makes various strange comparisons between items on The Bar and his and Pom Pom's friendship.
  • No Hands on Deck — Homestar decides to build a deck.
    • Homestar again talks through Cardboard Marzipan.
    • Homestar misspells "Deckman" as D-E-C-K-E-M-A-N.
    • Homestar somehow comes out from Strong Sad's bed sheets, not sure of how he managed to do so.
    • Homestar procrastinates by talking about galvanised nails as he doesn't know how to build a deck, something he/Cardboard Marzipan calls him out on.
    • Homestar encases all of the field, bar Bubs' Concession stand in decking, including Cardboard Marzipan, Strong Mad, the bushes and, somehow, the clouds.
  • Sbemail 169 Deleted Scene — In the third deleted scene, Homestar doesn't notice anything is off about Cottage Cheese Strong Bad until its head falls off.
  • Ever and More! — Homestar uses The King of Town to demonstrate the secret handshake, despite neither of them having visible arms.
  • Quality Time — Homestar spends three weeks in Marzipan's closet looking for a cake she said was in there. He decided that the broom and coats are cakes and proceed to eat them.
  • Blubb-O's Commercial — Homestar opens his sales pitch with "Welcome the crap to Blubb-O's".
  • Play Date — Homestar plays with Strong Mad.
    • Homestar plays "Blocks" which involves him being burried under a massive tower of cinder blocks. Homestar says this is exactly what he thought the game would be and doesn't know why he agreed to it.
    • Homestar asks for a Cold One at the end and despite dropping it, still acts as if he's drinking it.
  • The Baloneyman — Homestar is oblivious to Bubs's hints that the sandwich shaped like it has a bite taken out of it does in fact have a bite taken out of it.
  • Place ya bets! — Homestar places half a G on Strong Bad not making it out of email 200 and has a bomb prepared to do so. Strong Sad points out that his bomb is red candles with a clock taped to them, at which point Homestar tries to make his escape on an "invisible secret elevator".
  • Coach Z's 110% — Homestar drops the exhausted act during his interview.
  • Best Caper Ever — Strong Bad and The Cheat trap an unaware Homestar on an ice floe in the Arctic.
    • Homestar spends his time pretending one leg is shorter than the other.
    • Homestar has a conversation with a bloated sealion carcass and Marzipan who is not present.
    • Homestar throws away a satellite phone and flare gun for poking him.
    • Homestar begins to suspect he isn't in Marzipan's patio at which point he calls out to Larry and himself for help.
    • Homestar mistakes Strong Sad for a polar bear and thinks he has frost breath.
  • Donut Unto Others
    • Homestar buys questionable medical coverage from Bubs.
    • His doughnut batter has clear hairs in it.
    • Homestar passes off Marzipan telling to get out of her kitchen as a positive review.
    • Homestar sets up a fryer in a cardboard box, which causes Homestar's face to be fried when Strong Bad knocks the store over.
  • 79 Seconds Left — Homestar and Strong Sad pour water on their knees for fun.
    • When Strong Bad demands he be called The Leg from now on, Homestar calls him "The-Leg-from-now-on" in full.
  • Where My Hat Is At? (toon) — In the remake of the original book:
    • Homestar refers to Homestar Runner as a different person.
    • Homestar doesn't understand Marzipan's questions of where his hat has gone until she phrases it in the same way the title does.
    • Homestar lifts the couch with Marzipan still on it, sending her flying.
    • Homestar mentions that it made complete sense to him that his non-food hat would be on a food grill.
    • Homestar tries to trade his jock-strap for Pom Pom's hat.
    • Homestar looked inside his hat for his hat.
    • Homestar finds that he left his hat in the fridge when he left his hat in the fridge.
    • Homestar runs onto the field expecting things to turn out like the original book and keeps acting as if the original ending is taking place as The Umpire spells out that Homestar illegally ran on to the field and will be banned from play.
  • On Break — Homestar praises the Freshmen for their spirit, despite no-one joining in the chant.
  • Flash is Dead! — Strong Bad tries to explain to Homestar that Flash is dying.
    • Homestar thinks that the error message "vulnerable and should be updated" would sound good on his dating profile.
    • Homestar mistakes Strong Bad exclimation of "Horse Gibblets" for the name of Strong Bad's filthy sack, F-Sack.
    • When told "Flash is Dying" Homestar thinks Strong Bad is talking about the DC Superhero of the same name. He also claims to be a way better runner than him.
    • Homestar mistakes Strong Bad's statement that Flash created us all as something religious.
    • When Strong Bad say the need to head for the hills, Homestar wonders if the objects in the background are hill or bushes as Strong Bad tries to tell him he was being figurative. Homestar proceeds to run into them, confirming they are bushes.
    • Homestar thinks HTML5 means "Hyper Text Markup Lotion 5" and offers to "poop" a little out for Strong Bad.
    • Homestar mistakes Strong Bad's analogy of Flash dying being a meteor coming for Earth to mean Strong Bad wants another Deep impact DVD.
    • During his Deep Impact impression, Homestar mixes up the names of the actors with characters they played and mixes up the movie itself with similar disaster movie Armageddon.
  • Characters from Yonder Website — Homestar, along with most of the cast, drinks Smarty Juice that's 10 years out of date and hallucinates an unbelievably soothing children's programme.

Holiday Toons

  • Homestar Runner has a habit of getting character's costumes wrong, including his own.
  • A Holiday Greeting — Homestar accidentally repeats "O Holy Crap" when trying to correct Strong Bad.
  • The House That Gave Sucky Treats
    • On the Smarties selection, Homestar recalls Marzipan telling him to eat loads of them, though he's not sure why.
    • On the Peanuts selection, Homestar starts humming Entrance of the Gladiators for way too long, even knocking on the door again to continue.
  • The Best Decemberween Ever
    • Homestar fails to notice Strong Sad leaning on the wall right in front of him.
    • Homestar insults Marzipan's gift ideas to her face and takes her suggestion to annoy someone else sincerely.
    • Instead of multiple more apt presents he found at Bubs' Concession Stand, Homestar gets Strong Bad a Deep Impact DVD; the same present he got him for the last three Decemberweens.
  • Pumpkin Carve-nival — Homestar doesn't think another him walking around is strange until it's revealed to be Strong Bad in disguise.
  • A Decemberween Pageant — Homestar talks about getting ready for the big Decemberween Pageant, forgetting he's already on stage in front of a crowd.
  • Malloween Commercial — Homestar thinks eyeballs make the sound "Seeeee!".
  • 3 Times Halloween Funjob
    • Homestar mistakes his change for free money.
    • Homestar can't figure out what Strong Bad has planned for Halloween, despite Strong Bad picking up dubious amounts of toilet paper and eggs.
    • Homestar watered Marzipan's ficus plant Credenza with Yoo-Hoo, killing the plant.
    • Homestar gets "a million pounds" of "bum candy".
    • Homestar thinks The Treacherous 3 is the third movie in a trilogy.
  • Halloween Fairstival — After selling Strong Bad some Witch's Brew for $10, Homestar is fooled into paying Strong Bad the $10. Homestar then tries to stop breathing for $10.
  • Homestar Runner Presents: Presents — Homestar does some very last minute Decemberween shopping.
    • Homestar sets his alarm to 10 PM instead of AM, "again".
    • Homestar planned to go Decemberween shopping on the 25th of December, not realising that the 25th is Decemberween.
    • In his panic, he runs into the door, falls down the stairs and ends up outside naked somehow.
    • Homestar mistakes Homsar's collection bucket for a complementary spit bucket.
    • Homestar roots through Bubs's 'aught four crap for last minute presents including electrical tape for Pom Pom, a rusty steak knife for Coach Z and a Bannana with an arrow through it for The Poopsmith
    • Homestar takes Bubs's threat of a "kick in the skull with a ribbon on it" to mean Bubs wants ribbons for Decemberween.
    • Homestar gets Marzipan wire cutters for Decemberween. This turns out to work in his favor, to Strong Bad and his own suprise, as Marzipan was looking for a pair to free baby seals caught in crab traps.
    • Homestar then forgets that he got everyone Decemberween presents and starts panicking all over again. Strong Bad tell the audience that this nonsense goes on until New Years.
  • HomestarRunner.com PAY PLUS!
    • In the "Seven Second Sample" Homestar counts too slowly, only getting up to 5 before the "trial" ends.
    • In the "Trap Door" Sample, Homestar is oblivious to the fact Strong Bad and The Cheat tried to send him down a bottomless pit and dances around on Strong Mad's head.
  • Senorial Day — In the first ad for Bubs' Concession Stand Homestar pretends to make fireworks noises by saying "Explosions! Fireworks!" and claims to be Bubs's son with a fake large eye and set of teeth taped to his face.
  • Happy Fireworks — Homestar brings along a crude drawing of Marzipan on a piece of cardboard, filling in her voice himself. Somehow, Cardboard Marzipan seems to be more aware and intelligent than Homestar himself.
    • Homestar calls Independence Day "Happy Fireworks", which Cardboard Marzipan tries to correct him on.
    • Homestar denies that Marzipan is out of town, before confirming she is as Cardboard Marzipan.
  • Halloween Potion-ma-jig — In this chose-your-own-venture type game:
    • Homestar tells the audience that he's trapped in a haunted mansion and he needs their help to find his costume and escape with a fake HUD coming up on screen. It's quickly revealed he's in his own house and Marzipan hands him his costume at which point he declares "You win!"
    • Homestar drew bugs and ducks over Marzipan's Halloween potion recipe and when she realises, he shouts to her off screen, asking if he can draw bugs and ducks over her Halloween potion recipe.
    • Powder Intro: Homestar dug up an ate a Sandwich that the King of Town buried when he was a child, complaining there was too much mayo.
    • Powder Option 1: Homestar's detailed account of eating the Sandwich includes his washing it in windex to ge the dirt off, making it soggy.
    • Essence Option 2: Homestar claims to be trying to ruin Marzipan's Halloween potion.
    • Essence, all options: Homestar is tricked into running off the cliff by Strong Bad and/or The Cheat.
    • Stirring Utensil Option 2: Homestar sings horribly off key, earning him a chewed up pen from Bubs.
    • Stirring Utensil Option 3: Homestar does a terrible Ronald Regan impression, before he reveals he was trying to be "Keanu Regan", earning him a "terlet brush" from Bubs.
    • Magic Words Intro: Homestar thinks Strong Sad being buried is part of his costume.
    • Magic Words Option 1: Homestar takes Strong Sad's question of "[...] do you even have half a brain?" as Strong Sad's suggestion for magic words.
    • Tofu Ending: After turning back from Tofu Homestar, Homestar sing-songs that Marzipan's costume makes her butt look big.
    • Cyclops Ending: According to Marzipan, Homestar gets double vision because he forgets how to use his eyes, causing him to believe he was dating twins.
  • More Fan Costumes — While Strong Bad is having a freak out after seeing an attractive woman dressed as Homestar Runner, Homestar himself prceeds to make things worse by offering Strong Bad a backrub and calling him sweetie.
  • Fall Float Parade
    • Homestar somehow gets himself stuck on a float parade in a pile of sweat shirts (which, thanks to a misspelled float sign, he calls swe-atshirts) while he's supposed to be watching Bubs' Concession Stand, leading it to get stolen by Strong Mad.
    • In the Easter egg, he replaces the stand with a cardboard box that has "blue face man's store" written on it. He confidently states Bubs will never know the difference.
  • Happy Hallow-day — Homestar's attempts to catch Halloween Night involves trying to bait it out with a chew toy like a puppy, even telling it to sit.
  • Fan Costumes '06 — Homestar Runner claims to have eaten Luigi and that he tasted like Mushrooms.
  • Decemberween Short Shorts — Homestar as a Christmas cookie ornament asks wants to eat himself and mixes up Decemberween with Halloween.
  • Jibblies 2 — As the Jibblies painting picks off the cast one by one:
    • Homestar refuses to answer the phone for Marzipan as he's too busy not answering the phone.
    • Doesn't realise that Marzipan's got the Jibblies.
    • Upon seeing Bubs jibblied, declares "we're snowed in again"!
    • Homestar's offended to be left out of Strong Bad's list of lame characters.
    • Homestar is not spooked by the Jibblies Paining and willingly goes in.
    • Homestar agrees to spend all eternity in the painting to save his friends, not understanding what "eternity" means.
    • Homestar still thinks Marzipan was talking about making giblets.
  • Fan Costumes '07 — Homestar is convinced a photo of a fan dressed up as him is one of him and a photo of a fan dressed up as The Yello Dello is a photo of Marzipan.
  • Happy Dethemberween — Homestar sleeps with his hedge-clippers under his pillow.
  • Costume Commercial — Homestar claims that Bubs wears an apron "with a picture of himself, on himself" all the time.
  • Most in the Graveyard — Homestar thinks that he's at a theme park when they visit the graveyard.
  • Hooked on Decemberween — Homestar sings that he got everyone presents at the dollar store for 50% off.
  • A Death-Defying Decemberween — Homestar tries to get himself injured and/or killed to get out of Decemberween at Marzipan's mother's house.
  • Doomy Tales of the Macabre
    • Homestar puts his toe-nail clippings on top of Marzipan's toothbrush.
    • Homestar is unphased by losing his knees and subsequently gaining several knees.
  • Fan Costumes '09 — Homestar treats Strong Bad like his young son after seeing a picture of a family dressed up as them.
  • Punkin Show — Homestar is once again unclear on what genre The Show (as "The Punkin Show") is.
  • A Decemberween Mackerel
    • Homestar wears a sweater made out of mistletoe despite it being infested by what he believes to be venomous bugs.
    • Homestar wants Senor Cardgage to die so he can make out with Marzipan.
    • Marzipan tells Homestar to his face that she tricks him into making out with the mop every year.
    • Homestar says he'll go and get his Cram Rod, while he's holding it.
    • Believes that he's literally family with Marzipan and Senor Cardgage.
    • After Senor Cardgage is saved, he is sad no one is dying.
    • In the Easter egg, Homestar is, once again, tricked into making out the mop, which he doesn't realise in spite of the coackroach in "Marzipan"'s wet, stringy hair.
  • Which Ween Costumes? — Homestar insists that they always stand around in the field wearing Decemberween costumes every year.
  • April Fool 2014 — Homestar updates the website after hiatus.
    • Homestar had an entire crab shell stuck in his throat, causing bleeding.
    • Homestar takes requests to "update the best feature on your website" to mean updating the Hairstyle Runner gallery and the Homestar Talker.
    • Homestar takes the fig leaf of the statue of himself and places in on his own crotch area.
    • Homestar laughs hysterically over a period after the letter P.
    • Homestar's "Colorarization" of Kick the Can gives a very faded light color to the whole thing, and renders Sickly Sam's legs as hairy human ones.
    • Homestar eats the Fig leaf.
    • Homestar calls Strong Bad "Simone".
    • Homestar says he's been living in a duffel bag that has fungus in it, claiming to be at the top of his game.
  • I Killed Pom Pom — Homestar believes he's killed Pom Pom.
    • Homestar starts randomly shouting "murder" in his sentences and denies it when Pom Pom questions it.
    • Upon seeing the deflated giant pumkin, Homestar thinks it's Pom Pom's corpse.
    • Homestar weeps for Pom Pom calling him his "best friend and concubine", adding he should look up what concubine means.
    • Homestar believes his "evil jealous side secretly killed Pom Pom without even telling [his] dopey lovable side".
    • Homestar mentions he should have gotten the inflatable Pumpkin's phone number.
    • Homestar follows Strong Bad's instructions to get items for body disposal but panics on Cold Ones and Maple Bismarks and blurts that he killed Pom Pom.
    • Homestar's attempt at an alibi is to talk to a piece of cardboard with a burner phone drawing on it and claim to be having a legitimate conversation.
    • Homestar fails to notice he's standing in the remains of The Poopsmith's Whatsit Pile, allowing The King of Town to frame him for eating it.
    • Homestar picks up sixteen dozen kolaches, instead of bismarcks.
    • Homestar recalls his attempts to pin a corsage on his prom date lead him accidentally drawing blood.
    • Homestar tries to pin the murder of Pom Pom on Marzipan and Strong Sad while still stuffing the inflatable pumpkin into her couch. Marzipan implies this sort of thing is a regular occurrence.
    • Upon being confronted with Pom Pom's "ghost" Homestar decides to fight "murder with murder" by tearing the point off Strong Bad's costume and throwing it at Pom Pom, killing him for real.
    • When the cast tells him "you killed Pom Pom", he responds with "Uhhhhm, duh!"
  • The House That Gave Sucky Tricks — Homestar's crappy haunted house inspires Strong Bad to come up with his own.
    • Homestar's haunted house involves such things as "scary shoes" and an "incomplete jigsaw puzzle"
    • Homestar hijacks Strong Bad's imagination by making Large Bean it into a museum tour.
    • Homestar forget they're meant to be in the scary shoes room instead of the spooky shoes room and "corrects" it by telling Strong Bad to shut and open his eyes.
  • Fan Costumes 2015 — Homestar and Strong Bad dress up like questionable Halloween costumes of themselves and refer to each other as "regular Strong Bad" and "all-the-time Homestar".

Strong Bad Emails

  • Email credit card — Homestar falls for Strong Bad's blatantly transparent phishing attempt, even noting that "Superfied Credit Union" has the same email address as Strong Bad.
  • Email super powers — Homestar fails to notice Strong Bad using his powers to remove Homestar's cap repeatedly.
  • Email 1 step ahead — Homestar fails to notice Strong Sad has his hands glued to his butt, and takes Strong Sad saying he can't help it the wrong way.
  • Email dullard — The titular Dullard is Homestar, not noticing how Strong Bad is trying to ignore his rambling.
  • Email helium — Homestar mistakes The Cheat, inflated by helium for "an ugly bird".
  • Email your friends — Homestar willingly and enthusiastically puts his head into a vat of hot lava on Strong Bad's request.
  • Email 50 emails — Homestar crashes the Compy 386 through attempting to delete an email and leave a fake "everything's fine" message.
  • Email island — Homester thinks an old flyer for the Super Bowl has "saved" him and Strong Bad.
  • Email monster truck — Homestar's part in Awexome Cross '98 involves Strong Mad smashing Marzipan's guitar over his head.
  • Email fingers — Homestar wears ridiculous fake arms.
  • Email the show — Homestar can't seem to remember whether he's running a talk show or a game show.
  • Email caper — A sleepy Homestar mistakes Strong Bad and The Cheat for Strong Sad and Batman, then thanks them for breaking his cow lamp.
  • Email 2 emails — Homestar uses Strong Bad's blender and Game Boy to try and make a time machine.
  • Email privileges — Homestar thinks The Cheat burning magazines counts as getting a subscription.
  • Email anything — Homestar takes over answering Strong Bad's email.
    • He seems to think he's teaching a class while doing so.
    • He gets mad when the email refers to him as Strong Bad. Despite saying he'll let is slide, he then holds back the sender after "class".
    • Somehow believes the sender is called Jerome when they signed the email as "Dan".
    • Homestar once used old Sega Tapes as coasters.
    • Homestar once made shoes out of shoeboxes.
    • And Homestar finishes the email by making a wet computer out of Strong Bad's computer and proceeds to pour Mountain Dew over the 386's keyboard.
  • Email stunt double — Homestar is in shot by accident in one scene.
  • Email date — Homestar spends his date with Marzipan having her play a guessing game where he says an option not available, kicking her shin and spitting his "coffee" into her face.
  • Email impression — Homestar's Strong Sad costume has shoes that look like hippo's heads rather than feet, he misidentifies them as elephants and he somehow got a sock taped to his head without realising.
  • Email couch patch — Homestar thinks the email is titled "Teddy Graham Memories" and recalls the time he spat Teddy Grahams onto the ceiling of the basement.
  • Email local news — Bubs charges Homestar $5 to stand in line and he declares it the best $5 he's ever spent.
  • Email caffeine — Homestar's science project consists entirely of a single brown puddle and a sign with "AWW MAN. IT MELTED." written on it.
  • Email army — Sick of playing second fiddle to Strong Bad and The Cheat, Homestar forms the Homestarmy to invade Strong Badia.
    • Homestar mispronounces Colonel as Col-on-el.
    • He tries to recruit Strong Bad to invade his own country.
    • His speech includes him stating that he'll place a fake beard on The Tire.
    • Homestar declares a retreat when the invasion clashes with a badminton game.
    • When delivering the bad news of Frank Bennedetto's (a popcorn maker) death to Frank's mother (a microwave), he tries to get the $5 Frank owed him off her.
  • Email the bet — Homestar thinks he's lost the bet until informed otherwise and declares that if Strong Bad told him to jump off a bridge, he would.
  • Email monument — Homestar is distracted from putting on pants by the arrival of The Thnikkaman.
  • Email flashback — Homestar believes he might live in The House of the Brothers Strong.
  • Email car — Homestar interrupts the deleting of the email to show off his tricked out propeller cap.
    • Homestar thinks that Strong Bad said "doing" (as in the sound effect) rather than "doing" (as in the verb) because he "spelt them the same" despite Strong Bad saying it out loud.
    • Homestar pronounces "coup-de-gras" as "Koop-de-Grass".
    • Homestar claims that his buzzer plays the theme from Nightcourt when he hums it.
    • Homestar asks Strong Bad what he's "doing" (sound effect).
    • Homestar tells Strong Bad to take his fist back to the shop for putting deleted on backwards, despite being there and watching Strong Bad put it on himself.
  • Email lunch special — Homestar sees Bubs flying and treats the sight like a movie effect, declaring he can "totally see the strings."
  • Email haircut — Homestar tells Strong Bad he can't cut his hair, at which point it's revealed Strong Bad was talking to the King of Town. Furthermore, Strong Bad points out he doesn't even have hair by calling him "baldy".
  • Email theme park — Homestar spent three thousand dollars on Strong Bad's Riverquest Safariventure.
  • Email replacement — Homestar and the rest of the cast try out to be Strong Bad's replacement when he retires.
    • Homestar responds to all names he's told to make fun of with "crapface".
    • When told to kick The Cheat, Homestar winds up for a kick, but then says "crapface".
    • During the dance contest, Homestar sings instead.
  • Email dangeresque 3 — Homestar forgets his line about Perducci's location mid-shot and mispronounces "Tatsumaki Senpukyaku" as "The pipes are broken".
  • Email pom pom
    • Homestar thinks that a website had the top level domain of .egg or .muffin despite such things being impossible at the time.
    • Homestar doesn't react to Strong Bad's repeated pin prodding, even when he starts drawing blood.
    • When blindfolded Strong Bad asks Homestar is he's Pom Pom Homestar responds "Yeah, it's me".
    • Homestar things the blood from the multiple pin pricks on his chin are really bad zits
  • Email crying — Homestar cries hysterically at the sight of Strong Bad's drawings of Li'l Brudder and Tendafoot, and talks to them as if they're real.
  • Email the facts
    • Homestar points in the wrong direction to speak to Strong Bad and when he faces the right way, calls him Pom Pom.
    • Homestar whispers because "baby Strong Sad" is sleeping.
    • Homestar thinks that a show made of "disgusting little chit-chats" would be a number one hit.
  • Email time capsule — Homestar wants to put a "gross old wig" into Strong Bad's time capsule and when turned down, makes his own time box so the people of the future know that he had a "gross old wig".
  • Email extra plug — Homestar watches a picture of Andy Griffith's face taped to the TV and is the only person to think Strong Bad's ridiculous 'lectric Boots are cool.
  • Email montage — Homestar is defeated by the Wagon Fulla Pancakes dropping it's handle on his foot and lies there defeated well into the night.
  • Email virus — As viruses tear about the website:
    • Homestar attempts to fix Strong Bad's computer by taking words out of the Nav Bar.
    • Because the virus made Bubs's shotgun look like Homestar's leg, Homestar thinks that the shotgun is his actual leg when things go back to normal.
  • Email animal — Homestar asks Monstrosity if he "knows the times"?
  • Email radio — Homestar wears Marzipan's tote bag on his head.
  • Email part-time job — Strong Bad checks email in Marzipan's kitchen while hiding from Homestar.
    • Homestar declares the tennis ball he has is his new invention, the Super Question Machine.
    • Homestar responds to Strong Bad's stage whispers, not realising Strong Bad is there.
    • Homestar thinks that Tito the Tophaticent is a great new invention and an amazing undersea epic.
  • Email dreamail — Homestar interrupts Strong Bad's imagination to give him his pocket lint.
  • Email origins — Homestar at one point did bread sing-a-longs at The Stick.
    • Homestar keeps singing even as The Cheat beats him with a massive chain.
    • Homestar continues his Bread sing-a-longs at night, oblivious to Marzipan glued to Homsar.
  • Email secret recipies
    • Homestar calls Sour Cream and The Cheat Hair ice cream.
    • Homestar spits it out when he thinks it's cottage cheese and The Cheat hair.
    • Homestar's Diaper Pie prank food is a pine cone in a bowl with a straw and a sign saying it's not a "Pime Cone".
    • Strong Bad tricks Homestar into eating the pine cone at which point Homestar declares, "So long, suckers!" Strong Bad observes: "It's like, even when we win, he wins."
  • Email long pants — The question of Homestar's pants is addressed.
    • Homestar takes Strong Bad's abridged email to meand to put on daisy dukes to get light globes.
    • Homestar hysterically overreacts to Strong Bad's comment that he appears to wear no pants.
    • Homestar is suprised to learn that Marzipan is not a broom
  • Email rampage — Homestar hits himself in the face with a gavel.
  • Email garage sale
    • The Cheat steals Homestar while ransacking his house. Instead of resisting, Homestar gives him advice on what's valuable.
    • In the Easter egg, Homestar does a sales pitch for himself, buys himself and then buys twelve of himself, in that order.
  • Email do over — Homestar swaps places with The Cheat in Strong Bad's imagination
    • During the Sisters redo Homestar starts falling for Strong Bad
  • Email boring (really) — Homestar has trouble keeping his eyes closed.
  • Email bottom 10 — Homestar shows off his bottom through a Butt Dance that causes Strong Bad to puke.
  • Email record book — Homestar's redneck jokes are barely even jokes.
  • Email geddup noise — Homestar once again switches between hosting a talk show and a game show.
  • Email space program — Homestar has trouble putting on a sweater and when repelled by "Strap" declares he should have asked the Italian space program for help.
  • Email portrait — Homestar thinks Strong Bad having a marquee stuck around his head is a new haircut.
  • Email death metal — Homestar follows Strong Bad's advice for joining a death metal band but thinks he's applying for a Jazz ensemble.
  • Email secret identity — Homestar paid for his motel room twice
  • Email technology — Homestar buys four "wireless extension cords".
  • Email narrator — Homestar responds to Marzipan's comment that his chef's hat makes him look like a dork by saying she looks like an enormous alien cow, greatly offending her.
  • Email myths & legends — Homestar thinks that Pom Pom is literally his dog.
  • Email lady fan — Homestar keeps doing exersize routines through out the email, telling Strong bad to "Twees it out."
  • Email disconnected — Homestar calls Head Bad "Eggman".
  • Email candy product — Homestar is dumb enough to steal a pair of half eaten choco-pants.
  • Email alternate universe — Homestar uses Strong Bad's alternate universe portal to make a fruit smoothie, oblivious to all the alternate Strong Bads he is summoning.
  • Email senior prom
    • Homestar mistakes Coach Z for a woman called Deborah and thinks "she"'s a couple with Strong Sad.
    • Homestar insists that Strong Bad's prank made his pants poof away despite looking exactly the same afterwards.
  • Email isp — Homestar provides unhelpful tech support to Strong Bad.
    • Homestar calls him "ma'am".
    • Homestar "transfers" Strong Bad's call by pretending to be hold music.
    • Homestar tries to get Strong Bad's home adress to send him his weight in sign-up CDs.
  • Email keep cool — Homestar doesn't seem to notice that he's possibly broken Strong Bad's spine.
  • Email theme song — The "bludgeon you over the head with the blunt ed of the show's premise" version of the theme song contains the lyrics, "there's nobody dumber than Homestar Runner"; during which Homestar smashes through the table, produces a sandwich of white bread and light bulbs and takes a bite of it.
  • Email road trip — Homestar mistakes Strong Bad and The Cheat for a couple making out and tries to find a meltshake he left a month ago.
  • Email trading cards
    • Homestar is proud to receive butt pats from Coach Z and is saddened to learn that butt patting is not part of the school curriculum.
    • Strong Bad makes his own trading cards out of sticky notes to get Homestar out of his hair. Strong Bad wonders how many times he's had to do so in the past to which Homestar answers, 35.
  • Email cliffhangers — Homestar thinks he's a pregnant woman until Strong Sad tells him otherwise.
  • Email retirement — After helping Strong Bad blow up the Tandy 400, Homestar pours Mountain Dew over his carpet.
  • Email coloring — Homestar is part of Marzipan's L.U.R.N. kindergarten/cult. He refers to crayons as "crowns" and is offended when Strong Bad tries to correct him.
  • Email 4 branches — When asked in an email about the stupidest things Homestar has done, said, or imagined, Strong Bad said the topic was much too broad to cover in a single email and introduced the audience to the "4 Branches of Stupid Things Homestar's done" with an example of each.
    • The House of Doing Stupid Things on National Television: On The Show AM, Homestar's make-over of the King of Town is nothing by dumping mustard over his head and the bad boyfriend he as on is himself.
    • The Bureau of Doing Stupid Things at the Office: Homestar somehow gets himself stuck in the water cooler- which somehow started with him putting up a picture in Barbados- and when Strong Bad fails to free him he cheerfully resigns himself to being stuck forever. He then seems to forget he's stuck and asks Strong Bad where they're going to lunch.
    • The Joint Sub-Committee on so Stupid it's Smart-ities: Homestar sometimes does something so dumb, it's smart. It is demonstrated by him accurately stating Coulomb's Law in response to two plus two. When Strong Sad calls him stupid, Homestar "corrects" his answer to twenty two.
    • The Boudoir of Doing Stupid Things While Inside a College Mascot Costume: The most powerful branch.
      • Homestar locks himself out of his house and sets up camp in The Jolly Dumple mascot costume.
      • Homestar cooks an empty juice box over an open fire he's set up inside the costume
      • After Coach Z warns him that the costume is made of "flame pro-tardent" Polymascotfoamalate he flashes back to an Old-Timey film real about the material and declares what he's doing to be completely safe, right before it explodes in a fireball.
  • Email the chair — The Homestar chair Bubs tries to sell Strong Bad is implied to be Homestar himself.
  • Email looking old — Homestar mistakes Homsar for himself while waiting in line for an iTem.
  • Email strong badathlon — The champion of the Greco-Roman Homestar Crud-Out-of-Beating is Homestar Runner himself. Strong Bad says they should start putting Homestar vs Homestar fights on pay-per-view.
  • Email unnatural — Homestar upon seeing King Bubsgonzola Supreme, thinks that Bubs has turned him and the rest of the cast into ants, spending the rest of the email doing typical ant activities and believing he has six legs.
  • Email the movies — Homestar doesn't just talk during the movies, he makes conversation with the characters on screen. He also fails to notice that he's in a crater after Strong Bad blasted him with a bazooka.
  • Email your funeral — At Strong Bad's funeral Homestar fails to notice that Coach Z accidentally recorded over Strong Bad's eulogy and reads from "the book of phone" as if it was a holy book.
  • Email from work — Homestar tells Strong Bad what his dream job is despite Strong Bad telling him no multiple times.
  • Email rough copy
    • Homestar sells Strong Bad flavored water.
    • Homestar thinks Strong Bad and The Cheat "suing" him with a water balloon pelting is the orders "violently flying in".
    • Homestar also sells Malinko Drinko, implied to be Malinko flavored water.
  • Email underlings — Homestar had a piece of cilantro stuck between his teeth for two weeks and is stunned to learn he apparently has teeth.
  • Email more armies — The Homestarmy has a booth at the Vaguely Military Career Fair.
    • Homestar tries to lead in with asking the viewer if they're good at video games, before going on a tangent about how he mixed up his Sega and the waffle iron.
    • Homestar give a pamphlet, which is an video game instruction manual, before tearing it in half to make two pamphlets.
    • Homestar starts making a metaphor about comparing girlfriends to orange bowls and wooden spoons, before losing track and telling the viewer to get out of there for being weird.
  • Email the paper — Homestar once again tries to pour Mountain Dew on Strong Bad's computer, only to be stopped by The Paper. He tries to defend himself by saying he was pouring other soft drinks over it.
  • Email mini-golf — Homestar goes diving in the blue water claiming to have seen exotic marine life when all that's down there is cigarette butts and a bra.
  • Email original — Homestar believes that Original Bubs was real and misses him. Marzipan tells him Strong Bad made it all up, to which he retorts "You can't make up eyesight that good!"
  • Email bike thief
    • Homestar leaves his bike improperly locked to The Stick allowing Strong Bad and then Marzipan to steal his bike.
    • Homestar uses Strong Bad's advice to try and steal the Lappy 486 while Strong Bad is still looking.
  • Email pizza joint
    • Homestar thinks The Pizz is an actual pizza joint even after Strong Bad tells him it's just a front to meet girls, even to the point of getting himself hired as a delivery boy.
    • Homestar and The King of Town try to use Virtualpiz.biz to order pizza.
  • Email slumber party
    • Strong Bad tricks Homestar into playing "family card games" that destroy his house like "Find the Load Bearer" and "Bed Axe".
    • Homestar despite living on his own and apparently being an adult, still sticks to Clapping Party.
  • Email business trip — Homestar gets the concepts of business trips and camping trips mixed up, taking cans of Pork and Beans with them and getting scared of bears.
  • Email yes, wrestling — Homestar's tag partner, Gary the Legend, is imaginary.
  • Email nightlife — Homestar sleepwalks into Club Technochocolate thinking he's a girl scout. In the Easter egg, he eats a kazoo.
  • Email enviroment — Homestar keeps thinking he's about to win the game he's playing, despite not having a cartridge in the machine.
  • Email winter pool — Homestar and Strong Bad fill the pool with red gelatin.
    • Homestar chose to get paid for the Fully Puff commercials he did in Fluffy Puff Translucent Dessert Related Substance rather than a million dollars in cash, noting that the million dollars wouldn't have half filled the pool.
    • Homestar says "you three" when it's him, Strong Bad and Strong Sad.
    • Homestar assumes that gelatin will naturally attract an oiled up Bill Cosby.
    • As Homestar and Strong Bad suffocate at the bottom of the gelatin-filled pool, Homestar asks Strong Bad to preserve his body in red gelatin.
  • Email fan club — Homestar breaks character during Strong Sad's fan fic, mistaking Strong Sad's naration for his own Strong Sad impression.
  • Email pet show — Marzipan enters Homestar in a pet show.
    • Homestar tries to dump relish on Strong Bad's foot, an apparently frequent occurrence Strong Bad refers to as "Relish Foot."
    • When entered as "Fluffle's Buffles Scruffle's Truffles Homestar Runner", Homestar claims his friends call him "Scruffles".
  • Email licenced — Homestar buys an unlicensed unlicensed Strong Bad pinata from Bubs and finds out it's full of broken glass the hard way, with glass shards embedded his face. He is completely unfazed by it, saying it it was still his best birthday ever.
    • In the Easter egg, Homestar once again mistakes an inflated The Cheat for an ugly bird.
  • Email shapeshifter — Homestar enters Strong Bad's computer room with a chessboard covered in ice cream and sprinkles.
  • Email specially marked — Homestar gets Crack Stuntman's name wrong.
  • Email love poems — Homestar's love poem appears to be his grocery list.
  • Email hiding
  • Email magic trick
  • Email being mean
  • Email email thunder
  • Email hremail3184
  • Email independant
  • Email dictionary
  • Email videography
  • Email sbemail 206
  • Email too cool

Marzipan's Answering Machine

  • Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 9.2 — After leaving a message breaking up with Marzipan, Homestar tries to correct the error by replacing her answering machine tape with a fake one where he poorly imitates the usual calls Marzipan gets, including one of himself.

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  • The Cheat Theme Song — Homestar Runner thinks the music video was a video game.
  • Fish Eye Lens — Homestar breaks the rap song video by suggesting to point the Fish Eye Lens at a real fish eye.

Games

Others

  • Where My Hat Is At? — Homestar Runner left his hat in the Fridge.
  • Broken Compy Menu — Homestar complains to Bubs about the Concession Stand, despite Bubs not being there.
    • When Bubs returns Homestar claims he was talking to nobody, then everybody, then Strong Mad. When Bubs asks where Strong Mad went, Homestar claims he flew away.
    • Bubs sells the "slightly shotgunned" Compy386 to Homestar as a "low priced automobile".

Stupid Things Homestar's Said

Big Toons

Shorts

  • Fluffy Puff Commercial
    • "Before I drink a tall glass of melonade, I like to eat about 147 Flushy Push Marfmallows. Seriously folks, they're—"
    • "Before I drink something, oftentimes I eat something too."
    • "Before I drink 147 glasses of melonade, I eat 147 Fluffity Puffity Marshalades."
    • "Before I eat a tall slice of marmalade I like to drink lots and lots of marshmallows. I mean Fluffy Puffies."
  • Where's the Cheat? — "Hey, stupid! I brought you this stuff! Oh, I mean, I brought you this veggie burger."

Holiday Toons

Strong Bad Emails

  • Email helium — "Whoa, Marzipan. Check out that ugly bird. [...] No way! The Cheat is one fine-looking young man. That is an ugly bird."
  • Email specially marked — "Blah, Strong Bad, blah! I'm a crappy Stuntman!"
  • Email hiding — "Why I've got half a mind!"

Marzipan's Answering Machine

  • Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 6.0 — "Oh, hey, Marzipan! This is Homestar. Um, I was wondering if you could help me with a dilemma I'm having. I can't think of what to get my girlfriend for Valentine's Day. Um, she's kind of annoying, and overbearing, and kind of a big hippie. So if you could {slowly realizes that he's talking about Marzipan} buh... oh. {poorly imitates operator error tone} Doo doo doo!! The number you have reached is not... your boyfriend calling you... uh... right now. {poorly imitates dial tone} Doooooo do do do do dooooooo this is the dial tone dooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Okay, bye!"
  • Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 9.2 — After leaving a message breaking up with Marzipan, Homestar tries to correct the error by replacing her answering machine tape with a fake one.
    • {deep voice} "Oh, hey, Marzipan. This is the Strong Baad. Uh... go around... go around with doo doo on your head... 'cause it could be funny. Okay, bye. Beep!"
    • {imitating Coach Z} "Oh... great job. Oh, I mean... great job. Oh, I mean... great job. Boop!"
    • {depressed monotone} "Oh, hey Marzipan this is Strong Sad. Um... some animal died. Boop!"

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Games

  • Who Said What Now? — "Now spell encyclopedia.... What? I'm supposed to what?! Oh, man... I blew it real bad this time."

Others

  • First Time Here?
    • "Welcome to HomestarRunner.net."
    • "Oh right, HomestarRunner.net. It's dot com!"
    • "Something.com!"
    • "Welcome aboard the USS Homestarrunner.com. I am your captain, Homestar Runner—"
    • "Bienvenidos a Homestarrunner.com. ¿Conoces a Miguel? ¡Sí! Somos buenos amigos—"
    • "I am Homestar, and This is A Website!"
    • "Oh, hello! I'm Homestar Runner! ... Isn't that great?"
  • Homestar Runner's Character Video — "If I had to pick one word to describe myself, it would probably be... Fluffy Puff Marshmallows. Or Homestar. Either one, really. They both fit."
  • Strong Bad's Character Video
    • "Well, I was gonna get a high five, but, I see that I'm already here."
    • "That sounds re-ZON-able."

Stupid Things Homestar's Imagined

Mongolian Beef Wig

Strong Bad claimed in 4 branches that the list of stupid things Homestar has imagined is so long that it has its own spreadsheet. Homestar's imagination is rarely shown in full on screen but is shown to be a strange and stupid place when it does.

  • Email colonization — Homestar addresses the imaginary masses who cheer his statements declaring eggs to not be a fruit; dirty diapers to no longer be legal tender; and that guys called Henry can no longer call themselves Hank.
  • Email 4 Branches — Clicking on "spreadsheet" brings up Homestar's idea for a wig made of Mongolian Beef.
  • Email from work — Homestar's dream job is to "be the guy who flies around on that big plastic goldfish, painting the clouds with an oversized novelty toothbrush".
  • Donut Unto Others — Homestar claims to have dreamt that "[he] was a French long-jump champion with eight wooden legs!" but from what we see, he's a Mexican high-jump champion with only one leg.

See Also

[[Category:Homestar Runner running gags]]

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