User:Has Matt?

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<div class="plainlinks featuredstar">[{{fullurl:Homsar}} http://www.hrwiki.org/images/d/dd/Featuredstarsmall.png]</div>
 
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|'''<big>Headline Text</big>
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|'''<big>The Most Beautiful Things in the World</big>
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So I haven't been editing much lately. Some possible reasons (read: excuses) for this are: I have been moving on to other Internet venues, my teachers want me to collapse under the weight of my homework, or general laziness. Whatever the reason, please know that I will always hold a special place for the HRWiki in my heart. And maybe my esophagus, also, too.'''
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And she just sits there. The same way all the other people sit, but she does it differently. It seems like she has a purpose for sitting that way, filling the notebook lines with her casually perfect script - yet neither of us knows what purpose that is.
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[[Image:ComputerygeneratedHasMatt.PNG|thumb|150px|Me, in all my computery generated glory. Incidentally, my computer room looks just like that.]]
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Everything she does has a purpose, and she doesn’t realize it. Everything she does is beautiful, and she doesn’t realize it. In other words, she’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever known.
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Hey, Tubbs! This is Has Matt? speaking. Typing. Whatever. You can just call me "Matt" for short. (But if you're going to type my full name, ''please don't forget the question mark!'') My real name is Taylor, and I'm a 14 years old boy living in the Dallas/Fort Worth area of Texas. (See my [[Wikipedia:User:Stupid Corn|Wikipedia userpage]] for more detailed info about me.) I'm just another editor on this fine wiki of ours. I'm a huge geek, so naturally I love Homestar Runner.  
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Her head is facing downward, and I can see the roof of her neck. Her playfully dangling hair covers most of her face, teasing and mocking me. From what I can see of her eyes, she remains deeply focused on the contents of her page. For now, she doesn’t notice me. Her feet kick innocently back and forth in the rhythm of a schoolyard intellectual. It is a simple beauty that cannot be duplicated.
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Here's some other stuff you may or may not care about.
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I turn my gaze to her busy hands, the polished marble hands of a warm-blooded statue. I get this feeling, the kind that suddenly makes me aware of the location of my lower stomach. I am glad she doesn’t know what I have just felt, but a few seconds later I realize how stupid this is and I wish she did know.
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<!--==My History==
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[[Image:Strong Bad crappy news.PNG|thumb|300px|"Today's broadcast is total crap!"]]
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I first discovered H*R in 2003, when this fellow geek told me about it. I thought it was going to be  another one of those "Badger, Badger, Badger" things that were flying around the Internet like crazy those days. What I found was a lot better than I expected. The first toon I watched was probably [[First Time Here?]] (unlike the rest of yous guys that went straight to [[dragon]]). I thought it was hilarious, so I decided to watch more. That's when my initial fascination came to an abrupt halt. The first things I watched were the older toons, like [[A Jorb Well Done]] and [[Where's The Cheat?]] While there were good, they weren't exactly "LOL" material. So I stopped visiting for a while.
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A few months later, that same person from before again referred me to the site, so I tried again. This time I watched some more toons and played some of the games, and they made me laugh a bit more, but I wasn't hooked yet. Then one day, after I had checked out nearly everything else on the site, I went to the Strong Bad Emails.
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Her hands are directly connected to her brain. Nothing they do is done without the mind’s approval, and everything they do is done with the violent, passionate precision of a concert violinist. She doesn’t play the violin, or any other instrument, but she doesn’t need to. Her hands are her instrument, and her words are her music.  
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"Why did you visit the emails last?" you might ask. I don't really know, to be honest. I was stupid back then. But anyway, I checked out the emails and I was hooked. I became an avid fan of Homestar, checking the site nearly every Monday for updates. My favorite email at the time was [[kids' book]]. Seeing Albert rig the enemy base with explosives still kills me to this day.  
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If I were to ask anyone else in the room if they thought she was beautiful, most would say no. Preconceived notions are too powerful, too entrenched, and too convenient. When we teach people the definition of beauty, we’re using the wrong dictionary. Beauty should not have such a narrow and arbitrary definition, if any definition at all. Sometimes, beauty is independent of any categorical standard. Sometimes, beauty just is.
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Sometime around the middle of 2005, I discovered the Wiki. Don't ask me how, I was on a sugar high that day. However, I didn't become a member just yet. Frankly, I didn't even know ''how'' to become a member. What a n00b I was. I just looked around the Wiki and admired the tireless work of the people that made it possible. Then I noticed some things that were wrong with some of the pages, and when I finally discovered how to make an acoount, I decided to do so, and I have been happily contributing to this Wiki ever since.  
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These were the thoughts going through my head, and I really wished they could fly out of my head and go through hers as well. But I don’t think she ever concerns herself with such things. I almost cried when the inevitable thought came around, flying to the front lines of my internal conflict: If I were to ask her if she was beautiful, she would say no.  
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Aww. What a happy ending.-->
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The bell rings, and she closes her book. She looks up and notices for the first time that I am looking at her. I almost jerk my head away, but something keeps it fixed there, our vulnerable eyes finally meeting.
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==Contribs==
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She says something to me, and I say something to her. There is no time to say anything of substance, so these words don’t matter. I know that I will spend the rest of the class ignoring the teacher, ignoring everyone around me, as I try to come up with something meaningful to say after the bell rings again, when my sentences will be set free.
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{{userboxtop}}
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{{userbox|border=#000|mainbkgd=#CCF|codebkgd=#30f|codecolor=#000|code=IRC|msg=This user somethetimes visits the '''[[HRWiki:IRC channel|IRC channel]]'''.}}
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{{userbox|border=#00008B|mainbkgd=#F5F5F5|codebkgd=#0000CD|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:Homestarpedia.png|45px]]|msg=This user is also on '''[[Wikipedia:User:Stupid Corn|'Kipedia]]'''.}}
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{{userbox|border=#000000|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#6699CC|codebkgd=indigo|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:FCUSAMaybe.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user is on the '''[http://www.frappr.com/homestarrunnerwiki HRWiki Frappr map]'''.}}
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{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF9900|codebkgd=#FFCC00|codecolor=#663333|code=<small>TEEN</small>|msg=This user is a teenage boy between the ages of '''13 and 19'''.}}
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{{userbox|border=navy|mainbkgd=lightsteelblue|codebkgd=lightgray|codecolor=black|code=[[Image:Texas_flag.gif|47px]]|msg=This user lives in '''[[Wikipedia:Texas|Texas]]''', y'all.}}
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{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#ED9121|codebkgd=#FFFFFF|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:Fox.PNG|46px]]|msg=This user contributes using '''[[Wikipedia:Mozilla Firefox|Mozilla Firefox]]'''.}}
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{{userbox | border=#000000 | mainbkgd=#FF9900 | codebkgd=#FFCC00 | codecolor=#663333 | code=[[Image:Subtitles Project Logo.png|42px]] | msg=This user works on the '''[[HRWiki:Subtitles|subtitles project]]'''.}}
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{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#CC6666|codebkgd=#FF6666|codecolor=#000000|code=HI|msg=This user is on the '''[[HRWiki:Welcoming committee|wecloming committee]]'''.}}
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{{userbox|border=#000000|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#66CCCC|codebkgd=#FFFFFF|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:dvd3discset.gif|43px]]|msg=This user wishes he had something from the '''[[Store|store]]'''.}}
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{{userbox|border=black|mainbkgd=gold|codebkgd=black|codecolor=#FFF|code=[[Image:Guitar Hero II Trogdor Bonus.JPG|50px]]|msg=This user has rocked out to '''[[Trogdor (song)|Trogdor]]''' on '''[[Wikipedia:Guitar_Hero_2|Guitar Hero 2]]'''.}}
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{{userbox|border=#008000|mainbkgd=#E0FFFF|codebkgd=#20B2AA|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:sfd.png|43px]]|msg=This user's favorite toon is '''[[Shopping for Danger]]'''.}}
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{{userbox|border=#FFA500|mainbkgd=#FFCE7B|codebkgd=#FFA500|codecolor=#FFFFFF|code=[[Image:qod 9 - homsar.PNG|43px]]|msg=This user's favorite character is '''[[Homsar]]'''.}}
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{{userbox|border=black|mainbkgd=#B80|codebkgd=white|codecolor=#FFF|code=[[Image:Where's an Egg - Items - Egg.png|35px]]|msg=Этот пользователь '''[[Where's an Egg?|нашел яйцо]]'''.}}
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{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=lightgreen|codebkgd=#000000|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:KidspeedyHR.png|40px]]|msg=This user has won a '''[[Kid Speedy|mills bills]]'''.}}
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{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FF6666|codebkgd=#CCCCCC|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:HeadlessSB.png|40px]]|msg=This user's moves are '''[[disconnected|twicely fresh!]]''' Twicely fresh!}}
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{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#FC9|codebkgd=#963|codecolor=#000000|code=[[Image:boom box.png|40px]]|msg=This user listens to '''[[radio|college radio]]'''.}}
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{{userbox|border=#000000|mainbkgd=#C9C9C9|codebkgd=#000000 |codecolor=#00FF00|code=[[Image:Doppelgangers.png|43px]]|msg=This user '''[[alternate universe|saves the last email for Strong Bad]]'''.}}
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===Page Creations===
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*[[Peas]]
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*[[The Proud Anselmo]]
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*[[Diapers]]
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*[[Hollerin' Jimmy's Hobby Kit]]
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*[[Dreamaway Johnny]]
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*[[School Paste]]
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*[[Cardboard Boxes]]
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*[[The Cheat's Glowsticks]]
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*[[Tree Hugging]]
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*[[Peanuts]]
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*[[Made-Up Body Parts]]
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*[[Presidents]]
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*[[Trailer Home]]
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*[[Grrl]]
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*[[Jurvy-Skat]]
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*[[Bowler Hats]]
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*[[Naked Homestar]]
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*[[Secret Identities]]
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*[[Needlepoint]] (my first transcription, even if it is a puny one)
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*[[Chuck Taylor All-Stars]]
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*[[Flashforward (disambiguation)]]
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*[[Some Type of Online Auction]] (originally a redirect)
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*[[Pterodactyl]]
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*[[Robots]]
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*[[Buck Webb, Extraordinaire]]
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*[[Gymnasium]]
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*[[News Articles]]
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*[[Pom Pom's Hypothetical Family]]
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*[[Underwear]]
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*[[Spaceships]]
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*[[Gold]]
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*[[Edgar#Edgar's Baby's Daddy|Edgar's Baby's Daddy]]
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*[[Strong Sad's Severed Head]]
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*[[The Big Lebowski]]
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*[[Tiny-Handed Strong Bad]]
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*[[Supra Modern Telegram]]
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*[[Middle School Variation]]
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*[[Alleyway]]
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*[[Swimming Pool]]
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*[[Butter]]
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*[[Brains]]
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*[[Squirrels]]
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*[[USS Flirtini]]
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*[[Total]]
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*[[All-Wide Science Fair]]
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*[[Z. Gillispie]]
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*[[Milk Cartons]]
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*[[Page Titles]]
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===Random Crap===
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By the time class has ended and everyone has left, I have conjured the perfect string of words to unleash upon her. She will be helpless to resist it; she will not remember how to say no. My moment has finally arrived, and I turn around to see what lies ahead for me.
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[[Image:defender_of_the_wiki.jpg|thumb|116px|'''Thanks for the reverting!''']]
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*Transcripts:
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**[[Old Intro 2]]
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**[[Intro 2]]
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**[[more armies]]
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**[[Rap Song]]
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**[[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 15.2]]
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*English subtitles:
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**[[mini-golf]]
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**[[Limozeen vs. Sloshy]] (started by [[User:Trey56|Trey]])
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**[[business trip]]
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**[[Rap Song]]
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**[[Toikey TV]]
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**[[yes, wrestling]]
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**[[Happy Dethemberween]]
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*Overhauled transcripts:
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**[[Peasant's Quest Preview]]
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**[[Malloween Commercial]]
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**[[A Jumping Jack Contest]]
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**[[Mr. Shmallow (toon)|Mr. Shmallow]]
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**[[The King of Town DVD New Version]]
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*Added some places to [[Teen Girl Squad Locations]].
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*Welcomed over 200 users.
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*Trancribed the DVD Dullard strips in [[dullard]].
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*Helping bring [[The Geddup Noise]] and [[Blue Laser]] up to featured article status.
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*Started page and transcript for [[death metal]].
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*Started [[Main Page 24]] and [[Jibblies 2 Costumes]].
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*Added sources for all the [[The King of Town#Favorite Foods|foods]] The King of Town has eaten. Also made into a fancy table.
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Some of my more general activities around this wiki include updating the [[Other Costumes]] pages, updating the Weeklies ([[Quote of the Week]], [[Weekly Fanstuff]], [[Sketchbook]]), cleaning up [[Special:Newpages|new articles]], writing summaries for [[HRWiki:Featured articles|featured articles]], voting on [[HRWiki:STUFF|STUFF]], uploading [[Special:Upload|images]], and reverting [[HRWiki:WikiTroll|vandals]]. I also love the pandemonium that comes when a new email or toon is released. Usually the Chaps post the new toon when I'm asleep, but sometimes I get lucky and I have the opportunity to add a bunch of facts, update a bunch of pages, and even (gasp!) transcribe the toon! The plausibilities are endless!
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And she just sits there. Her notebook is again open, this time to a different page from a different class. The subtle movements of her arm suggest she is ready to close it and move on, but something keeps her there, as if she has become entranced by her own words.
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It doesn’t occur to me that she could be waiting for me to walk over a few feet and start a conversation. I’m too busy drowning in her cascade of hair to realize this possibility.
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Then there comes the stinging worry that she might catch me looking again. So I pretend to look up at the clock and I immediately leave the room and her, knowing I am acting against myself in the process. I try my hardest not to look back, and somehow succeed. I feel terrible.
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I walk further down the hallways and merge with the rumbling crowd. I barely make it to my next class, where there sits next to me another girl with the same posture, the same handwriting, the same statue hands. She stealthily glances over in my direction a few times, thinking I am not aware. She says something to me, and I say something back. Her cosmic eyes reflect the florescent lights in the ceiling. She smiles at me, and I smile back.
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But she knows she is beautiful, and so she is not.
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'''
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|}
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==Things I Wish Homsar Would Say==
 
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<big>'''NOTE: THIS HAS BEEN MOVED TO MY [[User:Has Matt?/Homsar quotes|SUBPAGE]]. PLEASE CONTINUE TO ADD QUOTES.'''</big>
 
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==Just an ordinary day at the Wiki...==
 
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====28 January 2007====
 
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*([[Special:Log/block|Block log]]); 14:92 . . [[User:Kilroy|Kilroy]] ([[User talk:Kilroy|Sailed the ocean blue]] | [[Special:Contributions/Kilroy|ctrbs]]) ''(blocked "[[User:The Chort]]" with an expiry time of whatever: Put a block log entry into the deletion log.)''
 
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*([[Special:Log/block|Deletion log]]); 14:41 . . [[User:The Chort|The Chort]] ([[User talk:The Chort|Talk]] | [[Special:Contributions/The Chort|ctrbs]]) (''blocked "[http://www.jamesblunt.com/| James Blunt]" with an expiry time of infinite: For producing crappy music)''
 
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*([[Special:Log/delete|Deletion log]]); 14:41 . . [[User:Lapper|Lapper]] ([[User talk:Lapper|Talk]] | [[Special:Contributions/Lapper|ctrbs]]) ''(deleted "[[This is not a page.|Strong Bad Email]]": Merged with [[Main Page]].)''
 
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*([[Special:Random|diff]]) ([[Special:Random|hist]]) . . '''m''' [[for kids]]; 14:39 . . [[User:Tom|Tom]] ([[User talk:Tom|Talk]] | [[Special:Contributions/Tom|ctrbs]]) ''(Reverted edit of Jay, changed back to last version by NSMC7364825482)''
 
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*([[Special:Log/block|Block log]]); 14:39 . . [[User:BazookaJoe|BazookaJoe]] ([[User talk:BazookaJoe|Talk]] | [[Special:Contributions/BazookaJoe|ctrbs]]) ''(blocked "[[User:It's dot com]]" with an expiry time of infinite: Rogue admin from the future!)''
 
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*([[Special:Log/block|Block log]]); 14:39 . . [[User:JoeyDay|JoeyDay]] ([[User talk:JoeyDay|Talk]] | [[Special:Contributions/JoeyDay|ctrbs]]) ''(blocked "[[User:JoeyDay]]" with an expiry time of infinite: GOODBYE WORLD!)''
 
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*([[Special:Log/block|Block log]]); 14:38 . . [[User:JoeyDay|JoeyDay]] ([[User talk:JoeyDay|Talk]] | [[Special:Contributions/JoeyDay|ctrbs]]) ''(blocked "<span style="color:#0000FF">User:Has Matt?</span>" with an expiry time of infinite: Vandalism)''
 
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*([[Special:Log/block|Block log]]); 14:37 . . [[User:Willy ON WHEELS!|Willy ON WHEELS!]] ([[User talk:Willy ON WHEELS!|Talk]] | [[Special:Contributions/Willy ON WHEELS!|ctrbs]]) ''(blocked "[[User:Salty]]" with an expiry time of infinite: WoW)''
 
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*([[Special:Log/block|Block log]]); 14:35 . . [[User:Salty|Salty]] ([[User talk:Salty|Talk]] | [[Special:Contributions/Salty|ctrbs]]) ''(blocked "[[User:Stu]]" with an expiry time of infinite: Drank too much Salty plum soda)''
 
<center>You're the http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbsite/counter.gif th biggest moron, ever.</center>
<center>You're the http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbsite/counter.gif th biggest moron, ever.</center>

Revision as of 01:23, 3 September 2009

The Most Beautiful Things in the World

And she just sits there. The same way all the other people sit, but she does it differently. It seems like she has a purpose for sitting that way, filling the notebook lines with her casually perfect script - yet neither of us knows what purpose that is.

Everything she does has a purpose, and she doesn’t realize it. Everything she does is beautiful, and she doesn’t realize it. In other words, she’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever known.

Her head is facing downward, and I can see the roof of her neck. Her playfully dangling hair covers most of her face, teasing and mocking me. From what I can see of her eyes, she remains deeply focused on the contents of her page. For now, she doesn’t notice me. Her feet kick innocently back and forth in the rhythm of a schoolyard intellectual. It is a simple beauty that cannot be duplicated.

I turn my gaze to her busy hands, the polished marble hands of a warm-blooded statue. I get this feeling, the kind that suddenly makes me aware of the location of my lower stomach. I am glad she doesn’t know what I have just felt, but a few seconds later I realize how stupid this is and I wish she did know.

Her hands are directly connected to her brain. Nothing they do is done without the mind’s approval, and everything they do is done with the violent, passionate precision of a concert violinist. She doesn’t play the violin, or any other instrument, but she doesn’t need to. Her hands are her instrument, and her words are her music.

If I were to ask anyone else in the room if they thought she was beautiful, most would say no. Preconceived notions are too powerful, too entrenched, and too convenient. When we teach people the definition of beauty, we’re using the wrong dictionary. Beauty should not have such a narrow and arbitrary definition, if any definition at all. Sometimes, beauty is independent of any categorical standard. Sometimes, beauty just is.

These were the thoughts going through my head, and I really wished they could fly out of my head and go through hers as well. But I don’t think she ever concerns herself with such things. I almost cried when the inevitable thought came around, flying to the front lines of my internal conflict: If I were to ask her if she was beautiful, she would say no.

The bell rings, and she closes her book. She looks up and notices for the first time that I am looking at her. I almost jerk my head away, but something keeps it fixed there, our vulnerable eyes finally meeting.

She says something to me, and I say something to her. There is no time to say anything of substance, so these words don’t matter. I know that I will spend the rest of the class ignoring the teacher, ignoring everyone around me, as I try to come up with something meaningful to say after the bell rings again, when my sentences will be set free.

By the time class has ended and everyone has left, I have conjured the perfect string of words to unleash upon her. She will be helpless to resist it; she will not remember how to say no. My moment has finally arrived, and I turn around to see what lies ahead for me.

And she just sits there. Her notebook is again open, this time to a different page from a different class. The subtle movements of her arm suggest she is ready to close it and move on, but something keeps her there, as if she has become entranced by her own words.

It doesn’t occur to me that she could be waiting for me to walk over a few feet and start a conversation. I’m too busy drowning in her cascade of hair to realize this possibility.

Then there comes the stinging worry that she might catch me looking again. So I pretend to look up at the clock and I immediately leave the room and her, knowing I am acting against myself in the process. I try my hardest not to look back, and somehow succeed. I feel terrible.

I walk further down the hallways and merge with the rumbling crowd. I barely make it to my next class, where there sits next to me another girl with the same posture, the same handwriting, the same statue hands. She stealthily glances over in my direction a few times, thinking I am not aware. She says something to me, and I say something back. Her cosmic eyes reflect the florescent lights in the ceiling. She smiles at me, and I smile back.

But she knows she is beautiful, and so she is not.



You're the counter.gif th biggest moron, ever.
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