Wyrmwood Video

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"2018 Consummate Trogdor. Available at Wyrmwood dealers everywhere."

The artisans at Wyrmwood Studios show how a Consummate Tier Trogdor!! The Board Game board is made, while Strong Bad commentates.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad (voiceover), Wyrmwood Narrator

Date: Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Running Time: 3:43

Transcript

{Video footage of wood carving as calm music plays. Strong Bad reads off words like a commercial, with the words appearing on screen in a very '80s font as he says them}

STRONG BAD: Synergy. Dynamic upstream. Unlock your potential.

WYRMWOOD: The Consummate Tier—

STRONG BAD: {normal tone} Whoa, who's talking?
WYRMWOOD: {talking underneath} an exclusive offering in this campaign from the artisans at Wyrmwood, is a tribute to the enduring majesty that is Trogdor the Burninator.

STRONG BAD: Wait, Trogdor? I just assumed from the music that this was a commercial for insurance, or one of them old man medications. {quietly to self} Jibblie.

WYRMWOOD: A true labor of love,—

STRONG BAD: This guy's just makin' eggs.
WYRMWOOD: {unintelligible} of the gameboard is painstakingly created from a striking combination of woods. Exotic Wenge with Waterfall Bubinga at the center—

STRONG BAD: Yeah, those are made-up names for wood.
WYRMWOOD: {continues under Strong Bad, inaudibly}

{Cut to a man leaning in to inspect the progress of a laser cutter}

STRONG BAD: This guy needs to back up off of this laser cutter.

{A close-up on the laser cutter engraving the Trogdor!! logo into the wood}

STRONG BAD: All right, that's pretty awesome. Wonder how many... ampu-layers—

WYRMWOOD: Trogdor {unintelligible} jet inlay, featuring a banner {unintelligible}
STRONG BAD: —of burnination their laser has.

{Phials marked "JET" and "BRASS" are used to apply detail to the laser etching}

STRONG BAD: We season the mighty Burninator with fresh cracked black pepper, and what is clearly cumin. Or maybe ground mustard.
WYRMWOOD: {continues under Strong Bad, inaudibly}

{A jug pours a thick liquid onto a plank of wood, and then is spread out across the surface with a roller}

STRONG BAD: We dump an entire gallon of Grandma's protein shake on a board, for no reason.

{A man affixes another plank atop the first, then runs it through a saw}

WYRMWOOD: But the Consummate Tier isn't just {unintelligible}. The entire experience is fundamentally different, allowing you to keep the game organized—
STRONG BAD: {imitating the saw noises, then a splatter} Brrrow! Spblt! "Aah, my hand!"

{Cut to a close-up of one of the map tiles, where a hand uses two fingers to show the tile rocking back and forth before flipping it over}

WYRMWOOD: —and easily flip tiles, due to the design of the board itself.

STRONG BAD: Whoa, that's awesome! Go back, go back!

{The video rewinds, returning to the shot of the tile being flipped}

STRONG BAD: Tapple tapple tapple, tipple, flipple! I could watch that all day!

{The video rewinds again}

STRONG BAD: So satisfying. It calms-a my frazzled nerves!

{The video rewinds again}

STRONG BAD: Tapple tapple tapple, tipple, flipple.

{The video rewinds again}

STRONG BAD: {in his soothing voice} And again, breathing out. Tapple tapple tapple, tipple, flipple! That's right, far out.

{The video moves on, showing a laser cutter cutting out the rectangular holes for the game board}

WYRMWOOD: Waterfall Bubinga— {continues under Strong Bad, inaudible}
STRONG BAD: We spent thousands of dollars on this laser cutter, because apparently no one at the office could figure out... rectangles.

{The man finishes cutting the game board and holds it up for the camera}

STRONG BAD: "I made holes!"

{The video continues, showing the board being assembled, and then an electronic sander being used on the Trogdor!! logo}

STRONG BAD: Whoa! This guy totally ruined this board, and won't be working here much longer.

{The silver stringing is inlaid by hand into the logo}

WYRMWOOD: Consummate Vs of genuine silver draw your attention right where it belongs: to he who comes in the night.

STRONG BAD: Yes. Now that's what I'm talking about!

{In the video, wood for the frame is cut and fitted together while the music becomes more upbeat}

STRONG BAD: Music swells. So take back your bladder. Control your diet. Get more sleep. Rekindle your romance. All the stuff that happens at the end of these commercials.

WYRMWOOD: You can also use the integrated Lazy Susan—

{Video cuts to a finished game board, with a pair of hands rotating it freely}

WYRMWOOD: —to turninate the board during gameplay.

STRONG BAD: Haha! "Turninate"! I like that, I like that!

{Video begins showing a few small pieces of wood being cut and assembled}

STRONG BAD: No, wait, let's go back!

{Video rewinds again, returning to the board being rotated. A beat starts up, and the video is looped several times as several filters are applied to it.}

STRONG BAD: Turninate! Turninate! {imitating a record scratching on a turntable} Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, turninate! Wyrmwood and Strong Bad with the turninate!

{The video returns to the compass assembly}

WYRMWOOD: This allows each player to look at the board and inlaid compass with the proper orientation, making following the instructions on each card simple.

STRONG BAD: This is especially helpful for your dumb friends, like that one guy Nathan. And that one lady, San...dra...
WYRMWOOD: {continues under Strong Bad, inaudibly}

{More silver is inlaid, and the board's surface is polished}

STRONG BAD: Each board is then hand-rubbed with, you guessed it: a-my butt.

{The finished board is displayed for the camera}

STRONG BAD: The 2018 Consummate Trogdor. Available at Wyrmwood dealers everywhere. {speaking more quickly} 6.2% APR, no money down, act now while supplies last, subject to some type of like stuff that makes you pay more... money if you didn't pay attention earlier...

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